Personal Personal StatementsStatements

Writing Winning PapersWriting Winning Papers

What’s it about?What’s it about?

• It’s always all about you!It’s always all about you!

• So make your experiences work for you.So make your experiences work for you.

• Make your story memorable.Make your story memorable.

• Make it come alive to that anonymous Make it come alive to that anonymous reader.reader.

• Let him see your past, present, and Let him see your past, present, and future.future.

You Need Two You Need Two Types of Essay Types of Essay

• A general personal A general personal statement about statement about your background your background and your goals.and your goals.

• An essay about a An essay about a topic that is topic that is important or important or interesting to you-- interesting to you-- your inspirations, your inspirations, your greatest value, your greatest value, your consuming your consuming interest.interest.

General Personal General Personal StatementStatement

This encompasses past, present, & This encompasses past, present, & future.future.

• Background, which has made youBackground, which has made you

• Who you are now, leading toWho you are now, leading to

• Who and what you hope to becomeWho and what you hope to become

Readers want to Readers want to knowknow

• That you are resilient, i.e. you can face That you are resilient, i.e. you can face difficulty and overcome obstacles to difficulty and overcome obstacles to successsuccess

• That you are able to adapt to new That you are able to adapt to new environments and challengesenvironments and challenges

• That you are disciplined, yet curiousThat you are disciplined, yet curious

• That you want to give back in some That you want to give back in some wayway

OrganizingOrganizing

• Background Background 40%40%

• You right now: You right now:

school, grades, awards, etc.school, grades, awards, etc. 20%20%

• The future: goals, dreams, The future: goals, dreams,

plans, etc.plans, etc. 40%40%

First StepsFirst Steps

Write a compelling beginningWrite a compelling beginning

• Use a powerful quotation that means Use a powerful quotation that means something to yousomething to you

• Or reflect on a difficulty you face or an Or reflect on a difficulty you face or an idea you find interestingidea you find interesting

• Or describe a person, an experience Or describe a person, an experience or an incident that is important to youor an incident that is important to you

A QuotationA Quotation

• Martin Luther King Jr. once said “The ultimate Martin Luther King Jr. once said “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and inconvenience, but where moments of comfort and inconvenience, but where he stands at time of challenge and controversy.” he stands at time of challenge and controversy.” When I was a little kid, I always thought that life When I was a little kid, I always thought that life was going to be easy; however, my impression was was going to be easy; however, my impression was different as the time passed. I have faced many different as the time passed. I have faced many obstacles and challenges since I started my obstacles and challenges since I started my education. But every time they appeared in front of education. But every time they appeared in front of me, I would do my best to break them and not be me, I would do my best to break them and not be afraid of them. afraid of them.

A ChallengeA Challenge

• Growing up, I have ever walked in the shadow of Growing up, I have ever walked in the shadow of my older brother. I am a quality swimmer, but my my older brother. I am a quality swimmer, but my brother had always been better. Because of this, I brother had always been better. Because of this, I have always had to work my hardest to achieve have always had to work my hardest to achieve what came naturally to my brother. Even in what came naturally to my brother. Even in school, it seemed that he performed better than I school, it seemed that he performed better than I did. With his natural talents shining through at did. With his natural talents shining through at every turn, I decided to push myself to give my every turn, I decided to push myself to give my best and surpass him.best and surpass him.

A ReflectionA Reflection• Growing up in a Mexican household yet living in an Growing up in a Mexican household yet living in an

American world was very tough. The culture from my American world was very tough. The culture from my family has been passed down to me and it flows family has been passed down to me and it flows through my blood as it does with everyone else in my through my blood as it does with everyone else in my family. On the inside I am a full blooded Mexican, family. On the inside I am a full blooded Mexican, and I am proud to be that and wouldn't change it for and I am proud to be that and wouldn't change it for anything. But on the outside, I am a typical American anything. But on the outside, I am a typical American teen who does everything that American teens do like teen who does everything that American teens do like play football and watch television. Family is very play football and watch television. Family is very important to me because without them I don't know if important to me because without them I don't know if I would be the same person that I am today.I would be the same person that I am today.

