social lies

8/14/2019 social lies

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social lies

Written by

matthew kropp



Sunday

I saw the place I used to call home

Only it didn’t feel the same as it did.

Maybe because I don’t look the same.

Maybe because I don’t act the same.

Maybe because things change

Whether we want them to or not.

I wouldn’t have moved if I would have known

The lost I am feeling when I had split.

Maybe I wouldn’t have came.

Maybe I shouldn’t have came.

Some things never change

Whether we sit back and just watch.

I want to go back.

Not to the past.

I want to go back

Moving forward

Into the future.

I will. One day.



2.

All Natural

Sweet.Anger.Displace hate and empathy.Soft spoken.

Tongue tied with barbed wire.Beautiful brown eyesSpeaking as loud as can be.Together.Changes this misguidedHeart.Overwhelms me with thoughts ofHeaven.Troublemaker behavior boils.Love blossoms on our behalf.To be Whole.All in the comfort of thisBIG BED.

Two heads.With sweet dreams forever.



3.

Questionnaire

This is my life.However I think it to be.The perfect palace placed heavenly in palm springsOr the pitiful pitfall of a pathetic place that

practically isn’t a place but just a porch.

A Porsche. Today.Or Pontiac. Or Almanac.

Alumni SmartOr average student. Or Stupid.

Bliss exists in my fingertips.It’s just putting my finger on it, which is the problem.



4.

College

Waste of timeWaiting...waiting.Waste of energy.Waiting...waiting.

Waste of spirit.Waiting...waiting.Waste of soul.Waiting...waiting.Waste of brain cells.Waiting...waiting.Wasted.“Hello?”“Hello. This is your wake up call.”



5.

Paragraph

Ever feel like the “bad”, and by bad I mean not good,things will continue to come even if you want them tostop and when you think, they will, they keep going andgoing and going and going and going, keeping you at the

distance where you no longer want to go on.



6.

Drink

Thirsty? Why botherDrinking fromThe waterFountain? There

Are plenty ofVending machinesTo spend yourMoney on.Shit, they evenHave water.“Bottled water isPure.”How can you beSo sure?“Because it’sManufactured.”As we are.



7.

Blank

Empty arenasWhere gladiatorsFought.

Beaten, bloody,Bludgeoned.To DeathAnd fedTo lionsPrincess, yourHighnessMindless brutalityThat todayWe can notFathom to seeAnd when weDo, dear god,

If i may use god in a politically correct wayAs an expression,We are censored.



8.

Potty Mouth

When do all these thoughtsRun out like a dripping faucet?Or I should say, how doesThe sink stay so clean when

My thoughts are so dirty?Food for thought 8 10With a silver spoon.

Do you remember to remember?

Because you forgot to take outThe trash talk. Everything youThink of is garbage. AndBasically you are a waste, allYour ideas are rubbish.

Clean yourself up. Lather on

your thick skin. Shower ingreatness. Today you’re a newman.

Rinse. Repeat.



9.

Our Song

These spiders underneath my skinSend chills downwind. II am shell shocked deep, deep within.

Bow to kings inside their palaceDrink there lies with wine.Spit blood back into their chalice

For I am dramatizedRubbish filled with erratic quotesAnd all of my clothesSmell of burningTobac-ac-o.Hazelnut night skiesUnderlies my lunacyCircular smokeDetermines where the moon will be.

I’m rebellious, aRisky dosage of a stereotypeTransparent to lifeA guilty verdictVerbally worthlessOutlaw to an impatient audience.

Audit my tombstone slotI’m perfectly perfect.Oh no,Oh no I’m not.



10.

Money

Free.Cash onDelivery.Fee.

Pay upFront.Cashier.ChecksCashed here.ATMMachine.TensFiftiesHundredDollarDollar bills.Change.

Charge.Credit.Debit.Withdrawn.Register.Receipt.Wallet.Broke.



11.

Beach At Night

The sand is cold beneathMy feet.The sky is filled with cloudsShaping my happiness.

With the love of my lifeBy my sideThis night is completeKids play off to the sideLike we did when weWere of equivalent ageHer lips are so tenderHelping my soul feelAlive.This wine unlocks aSweet sensationWe both haven’t felt in aWhile.

Blankets stretched out,Work worries driftingOut to sea - just like theWaves that you can hearIn the distanceDarkness emergesStill...



12.

Shot Clock

:24Seconds leftBall maneuversDriving the lane

Controlling the paceI love this gameWe playMovementsTimed perfectlyJump shotJThree pointFade away.Slam dunkOrLay up?Block shot,

pushedFouledTravelingDouble dribblingUntil ICross overFree throw.

The bucket is...Good.Nothing but net.

