Parent & Family Magazine Volume 2/ Issue 2

The TCU Parent & Family Magazine is a publication from

Student Development Services in the Division of Student Affairs at

Texas Christian University.

2901 Stadium Drive Brown-Lupton University Union

Suite 2003 Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.parents.tcu.eduparents@tcu.edu

817-257-7855

TCU Mission:To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.

TCU Vision:To be a world-class, values-centered

university.

Connect with TCU news, social media, photos, and more at www.newsevents.tcu.edu

November/December 2014

Contents:

Kay’s ColumnA Message from the Director of Parent & Family Programs

TCU Parents Career Network

National Networking Night

Holly and Jolly Without Any Folly:

Tips to Enjoying a Safe Holiday Season

Parent Council Works Hard for All ParentsA Message from A Parent Council Member

Your Student, Transitioning Through College

Parent & Family Magazine

Greetings!

As I write to you, your sons and daughters are in their last few days of classes, before the week of finals. The conversations are about how many exams each person has, which is the hardest, etc. Even the very experienced

students get butterflies this time of year!

Following finals most of our students will be leaving campus for part or all of the winter holiday (December 20 – January 11). University Offices will be closed beginning on December 24, 2014 and will reopen on Monday, January 5, 2015. (Anyone who has an emergency and needs to speak with a staff person during the holiday, may contact the Campus Police 24/7 at 817-257-7777.) Classes will begin for spring semester on Monday, January 12, 2015.

If you are a novice at “welcoming your student home for the holidays,” please remember each of you may have different expectations about the holiday. Some helpful suggestions:

• Identify together what issues might become “trigger points” for conflict within your family.

• Parents and the student make separate lists about what they are expecting on these issues and any others that may come to mind.

• Share respective lists with one another.

• On issues where the expectation is very great, discuss calmly what might be a reasonable compromise. (Ex. You want your student home by midnight every night. Your student wants to come home if and when he/she gets ready. Compromise: Because the family goes to bed at 11 p.m., the student agrees to give you a “courtesy call” by 10:50 p.m. to confirm his/her plans and report expected time of arrival. Some parents may want to be wakened when their student returns at 2 a.m., others will opt not to be disturbed.)

• If unanticipated conflicts arise, ask to talk calmly instead of screaming out the

differences.• If you want to spend individual time

with your student, don’t assume it is going to happen. Ask your student to get his/her social calendar out so that the two of you can schedule some time together.

• If there are some “command family appearances,” say to your daughter/son at the very beginning of the visit, “I know you are not here for long and you have lots of people to see and things you want to do. Let me tell you the times that are already scheduled so that you will be able to plan all the things you want to do while you are

home.”

These are just a few suggestions of ways to head off conflict. The winter holiday is a much-anticipated time for students, parents, and other family members. I promise you, your students are as thrilled to be home for the holidays as you are to have them there. Don’t let a few differences in expectations destroy a fabulous reunion.

Oh yes, and the break continues into January, let me also remind you: If your son or daughter starts talking about “going home,” meaning “returning to campus,” please don’t get your feelings hurt. While they love their friends and will miss them over the break, never doubt that YOU are still their home. However, they are beginning to live the reality that one can have more than one physical and emotional home. When that son/daughter is 35 years old, with a spouse, five children, 4 dogs, a bird, and an iguana you will want that lesson to have been learned NOW!

National Networking Night is January 7, 2015! Save the date! On the next page in this magazine is more information about this important night. Alumni, parents, students, and friends who want to help our students be successful are invited to the National Networking Night in our 14 chapter cities across the country. If you live in one of these cities or live close enough to travel to one, GO! It will be worth it.

For students interested in a leadership position on campus, Frog Camp Facilitator and Resident Assistant (RA) applications are available now. The RA application deadline is January 16, 2015. The deadline for submitting the Frog Camp application is January 21 (returners) and January 22 (new). Frog Camp applications are located at:

www.sds.tcu.edu. RA application can be found at www.rlh.tcu.edu/work-with-us.asp.

