the motivation formula - whytry:...

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www.whytry.org© WhyTry LLC 2013

CHALLENGE:

CHOICENegative Positive

Damage

• Less opportunity and freedom• Personal strength and energy is dying• Path of least resistance• Hurting self or others

• Who values me because of who I am, not just my successes and failures?• Who is helping me become an expert on myself?• Who helps me see positive attributes in myself and others?

• What will my self talk be that will not hurt myself or others?• What do I have and don’t have personal control over?

• Who respects and cares for me that I do not want to disappoint by giving up?• How will I really feel about myself if I never get any farther than this?

Who Are My Lifelines?

PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In

Personal Passion & Purpose

Turned Outward

How can my challenges create motivation?

Why Try?Opportunity, Freedom, Personal Strength

Po

sitive Energy

What might my life look likewhen I get here?

Transforming Challenges into

“The Flood Zone”

The Motivation FormulaPersonal Strength

Anger Gratitude

• Where have I gotten lost?• Why did I continue?

• Once I am here, who else can I help get here?

Key Concept:We can take our challenges and channel them into positive motivation: first to better our-selves, then to turn outward and help others.

Positive affirmation: “I WILL transform my challenges into personal strength.”

Personalize the Lesson: • In what ways is this formula a key to the rest of the program?• What is my role as an officer or facilitator in motivating my

students to do better?• What is an example of “positive self-talk” that I use to moti-

vate myself when I have a challenge?• What is a personal passion and purpose that I have (outside

of my work) that I can share with my students?

Secondary Concepts:• We can channel the challenges we face at home, at work,

legally, and with peers in a positive direction.• When we make negative choices, we end up in the “flood

zone.”• Positive self-talk, character and heart, a personal passion and

purpose turned outward, and getting plugged into positive support systems can help us remain motivated and transform our challenges into personal strength.

The Motivation FormulaIntroduction

Vocabulary

• Motivation• “Flip the switch”• Positive energy• Reframe• Turning outward• Self-talk• Character and

heart• Passion• Support systems

Note to Facilitator: If working in a closed group setting, before beginning this second class, make sure you have read and reviewed “Key Program Concepts” as outlined in the introductory chapter of this manual, as well as the chapter “Becoming a Lifeline.” This should be the second class in the series and you should have introduced students to the entire WhyTry Program with the first class.

2 Becoming a Lifeline

The Motivation Formula

Getting Started

Welcome We believe at WhyTry it’s critical to have positive, upbeat music playing in the classroom as stu-dents enter. We have built in a mix of WhyTry’s original music embedded on the slide.

Class CommitmentsOur recommended approach is that all students, along with the instructor, recite in unison the four class commitments. [List these]

Review from last classDraw a name from the hat containing names of students from the previous class. Click on the icon metaphor representing the previous class and have the student review the core concepts of the metaphor as it relates to their own experience.

If we’re working with a closed group and this is our first class, there would obviously be no review here, and the facilitator would simply skip this slide.

If we’re teaching Motivation Formula in an open-group setting, click on the picture icon at the bot-tom of the slide to take you to the previous metaphor for a student to review.

Share and ReportEvery student will now take 1-3 minutes, depending on the class size, to stand in front of the class and share and report one key component of the previous class that resonated with them.

Where We’re HeadedPositive affirmation: “I WILL transform my challenges into personal strength.” Touch briefly on the positive affirmation, stating that this is where we are heading in this unit and that by the end of the unit, all of us will have the proper perspectives and tools to proclaim this statement in our life.

WhyTry StaircaseWe can consider the Motivation Formula to be the “handrail” of the entire program that we will be going over together in the next several weeks. Re-gardless of where we might be in our understanding of the steps that we will be taking, the core concepts of the Motivation Formula are something

we can always hold onto to help stabilize our thoughts and behavior in the face of any challenge that we are dealing with.

Seeing Over the WallLiving with a New View and More Strength



Lesson Plan: Introducing Motivation Formula

It is likely that some of our successes occurred because we channeled our challenges in a positive direction. Many people are confused about how to deal with challenges. While there are no magic solutions to the challenges people face today, this formula can help us show what resilient people already know and have likely been applying for years.

Depending on how a person chooses to handle the challenges in their life, their choices will produce greater personal strength or greater weakness. This formula is designed to help us understand how we can transform our challenges into personal strength.

Ask students, “What are some various uses of water that we experience every day?”

