the pulse 9.08 » feb. 23-29, 2012

the bowl

» lISteN UP, RoCK CItY!RARELY A MONTH GOES BY WITHOUT A hot New bAND PLAYING TOWN. WE HAVE A CORE GROUP OF CLUBS TO THANK FOR THAT

ARTS oKAY, MoUNtAIN!irony, satire on display at cress

Feb. 23-29, 2012

Chattanooga’s weekly Alternative

MUSIC whoReMoNeSall-Girl Band revives raMones

“we ❤ type” Issue

the MASteRS, No jACKet ReqUIReD » DAYtRIPPeR: AtlANtA HIGH ART, KITSCH & FUNK FOUNd ANd CURATEd

dIZZYTOWN SANtoRIUMriGHteoUs ricK in HiXson

hIStoRY, ChANNeleD » WHEN THE NEW ChAttANooGA hIStoRY CeNteR OPENS LATER THIS YEAR, dIRECTOR DARYl blACK WILL REVEAL THE CITY, WARTS ANd ALL

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

EDITORIALPublisher Zachary cooperCreative Director Bill RamseyContributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsnychuck crowder • michael crumb • John DeVoreBrook evans • Randall gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-habib Janis hashe • matt Jones • chris Kelly • D.e. langley mike mcJunkin • ernie Paik • alex Teach Richard WinhamCartoonists Rick Baldwin • max cannonJesse Reklaw • Tom TomorrowPhotography Josh lang • lesha PattersonInterns Britton catignani • Kinsey elliottmolly Farrell • Rachel saunders

ADVERTISINGSales Director lysa greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick leavell

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COVER STORY

history in the Making• Dr. Daryl Black is the guiding force behind the new Chattanooga History Center. Janis hashe takes a look behind the scenes. » 9Daryl Black photographed by Lesha Patterson

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The idea stemmed from a pinky promise. Since form-ing Paper Antler Photography in 2008, the Hoffners have teamed with She Dances, a Birmingham-based non-profit, to donate 10 percent of their proceeds to the cause. She Dances is committed to providing holistic restoration for young girls who have been trafficked and sexually ex-ploited in Honduras. Having heard that the organization was opening a safe home in that Central American coun-try, the Hoffners developed an idea for the tour and made a pinky promise to carry the plan through.

“Going down and meeting the girls in the safe home in person really put a face to this growing epidemic,” said Mi-chelle.

After announcing the tour last winter, the couple had the opportunity to visit the home and meet the girls living there and receiving professional care.

“This is our effort to not be weighed down by the mag-nitude of the problem and to do what we can with our lives and with our jobs to make a difference,” she said.

Almost a year later, the plan

has been set in action and the adventure has begun. Chat-tanooga was the second stop on the ever-expanding tour. The Hoffners planned most of their stops as they began to book, creating somewhat of a regional travel guide. How-ever, plans changed and now they are traveling cross-coun-try at more of a track-and-field sprint, booking gigs along the way. Having confirmed 35 weddings, they have reached 70 percent of their goal. They will continue to book as inter-est grows, but they are mak-ing strides to encourage wed-ding planners and event ven-dors to match their donation to the cause in order to reach their $50,000 goal.

Couples from across the country have contacted the Hoffners about the cause and are interested in becom-ing involved through their special day. Word of the tour has spread through referrals, word of mouth and endorse-ments through blogs, and the Hoffners do what they can to portray the quirkiness, joy and beauty of a moment.

Jonny and Michelle are as adventuresome, imaginative and honest as the work they produce. Jonny, a one-time rancher, and Michelle, from Ghana-bound to photography found, are certainly worth watching. In fact, another supplementary fundraising effort can be found on their website, thefiftynifty.com. If you donate to She Dances on Tuesday Pledge Day, Jonny just might karaoke for you and post it on their blog.

To stay informed about their travels and listen to in-teresting stories—think eye patches and hypnosis—follow them on Facebook or Twitter (#fiftynifty).

—Kinsey Elliott

trent creswell has, yet again, something to cele-brate. Having left Chattanoo-ga upon graduation from the Center for Creative Arts in 2009, Creswell found success in his studies at Sarah Law-rence College in New York. Most recently, Creswell re-ceived the Outstanding Arts School Alumnus Award dur-ing the national conference of Arts Schools Network, the nation’s largest professional

membership organization of specialized schools.

The award is given annu-ally to one former ASN-mem-ber school student whose commitment to excellence is shown through accomplish-ments in the areas of citi-zenship, arts and academics. Since relocating to New York, Creswell has refined his craft in a variety of works, includ-ing writing, producing and acting in several of them.

Creswell received the award on Jan. 26, but Chatta-nooga has reaped the benefits of his shared artistic achieve-ments through community theater productions as well as CCA programs. And after his remarkable recovery from a near-fatal traffic accident in the summer of 2008, Cre-swell’s inspiration seems to have grown feverishly.

During his senior year at the Center for Creative Arts, Creswell won the Creative Non-Fiction Award from the National Foundation for Ad-vancement in the Arts for his autobiographical piece “Auto-Bike-Ography; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Cody Pinson,” and was subsequently honored as a Presidential Scholar of the Arts nominee. In 2010, he was the recipient of the Ed-ward Albee Fellowship, from the Edward Albee Founda-tion.

His innovative theater productions have been per-formed at the Baryshnikov Center, The Neofuturists, Mary Archie and The Rattle-stick Playwright’s Theatre. Creswell also penned a new translation of Anton Chek-hov’s “Uncle Vanya” at Sarah Lawrence, and directed and starred in a production of the play.

—Kinsey Elliott

TALK OF ThE NOOG FACEBOOK/chaTTanoogaPulse • EMAIL: [email protected]

tHeBoWLJonny & Michelle’sFifty Nifty adventurewedding bells rang in chattanooga over the weekend and Jonny and Michelle Hoffner breezed into town to photograph the party for a good cause. The Min-neapolis-based couple set a goal to photograph 50 wed-dings in 50 states, all within 50 weeks. This plan, aptly titled the Fifty Nifty Tour, was designed to raise $50,000 for victims of human trafficking.

PASSING ThROUGh

Photographers tour the country, shooting 50 weddings in 50 states in 50 weeks, raising money to fight human trafficking.

when track 29 announced last week that Jack White (he of the White Stripes and erstwhile Nashville resident) would open his solo tour at the venue in support of his debut solo album, “Blunderbuss,” Face-book exploded. White doesn’t tour often, so his legion of fans were eager to procure a ticket to his brief four-show tour launch-ing in Chattanooga and continuing to Bir-mingham, Memphis and Tulsa. That’s it, so far. Demand for tickets was overwhelming, if that’s not too much of an understatement, and soon exhausted, leaving those without to accuse Track 29’s servers of buckling un-der the substantial activity.

Not true. Even The Pulse initially bought into the accusations, but the fact is that an artist of White’s popularity quickly ex-ceeded the availability of tickets in a mat-ter of minutes—simple math. Many con-cluded the venue was not experienced nor equipped to handle such a show, but Track 29 is very much in control. While its capac-ity is relatively small, the venue has booked (and quickly sold out) enough concerts to earn itself a reputation for professionalism few young venues of its type can claim.

Which may be exactly why White—and before him, The Avett Brothers—chose Track 29 and Chattanooga. All things con-sidered, it’s an extraordinary development for the city’s live music scene, and one that should be celebrated (even if you did not get a ticket). And while Track 29 is bring-ing touring acts previously unimaginable to town, they are not alone in transforming Chattanooga into a rock ‘n’ roll hot spot, a town once ignored but now considered not only worthy but increasingly pivotal.

Consider JJ’s Bohemia, a vital if improb-ably tiny club which routinely books such a wildly eclectic mix of local, regional and national acts, it’s no stretch to believe at least a few will be vaulted to stardom. In recent months, bands such as the Alabama Shakes and Cloud Nothings have graced its cramped stage. The Shakes were recently featured on Conan O’Brien’s late-night show and Cloud Nothings are gathering critical mass so quickly they are no longer likely to be seen in such an intimate space again. Need proof? About two hours before their show, the Nothings passed the Black Keys in album sales on iTunes.

Across the river at Sluggo’s, where pre-

The Noog: Rock’s best-kept secret?

ROCK, CITY

NOTABLE NOOGANS

Former CCA student receives national arts award


editoon RICK BALDWIN

get out your sweater vests, Chattanooga! Dark Horse douchebag-turned-potential Republican front-runner Rick San-torum comes to town on Saturday, Feb. 25, for a Chattanooga Tea Party event at Abba’s House in Hixson.

In a Right-Side Edito-rial in the schizophrenic Times Free Press last Sunday, the giddily delu-sional Free Pressers hailed Santorum the Republican Party’s front-runner of-the-moment, noting he leads Mitt Romney by 7 percentage points in the Volunteer State. Only edi-torial and sports writers ever refer to Tennessee as the “Volunteer State,” but nevermind that.

