MorePraiseforYourLeadershipStory

“Thecounselofancientwisdomistoknowthyself.Tobeeffectiveasaleader,younotonlyhavetoknowthyself,youhavetosharethyself.Theabilitytoknowandtellyourleadershipstoryiscriticaltoengagingotherstogetbiggerthingsdone.TimTobinhaswrittenahandbookthatwillhelpyoulearnhowtodothat.”—ScottEblin,authorofTheNextLevelandOverworkedandOverwhelmed

“TimTobintalksabouttheimportanceofself-awarenessanditscrucialplaceinouraction-orientedworld.Theabilitytobeself-awareasonemovesupwardintheorganizationalhierarchyiscriticalandoftenlacking.Readthisbookandapplytheexercisesandquestionstoyourself.Guaranteedtoraiseyourself-awarenessquotientandprovideyouwithawayofmoreeffectivelydevelopingyourteam.”—BeverlyKaye,founder,CareerSystemsInternational,andcoauthorofHelpThemGroworWatchThemGoandLove‘EmorLose‘Em

“YourLeadershipStoryisawonderfulbookthathelpsyoureflect,understand,anddevelopyourownleadershipcapabilitiesinapersonalway.Everyonewholeadsteams,projects,oranorganizationshouldreadthisbook.”—JoshBersin,Principalandfounder,BersinbyDeloitte

“Knowingmylife’sstoryandconstantlyupdatingitgivesmetheinformationIneedtoknowwhoIamandenablesmetoconnectwiththoseIlead.TimTobin’sbooktellsmehowtodoit.”—RobertM.Tobias,Professor,KeyExecutiveLeadershipProgram,AmericanUniversity

“Muchisbeingwrittenonhowtobecomeabetter,moreauthenticleader.Thereisliterallyanoceanofrecommendations—manyofwhicharedifficulttounderstandanduse.InYourLeadershipStory,TimTobincutsthroughtheleadershipnoiseandidentifiesanunderstandableandeffectivewaytobecomeabetterleader—bytrulyunderstandingandeffectivelycommunicatingyourownleadershipstory.”—WalterMcFarland,coauthorofChoosingChange

“Greatleadershipandskillfulstorytellingarenearlysynonymous.YourLeadershipStoryisprovocative,filledwithfreshinsights,andimmensely

practical.TimTobinbringswonderfulclaritytotheleadership/storytellingconnections.”—JimLoehr,bestsellingauthorandcofounder,HumanPerformanceInstitute

“Yourleadershipjourneyisapowerfultoolformotivatingyourselfandothers.TimTobinshowsyouhowtoturnthatjourneyintoacompellingstory.Don’tmissthisone!”—SteveArneson,PhD,authorofBootstrapLeadershipandWhatYourBossReallyWantsfromYou

“TimTobin’sfocusonperceptionsofleaders—theirownandthosetheyseektoinfluence—speakseloquentlytothepoint.Thisbookprovidesleaderswithsageadviceandskillsincrafting,aligning,andcommunicatingthemessagetheyspeakwiththemessagetheymodel.Powerfulintheirsimplicity,leadershipstories,whentakentoheartandmind,canhelpyouaccelerateyourleadershipeffectiveness.”—VictoriaJ.Marsick,Professor,DepartmentofOrganization&Leadership,andCodirector,J.M.HuberInstituteforLearninginOrganizations,TeachersCollege,ColumbiaUniversity

YourLeadershipStory

YourLeadershipStory

USEYOURSTORYTOENERGIZE,INSPIRE,ANDMOTIVATE

TimothyJ.Tobin

YourLeadershipStoryCopyright©2015byTimothyJ.Tobin

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,distributed,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,includingphotocopying,recording,orotherelectronicormechanicalmethods,withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher,exceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodiedincriticalreviewsandcertainothernoncommercialusespermittedbycopyrightlaw.Forpermissionrequests,writetothepublisher,addressed“Attention:PermissionsCoordinator,”attheaddressbelow.

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FirstEditionHardcoverprinteditionISBN978-1-62656294-3PDFe-bookISBN978-1-62656-295-0IDPFe-bookISBN978-1-62656-296-7

IDPFe-bookISBN978-1-62656-296-7

2015-1

INTERIORDESIGN:ValerieBrewster.EDITOR:ElissaRabellino.

COVERDESIGN:BarbaraHaines.PROOFREADER:HenriettaBensussen.

INDEX:PaulaC.Durbin-Westby.PRODUCTIONSERVICE:LindaJupiterProductions.

ForChase,Finley,andSara—Youaremygreatestsourceofinspirationandyouprovidethegreatestmeaningtomystoryeachday.

CONTENTS

ForewordbyJayA.Conger

Preface

Introduction

CHAPTERIJustWhatIsLeadership?

AWordaboutPerceptions

WhatIsYourLeadershipStory?

TypesofLeadership

TowardaBalancedLeadershipStory

TwoBigQuestions

TheDrivingCatalyst

IntroducingBob

CHAPTERIIUnderstandingandAligningYourLeadershipStory

WhatMakesaGoodStory?

STEP1:DefineYourPlot

STEP2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters

STEP3:PrepareforConflict

STEP4:DevelopYourTheme

STEP5:FindYourOptimalSetting

CHAPTERIII

TheNarrativeArc

MappingYourArcandDiscoveringYourLeadershipTruths

CHAPTERIVTheArtofCommunicatingYourLeadershipStory

WhatConstitutesGoodStorytelling?

STEP6:KnowYourMessage

STEP7:KnowYourAudience

STEP8:MaximizeMomentsofTruth

STEP9:ActionsSpeakLouderThanWords

STEP10:EnlistOtherstoTellYourLeadershipStory

Conclusion

Resources

ActivitiestoDoYourself

ActivitiestoGivetoOthers

ReflectiveQuestions

Tips

Notes

Acknowledgments

Index

AbouttheAuthor

FOREWORD

Leadershipstartswithyou.Tobetrulyeffective,youneedtoknowwhoyouareandwhoyouwishtobeasaleader.Youhavetohaveaclearsenseofwhatmovesyoutolead.Youneedastronginnercompasstoensurethatyouareconsistentlymakingtherightchoices.Withoutthisinnerclarity,you’llbepulledindirectionsthatareunlikelytoharnessyourpotentialorthepotentialofthosewhofollowyou.Metaphorically,it’slikenavigatinganewcitywithoutthemapapponyourphone.You’llexperienceonemisstepafteranother.Youwillnotarriveattheaspirationalendpointeachofuswishestoachieveoverourlifetime.

Sothejourneytoleadingbeginswithyou—discoveringandmakingthemostofpersonalpassions,preemptingcostlymistakesthroughcorevaluesandrememberinglessonslearnedinyourpast.Youhavetoknowyourownleadershipstory.ThissingularinsightiswhyTimTobin’sbookmustbeatthetopofyourreadinglist.Itisaparadox,butifyouwishtolead,youhavetotakeastepback.Youneedtoreflectonwhatmeansthemosttoyouandtothoseyoulead.

Inmyownworkwithexecutivesandmanagers,Iamsurprisedathowmanyhavegivenfartoolittlethoughttowhotheyareorwhotheywishtobeasleaders.Itisshocking.IsaythisbecauseIknowthepricetheyarepayingforthislackofinsight.Insteadofleading,theyendupspendingtheirdaysmanagingatbest.Theyarepulledbywhateverdemandstheirimmediateattention.Theywillalsomakepoorchoicesbecausetheylackaninnersenseofwhat’stherightthingtodo.They’llmakecompromiseswhentheyshouldn’t.They’llrepeattheirmistakes.Theywillalltoorarelyarticulatetheiraspirationssincethesearedrownedoutbya“tickingtheboxes”mentality.Asaresult,theseindividualslackvisionandconsequentlylackthecapacitytoinspire.Theultimatepricetheypayforthislackofinsightintothemselves?Theyneverrealizetheirpersonalpotential.Quiteanumberplateauintheircareers,or,worseyet,theyderail.

WhatTimTobinhasdonesobeautifullyistoprovideastructuredmeansforyoutoexploretheessentialdimensionsofyourpersonalleadershipstory.Iwill

youtoexploretheessentialdimensionsofyourpersonalleadershipstory.IwillsaythathisbookisthemostthoroughguidetocraftingsuchstoriesthatIhaveread.Hetakesyoustep-by-step.Bydeployingwide-rangingandprovocativequestions,hewillhaveyoureflectingdeeplyonwhathasshapedyouasaleaderandwhereyouwishtogoasaleader.IliketothinkofhisbookastheequivalentoftheMayoClinic’sExecutivePhysicalforleadershipstories—everydimensionofyouasaleaderwillbeexplored!

Butwhyarethesepersonalstoriessoessentialtoleadership?Thereisafunnythingthathappenswhenyouhavetocreateastoryforyourself.Itforcesyoutopowerfullyclarifywhatismostmeaningfulandinspirationaltoyou.You’llalsocometorealizethatyoureallydopossessaninnersetofvalues.Thesearetouchstonesforyourmentalwell-being.Ifyoustrayfromthemforlong,somethingdeepinsidewilldisturbyouoverandoveragain.Withclarity,youwillbelessseducedbytheimmediatedistractionsthattakeyouawayfromyourgiftsandtheaccomplishmentsyouwishtoachieve.Youwillbelessseducedbychoicesthathaveashort-termpayoff(inreality,afalsesenseofaccomplishment)buthavealonger-termandexpensivecost.Asyougopublicwithyourstoryandshareitwidely,you’llexperienceagreatersenseofpersonalaccountabilitytoliveuptoit.Inotherwords,youwillfindyourselfnotonlytellingyourstorybutalsolivingitfarmoreconsistently!Youwilldiscoverhowitgivesyousomuchmoreclaritywhenyouareconfrontedwithdailycrossroadchoices.

There’sanotherbigadvantagetohavingarichleadershipstory.Itwillhelpyourassociatestoremembertherightchoicestheyneedtomakeeveryday.Theywillberemindedofwhatismostmeaningfulabouttheworkyoudoasateamandthevaluesandparametersthatshouldguideeveryimportantdecision.Whyisthat?PioneeringworkinneuroscienceandmemoryisrevealingthatstoriesengageusfarmoreprofoundlythanPowerPointpresentationsorabstractdiscussionsorvalueandmissionstatements.Theyareincrediblysticky.Weeasilyretaininourmemoriesthemovingpersonalstoriesofothers.Witnessthosetoldthousandsofyearsagobytheworld’sgreatreligiousleaders.Theirstories,richinlessonsandguidelines,remainvividtoday.Wecanrecallthemwithease.

Whatalsomakesthisbookspecialisthatyouwillbelearningfromoneofthemostpassionateindividualsinthefieldofleadership.Timlovesleadership.Hehaslivedit,taughtit,studiedit,andcoachedit.Hehasspentyearslearningthemethodologyofconstructingeffectiveleadershipstories.Thispassioncomesthroughinthepurposeofthisbook:tohelpindividualsseeandexperiencetheirpotentialtotrulylead.

Insum,yourinvestmentinthisbookwillexpandyourconceptionofwhoyou

Insum,yourinvestmentinthisbookwillexpandyourconceptionofwhoyouareandcanbeasaleader.Inthelongrun,itwilltransformyourimpactoveryourcareer.Iwishyouawonderfuljourneyofself-discovery.

JayA.CongerChairmanKravisLeadershipInstituteClaremontMcKennaCollege

PREFACE

Mostofmyprofessionalworkinglifehasbeenfocusedonleadershipdevelopment.Istudieditinschool.Ihavehelpedavarietyoflargeandsmallorganizationsbuildaward-winningleadershipprograms.Ihaveworkedwithleadersacrossindustries.Ihavehadtheopportunitytoworkwithtopleadersandworld-classleadershipspeakers.Ihaveledsmallteamsandbigteams.AndIhaveobservedothersdoingthesame.Ihavealsobeenfortunatetohavesomegreatmentors.AndIhavebeenequallyfortunatetocoachotherleaders.Iamastudentofleadership.Ihavededicatedmylifetoit,andIhavelearnedagreatdealalongtheway.

Ifyoulookclosely,youmightsayIhaveleadershipcomingoutofmyears.(It’sreallynotasuncomfortableasitsounds.)Soasyoulaunchintothisbook,youmightbethinking,thisguymustbealeadershipgenius.Hemustbe(soundofhorns)ThePerfectLeader.

