styles of communication€¦ · styles of communication susan wilson and sandhya rajagopal page 3...

2015

Susan C Wilson

Coaching and Consulting

and

Sandhya Rajagopal

Coaching With Sandhya

6/16/2015

Styles of Communication


Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal

Common Characteristics of Visual Style

See things as pictures

Memorize by creating visual images

Prefer getting a “bigger picture” rather than details.

Words used by a visual style communicator:

See

Look

Imagine

Focus

Picture

View

Clarify

Show

Visualize

Illustrate

Questions to stimulate a quick response from a visual style communicator:

Tell me what your picture looks like.

How does this look to you?

Is this clear?



Gifts of a visual style communicator

They are good at understanding the vision of the project.

They are great time managers

They are able to move from one topic to another easily.

Challenges of a visual style communicator

They become inflexible in the face of scheduling challenges

They tend to skip over details

They tend to rush others and themselves.

How to stay in rapport with a visual style communicator:

Provide agenda

Get to point quickly

Keep meetings short

How to break rapport with a visual style communicator

Ask for details

Leaving long voice mails or sending long-winded emails

Arriving late for a meeting.



Common Characteristics of Auditory Style

Remember what they hear

Learn by listening

Are good storytellers.

Words used by an auditory style communicator:

Resonate

Harmony

Discuss

Tune

Earshot

Say

Ringing

Whisper

Listen

Repeat

Questions to stimulate a quick response from an auditory style communicator:

Are we in tune with each other?

How does this sound?

Does this resonate with you?



Gifts of an auditory style communicator

They are frequently eloquent speakers.

They love discussions and give lengthy explanations.

They are great at brainstorming.

Challenges of an auditory style communicator

Being diplomatic is challenge for them

They are quick to anger if they do not feel heard

They may fall in love with the sound of their voice.

How to stay in rapport with an auditory style communicator:

Ask them about themselves

Repeating things back to them

Listening closely

How to break rapport with an auditory style communicator

Doing something else while they are talking

Interrupting them too often.

Having background noise that they cannot turn off.



Common Characteristics of Kinesthetic Style

Learn best through learning

Need time to feel their way through new information

Have a tendency to take time to settle into a new environment or situation

Words used by a kinesthetic style communicator:

Feel

Together

Touch

Grasp

Handle

Strike

Play

Soft

Connect

Complete

Questions to stimulate a quick response from a kinesthetic style communicator:

Can you relate to this

How does this feel?

Does this fit for you?

Gifts of a kinesthetic style communicator

They are good at relationship building.

They are detail oriented.

They are detail oriented.



Challenges of a kinesthetic style communicator

They can be slow and methodical and may need more time to complete a task.

They tend to provide more details than other people need or want.

They can get overwhelmed when presented with too many choices.

How to stay in rapport with a kinesthetic style communicator:

Make it a point to connect with them in a group situation

Being sensitive to their need to be comfortable in their physical environment.

Allowing them time for fun play and creativity.

How to break rapport with a kinesthetic style communicator

Keeping meeting too long.

Disregarding their intuitive and emotional reactions.

Stifling their creativity.



What Communication Style do you favor?

1. When you are trying something new, do you learn best

a) by reading about it,

b) hearing someone tell you about doing it

c) trying it out yourself

2. What is the best way to describe things to you?

a) Showing it to me brings clarity

b) I can remember well just by listening

c) Writing it down helps me to integrate it

3. When you make important decisions, what do you base them on?

a) How it looks to me.

b) How the idea sounds to me

c) My gut feeling

4. When you are unsure how to spell a word, what method do you use to recall it?

a) Write it down to see if it looks right

b) Spell it out loud to see if it sounds right

c) Trace the letters in the air (finger spelling)

5. You're out shopping for clothes and as you're waiting in line to pay, what are you most

likely to do?

a) Look around at other clothes on the racks

b) Talk to the person next to you in line

c) Fidget or move back and forth

6. What's the most effective method for you to study for a test?

a) Read the book or your notes and review pictures or charts

b) Have someone ask you questions that you can answer aloud

c) Make up index cards that you can review

7. If you went to a dance, what would you be most likely to remember the next day?

a) The faces of the people who were there

b) The music that was played

c) The dance moves that you did and the food that you ate



8. When you are angry, how are you most likely to express it?

a) Put on your “mad” face

b) Yell and scream

c) Slam doors

9. Imagine you are in a place unknown to you, how would you find your way around?

a) Look for a map or directory that shows you where everything is

b) Ask someone for directions

c) Just start walking around until you find what you are looking for

10. What feature are you most likely to remember when you meet new people?

a) Their face but not their names

b) Their name but not their face

c) What you talked about with them

If you chose all (a) or mostly (a), then you are a visual learner.

If you chose all (b) or mostly (b), then you are an auditory learner.

If you chose all (c) or mostly (c), then you are a kinesthetic learner.

By

Susan C Wilson

And

Sandhya Rajagopal

Building Rapport: The First Step to a

Successful Consultation

What is Rapport?

Same wavelength

Connection

In sync

No rapport – sense of uneasiness

Agenda

Today, we are going to be discussing:

What is rapport?