If you are the family of the several hundred students who are graduating December 2014, we wish you and your student joy and happiness. Remember that you are all permanent members of the TCU family. If your student ever needs to use the Center for Career and Professional Development, it is only a phone call or website away. Alumni, parents, and friends continue to participate in watch parties and attend games throughout the country. I hope we see each other along the way!

While most students will be relaxing and not thinking about TCU responsibilities over the holidays, we have four athletic teams that will be focused on practicing and winning. Men’s and Women’s Basketball will play 6 and 5 games respectively between December 20 and January 11, 2015. The Swimming and Diving team will compete on January 8, 2015. And the most visible and publicized competition will be when the TCU Horned Frog Football team takes on Ole Miss. in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl on December 31 at 11:30 a.m. CST in Atlanta, GA! Wherever you are, if you are able to attend a competition, please do so. Wear Purple proudly and always cheer, “Go Frogs!”

Finally, I do hope that your family has a wonderful holiday together. This is a very special time of year. It is not about a big vacation. It is not about receiving everything on one’s list. It is not about having the most talked-about holiday party in town. It is about family and friends caring from one another. And it can be about taking time to remember those who have neither family nor friends, and in some cases, neither food nor shelter. It is about living in gratitude.

I am grateful to you and for you. TCU parents are the best!

Joy to you!

Kay Higgins, Ph.D.Associate Dean of Student DevelopmentDirector of Parent & Family Programs

December 2014

Dear Fellow Parent,

Think about all the people you know and the career experience you have. Imagine how powerful that information can be to our daughters and sons as they prepare for their careers!

Recently, TCU’s Center for Career & Professional Development asked the TCU Parent Council for help. The results?

18 Jobs Posted

10 Parents Assisting with Interview Practice

10 Parents Volunteering to Mentor

11 Parents Making Introductions to Job Opportunities

An exciting new opportunity with TCU parent-owned www.internships.com

We know, with your help, we can do so much more.

We’re asking you to share your contacts, career advice and information about op-portunities with your employers or companies. You can volunteer your time as a mentor or participate in mock interviews.

Just go to https://careers.tcu.edu/support-career-services.html and give TCU the benefit of your experience.

Together, we can make the world a little more purple.

Warm regards,Lisa and Dan GrableParents of Ryan ’15 & Blake ‘17Newport Beach, CA

P.S. Don’t forget to encourage your student to attend career events on campus (www.careers.tcu.edu). Never underestimate the power of a phone call from Mom or Dad.

www.careers.tcu.edu/families

National Networking Night is January 7, 2015National Networking Night brings together TCU students, alumni,

and parents in cities across the nation, to get connected and go further. It’s a powerful way to jumpstart your student's career,

expand business connections and utilize the Horned Frog network.

The 14 TCU Alumni chapter cities will host their own TCU update and alumni panel, followed by the opportunity to network with

alumni, parents, and students. In an effort to reach as many students as possible, National Networking Night will be held

during TCU’s winter break on January 7th where students can have the opportunity to network in their hometown or choose a

location based on a career path after graduation.

For details about a city near you and to register, visit www.froglinks.com/nationalnetworkingnight. The more alumni, students and friends in attendance, the stronger the Horned Frog network becomes so encourage the

TCU Alumni in your city to join the TCU Alumni Association on January 7!

Turkey and pies. Glittery tinsel and twinkling lights. Your favorite faces gathered around a flickering fire, hands curled around mugs of creamy hot chocolate. Yuletide carols and a slow dance or two. Laughter. It takes a lot of work to throw together the bash of the season, but the best holiday hosts manage to dazzle guests at every turn and, at the end of the night, happy sighs can be heard as everyone climbs into cozy beds.

