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VERBAL AND NONVERBAL MESSAGES

Rebekah Andrus and Kilie Keddington

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VERBAL MESSAGES Your performance was

below par last quarter. I really expected more out of you.

I’d like that report as soon as you can get it to me.

You are going to have to try harder, but I know you can do it!

I need that report within a week.

What the manager said. What the manager meant.

P. 92-93

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CLARITY AND AMBIGUITY Equivocal Terms- Those with two different,

but equally acceptable or common meanings also known as misunderstandings.

Example: You agree to meet a Co-worker at dinner. She is across theGlobe and she thinks dinner is around 2 where as here we think dinner is Around 6 or 7. Miscommunication Leads to frustration on both sides.

P. 93-94

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CLARITY Specific, and

concrete statements that refer directly to objects or events that can be observed.

Statement The job will take a

little longer

Cover a broader range of possible objects or events without describing them in much detail.

Clarification How much longer:

hours? Days? Weeks?

Low-level abstractions High-level abstractions

P. 94-95

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SLANG Slang is alright to use with friends and

family, but when you are trying to impress your boss or clients try to stay away from slang language.

Examples Dude Bro Sup Sick Dope (sweet)

P. 95

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JARGON Time savor A certain amount of jargon has its value for

outsiders as well. Speakers who sprinkle their comments with jargon will appear more credible to some listeners.

Brief snappy or roll off the tongue.

Examples:LOL- Laugh out LoudBFF-Best friends foreverTTYL- Talk to you later

P. 95-96

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AMBIGUOUS LANGUAGE

This work isn’t good enough.

I don’t want to work with you.

I think the boss will want us to back up these predictions with some figures

Right now I don’t see any projects of the horizon.

Brute Honest Strategic Ambiguity

P. 96-97

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CHOOSE THE OPTIMAL DEGREE OF POWERFUL

LANGUAGE. Some types of language make a speaker

sound less powerful, while other types create an air of power and confidence.

Speakers who use more powerful speech are rated as more competent, dynamic, and attractive than speakers who sound powerless.

P. 97-98

MORE

POWERFUL

This report is good!

Less PowerfulThis report is good, Isn’t it?

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BIASED LANGUAGEEMOTIONAL PROBLEMS ARISE WHEN SPEAKERS INTENTIONALLY OR

UNINTENTIONALLY USE BIASED LANGUAGE.

It’s a gamble.

She’s so wishy-washy

So you don’t think the idea is a reasonable risk. Is that it?

You think Susan isn’t willing to make a decision?

Biased Language Listeners restatement

P. 98-99

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TRIGGER WORDS Be aware of your sensitivity towards others. If

they have a different view on things you can offend them by saying some trigger words.

P.99

Fine- means a woman knows she’s right and wants you

to shush.

Go Ahead- It’s like a dare. They are

daring you to go ahead and do whatever

you are thinking of

doing!

Nothing- Means

something is wrong

Wow- not a compliment.

She is amazed that you

actually thought it was okay to

say or do a certain thing.

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GENDER DIFFERENCES

Report Talk Emotions Appoligize Supportive

EXAMPLES Did you hear about? Oh really? Is that right?

Less emotions Independence Get things done Advice to solution Short and to the

point Examples I’ll make reports for

Sara Fax these reports to

accounting.

Feminine Masculine

P. 99-103

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NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Messages expressed by other than linguistic means. Appearance Movements Blushing Avoiding eye contact Shaking your head Yawn Laugh Facial expressions Distance

P. 103-105

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Hitch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oqps_-QfnOQ

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TYPES OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Voice Appearance The Face and Eyes Posture and Movement Personal Space and Distance Physical Environment Time

p. 105

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VOICESocial scientists use the term paralanguage to describe a wide range of vocal characteristics, each of which helps express an attitude:

Pitch (high-low) Resonance (resonant-thin) Range (spread-narrow) Tempo (rapid-slow) Articulation (precise-imprecise) Dysfluencies (um, er, etc.) Rhythm (smooth-jerky) Pauses (frequency and duration)* Volume (loud-soft)

p. 105

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APPEARANCE PAYS People who look attractive

are considered to be likeable and persuasive, and they generally have successful careers.

Beginning salaries increase about $2,000 for every point increase on a 5-point attractiveness scale.

More attractive men (but not more attractive women) are given higher starting salaries than less handsome counterparts.

Attractive FactorsPotential employers, customers, and co-workers are usually impressed by people who are:

Trim Muscular In good shape Well dressed and groomed

p. 106-107

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HOW SHOULD I DRESS? Whether to dress up or down depends on

several factors, including the industry or field of work.

California’s outdoor gear

clothing manufacturer Patagonia, Inc.Shoes are not

required

Most Liberal

Financial Services and

Public Administration

Most Conservative

High-tech, Utilities, and

Natural Resources Companies

Most informal

p. 107

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TIPS FOR CHOOSING A SMART WARDROBE Look around. Look at key people in the

industry and country where you work. Be flexible. Within your company’s dress

code, choose an outfit that fits your daily activities.

Don’t confuse “casual” with “sloppy.” A T-shirt and grubby denims send a different message than well-fitting khakis and a sharp shirt or sweater.

Never risk offending. Your definition of appropriate attire may not match those of people whose approval you need.

