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© 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved

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ChapterChapter

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

Dealing Dealing with with

ConflictConflict

77

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Interpersonal DynamicsInterpersonal Dynamics

Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations

Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact

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Key Topics of Interpersonal Key Topics of Interpersonal DynamicsDynamics

Transactional Analysis

Assertiveness

Conflict Management

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Transactional Analysis (TA) Transactional Analysis (TA) Method for determining how people interactWhen we interact, behavior can be:

passiveaggressiveassertive

Performance is greater with this behaviorTA is a method of understanding behavior in

interpersonal dynamics

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TA: TA: Ego StatesEgo States Major ego states that affect our behavior or

the way we transact through communication:Parent Ego State (P)

Critical parentSympathetic parent

Child Ego State (C)Natural childAdapted child

Adult Ego State (A)

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TA: TA: Types of TransactionsTypes of Transactions Within ego states there are three different

types of transactions:Complementary TransactionsCrossed TransactionsUlterior Transactions

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Complementary Transactions Complementary Transactions Occur when the sender

of the message gets the intended response from the receiver

Generally result in more effective communication

Supervisor

P

A

C

P

A

C

Employee

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Crossed Transactions Crossed Transactions Occur when the sender

of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver

These result in surprise, disappointment, and hurt feelings for the sender of the message

P

A

C

P

A

C

Supervisor Employee

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Ulterior Transactions Ulterior Transactions Occur when the words seem to be coming

from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from anotherSometimes when people don’t know what they

want or how to ask for it in a direct way, they resort to ulterior transactions

Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time

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TA:TA: Life PositionsLife Positions

I’m OK –You’re not OK

I’m OK –You’re OK

I’m not OK –You’re not OK

I’m not OK –You’re OK

Negative Positive

Attitude toward Others

Attit

ude

towa

rd O

nese

lf

Negative

Positive

Exhibit 7.1

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TA: TA: StrokingStroking Stroking – any behavior that implies

recognition of another’s presencePositive – make people feel good about

themselvesNegative – can hurt people in some way

Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

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Assertiveness Assertiveness The process of expressing thoughts and

feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way

Present your message without falling into the traps of being:“too pushy” (aggressive)“not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)

Is becoming more global

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Behaviors when dealing with a Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people: diversity of people:

PassiveBehavior

AggressiveBehavior

Passive-AggressiveBehavior

AssertiveBehavior

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Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers: Speakers:

Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs

Assertive speakers: State their position / needs without violating the rights of others

Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

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Assertive Behavior Assertive Behavior Generally the most productive behaviorUsually the most effective method of getting

what you want while not taking advantage of others

Being assertive can create a win-win situation

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Assertiveness Steps Assertiveness Steps Step 1. Set an Objective:

Specify what you want to accomplishStep 2. Determine how to create a win-win

situation:Assess the situation in terms of meeting your

needs and the other person’s needsStep 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)Step 4. Implement your plan persistently

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Anger and Violence in the Anger and Violence in the Workplace Workplace

Human resources managers have reported increased violence between employeesWomen commit nearly 25 percent of all threats or

attacksViolence between outsiders and employees

is increasing1 million workers are assaulted every yearAnger can lead to violence

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Causes of Anger and Violence Causes of Anger and Violence Intrapersonal causes:

e.g., frustration, stress, and fearInterpersonal unresolved conflictsPhysical work environment:

e.g., space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color

Hostile work environment

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Dealing with Your Anger Dealing with Your Anger Use rational thinkingLook for positivesLook for the humor in the situation to help

defuse the angerUse assertive behaviorDevelop a positive attitude about how you

deal with angerUse an anger journal

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Dealing with Anger of Others Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2) (1 of 2)

Never make any type of putdown statementDon’t respond to anger and threats with the

same behaviorDon’t give orders or ultimatumsWatch your nonverbal communication

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Dealing with Anger of Others Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2)(2 of 2)

Realize that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways

Acknowledge the person’s feelingsGet away from the person if necessary

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Signs of Potential Violence Signs of Potential Violence Take verbal threats

seriouslyWatch nonverbal

communicationWatch for stalking and

harassmentWatch for damage to

property

• Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use

• Include the isolated employee

• Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons

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Organizational Prevention of Organizational Prevention of ViolenceViolence (1 of 2)(1 of 2)

Train all employees to deal with anger and prevent violenceA written policy addressing workplace violenceBest preventive policy is a zero-tolerance policy

Quick disciplinary action against employees who are violent at work

Managers need to avoid using aggression at work

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Organizational Prevention of Organizational Prevention of ViolenceViolence (2 of 2)(2 of 2)

Organizations can screen job applicants for past or potential violence

Develop a good work environment that addresses the issues as causes of violence

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Individual Prevention of ViolenceIndividual Prevention of ViolenceLook for escalating frustration and anger to

defuse the situation before it becomes violentNever be alone with a potentially violent

personNever stand between the person and the exitKnow when to get away from the person

Be aware of the organization’s policy for calling in security help

Report any troubling incidents to security staff

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Conflict Conflict Exists whenever two or more parties are in

disagreementIs inherent in an organizational systemCan increase as the workforce becomes

more diverseDealing with it is part of emotional

intelligence

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Reasons for Conflict Reasons for Conflict Communications problems or conflicts arise

for three primary reasons:1. We fail to make our expectations known to

other parties2. We fail to find out the expectations of other

parties3. We assume that the other parties have the

same expectations that we have

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Conflict Has Benefits Conflict Has Benefits Conflict can be beneficialA balance of conflict is essential to all

organizationsToo little or too much conflict is usually

considered a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment

Conflict can lead to improved performance, for example:Challenging present methodsPresenting innovative change

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Conflict Management Styles Conflict Management Styles

Exhibit 7.4

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Summary of Conflict Management Summary of Conflict Management Styles Styles

Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior

Avoiding Conflict Style: User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it

Accommodating Conflict Style:

User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party

Compromising Conflict Style:

User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions

Collaborating Conflict Style:

User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.The problem-solving style

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Roles in Conflict Resolution Roles in Conflict Resolution

Initiator

Responder

Mediator

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InitiatingInitiating Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model

Step 2. Implement your plan persistentlyStep 3. Make an agreement for change

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The The XYZ ModelXYZ Model The XYZ model describes a problem in

terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:

“When you do X (behavior),Y (consequences) happens,and I have Z (feelings).”

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RespondingResponding to Conflict Resolution to Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model

Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint

Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions

Step 4. Make an agreement for change

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MediatingMediating Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model

Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)Step 3. Develop alternative solutionsStep 4. Make an agreement for change and

follow up

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Interpersonal Dynamics StylesInterpersonal Dynamics Styles

Exhibit 7.6

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (1 of 3)(1 of 3)

People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types

If you have a high surgency personality –watch your use of the critical parent ego statebe sure to give lots of positive strokes to help

human relationsbe careful not to use aggressive behavior to get

what you want

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (2 of 3)(2 of 3)

If you have a high agreeableness personality,you tend to get along well with othersbe careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego

statewatch the appropriate use of the child ego state

Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotionsespecially anger

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics Dynamics (3 of 3)(3 of 3)

There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experienceIf you are not well adjusted, you are probably not

open to experienceIf you are a high conscientious personality,

you can still transact from the parent or child ego state