I AM FATHERED

EPHESIANS 6:1-9

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."

EPHESIANS 6:1-9

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,

EPHESIANS 6:1-9

6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,

EPHESIANS 6:1-9

8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with Him.

BIBLICAL FATHERING

The most important person in your entire life is your father.

He has more power than anyone to influence

you for good or for evil.

 What was your dad like? Did you have a good dad?

 What kind of man will raise your children?

What kind of father are you or will you be?

How will your children perceive you, speak of you, look to you, follow you?

 What is your responsibility toward your

own children?

CHILDREN

EPHESIANS 6:1-3

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."

This is the first commandment with a promise.”

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord”

FATHERS

EPHESIANS 6:4

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 You and I need to think biblically when it comes to children.

 The Bible says that children are a blessing. They’re a blessing. They’re an expensive, complicated blessing. But they’re a blessing. You kids are a blessing.

 We must not allow ungodly culture to shape our children. But let us train them in godly instruction.

 They need to meet the Lord Jesus and have their sins forgiven. They need to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

 We don’t believe that people are born in right relationship with God; we believe that they must be born again in right relationship with God.

  Children can come to know the Lord Jesus very young. They can.

 Paul tells Timothy, “You’ve known the Scriptures from infancy.” Little kids can learn a lot about Jesus.

 Little children need parents who are in the Lord, love the Lord, serve the Lord, and then represent the Lord in instructing the child. and then two words - “honor” and “obey.”

 The obedience is often outward—it’s the kid actually doing what you’re asking them to do.

 The honor is more inward.God wants inward honor and outward obedience.

MOM AND DAD NEED TO AGREE

 Mother and Father are asking and teaching the same things. The assumption is that Mom and Dad are in the Lord.

 That means they’re in Christ, they’re Christians, they’re in the Bible, they agree theologically.

 And for you who are single, don’t just marry a Christian, marry a Christian whom you agree with theologically.

 Otherwise, you’re going to have real conflict when it comes to organizing your home and raising your children

You also need to agree not just about the essentials but also the secondary matters in Ephesians 5&6:

•Gender roles•Marriage roles•Family structure

•Parenting•Who takes the primary responsibility for family leadership•Who's the primary provider•Who's the homemaker/caretaker

 If you don’t even agree, you’ll never put your life together.

 So, the assumption is that the parents are in the Lord and that they agree and that they’re teaching the same thing to the child.

LUKE 6:40

40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.

 Jesus says, “When fully trained, disciples are like their teacher.”

 Parents - are disciple-makers in your home.

EXCUSES OF CULTURE

 So, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’”

 God expects children to learn, children to honor, children to obey, and we cannot allow the excuses of culture to create exceptions to Scripture.

FATHERS BEAR PRIMARY

RESPONSIBILITY

 Moms and dads are equal, but they don’t bear equal responsibility.

 Mothers and fathers have responsibility for the well-being of the children, but fathers bear primary responsibility.

Fathers, are you a good dad?

Are you a bad dad?

Are you taking responsibility for your family?

Are you abdicating responsibility for your family?

Would your children consider you a blessing or a burden?

Is your wife glad to have you, or is she grieved to have you?

Who will your sons marry? Will your sons marry?

Will your daughters marry? Who will your daughters marry?

Are you abdicating responsibility for your family?

Do you want your daughters to marry men like you?

Do you want your sons to become men like you?

PROVOKING YOUR CHILDREN

TO ANGER

 “Fathers.” “Do not provoke your children to anger,” And Bring them up in the discipline and instruction and the paideia of the Lord.”

 “Fathers.” “Do not provoke your children to anger,” And Bring them up in the discipline and instruction and the paideia of the Lord.”

 “Do not provoke.”

How does a father provoke his children?

DEPOSIT AND WITHDRAWALS

 Think of it like a bank account. Encouragement is a deposit;

Criticism is a withdrawal.

 One of the ways you provoke your children to anger is you make far more withdrawals than you do deposits.

 A lot of your time with your children should be encouraging. Lots and lots and lots of encouragement.

 “You did your best; I appreciate that. I know this is hard; I’m praying for you. You are a blessing; I’m glad to have you. "

 What provokes a child to anger is when they feel like the parent is a critic and not a coach, one who is there to just point out the flaws and not to help provide some solutions.

PHYSICAL AND VERBAL

VIOLENCE

BEING EMOTIONALLY

ABSENT

PUBLIC HUMILIATION AND

CRISTICISM

  Sometimes you can provoke your children to anger by publicly humiliating them. In front of their friends, you cut them down.

 You don’t pull them aside. It doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t say anything. It doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be dealt with.

 Bring correction privately and a way to do that respectfully.

BEING NO FUN

 Kids should have memories primarily of enjoyable times with their dad. Most of our time should be enjoying our kids, laughing, making memories, getting stuff done, having fun.

NOT GENEROUS

LACKING REPENTANCE

BEING A GOOD MODEL MEANS

BEING INVOLVED

1. PRACTICING GODLINESS

Modeling

Set a godly example What this means as well, when the kids are

little, you read the Scriptures to them. Fathers, pray over your kids.

2. INTEGRATING INSTRUCTION

 Deuteronomy 6 and 11 says, when you’re sitting down with your kids, when you’re walking down the road, when you’re having dinner, integrate, teach, integrate, teach.

3. SACRED HONOR

 Create or continue a godly legacy in your family from generation to generation.

 What does this mean for those of you who are single?

 You single women, don’t even consider a man who’s not willing to take the responsibility for the well-being of the family and is unwilling to be a good father who raises his children.

 It’s better to be single than married to a man who is a failure.

 

For those of you men who are considering marrying one day and you are single, you’re not just looking for a good time but a good legacy. You’re not just looking for a wife but a mother to your children, amen?

 You want to become a father like God the Father, and you want to bless your children as the Father has blessed you.