Let’s make this money.



13.

So Fine

Filled with detail.The sun.Pouring down on me.Knowing that,

Work is putOff for anotherDay.

Embroider aSmile acrossA worriedFace.Freshly cutGrass,Eyes that lieBehindSunglasses,

Shady.

Not at all.Happy to be here.



14.

Visual AIDS

No red ribbon please, to cover my retinasM-T cell disease, just shoot me the messengersThe rest live under my skin, all set to winI claw at my complexion till it's none reflective

See the doctor just left, HIV stunk breathTrust gets you fucked, now i'm fucked, yes.Success, lungs, flesh, tongue, chest..all done, bestWhen life's spiced up like chicken cajun breastDrench in sweat, from the eventual sex, sensual kept,Our premarital event verklempt, in eyes to exceptInstead, we're dead, you're long gone, i'm on my wayText messaging god, he hasn't had service all dayI would pray, i forgot i am the sign on the crossI'm lying for sure, still i'm dying to get offI dug at my iris, optics plummet, throats weird from itTrying to see if my eyes are bigger than my stomachWhen it gets to my core, it looks around for more,

but there's no remorse, besides fucking whoresSores, develop, endure the hell of the beastMy only lasting advice, watch what you eat.



15.

Smoke Break

A cigarette can only hold so much truthWhy is this so comfortable to me?Watching water pedal its way into the floor.Maybe its all i know.

Maybe its all i’ve become.A garage sitting beer drinking cigarette smoking guy wghogrinds day in and day out with a smile on his facebecause he puts out.



16.

Friday

Rain poursWhile i’m in doors.The knowledge we hold,Je tu adore

The notes from classQuestionsI never bothered to askAttack my soulI’m too weak to grab.At las an atlasPointing me towardWhat THAT hasThat being theBeings THAT haveNow meSitting lonesomeThinking why grown ups

Own sons.



17.

Vegas

Prostitute scapegoatCaught in the midst.Apparently i forgotHow to get myself out of this.

Forgotten rulesMisguided foolsTrying to run a programWithout the disc.

Deja vuIn TimbuktuOnly realer.Drug counterDealers.

Money neededIn this revenge.

A circle that is a circleNever ends.



18.

In the dark

In the darkMosquito bitesAre the onlyRemembrance

Of this night

The significanceBuried in theGravel that onceWere.

My memories fadeLike the sunBehind the houseTill i can noLonger see.

This is all i knowFor sure.For certain.This is all i canCount on.



19.

Snakes

Time flies suddenly.Mind wired underneath.The serpent ringsThe call was lost.

The voicemail was left.My text was never opened.I feel out of the loopFor the better part of the day.It’s getting late.I cannot speak.It’s time to disappearUnder the sheetFrom which your lies pierce.



20.

Action!

Only a block around from the actionI seen this all beforeBut never saw it happened.You were right beside me then.

EnlightenedBut not the brightest lens.Despite the trend i quit.Realized now we were never fully equipped.Fooled with tricksI am rather new to thisThis thing called love.That I’m showered in from above.



21.

Rainy

The heaven’s paint themselvesBlack.Water funnels itself alongSidewalks.

Tomorrow this will all change....this will all be gone.The sky cracks and boomsBolts lash outWindshield wipers wipeAway today’s obstacle,Cleaning our pastClearing a pathTo see.It still rains just not asMuch...For I am merely a passing cloud.



22.

The Lonely Cigarette In The Last Pack I Hopefully Buy,For Now Because I Honestly Do Not Feel Like PurchasingAnymore For A While And I Think I Will Stick To It ThisTime Even Though I’ve Said This Before, I Quit For TwoDays, I Just Need A Break

My head hurts.



23.

Used To Be

I remember when thatGym used to be a supermarket,When that pharmacy went

By a different name,When there was a toy storeIn the corner,When the laundromat wasOwned by someone else.The gym was where thatMattress store is,Now that supermarket is huge,That pizza place was overMore and there was aReally good deli there.That clothing store hasBeen there forever.

All those franchise ownedStores were never thereBefore.But that one restaurantHas been there foreverAlong with that auto bodyShop.Although some storesDisappear, some storesWere added, some storesGot bigger...This is still home.



24.

Dead End

Planes overhead.A/C pumping inside a vehicle.A stop sign with a bent “all way” signBirds squawking

Trees soaking wetAn empty garbage can still outA car blowing a stop signScraps from a house being remodeledDark nebulous floating passedA no truck signQuiet neighborhoodA motorcycle slowsRolled up old carpetWater running down a sewer gateThis is what I knowRight now.



25.

