the wetherbe group. © 2008 all rights reserved. 0 interpersonalcommunication skills development
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The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 1
InterpersonalInterpersonalCommunicationCommunication
Skills DevelopmentSkills Development
The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 2
CONTENTversus
PROCESS
Interpersonal Communication Skills
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VERBAL
COMMUNICATION
MODELS
Interpersonal Communication Skills
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Communication Flow Diagram
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
ExplanationProblemSolution
AgreementReinforceExpand
Reservations/DoubtReassureSubstantiate
Question/Confusion/ConflictRephraseAnswer/Clarify/Minimize
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
CloseReview POAPropose COA
or
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Explanation Model
Problem
Solution
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Agreement Model
Reinforce
Expand
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Closure Model
Review Points of Agreement
Propose Course of Action
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Reservation / Doubt Model
Reassure
Substantiate
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Question / Confusion / Conflict Model
Rephrase
Answer / Clarify / Minimize
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Query Model
Indirect Probe
Direct Probe
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QUERYIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
EXPLANATIONProblemSolution
AGREEMENTReinforceExpand
RESERVATION / DOUBTReassure
Substantiate
QUESTION / CONFUSION / CONFLICTRephrase
Answer / Clarify / Minimize
CLOSUREReview Points of Agreement
Propose Course of Action
Verbal Communication Models
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Communication Flow Diagram
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
ExplanationProblemSolution
AgreementReinforceExpand
Reservations/DoubtReassureSubstantiate
Question/Confusion/ConflictRephraseAnswer/Clarify/Minimize
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
QueryIndirect ProbeDirect Probe
CloseReview POAPropose COA
or
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Communication Feedback Skills
• Avoid tuning people out by thinking excessively while they are talking
• Assume the listener does not understand you
• Control your emotions so they do not control your communications
• Interrupt people only if there is a 911 emergency
• Take notes when listening
• Focus on the non-verbal communications: body language, voice inflections, and facial expressions of others - not on what you are going to say next
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Dealing with Conflict
• Isolate the issues causing conflict
• Define the goals or desired results
• Isolate the areas of agreement and disagreement, and list the unresolved issues
• Minimize conflict by putting issues into perspective or through compromise
• Prioritize the issues
• Brainstorm solutions to the issues
• Evaluate possible solutions to the issues
• Make a decision and develop an action plan
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Words of Wisdom for Improving Communication Skills
• “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
• “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.”
• “You will never convince me that you are concerned about me or care about me if you are unwilling to listen to me.”
• “It is hard to start an argument when you are listening.”
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NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
Interpersonal Communication Skills
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First Impressions
• Body Language _________________________________
• Dress __________________________________________
• Face ___________________________________________
• Hands _________________________________________
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First Impression Packaging
• Time Extension
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
• Resemblance to Someone Familiar
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
• Categorization
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
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Credibility
Capable of being believedWorthy of confidenceReliable
• Credibility Comes From:
1. _____________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________
BLOW ONE OF THESE and . . . BOOM!BOOM!
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Body Language Match Quiz
• Based on their body language, match each of the three with the following choices:
a: Husband _______
b: Lover __________
c: Salesman ______
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Silhouette Match Quiz
• Try to match each silhouette with the labels listed below:
a: Openness, looking for acceptance _______
b: Relaxed negativism ______
c: Lecture ______
d: Headache ______
e: Closed acceptance, defiance ______
f: Aggressiveness ______
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Key Non-Verbal Messages
Master these:
• Openness
• Reassurance
• Cooperation
• Confidence
• Acceptance Counter these:
• Defensiveness
• Suspicion
• Frustration
• Nervousness
• Boredom
The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 23
Openness
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Reassurance
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Cooperation
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Confidence
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Acceptance
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Defensiveness
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Suspicion
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 30
Frustration
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Nervousness
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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Boredom
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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S ____________________________
O ____________________________
F ____________________________
T ____________________________
E ____________________________
N ____________________________
Body Language: A Short Skills Course
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WRITTEN
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
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Primary Purposes for Significant Communication
Solve a problem
Answer a question
Request action
Present an idea
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Basic Writing Guidelines
Consider your overall objective
Develop a logical progression of thought
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Basic Writing Guidelines (continued)
• Use short paragraphs,
sentences, and words
Use the active voice
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Basic Writing Guidelines (continued)
• Write the way you talk
Be considerate of the sensitivities of your readers
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Basic Writing Guidelines (continued)
• Check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation
Proof read through your
reader’s eyes
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Basic Writing Guidelines (one last tip)
• Avoid putting any bad news
in writing, when possible
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WHY?
Because you lose the . . .
• Impact of voice inflection
• Impact of body language
• Ability to observe the other
person’s response
• Ability to query
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Interpersonal Communication Skills