silence is the lamb
DESCRIPTION
Silence is the Lamb. Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Incest. One in Four Girls. I’ve been hiding and afraid for a long time Trying to keep dark secrets that torture my mind My voice was silenced, my mouth could not speak I had dark secrets I promised myself to keep. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
SILENCE IS THE LAMBAdult Survivors of Childhood
Sexual Abuse and Incest
I’ve been hiding and afraid for a long timeTrying to keep dark secrets that torture my mindMy voice was silenced, my mouth could not speakI had dark secrets I promised myself to keep
I couldn’t risk taking the blame
I couldn’t risk exposing the shame
So I just accepted and played a deadly game
Of make-believe and masquerade
A lost shadow hidden by cold shade
One in Four Girls
Most Survivors Live in Silence
There’s no reason for everyone to feel sad …so with my mouth shut wide I hid all of those secrets deep down inside
The Silent Toll
Healing
Training Support System
“I don’t know what to do for you” – survivor becomes the teacher
I can’t stand to see you hurt – survivor becomes the caregiver
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a
sound?
ABSOLUTELY
NOT
Silent Words Suggest or imply
blame
Minimize survivor’s pain or the experience
Direct survivor away from the pain or experience
But within I feel victimized once more
The demand for secrecy hurts me to the core
The Pain is in the Silence
They can’t see my stomach in a knotMy body remembers what my mind forgot
Seizures, arthritis, fibroids and fainting spellsMy body speaks what my mouth can’t tell
Running long miles and lifting heavy weightMy body also tries to compensate
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Survivors are silent about the pain they experienced, the shame they felt, the control that was taken away from them, and the boundaries that were crossed.
Surviving the Silence• Survivors may engage in behaviors that
protect them against the pain of their silence. Consciously or unconsciously, they may use certain behaviors:– To Punish Themselves – To Feel Alive– To Compensate– To Hide– To Cry Out
Silence is not a Quiet Space
I never forgot and I never forgaveI just kept waiting to be saved
Waiting for someone to truly understandWaiting for someone to choose me over a manWaiting for someone to help me speakWaiting for someone to notice I was weakWaiting for someone to catch me when I fallWaiting for someone to help me stand tallWaiting for someone to notice the child is still aliveWaiting for someone to help her survive
Even as I age and my beauty starts to fadeI still found myself waiting to be savedBut I remained a damsel in distressMy abuse would forever go unaddressed
Silence Doesn’t Last ForeverTill a volcano erupted and I got caught in the fireThat made me realize that silence is nothing to admireThe singe of the fire forced me to screamLoud enough to wake from this very bad dream
Disclosure will help my soul to restoreEveryday I love myself more and moreThe night is over, I can see dayI walk and talk in truth’s wayToday anger fuels my recoveryBut that’s all just part of my discoveryOf the wounded child who is finally set freeWho just learned to speak and she can finally see
Help A Survivor
Break Her or His
Silence
Create Safe Space DOS DON’TS
Invite person to talk about abuse
Express empathy about the survivor’s experience
Ask details about how the survivor feels and what she needs
Take action to find out information about adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse
Demand the person to talk about the abuse
Overshadow survivor’s feelings with your own feelings about the abuse
Ask details about the abuse
Make the survivor responsible for teaching you about childhood sexual abuse.
Words of Safety
I’m sorry that happened to you
I will be here for you and hear what ever you need to say, even if it’s nothing.
Thank you for trusting me to tell me that. I imagine talking about it is difficult
You are amazing for surviving
I can’t imagine how bad that felt, but I do know how much I love you
Caboose
You are only the caboose
Freight trains carry heavy loads
So they tend to move along slowly
The Survivor must direct their own course of recovery
Frequent Stops
Allow Survivor to Explore and Express
FEARSHAME
GUILT
ANGER
Recovery
IS NOT A DESTINATION
Recovery
IS
A
JOURNEY
IS
A
JOURNEY
PRESENTATION BY ROSENNA BAKARI,
PH.D.Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse and
Incest