Training Up Dragons of Life!

Powerful Parenting for World Changers

Agenda

➔Welcome

➔Review of Our Ground Rules

➔Sharing our Parenting Vision &

Values and Current Check-In

➔Encountering Our Situations

◆ How to Encounter

◆ Assessing our Listening Skills

◆ Powerful Listening & Assessing

◆ Practice Powerful Listening

◆ One Skill You Learned You Want to

Live Out?

◆ Express Listening

Sessions 2-Encountering our Situations Through Powerful

Listening

● Keep Confidentiality.

(What’s said here stays here.)

● No Judgement

● Let someone finish their thought

(don’t talk over each other)

● No Yelling. No Criticism

● Honor each other, Accept each other

● No Fixing

● No Advice unless it is asked for

● Tell only your own story

● Be listening hearts with empathy and

compassion

Course OverviewWhere There Is No Vision

Learning to Encounter by Listening

Learning to Experience by Asking

Questions

Learning to Engage by Making

Decisions

Learning to Express by Supporting

Here and Now Check-in

What’s been going on in the last month?

Five minutes to share your family

life joys and challenges in last

month

Reflect on how your ‘Family

Values’ came into play

Sharing Your Parenting

Vision

We live in conversation and in a network of conversations

What we hear + our own conversation

(filters, perspectives, judgments)

What we hear=

Cognitive Behavioral TherapyABCs

Antecedent

(something

happens)

Beliefs

(meaning we

apply)

Consequence

(feelings,

pretenses,

judgements)

Thought Distortions

Possible Thinking Errors to Examine and Dispute

2. Blaming

3. Disqualifying the positive

4. Filtering

5. Emotional reasoning

6. Fallacy of fairness

7. Fallacy of control

8. Jumping to conclusions [Mind Reading,

Fortune Telling]

9. Labeling and mislabeling

10. Magnification, minimization,

catastrophizing

11. Overgeneralization

12. Personalization

13. Should and Must statements

Encounter

The primary goal is to seek to

understand what’s going on inside

each individual and their needs in

the situation by listening.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be

consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand; to be

loved, as to love.

-St. Francis of Assisi

To enter into a situation or circumstance with no pretense

or judgment

How Well Do You Listen?

➔I allow my kid to express their complete thought without interrupting.

➔When my kid speaks to me I give them 100% of my attention by eliminating

distractions like turning the TV or radio off.

➔I maintain eye contact with my kid and lean forward to really hear them.

➔I listen for the feeling(s) behind my kid’s message.

➔I pay attention to my kid’s energy level, posture, facial expressions, and tone

as well as their words.

➔I don’t rehearse what I want to say while my kid is still talking.

Listening Double Exercise

Speaker

Speaks in soliloquy for ~5 minutes about something with some mild emotional weight

Listener

Listener sits directly in front of Speaker and stays quiet

Double

Speaks in first person, speaking as the Speaker

Echos verbatim what the speaker says

May enhance emotional content of Speaker

Parent/Child Experiential Dialogue

Roles: Parent, Parent Double, Child, Stage Manager, Audience

Parent volunteer chooses someone to play Parent Double

Parent Double doubles as in previous exercise

Parent volunteer chooses someone to act as Child

Child role plays child

Stage Manager sets the scene, instructs and intervenes as appropriate

After dialogue: de-role

Resolving Upsets Chart

Describe the Situation

Emotional Intensity

Physical Sensations Beliefs/Values Violated Conversation/QuestionsBegin End

Emotional Intensity (Begin) Rate the intensity level of the upset on a scale of 1-10. (1 minimal, 10 maximum)

Physical Sensations Describe the physical sensations that you experience in the situation.

Beliefs/Values Violated Briefly describe your personal values/beliefs that were violated in the situation.

Conversation/Questions Review the situation and determine the key points you would like to discuss in order to resolve the upset.

Engage & Express

What was one “take away” from today’s session?

What’s one concrete action you will take to live it out?

Declare it! “I will…”