moving away from guided writing

Moving away from guided writing

Presenters: SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM )Ms Cynthia LEE & Ms Louisa CHIANGTel: 2546-2624

19 November 2005

Collaborative lesson preparation (English) in Collaborative lesson preparation (English) in SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM)SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM)

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My name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy.

My name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy.

Ealsa’s 1st piece of individual written work (12 October 04)

My name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly.


Ealsa’s 2nd piece of individual written work (19 November 04)

I am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful.

I am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful.

Ealsa’s written work (28 November 04)

Ealsa: 28 Oct 04

My Toy friendMy name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy.

Ealsa: 28 Oct 04

My Toy friendMy name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy.

Ealsa: 19 Nov 04

Writing about a monsterMy name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly.

Ealsa: 19 Nov 04

Writing about a monsterMy name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly.

Ealsa: 28 Nov 04

Writing about a clownI am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful.

Ealsa: 28 Nov 04

Writing about a clownI am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful.

Ealsa’s progress

• Some variation in sentence structures

• Use of connectives

• Providing more details to enrich the contents

• Use of pronouns

Ealsa’s written work (10 March 05)

A day in the park Today is Sunday. I go to the park with my family. I can see a swing, a seesaw, trees, flowers, a slide, birds and a fountain. There are swing, seesaw and a slide in the playground. The five flowers are near the tree. The fountain is in the centre of the park. The flowers are beautiful. The grass is green. The trees are big and tall. My father is reading a book. My mother is fishing. My brother is sleeping. My sister is jumping. My grandfather is eating. My grandmother is drinking. I am running. The birds are singing. The dogs are playing. I like this park. This park is very beautiful. The park is clean. I am happy. I am very like this picnic.


My petI have a pet. It is a cat. Her name is May. May is shy, soft and obedient. She is big. She is yellow. She has got a small nose. She has got a big mouth. She has got six whiskers. She has got four legs. She can run. She can jump, climb, eat, sleep and drink. She can’t swim, play, read and write. She is lovely and clean. Her friend is dogs and ribbits. She is beautiful. I am very like my cat. But father doesn’t like my cat. I have this pet. I am very happy.


My petI have a pet. It is a cat. Her name is May. May is shy, soft and obedient. She is big. She is yellow. She has got a small nose. She has got a big mouth. She has got six whiskers. She has got four legs. She can run. She can jump, climb, eat, sleep and drink. She can’t swim, play, read and write. She is lovely and clean. Her friend is dogs and ribbits. She is beautiful. I am very like my cat. But father doesn’t like my cat. I have this pet. I am very happy.

Ealsa’s written work (30 April 05)

MyselfMy name is Ealsa. I am a girl. I am eight years old. I am yound. I am thin. I am tall. My hair is long. It is black. My eyes are big. They are black. My ears are small. My nose are small. I am clean. I am brave. I am polite. I am obedient. I am hard working. I like books. I don’t like comics. I like to eat hamburgers. I don’t like to eat fishes. I like dolls. I don’t like robots. I like reading. I don’t like jumping. I like cats. I don’t like dogs. I live in Hong Kong. I live with my family. When I grow up, I want to be a teacher. I am a happy girl.

Ealsa’s written work (30 April 05)

MyselfMy name is Ealsa. I am a girl. I am eight years old. I am yound. I am thin. I am tall. My hair is long. It is black. My eyes are big. They are black. My ears are small. My nose are small. I am clean. I am brave. I am polite. I am obedient. I am hard working. I like books. I don’t like comics. I like to eat hamburgers. I don’t like to eat fishes. I like dolls. I don’t like robots. I like reading. I don’t like jumping. I like cats. I don’t like dogs. I live in Hong Kong. I live with my family. When I grow up, I want to be a teacher. I am a happy girl.

Myself

1.Name

2.Sex (boy/girl)

3.Age a.How old

b.old/young

6.Like/Dislike

a.food/drink

I like to eat…

b.toys

I like robots.

c.ativities

I like reading.

d.pets

I like cats.

7.Where do you live?

a.I live in…

b.I live with…

4.Appearance

a.fat/thin

b.tall/short

c.hair(colour/long/short)

d.eyes(colour/big/small)

e.ears

f.mouth

g.nose

h.clean/dirty 8.When you grow up,

what do you want to be?

When I grow up , I

want to be a ….

5.Attitude

a.shy/brave

b.polite/rude

c.obedient/naughty

d.hard working/lazy 9.How do you feel?