Anddoyouknowwhat?Youwouldbewrong.OK,perfectisprobablynotafairorrealisticgoalforanyonetostriveforwhenitcomestoleadership.Therearejusttoomanymovingpartstoleadershipforanyonetobeabletonailitallthetime.

Sotobefair,let’ssaythetargetistobeaconsistentlygreatleader—thekindofleaderwhoinspiresandmotivatesothers.Someonewholeavesapositive,lastingimpression.Thatseemsmorerealisticandmoreattainable.

Whatevertheendmeasure,truthbetold,Istilldon’tgetleadershiprightallthetime.Heck,I’dsettleforprettydarngoodonsomedays.

Letmepauserightthereforasecond.Whywouldanyonewanttostriveforleadershipgreatness?Ifitistofeedtheego,reconsider:itrarelyendsingreatness.Ifthemotivationismorealtruisticinnature—tohelpothers,guidethem,developthem—youwillfindconsistentlygreaterfruitsofyourleadershiplabor.

IfIcanspendallthistimeimmersedinthetopicofleadershipandnotalwaysgetitright,howarepeoplewhoarefocusedoncountlessresponsibilitiesother

thanleadershipsupposedtogetitright?Thatisanawfullottoexpect.I’veencounteredgreatleadership,andI’veseengreatleadershaveoffdaysaswell.Tome,though,it’sallthepossibilitiesthatmakeleadershipsofun.That’sright—leadershipshouldbefun.Butlet’snotunderestimatethelevelofeffort,planning,anddevelopmentthatourleadersrequireiftheyaretobeattheirbestforthosetheylead.

Successatonepointinone’scareerdoesnotguaranteesuccessatanotherpoint.Ihaveseeninfartoomanyinstancesthathighlycapabletechnicalexpertsarepromotedtoaleadershipposition—withlittleornoleadershiptraining.Andtheyareexpectedtocontinueontheirpathtoexcellence.Unfortunately,whatI’vealsoseenisthatsometimesthatworksoutandsometimesitdoesn’t.I’mnotmuchofabettingman,butIdon’tlikethoseodds.

We’veallheardthe“Leadershipisajourney”metaphor,anditisfairtosaythatIamstillonmyjourneyandyouarestillonyours.Infact,thisbookwasbornoutoftherealizationthatI’vestillgotalottolearn.I’malsoatapointwhereIhavealottoshare.

Iwrotethisbookprimarilyforemergingleaders.Look,Irealizethatnoteveryonehastheopportunitytoattendamultidayleadershipprogramortohaveapersonalleadershipcoach.Bothofthosetaketimeandcancostalotofmoney.Butitdoesn’tmeanyoushouldbelefttoyourowndevicestojustfigureleadershipout.Unfortunately,foranynumberofreasons,thatisfartoooftenthecase.

Emergingleaderslikelyhavethemostquestionsaboutleadershipandthefewestresourcestosupporttheirdevelopment.Youshouldthinkofthisbookasbeinglikeaclassinleadership—notthedry,theoreticalstuff(don’ttellanyofmyprofessorsIsaidthat)butthereal,practicalstuff.Infact,considerthisyourpersonalclassinwhichtobecomemoreawareofyourleadershipcapacityandtoimproveit.

Andforyoucurrentleaderswhothinkyouhaveitallfiguredout,youmightwanttogivethisbookagoodreadbecauseyoumightbesurprisedbywhatyoufind.Ofcourse,anyleaderswhoarelookingtobetterunderstandwhotheyareasaleader,aswellasleadersgoingthroughacareertransition,willbenefitaswell.

Iwantedtodosomethingtohelpenablemorepeopletohavegreatersuccessasleaders—notsimplyforthembutalsoforthosetheylead.Tocreateall-aroundbetterexperiences.Todevelopmorepeople.To—asthebook’ssubtitlesuggests—energize,inspire,andmotivateotherstobetheirbest.Andleadershipisaboutpeople,tobesure,butitisalsoaboutdeliveringbetterresultsforthebusinessintheprocess.

Ifyou’vereadthisfar,Ihopeyouhaveaninterestinbecomingabetterleader.Iwouldlovetocontributetoyourjourneyinsomeway.Sowe’reinthistogethernow.You’llseethatIaskalotofquestionsthroughoutthebook.Iwouldencourageyoutoavoidasuperficialtreatmentofthequestionsandactivities,andinsteadtoreflectuponthemdeeply.Forgetabouttheruleagainstwritinginabook—ifyou’vegotaninsight,don’tletitgetaway.

Aswithmanythings,youcanexpecttogetonlywhatyougive.Ifyouarewillingtochallengeyourselfwithsomeofthequestionsandlookmoredeeplywithinyourself,youwillgainfargreater—possiblyeventransformational—benefits.Itendtoleantowardoptimism.Withagreaterunderstandingofyourleadershipstory,you’llfindthatthebestisyettocome.

TimothyJ.TobinWashington,D.C.

INTRODUCTION

Whatisyourleadershipstory?Moreimportant,whoistheauthorofyourleadershipstory,you…orsomeoneelse?Thisbookexamineswhyitisimportantforyoutobetheauthorofyourownleadershipstoryandhowyoucanbestcommunicateitsvalue.

Letmetellyouaboutoneofmyclients.I’llcallhimBob.Bobwasaself-confident,solidtechnicalexpertinhisfield—itdoesn’tmatterwhichone.Althoughhehadbeenamanagerforawhile,hissuccesses,hefelt,werecatchingupwithhim.Hewasbeingaskedtotakeonmoreduties.Hehadneverfelttheneedtohireacoachbefore,butwhenwetalked,herearesomeoftherevealingconcernsheconfidedinme.

•AmItakingontoomanyresponsibilities,toomuch?HowdoIknowwhentosaywhen?

•CanIhandleanincreasedleadershiprolebeyondmytechnicalrole?•IamnotsurethatIhandleeverymanagerialorprojectleadershiproleasbestasIshould.

•Rightnow,IseemtobetryingtobalancemytechnicalexpertisewiththemanagerialroleandprojectleadershipIambeingaskedtohandle.

•Whatdoesitmeantobealeader—Imean,arealleaderwhocanmaintainthatbalance?

•Howdoyouleadpeoplewhohavebeenpeersandfriendsandlunchbuddies?

•WhatdoIdomyself,andwhatdoIdelegate,andwhendoIknowthedifference?

•HowdoIbalancethenewworkrolesandmypersonallife?•Othershavedoneit.I’mconfidentthatIcan,butIjustneedsomedefinition.NoonewantstobeanexampleofthePeterPrinciple.

I’veknownandworkedwiththousandsofBobs.AndJills.Asyougothroughthestepsofthisbook—yes,it’saboutapracticalprocess—wewillvisitwithBobashefaceseachstep.Asareader,youcangetinsideBob’sheadorimaginethatyouarehe.Hisstoryisquitetypicalofsuccessfulpeoplewhoaretakingonmoreresponsibilityandseekoutsomeonelikeme.

Yourleadershipstoryisthecollectionofevents,perspectives,andbehaviorsthatrepresentwhoyouareasaleader.Itevolvesfromyouruniqueexperiences.Yourleadershipstoryisnotlikethatofthepersoninthenextdepartment.Hersisdifferent;neitherstoryisrightorwrong.Yourleadershipstorycommunicatesthemessageofidentity:whoyouareasaleader,whatyoubelievein,whatdrivesyouanddefinesyouasaleader,andhowyouact.

IfIdon’tknowaboutyouasaperson,thenIdon’tknowaboutyouasaleader.Andwhetherpreparingtobealeaderforthefirsttimeoranestablishedleaderwithmanyyearsofexperience,everyleaderhasastory.

Allleadershipstoriesshouldbedynamic.Theyarecolorfuldepictionsofeventsthatprovideasnapshotintime,yettheyareworksinprogress.Theyenergize,inspire,andmotivate.Storiesillustrateandreinforcekeypointsandprovidemeaningandrelevance.Theyhelpustolearn,impartalesson,andcommunicateamessage.Storieshelpustomakeanemotionalconnection;and,toldwell,storiesarecompellingandmemorable.

Thisbookisaboutmakingyourleadershipstorycompellingandmemorable.Thisisnotabouthowtospitouta15-secondelevatorspeech.

Ihavebeendirectlyresponsibleforthedevelopmentofthousandsofleadersacrossavarietyofindustriesandlevels,andeachleaderhashisorherownleadershipstory.Unfortunately,toooften,leadersdonotspendtimethinkingaboutorplanningtheirstory.Itisgivenlittlethoughtorattention,anditislefttochance.Leaderswhotakeaproactiveroleinunderstandingandcommunicatingtheirstoryhaveincreasedcapacity,strongerconnections,greaterself-awareness,greaterauthenticity,andbetterpreparationtomakeroutineandunanticipateddecisions.

Thisbookteachesyouhowtomakeyourleadershipstorymemorablebyprovidingyouwithguidanceforyoutobecomethewriter,director,andstarofthestory.Betteryet,let’smakeitanepic.

WhomIsThisBookFor,andHowShouldItBeUsed?

Thisisn’tabookwhereyouwillfindvalidationofhowexcellentyouthinkyouare.Rather,it’sabouttakinganhonestlookinthemirroranddiscoveringhowyourstoryisperceivedbyothers.Afterall,wouldn’tyouliketoknowhowothersseeyourleadership?Wouldn’tthatbehelpfultoyourcareerdevelopment?

Mostleadersaremuchmorethanwhattheyappeartobe.Thisbookismeanttohelpyoutobegood,nottolookgood.Youneedtodelvebelowthesurfaceofyourleadershipanduncoverthewhythatunderliesit.Ifyougodeeperwithin—towhatyouvalueasaleader,howyouthinkandhowyouact—andmovebeyondwhatyouthinkotherswanttoheartowhatyoutrulybelieve,thisbookandprocesshasthepotentialtobetransformational.

Itisforallcurrentoraspiringleaderswhowanttotakecontroloftheirownleadershipstory.If,asaleader,youareinterestedsimplyingettingtasksdonemoreefficiently,thenthisbookmaynotbeforyou.It’snotaboutprojectmanagement.

Instead,itintroducesaprocesstofacilitatetheself-reflectionrequiredforyoutounderstandyourleadershipstory.Includedisacollectionofactivitiesandtipstohelpyoubuild,shape,andcommunicateyourstory.

Ifyouareinterestedinmakingadeeper,strongeremotionalconnectionwiththoseyoulead,andyouwanttofindgreaterenergyandinspirationasaleader,thenthisbookisforyou.Itisaboutdevelopingapositiveeffectonthepeopleyoulead.Doyouknowwhetheryourpeopleresentorcraveyourleadership?Wouldn’tyouwantpeopletocraveit?

Youcannotfakeleadership.Itmustbesincereandrealandreflectwhoyouare.Youmustsearchyoursoulforwhatyoutrulybelieveandnotjustmassagewhatyouwantotherstoseeorhear.ChapterIwilloutlinetypesofleadershipandlackthereof.

Youmaychoosetosimplyskimthroughthestepsofthisprocesswithaneyetowardidentifyinghowyoulookorsoundasaleader.Ifso,theresultwilllikelybeasuperficialtreatmentofyourleadershipstory.Inlife,incareer,whendoesdoingsomethinghalfwayfeelgood,andwhendoesitevercreateaddedvalue?InCreatingPersonalPresence,DiannaBooherarguesthatpersonalpresenceiscomposedoffourdimensions:Look,Talk,Think,andAct.ShenotesthatmostpeopleemphasizetheLookandTalkdimensionsandassumethattheyarewhoyouare.ShepointsoutthattheThinkandActdimensionsarethemostimportant,andthemostdifficult,becausetheyexistatadeeperlevel.1ThatisthelevelI’mtalkingabouthere.

Forthistobetransformational,you’regoingtoneedtodosomesoul-

Forthistobetransformational,you’regoingtoneedtodosomesoul-searching.Anditmightbeuncomfortableattimes.Therealvalue:it’stransformationalnotjustforyoubutalsoforthoseyoulead.

ThePartsofThisBook

Thebookismadeupofstepsandchapters.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,thereare10steps—fivetounderstandyourstoryandfivetocommunicateit.Eachstepguidesyouthroughquestions,activities,andtipstogiveyouadeeperunderstandingofyourstoryandhelpyouultimatelytobecomeabetterleader.Althoughallofthestepsaremeanttofittogether,youmayfinditnecessarytospendmoretimeononestepthananother.