Explain that water can provide life and energy -- like water that’s channeled into a dam -- but water can also be destructive, as will be demonstrated and discussed during today’s class.



Visual Analogy Walkthrough

Discussion Point 1: Challenges

Fact:We all have challenges in life.

Question:What are some of the challenges that we’re currently dealing with? How are we dealing with those challenges?

Discussion: In the face of difficult challenges in life, we often feel anger, fear, and frustration. With these chal-lenges and emotions come choices.

Point 2: Choice

Discussion: The choices that we make will take us either in a posi-tive direction or a negative direction. In truth, there are only two directions. There is not a third option. Even when a person thinks they are choosing to do absolute-ly nothing, this choice will fall into one of the two cate-gories.

THE FLOOD ZONEWhen a person makes negative choices in life, it will take them into what we call the “flood zone.”

Key indicators that a person is in the “flood zone” is when: • They experience less opportunity and freedom• Their personal strength and energy is dying

• They follow a path of least resistance• They hurt self or others


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude



VIDEO CLIP: CHRISTIAN MOORE, FOUNDER OF WHYTRY

Play the video clip of Christian Moore, founder of WhyTry, as he talks about his life and the core principles of the Motivation Formula that he applied in his life to get him to where he is today.


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




VIDEO CLIP: FLOOD DAMAGE

Show participants a video clip of flood damage. One possible video clip that has been used in the past may be found at corrections.whytry.org.

1. Flood damage is very real.

DiscussionThe Motivation Formula metaphor borrows directly from the very real concept that too much water and too much energy -- uncontrolled -- is a very disruptive force in nature. This truth carries directly into our personal lives, wherein a person’s nega-tive choices can take them into the “flood zone” and generate a destructive force for themselves and others.

2. What caused the road and bridge to go out?

DiscussionWater (a challenge in a person’s life) that moves too quickly through too narrow of a space can create a destructive force as seen in this picture, wherein a bridge has been washed away.

3. If I wasn’t paying attention, how dangerous would this road be to drive on?

DiscussionIt is common for a person existing in the “flood zone” to say or believe, “It’s my life, my choices, what I do is my own business.” The reality is, depending on how these challenges are managed, they can generate destructive patterns of behavior that do im-pact others around them. Their intentions are irrelevant -- wheth-er they are intending to harm others or not.

4. What’s happening here?

DiscussionFlood damage doesn’t necessarily occur all at once. Over time, erosion may occur, resulting in serious damage.

Notice that the erosion and damage pictured here is occurring around a corner. If the river was running in a straight line, there might be no damage at all. When we encounter “unknowns” in life (for example, the other side of a turn), the decisions that we make going into that corner are critical.


5. Why is flood water always this color?

DiscussionChallenges left unchecked and negative choices made in re-sponse to those challenges will always pick up dirt and pollut-ants outside of the boundaries that normally contain the water (challenge), just as pictured here. Flood water is always brown, always dirty, always polluted, because it either overflows or destroys its natural boundaries.

6. Why is the water following this path?

DiscussionNote, once again, the color of this water. Underneath this flood water obviously is a road. Water has no choice but to take the path of least resistance. Water always will and always has followed this course. Water does not possess the capacity to choose as we do.

7. Katrina - What caused the most damage to the city?

DiscussionHurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in August of 2005, and was one of the biggest and most powerful hurricanes on record. The storm itself created tremendous damage, but the greatest dam-age occurred when the city’s levees broke and the Mississippi River and Lake Pontchartrain flooded New Orleans.

8. How easy is it going to be for this family to recover from this flood?

DiscussionWe do not have control over the consequences of our decisions, but we do have control over our decisions. Once a flood has occurred, the recovery and cleanup is always a very lengthy process. The flooded car pictured here may or may not even be recoverable, since the flood water has penetrated every aspect of the vehicle. Note here that the family pictured are victims, including the infant, to the flood that has occurred around them.


9. Does a flood care who or what gets in its way?

DiscussionPictured here once again is an entire family, including its pets, being victimized by a flood that they have been exposed to.

When a person lives and exists in a “flood zone” and believes that their actions don’t impact others around them, they are oper-ating at the same level as the water pictured here in this flood.

FACT: FLOOD ZONES DON’T CARE WHO OR WHAT THEY AF-FECT.

ChallengeThink of a time when you did something where you honestly didn’t care who it impacted, and were thinking only of what you wanted to get out of the situation.