Santorum is a particu-larly offensive human be-ing whose views of Amer-ica are lodged in an era thankfully long gone yet still embraced by a stal-

wart brand of sheltered, fear-mongers dead set on preserving American Val-ues, circa 1950.

That Santorum is lead-ing in various polls is more about the party’s jangling nerves than the ex-sena-tor’s popularity. Romney’s Rollercoaster President-

or-Bust Tour continues to zig-zag across the Union as his “message” is con-tinually unmasked as nothing more than naked ambition backed by ... na-ked ambition. And Newt GingRich? If it weren’t for the SuperPacs, funded by oddball super-rich pa-trons, acts like Newt and Ron Paul would be over by now. How long does it take for Joe Six-Pack to understand this, we won-der? But maybe it’s Joe 18-Pack these days—or maybe 24.

To the delight of many, Sanctimonious Santorum will be preaching to the Lemming Choir in Hix-son, as Free Press fans tout Santorum’s alleged fiscal expertise and paint him as the candidate to face Obama. But that’s all he is: A candidate—with little else but extremist views and a sweater vest.

Pray for rain.

Abba’s House turns SantoriumDIZZYTOWN

sumably no show is too big to under pro-mote, the Pine Hill Haints appeared seem-ingly out of nowhere to the amazement of a crowd who couldn’t believe such a band was playing Chattanooga with such little awareness. Indeed, a hand-scrawled hand-bill tacked on the wall of the Pickle Barrel was sole evidence of the band’s Valentine’s Day show.

Elsewhere, at Rhythm & Brews, long a stalwart space for numerous classic rock and tribute bands of significant popularity, continues to book outside of the box, bring-ing such eclectic acts as Amy Ray (of the Indigo Girls) and the enormously respected James McMurtry to its stage. The Honest Pint is yet another star in this loose con-figuration of hot spots, bringing such acts as The Features to town while forwarding the careers of a full slate of top-notch local bands such as The Bohannons performing to appreciative audiences.

When The Avett Brothers’ sold-out, year-end show at Track 29 was included in an online portfolio of photographs at rolling-stone.com (photographed by Chattanoogan Allie Clarke and curated by Rolling Stone online editor and Chattanoogan Julie Holder), it was reported with much ado here and elsewhere. Such events have been so few and far between, the local media (in-cluding The Pulse) view them as startling national exposure. That’s changing.

Chattanooga’s strategic location be-tween Nashville and Atlanta is one link in the chain, but that road has been well travelled by bands since the dawn of popu-lar music. And concentrations of artists in such Tennessee cities such as Memphis and Nashville is not news. If the Noog is truly developing a reputation as the country’s best-kept music scene secret, it is because of the constellation of creative clubs and the visionary owners behind these venues who we should acknowledge.

What is also no secret but should be evi-dent to anyone associated with the music scene in Chattanooga is that a vital, explo-sive, diverse group of venues—and therein lies the magical synchronicity—are bring-ing cutting-edge, next-big-thing bands to town on such a routine basis that many are on to that Next Big Thing before locals can say, “I saw them at JJ’s.”

Last Sunday, one Facebook friend of ours noticed (almost too late) that Kelley Deal of The Breeders was performing with Mike Montgomery in the casual duo known as R. Ring. The show was advertised in the club’s weekly ad in The Pulse, but little else was mentioned. It’s another example of the un-derstated, unexpected and under-the-radar acts the city’s maverick clubs are bringing to town. Chattanooga doesn’t expect that. Pay attention, Rock City.

Jack White tickets, anyone? —Bill Ramsey

Detail from this week’s “This Modern World” by Tom Tomorrow. See Page 19.


I looked into the carport and saw that the scrap wood from a recent project was neatly placed into stacks according to dimen-sions and length. I’d collated my scrap lumber more efficiently by placing it in storage (and using it to create the storage itself) yet despite this semblance of order, something was still missing. Just … out of reach.

It was maddening.A buddy stopped by after I’d

offered a loan of a laser level, and it seemed appropriate to offer him a Guest Beer I kept nearby for just these occasions. (I rarely drink beer, myself; it’s an insult to liquor, and it tends to make me feel “funny” after a bit.)

He opened the door to my backup refrigerator, and as he reached in he froze in place.

“Dude,” he said, never tak-ing his eyes off the refrigerated prize. “Your fridge. Everything is facing the same way.”

“Duh,” I replied. “Why? What’s up?”

“Every can, everything, even the … is this cheese? It’s all fac-ing the same way. There must be 50 cans, bottles and boxes in

here.” His head shook quickly, as if just waking up. “This is creepy.”

“It brings me comfort. It’s no big deal. Please take it from the right side though, yeah?”

He lingered a moment, looked at me, then grabbed a Sam Ad-am’s Light and shrugged his shoulders.

Comfort. Is it such a bad thing?

I know I do these things, but why is it wrong? I’m just responding to a truth that few have realized or will at least admit to: That “control” is an illusion. A pipe dream. Sure, we can direct things in a likely direction in most cases, and at least nudge them in others, but in the end, we’re all just passen-gers in a car that no one is al-lowed to drive.

I’d talked with this same

friend at work a few weeks back about a pedestrian who had been struck in front of head-quarters a few years ago. The guy had been crossing the State Highway at about 3 a.m. and ap-parently didn’t think it was nec-essary to look both ways. Un-fortunately, “most” of his body made it into the car through the windshield. (By “most” I mean the “head and torso part;” if I got more graphic you may be-come sad, and I’m in the busi-ness of smiles, of course.)

Another car was pulling into headquarters just seconds af-ter this happened and inad-vertently ran over what I shall politely describe as “one of the other guys legs.” By coincidence this man (the driver of the sec-ond car) was one of the three people on this Earth I call a true friend, and it really bugged him. (He still ate the lunch he’d been out to get as he was de-briefed by traffic investigators, but that’s a quality that made him a rare friend.)

The driver of the first car, though? Gone. Catatonic. He even sat in his car for several moments after the event try-ing to process the unexpected recently departed who was now occupying (and also making a horrific mess in) the passenger seat of his Saturn.

I’ve actually wondered what

ever happened to that poor soul these many years later. How do you get past that? But that’s an-other topic.

My partner and I talked it over. The former pedestrian (let’s call him “Humpty”) had just been in a convenience store before his death. What if the cashier had counted his change out a little more slowly? What

if the driver of the car had left his wallet at the establishment he’d left, and had to go back for it? Consider the mind-numbing sequence of events it took to bring their paths to that (lit-eral) intersection at that exact same time.

Control. An illusion, albeit a pleasant one.

So if you want all the lines on your carpet or your lawn to be parallel after vacumming or mowing, or you collate T-shirts by topic (po-lice, Hard Rock, casual, political, humor), or you alphabetize your DVD’s, or have a dozen strategically placed umbrella’s to confront rain’s un-predictable nature, what’s the big deal?

Comfort is what you make of it—particularly when you have a birds-eye view of the final random dice-rolls people get on this Earth. Let me and those like me have that. And take your drinks from the right side, please, so I can ... yes, excellent, thank you. Oh, you seemed to nudge the one next to it, would you mind, uh ... Great, thanks.

No, I’ll restock it later.

You Call it OCD, I Call it Comforton the Beat ALEx TEACh

Alex Teach is a full-time po-lice officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions ex-pressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach.

i was vacuuming my garage a few days ago as i normally do (though only once a month, maybe twice—I’m not weird or anything) when I got the distinct feeling that something was wrong. Missing. Lacking, perhaps.

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“I’m just responding to a truth: That ‘control’ is an illusion. A pipe dream. Sure, we can direct things in a likely direction in most cases, and at least nudge them in others, but in the end, we’re all just passengers in a car that no one is allowed to drive.


A Typeface to Call Our Own

“It’s a connecting point for everybody to feel proud of the city,” said Robbie de Villiers of Wilton Foundry. He and Jeremy Dooley of Insigne De-sign are the professional type designers creating Chatype. They are two out of about 300 type designers worldwide.

“That’s really the goal, couched in the project of a typeface: to pull everyone in and say ‘we are Chattanoo-ga,’” said Jonathan Mansfield. He and DJ Trischler are co-owners of D+J Brand Con-sulting and serve as Chatype’s art directors.

In Europe it’s second na-ture for cities to have their own typeface, according to de Villiers, but not in the U.S. Minneapolis recently went through what he called “an academic exercise” to develop its own typeface. Lots of good ideas surfaced but there was no adoption by city leaders.

To make Chatype the first implemented city typeface in the U.S., the designers decided to go viral. After a team of 11 people launched Chatype with a website and business plan during the 48Hour Launch last Novem-ber, the design team launched a crowdsourced funding cam-paign in January using Kick-starter.