What are some of the benefits in building rapport

Techniques to building rapport

How to build rapid rapport

Objectives

By the end of this session, you will be able to:

Identify the importance of building rapport

Outline the techniques for building rapport

Practice these techniques

What is Rapport?

“A close and harmonious relationship, in which the

people or groups concerned understand each

other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.”

What is Rapport?

Two ways of looking at Rapport:

1. Intentionally build rapport at start of

interaction

2. Assume you are in rapport but notice when

broken

What is Rapport?

Rapport is a skill that can be learned or

improved upon.

Benefits to Building Rapport

Builds Trust

Demonstrates Empathy

Helps motivate the client

Discover more accurate diagnosis

Goals for Consultation

“A consultation without established outcomes is

analogous to trying to buy a ticket from a travel

agent without knowing where you want to go.”

(Garner Thomson and Dr. Khalid Khan 2009)

Goals for the Consultation

What does the client want?

What does the Health Professional want?

In building rapport the most important

thing to remember is to learn about how

the other person represents their world.

Decoding Client’s Inner Experience

Communication style is a window to a person’s world.

Decoding Client’s Inner Experience

Communication Process 93% Non-Verbal + 7% Verbal

55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression/body language

38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in paralinguistics

7 % of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken

Non-Verbal Communication

Physiology (55%)

Lower Body: Stance, Legs

Upper Body: Shoulders, arms, hands and gestures

Head and Face: Facial expressions, Position

and/or movement of head

Non-Verbal Communication

Look for consistency or inconsistency between different non-verbal cues.

Look for consistency or inconsistency between non-verbal cues and verbal cues.

Look at non-verbal cues as a whole

Non-Verbal cues speak the loudest.

Eye Movements

American psychologist, William James, “Principles of Psychology (1890)◦ Thought/feeling – eyes moved

Kinsbourne (1972); Kocel (1972); Gallin & Ornstein (1974) ◦ left and right hemispheres

Robert Dilts (1977) – Study at Langley Porter Neuropsychiatric Institute in San Francisco◦ Electrodes – track eye movements and brain waves

Voice

How you say something is five times more

important than what you say

Tone

Tempo

Volume

Tone

High or low

Rising or falling

Monotone

Mid-range

Tempo

Speed of speech

Judgments

Volume

Loud or soft

Judgments

Remember

It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it!

The Words We Use

Words often indicate preferred method of

taking in information

Categories of words:

◦ Visual

◦ Auditory

◦ Kinesthetic

Learning Styles

Daniel Goleman said that by habit or under

stress, people rely on a favored mode to gather

information, organize it and express themselves.

Using a style similar to client establishes

empathy.

What is Your Learning Style?

Learning Styles

The VAK Model

Visual Auditory Kinesthetic

Know your own style of learning and:

Be able to appreciate your client’s style too. Be flexible and fit your style to that of client

Learning styles: VAK Model

According to the VAK Model most people

possess a dominant learning style

Some people have an evenly balanced blend

of different styles.

Communication Styles

Visual

◦ See things as pictures

◦ Memorize by creating visual images

◦ Prefer getting a “bigger picture” rather than details.

Posture and movement

Speech

Eye Movement


Auditory

◦ Remember what they hear

◦ Learn by listening

◦ Are good storytellers.


Speech

Eye Movement


Kinesthetic

◦ Learn best through learning

◦ Need time to feel their way through new information

◦ Have a tendency to take time to settle into a new

environment or situation


Speech

Eye Movement

How Do You Buy a New Car?

Calibration

The skill of calibration involves the awareness of

behavioral cues that correspond to the thinking

and feelings that the person is experiencing.

Calibration

Skill of sensory awareness

Skill of awareness of behavioral cues

Exercise – widening your gaze

Exercise – calibrating likes/dislikes of another

Exercises

Widening Your Eyes

Like/Dislike

Techniques for Building Rapport

Matching and Mirroring

Pacing and Leading

Be Authentic and Sincere!

Matching and Mirroring

Matching someone else’s non-verbal or verbal communication

Mirroring exactly what the other person is doing or saying

State or mood

Breathe

Pacing and Leading

Pacing is mirroring and matching the other

person.

Leading is exhibiting different behaviour.

First, Pace, Then, Lead.

Move from old pattern to new

Demonstration of Pacing and Leading

What? Break Rapport?

When is it beneficial to break rapport?

Session to a timely end

To avoid burnout

Ways to Break Rapport

Stop matching and/or mirroring

Do something different

◦ Break eye contact

◦ Turn away from the client

Why Rapid Rapport?

First impressions

To regain rapport, if lost

Rapid Rapport

1. Smile

2. Look the person directly in the eyes

3. Silently project the message of goodwill

4. If appropriate – shake the person’s hand

Approachability and Credibility

Appearance

Voice Quality

Demonstration of Approachability and

Credibility

Summary

Rapport is a skill you can learn and improve upon

Engaging in rapport must be subtle

Flexibility

Mutually beneficial goals

Well-wishes and positive states

Awareness of body language, voice and words

When to break rapport and how to rapidly build it

How to be approachable, as well as credible in

your communications with your clients

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