raising godly children 19 jun 15
TRANSCRIPT
1
Raising Godly Children
2
Serving God As Families
My own experiencehellip
Chen Su Lan Childrenrsquos Home
Bendemeer Tuition Project
Prisons Ministry
Annual Caroling Project
Yangon Orphanage
Overseas Mission Trips
4
Caroling
2013
5
6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
2
Serving God As Families
My own experiencehellip
Chen Su Lan Childrenrsquos Home
Bendemeer Tuition Project
Prisons Ministry
Annual Caroling Project
Yangon Orphanage
Overseas Mission Trips
4
Caroling
2013
5
6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
4
Caroling
2013
5
6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
5
6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
7
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
8
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
9
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
10
Cambodia Mission Trips
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
11
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
12
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
13
Caroling Practice Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
14
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
15
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
16
A family that serves togetherhellip
a Stays together
b Parents are disciple makers
c Testimony is greater
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
17
ldquoJin Jia Hordquo Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
18
12 key lessons
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations and generations
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
GENESIS 18 18-19
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
18 Abraham will surely become agreat and powerful nation and allnations on earth will be blessedthrough him
19 For I have chosen him so that hewill direct his children and hishousehold after him to keep the wayof the Lord by doing what is right andjust so that the Lord will bring aboutfor Abraham what he has promisedhimrdquo
GENESIS 18 18-19
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
View their MOM as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
Have experienced either family devotions prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Todayrsquos Reality
Percentage of churched youth who
48
23 View their DAD as being
ldquovery religiousrdquo
27
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
experienced a family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29
Percentage of churched youth who have
28
13 talked with
DAD about faith
Todayrsquos Reality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
of todayrsquos childrenyouth who are participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith
60 -90
The ResultReality
Why = Hypocrisy
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
16 When the men got up to leave they looked down toward Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way17 Then the Lord said ldquoShall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do
20 Then the Lord said ldquoThe outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached merdquo
GENESIS 18 16-21
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
27
Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want your children to have
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
29
Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to teach
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
30
2 Corinthians 32-3
ldquoYou yourselves are our letterhellipknown and read by everybody You show that you are a letter from Christhellipwritten not with ink but with the Spirit of the living Godhelliphelliprdquo
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
31
Deuteronomy 66-7
ldquoThese commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts Impress them on your children Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get uprdquo
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
32
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
33
Sermons We SeeBY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
Id rather see a sermon than hear one any day
Id rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way
The eyes a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing but examples always clear
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
34
I soon can learn to do it if youll let me see it done
I can watch your hands in action but your tongue too
fast may run
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true
But Id rather get my lessons by observing what you do
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give
But theres no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
35
When I see a deed of kindness I am eager to be kind
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them but the one who shows the
way
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
36
One good man teaches many men believe what they
behold
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence I
say
Id rather see a sermon than to hear one any day
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Positions Held
Dy DirectorChief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director
Rehabilitation amp Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
38
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
What Are Your Expectations
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
41
Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
42
Qn Do you really love your wife
Qn Do you really love your husband
Qn Do you really love your child
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
43
No You Donrsquot
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
44
Expectations vs Love
based parenting
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
45
Parenting That Creates Fear Shame And Guilt
81
Expectations
Disappointments
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
46
How We Love
bull I expect you to make me happy and give me security andor significance
bull My dreamsideals are centered around you
bull I give you the power to make me happy or miserable
bull I expect you to live up to my created idol of a husbandwifechild
bull Because I treat you well you should become what I expect
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
bull I look to you to supply things only God can supply ie Happiness Fulfillment Significance
bull You become the centre of my life orientation
bull I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which you need to become
bull I controlmanipulate you to become my idol
bull You or I (my desires) become the center of my dreams and expectations
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
48
How God Loves
bull One-sided irrespective of return
bull No expectations or manipulation
bull He keeps on forgiving
bull Self sacrificially
bull He loves us even though we are ldquouselessrdquo
bull He gives and gives from the inside out
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
bull We will not have any selfish expectations
bull We will not try to manipulate or control
bull We will keep on forgiving
bull We will break down all idols
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
50
In Conclusion
bull The value of a person will not be determined by what we can get from them
bull The value of a person is that they give me an opportunity to love as I have been loved by Jesus
bull The more useless they are the more valuable they become
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
51
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull Our love is
bull Externally determined (you are given the power to make me unhappy)
bull Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or return it)
bull Expectations determined (you have to meet the expectations of my love)
821
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
52
Our Love vs Godrsquos Love
bull God wants to change it to the pure love of his own heart which is
bull Internally (vs eternally) sourced
bull One-directionally unconditional
bull Intentionally driven
822
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
53
Eternally Sourced Love Is PureAnd Creates No Fear
bull Dear friends let us love one another for love comes from God Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love This is how God showed his love among us He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 47-9)