Seeking to capture Chat-tanooga in a typeface, the de-signers did what urban place makers have done before them. They looked at the city’s

history and its visual charac-ter now, both in the built en-vironment and in the type-faces Chattanooga designers are using. They took inspira-tion from the Cherokee sylla-bary, created by Sequoyah not far from Chattanooga. They found that the Walnut Street Bridge has something in common with classic Roman type: both reflect the “golden ratio,” a series of aesthetical-ly pleasing proportions that have been used by designers of all kinds for centuries.

Chatype is actually a family of typefaces, including four weights: thin, regular, me-dium and bold. The medium weight also includes a stencil style set (where letters have breaks in them like stencils). Although the type designs

shown so far may seem finished, the letterforms are still being tweaked, and much more work behind the scenes is required to make the type-face complete and usable for design projects. The price tag for creating a custom typeface is typically about $10,000, which is the amount the Kick-starter campaign is seeking.

Pressed for a technical de-scription of the typeface, the team settles on “futuristic rounded geometric slab serif with historical overtones.” But it’s clear that they are more interested in connec-tions than technical specifi-cations.

“This type feels like Chatta-nooga, but it doesn’t feel like MLK or Lookout or North Shore. It’s unique,” said Man-sfield. “It feels kind of rug-ged. It smells like industry but it feels like technology. It’s friendly and warm but not like a puppy. It’s funny because type design is such a mathematical, technically skilled art, but all that’s con-tributing to the emotional in-teraction that someone has or doesn’t have with it.”

“An art director I worked under used to always chal-lenge me to create a crystal goblet,” said Trischler, “which is something extremely beau-tiful, but that you can see through and see what’s inside. Often what makes beautiful design is that it just fits into your life, it doesn’t distract you too much.”

“You could use it for a trail race or for a meeting with all the geeks in town to talk about the Gig,” said Dooley. “It can work for all ends of

the spectrum, from outdoorsy stuff

to futuristic stuff to just Chattanooga stuff.”

R e a c t i o n to Chatype

has been over-w h e l m i n g l y

positive, and just plain overwhelming.

“We thought it would be big, and it’s huge,” said Man-sfield.

Support has been growing in Chattanooga ever since Chatype first went pub-lic at 48Hour Launch. But the Kickstarter campaign brought Chatype raves and fi-nancial support from all over the world.

“A lot of designers are com-menting, saying ‘I wish my city had a typeface,’” said Trischler. “One was in Ger-man. All I could understand was ‘love it.’” A student in London tweeted “Never thought I would want to live in America but this place looks pretty cool.”

Although most of the mon-ey pledged so far has come from Chattanooga, most do-nors are from overseas, the west coast and Chicago. With a week left in their Kickstart-er campaign, the creative team is more interested in getting lots of people involved than in collecting lots of dol-lars.

“We would love to have a bunch of $1 donations en masse from Chattanoogans,” said Mansfield.

“If 500 people gave a dol-lar that would be huge,” said Trischler, “because we can take it to the city and say these are votes. People are putting their money where their mouth is. Support from Iceland is great, but local is better.”

Chatype aims to be the first implemented typeface in the U.S. And designers are going viral with a Kickstarter campaign that’s drawing worldwide support.

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four local designers are pushing for another Chattanooga first: to make Chattanooga the first Amer-ican city with its own typeface. Ever since a sample of Chatype debuted late last year, it’s gotten rave reviews and growing support. The creative team recently sat down with The Pulse and stressed that Chatype is about much more than nicely shaped letters.


High Art, Low Culture Minutes Apart

By Bill Ramsey

when i was a teenager in the 1970s, my mother wasted no opportunity to vacate the bucolic confines of our

Hixson suburb to connect with the cultural offerings of Atlanta. She was a painter and a lover of modern art, so the High Museum of Art was always a high for her. But as much as she tried, she failed to instill a sense of appreciation for museums in me and my fa-ther. Upon returning, my Dad would, after a few drinks, imagine himself a “Modern Master,” creating his own Sharpie master-

pieces of astronomical value on a legal pad that would leave me in howls of laughter. Mother was not amused.

She did not live to discover that I grew not only to appre-ciate art, but to have visited some of the world’s finest mu-seums—in Paris, New York, Los Angeles—and enjoy our city’s fine Hunter Museum as well. On a recent Daytripper jaunt to Atlanta, I rediscovered the High, fairly dripping in enthusiasm to view “Picasso to Warhol: Fourteen Modern Masters,” which opened last fall and continues through

April 29. Do not miss this.With more than 100

works from 14 seminal 20th century artists, even my former self could appreci-ate this exhibit. “Picasso to Warhol” is one of the largest concentrations of modern art masterpieces to ever be exhibited in the southeast-ern United States, and it is nothing less than a star-tling walk through art his-tory.

The exhibit features less than 10 works from each artist, but the magic exists in encountering such mas-terpieces like Picasso’s “Girl in the Mirror,” pictured at left, which opens the exhib-it, and pairing them with examples of early, lesser known works one would not associate with the art-ist. It’s a rapid timewarp of evolving style, and ut-terly absorbing. And brief. But that’s the point, I sup-pose. Modern art has de-veloped equally as rapidly. In no time, you’re viewing masterworks from Picasso, Matisse and Mondrian, Du-champ and Pollock, then

Jasper Johns (the exhibit’s only living artist and its local connection—Johns was born in Augusta) and Warhol, whose pieces bookend the exhibit.

The highlights are many, but it’s the opportunity to view up close these pieces we know so well that delights. A print of Picasso’s “Girl in the Mir-ror” hung in my childhood home. The graphic designer in me closely examined Mondrian’s “Composition No. II, with Red and Blue,” inspired by New York’s street grids. I laughed yet very much appreciated Duchamp’s ““In Advance of the Broken Arm,” an example of his “readymade” works—in this case, a sim-ple snow shovel he signed, dated and de-clared “art”—suspended from the ceil-ing. I continue to regard Jackson Pol-lock as a serious man who was less seri-ous about his best-known “drip” works. Johns’ work I regarded with a careful

eye—he is, after all, still alive and cre-ating. And I viewed in awe Warhol’s Campbell Soup can collection, as well as his silk-screened Brillo and Heinz boxes and self-portrait. I sat for longer than I expected watching his “Screen Test” films, short portraits of celebrity visitors to The Factory. Watching a young Lou Reed drink Coke at slow speed is more fascinating than you’d imagine.

The tour ends, of course, in the gift shop, where you’ll find countless ex-amples of the masterpieces you’ve just viewed turned into tacky souvenirs. Or maybe not. I’d like to think Picasso—and certainly Warhol—would appreciate the cartoon finger-puppets in their images. I bought the exhibit poster, which is avail-able in Picasso’s “Girl” or Warhol’s Camp-bell’s Soup cans. I asked the shopgirl which sold better. She crinkled her face and peered at me behind heavy black glasses and said, “It’s a matter of taste, isn’t it?” Exactly.

But because I have inherited more than my fair share of my father’s amuse-ment at such high-brow adventures, I thirsted for the opposite—not low-brow, but certainly low culture. The antidote was only a few miles away in Little Five Points, where I wandered through The Junkman’s Daughter, which is a ware-house for every gag gift Spencer’s Gifts ever offered—and more. Only steps away is The Vortex, whose skull entry beckoned me into another type of mu-seum, this one a collection of Americana less curated than calculated. Here, reg-ulars and visitors consume enormous burgers and pop tater tots like others at Atlanta’s tony hotels nibble on premium nut mixes.

Fully satiated, I returned to my mid-town hotel, the Meliá, whose lobby is itself something of an art installation, with its Euro feel, thumping music and exotic staff. On this evening, the hotel welcomed cowboys from the Profes-sional Bull Riders Circuit and teenage cheerleaders competing in a national competition. Weird and delightful all at once, much like my daylong tour.

Visit Atlanta to catch a flight, catch a concert or pro sports game, but play hooky one weekday and reacquaint yourself with its culture. You won’t be disappointed.

Daytripper: Atlanta

VISIT“Picasso to Warhol: Fourteen Modern Masters”Through april 29, 2012high museum of art1280 Peachtree st. n.e.high.org

ShOPThe Junkman’s Daughter464 moreland ave. n.e.thejunkmansdaughter.com

EATThe Vortex438 moreland ave. n.e.thevortexbarandgrill.com

STAYhotel Meliá Atlanta590 W. Peachtree st. n.W.melia-hotels.com

READCreative Loafingatlanta’s alt-weeklyclatl.com

Modern Masters at the High, galleries of calculated low culture in Little Five Points.


Prepare to turn that museum stereotype inside out.

When the reconceived Chattanooga His-tory Center opens in the Tennessee Aquar-ium Plaza at the end of this year, it will be another crown jewel in downtown’s already glittering collection of top-notch attrac-tions. And there is no doubt it will also raise a few eyebrows—which is just fine with the center’s best advocate, its young and fervent director, Dr. Daryl Black.