Inchapter1,wetrytodefinejustwhatleadershipis.Whatenhancesitandwhatcompromisesit?Whydootherssometimeshaveaviewofyourleadershipthatisverydifferentfromwhatyouseeinthemirror?WealsomeetBob.Hewillbewithusthroughoutthebookashetackleseachstep,rightalongwithyou.

Inchapter2,wefocusondefiningandunderstandingwhatthecurrentandidealversionsofyourleadershipstoryare.Eachstepinthischapterdealswithadifferentstoryelement;itincludesanoverviewoftheelementandwhyitisimportant,fivereflectivequestions,fiveactivitiesdesignedtofurthercreateself-awarenessanddriveaction,andthreequicktips.

Storiestakeplaceovertime,andtheyhaveabeginning,middle,andend.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,thenarrativearcisthatpointinyourcareerwhenitallcomestogether.Inchapter3,youwillhavetheopportunitytoidentifyandreflectuponwhereyouareonyournarrativearc,aswellasthepeopleandeventsthathavehadthegreatestinfluenceonwhoyouareasaleader.

Inchapter4,wefocusonhowyoucanbestcommunicateyourleadershipstory.Thestepstakeyouthroughknowingyourmessageandaudience,lookingforandmaximizingmomentsoftruth,understandingtheroleofactionsandothernonverbalcommunication,andenlistingotherstohelpyoutellyourleadershipstory.Eachstepprovidesanoverviewofthetopicandwhyitisimportant.Ialsoincludereflectivequestionstohelpyouthinkabouthowtocommunicateyourleadershipstory,strategiestohelpyourefinethemessageofyourleadershipstory,andashortanecdotetoillustratethataspectofstorytelling.

Iendthebookwithaconclusionandresources.Theconclusiontiesallofthe

conceptstogetherandprovidesfinalthoughtsforyoutoconsider.Itprovidesanopportunityforyoutolookbackatthewholeprocessofunderstandingandcommunicatingyourstory.Myhopeisthatattheconclusionofthisbook,youarebetterpreparedforchallengesandrewardsofleadership.Further,Ihopethatyouaremoreinspiredandthatyouhaveagreaterabilitytoinspirethoseyoulead.

Theresourcessectionprovidesaquickguidetotheactivitiesyoucandoyourselfandthosetogivetoothers.Italsogathersinonecentralplacethereflectivequestionsdesignedtohelpyouunderstandandcommunicateyourstory,andthetipsfromeachstepintheprocess.

Theperspectiveandactivitiesinthisbookaremeanttoestablishaprocessforreflection,toputinplaceanunderstandingthatwillhelpyouavoidblindspotsandbecometheauthorofyourleadershipstory.Afterreadingthisbookandworkingthroughsomeofthereflectivequestionsandactivities,youwillhaveabetterunderstandingofthecurrentandidealversionsofyourleadershipstory.Youwillalsohavestrategiestocommunicateyourleadershipstory.

So,ifyouareready,let’sgetstarted.

CHAPTERI

JustWhatIsLeadership?

Inthischapter,IwanttohelpyouunderstandwhatIcalltheecologyofleadership.Obviously,someonecannotbemuchofaleaderifnooneistheretobeled.Soit’sadelicateenvironmentofprojects,priorities,andplansaswellasemotions,sensitivities,andambitions.

PresidentEisenhoweroncecommented,“Leadershipistheartofgettingsomeonetodosomethingyouwantdonebecausehewantstodoit.”Ike’sapproachtodelegationcouldbecalledsubtle.Buttohim,delegationwasanimportantskillandabigdeal.ItsurelyservedhimwellinEuropeashedealtwithmanybigegostoleadtheAlliedeffortinWorldWarII.

AWordaboutPerceptions

SpeakingofIke,wetypicallydon’tthinkofhimashavinghadabigego.SupremeAlliedcommander,presidentofColumbiaUniversity,generaloftheArmy,presidentoftheUnitedStates.That’sarésuméthatwouldenableanyone’segotoballoon.ButnotEisenhower.Hewasawesomeandnotawesomeatthesametime.

Likewise,itisimportantforallofustounderstandhowweareperceivedbyothersandwherethatisconsistentwithourself-perceptions.Ifthereismisalignmentbetweenthetwo,itisimportanttounderstandwhythatis.Astheintroductionimplies,thisbook’sprocessandstepsarenotintendedtoreaffirmtoyouthatyouarejustsoawesomerightnow.Inafewparagraphs,youwillmeetBobandwatchhislunchmatestellhimhownotawesomehereallyis.Itisashockerforhim.

WhatIsYourLeadershipStory?

Thetruthis,youareonlyasgoodaleaderaspeoplethinkyouare.That’shardtoacceptifyouwearawesomenessonyoursleeve.Aself-reviewofyourleadershipwouldcontaininherentflaws,andtoooftenleadersattempttorationalizetheirbehavior.AccordingtothebookLeadershipandSelf-Deception,bytheArbingerInstitute,leaderscanblindthemselvestotheirtruemotivationsandcapabilities.2Withoutareviewfromothers,itisunlikelythatourself-perceptionisaccurate—whetherpositiveorcritical.Rarelyisourownperceptionexactlyright.Andthathasimplicationsforourabilitytoleadotherseffectively.

Ourawarenessandacceptanceofourimperfectionsisthepathwaytoexcellence.Tothatend,thisbookestablishesasystemofchecksandbalancestohelpyoutotrulyunderstandwhoyouareasaleader,basednotonlyonyourperceptionsbutalsoontheperceptionsandinterpretationsofothers.Youmaynotlikewhatyouhear.Itmaynotalignwithyourself-image.Butitiscriticaltofullyunderstandingyourstory.Thinkofitthisway:Thevalueaddedisbalance.

Yourleadershipstoryistheintersectionbetweenwhatyoubelieveyourstorytobeandothers’interpretations.Itisreflectedinwhatyousayanddoaswellashowothersperceiveandinterpretwhatyousayanddoasaleader.Andtoaddtothecomplexity,others’interpretationsmaynotbeaccurate.Orworse,theirmotivationsmaynotsupportyourstory.

Thisparadoxofwhoownsyourstoryisaconstantstruggle.Areyoutheprimaryauthor?Ordoesyourstoryliveintheinterpretationsofothers?Theanswerisyestoboth.Ifyoudonottakeprimaryauthorshipofyourstory,itwillbecraftedexclusivelythroughtheperceptionsofothers.Thatwillnotbeaveryaccurateautobiography.Thefollowingfigureillustratestheimportanceofunderstandingandaligningyourleadershipstorywiththeperceptionsofothers.Italsoshowstheproblemsofbeingmisunderstood.

VARIATIONS(ORINTERPRETATIONS)OFYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

Yourleadershipstorycurrentlyexistssomewherewithinthequadrantsabove.Eachisdescribedindetailbelow.Yourstorycanmanifestitselfpositivelyornegativelyineachofthequadrants.Yourobjectiveistounderstandyourleadershipstory,worktogetittowhereyouwantittobe,andmakesurethatothersarealignedwithit.

QUADRANT1Thisisadifficultplaceforleaderstofindthemselvesin.Itsuggeststhatothersknowyoubetterthanyouknowyourself.Onaslightlypositivenote,leadersheredonotbelieveinthemselves,nordotheybelievethattheyhavegreatattributesasaleader,andthismayshowitselfasbeinghumble.Butevenhumilityhasadarkside:overtime,otherswilleventuallynotbelieveinyou,either.

JefflivedinQ1.Everyonethoughthewasgreat,buthewasquicktodeflectpraise.Hewouldalwayssay,“No,no.Ididn’tdothat.Myteamdid.”Nobleindeed.Peopleappreciatedhishumility,buteventuallyheconvincedothersthathereallycouldn’tdoit,andthatfatebecamepartofhisstory.Inasense,hewroteithimself.

Benwasaleaderwhoranintothischallenge.Hewasviewedbymanyas

Benwasaleaderwhoranintothischallenge.Hewasviewedbymanyashumble.Hedidnottakecreditforhisexpertiseandleadershipcapabilities.Whenothersgavehimcredit,hewasquicktodeflectitandsay,“Oh,I’mnotsureIdidthat.”Hewasadmiredbymany,andthen,overtime,othersbegantoquestionhisabilities.Itbegansimplyenough,withafewpeersandleaderssaying,“I’mnotsure,”abouthisabilities.AlthoughhisstoryneverleftQuadrantI,itquicklytransitionedfromhumilitytoaquestionofcapability.Hehadeffectivelytalkedothersintonotbelievinginhim.Anadagecomestomind:Ifyoubelieveyoucan’tdosomething,youareprobablyright.

Anothertypeexistsinthisquadrant.Theyaretheleaderswhoarenarcissistic,self-important,oroverconfident.Leadersherethinktheyareawesome—andtheyaren’tafraidtoletothersknowitthroughtheirwordsoractions.However,awesomeisnothowtheyareperceivedbyothers.Ineithercase,theseleaderseitherarecluelessorsimplydon’tcarehowtheyareshowingupasaleader.Yoursolution,ifyoufindyourselftobeinthisquadrant,istoseekfeedbackandlistentoothers.Youmayfinditbeneficialtodoaskillsauditandtoworkonyourexecutivepresence.

QUADRANT2Usingthestoryasametaphor,thisquadrantisknownasaleader’struestory.Leadersinthisquadranthaveagoodunderstandingoftheirleadershipstory,andothersdoaswell.Leadershereareviewedasauthentic—whatyouseeiswhatyouget.Theyaregenuine.Theyknowtheirstrengthsandareasfordevelopment,andtheytendtobewillingtoenlistthesupportofothers.

Eveniftheseleaders’storieshavenegativeattributes,theyareawareofthisandeithertakecorrectiveactionindividuallyorareconsciousofwhenandhowtosupplementtheirskills.Butleadershereshouldnotgettoocomfortable.Ifyoufindyourselfinthisspace,youshouldcontinuetoreflect,beself-aware,andenlistotherstotelltheirstory.

Randymaynothavehadalltheanswers,buthewaswillingtobringinotherstohelp.Hehadgreatideas,butheknewhewasn’tanexpertineverything.Hisgo-tophrasewas“Whatdoyouthink?”Youfeltlikeyouknewhimonapersonallevelandthathecaredaboutyou.Andhewaspassionateabouttheworkhewasdoing.

QUADRANT3Leadershereare,well,hidden.Theyhaveagoodunderstandingoftheirstory,

Leadershereare,well,hidden.Theyhaveagoodunderstandingoftheirstory,butnooneelsedoes.Becauseothersdon’tknowwhotheseleadersare,theytendtobeoverlooked.

Ifyouknowyourstoryanditisnegative,youmaylackcredibilityandwillhavesomeworktodotobecomeabetterleader.Ifyouknowwhoyouareasaleaderanditispositive,youneedtobecomebetterknownasaleader.Ifyouareinthisquadrant,focusonbuildingyournetwork,getinvolvedthroughouttheorganizationinprojectsandinitiatives,andenlistotherstotellyourleadershipstory.

Jeremywasaleaderwhofitthisdescription.Hewasnewtotheorganization,freshoutofgraduateschool.Hehadalotofbrightideasbutnowayofsharingthem.Itwasn’thisstyletoaggressivelyasserthimself,andhedidn’twanttocomeacrossasbraggingortryingtotakecharge.Buteventuallyhebecamefrustrated.HeandIworkedonwaystobuildhisinternalnetworkandgetinvolvedinprojectstoshowcasewhathewascapableof.

QUADRANT4Theseleadersareinconsistentandunclearatbest;theyareerraticandunreliableatworst.JustasinQuadrantI,suchleaderslackself-awareness.Theylackthoughtandreflectionaboutwhotheyareasleaders,whattheyvalue,andwhattheystandfor.

Manyleadersherehavenottakenthetimetounderstandwhotheyareorwhattheybelieveinasaleader.Tomakethisquadrantmoredirectlypersonaltoyou,nooneelseknowsyouorwhatyoubelievein,either.Peoplemayfollowyoubecauseyouaretheboss,buttheyareskepticalandreluctanttodoso.

Ifyoufindyourselfinthisquadrant,youshouldbeginbyunderstandingyourleadershipstory.Asastartingpoint,focusonwhatyoubelieveinandvalueasaleader.Thegoodnewsisthatalmostanyactionyoutaketowardunderstanding,aligning,orcommunicatingyourleadershipstoryisastepintherightdirection.