I am a happy boy/girl.

Ealsa’s written work (12 May 05)

My DayI get up at six thirty in the morning.I brush my teeth at six forty-five in the morning.I have breakfast at six fifty in the morning.I go to school at seven fifteen in the morning.I have lessons at eight o’clock in the morning.I finish school at twelve forty at noon.I have lunch at one o’clock in the afternoon.I do homework at one thirty in the afternoon.I read books at four o’clock in the afternoon.I have buth at five o’clock in the evening.I have dinner at seven o’clock in the evening.I watch TV at eight o’clock at night.I bath at six o’clock in the evening.I go to bed at nine thirty at night.

Ealsa’s written work (12 May 05)

My DayI get up at six thirty in the morning.I brush my teeth at six forty-five in the morning.I have breakfast at six fifty in the morning.I go to school at seven fifteen in the morning.I have lessons at eight o’clock in the morning.I finish school at twelve forty at noon.I have lunch at one o’clock in the afternoon.I do homework at one thirty in the afternoon.I read books at four o’clock in the afternoon.I have buth at five o’clock in the evening.I have dinner at seven o’clock in the evening.I watch TV at eight o’clock at night.I bath at six o’clock in the evening.I go to bed at nine thirty at night.

Ealsa’s written work: 2 June 05

Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing

Activating previous knowledge

Connecting previous knowledge

with new learning

Modelling writing skills

Encouraging activeuse of vocabulary

Maximizing the input for students

Modelling skills but not merely contents

or formats

More risk-taking withthe students

Shared writing: Tim the crazy lion

1. Developing the story map

2. Writing the story

3. Writing the ending

Group writing

Peer correction (group work)

Expanding the sentences in the 2nd draft (individual work)

Final writing product (individual work)

1st draft (group work)

• Peer correction ~ students check and find out errors in groups.

• Teacher copies the original writing (group work) to each student.

• Each student edits the work by adding more information and ideas.

From peer correction to self-editing

The final product:Each student writes his/her own essay after peer correction and expanding his/her ideas through self editing.



Individual written work

Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing (Post-exam activity)

1

2

3

Maximizing the input for students

Modelling skills but not merely contents

or formats

More risk-taking withthe students

Concept map

4

5

Vivian

At the fancy dress partyToday, we have a fancy dress party in the school hall. We are very excited.I want to be a dancer. I have got long brown and black hair. I am tall and thin. I have got a crown. My dress is pink and yellow. I can sing and dance. I like eat cakes and grapes. I like to drink pear juice and grapes juice.Lucy want to be a dancer. She has got long green hair. She is short and thin. She has got a ball. Her shirt is orange. She can jump and play the ball. She like to eat pear and biscuits. She like to drink apple juice and cake. Jane want to be a drcider (designer). She has got long orange hair. She is short and thin. She has got a picture. Her trousers are yellow. She can paint a picture and sing. She like to eat sweets, lemon and grapes. She like to drink coke, pear juice and lemon juice.We play games, eat candies and take photos. We are very happy.

Vivian

At the fancy dress partyToday, we have a fancy dress party in the school hall. We are very excited.I want to be a dancer. I have got long brown and black hair. I am tall and thin. I have got a crown. My dress is pink and yellow. I can sing and dance. I like eat cakes and grapes. I like to drink pear juice and grapes juice.Lucy want to be a dancer. She has got long green hair. She is short and thin. She has got a ball. Her shirt is orange. She can jump and play the ball. She like to eat pear and biscuits. She like to drink apple juice and cake. Jane want to be a drcider (designer). She has got long orange hair. She is short and thin. She has got a picture. Her trousers are yellow. She can paint a picture and sing. She like to eat sweets, lemon and grapes. She like to drink coke, pear juice and lemon juice.We play games, eat candies and take photos. We are very happy.

6

Learning wall

Referring to the learning wall during group discussion

Referring to the learning wall during individual writing

Word bank

Discussion among students

The story map

The taste of a computer

How to describe Tim the lion

Students had discussion on the following:

What the lion ate for the rest of the week

The ending of the story

What “practical wisdom” have we gained to enhance students’ writing skills?

• Freeing ourselves from language forms before freeing the students

• Modelling skills but not merely contents and formats

• Maximizing the input for the students when shifting the focus from language forms to expression of ideas

• Promoting student learning through school-based curriculum development but “class-based” adaptation

moving away from guided writing

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