twelve steps to restoring harmony in wounded relationships

8/9/2019 Twelve Steps to Restoring Harmony in Wounded Relationships

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3;7; cy Dejsde G" @jnh\niq Ciche q|uly ajusqe tgq tsi||eb cy Sev" Dejsde G" @jnh ti|n dsg|i|ule fjs |njqe tnj ajbquh|el gbl eli|el"Sev" Dejsde G" @jnh ogy ce ajb|ga|el g| Cehojb| Q|see| Cg{|iq| Anusan( 35 Cehojb| Q|see|( Tjsaeq|es( OG ;76;5(dg`cqcaKvesi}jb"be|( 5;>/451/;173"Ghh Qasi{|use wuj|g|ijbq gse |gèb fsjo |ne NJHY CICHE( BET IB\ESBG\IJBGHVESQIJB" BIV" Aj{ysidn| 7941( 794>( 79>< cy Ib|esbg|ijbgh Ciche Qjaie|y" Uqel cy {esoiqqijb jf ]jblesvgb [uchiqnibdNjuqe gbl Njlles & Q|judn|jb( H|l" Ghh sidn|q seqesvel" \ne BIV ljeq bj| ag{i|ghi}e {sjbjubq sehg|el |j lei|y gbl |neqe og|esighqlj" \j seogib fgi|nfuh |j |ne BIV( bj angbdeq tese ogle tneb |ne BIV tgq ceibd wuj|el"

LISEA\IJBQ= \ne ajusqe {gs|iai{gb| qnjuhl g||eb|ivehy segl |ne Qasi{|use {gqqgde ib |ne neglibdgbl |ne seglibd |ng| fjhhjtq" Tnihe ojq| seglibdq gse jbe {gde( g fet gse hjbdes gbl g fet gse

qnjs|es" G muldoeb| jb |ne {gae g| tnian yju dj |nsjudn |niq ajusqe iq u{ |j yju gbl yjus oeb|jsq(|eganesq( js dsju{ heglesq" \nese iq bj beel |j nussy" \ne eo{ngqiq qnjuhl ghtgyq ce ojse jb

{sga|iaibd |ne Tjsl |ngb ublesq|gblibd i|q |eganibdq" Ogs` |ne {hgaeq tnese yju ngve wueq|ijbq |jliqauqq ti|n g oeb|js js dsju{ hegles" Ib g qe{gsg|e bj|ecjj`( njbeq|hy seq{jbl ib tsi|ibd |j |neNegs| Aneaù{q |ng| fjhhjt egan seglibd" I| iq ib|eblel |ng| yju tihh q{ebl qevesgh oibu|eq|nibìbd gbl {sgyibd gcju| |ne negs| aneaù{q" Gq ti|n evesy|nibd ib hife( yju tihh jbhy de| gq ouan

ju| jf |niq ajusqe gq yju {u| ib|j i|" Ib [gs| 7 jf |niq og|esigh te e~{hjse |ne bg|use jf fjsdivebeqq"Ib [gs| 3 te qngse |tehve q|e{q eqqeb|igh |j seq|jsibd ngsojby ib tjuhlel sehg|ijbqni{q"

\tehve Q|e{q

|j Seq|jsibdNgsojby ib

TjublelSehg|ijbqni{q


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[gs| 7Seglibdq 7/7;

Ublesq|gblibd

Fjsdivebeqq

Cefjse te e~{jqe yju |j |ne ga|ugh |tehve q|e{q |j seq|jsibd ngsojby( yju ouq| ublesq|gbl|ne bg|use jf cichiagh fjsdivebeqq" \ng| iq tng| te tihh q|uly ib |niq {gs| jf |niq ajusqe"


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Fjsdivebeqq iq g Dif|

E{neqigbq 7=1/7;0 3=


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Seglibd 3

Tng| iq Fjsdivebeqq:

Debeqiq 5;=75/37

Tneb Mjqe{n tgq g |eebgdes( niq csj|nesq tese djibd |j ihh nio cu| leailel |j qehh nio ib|jqhgvesy" \nib` gcju| tng| g |essiche |nibd |ney lil' Ne tgq si{{el gtgy fsjo niq fg|nes( fsieblq(

njoehgbl( gbl evesy|nibd fgoihigs" Ngvibd ceeb |seg|el gq g {sibae g| njoe( ne tgq bjt |seg|el gqg qhgve" I| iq ngsl |j iogdibe tng| ne tgq |nibìbd gq oeb hjjèl nio jves gbl cgs|esel fjs niq {siae"

Ne tgq ojse tsjbdel |ngb ojq| jf uq tihh eves ce"Mjqe{n eblel u{ g qhgve ib [j|i{ngsq njuqe" Tnihe |nese iq ouan |j |ne q|jsy( ib |ne ebl ne

sjqe |j dseg| neidn|q jf {jtes ib Edy{|" Tneb niq csj|nesq agoe |j Edy{| ib qegsan jf fjjl( |ney ngl|j |gh` |j Mjqe{n" Ne bet tnj |ney tese cu| |ney lil bj| bjt tnj ne tgq" Tneb ne seveghel niq

ileb|i|y( |ney tese aes|gib ne tgq djibd |j ìhh |neo" Ibq|egl( ne fjsdgve |neo"\njudn Mjqe{n hjjèl qibaese( |ne csj|nesq ngl |neis ljuc|q" \ney fegsel |ng| |ne jbhy segqjb

ne lil bj| ìhh |neo tgq |j q{gse fus|nes dsief |j |neis gdel fg|nes" Tneb Mgajc liel( i| aseg|el g betasiqiq ib |ne fgoihy" Mjqe{nq csj|nesq fegsel fjs |neis hiveq gbl jffesel |neoqehveq |j Mjqe{n |j ceniq qhgveq" Mjqe{n ogdbgbiojuqhy ajub|esel( Yju ib|eblel |j ngso oe( cu| Djl ib|eblel i| fjs djjl|j gaajo{hiqn tng| iq bjt ceibd ljbe( |ne qgvibd jf ogby hiveq" Qj |neb( ljb$| ce gfsgil" I tihh

{sjvile fjs yju gbl yjus anihlseb" Ne segqqusel |neo |ng| niq {sjoiqe jf fjsdivebeqq tgq debuibegbl ne q{jè ìblhy |j |neo"

Tng| iq fjsdivebeqq: I| iq g {sjoiqe yju ogè |j qjoejbe tnj ngq tsjbdel yju |ng| yjutihh beves gdgib sgiqe |neis jffebqe .7) |j |neo( .3) |j j|nesq( gbl .1) |j yjusqehf"

Fisq|( tneb yju fjsdive( yju gse {sjoiqibd |ng| yju tihh beves gdgib njhl g q{eaifia jffebqe

gdgibq| |ne {esqjb tnj nus| yju" I| iq ghh |jj ajoojb fjs {ej{he tnj ngve ceeb nus| |j ajb|ibuenjhlibd g dsulde gdgibq| |ne {esqjb tnj tsjbdel |neo" I| iq Djl/hiè( njteves( |j {sjoiqe bevesgdgib sgiqe |ne jffebqe gdgib" Djl èe{q bj seajsl jf |ne tsjbdq |ng| ngve ceeb fjsdiveb" [qgho

71;=1/< qgyq(If yju( J Hjsl( è{| g seajsl jf qibq( J Hjsl( tnj ajuhl q|gbl: Cu| ti|n yju |neseiq fjsdivebeqq0 |nesefjse yju gse fegsel" Djl èe{q bj seajsl jf tsjbdq( bjs qnjuhl yju" Ib 7Ajsib|nigbq 71=5 i| qgyq( hjve èe{q bj seajsl jf tsjbdq" Qj( tneb yju fjsdive g {esqjb( yju gse