Samwasanestablishedleaderwithintheorganization,dueinlargeparttohistechnicalknowledge.Sometimeshewantedtogetintothedetailsandsometimeshedidn’t.Hewouldassigntasksandfollowuponsomebutnotothers.NoneofSam’sdirectreportsknewwhattoexpectfromhim,nordidsomeofhispeers.Howdoyouthinkhisteamfelt?Heneverthoughtabouthowthiswasaffectinghisteam—creatinglowmorale,poorperformance,andasenseofuncertainty.Othersviewedhimasvolatileandinconsistent.

TypesofLeadership

Whattypeofleadershipdoyouwanttomaster?Whatleadershipstyledoyouaspireto?Youneedtothinkaboutwhattypeofleaderyouwanttobe.Andhereisthefunpartaboutleadership:thereisnotonesinglebestwaytolead.

Thechoiceisyours.Choosethekindofleadership,orcombinationthereof,thatbestsuitsyouandthatyouaspireto.Thepurposeofthisactivityisnotmerelytoincreaseself-awareness.Itwillhelpyoutoconsidertheultimategoalsofleadershipsothatyoukeepinmindtheimportanceofyourleadershipforthegreatergood.Theresultwillbeamoremeaningfulgoal—orsetofgoals—thatbringsfulfillmenttoyouandthoseyoulead.

Therearemanytypesofleadership.Whatdoesleadershipmeantoyou?Whatistheroleandpurposeofaleader?Asyouthinkaboutyourowndefinitionofleadership,someofthewordsyouusedmayhavegivenyouaclueastowhatstyleofleadershipyougravitatetoward.Didyouusewordssuchashelporserveothers?Didyoutalkaboutdevelopingothers?Doyoulookatleadershipasaprocess?Isitinteractive?Withwhom?Asyouthinkaboutthekindofleaderyouwanttobe,considerthevarioustypesofleadershipdescribedinthetablebelow.

TYPESOFLEADERSHIP

TypeofLeadership IllustrativePerspectives

Servantleadership RobertGreenleaf,KenBlanchard,MarkMiller

Purpose-drivenleadership BillGeorge,ClaytonChristensen

Positiveleadership RobertQuinn,RyanQuinn,KimCameron

AppreciativeInquiryleadership DavidCooperrider,DianaWhitney,EdSchein

Stewardshipleadership PeterBlock,NelsonMandela

ConversationsThatMatterleadership MegWheatley,BevKaye,SharonJordan-Evans,JuanitaBrown

Peer-to-peerleadership MilaBaker,BillGeorge

Benevolentdictatorship Somanyexamples

Benevolentdictatorship Somanyexamples

Command-and-controlleadership Someveryfamousexamples

TowardaBalancedLeadershipStoryforYou

Thisbookisaboutgettingyourleadershipstorystraight.Itisaboutfacingtherealitiesofyourleadershipstoryfrommultipleangles.Itisaboutunderstandingwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.Itisalsoaboutunderstandingandaligningyourbeliefsasaleaderwiththeperceptionsofothers—thatcriticalbalance.Inshort,YourLeadershipStoryisaboutunderstanding,aligning,andcommunicatingwhoyouareasaleader.

TwoBigQuestions

Chapter1concernstwoimportantquestions,solet’strytoanswerthem.

WHATMAKESGREATLEADERSHIP?Manydefinitionsofleadershipexist—toomanytomentionhere.Whatdoesgreatleadershipmeantoyou?Andwhatdoesitmeaninthecontextofyourorganization?

Lookaroundyouatthevariousleadersyoudealwithregularly.Whatdotheydothatisinspiring?Uninspiring?Thereareplentyofexamplesofgreatleadersandbadleaders.Whereveryoustandonthespectrumofgreat-to-poorleadersandwhateveryourdefinitionofleadershipis,Iwouldhaveonequestionforyou:Howisthatworkingforyou?Ifeverythingisgoingperfectly,keepupthegoodwork.Formostleaders,thereareopportunitiesforimprovementsomewhereintheirskillset.

Despitethecomplexityofleadership,thereseemtobesomecommonattributes,skills,andcharacteristicsamonggreatleaders.Leadershavetobetechnicallycompetent.Buttechnicalcompetencecanbebothahindranceandarequirementtobeagreatleader.

Irefertotechnicalcompetenceasacriticalpartofyourleadershipfoundationbecauseyouhavetohavetechnicalcompetenceandunderstandthebusinessyouareinbeforeyoucanbealeader.Atthesametime,asyoutakeonleadership

responsibilities,youwillhavetoletgoofsomeofyourtechnicalresponsibilities—thatwhichgotyouhere—inordertoembraceleadership.Youneedtotaketimetounderstandthevariousaspectsofthebusinessyouarein,thecompetitivelandscape,andtheoperatingenvironmentinordertomakegood,fundamentallysound,andrelevantbusinessdecisions.

Technicalcompetencecanbeabarriertogreatleadershipfortworeasons.First,beingtechnicallycompetentdoesnotautomaticallyensureleadershipcompetence.Ihaveseenthisfirsthandonnumerousoccasionswhereaperfectlycapableemployeegetspromotedintoaleadershippositionandfailsasaleader.Second,leaderswithtechnicalexpertisemayhaveadifficulttimelettinggooftheirtechnicalresponsibilities.Ihaveseenleaderscontinuetospendtimeonaspectsoftheirjobthattheyshoulddelegate.Greatleadersneedtofocusonleadership.

Greatleadershiprequiresprovidingvisionanddirection.Itrequiresmotivatingandinspiringpeopletoworktowardthevision.Itrequiresdevelopingotherpeople.Anditrequiresachievingresults.Inshort,leadershipisaboutpeople.Yourabilitytoconnectwithpeoplecanmakeallthedifferencebetweengreatandpoorleadership.Wherethisgetsparticularlycomplexisthatdifferentpeoplehavedifferentneeds,andthoseneedsmayshiftovertime,alongwithahostofotherchangingvariables.Leadershipisadynamic,movingtargetthatrequiresyoutobethoughtfulandpreparedinyourapproach.Yourleadershipstoryservesasananchorandfoundationforyouractionsasaleader.

Greatleadershaveaplan,andalsotheyaregreatimprovisers.Justasagoodactorhastoimproviseonstageifsomethingunplannedhappens,greatbusinessleaders,asimprovisers,aretheactor,writer,anddirectoroftheirstory.Theymustactinthemoment.Aswriter,theymustinitiateideas.Andasdirector,theymustprovideabiggerviewandfacilitateroomforideas,creativity,andaction.

WHYFOCUSONYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY?Youaretheactor,writer,anddirectorofyourleadershipstory.Youactinthemoment,initiateideas,provideabiggerview,andallowforideasandcreativity.Understandingandcommunicatingyourleadershipstorycanbequitepowerful.Itprovidesclarityaroundwhatyoustandforasaleader.Itkeepsalivethepeople,values,andlifelessonsthatyouholddear.Itgivesyouthepowerofinfluenceandauthenticitybyallowingyoutomatchyourwordsandyouractions.Itallowsyoutobuildtrust.Trustleadstocredibility.

Byhelpingyoutounderstandwhathasshapedyouasaleader,yourleadershipstorycanmakethestrongemotionalconnectionthatisnecessaryto

leadershipstorycanmakethestrongemotionalconnectionthatisnecessarytoinspireandmotivateothers.Itcanalsobeausefultoolwithwhichtoimpartknowledgeandlessonstoothers—tohelpthemlearnfromtheexperiencesthathaveshapedyourleadershipstory.Anditprovidesyouandotherswithinsightsintowhatyouholdimportantasaleader.

Byunderstandingyourleadershipstory,youwillhavegreaterself-awarenessandfewerblindspots.Itwillalsoprovideastartingpointforyouasyoucontinuetodevelopasaleader.Itwillguideyouinmodifyingyourstorysothatyoucanbeabetterleader.Whenyoueffectivelycommunicateyourleadershipstory,youandotherswillhaveclarityaboutyourexpectationsasaleader.

Leadershipisajourneythatinvolvesthepast,thepresent,andthefuture.Onceuponatime,yourleadershipstorywasablankpagefilledwithhopes,dreams,opportunities,andinspiration.Formany,thosehopesanddreamsincludedbeingagreatleader.Asyouhaverealizedsomehopesanddreams,andhavelearnedmorethroughexperienceaboutwhatmakesagreatleader,perhapsneworrevisedideasaroundbeingagreatleaderhavesprungup.

Whathascontributedtotheevolutionofyournotionsaboutleadership?Whathassupportedyouinyourpersonalquesttobeagreatleader?Whathasinhibitedyoufrombeingyourbest?Lookingahead,whatareyoupreparedtodotobethebestleaderyoucanbe?

Mysix-year-olddaughterrecentlytoldmesomethingprofoundandrelevanttounderstandingourleadershipstory.Shesaid,“Firstyouplantaseed.Thenyounourishit.Thenitsprouts.Thenitgrows.Finally,itturnsintoaflower.”

Ournourishmentforgrowthanddevelopmentconsistsofreflection,action,andinsights.Let’sfaceit—weoperateinaveryaction-orientedenvironment.Wespendmoretimeonactionandresultsthatrewardus,andfarlesstimeonthinkingandreflecting.Reflectionisaprocessofunderstandingwhathappenedandwhy.Itcreatesself-awareness.Alackofself-awarenessleadstoblindspots,andattheleastitputsyouatadisadvantageasaleader.

Who’sgottimeforthisreflectionandself-awareness?Iwouldrestatethat:Whohastimetogetleadershipwrong?Whenyoucombineself-awarenesswithawillingnesstostretchoutsideyourcomfortzone,youwillseethegreatestbreakthroughsandmaximizeyourleadershippotential.

Learningplaysakeyroleindevelopingyourstory.Reflectionisaboutaskingyourselfquestions.Itmayrequirethinkingdifferentlyandtakingactioninordertobuildcapability.Onceyouhavemasteredyourleadershipstory,youwillmakestrongerconnectionsandinspire,energize,andmotivatethoseyoulead.Youwillbeabetterleader.

WhenIrunworkshopsforleaders,attheendofthesession,Iaskthegroupasimplequestion:“Sowhat?”Sowhatdidyoulearnfromthis?Andsowhatareyougoingtodowithit?Iaskforonlyafewofthekeyconceptstheylearned,asIhavefoundthattobemorerealisticininitiatingchange.Ifyougaininsightswithoutaction,thisbookwillbeonlypartiallyuseful.However,ifyougaininsightsandtakeaction,thisbookwillbemuchmoreusefulandpotentiallytransformational.Whenyoufinishthisbook,askyourselfthesamequestions:WhatdidIlearn—aboutmyself,aboutleadership,andaboutmyleadershipstory?AndwhatamIwillingandpreparedtodoaboutit?

TheDrivingCatalyst

Whathappenstopeopletomakethemwanttolead—andleadsuccessfully?Mydaughterwouldsayitwasaseedthatgotplantedinsidethem.Saidanotherway,what’stheinstigation,thedriver,theprompt,orthescriptchangethatalteredhowtheyactedasaleader?Whatflippedtheswitch?Wasitsomedramaticturningpoint?Somechangeofheartorviewpoint,ordidtheyreceivesomelife-changingcriticism?Somewhereintheircareerdevelopmentsomethingchanged,andtheyfoundthemselveswithanewcompass.

Howoftenhaveyouheardsomeoneask,“Whatdrivesthatguy,anyhow?”WhenPaulO’NeilltookoverasCEOofAlcoain1987,hefacedaserious

leadershipwall.Trustatplantswaslackingbecauseofequipmentsafetyfailures.Unionswantedaction,especiallybecauseplantmanagersdidnotenforcesafetyrules.WhatdidO’NeillchooseasthedriverforhisleadershipofthesprawlingAlcoa?Workersafety.Hegavehishomephonenumbertoworkerstocallifsomethingwasbrokenorunsafe.Plantmanagerslearnedquicklythattheycouldbefiredforcoveringupasafetyviolation.BythetimeO’Neillleftthecompanyin2000,trustandqualityhadimproved,andsohadrevenue.Theannualnetincomewasfivetimeshigherthanin1987.Andhestartednotwithquarterlynumbersandstockvaluebutwithworkersafety.

NelsonMandelaturnedhis27yearsinprisonintoadriveforracialreconciliationinSouthAfrica.Hehadthevotestobecomepresidentandcouldhavechosenrevenge.Hedidnot,andthecountrywasbetterforit.