Idea or InspirationIdea or Inspiration• A community is a group of people that have agreed to A community is a group of people that have agreed to

live in an area and share their lives. The community of live in an area and share their lives. The community of people will grow and experience things as a whole. people will grow and experience things as a whole. This will only happen for a while, because a This will only happen for a while, because a "Community cannot for long feed on itself, it can only "Community cannot for long feed on itself, it can only flourish with the coming from beyond, their unknown flourish with the coming from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brother.” Because growing means and undiscovered brother.” Because growing means that you have experienced many things in life whether that you have experienced many things in life whether they are happy or horrible moments. These they are happy or horrible moments. These experiences can only be witnessed when someone new experiences can only be witnessed when someone new enters the party, and it's not just the same old people all enters the party, and it's not just the same old people all the time. the time.

OrganizeOrganize

• Think about the most logical order for Think about the most logical order for your ideas. You can try:your ideas. You can try:

• Past, present, futurePast, present, future

• Present, past, futurePresent, past, future

• Future, past, present, future again.Future, past, present, future again.

Choosing DetailsChoosing Details

• Keep the details vivid and powerful.Keep the details vivid and powerful.

• Don’t use too many words.Don’t use too many words.

• Stay within about two pages typed.Stay within about two pages typed.

• 500 to 800 words500 to 800 words

• Avoid unnecessary repetitionAvoid unnecessary repetition

• Make every word countMake every word count

Powerful wordsPowerful words

• During my early childhood, I lived in During my early childhood, I lived in Oaxaca, Mexico with my parents. Oaxaca, Mexico with my parents. While living there I learned the true While living there I learned the true meaning of poverty. It is living in a meaning of poverty. It is living in a shack made of sticks and boards with shack made of sticks and boards with dirt floors next to a field littered with dirt floors next to a field littered with trash and the bodies of dead dogs. trash and the bodies of dead dogs.

Just say it!Just say it!

Don’t overthink. Write from the heart.Don’t overthink. Write from the heart.• ““Yet many of my classmates would make Yet many of my classmates would make

fun of me and even tell me to go back to fun of me and even tell me to go back to Mexico. I was so sad during those early Mexico. I was so sad during those early days of education, but I proposed myself a days of education, but I proposed myself a new goal, and that was to give all of my new goal, and that was to give all of my effort to my education. Meanwhile, I spend effort to my education. Meanwhile, I spend my time studying much harder; as a result, I my time studying much harder; as a result, I noticed that I went even further from where noticed that I went even further from where my eyes had seen.” my eyes had seen.”

Your goals, Your goals, Your dreamsYour dreams

• This may be the most important part.This may be the most important part.

• The readers want to see:The readers want to see:That you have a clear set of goalsThat you have a clear set of goalsThat you are building your future on your That you are building your future on your

present behaviorspresent behaviorsThat you can adapt to challenges and That you can adapt to challenges and

perseverepersevere

Building on the Building on the PresentPresent

• I fight for the rights of students who are now not I fight for the rights of students who are now not able fund a higher education due to the law that able fund a higher education due to the law that passed this year, regarding undocumented students passed this year, regarding undocumented students here in Arizona to pay out of state tuition for college, here in Arizona to pay out of state tuition for college, making it impossible for a higher education on making it impossible for a higher education on students with low income families. I have recently students with low income families. I have recently worked with a group of students in Metro Tech High worked with a group of students in Metro Tech High School to win a grant to inform others of the DREAM School to win a grant to inform others of the DREAM Act, an act that will help undocumented students Act, an act that will help undocumented students have a chance to pursue a higher education. have a chance to pursue a higher education.

For the FutureFor the Future• I have been accepted to Arizona State University and I have been accepted to Arizona State University and

plan to major is in Concrete Industry Management, not plan to major is in Concrete Industry Management, not only because of personal interest, but because it will only because of personal interest, but because it will give me an opportunity to help others. By working in give me an opportunity to help others. By working in such a field, I will be able to network with major such a field, I will be able to network with major companies that can assist me in building homes for companies that can assist me in building homes for people in need. I also plan to open a center where people in need. I also plan to open a center where Hispanic families who wish to learn English can come Hispanic families who wish to learn English can come and learn how to speak and write the United States and learn how to speak and write the United States native language, in a manner where they are able to native language, in a manner where they are able to communicate with others. communicate with others.