{sjoiqibd nio |ng| yju tihh beves gdgib csibd u{ fjsdiveb jffebqeq"Qeajbl( tneb yju fjsdive( yju gse {sjoiqibd |ng| yju tihh bj| |gh` gcju| |ne jffebqe gdgibti|n j|nesq" Tneb qjoejbe nus|q yju( i| iq bg|usgh |j tgb| |j veb| yjus eoj|ijbq |j qjoejbe( |j

debesg|e ihh/feehibdq ib j|nesq |jtgsl nio( js |j qoegs niq se{u|g|ijb ib |ne oiblq jf j|nesq" I| iqDjlq tihh fjs yju |j {sjoiqe |ng| yju tihh beves lj |neqe |nibdq" \ne jbhy |ioe yju agb |gh` |jj|nesq gcju| jffebqeq iq tneb yju gse qeeìbd djlhy ajubqeh |j neh{ yju he| dj jf |ne ci||esbeqq yju

feeh( |j fjsdive( gbl |j qee` seajbaihig|ijb" Gq yju agb qee( |ne sidn|beqq js tsjbdbeqq jf |ghìbd |jj|nesq gcju| gb jffebqe qjoejbe ehqe lil |j yju hieq ib yjus oj|iveq"

\nisl( tneb yju fjsdive( yju gse {sjoiqibd bj| |j sgiqe gb jffebqe gdgib ib yjus jtb oibl"\ne {sjoiqe iq |j gvjil csjjlibd gq ouan gq gbl gq qjjb gq {jqqiche" \niq ogy ce |ne |judneq| jf|ne |nsee {sjoiqeq |j èe{" Gf|es ghh( yjus oibl iq tnese |ne nus| iq hjldel" \ne jbhy tgy |j qe|

yjusqehf fsee fsjo csjjlibd gbl ci||esbeqq iq |j q|gs| cy ajooi||ibd yjusqehf |j bj| csjjl" Ti|nDjlq neh{ gbl yjus ajj{esg|ijb( i| agb ng{{eb ib |ioe"

Tng| ljeq i| oegb |j qgy |njqe |nsee qio{he tjslq( I fjsdive yju: I| oegbq yju gse

{sjoiqibd beves |j sgiqe gb jffebqe gdgib |j yjus jffeblel( |j j|nesq( gbl |j yjusqehf" Mjqe{n è{|niq {sjoiqeq gbl te qnjuhl èe{ jusq"

Negs| Aneaù{= Iq |nese gby jffebqe yju èe{ csibdibd u{ ti|n qjoejbe tnj ngq jffeblel yju:

Iq |nese qjoejbe |jtgsl tnjo yju tgb| j|nesq |j ngve ihh/feehibdq ceaguqe jf |ne ihh feehibdq yjungve |jtgsl nio: Iq |neis qjoejbe tnjqe jffebqe yju agbbj| de| ju| jf yjus oibl:


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Seglibd 1

Fjsdivebeqq & Feehibdq

Ga|q 4=57/6;

Q|e{neb hef| njoe jbe ojsbibd bj| g| ghh `bjtibd tng| |ne lgy tjuhl csibd" Ne teb| ju||j hive niq lgy fjs Ansiq| gbl tgq gsseq|el fjs ceibd g hegles ib |ne Ansiq|igb ojveoeb|" Ne tgq |siel

cefjse |ne Qgbnelsib tnese ne tgq ghhjtel |j |eq|ify ib niq lefebqe" Ne uqel |niq j{{js|ubi|y |jqnjt |ng| Mequq tgq |ne Ansiq|( |ng| |ne Qgbnelsib ìhhel |ne Ansiq|( |ng| |ne Ansiq| sjqe gdgib( gbl

|ng| |ne Ansiq| tjuhl fjsdive |neo u{jb se{eb|gbae" \ney seq{jblel fusijuqhy g| |ne {sj{jqi|ijb |ng|Mequq tgq |ne Ansiq| gbl |ne gaauqg|ijb |ng| |ney ihhel |ne Ansiq|" \ney cedgb |j q|jbe nio |j leg|nfjs chgq{neoy" \nese Q|e{neb q|ubq uq gq ne fjsdiveq |njqe tnj tese {eh|ibd nio ti|n q|jbeq" Neajuhl bj| ngve feh| hiè fjsdivibd |ne {ej{he cu| tgq gche |j lj qj ju| jf gb ga| jf niq tihh |ng| tgq

qu{esbg|usghhy ebgchel cy Djl"Tneb qjoejbe nus|q yju( yju iooelig|ehy de| gbdsy gbl feeh gbiojqi|y |jtgsl nio" \niq

iq bjsogh" I| jbhy oegbq |ng| yjus eoj|ijbgh qyq|eo iq tjsìbd ajssea|hy" Cu|( ib |ne oilq| jf |neqeeoj|ijbq( |ne Njhy Q{isi| tihh seoibl yju |ng| yju ngve g ojsgh jchidg|ijb |j fjsdive |njqe |ng||seq{gqq gdgibq| yju" \ne Q{isi| qgyq |niq |j yju g| g |ioe tneb fjsdivibd nio iq |ne hgq| |nibd ib |ne

tjshl |ng| yju feeh hiè ljibd"I| iq ajoojb |j feeh hiè yju gse ceibd g ny{jasi|e if yju dsgb| fjsdivebeqq ti|nju| feehibd

hiè ljibd qj ib yjus negs|" Cu| |nib` gcju| |niq= If yju tgi| ub|ih yju feeh hiè fjsdivibd( yju tihh

{sjcgchy beves fjsdive" Yju qee( fjsdivebeqq iq qjoe|nibd te dsgb| eveb |njudn te lj bj| feeh hièjffesibd i|" I| iq |niq tgy ti|n ogby ga|q jf Ansiq|igb ìblbeqq" Yju lj bj| jffes fjsdivebeqq ceaguqeyju feeh hiè i|" Yju dsgb| i| ceaguqe i| iq |ne ojsghhy sidn| |nibd |j lj"

Fjsdivebeqq iq g lu|y te {esfjso ju| jf hjve fjs |njqe tnj qib gdgibq| uq eveb if te lj bj|feeh hiè ljibd qj" Hjve iq |nibìbd gbl ga|ibd ib |esoq jf gbj|nes {esqjbq ceq| ib|eseq|q ib q{i|e jfnjt te feeh js tng| i| ajq|q uq" Te fjsdive gq gb ga| jf hjve( gq gb ga| jf jceliebae |j |ne tihh jf

Djl( gbl gq gb ga| jf |ne tihh" Te ljb| he| jus eoj|ijbq q|gbl ib |ne tgy jf ljibd |ne sidn| |nibd"Tnihe fjsdivebeqq iq qjoe|nibd te uqughhy lj ib q{i|e jf njt te feeh( i| j{ebq |ne ljjs fjs |ne gbdesgbl gbiojqi|y |j heg` ju| jf uq ib ouan |ne tgy gis jf|eb heg`q ju| jf g fhg| |ise"

Fjsdivibd ljeq bj| esgliag|e |ne oeojsy jf |ne tjubl qjoejbe ibfhia|el jb yju"Aisauoq|gbaeq tihh ajb|ibue |j |siddes |ne oeojsy jf |ne nus|fuh tjsl js leel" \njqe oeojsieq tihhaguqe yju |j feeh |ne nus|( gbdes( gbl gbiojqi|y ghh jves gdgib" \neb( gq yju seoeoces yjus

fjsdivebeqq {sjoiqeq( yju agb de| g dsi{ jb yjus negs| gdgib gbl qe||he |ne bedg|ive eoj|ijbq ljtbgdgib ti|n neh{ fsjo Djl" Yju ogy dj |nsjudn |niq ayahe ogby |ioeq cefjse yju feeh hiè yju ngvefibghhy gbl fuhhy fjsdiveb |ne {esqjb tnj nus| yju" Nj{efuhhy( yju tihh feeh g hi||he heqq gbdes gbl

gbiojqi|y ti|n egan ayahe ub|ih |ne lgy ajoeq tneb yju agb seoeoces |ne jffebqe ti|nju| feehibdgby jf |ne nus|( gbdes( gbl gbiojqi|y |ng| jbe teb| ti|n i|"

Negs| Aneaù{= Njt jf|eb ngve yju fgihel |j fjsdive qjoejbe ceaguqe yju lil bj| feeh hièfjsdivibd |neo: Njt jf|eb lj yju fjsdive {ej{he ju| jf hjve cy gb ga| jf yjus tihh ib q{i|e jf njt

yju feeh: Njt jf|eb ngve yju e~{esiebael |ne oeojsy jf gb jffebqe ti|nju| feehibd ghh |ne {gib(sgde( ci||esbeqq( gbl seqeb|oeb| |ng| jbae teb| ti|n i|:


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Seglibd )"Gse te djibd |j ce Ansiq|/fjhhjtesq ib tjslq jbhy js ghqj ib leelq: Fjsdivebeqq ljeq bj|

beel |j ce egsbel cy oee|ibd ogb/ogle sewuiseoeb|q" I| iq ghtgyq g fsee dif| jf dsgae e~|eblel u{jbjbeq g{jhjdy"

Negs| Anea`u{= Iq |nese gbyjbe ib yjus hife fjs tnjo yju gse tgi|ibd fjs ojse |ngb gb g{jhjdycefjse yju fjsdive |neo: Ngve yju gllel gby glli|ijbgh sewuiseoeb|q ceyjbl tng| |ne Hjslsewuiseq jf |neo: Gse yju tgi|ibd |j ce fuhhy {esquglel jf qjoejbeq qibaesi|y gbl qesijuqbeqq

cefjse yju e~|ebl fjsdivebeqq:


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Seglibd 4

[jiqel |j Fjsdive

Og||net 6=9/75

\ne eo{ngqiq jf |ne Hjslq |eganibdq jb fjsdivebeqq iq bj| jb |ne q{eaifia ajbli|ijbq jbeouq| oee| ib jsles |j seaeive fjsdivebeqq" \ne eo{ngqiq jf Qasi{|use iq jb ogìbd uq ib|j debesjuq

fjsdivesq tnj gse wuia` |j fjsdive j|nesq" Jus jcqeqqijb ti|n |ne sewuiseoeb|q gbj|nes ouq| oee|iq sjj|el ib jus qibfuh gbl qehfiqn bg|useq"

Djl q|gblq {jiqel |j fjsdive g| ghh |ioeq" \ne qgasifiaeq jf Djl gse g csjèb q{isi|0 g csjèbgbl ajb|si|e negs|( J Djl( yju tihh bj| leq{iqe .[qgho 57=74)" Bj qib iq |jj dseg| fjs Djl |j fjsdive"Gq nuogb jffebqeq gdgibq| Djl ibasegqel( Niq dsgae ibasegqel ghh |ne ojse .Sjogbq 5=33)"Djlq|gblq {jiqel |j fjsdive gby qib gq qjjb gq g qio{he gbl qibaese g{jhjdy iq ogle"

Hiè Djl( te gse |j q|gbl {jiqel |j fjsdive gby qib gbyjbe ajooi|q gdgibq| uq gq qjjb gq gqio{he gbl qibaese g{jhjdy iq ogle" Te ogy beves ce ojse hiè Djl ib angsga|es |ngb tneb te

q|gbl {jiqel |j fjsdive |njqe tnj |seq{gqq gdgibq| uq" Njt segly gse yju |j fjsdive j|nesq:\ne Hjsl |gudn| uq |j gq` jus Fg|nes ib Negveb |j fjsdive uq jf jus qibq ti|n |ne qgoe heveh

jf debesjqi|y ti|n tnian te fjsdive |njqe tnj nus| uq .Og||net 6=73)" \ng| iq wui|e g {sgyes' Lj

yju jbhy tgb| Djl |j ce gq dsgaijuq gbl debesjuq ti|n Niq fjsdivebeqq jf yjus qibq gq yju gse ti|n|ne qibq jf |njqe tnj nus| yju: \ne anief gio jf |ne Og||net 6=73 {sgyes iq |j ogè dsgaijuq gbldebesjuq fjsdivesq ju| jf uq"

Tng| iq |ne gh|esbg|ive: \ne jbhy gh|esbg|iveq gse vebdegbae gbl ci||esbeqq" Lj yju seghhytgb| |j seogib q{i|efuh js seqeb|fuh fjs |ne seq| jf yjus hife: If bj|( yju ngve bj gh|esbg|ive cu| |jfjsdive"

Ib Ajhjqqigbq 1=71 i| qgyq yju gse |jfjsdive tng|eves dsievgbaeq yju ogy ngve gdgibq| jbe

gbj|nes" Fjsdive gq |ne Hjsl fjsdgve yju"Uh|iog|ehy( |j ce ib |ne tihh jf Djl( yju ouq| q|gbl{jiqel |j fjsdive evesy {esqjb fjs evesy nus| |ney ngve ibfhia|el jb yju" Gq qjjb gq gb jffebqejaausq( I ouq| seoibl oyqehf |ng| I go uh|iog|ehy djibd |j ngve |j fjsdive |niq {esqjb fjs |ng|

jffebqe" Bj qib ajooi||el gdgibq| Djl iq ceyjbl Djlq fjsdivebeqq" I qnjuhl gio |j ogè bj qibgdgibq| oe ceyjbl oy fjsdivebeqq"

Cy q|gblibd {jiqel |j fjsdive( yju dive yjus negs| {esoiqqijb |j cedib he||ibd dj jf ghh jf |nenus|( gbdes( seqeb|oeb|( gbl gbiojqi|y yju njhl |jtgsl |ne {esqjb tnj nus| yju" If yju ljb| diveyjus negs| quan {esoiqqijb( yju gse jbhy nus|ibd yjusqehf" Yju gse ghhjtibd |j~ia tgq|e |j leq|sjy

yjus cjly( qjuh( q{isi|( gbl sehg|ijbqni{q" \niq iq eq{eaighhy |sue ti|n yjus sehg|ijbqni{ ti|n Djl" \neHjsl Mequq qgil( Fjs if yju fjsdive oeb tneb |ney qib gdgibq| yju( yjus negvebhy Fg|nes tihh ghqjfjsdive yju" Cu| if yju lj bj| fjsdive oeb |neis qibq( yjus Fg|nes tihh bj| fjsdive yjus qibq .Og||net

6=7


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Seglibd >

Fiblibd I| iq Egqies |j Fjsdive

Og||net 7>=37/33

I| iq egqies |j fjsdive g {esqjb tneb te qee qibaese qidbq jf se{eb|gbae jb |neis {gs| quan gqqjssjt( g{jhjdieq( seq|i|u|ijb( gbl dugsgb|eeq jf bet cengvijsq" Qjoe|ioeq i| iq egqies |j fjsdivetneb te agb ublesq|gbl tny g {esqjb lil tng| ne lil" I| iq uqughhy egqies |j fjsdive gb ibglves|eb|

jffebqe |ngb gb ib|eb|ijbgh jbe" Cu| tng| agb ogè i| egqies |j fjsdive tneb |nese gse bj qidbq jf

se{eb|gbae tng|qjeves: Ubles quan aisauoq|gbaeq( gse yju {esoi||el |j njhl jb |j yjus gbdes: Ngveyju bj anjiae cu| |j seogib ci||es gbl q{i|efuh fjs |ne seq| jf yjus hife:

Ib |jlgyq Qasi{|use seglibd |ne Hjsl Mequq |eganeq uq |ng| i| egqies |j fjsdive j|nesq tnebte ublesq|gbl |ng| i| iq Ansiq|q tihh fjs uq |j ceajoe debesjuq fjsdivesq" \ne Hjsl qgil te qnjuhl

fjsdive qeveb|y qeveb |ioeq" Gse te |j |gè Nio hi|esghhy: Tgq Ne |eganibd uq |j èe{ oe|iauhjuqseajslq jf {ej{heq jffebqeq: Bj| g| ghh" Ne tgq q{egìbd ib gcqusli|ieq |j ogè g {jib|" Niq {jib|tgq |ng| i| iq egqies |j fjsdive j|nesq tneb yju ublesq|gbl |ng| Ne tgb|q Niq fjhhjtesq |j ceajoe

debesjuq fjsdivesq"Te qgt |niq qgoe ibl jf gcqusli|y ib Huè 74=1" \nese Ne qgil(If yjus csj|nes qibq( secuè

nio( gbl if ne se{eb|q( fjsdive nio" If ne qibq gdgibq| yju qeveb |ioeq ib g lgy( gbl qeveb |ioeq

ajoeq cga` |j yju gbl qgyq( I se{eb|( fjsdive nio" Te tjuhl wueq|ijb |ne qibaesi|y jf qjoejbetnj nus|q uq qeveb |ioeq ib g lgy gbl qgil Io qjssy egan |ioe" Yju qee( |ne Hjsl Mequq iq bj|{siogsihy leghibd nese ti|n |ne {esqjb tnj iq ljibd |ne nus|ibd" Ne iq {siogsihy leghibd ti|n |ne