10. Can the powerful and destructive force of water be trans-formed into something positive and helpful?

DiscussionYes it can! However, the only way challenges can be converted into personal strength is when a person CHOOSES to control and channel their challenges in a positive direction.

Note: There are some challenges that we create and bring on ourselves by the choices we make. However, there are many challenges in life that we have no control over. The only choice, or control, we have over these types of challenges is the way we choose to channel them.

DiscussionIf the dam pictured here were to suddenly disappear, the calm and peaceful lake would instantly become a destructive flood. The rest of this metaphor will outline how we can choose to build and use specific strategies (“dams”) in our lives. Once these dams are in place, our challenges can and will be transformed into positive, constructive, and beneficial outcomes.


CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - THE FLOOD ZONE

Discussion:Let’s think about the video we watched of Christian Moore. What were some of the challenges he described in aspects of his life that were a Flood Zone for him?

Point 3: Who are my lifelines?

Fact: People change primarily because of relationships with other people. Even though it may be possible for a person to change course in their life simply

by thinking about themselves, this is, in truth, a rare exception.

A person who is truly drowning in the “flood zone” has to reach a point where they recognize, “I am drowning. I’m not going to make it on my own. I don’t have the strength to get out of this. I need help.” Until a person reaches this point, they are likely to continue, in their own strength, to simply flounder and splash in the “flood zone.”

Challenge:Have students think about a person who had a positive influence in their life, someone who may have truly been a “lifeline” to them.

Challenge students to identify and list some of the character qualities that that person demon-strated. Chances are that the students will identify and list on their own the three primary charac-teristics of a lifeline.

Some of the students may say, “I don’t have any people in my life who qualify as a lifeline.” Make sure that students realize that we, the facilitators, are one of their lifelines. They will be reassured of this as we continually:

• Value them because of who they are, not just their successes or failures• Help them become experts on themselves• Help them see positive attributes in themselves and others

CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - LIFELINES

DiscussionLet’s think about the video we watched of Christian Moore. Who were his lifelines? How did they reach out to him?

NOTE:

Refer to the chapter, “Becoming a Lifeline” for further instructions and details on this critical concept.


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude





Discussion:Do you believe that the challenges you are now facing or have faced in the past can become fuel to motivate you and others to

transform challenges into personal strength?

Every single comfort that exists around us today at one point in history did not exist. Someone at some point was motivated or challenged to create something that did not exist at that time. Were that person not challenged by an unmet need, we would not enjoy today all the comforts that we do. What needs are being created by the challenges you are now facing, and how can those chal-lenges motivate you to meet those needs?

For example, how does having a curfew motivate you to change? How does having officers in your life telling you what you have to do motivate you? How can you draw motivation from having to report to authority figures?

Point 4: Use Positive Self-Talk (Dam #1)

Question:

What will my self talk be that will not hurt myself or others? What do and don’t I have personal control over?

Discussion:

No matter what our challenges are, what we tell ourselves about a problem often determines the impact that challenge will have on us. We can use our inner voice to direct our choices in a positive direction.

We should focus our positive self-talk only on things we can control. Talk about the difference between the things we can control and the things we can’t control. For example, we don’t have control over probation or parole requirements, but we do control whether we put effort into our treatment programs. We don’t have control over child support, fines, other clients, peers’ actions, and so forth, but we do control how we respond to these situations.

CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - SELF-TALK

DiscussionRefer back to the video of Christian Moore. What was Christian’s self-talk?


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude



Why is struggle an essential ingredient in metamorphosis?

ReadingRefer to the essay “Obstacles are the Stepping Stones of Suc-cess” by Harvey Mackay, found at the end of this chapter. Pro-cess the story with students. Discuss why struggle is such an essential ingredient in the process of metamorphosis.


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




WEAK THINK/STRONG THINK

Read together the introduction page of the Game Plan Journal to introduce and define the con-cept of Weak Think / Strong Think. Students will be introduced to THE DEBATER and DO THE RIGHT THING AND FIND A SHADE OF GREY. It is recommended that a volunteer from the class read the Debater Weak Think concept and another volunteer read the Do the Right Thing and Find a Shade of Grey Strong Think concept.

Discussion:Open a brief discussion with the students about examples of when and where they have done either of these in their life.

Point 5: Character and Heart

Question: Who respects and cares for me that I do not want to disappoint by giving up? How will I really feel about myself if I never get any farther than this?