Most of us remember the mandatory field trip to a local history museum. Grumbling, we piled on the bus and once there, unenthusiastically eyed a dusty collection

of artifacts supposed to have some connection to what we were learning in school.

history in the making

Innovative design, compelling narrative merge in creating the Chattanooga History Center »P10

Chattanooga History Center director Dr. Daryl Black stands in the midst of construction at the center, located in the Tennessee Aquarium Plaza.

By Janis hashe • Photos by lesha Patterson


FRIDAY 2/24THE POOL

9 pm

SATURDAY 2/25THE POOL

9 pm

SUNSUNDAY 2/26HAPPY HOUR

ALL DAY!

MONDAY 2/27MARK “PORKCHOP”

HOLDER7 pm

TUESTUESDAY 2/28$1000 SUGAR’S STAR

KARAOKE SEMI-FINALS ★ 8 pm ★ $2 Sangria ★

WEDNESDAY 2/29ROGER ALAN WADE

7:30 pm

THURSTHURSDAY 3/1THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER

with DJ BARRYDISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES

7-11 pm

“The center will tell the stories of seven major turn-ing points in Chattanooga’s history,” he says. “There has been reluctance in the past to fully deal with some parts of that history. History is acts of memory. Some of what the center will have to tell will move the community’s memo-ries in different directions.”

From side street to front and center

The Chattanooga Regional History Museum was started in an elementary school by a group of grassroots volun-teers. By 1978, it was housed at the corner of First and Chestnut Streets, where it stayed, with additional space at 401 Broad St., until 2006.

“At that point, the board of directors made a bold de-cision,” Black says. “Visitor numbers were way down. You could look out the windows and see people with small children making the decision not to brave the traffic to get to the museum.”

So the museum’s board be-gan a visioning process that ultimately included getting community input into what people wanted in a history museum, raising $10 million from private sources and community foundations, and acquiring the space formerly housing the Chattanooga Convention and Visitors Bu-reau, directly next to the aquarium.

The name was officially changed to Chattanooga His-tory Center, Black was hired, became executive director in 2009, and a world-class de-sign firm, New York’s Ralph Appelbaum Associates—whose commissions include the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. and the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville—was contracted to recreate the building from the inside out.

“The new center will tell compelling stories in a nar-rative way,” says Black, “Chat-tanooga has been the turning-point place several times in American history. There is so much story to tell.”

Referring to Hayden White’s influential essay “The Burden of History”, he explains, “Historians need to help us understand how people experienced their lives in specific times and specific places. So, we ask ‘What is history and how does it func-tion in modern society?’”

In other words, dust is out and relevance is in.

The seven storiesBlack’s major task was to

identify both the most impor-tant Chattanooga stories to

tell and work with the design team on how to tell them. The final list includes:

• The Trail of Tears. “We’ll show how it started, the con-nection with the railroads and gold,” Black says. The center’s galleries will include interviews with contempo-rary Cherokee recounting the stories of their ancestors and relating them to their lives to-day.

• Transportation. “Chat-tanooga was the center of the rail network, making it enor-mously important in that con-

nection,” Black notes.• The Civil War. In ad-

dition to the well-known battles, the center will focus on the divided loyalties of the region. “The farmers of East Tennessee had little in common with the plantation owners of the Deep South,” Black says. “However, Union-ists here were not anti-slavery but did want to preserve the Union.” He explains that one of the reasons Chattanooga’s African-American popula-tion grew so rapidly is that when the city fell to the Union

Chattanooga history Center When the new history center opens at the end of 2012, Daryl Black says he expects 69,000 visitors annually. The center will include:

• 20,000 square feet of floor space• Eleven exhibition galleries • Orientation Theater • Three Memory Installations • Crisis Theater • Story Center • Two class/meeting rooms • Museum store • Offices • Collection storage and archives

Visit the center’s website at:chattanoogahistory.org


army, thousands of slaves fled to freedom behind Union lines. This laid the foun-dation for a city that is still, according to the most recent U.S. Census, nearly 35 percent African-American. Materials in the center’s press kit state: “In Chat-tanooga, self-emancipating slaves and their descendants created one of the na-tion’s most creative and cohesive African-American communities.”

• Urban renewal projects of the

1950s and ’60s. Here Black expects what history recounts to be controver-sial. Government monies earmarked for “urban renewal” were used to push Afri-can-American populations out of areas they had traditionally occupied. Vibrant neighborhoods were destroyed and the “projects” were built. Black is convinced that Chattanooga must look at all aspects of its past in order to understand its pres-ent and future.

• The civil rights movement in Chat-tanooga. The actual voices and stories of those who participated in the lunch coun-ter sit-ins will be used, telling the story of how Howard High students decided on their own to contest “whites only” rules.

• Chattanooga’s role as one of the U.S.’s major industrial centers. The city’s rail and river systems continue to make it pivotal. “Entrepreneurs and in-dustrialists made Chattanooga one of the nation’s most diverse industrial econo-mies through the 1950s, and, in the pro-cess, created the most successful market-ing system in the world,” press materi-als state. This story will also include the downside of pollution and eventual indus-trial decay.

• The now world-famous process of revitalization, starting with Vision 2000, that continues today, and of which the center itself is an example. “It was not just about building pretty places,” Black says. “It was about making an economy work.”

“Lanterns” of informationDuring a recent “hard hat” tour of the

emerging facility, Black explained that as the center was being re-imagined in-side an existing building, one of the main challenges was “getting people from out-

side into and through the center while maintaining a good narrative flow.” Space was not the problem—there was plenty of that. But modernizing the idea of “muse-um”, and using all the tools that modern technology makes available were key.

An orientation theater will show a film describing the various ways visitors can experience the center.

Open space will co-exist with smaller, more concentrated areas called “lan-

terns”, which will serve as “memory in-stallations”, in which visitors can hear recorded interviews and view more de-tailed artifacts about the stories of the Cherokee Nation, the Civil War and con-temporary voices. QR codes in all 11 gal-leries will allow any smart phone user to immediately link to additional web sources of information related to what is on display.

Color bands, starting at the approach to the building, continuing through the front door and through the galleries will help guide visitors to and through the fa-cility, but, Black emphasizes, each person can experience the center in their own way. Some will want all the high-tech bells and whistles—others will prefer to wander untethered through the galleries and lanterns, absorbing at a different rate.

Huge windows in selected areas allow natural light and a connection to the out-doors, further distancing the center from the enclosed, cloister-like atmosphere of older museums.

Another important concept from the very beginning, he adds, was creating mid-sized meeting rooms that could be used by the community for a variety of purposes. Two of those are included in the design.

And of course, there will be a museum store, which will feature a number of lo-cally produced items related to the arti-facts and exhibits in the galleries.

“History does not exist outside the sto-ries we conjure for ourselves,” Black says. The Chattanooga History Center is being designed to both conjure those stories and add to them the stories of others, cre-ating a living narrative. Far from being dusty, history emerges as a vivid link to a past that is always with us.

“There has been reluctance in the past to fully deal with some parts of that history. History is acts of memory. Some of what the center will have to tell will move the

community’s memories in different directions.” dr. daryl black

chattanooga history center


THUR02.23

tHeLIstFeB. 23-29

MUSIC

Martin Sexton • “New folk” singer-songwriter, with Rayland Baxter.8 p.m. • Track 291400 market st. • (423) 521-2929 track29.co

EVENT

Lewis Black• Caustic, angry comic profiled last week.8 p. m. • Tivoli Theatre709 Broad st. • (423) 642-TIXs chattanoogaonstage.com

FRI02.24

SAT02.25MUSIC

Wanda Jackson• Rock’s first bad girl keeps on swinging.8 p.m. • Track 291400 market st. • (423) 521-2929 track29.co

EVENT

hops with the Frogs• Sea creatures, drink Big River brew.6:30 p.m. • Tennessee aquarium • 1 Broad st. (423) 648-2496 • tnaqua.org

MUSIC

RobosApien with Smooth Dialects• Alternative and punk rock at The Pint.9 p.m. • The honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. • (423) 468-4192thehonestpint.com

EVENT

John Reep• Yes, it’s the “That thing got a Hemi?” guy.8 p.m. • The comedy catch3224 Brainerd Rd. • (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

See it again for the first time.Watch the movie. Hear the CSO play!