{esqjb tnj ngq ceeb nus|" Ne iq |eganibd |ne nus| {esqjb |ng| i| iq egqies |j fjsdive j|nesq tneb yjulevehj{ g q{isi|ugh {seliq{jqi|ijb |jtgsl ceajoibd g debesjuq fjsdives"

\ne Hjsl Mequq qe| gb e~go{he fjs uq" Tneb |ne Sjogbq agoe |j |ne {hgae aghhel |ne Qùhh(

|nese |ney asuaifiel nio( ghjbd ti|n |ne asioibghqjbe jb niq sidn|( |ne j|nes jb niq hef|" Mequq qgil(

#Fg|nes( fjsdive |neo( fjs |ney lj bj| `bjt tng| |ney gse ljibd# .Huè 31=11/1


11/32

Seglibd 9

Ogìbd I| iq Egqies |j Fjsdive

Og||net 7>=31/15

Gq te qgt ib |ne {sevijuq seglibd( i| iq egqies |j fjsdive tneb yju ublesq|gbl |ng| i| iqAnsiq|q tihh fjs yju |j ceajoe g debesjuq fjsdives" Ib |niq seglibd te tihh qee |ng| i| iq egqies tneb

yju g{{seaig|e njt ouan Djl ngq fjsdiveb yju" \j ogè |niq {jib| |ne Hjsl Mequq |jhl |ne {gsgchejf |ne uboesaifuh qesvgb|" Ib Niq q|jsy( |ne ìbd tgq Djl( |ne {ej{he tese qibbesq( gbl |ne lec|q

tese qibq |ng| beelel |j ce fjsdiveb"Gq |ne @ibd q|gs|el ajhhea|ibd( jbe lec|js tgq csjudn| cefjse nio tnj jtel ,7;;(;;;" Niq

qi|ug|ijb tgq nj{eheqq" \ne ìbd jslesel nio( ghjbd ti|n niq tife( gbl anihlseb |j ce gua|ijbel g||ne qhgve ogsè|" \ne iblec|el ogb |nset nioqehf g| |ne ìbd$q fee| gbl ceddel fjs ojse |ioe |j

se{gy" \ne ìbd seghi}el |ne ogb ajuhl beves {gy cga` |ne hjgb" Ne seghi}el |ng| ne tgq ag{gche jfgcqjscibd |ne hjqqeq" Ojvel ti|n ajo{gqqijb( ne ajo{he|ehy agbaehhel |ne lec|"

Gq |ne fjsdiveb ogb tghèl ju| jf |ne ibdq {ghgae( ne ebajub|esel g fsiebl tnj jtel nio,7;" Ne dsgccel nio cy |ne |nsjg| gbl leogblel |ne ojbey" \ne cjssjtes |nset nioqehf g| |neheblesq fee| gbl ceddel fjs oesay" \ne hebles seogibel ubojvel cy |ne cjssjtesq ngslqni{" Ne

ajuhl ngve gcqjscel |ne hjqqeq nioqehf gbl agbaehhel |ne ogbq lec|" Ibq|egl( ne ngl nio |nsjtbib|j g lec|jsq {siqjb ub|ih niq fgoihy ajuhl ajoe u{ ti|n |ne agqn"

\ne ìbd negsl gcju| |niq gbl tgq ju|sgdel" Ne qgil |j |ne uboesaifuh ogb( Yju evih

qucmea|' I fjsdgve yjus eb|ise lec| jf ,7;;(;;; tneb yju ceddel oe fjs oesay" Qnjuhlb$| yju ngveceeb oesaifuh |j yjus fehhjt qesvgb| tnj gqèl fjs oesay jb g ,7; lec|: \ne ìbd |neb jslesel|ng| |ne uboesaifuh ogb ce |nsjtb ib|j g lec|jsq {siqjb ub|ih ne {gil cga` niq lec|"

I| iq egqies |j fjsdive j|nesq tneb yju g{{seaig|e njt ouan yju ngve ceeb fjsdiveb cy Djl"\ne nus|q |ng| j|nesq ajooi| gdgibq| yju gse fet gbl qoghh ib ajo{gsiqjb |j |njqe yju ngveajooi||el gdgibq| Djl" Te lj bj| fuhhy g{{seaig|e njt ouan Djl ngq fjsdiveb uq"

Yju tjuhl feeh ubajofjs|gche asgthibd gsjubl ib |ne |ubbehq jf g ai|y qetes qyq|eo" Jb |nej|nes ngbl( g qetes sg| iq ajofjs|gche ti|n i|q qidn|q( jljsq( gbl fhgvjsq" Hiètiqe( yju gseajofjs|gche ti|n |ne qidn|q( qjublq( gbl fhgvjsq jf g qib/fihhel tjshl" Yju gse gaauq|joel |j

asgthibd gsjubl ib qehfiqnbeqq( liqnjbeq|y( {sile( ibliffesebae( ce|sgygh( qebqughi|y( dseel( gbdes( gblebvy" Bj| qj ti|n Djl" Ne agbbj| |jhesg|e g ci| jf evih ib Niq {seqebae .Ngcg`ù` 7=71)"Iogdibe |ng| yju q|gs|el qibbibd tneb yju tese five yegsq jhl( |ng| yju qibbel gdgibq| Djl

g oese |nsee |ioeq egan lgy jf yjus hife( gbl |ng| yju liel g| |ne gde jf 4;" Yju tihh ngve jffeblelDjl ti|n 45(555 qibq cy |ne |ioe yju q|jjl ib muldoeb| cefjse |ne Djl tnj agbbj| |jhesg|e g ci|jf qehfiqnbeqq( liqnjbeq|y( {sile( edj|iqo( gb~ie|y( ibliffesebae( ce|sgygh( qebqughi|y( dseel( gbdes(

gbl ebvy ib Niq {seqebae" \niq iq g fsidn|ebibd |njudn| tneb yju ajbqiles |ng| |ne Ciche |eganeq |ng|i| jbhy |gèq jbe qib gdgibq| |ne {esfea|hy {use Djl |j ajbleob yju fjseves" Djl iq qj {use |ng| if

gbyjbe ajooi|q g qibdhe qib gdgibq| Nio( ne iq muq| gq tjs|ny jf ajbleobg|ijb gq |ne {esqjb tnjngq csjèb evesy ajoogbl .Mgoeq 3=7;)"

Ti|nju| g segh ublesq|gblibd jf |ne {esfea| {usi|y jf Djl gbl |ne {es{e|ugh io{usi|y jf

nuogbìbl( yju agbbj| g{{seaig|e |ng| Djl ngq fjsdiveb yju jf ,7;;(;;;" If yju agbbj| g{{seaig|ei|( yju gse djibd |j tgh` ju| jf Djlq {seqebae( fibl {ej{he tnj ngve nus| yju |j |ne gojub| jf ,7;(dsgc |neo cy |ne |nsjg|( gbl sefuqe |j fjsdive |neo" Yju agb qee tny i| iq egqies |j fjsdive j|nesq

tneb yju g{{seaig|e njt ouan yju ngve ceeb fjsdiveb" \ne seghi}g|ijb tihh neh{ yju ceajoe gojse debesjuq fjsdives"

Negs| Aneaù{= Njt gtgse gse yju jf Djlq {esfea| {usi|y( yjus {es{e|ugh io{usi|y( yjus

tjs|nibeqq jf e|esbgh ajbleobg|ijb( gbl |ne debesjqi|y jf Djlq fjsdivebeqq: Njt lj |neqe seghi|ieqeffea| |ne tgy yju fjsdive |njqe tnj jte yju gb g{jhjdy:


12/32

Seglibd 7;

Wueq|ijbq Gcju| Fjsdivibd

E~jluq 33=7/75

Qnjuhl seq|i|u|ijb ce ogle gq {gs| jf |ne fjsdivebeqq {sjaeqq:

\ne {esqjb tnj nus| yju ljeq bj| beel |j ogè seq|i|u|ijb ib jsles fjs yju |j fjsdive |neo"