Discussion: Sometimes life gets tough and we can’t answer the question “Why try?” It is in these times that we can tap into character and heart. This means we keep going through the motions, not giving up out of respect for ourselves and for people who care about and believe in us. Some addiction programs call this “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Relationships can be the greatest motivators when dealing with difficult challenges.

Sooner or later, all of us get tired of disappointing ourselves and others. Character and heart fur-ther means that we have to press into new behaviors and new habits and move past the ongoing sense of disappointment. Notice that the second dam is on the edge of a desert. Staying focused on those essential and important relationships in our lives and having already developed a strong character and heart is what will help us move through “desert experiences” in front of us.

TOOLKIT SLIDE

Refer to the toolkit slide to select an appropriate video, song, or activity that reinforces the con-cept of positive self-talk.

TOOLKIT SLIDE

Refer to the toolkit slide to select an appropriate video, song, or activity. At this time, we rec-ommend that the class engages in one of the ACTIVITIES from the toolkit. After the activity, the facilitator may want to play one of the Motivation Formula MUSIC videos, such as “Change Up.”


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - CHARACTER AND HEART

Discussion:Refer back to the video of Christian Moore. Discuss how Christian demonstrated Character and Heart.

Point 6: The Desert

Question:Where have I gotten lost? Why did I continue?

Discussion:

All of us have experienced “the desert” at times in our lives when circumstances seem hopeless, overwhelming, we feel like quitting, and we cannot see an end to the current struggle or chal-lenge we’re facing.

Let’s think about times when we have experienced this sense of feeling lost with no end in sight. We’ll spend some time thinking about what kept us from quitting that eventually led us out of this situation.

When we’re in a tough spot in a “desert” environment, it’s critical that we keep moving. Being indecisive for too long will eventually lead to circumstances that will be harmful to ourselves or others. In the desert, we feel lost, our energy to continue is very low, and we don’t see an end in sight. Staying in this environment for too long will throw us right back into the Flood Zone where we started. We should keep in mind that it’s normal to have days or moments of discouragement where we are conserving energy. Those “off” days, sooner or later, must be converted into action and keep us moving forward.

CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - THE DESERT

Discussion:Refer back to the video of Christian. What were some of Christian’s reasons for continuing as he did?


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude



TOOLKIT SLIDE

Refer to the toolkit slide to select an appropriate video, song, or activity that reinforces the concepts being discussed.



CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude



Point 7: Personal Passion and Purpose Turned Outward

Question: Once I am here, who else can I help get here? Discussion: If I don’t think I have a passion, it may be that I just don’t realize it or hav-

en’t discovered it yet.

Sometimes motivation will be low, like a river drying up as it runs through the desert. In these times, the greatest motivation will come from focusing on a passion. Having a passion can help us in life and in a future career. People who get to use their passion in their career do a better job because they love what they are doing. People who have passions out-side of their career can put in a hard day’s work so they can focus on their passion after work or on the weekends. Once we have discovered our personal passion and purpose, it is important to turn outward and share it with others. This may help other people develop the same passion, or inspire them to rec-ognize and further develop their own passion. Either way, it is critical that once a personal passion and purpose is discovered, that we plug into other passionate and purposeful people (Discussion Point 8).

CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - PASSION

Discussion:Refer back to the video of Christian. Discuss what his passion was and how he turned it outward.

Point 8: Get Plugged In

Discussion: It is not a matter of simply getting to this point in the Motivation Formula in our life’s journey. It is a matter of being able to stay here. The only way to MAINTAIN our positive self-talk, character and heart, personal passion

and purpose is to stay plugged into like-minded people who value us for who we are, recognize our expertise on ourselves, and are able to see the positive aspects of our lives.

To STAY motivated and overcome challenges, we will need help from others. Developing a strong support system is essential to transforming challenges into personal strength. This principle is so important, in fact, that there is an entire visual analogy dedicated to it later in the WhyTry Correc-tions curriculum.

TOOLKIT SLIDE

Refer to the toolkit slide to select an appropriate video, song, or activity that reinforces the con-cept of pursuing a passion. We recommend the video of Kirk Nugent: “Pursue Your Passion.”


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - PLUGGING IN

Discussion:Refer back to the video of Christian. Discuss with the class who Christian is plugged into now.

Positive Energy / Power Plant Dam

Question:What might my life look like when I get here?

Discussion:The image of a light bulb is introduced here at the end of the Motivation Formula. This same light bulb is also pictured on the “Get Plugged In” metaphor, which emphasizes the idea that the more positive connections we have in our support system, the brighter our life will be able to shine.

