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Lesson 12 - Communication

Robert Wonser

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Effective Communication

The process of exchanging informationusing verbal and non-verbal messages in away so that the intended message isreceived

Productive communication enhances the emotional closeness and strengthens the relationship

Non-productive communication increases the emotional distance

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Content and Process of Communication

The content of the communication is what the message is.ExpectationsNeedsWants

The process is how it is conveyed

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Process

Verbal words

Nonverbal the way in which people communicate, intentionally or unintentionally,

without words facial expressions tone of voice non-verbal vocalizations gestures body position and movement touch gaze and eye contact personal space

Actions Positive Negative

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Charles DarwinUniversal Emotions

AngerHappinessSurpriseFearDisgustSadness

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Encode Encode express or emit nonverbal behaviorexpress or emit nonverbal behavior

DecodeDecodeinterpret the meaning of the nonverbal interpret the meaning of the nonverbal

behavior of othersbehavior of others

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Barriers to Communication

Physical and environmentalSituationalCulturalGenderPsychological

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To Improve Communication

Motivation and concernMotivation and concernSelf-disclosureSelf-disclosureClarityClarityListen/ask for and provide feedbackListen/ask for and provide feedbackAvoid distractionsAvoid distractions

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BEDRESTAWAKETIRED

DREAMAWAKENIGHTEAT

COMFORTSOUNDSLUMBERSNORE

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Write down all the words you can remember

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What does power mean to you?

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PowerPower

ability to meet one’s needsability to influence a partner to get what one wants

power differentials in intimate relationships=problems

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Power

Everything, including relationships and communication can be boiled down to power.

principle of least interest simply states that the partner who is least interested has the most power.

Why might this be so?

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Who typically has the power?

those who have the least interest in the relationship

those who gain the least from the relationship

those who have invested the leastthose who have the most resourceswomen with more education

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What theory could we use for studying the distribution of power in a family?

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Arguments

non-directional arguments, because the underlying issue is not being dealt with in the argument itself

Directional arguments have a goal or a purpose and usually approach the issue that led to the argument in the first place.

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Getting to the Core of the Problem: The Roots

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How to Have a Healthy Argument: The Win-Win Model

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Marital Entropy

Marital Entropy is the principle that if a marriage does not receive preventive maintenance and upgrades it will move towards decay and break down.

What then can be done to prevent it?

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Inhibitions to Open Communication and Trust

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Non-Verbal Communication

What role does non-verbal communicationNon-verbal communication includes touch, gestures, facial expression, eye contact, distance, and overall body positioning

What does out non-verbal communication say about us?

Gender and communication?

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Types of Nonverbal Communication

Paralanguage All the vocal aspects of speech other than words.

Body languageThe silent movement of body parts.

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Types of Nonverbal Communication

Interpersonal spacing cuesPositioning ourselves at varying distances and angles from others.

Personal effectsWhat a person wears that communicates information about that person.

In addition to the approximate 250,000 different facial expressions that humans can make, nonverbal communication uses many other bodily and gestural cues.

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President Bush’s 2005 Inauguration

President Bush did not know that:

In Mediterranean cultures, this gesture implies that a man has an unfaithful wife.

In parts of Africa it is used to impose a curse on another person.

Can you think of a time when you unintentionally communicated something?

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Are Men from Mars and Women from Venus?