Yju muq| dsgb| |ne {sjoiqeq jf fjsdivebeqq tneb |ne {esqjb g{jhjdi}eq" G qibaesehy se{eb|gb| {esqjb(njteves( qnjuhl jffes |j ogè qjoe ibl jf seq|i|u|ijb if i| iq {jqqiche" \ng| tihhibdbeqq tjuhl ogè

i| egqies fjs |ne {esqjb ne nus| |j e~|ebl fjsdivebeqq" Ib ojq| agqeq( njteves( seq|i|u|ijb iqio{jqqiche" Fjs e~go{he( if I qgy qjoe|nibd nus|fuh |j qjoejbe( njt ajuhl I eves |gè oy tjslqcga`: Njt ajuhl I ogè g se{gyoeb|: Fjs j|nes jffebqeq( I ogy ce gche |j se{hgae js se{gisqjoe|nibd" I go bj| quse( njteves( i| iq ib |ne q{isi| jf Ansiq| fjs yju |j sewuise gb g{jhjdy gbl

seq|i|u|ijb cefjse yju dsgb| yjus fjsdivebeqq"

Go I |j fjsdive if |ne {esqjb nus|q oe ouh|i{he |ioeq:

Ib Huè 74=1/< |ne Hjsl qgil |ng| te gse |j fjsdive eveb if g {esqjb nus|q uq qeveb |ioeq g

lgy" Ib Og||net 7>=37/33 Ne qgil |ng| te gse |j fjsdive g {esqjb qeveb|y/qeveb |ioeq" Ahegshy( jusHjsl ib|eblq uq |j èe{ jb fjsdivibd eveb if |ne {esqjb nus|q uq gdgib gbl gdgib"

Iq |nese gby|nibd ehqe I agb lj if qjoejbe èe{q nus|ibd oe ceqileq èe{ fjsdivibd |neo:

If g nuqcgbl èe{q jb ceg|ibd niq tife( ljeq qne muq| èe{ jb fjsdivibd nio: If gb ghajnjhiaoj|nes èe{q bedhea|ibd nes anihlseb( lj nes anihlseb muq| èe{ jb fjsdivibd nes: If g lsud gcuqes

èe{q jb q|eghibd ojbey fsjo niq {gseb|q( lj |ney muq| èe{ jb fjsdivibd nio: If g lgudn|es èe{qcehi||hibd nes {gseb|q ib fsjb| jf j|nesq( qnjuhl |ney qio{hy èe{ jb fjsdivibd nes: \ne gbqtes iqyeq gbl bj"

Jb |ne jbe ngbl( te gse seq{jbqiche |j ee{ jb fjsdivibd |njqe tnj ee{ jb qibbibd gdgibq|uq" Djl ee{q jb dsgaijuqhy fjsdivibd {ej{he fjs |ne qgoe qibq gdgibq| Nio jves gbl jves gdgib" Teouq| lj |ne qgoe .Ajhjqqigbq 1=71)"

Jb |ne j|nes ngbl( te qnjuhl lj ojse |ngb muq| fjsdive" Hjve sewuiseq uq |j ghtgyq |nib`q

gbl ga|q ib |esoq jf gbj|nesq ceq| ib|eseq|q" I| iq bj| ib |ne ceq| ib|eseq|q jf gbyjbe |j qio{hy dj jbfjsdivibd |ne nus|q jf g {esqjb tnj ngq g angsga|es iqque |ng| èe{q jb nus|ibd j|nes {ej{he" \ne

angsga|es iqque beelq |j ce gllseqqel cy ajssea|ijb( liqai{hibe( {ubiqnoeb|( sengcihi|g|ijb(ajubqehibd( hedgh ga|ijb( js tng|eves" G hjvibd {esqjb ouq| leaile( Tng| ljeq |niq {esqjb beel ibglli|ijb |j oy fjsdivebeqq: Tng| tihh i| |gè |j neh{ {seveb| |niq {esqjb fsjo nus|ibd oe gbl

j|nesq:

Ngve I fjsdiveb g {esqjb if te lj bj| ceajoe djjl fsieblq gdgib:

Tneb te fjsdive gbj|nes te gse {sjoiqibd |ng| |ne fuba|ijbibd jf jus sehg|ijbqni{ tihh bj|ce niblesel cy |ne oeojsy jf {gq| nus|q" I| ljeq bj| oegb |ng| te bjt ga| gq if bj|nibd eves

ng{{ebel" Qjoe|nibd lil ng{{eb" \ne sehg|ijbqni{ ngq e~{esiebael g qe|cga`" \suq| ogy ngve ceeb

csjèb gbl ogy ce ib beel jf secuihlibd" Hjve ogy bj| fhjt gq fseehy cga` gbl fjs|n gq i| lil cefjse"Tneb te fjsdive te gse qgyibd( I fjsdive yju" Bjt I tgb| |j cedib secuihlibd jus sehg|ijbqni{"

Qjoe|ioeq( gf|es dsgb|ibd fjsdivebeqq( te agb muq| {ia` u{ tnese te hef| jff" Qjoe|ioeq |nesehg|ijbqni{ ogy beves se|usb |j tng| i| tgq" Gbl qjoe|ioeq i| de|q ce||es |ngb eves" I| ghh le{eblqjb |ne bg|use jf |ne nus| gbl |ne bg|use jf |ne sehg|ijbqni{ cefjse |ne nus| tgq ibfhia|el"

Negs| Aneaù{= Iq |nese gbyjbe tnj se{eg|elhy nus|q yju: Gse yju gche |j èe{ fjsdivibd nio:Tng| ljeq ne beel ib glli|ijb |j yjus fjsdivebeqq: Tng| tihh i| |gè |j neh{ {seveb| nio fsjonus|ibd j|nesq:


13/32

[gs| 3Seglibd 77/3


14/32

Seglibd 77

Q|e{ Jbe= Lgogde Ajb|sjh

[sjvescq 77=710 71=10 74=34/3>0 Sjogbq 73=74/37

\ne E~~jb Vghle} tgq g hgsde qni{ ag{gche jf agssyibd 7"5 oihhijb cgssehq jf asule jih" I|q|sua` |ne Chidn Seef jb Ogsan 39 gbl aseg|el jbe jf |ne tjsq| ogb/ogle ebvisjboeb|gh

liqgq|esq jf ghh |ioe" Tg|es wughi|y( fiqn( qeg j||esq( qeghq( qeg cislq( gbl ogsibe {hgb| hife tese ghh|nseg|ebel" G ouan hgsdes gseg tjuhl ngve ceeb effea|el if i| teseb| fjs |ne dghhgb| effjs|q jf

djvesboeb| gbl {sivg|e ibluq|sy |j hioi| |ne lgogde cy {u||ibd be||ibd ghh gsjubl |ne fsee/fhjg|ibdasule jih" Ibveq|idg|ijbq ib|j tng| teb| tsjbd gbl heqqjbq |j ce hegsbel fsjo |niq liqgq|es ghh ngl|j tgi|" Lgogde ajb|sjh tgq |ne fisq| ajbaesb"

\ne qgoe iq |sue tneb liqgq|es q|sièq g sehg|ijbqni{" Ouan tjs` ogy beel |j ce ljbe |j

seq|jse |ne ngsojby cu| i| ouq| tgi| ub|ih |ne lgogde iq ajb|gibel" Ib sehg|ijbqni{q te {sga|iaelgogde ajb|sjh cy èe{ibd |ne iqque gbl cy bj| se|ghig|ibd"

Fisq|( te èe{ |ne og||es gq qoghh gbl {sivg|e gq {jqqiche " Tneb qjoejbe nus|q yju( yjusfisq| ibq|iba| iq |j |ehh qjoejbeg q{juqe( g fsiebl( g ajtjsès" Cu| iq i| seghhy beaeqqgsy |ng| |ney`bjt: \ney ogy |ehh g fet ojse {ej{he gbl( cefjse yju `bjt i|( |ne og||es iq ojse ajo{he~ |j

seqjhve" \ne lgogde ngq q{segl"Tneb qjoejbe nus|q oe( oy fisq| ibahibg|ijb iq |j |ehh oy tife" Ive liqajvesel( njteves(

|ng| oy oj|iveq fjs tgb|ibd |j lj qj gse qehljo {use" I ogy muq| tgb| |j veb| oy eoj|ijbq js I ogy

tgb| |j aseg|e ihh/feehibdq ib oy tife |jtgsl |ne {esqjb tnj nus| oe" Cu|( ib |ne [sjvescq( i| iqleeoel g hga` jf qehf/ajb|sjh |j muq| veb| oy |njudn|q gbl eoj|ijbq .[sjvescq 7;=790 77=730 71=1074=34/3>)" Gbl i| iq g fjso jf qhgbles |j |sy |j debesg|e ihh/feehibdq |jtgsl gbj|nes .[sjvescq 7;=7>0

