The Top Mistakes Made When Choosing An Online Profile Photo

Welcome to the world of online dating. It's an exciting concept, that just a few mouse clicks away you could

find the perfect partner. Today I want to talk about one of the most important aspects of online dating, your

profile pictures.

Your picture is worth 1000 words, and 100 dates.

Please tell me that you didn't think you could get through this without putting up a picture at all?

Now also put up your hand if you hoped you could use a selfie from your phone or an old photo with other

people in it?

Tut, tut, tut.

Yes, you do need a photo. That is non-negotiable if you are serious about this. Nope, not negotiating. And yes,

you will probably need to take a few photos just for your profile. But no, they cannot be selfies.

Psychological studies into online dating have demonstrated that people are cautious because of the lack of ways to verify the information presented. That's why everyone thinks everyone else is lying online. We like to be able to check a person's eye movements or

body posture as they tell us things, so we can judge for ourselves whether we think they are telling the truth. Online, because there are far fewer cues, people read

more meaning into the ones that remain.

One of the easiest and most successful ways to make people think you are honest and great is to support your profile text with your photos. If you think of your photos as a visual proof to your written profile, you will go a lot

further. However, you need to be careful of what else people are reading into your photos.

So just to reinforce, you need photos, and you need to know what they are saying. If you put up a photo that you have clearly taken yourself, then it is going to be

read as saying you have no friends. Sad, but true.

Don't panic. While bad photos can scream a lot of different things, just for you I've gone through the most

common mistakes that are made online, and exactly what these types of photos say about you. Avoid them,

and you will be doing well.

1. Having a Picture of Something Else

There are a number of people out there who include a picture of a sunset or a dog as their primary photograph. I can't decide if this is better or worse than not having a

photo at all. You might be trying to suggest you like good scenery, but overall it does not come across well. Why

don't you want people to see your face? There could be a number of reasons, but none of them are good, and

people naturally assume the worst. Yes, you might want to show that you are a dog-lover, but this message is

much more effective if you are also in the picture. Otherwise people think the message is that your dog is

your more attractive side.

2. Pick Which Person Is Me Photo

Why would you do this? It seems ridiculous to me, but I've seen it so many times it's made the list. First of all, it shows that you haven't put any effort into creating your profile. You couldn't even be bothered to find a photo of just you. Second, every girl will always assume that you are the most unattractive guy in the photo. Now, if part

of your profile message is that you have really great mates, then you might want a photo of all of you doing things. However, this would not be your primary photo. And even then, there is always the risk of the girl going

'hmm... that other guy's cuter...'. So overall I don't recommend it. If you have to, recreate the photo with

just you.

3. Me and My Hot Ex

Having a member of the opposite sex in your photo is not a great idea. You might think you are sending the

message 'look, other hot people think I'm worth hanging out with', but that is not the message received,

particularly by girls. When people are looking online, they are usually quite defensive and critical. Any photo

of a member of the same sex around the same age (doesn't count if it is a baby or your grandma), is going to be judged very harshly. Consequently, you will be judged

for liking such a person. Don't give people a chance to write you off because of their insecurities.

4. Making Yourself Appear Ugly On Purpose

Please keep in mind that it will be assumed that your worst shot is what you actually look like most of the time. It also seems that you are hiding behind humor because you are insecure about your looks. This is a

killer for online attraction ratings. Confidence is what you are going for. Funny and still amazingly attractive is

the branding you want.

5. Shots of Bodies Without Heads

Okay so you have a great body, thanks for showing that. But would it really have been that hard to zoom out and

show that you have a brain as well? Particularly for women, photos of bodies with no heads are disturbing.

It also screams that you objectify your own and everyone else's bodies. Not a great message for most

dating sites.

6. Outdated Photos

If you had some super amazing achievement a few years ago, such as winning gold at the Olympics, sure put in an old photo. However, if it is just you standing around and you are trying to pass it off as how you generally look?

This is bad. The majority of your photos need to be up to date, with the main photo being within the last few

months. If you have a great photo from the past, why not try to recreate it, or even improve on it?

7. My Professional Glamor Shot

If you are a model, and have been paid to have your photo taken, then sure, go ahead an include one of them

(this will support your self-statements). In any other circumstance, I recommend not using professional

glamor shots in your profile. If you have paid someone to take photos of you, this often comes across as self-

indulgent. Further, they are known to be unrealistic and touched up, so people don't trust them anyway. Even if you love the picture, I recommend trying to recreate a

more realistic version yourself.

8. Me While I'm Drunk

So I can see why you might have drunk photos up on Facebook, but unless you are writing your profile while drunk (which I really do not recommend), then why on

earth would you put it up as one of your best and defining looks? If you think the best thing about you is

that you get drunk and then ugly, you really need to try a new branding tactic, because that isn't going to appeal

to many people.

9. Where Are You Photos

Profile photos should not be a game of Where's Wally. You should be clearly visible, which means not out of

focus, out of the shot, or just a speck in the background. You want to give as much evidence about what you

actually look like. People have seem mountains, they haven't seen you. So unless it has a very particular and

irreplaceable purpose demonstrating your message, find a better shot.

Choosing the perfect photo for your online dating profile should not be hard, but based on the evidence available it appears to stump a lot of men. Therefore, avoid these

mistakes, and you are already ahead of the game!

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