That’s the plan, the hope and the prayer, but did you know that, according to government data, Thanksgiving is the deadliest holiday of the year out on the road? On average, four to five times as many fatal accidents occur on Turkey Day, and roughly 50 percent involve a driver under the influence of alcohol. Soon after, during the merry days between Christmas and New Year’s, two to three times more people die in alcohol-related crashes than during comparable periods the rest of the year. Sadly, over 40 percent of these tragic traffic fatalities – as compared to 28 percent for the first half of December – will also involve a driver who is alcohol-impaired. And, unlike most hazardous situations, every age group is at an equally high risk.

The moral of the story could be stay home, lock your family inside and close the shutters… but let’s be real. You’ve waited all year for grandma’s delectable

sweet potato casserole and to see that friend of yesteryear at a roaring New Year’s celebration. So instead of becoming a hermit, here’s a few tips to help keep you and yours merry and safe.

Set clear, firm, and consistent family guidelines regarding alcohol. Your student’s return home for the holidays and the array of prospective festive soirees present a prime opportunity to revisit the subject of responsible decision-making as well as outline your expectations for his or her conduct while back under your roof. As national data tells us that 4 in 5 college students drink alcohol, it is fairly safe to assume that your student has, at the least, been exposed to peer alcohol use between now and the last time he or she crashed in the childhood bunk. Encourage your student to be open about any recent experiences with alcohol. Process out loud the ins and outs of his or her experiences, strategically guiding your student in weighing the positive and negative outcomes of his or her choices and praising the good decisions made. Finish the conversation by offering tips for scenarios he or she could encounter in the future (making sure to use language that validates your student’s newfound adulthood) and laying out a plan for navigating parties that may happen in the hometown during break.

Holly & Jolly Without Any Folly: Tips to Enjoying a Safe Holiday Season By Tiara Nugent, Program Director TCU’s The Bottom Line

Research shows that 57% of minors report drinking at friends' homes, so even removed from the college setting alcohol temptation exists. Give your student permission to call you at any hour if for any reason he or she should need a ride home. Safety first.

Avoid making alcohol the main focus of social events. If you happen to host a scintillating shindig of your own this holiday season, be sure to structure the festivities to center around music, games, food and lively conversations. Give underage guests attractive yet prudent beverage options by offering a variety of delicious non-alcoholic drink concoctions such as the one featured on this page. Should you serve alcohol as well, these non-alcoholic selections could invite guests who choose to imbibe to also indulge in a “drink spacer” – i.e. a choice non-alcoholic beverage with which to alternate the alcoholic and thus slow down or diminish intoxication.

Don’t allow anyone to drink and drive. Holiday revelers may not recognize the degree to which critical driving-related skills and decision-making abilities are diminished long before they show physical signs of intoxication. Inhibitions and judgment are affected as soon as the first drink goes down the pipe, and, contrary to

popular belief, a cup of coffee won’t do the trick to sober anyone up. This is because even after someone stops drinking, alcohol in the stomach and intestine continues to enter the bloodstream for up to 90 minutes. This secretion builds up the person’s BAC (blood alcohol content), results in increased impaired judgment and decreased coordination, and adds time to the clock counting back down to sober status. Demonstrate your commitment to safety and responsible hosting by recruiting people ahead of time who will not be drinking to help ensure that everyone has a safe ride home and keep an eye out for any guests who may be indulging a little too much. It’s also a wise idea to pack away the alcohol at least an hour before the party winds down. Hint: cleverly set out some of your homemade fudge instead and no one will be the wiser.

Be a model for responsible behavior… and a good time. Parents and guardians are the most important role models for students. If you consume alcohol, set a good example and drink responsibly. If you serve it to holiday guests, encourage them to display responsible behavior as well. Never serve alcohol to your student’s underage friends and be mindful of how your attitudes and behavior toward underage and binge drinking may influence your student. Avoid making jokes about underage drinking or drunkenness, or otherwise showing indirect approval of underage and/or excessive alcohol use. And finally, show your student that a frolicking

good time doesn’t require booze – just people you love and a place to gather.