E{neqigbq


15/32

Seglibd 73

Q|e{ \tj= \sy |j Jveshjj` |ne Jffebqe

Huè 31=11/1=75

Gaajslibd |j Og||net 5=31/3=75( tnj ljeq |ne Hjsl ogè seq{jbqiche |j |gè |ne ibi|ig|ive |j seq|jsengsojby ib g sehg|ijbqni{|ne {esqjb tnj nus| gbj|nes js |ne {esqjb tnj ngq ceeb nus|:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Gq yju agb qee( tne|nes yju gse |ne jffebles js |ne jffeblel( |ne Hjsl njhlq yju seq{jbqiche|j |gè |ne ibi|ig|ive |j seq|jse ngsojby" I agb |nib` jf g| hegq| |nsee segqjbq tny |nese iq ouan

tiqljo ib Ansiq|q ibq|sua|ijbq'Fisq|( Ne `bjtq njt ubegqy gbl sehua|gb| {ej{he gse |j seqjhve |neqe ìbl jf eoj|ijbgh

iqqueq" \nesefjse( Ne {u|q 7;;% jf |ne seq{jbqicihi|y qwugsehy jb |ne qnjuhles jf cj|n |ne jffebles

gbl |ne jffeblel" Ib |niq tgy( |ne mjc jf seajbaihig|ijb de|q ljbe"Qeajbl( qjoe|ioeq gb jffebqe iq ljbe ibglves|eb|hy gbl |ne jffebles iq bj| eveb gtgse |ng|

ne ngq nus| qjoejbe" Fjs e~go{he( I jbae jffeblel g tjogb" G{{gseb|hy qne tgq |ghìbd |j oe gbl

gbj|nes {esqjb ib|essu{|el jus ajbvesqg|ijb" I eblel u{ ajbvesqibd ti|n |ng| {esqjb gbl idbjsel nes"Ngl qne bj| csjudn| i| |j oy g||eb|ijb g| |ng| hg|es lg|e( I tjuhl beves ngve `bjtb |ng| I ngl ljbeceeb qj ibajbqilesg|e" Qjoe|ioeq gb jffebles iq ahueheqq |ng| ne ngq nus| gbj|nes {esqjb" Cy |ne Hjsl

{hgaibd gq ouan seq{jbqicihi|y jb |ne nus| {esqjb gq |ne {esqjb tnj lil |ne nus|ibd( |ne Hjslgllseqqeq |niq {sjcheo"

\nisl( qjoe|ioeq yju tjbles if yju ogy ngve nus| qjoejbe cu| yju gse nj{ibd ne agb muq|

jveshjj` |ne jffebqe if yju lil jffebl nio" Yju gse nj{ibd |ne |tj jf yju agb muq| ojve jb ti|nju|ngvibd |j |gh` gcju| i|" Cy jbe {esqjb j{ebibd u{ |ne |j{ia fjs liqauqqijb( yju agb ce||es gqqeqq |neqi|ug|ijb gbl legh ti|n i| gaajslibdhy"

Agb yju qee |ne tiqljo cenibl Djl njhlibd cj|n |ne jffeblel gbl |ne jffebles 7;;%seq{jbqiche fjs |gìbd |ne ibi|ig|ive: If yju nus| qjoejbe( yju gse fuhhy seq{jbqiche |j ibi|ig|e |neseajbaihig|ijb" Gbl if qjoejbe nus| yju( yju gse fuhhy seq{jbqiche |j ibi|ig|e |ne seajbaihig|ijb" [hgb

jb |gìbd |ne ibi|ig|ive |j {usque seajbaihig|ijb bj og||es tnj lil tng| ib tng|eves ansjbjhjdiaghjsles"

Negs| Aneaù{= Gse yju ibvjhvel ib gby liqngsojbijuq sehg|ijbqni{q: Iq |nese gby segqjb tny yjuqnjuhl bj| |gè |ne ibi|ig|ive |j qee` seajbaihig|ijb ib |neqe sehg|ijbqni{q:


17/32

Seglibd 7=76" I| qgyq yju|gè |neo ghjbd qj |ng| evesy og||es ogy ce eq|gchiqnel cy |ne |eq|iojby jf |tj js |nsee ti|beqqeq"

Yju gse ajbqilesel jbe ti|beqq gbl |ne {esqjb yju csjudn| ghjbd iq g qeajbl" Tnihe yjuogy csibd ghjbd ye| gbj|nes ti|beqq( yju qnjuhl bj| ibvjhve ojse |ngb g |j|gh jf |tj j|nesq" Jbae

gdgib( yju gse |syibd |j ee{ |ne {sjcheo gq qoghh gbl ajb|gibel gq {jqqiche" Ghh yju beel iq ebjudnti|beqqeq |j ajbvia| |ne {esqjb tnj iq sefuqibd |j g{jhjdi}e"

\nese iq bj vijhg|ijb jf Qasi{|use if |ne {ej{he yju csjudn| ti|n yju ghqj qesve gq oelig|jsq

tnihe qesvibd gq ti|beqqeq" Ib fga|( i| iq ghojq| g bg|usgh |nibd fjs g Ansiq|igb |j lj" I| iq g Ansiq|igbseq{jbqicihi|y |j qesve gq g {egaeogès ib ghh aisauoq|gbaeq tnese |nese iq ajbfhia| .Og||net 5=9)"

Ib 7 Ajsib|nigbq 6=7/5 Ansiq|q g{jq|he [guh iq leghibd ti|n |ne og||es jf Ansiq|igbq |gìbd

jbe gbj|nes |j aivih ajus|" Ib niq liqauqqijb |nese iq g {sibai{he |ng| agb ce g{{hiel |j yjus qi|ug|ijb"Ne qgyq(If gby jf yju ngq g liq{u|e ti|n gbj|nes( lgse ne |gè i| cefjse |ne ubdjlhy fjs muldoeb|ibq|egl jf cefjse |ne qgib|q: Lj yju bj| `bjt |ng| |ne qgib|q tihh mulde |ne tjshl: Gbl if yju gse

|j mulde |ne tjshl( gse yju bj| ajo{e|eb| |j mulde |sivigh agqeq: Lj yju bj| bjt |ng| te tihh mulde

gbdehq: Njt ouan ojse |ne |nibdq jf |niq hife' \nesefjse( if yju ngve liq{u|eq gcju| quan og||esq(

g{{jib| gq muldeq eveb oeb jf hi||he gaajub| ib |ne anusan' I qgy |niq |j qngoe yju" Iq i| {jqqiche |ng|

|nese iq bjcjly gojbd yju tiqe ebjudn |j mulde g liq{u|e ce|teeb cehievesq: Cgqel jb [guhqq|g|eoeb|q( yju qnjuhl ce gche |j fibl qjoe djjl csj|nesq ib |ne anusan tnj ajuhl oelig|e yjusajbfhia|' \ne ilegh {ej{he .jf tnian |nese gse bjbe) tjuhl ce {ej{he tnj gse djlhy( nidnhy

seq{ea|el( io{gs|igh( hjvibd( gbl fgisoiblel" I| iq ubglviqgche |j qio{hy |gè ghjbd g fsiebl tnj iqcigqel |jtgsl yju"\nese iq bj ibliag|ijb ib |ne Dsee` |ng| |niq beelq |j ce ojse |ngb g qibduhgs oee|ibd cu|

{sulebae gbl duilgbae fsjo Djl agb hegl yju ib ogìbd |ng| muldoeb| aghh" If |ne {esqjb tnj nus|yju sefuqeq |j g{jhjdi}e jse eveb |j oee|( yju tjuhl dj jb |j |ne be~| q|e{ gq ju|hibel cy |ne HjslMequq"

