i'm in-love with an unbeliever
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Copyright 2016. Content written by Patrick & Antonettean, oringally appeared at www.melancholeric.blogspot.
com. I you have any eedback contact us at [email protected].
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The Go-To VerseOne day, a student asked me this: What are your
thoughts about a born-again Christian having a relationship
with someone from a different faith?
Beore I got serious about my relationship with my
to-be wie, I went through the awesome season o crushes
and courtship like every young person. Growing up in
church, I was taught about one o the most popular verses
about romantic relationships: Do not be yoked together
with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). I even dare to say
that every person who grew up in a church youth groupwould know this verse. Its a verse thats so over-used and
sometimes abused that young people would ofen equate it
with the word killjoy.
As a young person, I used to admire girls or their
personality and looks but didnt care much whether they
have a personal relationship with Jesus or not. Afer all, it
seems discriminating or me not to love someone just
because their aith is different rom mine. Te younger me
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would think how overly strict the command was. I would
even play scenarios in my mind that would justiy breaking
this command. But looking in hindsight, I am thankul
that by Gods grace He led me to know and marry someone
who also loves God. And so, I stand by the counsel o Gods
Word in 2 Corinthians 6:14.
So whats the deal about 2 Corinthians 6:14 anyway?
But looking in hindsight,I am thankful that byGods grace He led me toknow and marry someone
who also loves God.
As young people, we ofen gloss through instructions
that begin with do not because we think it automatically
takes the un out o lie. Its
like were already
programmed to skip
sentences that begin with
do not.
Moreover, our leaders
are sometimes guilty o justlaying out the do nots without giving our young people
the whys. odays generation wouldnt just take your
instructions at ace value, they need to understand why that
instruction is relevant to their lives.
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So this is 2 Corinthians 6:14 in context:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For whatdo righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or
what fellowship can light have with darkness? What
harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what
does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
What agreement is there between the temple of Godand idols? For we are the temple of the living God ... (2
Corinthians 6:14-16)
When you read this, you will discover that the apostle
Paul is not exclusively writing about romantic relationships
but about a Christ-ollowers relationship to others. And
interestingly, Paul compared human relationships with that
o arm animals.
A yoke is a arming tool that is a long bar made o wood.
It is astened over two beasts o burden (horses or bulls)that pulls the plow together. So i two animals are astened
together by a yoke, they dont have a choice but to go on a
same direction. I one decides to take one direction while
the other takes the opposite, it will hurt both animals and
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ruin the field. Tey would accomplish nothing. Ultimately,
one will succumb the other to go to their direction.
Similarly, a boy and a girl going on different directions
when yoked together (i.e, pursuing a romantic relationship)
would be a tensioned, destructive and unproductive
relationship. Am I exaggerating? No, because its all about
values.
Its all about valuesWhat are values? Google defines it as a persons
principles or standards o behavior; ones judgment o whatis important in lie. It can be synonymous with ethics,
moral code, standards, and code o behavior. Organizations
and companies use it and they call it their core values.
Values are a set o principles a person or an organization
lives their lie by. Every person lives by a set o values,
regardless whether they are aware o it, or not. But most o
the time, most o us are not aware o it. We are molded to it
growing up as we see it in our amily and the environment
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around us. For example, i you value time, you strive to be
punctual all the time. I you value amily, you consider your
amily in every decision you make. I you value integrity,
you strive to do everything without deceit.
Values determine yourpriorities. Prioritiesdetermines your habits.Habits determine yourlifestyle. Lifestyle
determines your future.
As you can see a persons values are quite powerul.
Values determine your
priorities. Prioritiesdetermines your habits.
Habits determine your
liestyle. Liestyle
determines your uture.
Values are like seeds living
inside o you. You may not
see it immediately, but or
sure it will grow out o your lie.
So what are your values? And what do you value as
a ollower o Christ? A ollower o Christ would valueaithulness to His Master. Christ-centeredness is a value.
I we would predict how that value affect a persons uture,
we would be able to determine what kind o lie they would
have. For example, a Christ-ollowers relationship with God
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will be committed and aithul. A Christ-ollowers career
would be excellent and honest.
If I have to choosebetween certain
relationships and thefulfillment of my purposefor God, Id readilychoose the latter.
How would a Christ-ollowers uture look like in the
realm o courtship and
marriage? A Christ-ollower
will not just live his lie or
the now. He lives knowingthat everything he does has
uture implications. A
Christ-ollower has a
purpose and a calling rom
God. You have a purpose
and calling rom God. And i I have to choose between
certain relationships and the ulfillment o my purpose or
God, Id readily choose the latter. A persons direction
determines his destiny.
So going back to Paul, he throws in a rhetorical questionafer his command,
...what do righteousness and wickedness have
in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
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darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and
Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an
unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple
of God and idols?
Imagine yoking yoursel with a person who doesnt
have aithulness to Christ as a major lie value. It doesnt
matter how religiously good and pious one may seem to be.Without Christ in that persons lie (without acknowledging
their need or Christ as Savior), you and that persons lives
are going on two opposite directions, here and beyond.
How do I know this? Because values turn into priorities,
priorities into habits, habits into liestyle. Again, its all
about values.
Tink about it, i Christ is everything to you, then you
wouldnt have anything in common with a person o
interest who has not made a decision to ollow Christ. I
have seen many hearts swayed away rom the aith tryingto win them to Christ while at the same time trying to win
their hearts. In other words, doing evange-ligawis not
really wise. I didnt say do not win them to Christ, all people
need Jesus, but do it with the right and godly motives.
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Paul goes on to say that we are the temple o the living
God. Gods temple is sacred, and it must be honored and
kept clean. You are Gods temple, dont do anything that will
compromise your relationship with God.
So with that, let me conclude:
I you are a student, your task in this season is to honor
God and your parents by studying hard.I you are old
enough, then go to the next one.
Make friends.Friendships are the best platorm to
find the one. Tey are the best launching pad or godly
relationships. By first making riends you are able toknow what a person is like, and they are able to know
you as you, no-filter. In dealing with other people, as
ollowers o Christ we relate with compassion, love, and the
transorming power o the gospel.
Its a values issue.Know what values you hold dear in
your lie, not just a human being, but as a ollower o Christ.
Set them as a standard or making decisions about romantic
pursuits (at the right time).
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My prayer is that you will have a clarity o purpose and
values so that you will be able to make wise lie decisions
and honor God with them.
Reflection Questions1. Have you thought about the things that are
important in your lie? I you are to list down yourtop 5 what would they be?
2. I you are to order them rom highest to lowest
priority, what comes out on top? Does your answer
reflect the amount o time and effort you investon it?
3. I habits determine your destiny, what are the
negative habits that I should let go?
4. What non-negotiable traits are you looking or in agodly partner? Are you going to commit to wait or
the right time when God makes both o you ready?
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About the AuthorPatrick & Antonette an are
a husband and wie team rom
Makati City, Philippines.
Patrick graduated B.S.
Architecture at University oSanto omas in 2004. Afer that
he went to Asian Seminary o
Christian Ministries where he
finished Master o Divinity in
2011. He served as a youth pastor
or six years. oday he leads Chi Alpha Philppines, the nationa campusministry o the Philippines General Council o the Assemblies o God.
Antonette graduated B.S. Dentistry at the Centro Escolar University
in 2004 and is a licensed dentist. She runs her dental clinic in
Makati City.
Both passionate to seek Gods will in their lives, Patrick and
Antonette met each other at a young adult conerence in 2006. And
the rest, they say, is history. Tey got married in 2010 and today they
continue to serve God through youth and campus ministry where they
speak to young people about their finding their true purpose in Christ.
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