SUN02.26MUSIC

Basically Baroque• CSO Chamber Series in an intimate setting.3 p.m. • Read house • 827 Broad st. (423) 266-4121 • sheratonreadhouse.com

EVENT

“Seussical Jr.”• Horton the Elephant, the backstory.2:30 p.m. • chattanooga Theatre centre400 River st. • (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com

‘Rebecca Furiosa’This production blends a live quintet of woodwinds, strings and electric guitar with dancers and multimedia projec-tions. Employing theater, performance art, and experimental music, Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” explores the power of religion in the cultural landscape of the United States. The ferocity of our reli-gious fervor finds personification in the character Rebecca. This snapshot of her coming-of-age mirrors the coming-of-age of the American nation. The nightly performances of this 50-minute produc-tion will be followed by a panel discus-sion with the composer, members of the production team,and performers.

Tim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”SUN 02.26-28 • $10• 8 p.m. nightlyBarking legs Theater1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org


Music

Playing straight-up Ra-mones covers and a few origi-nals, the Whoremones have been performing around town for the past eight months to a growing fan base that rang-

es from crowd-surfers and moshers to grandmothers and kids alike.

“We had a little 9-year-old girl come up and sing ‘The KKK Took My Baby Away,’” says Hoey. “It was a touching moment because the little girl learned all of the words just to sing it with us.”

As far as learning the tunes themselves, the Whoremo-nes basically reinvented the Ramones from scratch. Even though the Ramones were not known for their musicianship per se, these four musicians with limited (if any) formal training found the task of working up the songs to be a labor of love.

“Fe Fe was re-learning bass while I was taking drum les-sons off of YouTube,” says Tammy Whoremone (Lara Lee Williams). “And since Hoey can only sing the songs in the various keys she can hit, the music has a nice unique

sound that is the Whoremo-nes.”

In fact, writing material in the same vein as their heroes has taken them in directions the Ramones might’ve never seen coming. Their current 13-16 song live set includes a varying mix of the raw songs off the first two Ramones al-bums together with the more pop-friendly material of latter records. But whether an origi-nal or cover, each song has its own unique Whoremones stamp.

“A girl singing ‘Something To Do’ adds a little more en-ergy than the original,” says guitarist Joannie Whoremone (Joan-Michelle, who also plays in local favorite Prophets & Kings). “And when learning ‘Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World,’ we found that limiting the guitar part dur-ing the verses added a cool dynamic to the original song.”

When asked what inspired their formation and passion, band members agreed that in addition to a love for the Ra-mones, each wanted to help recreate a live show by a band many of its current fans never had the opportunity to experi-ence themselves.

“It’s about letting go with-out perfection,” says bassist Fe Fe Whoremone (Lauren Haynes). “Just like the Ra-mones, our main goals were to just create a scene and play the songs we love. We’re less ‘tribute,’ more ‘parallel uni-verse.’ ”

The WhoremonesThursday, march 8collective clothing Warehouse3933 st. elmo ave.(423) 488-0631facebook.com/allgirlramones

Raging Whoremones

By Chuck Crowder

part punk, part geek, part cool and a little awkward. Meet Hoey, Joannie, Fe Fe and Tammy—known collectively as the Whoremones. An all-girl band who recreate the spirit of famed punk pioneers the Ra-mones, the band delivers a unique take on the beloved “brothers” who spawned from New York’s CBGB in the mid-1970s.

Party on Two Floors! 1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi BarRestaurant & Nightclub

409 Market Street •423.756.1919

LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen

Mon & tue

OPEN MIC STARTS FEB. 29

5-Week Guitar & Bass Contest

wednesdays

LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

thursdays

WEEKEND PARTY ZONE!

FRI

sat

LIVE MUSIC WITH

PATRICK SCOTT BAND$1 BEER 10-11PM

LIVE MUSIC WITH

THE REGULARS

$1 BEER 10-11PM

Party at the

All Week Long!

The Whoremones recreate the Ramones with an all-girl spin for a new generation

Meet the Whoremones—Joanie, Fe Fe, Hoey and Tammy. Photo • chuck crowder


Thur 02.23Gibson Brothers7:30 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.orgSam Bush Band 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929 track29.coThe Blockcrusher, Opportunities9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400RobosApien, Smoot Dialects 9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.comMark holder9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Fried Chicken Trio9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.com

Fri 02.24Slim Pickins 8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.comMartin Sexton 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929 track29.coThe Pool 9 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.comWolfie Calhoun9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Butch Ross9:30 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st.(423) 634-0260 marketstreet-tavern.comDangermuffin, Strung Like A horse10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia,

231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Fly By Radio 10 p.m.Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.comBud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sat 02.25Mimi and Erin 6:30 p.m. southside saloon & Bistro, 1301 chestnut st. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloon-andbistro.comRobby hopkins 8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.comTowe Jam 8 p.m. The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Road(423) 499-5055thepalmsath-amilton.comThe Pool 9 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956

sugarsribs.comDavid Mayfield Parade, Moonslew, Curtis Eller9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Woodford Sessions10 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st.(423) 634-0260. mar-ketstreettavern.comSatisfaction: A Tribute to The Rolling Stones10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.comTim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.orgJoseph Decosimo 8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.comWanda Jackson 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929 track29.co10th Annual Johnny Cash

Birthday Bash 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. rhythm-brews.comTaylor Laskowski9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Gabe Newell and Muddy Soul 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240 tboneschatta-nooga.comElectric hearts9 p.m. The honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192thehonestpint.com Sun 02.26Mr. Quick and the Gunslinger, Smooth Dialects, Function9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400The Secret, Commonwealth 7 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.comTim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”

8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

Mon 02.27Tim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.orgMark holder 7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Tue 02.28Tim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.orgDear Rabbit, Alex Thompson9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

Wed 02.29Tim Lewis7 p.m. Bart’s lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777bartslakeshore.comSoCro, Sam and Tre, Loco9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400Roger AlanWade 8 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.comWho Will Open for Jake Owen?7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929 track29.co

Wednesday • February 22Breaking Laces • Behold the Brave

Tristen • Stephannie NillesThursday • February 23

The Blockcrusher • Opportunities Friday • February 24

Dangermuffin Strung Like A Horse

Saturday • February 25David Mayfield ParadeMoonslew • Curtis Eller

Sunday • February 26Mr. Quick and the GunslingerSmooth Dialects • FunctionTuesday • February 28

Dear Rabbit • Alex ThompsonWednesday • February 29

SoCro • Sam and Tre • Loco

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, Feb. 23: 9pmOpen Mic

with Mark Holder

Friday, Feb. 24: 9pmWolfie Calhoun

Saturday, Feb. 25: 9pmTaylor Laskowski

Tuesday, Feb. 28: 7pmServer Appreciation Night

$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells$1.50 Domestics

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

Chattanooga Livesound Check

ThURSDAY, FEB. 23• The Gibson Brothers at Barking Legsleigh and eric gibson are two decades into a career that has brought them to the top of the bluegrass world. Their rise was crowned by honors for both al-bum of the Year and Vocal group of the Year from the IBma in 2011. Their last 5 albums have all reached no. 1 on the bluegrass ra-dio charts.

SATURDAY, FEB. 25• Wanda Jackson at Track 29as a teenager in the mid 1950s, the diminutive Jackson was the first woman to perform unadul-terated rock ‘n’ roll—and she one-upped the boys defining this new

genre, elvis Presley included, with her exhilaratingly forthright ap-proach. a tireless touring artist for more than 50 years, Jackson continues to win over new, young fans, including guitarist-vocalist-White stripes founder Jack White (at Track 29 on march 10).

SUNDAY, FEB. 26• Tim hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” at Barking LegsThis riveting production blends a live quintet of woodwinds, strings, and electric guitar with dancers and multimedia projections. em-ploying Brechtian theater, perfor-mance art and experimental mu-sic, Rebecca Furiosa explores the power of religion in the cultural landscape of the united states.


850 Market Street• 423.634.0260Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

Nightly SpecialsMon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo

Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas

Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thur: Burger & Beer Night

Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight

MusicWednesdaysLive Jazz with

The Ben Friberg Trio

Thursday • Feb. 23Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests

Friday • Feb. 24 • 9:30pmButch Ross

Saturday • Feb. 25 • 10pmWoodford Sessions

CheCk outthe Cat in the hat

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

honest music local and regional showsThu, Feb 23

Sun, Feb 26

Wed, Feb 29

Thu, Mar 1

9pm

9pm

7pm

9pm

RobosApien with Smooth Dialects ($3)

The Secret with Commonwealth

The Only Sons with Endelouz ($3)

Richie Owens and The Farm Bureauwith Corduroy Road and John Truitt ($3)

Live Irish Music following the Irish Session players every Sunday night FREE SHOWS start at 7pm

Throwing Muses “anthology” (4aD)

“it has been suggested that i was insane during the Muses early days, something I have vehemently denied in my effort to prove that this stuff could come out of our girlfriends, our sisters, and our mothers.”

So wrote Kristin Hersh, the main figure behind the band Throwing Mus-es, and listening to their early work, formed in the early 1980s when Hersh was a teenager, one could understand-ably question her stability. The first Muses album from 1986 is a singular masterpiece (and one of this writer’s all-time favorite albums) that taps into un-comfortable emotional depths with ab-solutely wrenching moments and dizzy-ingly creative interplay, exorcised using standard rock band guitars and drums.