Imagine being surrounded by positive thinking people of deep character and heart who are pas-sionate and purposeful in their behavior. I am plugged into them, and they are plugged into me. What would this actually look like if it became a reality? What would I like to be doing?

CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - POSITIVE ENERGY

Discussion:

Refer back to the video of Christian. Discuss what it looks like now that Christian is here.

Anger into Gratitude

Discussion:Bottom line -- Once I apply all of the strategies outlined in the Motiva-tion Formula, I will be able to look back with gratitude at challenges I have faced or am facing. I will be able to identify that the things that once kept me in the “flood zone” of anger, resentment, and frustration

have in fact now made me stronger. The old saying, “That which does not kill us, makes us stron-ger” is a profound truth. However, that truth will not present itself on its own. The core concepts and strategies outlined in the Motivation Formula must be applied for this to be true.

In addition to gratitude, with the right frame of mind and a firm grasp of the concepts outlined in the Motivation Formula, another common outcome of this journey is sensitivity and empathy toward others who are experiencing the same types of challenges that we have overcome. This sensitivity can be a powerful instrument of positive motivation and healing for others. For exam-ple, individuals who are the most powerful counselors in the field of alcohol and drug addiction are those who have overcome addition in their own lives. Those who have the greatest positive impact of overcoming sexual abuse are those who once were abused or victimized themselves, but have overcome. Those who have developed the greatest defense against computer hackers are individuals who were once hackers themselves, who have done hard time in prison but who have decided to turn their knowledge and skills in a positive direction.


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




CHRISTIAN MOORE VIDEO - TRANSFORMING ANGER

Discussion:Refer back to the video of Christian. Discuss how his past anger has been transformed into gratitude today.

Question:

Looking at the entire picture, how does the river change from the beginning to the end?

Discussion: At the beginning of the Motivation Formula, we are generally seeing our challenges with anger. As we use our energy to move in a positive direction, however, our perspective changes. We “flip the switch” and begin to see our challenges with gratitude. When we can face our challenges in this manner, we can literally have an advantage over someone who hasn’t had to deal with those challenges.

WEAK THINK/STRONG THINKRequest a volunteer from the class to read the definition of WEAK THINK CHANNEL SURFING, and STRONG THINK RIDE INTO THE SHORE. Have a brief open discussion of these two concepts and times when the students have demonstrated either of these.

NOTE: As a facilitator, we must always be careful not to dominate teaching the WhyTry concepts by always talking about ourselves. We need to be comfortable with periods of silence from the class. The longer the silence continues, the closer someone will get to sharing one of their own personal examples.

Review Motivation Formula

Draw a name from the hat of class participants to select a person to review the concepts of Motivation Formula.

Discussion:Note that the PowerPoint image is a basic representation of the Motivation Formula. Encourage the student to recall to the best of their ability basic concepts connected to the Flood Zone, Lifelines, the four dams, the question, “Why Try?” and anger transformed into gratitude.

Since this may be the very first class that all the participants are attending, it may take extra en-couragement for the student to share. You as the facilitator may want to break down the formula by asking for responses connected to each of the points. For example, ask the participant, “Can you summarize what the Flood Zone means?” “Can you recall a few things connected to the con-cept of having lifelines in your life?” “Can you tell me a little bit about the importance of positive self-talk as it relates to the Motivation Formula?” etc. Remind and emphasize that at the start of


CHALLENGE:


Damage






PositiveSelf Talk

Character & Heart

Get Plugged In


Turned Outward



Po

sitive Energy





Anger Gratitude




the next class, everyone should have reviewed for themselves the core concepts and be prepared to share, as their name may be drawn out of the hat at the beginning of the class.

Looking Ahead

Discussion:Point out to the participants that in their “Game Plan” journal there is space provided for them to document their thoughts, experiences, and perspectives related to the entire Motivation Formula metaphor. Emphasize that this will need to be completed before next week’s class.

Next, direct the participants to the narrative surrounding the Weak/Strong Think exercise pertain-ing to the “All or Nothing Lawyer” balloon and the “Shades of Grey” weight. Emphasize that this also will need to be completed by next week.

Participants will also need to document responses to the weekly Motivation Question and Action Step outlined in their “Game Plan” journal.

Last slideShow the cover slide once again, playing music to send students off until next week.