Dress for the job you want. It makes it easier for people to visualize you in the position you want.

p. 107

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p. 108THE FACE AND EYES

A subordinate’s confused expression indicates the need to

continue with an explanation

A customer’s smile and nodding signal the time

to close a sale

A colleague’s frown indicates your request

has come at a bad time

A person’s

face indicate

s emotions clearly.

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EYES One can control an interaction by

knowing when and where to look to produce desired results.

Since visual contact is an invitation to speak, a speaker who does not want to be interrupted can avoid looking at people until it is time to field questions or get reactions

Eye contact: In most conversations people

make eye contact 50-60 percent of the time.

Can indicate how involved a person is in a situation.

Can be deceptive. People can lie while looking you in the eye.

Can mislead intentionally or unintentionally.

Its meaning varies by culture.

p. 108-109

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU3cAGHnPJU

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POSTURE AND MOVEMENT Reflects attitude Body relaxation/tension

indicates who has the power in one-to-one relationships

Height—tallness usually equates with dominance

Exaggerated gestures can be misleading

p. 109-110

Height—tallness usually equates with dominance.

Posture reflects attitude

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COMMON GESTURES AND THEIR POSSIBLE PERCEIVED MEANINGS

Gesture In Moderate Form When exaggerated

Forward lean Friendly feelings Hostile feelingsDirect eye contact Friendly feelings Hostile feelingsUnique dress and hairstyle Creativity Rebelliousness

Upright posture Expertise; self-confidence Uprightness; hostility

Variability in voice pitch, rate and loudness

Lively mind Nervousness; anxiety; insecurity

Smiling Friendliness; relaxed and secure composure

Masking hostility; submissiveness

Averting gaze Shyness; modesty Guilt; unreliabilityKnitted brow Involvement HostilityNodding and reaching out the hands while talking

Self-confidence Uncertainty

p. 110

PERSONAL SPACE AND DISTANCE

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Get in the Zone—Distance zone

p. 110-112

Intimate: physical contact to 18

inches

Casual-personal: 18 inches to 4

feet

Social-consultative:4 to 12 feet

Public:12 feet and

beyond

PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT AFFECTS COMMUNICATION

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Space allocation—where is your office?

Proximity affects who will talk to whom.

Furniture arrangement and seating choices can influence others’ comfort and can increase or decrease your approachableness.

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

How to create a setting which encourages informal contact: Make it centrally located so

that people must pass through it on their way to other places.

It should contain places to sit or rest to be comfortable.

It should be large enough that those gathered there won’t interfere with others passing through or working nearby.

p. 111

Proximity and visibility encourage contact; distance and closure discourage it.

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CUBICLE ETIQUETTE Privacy—treat others’

cubicles as if they were private offices.

Noise—don’t add to the noise of the cube farm.

Odors—your favorite scent may be someone else’s allergen.

Children—usually best kept away from work except on special occasions.

Illness—if you wouldn’t want someone in your state of health coming to work, try to stay away yourself.

p.113

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ITS ABOUT TIME . . . Be particularly

scrupulous about your use of time during the first few months you are on the job.

Recognize monochronic cultures.

Recognize polychronic cultures.

p. 112-115

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IMPROVING NONVERBAL EFFECTIVENESS Monitor your nonverbal behavior

Frequently ask yourself “how am I doing?”

Demonstrate interest in others Be positive Observe conventions

Honor culture Dress appropriately, according to

expectations

p. 116-117

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DEMONSTRATE INTEREST IN OTHERS Immediacy: verbal and nonverbal behaviors

that indicate closeness and liking. High immediacy leads to greater career

success. Immediacy cues are especially important

when making a first impression. Take the Nonverbal Immediacy Assessment

p. 116

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BEE POSITIVE “We catch feelings

from one another as though they were some kind of social virus.”

You can “infect” someone with your mood in as little as 2 minutes.

p. 117

Avoid becoming contaminated with

the negative attitudes of people

around you.

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SEXUAL HARASSMENTp. 117

There are two types of sexual harassment: Quid pro quo (Latin term meaning “this for that”

Example: A direct or indirect threat not to promote someone who won’t date you. Implying that employment depends on the giving of sexual favors.

Hostile work environmentThis includes any verbal or nonverbal behavior that has the intention or effect of interfering with someone’s work or creating an environment that is intimidating, offensive, or hostile. Unwelcome remarks (“babe,” “hunk”), humor, stares (“elevator eyes”), hand or body signs, and invasions of physical space all can create a hostile work environment.

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AVOIDING SEXUAL HARASSMENT PROBLEMS Be especially sensitive in situations where

others might take offence at your words or behaviors.

Read your company’s sexual harassment policy and be very familiar with training and information from your HR professionals.

When in doubt, don’t do it!

p. 118

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RESPONDING TO SEXUAL HARASSMENTTargets of sexual harassment are entitled to legal protection. But sometimes fighting sexual harassment through legal channels can be more burdensome than it is worth. Taking care of harassment at the lowest, most informal level may bring results that solve the problem with out creating further discomfort to the target.Response options: Consider dismissing the incident. Tell the harasser to stop Keep notes Write a personal letter to the harasser Ask a trusted third party to intervene Use company channels File legal complaint

p. 118-119

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The Little Mermaid - "Body Language" in Foreign Languages - YouTube