Jeff Everage PEACEINYOURHOME.COM

Three Easy Parenting

Techniques to Implement

Tonight That Will Transform

Your Parenting A FREE GUIDE FOR PARENTS

1 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

Three easy parenting

techniques to implement

tonight that will transform

your parenting.

Welcome!

First, let me thank you for joining PeaceInYourHome.com. Youll be

hearing from us about once a week to share with you the best, most

effective tools and ideas to change your family life for the better.

Im convinced that you will use what you learn each week in

PeaceInYourHome.com to become a more confident parent and

much sooner than you thought.

Today, though, were going to cover three different changes that

you can make in your routine, starting TONIGHT, to see a difference

in the way your family operates.

In the other words, if you apply what you discover in the next few

2 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

pages, you willwillwillwill see a marked improvement in how your child

behaves.

Nothing youll read here is difficult to understand or complicated to

do. And for that reason, Im sure youll find each element I cover to

be easily adaptable to your daily routine.

Above all else, though - in fact, even above the potential of

improving your childs behavior - I hope you rediscover the joy in

everyday parenting.

To have well-behaved children is one thing. To enjoy the process of

parenting is - in my humble opinion - much more important. When

you enjoy parenting, everyone wins. The whole world wins. In the

words of Mother Teresa, peace begins in the home.

Sincerely,

Jeff EverageJeff EverageJeff EverageJeff Everage

Jeff@peaceinyourhome.coJeff@peaceinyourhome.coJeff@peaceinyourhome.coJeff@peaceinyourhome.commmm

PeaceInYourHome.comPeaceInYourHome.comPeaceInYourHome.comPeaceInYourHome.com

P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S. Dont forget that PeaceInYourHome.com is here to help make

parenting easier and way more fun. Be sure to comment on some of

the articles and check out the online courses!

3 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

Change #1: Take Care of Yourself. First.

OK. So the firstfirstfirstfirst thing you need to do is sort yourself out.

On any given day, you might be taking care of your childrens meals,

getting them dressed, driving them from this activity to the next,

checking their homework, taking care of the house.

Perhaps you go to work and spend 40 hours a week someplace

outside of the home, on top of everything else...

Ask yourself this question: Am I taking care of myself and my Am I taking care of myself and my Am I taking care of myself and my Am I taking care of myself and my

needs?needs?needs?needs?

This might seem counter-intuitive to some of you. Especially those

of you who are used to putting other peoples needs in front of your

own. Trust me, though. This is important.

You might be wondering, How can taking care of How can taking care of How can taking care of How can taking care of my needsmy needsmy needsmy needs FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST

lead to better behaved children?lead to better behaved children?lead to better behaved children?lead to better behaved children?

Really, it comes down to brain science-- specifically, these fun things

called mirror neurons which dictate that we naturally mirror the

actions we observe around us.

So when youre in a crabby mood because youve had an

4 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

unrelentingly hard day at the office, or because youve plowed

straight through your morning chores without taking time to

shower, guess who is going to mimic that crabby mood? Your kids.

Conversely, when youre feeling relaxed, centered, and calm- so will

your kids.

One of my great friends, parenting expert Susie Walton, often uses

the analogy of the flight attendant telling parents to put their

oxygen mask on first before helping to put on a childs mask. What

good are you to your child if you are unconscious from lack of

oxygen? she asks.

Think about that.

What good are you to your child if you are tired? Or when you are

hungry? Or overworked, unkempt, and generally not content with

yourself?

Definitely not as good as you could be.

So figure out what you need to feel better during the most

challenging times of the day. Is it a shower first thing in the

morning? Is it the time to work out? Is it fifteen minutes of alone

time? Make it a priority to figure out what you need every day, and

then find a way to make it happen.

5 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

You might find that even the tiniest favor you do for yourself brings

great rewards for your kids in terms of how you interact with each

other.

Youll be less likely to snap at your kids, and generally more

prepared to deal with whatever may come up.

I know, for many of you out there (including myself!), this seems

easier said than done. But trust me, its not impossible to carve out

few moments of me time.

*****

Okay, so this next change might rub some of you the wrong way

Change #2: Pay Attention to Your Kids

Im not implying that you neglect your kids, by any stretch. (Youve

proven how devoted you are to them just by signing up to get this

guide!)

The The The The qualityqualityqualityquality of attention your kids get from you makes a difference in of attention your kids get from you makes a difference in of attention your kids get from you makes a difference in of attention your kids get from you makes a difference in

the way they behave.the way they behave.the way they behave.the way they behave.

In her book Your Childs Self-Esteem, Dorothy Briggs uses the term

genuine encounter moment, or GEM, to describe the focused

attention children need.

6 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

Briggs writes, Many parents are with their children physically, but

mentally their focus is elsewhere. Togetherness without genuine

encounter is not togetherness at all.

Having one-on-one time with each of your children doing some sort

of planned activity is amazing, and I encourage doing that as much

as you can. Realistically, though, and especially day-to-day, its not

always an option.

The good news is that GEMs dont require planning, spending

money, or setting aside a large chunk of your already busy day.