Frozen

Frostbit fingertips,Lingering in the coldFreshly packed gingerbreadSimply singing the old

Coffee, tea, hot chocolateTreats for the soulChills, goosebumps, shiversBeyond control

I’m FrozenI’m FrozenI’m FrozenI’m Frozen

Got my jacket buttoned all the way to the topMy gloves are on, Help! I can’t open the door knobMy hats pulled down, over my head

IT’s one of those mornings, I don’t wanna get out of bedI just wanna relax, with a bowl of soupInstead I wrap this scarf around my neck, and scootThe roads spray painted white, as well as the grass allalongIt’s the same color as my long johnsAnd this slush is no match to me and my bootsMy overcoat keeps me from freezing while snow parachutes

I’m Frozen



26.

Grrrr

I don’t feel like fucking writing.Leave me alone.Leave me alone.I don’t understand why you keep bothering me.

I just want to sit in this room.ALONE.In thoughts.In concepts.In my own feces? No...at least I didn’t think I...In ideas.In conclusions.In evaluations.In determination.Where are you?



27.

The Idea of Waste

Space

I think everyone on this planet, at one time or another,



28.

had a room or a drawer, just filled with every singlething that has ever passed your hands that you never hadroom for. So it becomes crammed into that room or drawerin accordance to “wait here” until a “better spot” can befound. Now we all know, a “better spot” eventually meanson the side of the curb, but it takes months, sometimes

yes to decide on that. There is a lot that goes into whatto keep and what to throw away. Honestly, I do notrecommend either. If I did and you listened to me, youcould turn around and sue me for some priceless pictureof you and your ex-wife that has since caused youdistress after burning it along with her body.Nonetheless, old matches, razor blades, beer caps, belts,phone accessories, pens, and whatever else you havelaying around that ends up swept into the drawer, thisdraw serve as our visual garbage. Ever walk into a roomthat you could barely see the floor. The room had toomuch shit in it for one person, mainly because he or shecould not part with getting rid of that love seat or

coffee table. Get rid of it if you ask me. It probablydoesn’t match. But instead you jam it into this alreadyfilled room hoping by chance that this new piece offurniture is going to save the day for how you’re livingroom looks. Negative. Now you’ve created clutter. Clutteris to counters, rooms and desktops what shit is tocesspools. It has to happen and it has to go somewhere.What I want to bring to your attention, is using clutterto your advantage rather than haunting you, causingunnecessary anxiety and stress. If you have bills in themail, put them on top of those horrible clothingcatalogs. This way, they do not come as a surprise, youwill pay them right away (which in return will reduce

your clutter) and then you have something to look at, IFyou didn’t just pay your bills, you could buy. Now, thatend table, that you own, but did not buy or receive as apresent. The one that’s been passed through your brotherand sister from your parents from their parents. You knowthe one. The one you used to color or play cars or playBarbie’s on. It is beat and marked up. It’s gotten thirtydifferent colors of paint and still it remains. This iswhat is known as ‘sentimental value.’ This is somethingyou will be buried with. Fortunately enough for me, theonly thing of ‘sentimental value’ I own is a tuxedo. BADOOM CHA! Pictures usually hold the largest ‘sentimental

value’ and hold the littlest room to store. That’s why,male or female, the first thing people have, which is nowstealing precious gigabites off of your computer’smemory, are pictures. AND these fancy new cameras let yousave thousands about thousands of clutter. Your camera,your phone, your hard drive...cluttered. Your email iscluttered. Traffic jams, highway clutter. Plates onThanksgiving, cluttered. It surrounds us, no punintended. What if we there was nothing but essentials?Maybe we wouldn’t clutter Earth with buildings and



29.

apartments and houses and offices. Maybe we wouldn’tclutter each other as populations. Maybe we wouldn’tcreate more clutter for others to worry about how to dealwith the clutter. It’s amazing how things fall into placeand clutter, somehow manages to poke its evil clutteringass in all of our way.

Death

A change of events,A promise that wasn’t keptDidn’t save my eyesFrom becoming wetI thought this darkAnd dismal existenceWas a nightmare,Not a life I live in

Briefly spoke of legends,Then they are forgottenI became sick to my stomachMy core is now rottenOde to be rememberedFor once, instead, I stay crushedAll my hard work,So it’s easier to bring my name upTasks completed,Under my feet I retreatedBuried alive,A soul that wasn’t neededI composed these last words

As my only deedAnd now I am knownAs a compost heap



30.

December

A flurry of snowflakes fallWorked late and I want to get homeAt a red light, no cars are movingI’m in the left turning lane

The light changesA truck comes barrelingI slam the brakesHe slams the brakesTires slide over iceThe truck t-bones my sideThe passenger door touches meIt’s still snowingNothing can stop things from happening.

Not even me.

social lies

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