Twenty-five years later, the group’s first career-spanning compilation, “An-thology,” arrives, available as single disc and a special edition which includes an extra disc of B-sides and rarities. Some-what like a person who’s most interest-ing while drunk, Throwing Muses grad-ually became less compelling as its ma-terial became less unhinged and more adaptive of “college radio” rock aesthet-ics. Although “Anthology” samples from each of the band’s full-length studio al-bums, the track list is puzzling at times, with a dearth of numbers penned by the group’s other songwriter, Tanya Donel-ly, three from the relatively obscure (yet excellent) mini-album “The Fat Skier,” and just one—the somber closer “Two Step”—from “The Real Ramona,” the band’s breakthrough album.

Several selections are spot-on, though, including the intense self-loath-ing, indignation and despair of “Hate My Way,” the unclassifiable, Dada-po-em “Fish” with its entrancing rhythm section momentum and a strikingly atypical guitar line, and the stirring “Cry Baby Cry” (not The Beatles song), which displays the band’s Meat Puppets country-punk influence and devastat-ing lyrics such as “First a suicide with-out a note, and now a note without a suicide.”

The second disc is a mixed bag, with unnecessary covers of Jimi Hendrix’s “Manic Depression” and “Cry Baby Cry” (The Beatles song), but fans will find it essential for several standouts, such as the taut yet disquieting “Cottonmouth” and the jittery, propulsive “Snailhead.”

As a retrospective, it’ll do, but as an introduction to the band, I can’t imag-ine making a stronger impression than with the group’s powerful 1986 debut album—a quarter-century later, there’s still nothing quite like it.

Between tHe sleeves ERNIE PAIK

ThursdaysOpen Mic: Mark holder 9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (423) 634-9191Songwriters Showcase: Jordan hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st. (423) 634-0260 • marketstreettavern.comThursday Night Fever with DJ Barry 7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956 • sugarsribs.com

FridaysJohnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.comBluegrass Night 8 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.comamilton.comSaturdaysJohnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com

MondaysLive Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com

TuesdaysOpen Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

WednesdaysBen Friberg Trio6:30 p.m. market street Tavern, 850 market st. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.comFolk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

Regular GigsMusings on Muses

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].


Eight of the nine artists at-tended an opening reception to discuss the four works they installed at the Cress Gallery. Assembled at the gallery were Sterling Allen, Nathan Green, Ryan Hennessee, Carlos Ro-sales-Silva and Michael Sieban, who are all based in Austin, Texas; Josh Rios, currently in Chicago; Pete Duggins, now in Cambridge, Mass., and Justin

Goldwater, now in Los Angeles. Tim Brown was unable to leave Santa Barbara for the opening.

The talents and specializa-tions of these artists span the spectrum of media from theory and concept to video and skate-board design, and they overlap in a number of areas. More re-markably, their collective vision and ambition—not to mention

18 hands—allows them to bring out works that react to deep cultural contexts with intri-cately playful elements. Com-mon objects play a major role in the development of these works and they serve to direct our thoughts towards underlying cultural issues and activities with satirical verve.

Okay Mountain materials

presented include the massive “Wheel” (2011), “Multi-Station Machine” (2011), “Roadside At-tractions” (2012), and “Water, Water Everywhere, So Let’s All Have A Drink” (2010). This last piece hangs as a 28-minute video loop.

Ruth Grover, curator at the Cress, eloquently summarizes the direction of this installa-

tion: “Blending humor with irony, Okay Mountain creates work that weaves an engaging yet dead serious commentary about our contemporary exis-tence.”

Not to belabor the obvious, but these artists are men. That fact notwithstanding, their commitment to a rigorous cul-tural prodding tends to place their work outside of “typi-cal” gender stereotypes, mostly through a “we’re all in this together” attitude that flows through their pieces. As actors within their work, though, they may be happy to play out vari-ous strategies of gender futility.

Part of the video presenta-tion includes a sepia-toned, old western-style film called “Yel-lowbellies” in which segments reveal two of the artists practic-ing strategies of concealment. Nothing like clowning around to relieve a sense of oppression; but wait a minute, doesn’t the need to hide suggest a form of oppression at work? Thus oper-ates the paradoxical, satirical strategy of cultural hide-and-seek.

Okay Mountain has received significant recognition for oth-er projects, particularly for the award-winning “Corner Store” at the Pulse Miami Art Fair at

Lookout! Mountain

By Michael Crumb

the cress gallery at utc has just opened four col-laborative works by nine artists collectively known as Okay Mountain. This col-laboration brings yet anoth-er stunning and provocative show in the Diane Marek Visiting Artist Series to the Cress, which is now on dis-play until March 20.

Arts

Okay Mountain brings provocative humor, irony and satire to UTC’s Cress Gallery

See more from the exhibition at chattanoogapulse.com.


Thur 02.23“history Makers”10 a.m. Bessie smith cultural center, 200 e. martin luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658Brown Bag Dancesnoon. chattanooga state, 4501 amnicola hwy. (423) 697-3207chattanoogastate.eduBreak out the Bubbly: Sparkling Wine Tasting6 p.m. Back Inn café, 412 e. 2nd st. (423) 265-5033bluffviewartdistrict.comThe Gibson Brothers7:30 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgJohn Reep8 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Fri 02.24houston Museum Antiques Show & Sale10 a.m. chattanooga choo choo, 1400 market st. 1-800-872-2529choochoo.com.Tri-State home Show10 a.m. chattanooga convention center, 1150 carter st. (423) 756-0001Jericho Brass Band7 p.m. north River civic center, 1009 executive Drive102. (423) 870-8924“Seussical Jr.”7 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com“The Butler Did It … Again!”8 p.m. signal moun-tain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, signal mtn. smph.org“Actors’ Anonymous”8 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy., lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.org.

Lewis Black8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5050.chattanooga.gov“Mystery at the Redneck Italian Wedding”8:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.comBrad Brake and Mia Jackson9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.comGarden Startup8 a.m. crabtree Farms, 1000 east 30th st. (423) 493-9155crabtreefarms.orgBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m. grace episcopal church, 20 Belvoir ave. (423) 458-6281

Sat 02.25Scenic City half Marathon8 a.m. Finley stadium,1826 carter st. (423) 842-6265chattanoogatrackclub.org“Actors’ Anonymous”2:30 p.m. covenant college, 14049 scenic hwy., lookout mountain, ga. (888) 451-2683ballettennessee.org“Seussical Jr.”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comDenim and Diamonds7 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1150 carter st. (423) 756-0001John Reep7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“The Butler Did It…Again!”8 p.m. signal mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way,

signal mtn. smph.orgRebecca Furiosa8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgRuby Falls Lantern Tours8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy. (423) 821-2544rubyfalls.com

Sun 02.26“Seussical Jr.”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comBasically Baroque3 p.m. The sheraton Read house hotel, 827 Broad st. (423) 266-4121

Mon 02.27Origins of African-American Pottery6 p.m. eac Pottery studio, 3202 Kelly’s Ferry Road (423) 821-9631

Tue 02.28“Silver Wings & Civil Rights: The Fight to Fly”7 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. chattanooga.gov“Diavolo”7:30 p.m. uTc Fine arts center Roland hayes hall, 725 Vine st. utc.edu/musicRebecca Furiosa8 p.m. Barking legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

Wed 02.29Swing Dance Classes7 p.m. shirley’s Dance club, 8133 east Brainerd Road (423) 855-1368

Arts entertainment&

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

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Art Basel Miami, in which they made a kind of fantasy convenience store where art collectors could purchase strange products that are also art objects. As much fun as all this acquiring may be, the whole process of participating in this installation brings attention to art as “commodity.” But since this attention emerges, the larger impact redirects our thoughts to the role of art in culture, a question far too deep for exposition here. Still, you can purchase “food for thought” at this “Corner Store.”

Okay Mountain’s “Roadside Attrac-tions” bears a thematic similarity to “Cor-ner Store,” in which the observer stands before a wooden rack filled with invita-tions to explore anything from an “Alche-mist’s Laboratory” (apparently not what it seems) to any number of destinations. Try to avoid tearing up from laughter as imaginary destinations beckon.

The video loop that mimics channel surfing through Okay Mountain’s televi-sion sensorium, from the inertia of “One Knife To Rule Them All” to the animated turtle and owl to the very live psychic channel, may enthrall you for more than one turn through this fantasmagoria. These visiting artists have brilliantly situ-ated the video loop so that it directs atten-tion away from the other two very large pieces of significant intensity, just like most TV serves to distract us from daily circumstances.