TOOLKIT - The Motivation Formula

Essay: How Christian Moore applied the Motivation Formula

I came up with these principles by observing people I respected and by reading biographies of great men and women. I started to notice that they all had challenges, but that they turned any anger that came from the challenge into motivation. Many had people in their lives that believed in them when they didn’t believe in themselves (surrendering the one-up relationship.) These people also focused their “self-talk” on what they could control. They went through the motions and didn’t give up, often out of respect for someone who cared about them (character and heart). Those who channeled their challenges seemed always to have a passion or purpose, and often used it to help others; this seems to be very healing for them. Lastly, the great men and women I studied and observed were “plugged in” to many resources and supports, but it took time to de-velop great support systems. In my own life, one of my challenges was getting a Master’s degree despite my learning disabil-ities. When I was in grade school, I channeled this challenge at times into the “flood zone” by acting out. On the other hand, when I went to college, I took the energy from the challenge and fear of not being able to support my family or myself and used it as motivation. The motivation did not come immediately. I had to find the seeds of motivation illustrated in this analogy of water and dams. A milestone in helping me out of the “flood zone” occurred the first time a professor surrendered the one-up relationship. Although I was failing most of the tests, the professor didn’t focus on my failures, but on my potential, and put effort into pulling me up. Even though I felt like a failure, being treated positively gave me motivation to try harder. Next, my self-talk while in college resembled the following: “I will study 50 to 100 hours to pass this test. I will prove people wrong. I can make a living. Education will give me more opportunity, freedom, and personal strength.” Although this self-talk helped me, in overwhelming times, posi-tive self-talk was not enough. I decided to leave my cognitive self-talk and go from my brain to my heart. I started to notice that one of my greatest motivators was relationships. I would study 50 hours to pass a test because of my love for my wife and others who believed in me. I defined this earlier as character and heart. Once I had the positive self-talk and character and heart, my passion, purpose, and interest be-came my motivation. My passion is social work and giving others these seeds of motivation. This passion gives me the energy to keep trying when I have challenges in my personal and work life. I soon started to notice that this passion for social work quickly got me plugged into great peo-ple who became my support system. This support system continually motivates me to apply my passion, to use positive self-talk (which they often modeled for me), and to not give up—both out of respect for them and for myself, which is the dam of character and heart. Although my support system also knows my failures, they focus on my potential successes. They understand what sur-rendering the one-up relationship means. Finally, this formula helps me take my anger and chal-lenges and convert the pain into positive motivation, healing, opportunity, freedom, and personal strength, which are the answers to the question, “Why Try?”



Essay: Obstacles are the Stepping Stones of Success

By Harvey Mackay (www.mackay.com)

A man was walking in the park one day when he came upon a cocoon with a small opening. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It looked like it had gotten as far as it could, so the man decided to help the butterfly. He used his pocketknife and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to emerge was natural. It was nature’s way of forcing fluid from its body into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If we were allowed to go though life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly. History has shown us that the most celebrated winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. My good friend, Lou Holtz, football coach of the University of South Carolina, once told me, “Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” Beethoven composed his greatest works after becoming deaf. George Washington was snowed in through a treacherous winter at Valley Forge. Abraham Lincoln was raised in poverty. Albert Einstein was called a slow learner, retarded and uneducable. If Christopher Columbus had turned back, no one could have blamed him, considering the constant adversity he endured. As an elementary student, actor James Earl Jones (a.k.a. Darth Vader) stuttered so badly he communicated with friends and teachers using written notes. Itzhak Perlman, the incomparable concert violinist, was born to parents who survived a Nazi concentration camp and has been paralyzed from the waist down since the age of four. Chester Carlson, a young inventor, took his idea to 20 big corporations in the 1940s. After seven years of rejections, he was able to persuade Haloid, a small company in Rochester, N.Y., to purchase the rights to his electrostatic paper- copying process. Haloid has since become Xerox Corporation. Thomas Edison tried over 2,000 experiments before he was able to get his light bulb to work. Upon being asked how he felt about failing so many times, he replied, “I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2,000-step process.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt, elected President of the United States for four terms, had been stricken with polio at the age of 39. Persistence paid off for General Douglas MacArthur. After applying for admission to West Point twice, he applied a third time and was accepted. The rest is history. In 1927, the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School instructed student Lucille Ball to, “Try any other profession. Any other.” Buddy Holly was fired from the Decca record label in 1956 by Paul Cohen, Nashville “Artists and Repertoire Man.” Cohen called Holly “the biggest no-talent I ever worked with.” Helen Keller, the famous blind author and speaker, said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. Silver is purified in fire and so are we. It is in the most trying times that our real character is shaped and revealed.”