If you, your student or a loved one needs help with alcohol or issues related to any other drug, reach out for help. TCU’s Alcohol & Drug Education staff is a resource on campus and may be reached by phone at 817.257.7100 or in office in the basement of Samuelson Hall. For more tips on responsible decision-making and alcohol, connect with The Bottom Line campaign on social media (Facebook: BottomLineTCU, Twitter: bottom_line_tcu).

Let’s be honest about it; we, Americans, love to get involved in our sons’ and daughters’ education and school experience. When my son, Karim, a sophomore biology major, started kindergarten, I discovered that in order to volunteer in his class I had to be on a waiting list. There were more parents interested in helping in classrooms than there were volunteer opportunities. But here at TCU, it’s different. TCU wants parent involvement and aspires to build a warm relationship with us. We have a TCU Parent & Family Magazine that keeps us posted with campus news and events. Even if someone, like myself, doesn’t care about football (oops!), there are several other venues that make it possible for me as a parent to stay connected with campus, whether physically or virtually.

With TCU’s conviction that parents are effective partners in helping students achieve the most from their collegiate experience, the university launched an organization in 1987 that connects parents to campus and students. The TCU Parent Council represents all parents as an advisory organization, and it welcomes members from all over the nation. The Parent Council meets twice a year to discuss and evaluate matters pertaining to academic and student life programs and activities.

The TCU Parent Council is vibrant in 2014. During the fall meeting in September, over fifty parents divided ourselves into three overarching subcommittees: communications, parent relations, and the TCU relations committee.The Communications Committee will assist the office of parent and family programs in the areas of social media, digital and phone correspondence with new or prospective parents, and web writing. Members of the communications committee have dedicated themselves to be available to any prospective or new parent who has a question about the TCU experience.

The Parent Relations Committee’s activities include, but are not limited to, developing the TCU Parent Association membership and supporting the Center for Career and Professional Development in the discovery and promotion of student internship and career employment opportunities.

The TCU Relations Committee acts a liaison between the university and the parents association. The primary purpose will be to focus on supporting parents and students through send-off parties and assisting the Admission staff by serving as TCU representatives at college fairs and high school visits around the country, as well as other activities, as needed.

Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions about how you can get involved. The TCU Parent Council is here to help facilitate communication and programmatic activity that will aid the university and every TCU student. If you want to become a part of these important efforts, to make a comment, ask a question, or contribute an idea please email us at parents@tcu.edu.

Dina MalkiArlington, TXParent Council member

Parent Council Works Hard for All Parents

Your Student, Transitioning Through CollegeStudent Development in the First & Middle years at TCU

Class of 2018 The First–Year Experience For many, the holidays are filled with rich family traditions and fond memories of childhood. Families join together to decorate the Christmas tree, light the menorah, and decorate the home in holiday spirit. For first year college students, this time can be very challenging in three ways. First, they may have missed out in being involved in such family traditions and will struggle finding their place within family dynamics. Secondly, they may struggle to balance their new found autonomy with their family’s expectations. Lastly, students may come back home with new ways of thinking and questions about family traditions and beliefs.

First year students may not realize that home life continued while they were at college. When students come home to realize the traditions, such as tree decoration or the hanging of lights, that they were looking forward to participating in have been completed without them, they may be disappointed and feel that the family has forgotten them. This could lead them to question their role and place in the family. For example, if the student’s role every year was to put the star on top of the tree or light the Shamash on the menorah, and they return home to see that a younger sibling was able to do that in place of him/her, they may face feelings of being replaced.

Another struggle that first year students will face when they come home for an extended period of time is expectations from the family that they are exactly the same as when

they left. Students have been making decisions on their own for the last four months about when they go to bed, what they eat, with whom they associate, and when they come home or go to bed at night. To come back home to where there is a curfew and frequent questions of where they are going, what are they doing, and who are they hanging out with could frustrate some students as they feel that they are losing their newly gained independence. First year students have had the opportunity to meet and interact with many other people who have challenged them to expand their thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. When they return home and question family beliefs and traditions, it may anger some parents and create conflicts between the student and parents.