“Wheel” stands about waist high on an average adult, and it’s big enough to fill a small room by itself. There seems an un-deniable design confluence with the game show “Wheel of Fortune,” but the many demarcations here indicate the sort of things that could occur in the course of a day and, perhaps, a number of them on a heavy day. The stillness of this wheel sug-gests motion in the paradoxical way that our own existence occurs in relative mo-tion. For most, “stillness” means motion at intense speeds through space and time.

“Multi-Station Machine” simply reeks of cognitive dissonance. Nathan Green smiles as he explains how he and the other artists researched and conceptualized the massive wooden, surreal melding of In-quisition torture machines with contem-porary exercise equipment. How much can you take, the piece asks.

From magical consumer fantasies to darkly philosophical ruminations, Okay Mountain will massage your mind with threatening illumination.

Okay MountainFree • Through march 20The cress gallery of artuTc Fine arts center752 Vine st.(423) 304-9789cressgallery.org


That was their only move, but they’ve expanded twice since, and recently remodeled. Regulars flood the store dur-ing lunch, seeking their unique brand of deli offerings, and luckily, GollyWhoppers has been able to keep up with the demand, thanks in large part to those expansions and their spa-cious parking lot.

So what is it that brings so many folks in? It’s honestly hard to pin down—their menu is so huge that attempting to attribute it to a particular item would be an exercise in futility. Obviously, the sandwiches are a huge draw.

Available on your choice of four freshly baked breads (French, Cracked Wheat, Rye, or Pumpernickel), with all

manner of toppings, the twelve options run the gamut from pastrami to pimento cheese to barbecue pork. If you can’t decide on one (and you’ve got company), “The GollyWhop-per” might just be your best op-tion—it comes with five meats and four cheeses!

The choices don’t stop there—six varieties of salads are on of-fer, and if you’ve got time to sit down to eat, they have a full sal-ad bar. Their gargantuan baked potatoes (over a pound each, even before they’re topped) are another favorite, and the soups are always a draw. Chili is al-ways on the menu, along with two other options that change daily.

Dessert is not to be missed, either. A display case chock-full of homemade treats both famil-iar and novel beckons—Lemon Squares and German Chocolate Bars share space with Diddly Doo Wop and Pretzel K. (You’ll have to visit yourself to find out what all these concoctions are!)

Fridays offer a few special treats. The staff bake up fresh croissants, offering you the op-tion of having your sandwich on a light, fluffy base. The clas-sic Waldorf salad also joins the menu. Lastly, one of the soups of the day is always their ac-claimed Taco Soup for the end of the workweek.

Since I was trying a few things, I opted for smaller por-tions. I was still blown away by the sizes. The Mini Taco Salad could have been a meal unto it-self. Ringed with tortilla chips that also serve as its base, it was piled high with lettuce, taco meat, cheese, tomato, on-ion, black olives, and jalapeños, topped with generous portions

of sour cream and salsa. There was just the right amount of meat to still be able to call it a salad, but it could have served as an entree if I hadn’t skipped breakfast.

Next up I had a half sandwich of roast beef on French bread, served warm. It was equally as large, and my stomach balked at the thought of finishing both, despite the delicious flavors. The meat and toppings were fresh, and the bread was crusty and soft on the inside. It was certainly a sandwich I don’t think you can find the likes of anywhere else in Chattanooga.

Thankfully, you don’t have to tackle a whole portion of the desserts if you want to treat your sweet tooth. Each of their

bars is available in bite-sized portions for only 99 cents! I grabbed a taste of the Cheese-cake Brownie and the Peanut Butter Chocolate Swirl. The brownie was soft, creamy, and incredibly rich. The peanut butter bar is probably best de-scribed as a cross between pea-nut butter pie and a candy bar. Both were incredible, and the perfect end to my savory meal.

Stopping in for lunch isn’t your only option. GollyWhop-pers is open through dinner on weeknights, and they also offer catering for groups of any size! Regardless of when or where you get a taste, there’s one thing you should definitely not for-get if GollyWhoppers is on the menu —a big appetite!

Food&DrinkDINING OUT ChATTANOOGA

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Free Will Astrology ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (march 21-april 19): I invite you to identify all the things in your life that you really don’t need any more: gadgets that have become outdated, clothes that no longer feel like you, once-exciting music and books and art works that no longer mean what they once did. Don’t stop there. Pinpoint the people who have let you down, the places that lower your vitality, and the activities that have become boring or ar-tificial. Finally, aries, figure out the traditions that no longer move you, the behavior pat-terns that no longer serve you, and the compulsive thoughts that have a freaky life of their own. got all that? Dump at least some of them.

TAURUS (april 20-may 20): If you’re a woman, you could go to the perfume sec-tion of the department store and buy fragrances that would cause you to smell like Jen-nifer lopez, Britney spears, eva longoria, or Paris hilton. If you’re a man, an hour from now you could be beaming an aroma that makes you re-semble a celebrity like antonio Banderas, usher, David Beck-ham, or Keith urban. You could even mix and match, wearing the eva longoria scent on your manly body or usher on your female form. But I don’t rec-ommend that you do any of the above. more than ever before you need to be yourself, your whole self, and nothing but yourself. Trying to act like or be like anyone else should be a taboo of the first degree.

GEMINI (may 21-June 20): “I try to take one day at a time,” says ashleigh Brilliant, “but sometimes several days attack me all at once.” I think you may soon be able to say words to that effect, gemini—and that’s a good thing. life will seem more concentrated and mean-ingful than usual. events will flow faster and your awareness will be extra intense. as a result, you should have exceptional power to unleash transforma-tions that could create ripples lasting for months. Would you like each day to be the equiva-lent of nine days? or would four be enough for you?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): When actor ashton Kutcher is working on the set of the TV show “Two and a half men,” he enjoys spacious digs. his trailer is two stories high and has two bathrooms as well as a full kitch-en. seven 60-inch TVs are avail-able for his viewing pleasure. as you embark on your journey to the far side of reality, cancerian, it might be tempting for you to try to match that level of com-fort. But what’s more important than material luxury will be psy-chological and spiritual aids that help keep you attuned to your deepest understandings about life. Be sure you’re well-stocked with influences that keep your imagination vital and upbeat. Favorite symbols? uplifting books? Photos of mentors? magic objects?

LEO (July 23-aug. 22): Veter-ans of war who’ve been wound-ed by shrapnel often find that years later, some of the metal fragments eventually migrate to the surface and pop out of their skin. The moral of the story: The body may take a long time to purify itself of toxins. The same is true about your psyche. It might not be able to easily and quickly get rid of the poisons it has absorbed, but you should never give up hoping it will find a way. Judging by the astrologi-cal omens, I think you are very close to such a climactic cleans-ing and catharsis, leo.

VIRGO (aug. 23-sept. 22): Distilled water is a poor con-ductor of electricity. For h2o to have electroconductivity, it must contain impurities in the form of dissolved salts. I see a timely lesson in this for you, Virgo. If you focus too hard on being utterly clean and clear, some of life’s rather chaotic but fertile and invigorating energy may not be able to flow through you. That’s why I suggest you experiment with being at least a little impure and imperfect. Don’t just tolerate the messi-ness. learn from it; thrive on it; even exult in it.

LIBRA (sept. 23-oct. 22): according to my reading of the astrological omens, you are nei-ther in a red-alert situation nor are you headed for one. a pink

alert may be in effect, however. Thankfully, there’s no danger or emergency in the works. shouting and bolting and leap-ing won’t be necessary. Rather, you may simply be called upon to come up with unexpected responses to unpredicted cir-cumstances. unscripted plot twists could prompt you to take actions you haven’t rehearsed. It actually might be kind of fun as long as you play with the per-spective shakespeare articu-lated in as You like It: “all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

SCORPIO (oct. 23-nov. 21): “Dear Rob: For months I’ve had a recurring dream in which I own a pet snake. here’s the problem: The only cage I have to keep the snake in is sadly in-adequate. It has widely spaced bars that the snake just slips right through. In the dream I am constantly struggling to keep the snake in its cage, which is exhausting, since it’s impossible. Just this morn-ing, after having the dream for the billionth time, I FInallY asked myself, what’s so terrible about letting the snake out of its cage? so I gratefully wrote myself this permission note: ‘It is hereby allowed and perfectly acceptable to let my dreams-nake out of its cage to wander freely.’ - scorpio Devotee.” Dear Devotee: You have provided all your fellow scorpios with an excellent teaching story for the upcoming weeks. Thank you!