HowardSchultz,legendaryStarbucksCEO,neverforgothowhisfatherhadbeenfiredafterbreakinghislegonadeliveryroute.Thefamilylostitsincomeanditshealthcare.Schultz’sdrivewastocreateasuccessfulcompanythatgaveallemployeeshealth-carebenefits.

Iwanttohelpyouidentifythatdriver,thatseedasmydaughtercallsit,thatdramaticchangethatcanhelpyouwriteyourleadershipstory.Onthatbasis,wecandevelopthestory’splotinchapter2,Step1.

IntroducingBob

Butfirst,let’sintroducethesubjectofourrunningcasestudy,Bob.Bobworksinalargeserviceorganization,andhe’shadseveralsuchjobsutilizinghisexpertiseinotherfirms.Bobisaninnovativethinker,acreativeperson,who,whenlefttohisspace,comesupwithgreatideas.ButasIindicatedintheintroduction,hewantstodeterminewhetherheshouldcontinueasheisinhisprofessionortakeonmoreduties.Ishereadytobealeader?Hisanxietystemsfromatruedilemma:this…orthat,andishetakingontoomuch?

“Tim,I’vehadagreatruninmyprofession.I’veworkedformanycompanies.Eachgavemewidelatitudetocreatenewstuff,andIlikethat.ButIamjumpingaroundalot.Fiveemployersinthelast15years.It’stakingatollonmyfamily.”

“Whydidyouleaveeachcompany,Bob?”Iaskedhim.“Well,otherswerebeingtappedforbiggerprojects,soIfigureditwastime

tomoveon.What’smore,eachnewcompanywasinadifferentmarketspace,anditseemedlikeagoodwaytolearn.”

“OK,butwhatIamhearingisthis:youwanttosettledownalittle,onthepersonallevel,sowhatdoyouwanttogiveup?”

“IguessIhavetogiveupthethrillofmyownpetprojectsandbecomeateamleader.ButrecentlyabunchofmypeersandItookaleisurelyFridaylunchafterIannouncedthatIwasleavingthecompany.Conversationstartedwithquestionsaboutthenewjobandthendriftedtoprojectsandpromotionsatmycurrentfirm.Istartedtalkingaboutmyprojects.“Youguysaretakingonbiggerprojectswithmoreadminstuff,butIamofftolearnanewbusiness.”

“Stoprightthere,Bob.Howdidyourlunchmatesreacttothatstatement?”Iasked.

“Well,Iaskedwhytheyweredoingthat,givinguptheirownautonomyandall.ButIguesstheimplicationofmyquestionjustploppeddownrightonthetableandkindofsatthere:whynotme?Anuneasysilencecameoverthegroup.Theystarted,youknow,checkingtheiriPhonesandfidgeting.”

“Afterthedeadair,didanyonesayanythingmore?”Iasked.“Oneguysmiledkindofweaklyandsaidsomethingaboutthevalueoflarger

“Oneguysmiledkindofweaklyandsaidsomethingaboutthevalueoflargerteams,somethinglikerunningabigteamdevelopsmorewinnersandinnovators,andmostcompanieswantthat.Headded,‘Butittakespeoplewhocanlead.It’sonethingtobeatechnocratorexpertinyourprofession,butit’sabiggerthingtobecomealeaderofotherexperts.’ThenhesaidsomethingIhaveneverheardoforthoughtofbefore.Hesaid,‘Bob,youhavetodevelopanewprofession—leadership.Notjustprojectmanagement.Notjustmanagingacoupleofpeople.Strategicleadership.’

“Andthenanotherguyatthetablesaiditmoreemphatically.HetoldmethatIneededtogoafterandbeginleadingbigteamswhereIwouldsetthevision,motivateanddeveloptheteammembers—anddeliverbigresults.Hesaidthatforbigcompanies,it’spureeconomics,likethemultipliereffect.”

“Howdidthatonehityou,Bob?”Iasked.“Well,thethirdguypipedup.Icouldtellhewasrealuncomfortable,you

know,scrunchinguphismouth.HesaidIhadthereputationofbeingaloneranger,acontrolfreak.Theotherssmileduneasilyatthatone.Wow.IhadnoideaIwasperceivedthatway.Iwasshocked.Itwasquiteanawakening,likethemirrorjustgotrefocusedrightinfrontofme.”

“Sodidthatcasuallunchbecomeaturningpointforyou?”“Itsurelydid.Tim,IamrealizingsomethingIhadn’tthoughtaboutbefore.

Expertiseisoneprofession,buteventuallyyouhavetoapplyyourindividualexpertisetotheleadershipofothers—teams,sometimesbigteams—tobecomereally,reallyvaluable.Ihavetostopbeingaloneranger.I’vegottolearnhowtoleadstrategicteams.Bybeingabetterleadermyself,Iwillhavethepotentialtogetgreaterresultsandtohaveagreaterimpactonothers.Thatcanbealotofpressure.ButIamnotsureIcanrisetothatlevelofresponsibility.CanIbecomethatbigaleader?DoIhavetherightstuff—orshouldIstickwiththepathIamon?Canyouwalkmethroughyourprocess?”

WewillvisitwithBobaswewalkhim,andyou,thereader,througheachstep.Itmaynotbeacompletelysunnywalk,butyouwillbegratefulfortheexercise.

CHAPTERII

UnderstandingandAligningYourLeadershipStory

Yourleadershipstoryiscomplexanddynamic.Sinceleadershipisajourneythatinvolvesthepast,present,andfuture,yourleadershipstoryevolves.Itistheresultofnumerousfactorsovertime.Thegoodnews?Yourleadershipstoryhasdevelopedandwillcontinuetodevelop.Thissuggeststhatyouhavetheabilitytoreflectonandlearnfromthepast.Italsosuggeststhatyouhavetheabilitytoshapethefutureofyourleadershipstory.Doingsowilltakeworkandcommitmentonyourpart.Italsorequiresthatyoustartwithaframeworkinwhichtothinkaboutyourleadershipstory.

Tounderstandorwriteastory,aswealllearnedinliteratureclasses,youhavetoconsiderseveralelementsofyourstoryandprovidedetailsthatwillhelpittohavethedesiredimpact.

ButdonotmisinterpretwhatIamsaying.Byputtingforththesestoryelements,Iamnotencouragingyoutofictionalizeyourlife.Rather,youareusingthemastoolstounderstandhowyourstorymightwellvaryfromhowothersdescribeyourleadership.Youshouldnothavetwoleadershipstoriescontradictingeachother.Whenthathappens,youwillbeperceivedaslackingauthenticity.Overtime,itwilldraintheenergyandmotivationfromthoseyoulead.What’smore,yourtruestory,yourfullerstory,goesbeyondyoursurfaceappearancetoyourmoredeeplyheldvalues,beliefs,andactions.

WhatMakesaGoodStory?

Everystoryhasseveralkeycomponents:plot,characters,conflict,theme,andsetting.Yourleadershipstoryisnodifferent.Foryourleadershipstorytobe

setting.Yourleadershipstoryisnodifferent.Foryourleadershipstorytobeauthentic,youneedtoadddetailsandfeelingsforrichnessaroundeachelement,andyouneedyourperceptionstobealignedwithothers’perceptions.

Everyleadershipstorymusthaveaplot.Step1focusesontheplotofyourleadershipstory.Withinthiscontext,yourplotiswhyyoudowhatyoudo.Itfocusesonwhatprovidesyouwithasenseofpurpose.Itiswhatinspiresandmotivatesyou.Itclarifiesandreinforcesyourvaluesasaleader.Youhavetoknowwhereyouaregoing,ornoonewillfollowyou.Thisisthestartingpointforunderstandingyourviewsofyourleadershipstory.Butknowingwhereyouwanttogoandwhatdrivesyouisonlyonepartoftheequation.Youalsohavetoknowwhatisimportanttoothers,asthiswillshapetheirinterpretationsofyourstory.

Storiesarefilledwithcharacters.Youarethecentralcharacterofyourownleadershipstory.Tobeeffectiveasaleader,youneedtocreateaconnectiontotheothercharacters.Step2exploresthecharactersandnatureofyourrelationshipsinyourstory.Theothercharactersinyourleadershipstorycanserveaschampions,orprotagonists,ortheycanbedetractors,orantagonists.Whenyou’reseekingtounderstandothers’perceptionsofyourstory,thecharactersarethestartingpoint.Youmustidentifywhothekeycharactersofyourstoryare,whattheirroleis,andtheirperceptionsofyourstory.

Nostorywouldbecompletewithoutconflict.Conflictrevealsthestruggle.Thestruggleinyourleadershipstorycanbewithpeopleoruncertaintyaroundyourplot,tasks,andresources,tonameafewexamples.Withregardtoyourleadershipstory,leadershipisnotjustaboutgettingresults;itisabouthowyoudoso.InStep3,wewillexpandontheroleofconflictinyourleadershipstory.

Thethemeofastoryisthemainidea.Inyourleadershipstory,thethemecomesthroughintheformofbehaviors,skills,andhabits.Step4delvesintotheroleofthemeinyourleadershipstory.Itlooksathowyouthinkyouaredoinginkeyareasofleadership,aswellashowothersthinkyouaredoing.

Storiestakeplaceinasetting.Itcanbeasinglesettingoravarietyofsettings.Inyourleadershipstory,thesettingcanplayacriticalroleinshapingyourplot,introducingyoutocharacters,anddevelopingyourtheme.InStep5,wewillexploretheroleofsettinginyourleadershipstory.Wewillexaminetheelementsthatallowyoutobeatyourbest,aswellashowyoucontributetoothers’beingattheirbest.

STEP1

DefineYourPlot

Yourplotistheinspirationbehindyouraction.Itanswersthequestionofwhyyoudowhatyoudo.Itisthefoundationofyourleadershipstory.Thisisalsoreferredtoasyourmissionorpurpose,anditislikelydrivenbywhatyouvalue,orholdimportant.Understandingyourpurposeasaleadercanhaveprofoundimpactonyouandthosearoundyou.Further,whatothersaroundyouvaluewillhaveaprofoundimpactonhowtheyinterpretyourstory.

Besidesbeinghighlyenlighteningandpersonallymotivationaltothosearoundyou,theplotprovidesclarityaroundyourintentandhelpsguideyourdecisions.Itcanprovideinspirationforyouandthosearoundyou.Andthatinspirationandenergycanbecontagious.

Alongtheselines,yourroleasaleaderistoinstillasenseofpurpose.Yourplot,ifwelldefinedandarticulated,canalsobeasourceofinspirationforothers.Ontheotherhand,ifyourpurposeisnotwelldefinedoryoudon’tbelieveinyourpurpose,thenhowcanyouexpectotherstobelieveinit?Howcanyouexpectotherstobeinspiredortofollowyou?

Inadditiontoreflectingyourmissionorpurpose,yourplotislargelydrivenbyyourvalues.Yourcorevaluesareyourfundamentalbeliefsthatdriveyourperformance.Ihaveheardcorevaluesreferredtoasguidingprinciples.Theyareattheheartofyourleadershipstoryandwilldriveyouridentityasaleader.Intheactivitiesbelow,youwillhavetheopportunitytoreflectonyourcorevalues,orguidingprinciples.

Itypicallyhearcertainquestionsatthispoint:WhydoIneedapersonalmission,andwhathappensifIdon’thaveone?Whatisthebenefitofexpressingmypersonalmissiontoothers?DoIreallyhavetodeclarewhatmymissionandvaluesare,andhowandwhendoIdoso?

Johntackledsimilarquestions.Healwaysdidwellinhisjob.Hehadstudiedbusinessinschool,tookajobinthefinancedepartmentofhiscompany,andwasprogressinginhiscareer.Hewaspersonable,heshowedinitiative,andthequalityofhisworkwasalwaysaboveaverage.Hehadfourjunioremployeesasdirectreports,buthealwayshadanuneasyfeelingabouthisroleasaleader.Hefeltasthoughhewasjustgoingthroughthemotions,andhewasn’tevensureiftheyweretherightmotions.Asaresult,theenergyofhisteamwasflat—asiftheywerejustgoingthroughthemotions,too.