Big DreamsBig Dreams• Make yours come alive:Make yours come alive:• ““My goal is to one day become an Accountant and in My goal is to one day become an Accountant and in

order to obtain such goal I must attend college and order to obtain such goal I must attend college and university. Unfortunately, I am a low-income person university. Unfortunately, I am a low-income person where my parents can not afford my educational career. where my parents can not afford my educational career. Therefore, I lift up my hand to ask for help, I have my Therefore, I lift up my hand to ask for help, I have my goals set. I just need the financial support. Because I goals set. I just need the financial support. Because I know that I will not let my helper down I will keep trying know that I will not let my helper down I will keep trying until I get what I want. I also know where I am heading until I get what I want. I also know where I am heading and I also know how to take advantage of all the career and I also know how to take advantage of all the career opportunities. Many laws have been approved by opportunities. Many laws have been approved by Congress so students like me don’t get to receive Congress so students like me don’t get to receive scholarships; however, I have a light of hope.”scholarships; however, I have a light of hope.”

ConcludingConcluding

• Conclusions in a personal statement Conclusions in a personal statement should be, of course, intensely should be, of course, intensely personal.personal.

• They should leave the reader thinking They should leave the reader thinking about you.about you.

• They are your last chance to impress.They are your last chance to impress.

• Finish with a bang!Finish with a bang!

Extending on the Extending on the LeadLead

In addition, Martin L. King also said, “I submit to you that if a In addition, Martin L. King also said, “I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” Perhaps Martin L. King also meant to say that live.” Perhaps Martin L. King also meant to say that challenges will never go away, but keep in mind that without challenges will never go away, but keep in mind that without the obstacles, there wouldn’t be anything to fight for in this the obstacles, there wouldn’t be anything to fight for in this life. Martin L. King fought to end segregation against African life. Martin L. King fought to end segregation against African Americans and it was a fight with no violence. Likewise, I Americans and it was a fight with no violence. Likewise, I fight for my education and career goals. I treat this country fight for my education and career goals. I treat this country as my home and I would like to be treated as a good as my home and I would like to be treated as a good example in the eyes of society. Becoming an outstanding example in the eyes of society. Becoming an outstanding and high-performing student is not easy but this nation has and high-performing student is not easy but this nation has inspired me to be what I am now.inspired me to be what I am now.

Conclude with Conclude with your big dreamyour big dream

. I hope that one day I will be able to build a structure . I hope that one day I will be able to build a structure that will be remembered by everyone. A building that that will be remembered by everyone. A building that I can go back to and proudly tell my grandchildren I can go back to and proudly tell my grandchildren that I built that. With the skills that I am learning in that I built that. With the skills that I am learning in school I hope to one day own my construction school I hope to one day own my construction company. With my bilingual skills I will be able to company. With my bilingual skills I will be able to communicate with my workers and with contractors communicate with my workers and with contractors who want me to do their building. Math and Science who want me to do their building. Math and Science are really important in this triad and I know that with are really important in this triad and I know that with the education I am receiving at school that my dream the education I am receiving at school that my dream can come true.can come true.

Connect to the Connect to the main ideamain idea

My brother’s talents have given me reasonable envy My brother’s talents have given me reasonable envy because I have always had to work harder than he because I have always had to work harder than he did. So far, I have succeeded in achieving higher did. So far, I have succeeded in achieving higher marks in nearly every class that my brother and I marks in nearly every class that my brother and I have taken. Looking back, perseverance and hard have taken. Looking back, perseverance and hard work has taken me far, but I will never stop in work has taken me far, but I will never stop in hopes of achieving the ambitions I have made and hopes of achieving the ambitions I have made and have yet to formulate. No matter what gets in my have yet to formulate. No matter what gets in my way, I will face it head-on like a rampaging bull. way, I will face it head-on like a rampaging bull. Whether it is in the pool, academic performance, or Whether it is in the pool, academic performance, or an everyday occurrence, I put myself into it 100 an everyday occurrence, I put myself into it 100 percent.percent.

Writing TipsWriting Tips

• Write a draft (or 2 or 3) of each Write a draft (or 2 or 3) of each section.section.

• Revise and edit each before Revise and edit each before combining the sectionscombining the sections

• Read it aloud to othersRead it aloud to others

• Make it perfectMake it perfect

We can’t say it We can’t say it enough!enough!

• No matter what the prompt is, it’s all about No matter what the prompt is, it’s all about you.you.

• Revise, revise, reviseRevise, revise, revise• Edit, Edit, Edit, Proofread. Make it perfect.Edit, Edit, Edit, Proofread. Make it perfect.• Always look to the promise of the future, Always look to the promise of the future,

whatever your past is.whatever your past is.• Never come across as “poor little me.”Never come across as “poor little me.”