SAGITTARIUS (nov. 22-Dec. 21): For millions of years, black kite raptors made their nests with leaves, twigs, grass, mud, fur, and feathers. In recent centuries they have also borrowed materials from humans, like cloth, string, and paper. and in the last few de-cades, a new element has be-come quite popular. eighty-two percent of all black kite nest-builders now use white plastic as decoration. I suggest you take inspiration from these adaptable creatures, sagit-tarius. It’s an excellent time for you to add some wrinkles to the way you shape your home base. Departing from tradition could add significantly to your levels of domestic bliss.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There are many ex-amples of highly accomplished people whose early education was problematical. Thomas ed-ison’s first teacher called him “addled,” and thereafter he was homeschooled by his mother. Winston churchill did so poor-ly in school he was punished. Benjamin Franklin had just two years of formal education. as for einstein, he told his biog-rapher, “my parents were wor-ried because I started to talk comparatively late, and they consulted a doctor because of it.” What all these people had in common, however, is that they became brilliant at educating themselves according to their own specific needs and time-table. speaking of which: The coming weeks will be an excel-lent time for you capricorns to plot and design the contours of your future learning.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): nigeria has abundant deposits of petroleum. since 1974, oil companies have paid the country billions of dollars for the privilege of extracting its treasure. and yet the major-ity of nigerians, over 70 per-cent, live on less than a dollar a day. Where does the money go? That’s a long story, with the word “corruption” at its heart. now let me ask you, aquarius: Is there a gap between the valu-able things you have to offer and the rewards you receive for them? are you being properly compensated for your natural riches? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to address this issue.

PISCES (Feb. 19-march 20): gawker.com notes that ameri-can politician John mccain tends to repeat himself—a lot. Researchers discovered that he has told the same joke at least 27 times in five years. (and it’s such a feeble joke, it’s not worth re-telling.) In the coming week, Pisces, please please please avoid any behavior that resem-bles this repetitive, habit-bound laziness. You simply cannot afford to be imitating who you used to be and what you used to do. as much as possible, rein-vent yourself from scratch—and have maximum fun doing it.


Jonesin’ Crossword

ACROSS1. stations in some labs4. “mama’s gun” singer erykah8. u.s. surgeon general under Reagan12. “Play something better!”13. Prized cards, to collectors14. Polite refusal15. Tip collector16. spoiler in a familiar saying18. “oh 7, why’d you have to go and eat 9? and 6, did you help 7 out of fear? I’m shocked!”20. swamp beast21. national chain of “bakery-cafes”22. caprice23. Big cheese in holland27. Bodily sac28. “I can see you on a cold day and you’re like a cloud...I’m impressed...”32. Twisted, like a smile33. Falls on many honeymoon trips34. Rum ___ Tugger (47-down character)

37. “hmmm...I’m stumped as to how you landed a role on ‘The addams Family’...”39. Without leaves42. Those ladies, in Tijuana43. Radio choices44. gm service47. chaz’s mother48. “oh yeah, like I’d ever see a guy with a ruffled shirt and heaving chest in real life...”53. ad line spoken while grabbing a box of cereal back54. ___ lingus (Irish airline)56. Year, to Yvette57. 1970s model cheryl58. Wu-Tang clan member59. suffix after Brooklyn60. lat. and lith., once61. Drops in a field

DOWN1. simple sammich2. one of a pair of newscasters3. group of sisters4. ___ mi (Vietnamese sandwich)5. Vicinity

6. Red ink7. mil. branch at lackland8. It’ll floor ya9. hawk relative10. canadian nhl team11. Test in h.s.13. campus recruiting org.14. serpent deity group, in hinduism (in Run agaInsT)17. Quick swim19. grave marker22. Dir. opposite ese23. Do some video production24. early info-sorting program25. mythical giant with 100 eyes26. Ben stiller’s mom anne ___29. “Would You like to Buy ___?” (“sesame street” song)30. greek war god31. Body art, for short

34. It’s swiped to check in35. command in some games of tag36. “north by northwest” film studio37. stinging herbs38. mayor of los angeles, 2001-200539. meticulously-trimmed tree40. name41. They’re given in the “Wheel of Fortune” bonus round45. “ellen” actor ___ gross46. czech play where the word “robot” came from47. It left Broadway on sept. 10, 200049. has dinner50. Diamondback stats51. host Ken of mTV’s “Remote control”52. Russian fighter jets55. like some sugar

MATT JONES

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0560.

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600 wordsThird Annual Short Story Contest

“Chattanooga Stories”For our Third Annual Story Contest, aka “600 Words,” we introduce the theme “Chattanooga Stories.” In 600 words, tell a story about our town—a distant memory, a recent event or encounter, for example—and submit it by email only (along with your contact information) no later than Thursday, March 22, 2012, to:

creative@chattanoogapulseSubject: Short Story Contest

More details next week. Issue: April 5, 2012


“You want fries with that?” has been the go-to up-sell sug-gestion since the dawn of drive-thru windows. Who wouldn’t want the tasty treat of crispy golden potato sticks to go with their juicy hot meat stuffs? No-body. So the top brass at one of the major quick-service play-ers decided it was time to save customers the trouble of choice (and a few cents) by getting them to spend two more dollars on a pre-packaged “value meal” that automatically included fries and a drink with their en-trée.

The advent of the value meal—most likely the cousin of McDonald’s kid-friendly “Happy Meal”—changed fast food forever. It increased aver-age sales to upwards of four or five bucks and offered hungry hamburglers the convenience of ordering an entire meal with a single number. However, ways of further increasing profit mar-gins on these cash-flow combos over the years has resulted in lackluster “enhancements” in our nation’s favorite starch.

Despite our limited knowl-edge of the rest of the world, we Americans know where French fries were invented. France, right? Wrong. The origins of fries date back to 1700s Bel-gium. But when they were first served to Thomas Jefferson at the White House in 1802, the strips of raw potato were dropped into boiling oil by a French chef, so there. Of course, in France, fries are referred to as “pommes frites.” Go figure.

Our disgust with France for not wanting to help us bomb the hell out of Iraq in 2003 caused

congressional action to replace the “French” prefix of fries and toast options in cafeterias at the capitol with the rebel-rous-ing, “we’ll show them” prefix of “Freedom.” That decree was later reversed when fast food lobbyists convinced renegade congresspeople that the cost of carrying out this change across America would amount to bil-lions and confuse an already slow-witted customer base.

Up until the year of my birth, 1967, French fries enjoyed at fast food establishments were cut fresh from actual potatoes at the restaurant level by the same type of pimply-faced teenager who now just cuts open a bag of frozen potatoes and dumps them into the fryer. You can thank Ray Kroc for that one.

McDonald’s and its competi-tors spent the 1970s and ’80s one-upping each other with ongoing improvements in taste, texture and quality in order to claim the elusive “world’s best fries” label. I remember as a teenager, and even as a kid, carefully choosing fast food cuisine options based on which outlet was currently serving what my friends and I consid-ered to be the finest pommes frites.

But much like the music in-dustry, French fry test kitch-ens seemed to lose their way in the ’90s. Seasoning salts, new coatings, curly configurations and other flash-in-the-pan en-hancements further threatened to detract from their undeniable appeal. In fact, I became much more picky and would even forego “fries with that” at estab-lishments peddling lackluster sliced spuds.

My brother switched almost exclusively to tater tots. I can’t say that I blame him. Tots pos-sess an indescribable taste and texture, but I’ll try to explain. As one’s teeth tenderly clamp down on a tot’s golden outer

shell a slight crunch enables the palette to enjoy the gently flash-fried potato meat inside. My brother’s newfound enthusiasm for tots not only made them a staple for him and his young daughter, but also inspired him to leave a spontaneous five-minute message on Ore-Ida’s corporate headquarters’ an-swering machine during their 40th anniversary celebration. His passionate plea earned him a 40-month supply.

Me, I took myself off the grid. I curtailed my penchant for the siren song of the value meal and began ordering entrée’s and sodas separately from their virtually cost-free French fry

companion. It was my way of protesting what had happened to my beloved fries (and a good way to shed some unwanted pounds likely caused by them in the first place).

Even today, I limit my French fry intake to the meaty-rich taste of my all-time favorite va-riety—the crinkle cut. But find-ing these treats means purchas-ing meals from the slim network of mom-and-pop greasy spoons with the fortitude to honor their superior succulence. Thank you Nick Bowers, and old-school establishments like the Pickle Barrel, for keeping it real with the only “real” French fry out there.

Want Fries With That?since i was a kid my favorite “vegetable” has always been the crispy goodness of deep fried potatoes. In fact, French fries must be everyone’s favorite since they’ve re-mained the sidecar of burgers, hot dogs, chicken chunks and every other kind of fast food entrée since Ronald first lit up the golden arches back in the 1950s.

Life in the noog ChUCK CROWDER

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

“Much like the music industry, French fry test kitchens seemed to lose their way in the ’90s. Seasoning salts, new coatings, curly configurations and other flash-in-the-pan enhancements further threatened to detract from their undeniable appeal.


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Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Wine Week is coming! This Spring, The Pulse introduces Wine: oh! Yes!, a special wine-focused section coming March 22, 2012.

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the pulse 9.08 » feb. 23-29, 2012

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