The moral: There is no education like the university of adversity.



Learning Activity: Mind Over Matter

Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space requiredActivity Type: GroupGroup Size: 1 or moreTime: 5-10 minutes

Introduction: A lot of our success in achieving goals depends on our ability to put “mind over matter.” We have more power in our minds than we ever use. There is a term called self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that what we think is what will take place. This is similar to the benefits of “positive self-talk” and “believing in change.” This activity is designed to help students realize the power of the mind in accomplishing goals, and the effect the mind can have on our actions and abilities.

Materials:• 1 15-inch piece of string per student• 1 Lifesaver candy per student

Activity: Give each student a 15-inch piece of string with a Lifesaver tied to one end. Have each student hold their string up in front of their face so that the Lifesaver hangs about six inches from their eyes. Their arms, elbows, and hands must not be touching anything, such as a desk or a chair. Now have them stop the Lifesaver from swinging by using their other hand to stop its motion. Tell them that they are going to make the Lifesaver start to swing by just using their mind power. Have them focus carefully on the Lifesaver and think, “left, right,” while imagining it moving from left to right. While they are doing this, you will be saying slowly, “Left, right, left, right.” Repeat this phrase over and over until the Lifesavers start to swing back and forth. Most of the students will have their Lifesavers moving left and right. This is because the mind sends signals to the hand to move the Lifesaver in the same direction as the command you are giving. The success de-pends on the fine motor development of the students as well as how hard they are concentrating.

If you really want to amaze them, change the commands from “left to right” to “front, back” or “around and around” and have them focus on the same movement. For advanced students, you can start the Lifesavers moving in a circle and then change the direction and make the Lifesaver move in a circle in the opposite way.

Processing the Experience:• How many of you were able to make the Lifesaver move just by thinking about the Lifesaver • moving?• How powerful is our mind as it relates to what our body does?• How do our actions influence what we think and say to ourselves?• In what kinds of activities or behaviors do our thoughts or self-talk impact what we do?• How does what we think and our “self-talk” impact our goals and future?• How/where does this activity connect to the Motivation Formula metaphor?



Learning Activity: Silver Lining

Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space requiredActivity Type: GroupGroup Size: 2 or moreTime: 10 minutes

Introduction: We have all heard the expressions; “Every cloud has a silver lining,” or “Look on the bright side.” The message of these is to see the positive possibilities in seemingly negative situ-ations. When channeling energy into overcoming challenges, seeing the potential benefits on the other side of the dam is essential. This activity is designed to help students find the silver lining in challenging situations.

Materials:• Blackboard or whiteboard• Silver Lining Worksheet

Activity: Discuss with participants what the saying; “Every cloud has a silver lining” means. Explain that they are going to practice looking for the silver lining in difficult or unpleasant situations. Give participants an example such as, “It’s a rainy, damp, and cold day, and now I can’t go for a walk.” Have participants brainstorm the positive scenarios that can emerge from this situation.

Pass out the silver lining worksheets so that everyone has their own. Have participants complete the five, “I hate it when….” statements.

Go around the room and have participants state a couple of their statements.

After participants have expressed some of their, “I hate it when…” statements, have them write down a possible silver lining response to each of their “I hate it when” statements.

Go around the room and have participants state a couple of their silver lining statements.

Processing the Experience:• Let’s share some of the statements and “silver linings.”• How difficult was it to finish the phrase, “I hate it when…”?• How difficult was it to think of positive “silver lining” responses?• When facing a challenge, how can looking for a “silver lining” be beneficial and helpful to us?



Worksheet: Silver Lining

1. I hate it when: __________________________________________________________________

2. I hate it when: __________________________________________________________________

3. I hate it when: __________________________________________________________________

4. I hate it when: __________________________________________________________________

5. I hate it when: __________________________________________________________________

1. ________________________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________________________________________

Name: _________________________________________



Learning Activity: Synergy

Spatial Requirements: Classroom with moderate space requiredActivity Type: Movement/groupGroup Size: 8-20Time: 15-20 minutes

Introduction: There are two things that help increase motivation: First, a passion or interest, and second, plugging in to a “support system.” This activity is designed to help students see that their abilities can be increased by learning from the passions, interests, and strengths of the people in their support system. They will learn that by working together, they can accomplish much more than they could on their own.