Bychance,oneofhiscolleagues,Susan,invitedhimtobeaguestspeakeratherteammeeting.Ashesatthroughthemeeting,heobservedsomethinghehadnotexperiencedinteammeetingsbefore.Therewasapalpableenergyinthe

notexperiencedinteammeetingsbefore.Therewasapalpableenergyintheroom.Everyonewaslisteningintently,providingfeedbackinanopen,constructivedialogue.Italmostseemedasthoughtheywerehavingfun.Hecouldn’thelpbutnoticethatSusan’steamwasevenmoreupbeatoutsideofthemeetings.Soitwasn’tjustabouthavingfunmeetings.

JohnwantedtoknowwhatenergizedSusan’steamsomuch.Amonthafterobservingherteaminavarietyofworksettings,hefinallyaskedherwhatthetrickwasformakinghermeetingssopositive.Sheclaimedthattherewasnotrick—theywereallworkingtowardthesamegoal.

Susanexplainedthatshehaddonethreethings,shortlyaftertakingovertheteam,thatbecametherallyingcryoranchorforhowtheteamworked.First,shewrotedownwhatshepersonallywantedtoaccomplishasaleader:shewantedtobealeaderwhoprovidedgrowthanddevelopmentopportunitiesforherteam,andwhointroducedsolutionsthataddedvaluetothebusiness.Second,shewrotedownwhatshethoughtwasimportanttogettingtheworkdone.Shewrotedownthingslikefun(notsurprisingly),respect,collaboration,andexpertise.Sheexplainedthatshesharedthesewithherteamandsaid,“Thatishowwewillgetourworkdone,andwecanallholdeachothertoit.”Andthird,shesetouttolearnmoreaboutthemonapersonallevelandtoheardirectlyaboutindividuals’interestsandgoals.Shescheduledameetingwitheverypersononherteam.Itwasabigundertakingandtooktimeoverandabovetheprojectworkshewasresponsiblefor.

JohnthoughtaboutwhatSusantoldhim.Hehadneverconsideredthisapproachbefore.Buthefigured,whynotgiveitatry?Writingdownthequalitiesoftheleaderhewantedtobeprovedmoredifficultthanhehadimagined.Hereallystruggledwithit.Butaftertwomonthsandseveraliterations,hefeltthathehadsomethinghewascomfortablewith.

Atthenextmeetingwithhisteam,heexplainedthathehadnotgivenleadership—particularlyhisownleadership—muchattentionbutthathehadbeenworkingonitoverthelastcoupleofmonths.Hetoldhisteamthathewantedtochange—tobeabetterleader,notjustforhimselfbutforthem—andthathewasgoingtoneedtheirhelp.Heunveiledhismissionstatementandsharedhisvaluesconcerninghowtheworkwasgoingtogetdone.Oneofhisvalueswascollaboration.So,truetohisword,heaskedforfeedback.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTPLOT1.Whathasbeenmostrewardinginyourcareer?Why?2.Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwantto

2.Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwanttomakeadifference/haveimpact?

3.Whatisimportanttoyouasaleader?Why?4.Whatinspiresandenergizesyouasaleader?5.Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplishasaleader?

ActivitiestoBuildandRefineYourPlot

Thefirsttwoactivitiesinthissection—DefineLeadershipandWhatDoYouValue?—areadaptedfromSteveArneson’sbookBootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeChargeandMoveUp.3TheyaresoimportanttothefoundationofdevelopingyourleadershipstorythatIincludedthemhere.Thefifthactivity—You’reonaMission—isadaptedfromJimLoehr’sbookThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessandinLife.4LoehrhasagreatframeworkandtakesabroaderviewofstorythanIdohere.Whereashefocusesonyourlifestory,Iamfocusedonunderstandinganddevelopingyourleadershipstory.

Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers

DefineLeadership✓ ✓

WhatDoYouValue?✓ ✓

SolidGrounds✓

GetExcited✓

You’reonaMission✓

DEFINELEADERSHIPTherearecountlessdefinitionsofleadershipintextbooksandontheInternet.I

TherearecountlessdefinitionsofleadershipintextbooksandontheInternet.Iamnotsuggestingthatyoureciteanyorallofthem,butitisimportant,asaleader,foryoutoidentifywhatyoubelieveleadershipmeans.Itshouldbeinherentlyyourpointofview.Youshouldbaseitonyourpersonalexperienceaswellasonanybooksyouhaveread,storiesyouarefamiliarwith,orinsightsyouhavegainedfromothers.

Thinkaboutwhatitmeansforyoutobealeaderofotherpeople.Whataretheexpectationsthatgoalongwiththat?Whataretheskillsrequiredtoleadeffectively?Whatdoyouviewasthemostimportantaspectsofbeingaleader?Onceyouhavewrittentheseideasdown,besuretorevisitthem,andbepreparedtosharethemwithothers.

Tobeaneffectiveleadermeansto

Youwillbegivingsomeoftheactivitiesinthisbooktootherpeoplewiththeaimofinitiatingaconversationthatwillhelpyoutobetterunderstandhowyouareperceivedbyothers.Thefirstistoaskselectindividuals—includingdirectreports,peers,andyourboss—howtheythinkyoudefineleadership.Thesecondistoaskthemhowtheydefineleadership.Itshouldbeaguidedconversation.Thefirstapproachshouldbeutilizedwhereyouareanestablishedleader.Itprovidesinsightsintohowyouractionsandprioritiesarebeingperceived.Thesecondcouldbeusedforneworestablishedteams.Itprovidesinsightsintohowyourviewsalignwithothers’andlendsitselftoestablishingacommonleadershiplanguageamongyourteam.

HowdoyouthinkIdefineleadership?

Whatdoyouthinkitmeanstobeaneffectiveleader?

WHATDOYOUVALUE?Thisactivityconsistsofthreeparts.Thefirstrequiresabitofreflectiononwhatyoubelieveasaleader.Whatfundamentallydrivesyourbehaviorsanddecisionsthatyouareunwillingtocompromise?Thesecondpartrequiresgatheringobservationsofhowothersviewwhatyouvalueasaleader.Itwillhelpillustratewhatgetsrewardedandwhatisdiscouragedbyyou.Andthethirdpartinvolvesaction.

Inordertocreatealevelofaccountabilityandownership,onceyouhavedefinedyourcorevaluesandunderstandhowothersperceivethosevalues,youneedtocommunicatethem.Irecommendstartingwithyourteam.Letthemknowwhatyouvalue;andwherethereismisalignment,establishaplanforactingdifferently.

Forthisactivity,thinkaboutwhatisimportanttoyouaboutleadingotherpeople.Howdoyouvalueinterpersonalinteraction?Whatpersonalitycharacteristicsortraitsdoyouholdinhighregard?Isthereanythingaboutworkingwithateamthatyouholdimportant?Otherworkprocesses?Outcomes?Doesanythingoutsideofworkfactorintoyourvalues?

Itmayhelptothinkaboutasituationinwhichyouwerefacedwithadifficultdecisionorsomeotherchallengeyouneededtoworkthrough.Howyoumadeyourdecision,whetherornotyouwereawareofit,mayhavebeendrivenlargelybyyourcorevalues.Remember,thesearetrulyyours—whatyouholdasimperativeandareunwillingtocompromiseorwaverabout.Mostpeoplehave5to10corevalues,althoughyoucanhavemoreorless.

Asaleader,Ivalue…

Wherethereisalackofalignment,whatwillIdodifferently?

SOLIDGROUNDAsaleader,youwilllikelyberequiredtocompromiseonsomeissues.Youwillhavetotakeastandorhaveapositionaboutvarioussubjects.Youshouldhaveaclearunderstandingofthosethingsonwhichyouareunwillingtocompromise.Thatisanaturalpartofleadership.Anditisyourjobasleadertobuildthebestcultureyoucan—onethatisproductive,collaborative,flexible,andfair,anddeliversresultsthatmatter.

Aspartofthis,youmayfindafewareasinwhichyouareunwillingtocompromise.Theseusuallycenteronyourcorevalues.Thelikelihoodisthatyoucanactoutofyourcorevaluesinavarietyofwayswithouthavingtocompromisethem.Forthisactivity,writedownthosefewareasthatareanchorstoyourleadershipstory—thatyouareunwillingtocompromiseon.

Asanexample,youmayvaluecollaborationandteamwork.Ifyouareworkingonaprojectthatisnotexhibitingthelevelofteamworkyouwouldlike,youmightsaysomething.Butyoucouldlikelyadapttothesituationwithoutcompromisingyourvalues.Ontheotherhand,ifyouseeindividualstakingcreditforworkthatisn’ttheirs,ortheyareotherwisenotgivingcreditforworkdoneasagroup,youmightfindthatunacceptableandbeyondcompromise.

Takealookbackatyourcorevaluesasastartingpointandwritedown(a)thosecriticalareasthatyouholdsacred,(b)whatspecificallyyouwilldotoreinforcethepositiveaspectsofthosebehaviors,and(c)howyouwouldhandleabreachofthosebehaviors.

GETEXCITEDIrecentlymetsomebodyforthefirsttimeataconference.Wegotintoabriefconversationaboutwhowewere,whatwedid,andhowwehadarrivedatthispointinourcareers.Asweeachtookturnsdiscussingourbackground(orstory),Inoticedtwoveryinterestingpoints.Asweeachtoldourstory,wechosetohighlightcertainaspectsand,speakingformyself,leftoutaconsiderableamount.IwonderedwhyIchosetohighlightwhatIdid.Clearly,whenmeetingsomeoneforthefirsttime,youdon’twanttogiveeverylastdetailofyourstory.Howdoyoudeterminewhatyouwouldliketoshareaboutyourself?Thesecondinterestingobservationwasthatweeachexpressedenthusiasmaroundcertainaspectsofourstory.Ihadneverthoughtaboutthatbefore.Ishouldpointoutthatweaskedeachotherquestionssuchas“Whatdidyoudothere?”“Whydidyouleavethatjob?”“Whatdidyoulove(ornot)aboutthatjob?Aboutyourcurrentjob?”

Hereisyourchancetothinkaboutwhatyou’reenthusiasticabout.Forthisactivity,thinkbacktoyourjourneythusfar.Writeabriefstoryofwhatgotyoutothispoint.Imaginethatyouaretellingsomeoneaboutyourpathtowhereyouaretoday.Whatdoyouhighlight?Whatdoyougetexcitedabout?Listwhatinspiresandmotivatesyouaboutyourworkandbeingaleader.Whenitcomestoyourlist,morespecificitywillallowyoutomakeapersonalconnectionwithyourownstory.Also,focusingonthepositivescangeneratesomeexcitementandpossibleclarityaroundwhatenergizesyou.

YOU’REONAMISSIONEarlyinmycareer,IalwayswonderedwhyIhadaslightlyuneasyfeelingaboutit.Iwaschallenged.Iwaslearningalot.IwascontributinginthefieldIhadpreparedfor.OrsoIthought.

Itwasn’tuntilmanyyearsintomycareerthatItookthetimetothinkaboutwhatItrulylovedtodoatwork.TheworkIhadbeendoingwasnotfarofffrommytruemission,whichmayormaynothavehelpedbecauseIdidnotfeelsodisorientedaboutmyworkthatIhadtochange.Iwasjustalittleuneasyabout

disorientedaboutmyworkthatIhadtochange.Iwasjustalittleuneasyaboutmycareer.IwasdoingworkIthoughtIwassupposedtodo,basedonmyeducation,myexperience,andwhatotherpeoplethoughtIshoulddo.ItwasnotwhatItrulywantedtodo.

Ihadnopersonalleadershipmissionstatementandhadnevergivenitathought.Myleadershipstoryandcareerwereoncruisecontrol.ItwasnotuntilIwasupforapromotion—whichIthoughtIwantedbecauseIshouldbemovingupinmycareer—thatIrealizeditwasnotwhatIwantedatall.Thepromotionwouldhavetakenmefurtherawayfromtheworkthatenergizedmethemost.Iaskedmyself,“WhatisitthatIreallywanttodo?”Sometimes,bylookingatwhatyoudon’twanttodo,youcanbegintonarrowdownwhatyoudowanttodo.

Itookthetimetowritemypersonalleadershipmissionstatement.Ithasgonethroughacoupleofiterations,butIhavefoundittobefairlydurable.Yourpersonalleadershipmissionstatementcanbepowerfulforyouandforothers.Itcanprovideclarityofpurposeanddirectyourenergy.Itcanmotivateandinspireothersaswell.

