How often do you notice the details around you?

Let’s see how well you think

you know those details!

How well do you know the back of your hand?

• Take out a separate piece of paper and then take your non-writing hand and put it behind your back. Answer the following questions:– Are there any birthmarks / freckles? If so, where?– Do you have any scars on the back of your

hand? If so, where?– Are there noticeable veins? If so, describe?– How would you describe the color of your hand?– How would you describe the texture of your

hand?

Painting a Picture With Words

Paint a picture in your writing with

specific words

sensory details

Nachsart

This is the most amazing place. First of all, it is humongous. It is one of the biggest places I know. There is plenty to do and explore. My friends and I hang out there every day of the summer, especially when it is hot. While I’m there, I see lots of different shapes like triangular and square things. I see many colors like red, purple, brown and orange. There is a plethora of yummy food choices. I always find a scrumptious meal whenever I go to this fabulous place.

Let’s take a closer look at this writer’s description

Word choices: amazing, humongous, scrumptious, fabulous

Comparisons: one of the biggest places I know

Sight details: lots of different shapes like triangular and square thingscolors like red, purple, brown and orange

Reasons: plenty to do and explorea plethora of yummy food choicesmy friends and I hang out there every day of thesummer

Let’s meet our writer

Plenty to do and explore

Scrumptious meal

Lots of colors and shapes

NachsartTrashcan

My friends and I hang out there every day of the summer, especially when it is hot

McFly and his friends enjoy a mouthwatering meal.

Be Specific

thing

toy toy car toy racecar Cars racecar Lightening McQueen

Exercise

a) The kids went to the restaurant for a treat.

b)The girls went to the park to play games.

c) We rode a lot of fun rides at the fair.

d) We went fishing a lot that summer.

Mark and Lisa Scoop Deck

ice cream sundaes

Mary and Irene Harrison Field soccer and softball

Dave and I The Tilt-a-Wheel, the Bullet, and the Bumper Cars

Ledyard Fair

e)She packed too much stuff for the vacation.

f) My cousin goes to college.

g) My sister bought a new car.

٨(name)

(name)٨

Look at your essay.

Are there any words or sections that need to be more specific?

•Slowly reread your short story

•Replace words or phrases that can be more specific

•If finish before class is over, switch with a partner and have peer revise for words or phrases that were missed but could be more specific.

Paint a picture in your writing with

specific words

sensory details

Sensory Details

Details that appeal to the sense of sight, smell, taste, touch, or sound

Find Exercise on your handout.

Exercise 2: Read through the passage and highlight or underline the sensory details throughout.

Until then, the bicycle shop had been a magic place for me, filled with the fairy tales Karin’s grandfather had told me, warm and bright even in the winter, strangely familiar with its faint smell of machine oil and black rubber that drifted up the stairs and wove itself into the apartment above, through the kitchen, and even into Karin’s room.

Until then, the bicycle shop had been a magic place for me, filled with the fairy tales Karin’s grandfather had told me, warm and bright even in the winter, strangely familiar with its faint smell of machine oil and black rubber that drifted up the stairs and wove itself into the apartment above, through the kitchen, and even into Karin’s room.

Karin was my best friend. We sat next to each other in Frau Behrmeir’s second-grade class. Her grandfather knew all the fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm book: Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Rumpelstilzchen . . . He told those stories in a voice that could drop from the roar of a dragon to the whisper of a princess.

Karin was my best friend. We sat next to each other in Frau Behrmeir’s second-grade class. Her grandfather knew all the fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm book: Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Rumpelstilzchen . . . He told those stories in a voice that could drop from the roar of a dragon to the whisper of a princess.

An old man with wide shoulders, he had a squat build that seemed to grow closer to the floor each year. He lived above the shop with Karin and her parents. In the back pocket of his overalls he carried a rag for polishing the bikes on display. Oil stains spread across the backs of his hands like birthmarks, but the bicycles were spotless and gleamed under the many light bulbs he’d rigged from the ceiling.

An old man with wide shoulders, he had a squat build that seemed to grow closer to the floor each year. He lived above the shop with Karin and her parents. In the back pocket of his overalls he carried a rag for polishing the bikes on display. Oil stains spread across the backs of his hands like birthmarks, but the bicycles were spotless and gleamed under the many light bulbs he’d rigged from the ceiling.

Once he took Karin and me on a ferry trip to Kaiserswerth and from there on an excursion boat to Altstadt, the old section of Dusseldorf. At an outdoor café with round tables, he ordered Fruchtebecher for us—layers of banana ice cream with pineapple chunks and whipped cream. Whenever flies tried to land on the checkered tablecloth, he swatted them away with his broad hands. A maple tree on the sidewalk was shedding some of its double-winged seeds, and we caught them as they twirled down like propellers and stuck them to our upper lips like his mustache.

Once he took Karin and me on a ferry trip to Kaiserswerth and from there on an excursion boat to Altstadt, the old section of Dusseldorf. At an outdoor café with round tables, he ordered Fruchtebecher for us—layers of banana ice cream with pineapple chunks and whipped cream. Whenever flies tried to land on the checkered tablecloth, he swatted them away with his broad hands. A maple tree on the sidewalk was shedding some of its double-winged seeds, and we caught them as they twirled down like propellers and stuck them to our upper lips like his mustache.

Look at your essay. Have you included sensory details? Are there sections where you might want to include more?

* Highlight sensory details you already have OR add sensory details = total of 7 sensory details in your rough draft.

Paint a picture in your writing with

specific words

sensory details