talking with youth listening with your heart bob lewis sue badeau permanent family connections

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Talking With Youth Listening with your heart Bob Lewis Sue Badeau Permanent Family Connections Slide 2 & SBadeau@aol.com2 Workshop Introduction This is an interactive workshop Youth development Permanence Is Looking at the Issues Thinking about a specific youth Identifiable Tasks Public media & other Recruitment Practice Exercise Wrap-up Slide 3 & SBadeau@aol.com3 Youth Development for Success Power Competence Usefulness Belonging Slide 4 & SBadeau@aol.com4 Permanence is everyones job 1.Permanence is for All Youth 2.Permanence Can Be Created 3.Permanence is for Now 4.Permanence is for The Future Slide 5 & SBadeau@aol.com5 Permanence is for the future Terry, 19, college JD, 20, grandchildren Peggys daughter, 34, jail Lus son, 16, RTC THINK AHEAD 5,10,20 YEARS Slide 6 & SBadeau@aol.com6 Permanence can be created The highest level of physical, legal and emotional safety and security for each youth within a family relationship. Slide 7 & SBadeau@aol.com7 Permanence Can Be Created A parent or two A parenting relationship with at least one adult Intent a mutual understanding that this relationship is intended to last forever Unconditional commitment on the part of the adult Participation of all parties in the relationship Lifelong and mutual support and involvement Intimacy & Belonging ICBSICBS Slide 8 & SBadeau@aol.com8 Range of legal connections Adoption Guardianship Custody Legal Name Change Other Permanent Living Arrangement Adoption deferred to adulthood Slide 9 & SBadeau@aol.com9 Comparing legal permanence Birth parents rights Caregiver Rights Legal Documentation Decision Making for Child/ren Relationship with the Birth Parent/s Financial Assistance Eligibility for Medicaid Childs Legal Name Inheritance Returning a Child Slide 10 & SBadeau@aol.com10 Power Competence Usefulness Belonging Youth Development for Success Slide 11 & SBadeau@aol.com11 Identify the Accessible Time/Place The office? On the phone? Whos there in the living space? Preparing the ground around Plant the seeds Make opportunities. All the time & everywhere Slide 12 & SBadeau@aol.com12 Listen with Respect Listen beyond the words Repeat actions and messages of empowerment Allow for disagreement without triggering oppositional behavior Find areas of agreement Dont expect full buy-in Keep at it Slide 13 & SBadeau@aol.com13 Know Your Goal and Focus Talk softly and often about family connection. Present thoughts and ideas for them to consider in their media. Partialize the process to the point of acceptance. Imagine and help the youth imagine a family connection. Dont expect them to take all the risks. Go over it again. Slide 14 & SBadeau@aol.com14 Using the Media Slide 15 & SBadeau@aol.com15 And Your Teens View What has been his/her experience of removal and re-removal? How has s/he experienced the system? Does s/he have any fears of rejection? What messages of independent living has s/he received? What is his/her concept of family, and family relationships? Keep thinking about it. Slide 16 & SBadeau@aol.com16 Preparing for Family Living Deinstitutionalization Mutual responsibilities in family living Teaching the art of asking questions PTSD Remembered relationships Fantasized relationships Hopes and dreams Fear of rejection Keep teaching about family experiences Slide 17 & SBadeau@aol.com17 Identifying a Youths Network Record search Asking the youth Eco-map/Genogram Remembered people Asking around Keep looking Slide 18 & SBadeau@aol.com18 Preparing a Youth for Publicity And other youth-specific family recruitment Describe the event Explain your role & the youths Prepare: role play, practice Debrief immediately Stay in touch; continue to follow up Slide 19 & SBadeau@aol.com19 Engaging the Youths Network Youth involvement Invitations Meetings Follow up and follow up Slide 20 & SBadeau@aol.com20 Maya & PJ Exercise Slide 21 & SBadeau@aol.com21 Persist There is no reason to stop. Weave it into the fabric of your work: whatever else youre doing, youre working on permanence. Have a plan with each youth in your caseload. Start with a broad plan and get specific in each case. Return to the broadest focus when necessary. Focus x Competence x Passion = Adherence