For parents to help support their students, the First Year Experience staff suggests making note of your student’s intellectual, psychological, and emotional development and providing him/her some leniency as he/she readjusts into new roles within the family. To help your student reconnect to the family, ask him/her what part of the family traditions are most important and how the family can still incorporate the student when he/she is home.

Students’ intellectual curiosity will have expanded since leaving home and they will have many questions upon returning for the break. Be patient with your student and take the opportunity, when challenged on a family tradition or belief, to engage in the discussion and share your point of view. Role model to the student the appropriate way to have a civil conversation in regards to some very strong beliefs. Parents will find this dialogue more beneficial in developing a new type of relationship with their student than replying with the typical “as long as you live under my roof…” response. The winter break marks a very important time for not only the family but also the college student.

Through open communication and some forethought, you can greatly help support your college student in his/her development. From the FYE Office, we wish you and you student a wonderful holiday season and Happy New Year!

Class of 2017 & 2016The Sophomore & Junior–Year Experience It’s pretty common for students in their sophomore and junior years to start to experience friendships in ways that are new to them. First-year students commonly focus on quantity- meetings as many people as possible in all the clubs and organizations and classes they can. As students get older, they may start to question some of their friendships that don’t add joy to their lives. As mentors, parents, family members and TCU faculty and staff can help our students by asking questions such as: Are you focusing your energy on people who make you feel good?, What qualities are important to you in a friendship?, Are you making time and caring for people by prioritizing relationships?, Are you accepting people for who they are and suspending judgment?. Help your student by encouraging them to have fun, spend time with people who matter to them, and accept that friendships change and sometimes end. Nurturing and managing relationships is a life-long process and a valuable skill. The people students choose to surround them have a profound influence on their wellbeing and development.

Read more about managing friendships in this great article by Kelly Rigby, http://zenhabits.net/a-

users-guide-to-fabulous-friendships/

John Mark Day, M.A., M.S., Director of the First Year Expereince, Student Development Services

Keri Cyr, M.Ed., Associate Director of the Sophomore & Junior Year Experience, Student Development Services

Class of 2015The Senior Year Experience

Putting the Spring in Seniors’ Steps

Seniors have a number of options to use the spring semester for completing the undergrad experience and preparing for the future.Last Lecture Series (Jan 21, Feb 18, and Mar 18): Seniors recognize and honor four professors they have selected to present lectures on topics of their own choice. After each lecture, the honored professors meet with student in a casual reception.

Senior Reorientation (Feb-Mar): Five weekly sessions provide seniors with opportunities for reflecting on their college experience and valuable information for preparing for their next steps in life. After the fifth session there is a formal yet fun celebratory banquet.

TCU Pecha Kucha (Apr 1): Seniors nominated by TCU faculty and staff provide presentations on topics of their choice. Each presenter has 20 slides that are shown for 20 seconds each. The slides change automatically, and the presenter narrates – that’s 6 minutes and 40 seconds total to tell the story. Because this program is also meant to bring together seniors and first-year students, we do ask presenters to consider how their topics can be of interest and value to first-year students as well as seniors.

Senior Toast & Fiesta (Dec 17 for Fall Grads, May 6 for Spring & Summer Grads): A fun and very popular TCU tradition in which seniors have dinner with the Chancellor, receive a toast from him, and learn about programs and services for young alumni. Includes a huge selection of valuable door prizes!

Commencement (Dec 20 for Fall, May 9 for Spring): That long awaited and much anticipated moment! The

best time for seniors to start getting prepared is now, and the best place is here: www.commencement.tcu.edu

Get more information and see the entire Senior Must-Do List here: www.sds.tcu.edu/mustdo4.asp

Chuck Dunning, M.A., Director of the Senior Experience, Student Development Services

Seniors enjoy the Senior Toast & Fiesta on the lawn of the Dee J. Kelly Center

Texas Christian University2800 South University Drive Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.tcu.edu

Our Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community. Seniors enjoy the Senior Toast & Fiesta on the lawn of the Dee J. Kelly Center