Asluckwouldhaveit,Iwasabletotryoutsomeprojectsinmythen-currentrolethatweremuchclosertomyinterest.Ithinkthesayingis“Likeaducktowater.”Myideasexpanded,asdidmyenergy.Havingthatclarityallowedmetomakethedecisiontodomoreoftheworkthatinspiredandmotivatedmeandothers.Anddoyouknowwhat?Myenergyandenthusiasmgrewandbecamecontagious.

Makenomistake,thechangewasrisky.IrealizedthatIcouldfurtherclarifymymissionstatementwithmoreexperienceandinsights.AndIamalwaysfine-tuninghowIenactmymission.

Writeyourpersonalleadershipmissionstatement.Thisshouldnotbeasummaryoftheworkyoudotoday;rather,itshouldbeanaspirationalstatementthatgetsyouexcitedtoleadpeopleanddoyourwork.Itisacombinationoflookingbackatwhathasinspiredyouinthepastandlookingforwardatwhatyouwillstrivetobeasaleader.Considerthefollowingquestions:

•Whatdoyouwanttoaccomplishasaleaderaboveallelse?•Whatareyoudedicatedtoasaleader?•Wheredoyoubringthegreatestvalue?•Whatprovidesyouwiththegreatestsenseofsatisfactionasaleader?•Howdoyouwanttoberememberedasaleader?

•Whatistheleadershiplegacyyouwanttoleave?•Whatimpactdoyouwanttohaveonothers?

Note:Effectivemissionstatementsarestraightforward,onetothreesentencesmax.Yourmissionshouldhavetwoparts.Thefirstpartshouldfocusonthecontributionyouwanttomake:whatyouwanttoaccomplishandforwhom.Youshouldincludeaverbandwriteitinthepresenttense.Thesecondpartofyourmissionstatementshouldconveythepurposebehindwhyyoulead.Whatimpactwillyouhaveontheaudience?Thinkintermsofresults,impact,andlegacy.

Personalmissionstatementscanberefinedovertime,butyouhavetostartsomewhere.

Mypersonalmissionisto…

QuickTips

ToBuildandRefineYourPlot1.Youmustknowwhatyoubelieveinandwhereyouwanttogoasaleaderinorderforotherstobeinspiredtofollow.

2.Identifywhatinspiresandenergizesyouaboutyourwork.3.Sharingyourpointofviewwithotherswillholdyouaccountable.

BobPondersHisPlot

OurcolleagueBobhasbeenlow-keysincethatfatefullunch.Low-keyatbest,blownawayatworst.

“Tim,thisplotthing.Iknowwhatastoryplotis.Everyonedoes.ButI’vehadagoodcareer,andmyrésumésaysthat.Iholdcertificationinmyfield.There.Isyourleadershipstoryjustalongerversionof

résumésaysthat.Iholdcertificationinmyfield.There.Isyourleadershipstoryjustalongerversionofyourelevatorspeech?”

“Astoryhastobeinteresting,Bob.Itcontainsfacts,yes,butitalsocontainsqualitativethingsthatspeaktoemotions—yoursandthoseofthefolksaroundyou,”Itoldhim.“Ithastohaveelementsthatpeoplenotice,grabonto,andaskyouabout.”

“Givemesomecolorandflavorhere,”Bobaskedsomewhatimpatiently.“OK,whatismorefun—managingprojectafterproject,smalltacticalprojects,alldonewell,Iamsure?

Orabiggame-changingproject?Maybe“project”istoolimitedaterm.Whichsuccesswouldmakeforabetterleadershipstory,Bob?Andwhowouldn’twanttobeledbyagame-changingleaderonasignificantstrategiceffort?SteveJobsdidn’tleadprojects.SteveJobsreinventedentireaspectsofourlives.Andheledenergizedpeople.Hewasatough,demandingboss,butlookwhathedid,andlookatthetalenthedeveloped.Thinkofitthisway:Managingisaboutspreadsheets.We’renottalkingprojectmanagementhere.Leadershipisaboutthepotentialforevolution.Thattakesvisionandtheabilitytofosterfollowership.Inspiredleadershipinvolvesinspiredfollowership.Soyourleadershipstoryhastohaveaplotthatisdistinctive.It’snotjustnumbers;it’semotions.”

“Goodexamples,Tim.ButI’mnotacrusaderorrevolutionary.Ihaven’tinventedanythingyet.”“Butyouhaveaviewofhowyourprofessionoperatesandperhapscouldoperatedifferently.Maybeyou

haveadifferentfocalpoint.”“Well,sure,Ido,butitneveroccurredtomethatpointofviewwassomethingaboutleadership.”“Yourlunchmatesthatdaymayagree.Whatdrivesyourpointofview,andhowdidyoureachit?What

wastheturningpoint,orwhathappened?Whathityou?Andwhywouldn’tyouwanttoinductothers,sotospeak,intothesametourdeforce?”

STEP2

IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters

Asaleader,youneedtounderstandtheroleofcharactersinyourstory,theroleofperceptions,whoyourprotagonistsandantagonistsare,andtheimpactyouhaveonothersandothersonyou.Whyshouldyoucareaboutsomeabstractioncalledcharacters?Becausetheyarerealandconcreteandallaroundyou.What’smore,youareoneofthemaincharacters,butnottheonlyone.

Thisaspectofyourleadershipstoryisaboutboththequalityandquantityofyourrelationships.Itisalsoimportantthatyoubuildstrongrelationshipswiththecharactersaroundyou,learnfromthem,andexpressyourgratitude.

Asaleader,youmaybecalledupontobeheroic.Youmayneedtomakedifficultdecisionsandhavedifficultconversations,tobelieveinotherswhentheydonotbelieveinthemselves,toinspireandmotivate,andtohelppeopleachievegreatnessandattaintheirfullestpotential.Buthowyoudothismakesadifference.Whenitcomestoyourpersonalleadershipstory,whoareyourheroes?Andtowhomareyouahero?

Leadershipisnotabouttellingpeoplewhattodoorhavingthemadjusttoyourstyle.Leadershipisaboutpeople.Itrequiresagreatdealofawarenessofselfandothers.Itrequiresemotionalintelligence.Emotionalintelligencereferstoyourabilitytorecognizeandconsideryouremotionsandfeelingsaswellasthefeelingsofothers.TheconceptwaspopularizedbyDanielGolemaninhisbookEmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ.5Thismaybemoreimportantthaneverforleadersinouraction-oriented,technology-basedculture.

Sure,youcanprobablygetthejobdonewithlittleattentiontothecharacters—whotheyareorwhattheyneed.Buthoweffectivewillitbe?Andcouldithavebeenalittlebetterifyouhadincludedafocusonthecharacters?Understandingthecharactersisaboutrelationships—whomyouhavethemwithandhowyoucultivatethem.Youarethemaincharacterinyourleadershipstory,butothersplayanimportantroleinyourleadershipstoryaswell.Itisprofoundlydifficulttobealeaderifnoonearoundyou—thecharacters—wantstobeledbyyou.

Whetherthroughactionorinaction,awarenessorlackofawareness,youownyourleadershipstory.Becauseoftheroleofcharacters,thechallengehereisthatyourstorycannevertrulybeself-authored.Leadersgetbetterorworseasjudgedbythosearoundthem.Youmaywellbetheprimaryauthorofyourleadershipstory,buttransformationalleadershipalsolivesintheobservations,perceptions,andinterpretationsofothers.Forexample,whatyouviewasprovidingautonomymaybeviewedbyothersasbeingdisengaged.

Stephaniewashiredrightoutofgraduateschool,whereshewasoneofthetopstudentsinhergraduatingclass.Shewasgivenleadershipresponsibilityrightaway,andshewantedtomakeagreatfirstimpression.Sheoftenworkedintotheeveningtoensurethatherworkexceededeveryone’sexpectations.Althoughshehadtheobligatoryone-to-onemeetingswithmembersofherteam,herprimaryfocuswasongettingtheworkdone.Duringofficehours,herdoorwasoftenclosedassheworkedonavarietyofprojects.Sheusuallyatelunchinherofficeandrarelysaidmorethan“Goodmorning”toherpeersandcolleagues.Whenitcametimefortheannualorganizationalclimatesurvey,shereceivedsomeofthelowestscores.Stephaniewasgettingthetaskdonewellwithoutanyconsiderationofthepeoplesheworkedwith.

Thesinglemostimportantthingyoucandotowardbecomingtheauthorofyourleadershipstoryistounderstandhowothersperceiveyourleadership.Youmaythinkyouareshowinguponewayonlytofindthatitisnotthecase.Forexample,youmaythinkyouarecomingacrossassupportiveandinvolvedinthe

details,whenyouarebeingperceivedasamicromanagerwhodoesn’ttrusthisemployees.Youshouldconsiderthedesignatedactivitiesinthisbookasstartingpointstoinvolveothersinunderstandingyourleadershipstory.Youarebestservedifyoucangatherperceptionsanonymouslytoencouragecandor.

Anotherusefultooltofacilitatethisprocessisaleadership360.Wewillhavemoreon360assessmentsin“Step4:DevelopYourTheme.”However,forthepurposesofunderstandingothers’perceptionsofyou,Iwouldencourageyoutodoa360assessmentif(a)youhaveneverdoneonebefore,(b)ithasbeenmorethantwoyearssinceyoudidone,or(c)youhavebeeninyourroleforoveroneyear.Considermakingthisimportantpulsecheckpartofyourroutineandongoingdevelopment.

Thereisasayingthatyoushouldnotjudgeabookbyitscover.Inotherwords,oneneedstotakethetimeandefforttounderstandwhatexistsbeyondthesurface.Andyet,intermsofothers’perceptions,Ihaveseenhumannatureinactionhere.Evenininstanceswhenpeopleintheworkplaceheardadetailaboutyoubutdidnotexperienceitforthemselves,theyareinclinedtocarrythataspartofyourleadershipstory.Infact,itistypicalthatwhateverthataspectofyourstoryis,theywilllikelylookforadditionaldatatovalidatewhattheyhaveheard.Andthisiswhereothers’perceptionscanbequitepowerful:theyarebecomingtheauthorsofyourleadershipstory,andyoumaynotevenbeawareofit.Thiscanworkfororagainstyou,dependingonwhatelementofyourstorypeoplehaveheard.Forthegreatestimpact,yourobjectiveshouldbetoensurethatothers’perceptionofyourleadershipstoryisalignedwithyourreality.

Yourownperceptionsofyourselfcanalsoplayacriticalroleinyourleadershipstory.Quitesimply,doyoubelieveinyourselfasaleader?Whyorwhynot?Whathashappenedtomakeyouthinkthatway?Whathasshapedyourmind-set?Howmightyounavigateanyuncertaintythatyouhave?Theobjectiveisnottooperateinadelusionalstateaboutyourcapabilitiesandthinkthatyoucanaccomplishthingsthatyoucannot.Theintentistotrulyknowyourcapabilitiesandbelieveinthem.Andwherethereisuncertainty,seektheadviceandguidanceofothers.

Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,severaldebatablequestionscenteronthecharacters.Forexample,Iamoftenasked,“Doyouhavetobelikedtobeaneffectiveleader?”“Doyouhavetobeauthentictobeaneffectiveleader?”“Doyouhavetobetrustedtobeaneffectiveleader?”Unequivocally,no.Therearemanyexamplesthroughouthistoryofleaderswhowerenotnecessarilywellliked,authentic,ortrusted.Fearmaybeaneffectiveapproachtogetresults,butdoesitcontributetoeffectiveleadership?

Thinkaboutthehumansideofleadershipratherthanthetaskside.Rememberthattheportionofyourleadershipstorydealingwithcharacterisaboutrelationships.Iftheonlypurposeweretogetresults,youwouldnotneedtoconsiderthingsliketrust,authenticity,andlikability.However,ifyourfocusincludeshowyougettheworkdone,establishingrelationships,andinspiringothers,thenyoudoneedtoconsiderthem.Characteristicsliketrust,authenticity,andlikabilitycomeintoplaywithregardtobeingrespected,relatingtoothersoraffinity,andmakinganemotionalconnection.

Agreatleadershiptactictoincreaseinvolvementandestablishstrongerconnectionswithyourcharactersistoaskthesimplequestion“Whatdoyouthink?”ThistipcomesdirectlyfromJ.W.“Bill”MarriottJr.’sbookWithoutReservations.6Askingthisshowsthatyoucareandareopentoconsideringothers’suggestionsthatmightyieldinterestinginsightsyouhadnotconsidered.Asaleader,youstillneedtomakethedecisions,andtheymayormaynotbeinlinewithwhatotherssuggested.Thekeyisthatyouengageothersintheprocess.

