revision: elevating your style

REVISION: Elevating your Style

DirectionsFriends don’t let friends hand in crappy papers. So….offer constructive feedback so your classmates

may improve their work!If something is definitely incorrect, mark it in red pen.If something doesn’t seem quite right, but you have

having trouble pinpointing the exact problem, highlight it in yellow.

When you hear the magic wand, rotate paper to the right.

Ultimately, everyone is responsible for his/her own work!! But, everyone appreciates help!

Proper Heading and HeadersPROPER FIRST PAGE HEADING:First LastMrs. HoltonEnglish III-Period 20 October 2010

PROPER HEADER AFTER PAGE 1:Holton 2

If there is a header on the 1st page (Holton 1) cross it out

OVERALL MLA FORMATTINGTitle should be centered below the heading

Entire paper should be double-spaced with no extra spaces between lines. (If incorrect, SPACING)

Font should be Times New Roman 12 pt font (If incorrect, FONT)

All Paragraphs should be indented (If incorrect, INDENT)

WORKS CITEDWORKS CITED should be centered at the top of the final

page of the paper (ALL CAPS)

Minimum of 5 entries total If either Whitman or Hughes is cited, the other must be

there too.

Entries are alphabetized ( ALPHA)

Hanging Indent for all entries:Last, First. “Title of Poem.” The Language of

Literature

WORKS CITEDDouble Spaced with no extra line spaces between

entries

All titles are Capitalized

All poem titles are in “Title.” (Bradstreet/Longfellow/Whitman/Hughes)

All book titles are italicized (Equiano/Douglass/Thoreau/The Language of Literature: American Literature)

WORKS CITEDThere are PERIODS AFTER ALL SEPARATE PARTS

OF THE ENTRIES.

Last, First. “Poem.” The Language of Literature: American Literature. (entry cont…)

BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPHClaim is arguable and addresses Bradsteet’s

value(s) ( CLAIM)

Both of the titles of the poems are in “__” and are in the first sentences of the paragraph

Has textual support from both of the poems ( MISSING TEXT)

BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPHIn-text citation gives the lines numbers from the

poem

Period outside the citation

Example: (3-5).

( Correct Citation).

BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPHThe writer’s own words introduce the quotation Example: Bradstreet writes, “___” (5-6).( QUOTE INTRO)

Quotation from the text is appropriate for the claim ( BETTER QUOTE)

Commentary dominates the paragraph

Commentary explains what is Bradstreet’s primary value AND why ( COMMENTARY)

BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPHCircle any of the following if they are not in a

quotation from the text:

Contractions (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)

Circle any first or second person (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)

Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPHTransition sentence helps move from Bradstreet to

claim of this value in the real world today

Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of value(s) ( CLAIM)

Has real life support with concrete descriptions and specific examples ( CONCRETE SUPPORT)

Has at least two examples for support ( ++)

REFLECTION value PARAGRAPHIf any outside source is referenced, there needs to

be a proper in-text citation AND an entry in the WORKS CITED page.

(If either of these is missing, ( CITE!)


Commentary explains WHY the claim about the value in today’s world is true

( COMMENTARY)

REFLECTION value PARAGRAPHCircle any of the following if they are not in a





SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH

Claim is arguable and addresses HOW Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom ( CLAIM)

Both of the titles of the books are in Italics and are in the first sentences of the paragraph

( TITLES)

Has textual support from both of the poems ( MISSING TEXT)

SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPHAddresses HOW (imagery, appeals to pathos, etc)

Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom ( LITERARY TERM)

In-text citation gives the page numbers from the book


Example: (565).


SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPHThe writer’s own words introduce the quotation Example: Douglass writes, “___” (565).( QUOTE INTRO)



Commentary explains HOW Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom( COMMENTARY)

Paragraph is Organized with all of Equiano together and all of Douglass together ( ORGANIZE)

SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH

Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:




REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPHTransition sentence helps move from Equiano/Douglass

to claim of the value of freedom in the real world today

Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of freedom ( CLAIM)



REFLECTION value PARAGRAPHIf any outside source is references, there needs to




Commentary explains WHY the claim about freedom in today’s world is true

( COMMENTARY)

CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPH

Claim is arguable and addresses the value of ( CLAIM)

Books and “Poems” are in the first sentences of the paragraph

( TITLES)

Has textual support from any of the works ( MISSING TEXT)


In-text citation gives the page numbers from the book or line numbers from the poem


Example: (388). (41-44).


CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPHThe writer’s own words introduce the quotation Example: Author writes, “___” (380).( QUOTE INTRO)



Commentary clearly supports the claim about the value ( COMMENTARY)

If did Whitman/Hughes, organized by author ( ORGANIZE)


Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:




REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPHTransition sentence helps move from literature to

claim of the value in the real world today

Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of the value ( CLAIM)



REFLECTION value PARAGRAPHIf any outside source is references, there needs to




Commentary explains WHY the claim about value in today’s world is true

( COMMENTARY)

Read the whole darn thing•List an areas where you are having

trouble understanding or you find confusing

revision: elevating your style

Documents

paragraph commentary

page heading

poem titles

bradstreet writes

claim better quote commentary

page holton

entries total

citation example