bull And so we know and rely on the love God has for us God is love Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them (1 John 416)
bull It is clear God and God alone should be the source of love
83
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
54
Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based parenting
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
55
Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
56
Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want your children to remember you
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and creative ways
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
58
Exercise -
Select a child Plan a
memorable activity for himher
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
59
Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME for your children
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
60
A Father Should Be The Thermostat Of The House
bull A thermometer measures temperature a thermostat sets temperature
bull Mothers determine the emotional temperature in the house far more frequently than fathers
bull The leader is the most dominant ingredient in an emotional soup(Daniel Goleman)
bull To assume his God-given role as head of the house a father needs to become the most dominant ingredient in the emotional soup
810
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
61
Daddyrsquos Home
86
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
62
Mommy Comes First
bull How we love our childrenrsquos mother is the first and primary relationship our children observe
bull To love our wives well is the core of our childrenrsquos security
bull Children grow up in an emotional ldquosecurity complexrdquo when they know that
bull Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for worse until death do us part)
bull Dad and mom will find a way to settle their conflicts
bull Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect comfort and support each other
84
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one
because they have a good return for their labor
If either of them falls down
one can help the other up
Also if two lie down together they will keep warm
But how can one keep warm alone
Though one may be overpowered
two can defend themselves
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 9 ndash 12
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair)
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
65
ldquoTrain (start) a child in the way he
should go and when he is old he
will not turn from itrdquo
ndash Prov 226
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
66
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young If not others will
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Loving the Word
Age-appropriate Bibles
Display amp use Bibles
Bible reading plans
DevotionalStudy Bibles
(1 Peter 3 15-16) hellipAlways be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending faith)
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
The Battle for Hearts and Minds
ldquoThe [Secular] Humanistic system of values has now become the predominant way of thinking in most of the power centers of society
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in the universities in the news media in the entertainment industry in the judiciary in the federal bureaucracy in business medicine law psychology sociology in the arts in many public schools and to be sure in the halls of Congressrdquo
Dr James Dobson
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
TrueU Worldview Camp18th-22th Dec 2013Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Feedback from Adults
ldquoI learned that science is not in conflict with God
Science supports Godrsquos existencerdquo
ldquoI learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faithrdquo
ldquohellipthe big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universerdquo
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Feedback from Youths
ldquoMy faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God
Im also amazed at extent of Gods creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and uniquerdquo
ldquoThe True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faithrdquo
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
73
ldquoBut my children
still wonrsquot listenrdquo
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
74
ldquospeak the truth in loverdquo
Eph 415
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
75
Lesson 10 ndash
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
76
Exercise ndash
How is your relationship with your child
Is there something you should stop doing start doing or do more to strengthen the relationship
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
77715
The Johari Window
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
79
Forbidden Sexual Practices(Leviticus 18 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses ldquoGive the following
instructions to the people of Israel I am the Lord
your God So do not act like the people in Egypt
where you used to live or like the people of
Canaan where I am taking you You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees for I am the Lord your God If you obey
my decrees and my regulations you will find life
through them I am the Lord
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs Consequences
1
2
3
4
56
8
9
7
10
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Strength of
Family Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
Godrsquos design
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
82
Lesson 12 -
Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
83
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
84
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
85
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
86
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
87
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
88
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipI really am an expensive kid not in terms of money maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME ndash but yoursquove always been therehelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
ldquohelliphellipwhen I needed a a friend to share things with and whine to after floorball trainings
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy
a clown to cheep me up
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always
and Daddy to be my pillar of strengthhelliphelliphellip
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Letter to Dad on Fatherrsquos Day 2013(from Sarah Wong 18 years old)
Thanks for always being at my back and call I know I owe you a lot Promise Irsquoll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walkhelliprdquo
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
91
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
92
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
93
ldquoYou always assure me that itrsquos okay to be me amp that Irsquom
beautiful inside and out you teach me to spread my wings
out you help me to fly
You also see the best in people when theyrsquore not doing so
well like how you spotted the coral No one wouldrsquove
picked up the unwanted the lost souls the inmates the
gays the lesbians the poor the different the troubled ndash
you have an amazing heart daddy for God amp His
peoplehelliphellip I wanna be like that someday too
Thank you for making me who I am today I hope yoursquore
proud of your art piece (me) so far Irsquom not done yet
though Happy Fatherrsquos Day daddy Stay strong Love
you Sarah 15614
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
94
Raising Godly Children 1 Godly values affect nations and generations
2 Live the values you want to teach
3 Do not outsource parenting4 Your child is not exam marks
5 Practise love-based parenting not expectations-based
parenting
6 Decide today how you want your children to remember
you
7 Create memories in fun and creative ways
8 Provide a happy and safe home for your children
9 Teach them young If not others will
10 Rules ndash Relationship = Rebellion Rules + Relationship
= Response
11 Not just the ldquowhatrdquo but also the ldquowhyrdquo
12 Return to Godrsquos design for marriage and family
Video
Video