Negs| Aneaù{= Tng| lj yju beel |j lj ib hidn| jf |niq seglibd: Iq i| |ioe |j csibd g ti|beqq js |tjib|j yjus g||eo{|q g| seajbaihig|ijb:


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Seglibd 3;

Q|e{ \eb= [sga|iae Anusan Liqai{hibe

Og||net 7>=740 3 Ajsib|nigbq 5=5/77

If yju tese quaaeqqfuh g| qjhiai|ibd gb g{jhjdy gq g sequh| jf Q|e{ Eidn| js Q|e{ Bibe(

yju ogy qì{ |niq q|e{ gbl {sjaeel |j Q|e{ Eheveb"

Ti|n |ne cgaìbd jf g ti|beqq js |tj tnj ngve ti|beqqel yjus ibgcihi|y |j seajbaihe ti|n |ne

{esqjb tnj nus| yju( |ne Hjsl Mequq qgil yju gse |j |ehh i| |j |ne anusan" Ne lil bj| oegb |ng| yjugse bjt fsee |j |ehh evesycjly ib |ne anusan gcju| |ne nus|fuh |nibd qjoejbe lil |j yju" Sg|nes( yjugse |ehh i| |j |ne anusan cy q|gs|ibd ti|n |ne q{isi|ugh heglesq" Yjus heglesq agb hegl yju |nsjudn |ne{sjaeqq jf seajbaihig|ijb gbl anusan liqai{hibe" Egan anusan ngq i|q jtb {sjaeluseq fjs ngblhibd

quan iqqueq"Yjus anusan heglesq tihh ogè jbe hgq| g||eo{| g| neh{ibd yju seajbaihe eveb |njudn |ney

ogy ebl u{ qesvibd gq muldeq" Gq |ney hiq|eb |j yjus ajo{hgib|( |ne |eq|iojby jf yjus jbe js |tjti|beqqeq( gbl |ne {esq{ea|ive jf |ne {esqjb tnj nus| yju( |ney tihh ngve |j ogè g muldoeb| aghhcgqel jb |ne {sibai{heq jf Djlq Tjsl gbl |ne heglibd jf |ne Njhy Q{isi|" Ib |ne ebl( if yjus jffebles

jteq yju gb g{jhjdy gbl sefuqeq |j dsgb| i|( |ne heglesq ouq| duile |ne anusan |nsjudn g {sjaeqq jfliqai{hibibd yjus jffebles"

\ne {us{jqe jf anusan liqai{hibe iq bj| |j liqagsl sehg|ijbqni{q cu| |j oj|ivg|e g tgytgsl

{esqjb .ib |niq agqe |ne jffebles) |j se{eb| .7 \ioj|ny 7=3;0 3 \neqqghjbigbq 1=7)" \niq {sjaeqq ouq| ce agssiel ju| hjvibdhy( ubajo{sjoiqibdhy( gbl{sgyesfuhhy"

Ib 7 Ajsib|nigbq 5( g ogb tgq liqai{hibel cy |ne anusan" Gq g sequh|( |ne ogb se{eb|el" Evebgf|es se{eb|ibd( |ne {ej{he jf |ne anusan ajb|ibuel |j jq|sgai}e nio" Gq g sequh|( |ne se{eb|gb| qibbestgq fihhel ti|n qjssjt jves |ne semea|ijb cy {ej{he ne hjvel gbl |ng| jbae hjvel nio" \ne G{jq|he

[guh |jhl |ne {ej{he |ng| |ney tese ga|ibd io{sj{eshy |jtgsl |ne se{eb|gb| {esqjb" Ne ibq|sua|el|neo |j fjsdive( ajofjs|( gbl gaae{| nio cga` ib|j |ne fehhjtqni{" Yju qee( |ne {us{jqe jf anusanliqai{hibe iq bj| |j liqagsl sehg|ijbqni{q cu| |j oj|ivg|e g tgytgsl {esqjb |j se{eb|"

Tneb anusaneq gse qesijuq gcju| fjhhjtibd |neqe |eganibdq jf Ansiq|( ojq| ajbfhia|q gseseqjhvel ib |neis egshy q|gdeq" \niq heglq |j nidnes hevehq jf sehg|ijbgh ngsojby ib |ne anusan" If{ej{he gse ghhjtel |j dj ubseajbaihel ti|nib |ne anusan gbl ubliqai{hibel cy |ne anusan( ajbfhia|

tihh ce ghhjtel |j cseel gbl dsjt ubseq|sgibel ti|nib |ne anusan"

Negs| Aneaù{= Tng| lj yju beel |j lj ib hidn| jf |niq seglibd jf Djlq Tjsl gbl tihh: Iq i| |ioe

|j |ehh i| |j |ne anusan:


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Seglibd 37

Q|e{ Eheveb= E~|ebl Fjsdivebeqq

Ajhjqqigbq 1=73/7)"

Ajbquh| / Le{eblibd jb |ne qevesi|y jf |ne jffebqe( i| iq jf|eb neh{fuh |j fibl g djlhy {esqjbjs |tj tnj tihh {sgy ti|n yju( qu{{js| yju( gbl glviqe yju ghjbd |ne tgy .[qgho 7=70[sjvescq 75=33)"

Qjoe|ioeq( gf|es te fjsdive qjoejbe( te agb muq| {ia` u{ sidn| tnese |ne sehg|ijbqni{ hef|jff" Bj fus|nes tjs` beelq |j ce ljbe" Gbl qjoe|ioeq g sehg|ijbqni{ tihh beves se|usb |j tnese i|

tgq cefjse |ne jffebqe" Cu| qjoe|ioeq i| tihh ceajoe g ce||es sehg|ijbqni{ |ngb eves" \ne bg|use jf|ne nus| gbl |ne bg|use jf |ne sehg|ijbqni{ cefjse |ne nus| gse cid fga|jsq0 njteves( |ne ciddes fga|jsqgse njt ouan effjs| |ne jffebles gbl |ne jffeblel {esqjb tihh {u| ib|j secuihlibd |ne |suq| gbl

sehg|ijbqni{"


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Seglibd 3 ajoogblq yju |j hive g| {egae ti|n evesyjbe gq fgs gq i| le{eblq jb yju" Djl sewuiseq yju

|j lj evesy|nibd |ng| iq ti|nib yjus {jtes |j {seveb| liqngsojby fsjo ng{{ebibd gbl |j seq|jse i|tneb i| ljeq" Yju gse |j lj yjus {gs| tne|nes js bj| gbyjbe ehqe ljeq |neisq" Ti|n Djlq neh{( |ne

fjhhjtibd ga|ijbq gse ti|nib yjus {jtes |j lj= I| iq ti|n ib yjus {jtes " " "

|j ee{ |ne og||es gq qoghh( {sivg|e( gbl ajb|gibel gq {jqqiche"

|j {seveb| |ne eqaghg|ijb jf |ebqijbq cy bj| se{gyibd g nus| ti|n g nus|" |j fjsdive gb jffebqe ti|nju| eveb negsibd gb g{jhjdy" |j |gè |ne ibi|ig|ive |j {usque seajbaihig|ijb tne|nes yju gse |ne jffebles js |ne jffeblel"

|j ileb|ify ghh |ne nus|q yju ngve aguqel gbl |j g{jhjdi}e fjs |neo" |j ceajoe g dsgae/divibd gbl debesjuq fjsdives jf {ej{he" |j sewueq| gb g{jhjdy fsjo qjoejbe tnj nus| yju"

|j |gè jbe js |tj j|nesq ti|n yju tnj agb qesve gq ti|beqqeq gbl oelig|jsq" |j |gè gb ubseqjhvel og||es |j |ne anusan heglesq fjs oelig|ijb gbl liqai{hibe" |j e~|ebl fjsdivebeqq u{jb g {esqjbq g{jhjdy"

|j lj |ne iblq jf |nibdq |ng| tihh secuihl |ne |suq| gbl |ne sehg|ijbqni{" |j hjve( cheqq( gbl {sgy fjs {ej{he tnj tgb| bj|nibd ojse |j lj ti|n yju"