Materials:• Timer• 1 pen or pencil per team• 1 piece of paper for each team

Activity: Divide the class into teams of four or five and have them sit in a circle. Give each team a writing utensil and a piece of paper. Explain to the students that the object of the activity is to work as a team to create the longest list of answers possible from the categories that you give them. They are to pass a piece of paper around the circle with each person adding one answer to the list. A team may not have any duplicate answers. As the paper is passed around, they are not allowed to talk. If one person cannot think of an answer, they must write the word “skip” on the paper and then pass it to the next person. They continue to pass the paper around the circle for 60 seconds. When time has expired, each group will report their total number of answers (skips do not count). Then have each team read their list. Repeat a couple of times using new categories and starting with different people.

Next, play a few rounds where the group is allowed to talk, brainstorm, and suggest answers to the player who has the piece of paper at the moment. Explain that the paper must still be passed from person to person, with each student writing down an answer before it is passed on to the next person. The “skip” rule may still be used, but with the group helping, no one will likely have a need for it.

Categories provided in the WhyTry Corrections PowerPoint Presentation are:1. Animals with four legs2. Professional basketball teams3. Television shows4. Professional football teams5. Musical instruments6. Food served at restaurants


Processing the Experience:

• How did being able to talk to each other help the team?• What role does a person’s passion and interest play into how much they know about some-

thing? • How did being able to talk to each other help the team?• What role does a person’s passion and interest play into how much they know about some-

thing?



Song: Change Up

Let’s set this thing off right, It’s the game of lifeToday is the day where we can make things rightThe crowd goes crazy as we take the fieldAll the world is here to see who’s keeping it real

There’s no time to talk now, it’s time to walk nowThe world’s on the watch now from LA to MoscowHow did this team that was labeled the worstSwitch up their game and regain the position as first?

They did away with the curse that said we was losersEven when life left them battered and bruised it’sAmazing to see not even complacencyCould keep them out the game and today they be

The best in the world, on top of the leagueThey worked through the hurt heartache and fatigueThey re-routed the doubt and all the painAnd this was the shout that won them the game

CHORUS: It’s time for the change up turn your flames upWe rearranged the game, It’s how we came upPain is the fire that brews the steam that canInspire you to pursue your dreams again

A setbackis a setup for a comebackI was on a one track/one that/ left me crashing/ flashback to the fast cash and last calls/ fat stashmeant that/ life’s fast ball/was ever passing/

I was battin’,but swinging a lead batSo sick and tired/of being sick and tired/Have you ever said that?I had to rewireto get my head back‘cause check that doing the same thingYou can’t expect new results reflecting,


I had to bring life’s train to a haltI thought my father’s abuse was my ticket looseMy ticket to kick it and to be inflicted with booze

I had to choose to change up to find the real meAnd for my actions learn responsibilityHope filled me like steam and made it possibleTo fuel my dream to achieve all my goals

(CHORUS)

The heaviness of pain now can even weigh a train downThat hurt in your soul is like coal, let me explain howA train made a change and overcame a mountainOne that before it was unable to conquer

You see this train y’all hadn’t had a steady roadAnd because of the pain it had gained a heavy loadOne filled with anger from all of the abuseBut it didn’t give up so it didn’t ever lose

But then one day the train was thrown off balanceAs it approached the mountain of great challengeHe charged up the mountain but because of the load It quickly stopped and in shock began to back pedal

The train got inspired and he used the coalTo increase his fire to help him reach his goalHe got to the top and couldn’t believeThe coal of pain helped him to reach his dream

(CHORUS)



Song: Face the Challenge

You can use the stress you feelYou can use the hurt to healThere’s a formula right here to educate youIt can help you ride realityYou’ll see your problems differentlyIf you work this plan is sure to elevate you

CHORUS:Face the challenge that faces youKnow the worth of your point of viewDon’t get stuck in the flooded zoneSee the problem as a stepping stoneAn obstacle can be the road to opportunity

Trials happen big and smallNo one can avoid them allSometimes you end up bogged down in the mudFind your purpose, take controlLet that passion guide your goalYou don’t have to stay inside the flood

(CHORUS) (repeat)

If you’re gonna go the distanceStay off the path of least resistanceWith the life you have to liveRespect yourself enough to giveWith character heart and good attitudeTurn the anger into gratitudeThat is my communicationIt’s how you’ll find the motivation

CHORUS 2:Face the challenge that faces youYou have the power to make it throughDon’t get stuck in the flooded zoneYou are not in this aloneAn obstacle can be the road to opportunity

the motivation formula - whytry:...

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