It can be as simple as having a short conversation about something

that happened at school.

Whatever moment you choose, a true GEM needs to be two things:

1. Focused

2. Positive

Im going to talk about these two criteria separately.

Attention Needs to Be Undivided

I know I am busy! The funny thing about kids is, the busier you get,

the more they need to connect with you.

7 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

And when they feel disconnected from you, well thats when the

trouble starts to bubble up. They start acting up to grab your

attention, even if its negative.

Providing genuine encounter moments removes your childs Providing genuine encounter moments removes your childs Providing genuine encounter moments removes your childs Providing genuine encounter moments removes your childs

motivation to misbehave.motivation to misbehave.motivation to misbehave.motivation to misbehave.

Heres the kicker for you: No multi-tasking during GEMs!

No checking emails on the computer while you sing songs with

your preschooler.

No mentally going over your grocery list when your child tells

you about her day at school.

And if your teen is willing to make small talk with you, for

goodness sake, put down your smart phone!

Here are some other tips to make sure you child feels like theyre

getting all of you in those few moments.

Tips for GEMs

1. Get eye to eye to your child. If

theyre small, crouch down to their eye

level or pick them up to yours.

2. Touch. Hold your childs hand, rub his

back, stroke her hair.

8 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

3. When your child is speaking really listen to what hes telling

you, and wait for him to finish talking.

Would you like to watch a video demonstrating how to do a GEM?

Theres one on PeaceInYourHome.com.com. Check it out here!

Attention Needs to Be Positive

The National Family Institute reported that the average American

child only receives 12.5 minutes per day communicating with their

parents, and that 8.5 of those minutes are spent correcting,

criticizing, or arguing.

So when youre giving a GEM, make sure you reserve the lecturing

and judging for a different occasion. Im sure there will be plenty of

opportunities to give advice to your child, but dont do it now.

Just make sure that you give your child the positive attention she

needs-- even if that means just nodding your head and

empathizing.

*****

Change #3: Empower Your Children

Some parents wont like this one

Theyll say, Empowering kids? Thats the problem with children

today! Parents have given up control of their kids! Young people

9 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

dont know their place! I am the parent, and I always know better,

and I deserve all the power all the time!

Okay, that might be a little extreme, but you get the idea.

By definition, to empower means to give someone, in this case

kids, power. I get why this is scarythey are just kids, after all.

But empowering children doesnt mean giving them the run of the

house, to the point where you lose control of your household.

It simply means that you let your kids make some decisions for

themselves.

Think about the countless decisions that you make on behalf of

your kids every single dayfrom the clothes that they wear, to the

food they eat.

If your kids are school-age, they spend several hours in a classroom

environment where, again, they have little to no control over what

happens next.

Is it any wonder that some children rebel? Some will do it loudly:

No! I do not want to do my homework now!

Some kids rebel passively: simply ignoring any request made of

them.

Either way, these kids are acting up because they are frustrated.

They feel powerless, and this is their way of communicating that to

you.

10 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

You can turn this around, and you can start tonight. Here are some

suggestions.

Ways to Empower Children

1. Offer little ones choices by giving them two or three viable

options to choose from. (Dont leave it open ended, and limit

choices to two or three.)

2. Let older kids decide what to have for dinner once a week.

Then let them help prepare it. Youd be surprised how many

kids are eager to help in the kitchen. Dont waste the

opportunity!

3. Allow children to structure afternoons on their own. Let them

tell you what order they will complete chores, homework,

etc. (Just hold them accountable to the schedule theyve set.)

4. How often do the kids get to decide what happens on a

Saturday? Have your kids plan an entire Saturdaythen

follow that plan as a family. It could

become a fun monthly tradition! Ask

their opinionsa lot! Show your kids you

care what they think. From little things

(Which sweater should I wear?) to big

things (Where should we go on vacation

this summer?), asking for your

childrens input shows them that their

views count and that they have a part in

the decision making process.

11 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

The need to feel empowered never goes away. It only grows

stronger as we age. I know that when Im empowered in my job or

any aspect of my life, I feel independent, important, and capable.

Independent, important, and capable. Thats exactly how I want

my child to feel throughout his childhood, and well beyond.

You see, empowering children isnt about relinquishing parental

control. Its about letting kids to learn how to manage their time,

their impulses, and their goals.

Thats a total win-win.

*****

In Conclusion By now you may have noticed that the way to change your childs

behavior is really to change your own behavior.

1. Take care of yourself first.

2. Pay attention to your kids.

3. Empower your children.

If you start with these three changes in your behavior, youre sure

to see changes for the better in your childs behavior.

Heres to happy children and happy homes,

PeaceInYourHome.com

12 | P a g e

PeaceInYourHome.com

P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S. If you havent already done so, make sure you take some time

to head over to my website at www.PeaceInYourHome.com, where

youll find many, many more articles and resources on how to make

parenting easier.

And hey, if you enjoyed reading this guide and found what Ive been

sharing with you useful, why not tell a parent friend. Itll help me

out and Im sure your parent friend will thank you for it.