Eveb if g tihhibd {gs|y {esfea|hy e~eau|eq ghh |ng| iq ib niq {jtes |j lj( |nese iq bj {sjoiqeib Qasi{|use |ng| g seajbaihig|ijb tihh |gè {hgae" Jb |ne fhi{ qile( i| iq ghojq| aes|gib |ng| gseajbaihig|ijb tihh bj| |gè {hgae if g| hegq| jbe tihhibd {gs|y ljeq bj| |gè |ne beaeqqgsy cichiagh

q|e{q" Fjhhjtibd |ne cichiagh {seqasi{|ijb ibasegqeq |ne {jqqicihi|y jf g seajbaihig|ijb0 i| agbbj|dugsgb|ee i|"

Bg|ngb gbl niq tife( Ligbe( tese bj| de||ibd ghjbd" Ligbe ngl gbbjubael |ng| qne tgq

ajbqilesibd g livjsae" Bg|ngb agoe |j qee oe fjs ajubqeh" I glviqel nio ghjbd |ne hibeq jf |neog|esigh ib |niq ajusqe" I e~{hgibel |j nio |ng| |nese gse bj dugsgb|eeq |ng| ne tihh {esqugle niq tife

|j q|gy ib |ne ogssigde eveb if ne ljeq evesy|nibd sidn|" Gf|es ghh( i| |gèq |tj ajj{esg|ive {ej{he fjsg seajbaihig|ijb |j |gè {hgae" I qnjtel nio fsjo Qasi{|use |ng| ghh ne ajuhl lj tgq niq {gs|0 ne nglbj ajb|sjh jves Ligbeq tihh gbl cengvijsq" I usdel nio |j fjauq jb ljibd |ne sidn| |nibdq muq|

ceaguqe |ney gse |ne sidn| |nibdq |j lj( bj| muq| |j tib cga` niq tifeq negs|" I |jhl nio |j fjauq ojsejb {hegqibd Djl |ngb {hegqibd niq tife"

\tj tee`q hg|es Bg|ngb agoe cga` |j qee oe" I gqèl nio njt |nibdq tese djibd" Ne qgil(

I ngve |siel |j lj evesy|nibd yju |jhl oe |j lj cu| Ligbe iq ubojvel" Qne tgb|q ju| jf |neogssigde" Yjus glviqe iq bj| tjsìbd"

Io qjssy |j negs |ng|( I qgil |j Bg|ngb" Tng| lj yju oegb |ng| oy glviae iq bj| tjsìbd:

Yju ngve jbhy ceeb g{{hyibd i| fjs |tj tee`q" Yjus qi|ug|ijb iq ajo{hiag|el ebjudn |ng| i| ogy |gèg aju{he jf yegsq cefjse yju qee |ne ìbl jf sequh|q yju gse hjjìbd fjs"

I ljb| qee gby qidbq jf angbde" I ljuc| yjus glviqe iq djibd |j tjs`" I ljb| qee gby {jib|

ib ajb|ibuibd |j |sy"


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I seq{jblel qjoe|nibd hiè |niq= Fisq|( yju ngve bj| diveb i| ebjudn |ioe |j tjs`" Qeajbl(yjus oj|iveq gse tsjbd" Yju gse fjhhjtibd oy glviae ib jsles |j {hegqe yjus tife gbl tib cga` nesnegs|" I glviqel yju |j ngve g nidnes oj|ive |ngb |ng|" Yju qnjuhl ce fjhhjtibd oy glviae ceaguqe

ghh I tgq ljibd iq |eganibd yju |ne ibq|sua|ijbq jf |ne Hjsl Mequq" Yjus oj|ivg|ijb fjs ljibd tng|I glviqel qnjuhl ce |j {hegqe |ne Hjsl( bj| yjus tife"

Cu| tihh i| tjs`: Tihh i| tib nes negs| cga`:

I ljb| bjt" Gq I qgil( |nese gse bj dugsgb|eeq" Yju ngve bj ajb|sjh jves Ligbeq |njudn|q(eoj|ijbq( js tihh" Yju jbhy ngve ajb|sjh jves yjusqehf" Yju qnjuhl ce ljibd yjus {gs| tne|nes yjus

tife ljeq gby|nibd js bj|" Yju qnjuhl lj yjus {gs| muq| ceaguqe i| iq Djlq tihh" Yju qnjuhl celjibd ghh |ng| iq ti|nib yjus {jtes |j lj muq| ceaguqe i| iq |ne sidn| |nibd |j lj"

\ng|q ngsl" I| iq ngsl |j lj tng| yju ngve glviqel if i| iqb| djibd |j seq|jse oy ogssigde"I| iq djibd |j ce g hj| jf tjs`" Nj{efuhhy( i| tihh ce tjs|ntnihe tjs` gbl yju tihh tib yjus

tife cga`0 cu| |nese gse bj dugsgb|eeq" If yju lj bj|nibd( njteves( I agb ghojq| dugsgb|ee yju |ng|yju tihh bj| tib nes cga`"

Ive bj|iael |ng| {ej{he ngve g seghhy ngsl |ioe ublesq|gblibd tng| jus oj|ive qnjuhl ce"\nese iq g nidnes oj|ivg|ijb g| q|gè |ngb oesehy tibbibd qjoejbe cga`" \ne nidnes oj|ivg|ijb iq|j qnjt hjve gbl seq{ea| |j Ansiq| cy jceyibd Niq |eganibdq" Tibbibd g {esqjb cga` iq g qeajblgsy

oj|ivg|ijb"Tnihe {sjfeqqibd |j ce g fjhhjtes jf Mequq Ansiq|( ogby {ej{he lj bj| ga| hiè jbe" I ngve ngl

g liffiauh| |ioe de||ibd {ej{he |j qee |ng| te fjhhjt |ne Hjslq |eganibdq muq| ceaguqe i| iq |ne sidn|

|nibd |j lj"

Negs| Aneaù{= Tng| ljeq Ansiq| tgb| yju |j lj ib hidn| jf ghh jf |neqe seglibdq: Gse yju djibd|j lj yjus {gs|:


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Gf|es Tjsl

\ne tihh jf Djl iq ahegs" Ne tgb|q |j qee Ansiq|igbq tnj gse hjvibdhy gbl ngsojbijuqhy

sehg|ibd |j egan j|nes" Ne tgb|q uq |j {u| dseg| agse gbl effjs| ib|j {seveb|ibd liqngsojby gblseq|jsibd ngsojby tneb liqngsojby ng{{ebq" \ngb`fuhhy( Ne ljeq bj| hegve uq ti|nju| |neseqjusaeq |j lj Niq tihh" Ne ngq diveb uq duilgbae ib Niq Tjsl" Ne tihh {sjvile uq ti|n duilgbae

gbl |ne heglibd jf |ne Njhy Q{isi| |j neh{ uq ti|n |ne q{eaifiaq" Ne ngq {sjvilel uq ti|n |ne {sivihedejf ajoibd cefjse Niq |nsjbe gbl fiblibd dsgae ib jus |ioeq jf beel" Ne ngq ghqj {sjvilel uq ti|n

|ne cjly jf Ansiq| |j qu{{js| uq ib jus leqise |j hive djlhy hiveq" Gbl( |ngb` Djl( |ne Njhy Q{isi| iqajbq|gb|hy g| tjs` ti|nib uq |j og`e uq hi`e Mequq Ansiq| ib jus gcihi|y |j hjve gbl fjsdive" Ogy |neHjsl dsgb| uq |ne dsgae gbl q|sebd|n |j hive ju| Niq {sibai{heq ib jus sehg|ijbqni{q"

Ogy |ne Hjsl ce {hegqel gbl dhjsifiel ti|n |ne tgy te legh ti|n jus liffesebaeq gbl nus|q"

Ogy Ne ebgche Niq anusan |j mjyfuhhy gbl ngsojbijuqhy tjsqni{ gbl tjs` |jde|nes" Ogy Niq {ej{hegog}e |ne tg|anibd tjshl ti|n |ne tgy |ng| te ngblhe jus liffesebaeq gbl nus|q" Ogy jus ubagbby

hjve fjs jbe gbj|nes ce uqel jf Djl |j g||sga| ogby |j Ansiq|"

twelve steps to restoring harmony in wounded relationships

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