how to be hoosier: a guide to all things bloomington
DESCRIPTION
This tongue-in-cheek guide to Bloomington will have you speaking Hoosier in no time!TRANSCRIPT
welcome to bloomingtonwelcome to bloomingtonBy definition, a Hoosier is a native or inhabitant of Indiana, but everyone in Indiana knows the truth. Being a Hoosier is much more than just living in Indiana - it’s about being a part of Indiana University. As a Hoosier, one must be ready at a moment’s notice to represent the true spirit of IU. So grab your candy-striped pants, pop a squat on your roof, and open a Natty Light. You’re about to be schooled on how to be a Hoosier.
TAILGATETAILGATE
Memorial Stadium // August - November
If you’ve ever been to a football game at IU, you’ll know that you’re doing
it wrong. The most exciting part of the fall semester is every Saturday of a
home game. As a student, you’ll wake up early – sometimes before 6 a.m.
—and drink until 9 p.m. or until you pass out. Whichever comes first. Sure,
you can’t make it to your 8 a.m. class every Monday and Wednesday,
but maybe your Intro to Finite professor could increase class attendance
and participation if she offered shots of Komchatka for correct answers.
HOOSIER HYSTERIAHOOSIER HYSTERIA
Assembly Hall // October
Formerly known as Midnight Madness, this is your excuse to pretend
like you love and understand basketball. Get excited to see all those hot
basketball players. Network with alumni while in your drunken fog. Maybe
you’ll even see John Cougar Mellencamp and Meg Ryan’s lips! What’s that
short guy’s name again? Yawgi? Yeah, he’s really great. He may even carry
us to the World Series…or the super bowl — whatever that big
tournament is called.
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KIRKWOOD AVE
COLL
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WAL
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INDI
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10TH STREET
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Hoosier Guide2. HOUSE BAR
1. FARMERS MARKET
3. AVER’
S PIZZA
4. PRIVATE POOL
5. NICK’
S
6. KILROY’
S
7. DROOF
8. RUN NAKED
9. TAILGATE
10. HYSTERIA
17TH STREET
2ND STREET
HOUSE BARYou could splurge and get a $2 Upland Wheat, but why spend the extra
money when, let’s face it, you’re only at House Bar because you’re
either a.) already drunk, or b.) looking to get white girl wasted. Hipsters
and Jocks unite over the glory of Old IU and cheap beer!
Nothing says “college” like spending 16 hours in a bar. That’s right,
for the low price of 1 drink per hour, you can spend your entire day
at Kilroy’s on Kirkwood “Why would one do this,” you may be asking.
Well, you’ll be immortalized on the KOK Wall of Shame…er…Fame.
HOUSE BAR
813 N Walnut St // 7 p.m. - 3 a.m. // Cash Only
502 E Kirkwood Ave // 11 a.m. - 3 a.m.
OPEN TO CLOSE AT KILROY’
SOPEN TO CLOSE AT KILROY’
S
AVER’
S PIZZAForget Pizza X. Yes, it’s cheap, but if you’re going to gain the Freshman
15, you might as well do it the right way. Aver’s is the best pizza on the
planet. We get it, there’s all that fantastic Chicago-style pizza from your
hometown. But can you get an entire pizza, an order of breadsticks,
two drinks, AND two cookies for $11.00?
You could play beer pong at your house and spend less money,
but nothing beats the thrill of sinking a glass in a bucket of beer!
Network with alumni and fellow students while you drink cheap beer,
make a mess of the bar, and get so drunk, you won’t even acknowledge,
let alone remember, the rules.
AVER’
S PIZZA
423 E Kirkwood Ave // 11 a.m. - 2 a.m.
2909 E Covenanter Dr // Delivers Until 4 a.m.
SINK THE BIZ AT NICK’
SSINK THE BIZ AT NICK’
S
PRIVATE POOLPRIVATE POOL
336 E Brownstone Dr // All Summer Long
Spend a summer in Bloomington and sneak into a private pool. Find
your favorite in town. If you’re looking for the best college pool in town,
check out Brownstone Terrace. Avoid any pool on Dunn Street. These pools
have been known as “hair pool.”
RUN NAKEDRUN NAKED
Dunn Meadow // Homecoming Week
There are three times the student recreational center is packed with girls
getting in shape. Those times are the week before spring break, the week
after New Year’s, and the week before the Nearly Naked Mile. After you run
nearly a mile while you’re nearly naked, splash in Showalter Fountain,
and take amoxiciilin, because you probably have Pneumonia.
Drinking on your roof - “Droofing” - puts a whole new meaning to high
gravity beer. If you end up in an apartment, it is essential that you
befriend someone who lives in one of the historic houses on the south
side of campus. Who cares if you actually like the person?
DROOFDROOF
Historic Homes in Bloomington // 1st and 2nd St.
Outside City Hall // April - November
No one knows local produce like Hoosiers. So what if farmers markets
in Vermont, New York, and Wisconsin are nationally ranked? The farmers
market here in Bloomington is jammed packed with Hoosiers’ favorite
food group - corn!
FARMERS MARKETFARMERS MARKET
JAMIE PHIPPSJAMIE PHIPPS