Aswithanystory,protagonistsandantagonistswillbepartofyourleadershipstory.Theprotagonistsareyourchampions.Moreoften,theseareestablishedleaderswithintheorganizationwhoactasyourcredibilitysubstitutes.Theyvouchforyouwhenyou’renotthere.Protagonistsdon’toftenthinkyouareperfect,buttheydobelieveinyouandyourpotential.Theyhaveyourinterestsinmindandlookforchallengingopportunitiesforyou.Theywanttoseeyougrow,develop,andsucceed.Ihavefoundthatprotagonistsoftenworkbehindthescenessupportingotherleaders.

Whywouldanyonewanttobeyourprotagonist?Andhowdoyougetmoreprotagonistsinyourleadershipstory?Unfortunately,thereisnotastandardformula.However,Ihaveseensomeconsistentcircumstanceswherepeoplearemorelikelytobeyourchampion.First,fromaprocessstandpoint,itisuncommonforanindividualtoasksomeonetobehisorherchampionorprotagonist.Overtheyears,Ihaveidentifiedsimplefactorsthatpromptpeopletowillinglybecomeone’schampionorprotagonist:capability,effort,willingnesstolearn,relatingwelltoothersoraffinity,likability,andevenhumility.Itusuallytakesacombinationofseveralofthesecharacteristics.Protagonistsimplicitlywanttoknow(a)whetheryouhavewhatittakestosucceed,(b)whethertheylikeyouenoughtowantyoutosucceed,and(c)whetheryouwillmakethem(thechampion)andtheorganizationlookgood.

Unfortunately,nearlyeverystoryhasatleastoneantagonist.Youmightbeasking,“Gee,howdoIspottheantagonistifIambusyworking?”The

antagonistisadetractor.Peoplecanshowupasantagonistsinyourleadershipstoryforanynumberofreasons.Theycanbesubordinates,peers,clients,competitorsforapromotion,orsupervisors.Theycanbeantagonistsbasedonmotivationsorperceptions,whetheraccurateornot.Intermsofmotivation,peoplemaynotwanttoseeyousucceedbecausetheybelievethatsuccessisazero-sumgame:ifyousucceed,theydon’t.Ortheirsuccessisalteredordelayed.Theymaynotwantyoutosucceedbecausetheydon’tlikeyou.Perhapsyougavesomeoneapoorperformancerating.Whetheritwasdeservedornot,ifthepersondoesn’tthinkitwasdeserved,shemayhaveitoutforyou.Thesearesimpleexamples,anditisdifficulttojudgewhysomeonewouldbeyourantagonist.Whatisimportant,though,isthatyoubeawareofwhomightbeanantagonist,andthenyoucanseektounderstandwhy.

Youcanevenbetheantagonistinyourownleadershipstory.Thiscanoccurif,forexample,youdon’tbelieveinyourself,givelittleeffort,don’tlearnandgrow,don’thonorcommitments,aredisrespectfultoothers,ordonotdowhatyousayyouwilldo.

InTheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders,authorsJohnZengerandJosephFolkmanrefertothesebehaviorsas“fatalflaws.”7Ihavealsoseenthemreferredtoas“derailers.”Itisimportantthatyoubecomeawareifyouhaveanyfatalflawsandthentakeactiontochangeorminimizethem.Notethatifyouhavehadfatalflawsthatwereuncheckedforsometime,yourleadershipstorymayhavebeenadverselyaffectedallthattime.Dependingonwhohasbeeninvolved,youmayneedtoacknowledgethebehaviorpublicly,apologizetotheindividual(s)affected,anddemonstratethatyouwillchange.

Sohowdoyoudealwithantagonistsinyourleadershipstory?Again,sincemotivations,experiences,perceptions,andsituationscanbesovaried,thereisnotasinglemagicformula.Butsomethingscanhelpmitigateantagonistsandtheirinfluence.Itbeginswithself-awareness.Youneedtobeawareofhowyoutreatotherpeopleandtheirneeds,andoftheimpactthatmayhave.Thatsoundsalotlikehavinghighemotionalintelligence,anditistrue.Alsohelpful:showeffort,demonstratefairness,don’ttrytogetaheadatothers’expense,don’ttalkbehindpeople’sbacks,andsetclearexpectations.

AndevenifyoulivebytheGoldenRule—totreatothersthewayyouwouldwanttobetreated—thatstillmaynotbeenoughtoavoidhavinganantagonist.I’mnottryingtomakeyouparanoidandthinkthatantagonistsareouttherelurkingintheshadows.I’mnotevensuggestingthateveryonehasantagonistsintheirstory.ButwhatIwouldpointoutisthatmostofthepeopleIhaveworkedwithweresurprisedtofindoutthattheyhadanantagonist.Youmightevensay

withweresurprisedtofindoutthattheyhadanantagonist.Youmightevensaythattheywerecaughtoffguard.

Ifyoudocomeacrossanantagonist,itwillbeimportantforyoutodevotesometimetorepairingthatrelationshipandunderstandingtheperson’smotivation.Wediscussthisfurtherin“Step3:PrepareforConflict,”butitisimportantthatthisnotbeleftunchecked.Antagonistscandoirreparableharmtoyourleadershipstory.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTYOURCHARACTERS1.Withwhomareyourkeyrelationshipsatwork?Whoimpactsyourabilitytodoyourbestwork,andhowdoyouimpactothers’abilitytodotheirbestwork?

2.Howcanyoubuildmoresupportersandchampionsofyourleadershipstorythandetractors?

3.Whatroledoyouplayinyourleadershipstory?Others?(Hero,villain,etc.)Why?

4.Whoareyourtrustedadvisors?5.Howwouldothersdescribeyouasaleader?Howwellisyourleadershipstoryalignedwithothers’interpretationofyourleadershipstory?

ActivitiestoIdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourCharacters

Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers

KeystoUnlockingConnections ✓ ✓

CommonGround✓

MonitortheEmotionalBankAccount ✓ ✓

BuildMentorCircles

BuildMentorCircles ✓

CommonGround✓

ThankYou!✓

KEYSTOUNLOCKINGCONNECTIONSYoumayhaveheardthesaying“Whomyouknowismoreimportantthanwhatyouknow.”Onethingisforsure:leadershipisarelationshipbusiness.Boththequalityandthequantityofrelationshipsareimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory.And,asdiscussedpreviously,alignmentmatters.

Navigatingtheorganizationalwatersandensuringabroadaudienceforyourleadershipstoryrequiresyoutohaveagoodnumberofpositiverelationships.Iamnotsuggestingthatyouhavetolikeorgetalongwitheveryone.However,youneedtobebothawareofthestatusofyourrelationships(i.e.,protagonistorantagonist)andstrategicwithkeyrelationships.

Forthisactivity,makealistofyourprotagonists/championsandantagonists/detractors,inorderofimportance.Youcanlistthosepeoplewhoareactuallyyourchampionorthosewhosesupportisimportanttoyou.Notewhyeachisanimportantrelationshipforyou,andthenwritedownwhatyouneedtodotomaintainorimprovehisorherstatustowardbeingaprotagonist.Thisshouldprovideinsightsintowhichrelationshipsyouneedtofoster.

Protagonist

Antagonist

Sinceitisunlikelythatsomeonewouldidentifyyououtrightashisorherantagonist,thevariationofthisactivityforothersistounderstandtheextenttowhichyousupportothers.Irecommendengagingabroaderaudiencethanyouidentifiedaboveforthisactivity.Includeallofyourdirectreports,abreadthofpeersfromacrosstheorganization,andyourboss.Askthemtorateonascaleof1to10(10beinghigh)howsupportiveyouaretothempersonallyortheirmission.Anythingbelowan8—somewouldsay10—requiresyourattention.Askthemhowyoucouldsupportthembetter.

COMMONGROUNDThisactivityisadaptedfromAlanGregerman’sbookTheNecessityofStrangers.8Asafollow-ontotheactivityabove,forthekeyrelationshipsyoulisted—withbothprotagonistsandantagonists—yourjoboverthenext30daysistoidentifyatleastfivenon-work-relatedthingsyouhaveincommonwitheachperson.Findingcommongroundallowsyoutoestablishstrongerrelationships,worktowardbetterresults,inspireproblemsolving,providebetterideas,andreinforceyourleadershipstory.Giveyourselffivepointsforeachpersonwithwhomyouidentifysomecommonground.

MONITORTHEEMOTIONALBANKACCOUNTThenotionofanemotionalbankaccountgainedwideattentionbybeingfeaturedinStephenCovey’sbookThe7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople.9Itiscenteredontrustandreferstothedepositsandwithdrawalsyoumaymakewitheachofyourrelationships.Depositsaretheresultofbuildingtrustbasedonbeingempathetic,payingattentiontoallaspectsoftherelationship,honoringcommitments,recognizingandapologizingininstanceswhereyoumighthavemadeawithdrawal,clarifyingexpectations,anddemonstratingrespect.Withdrawalsaretheopposite.Theyarebasedonsomethingyouhavedonetoharmtherelationshiportrust.Asayingthatcomestomindconcerningtrustandrelationshipsis“Ittakes99actstobuildtrustbutonlyonetotearitdown.”Soyoucanimaginethatyourobjectiveistomakefarmoredepositsinyouremotionalbankaccountthanwithdrawalsbecauseasinglewithdrawalcanhavelastingeffectsonarelationshipandonyourleadershipstory.

Youremotionalbankaccountexistswitheachindividual.Itisnottransferable.Anditisconstantlyevolving.However,whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,youmaybegivena“lineofcredit”basedonyourleadershipstory—perhapsbasedonhowyouareknowntotreatotherpeople.Depositsandwithdrawalscanbesmall,ortheycanbebig.

Intothefollowingform,copythenamesfromthelistsofprotagonistsandantagonistsyoumadeearlier.Notenexttoeachnamewhetheryouhaveasurplus(+)ordeficit(-)witheachindividual,andnotewhenyoumadeadepositorwithdrawal.Whatdidyoudoineachcase?Inthecaseofwithdrawals,youneedtorecognizethemandpossiblymakeanapology.

Thisactivityshouldbegiventoothersaswell.Youmaythinkyouareingreatstandingwithmanypeoplebutthenfindthatyouhavemadesomewithdrawalsthatyouwerenotawareof.Fortherelationshipsyoulistedabove,

withdrawalsthatyouwerenotawareof.Fortherelationshipsyoulistedabove,providethosepeoplewithanimaginary100coinsthattheycanallocatetoyourrelationship.Explainthat100iscompletelystrongandzeroistheweakest.Askthemtoallocatethecoinsbasedonhowstrongtheyperceivetherelationship.Anythinglessthan100indicatesthatyouhavemadeawithdrawalatsomepoint.Youmayaskthemwherewithdrawalshavebeenmadeandwhatcouldbedonetofullyreplenishthebankaccount.

BUILDMENTORCIRCLESLeadershipisprettyheadystuff.Itiscomplex.Youwilllikelybefacedwithverydifficultdecisionsforwhichyouhavelimiteddataorpersonalexperience.Youarenotalone—oratleastyoushouldn’tbe.Whileself-reflectionisagreattoolandonethatshouldbeexercisedoften,youalsoneedtrustedadvisorsyoucancallonasnecessary.

ThementorcirclesthatIammostfamiliarwithinvolvebringinginasingleleadertomentorasmallgroupofpeopleonmultipleoccasionsoversomeperiodoftime.Youcanbringinthesamementormultipletimesorrotateamongmultiplementors.Itisimportanttoprovidesomestructure.

Forthisactivity,wearegoingtomodifytheprocesstotheadvantageofyourleadershipstory.Ratherthanfindingasingleleader,yourjobistoidentifyseveralleaders(perhapsthreetofive)whocanprovidementoringandguidanceandbetrustedadviserstoyou.Acoupleofrules/tipsforthisactivity:

•Youneedtoberealisticinyouraims.Forexample,ifyouarejustbeginningyourjourneyasaleader,itmaynotberealistictohavetheCEOaspartofyourmentorcircle.

•Considerpeopleinsideandoutsideofyourcurrentorganization.Andalsoconsiderpeoplefromdifferentbackgrounds,perspectives,andpossiblyindustries.

•Keepinmindyourexistingrelationshipswiththeindividuals.Ifyoudonotknowthem,theywillbelesslikelytooffersupportandguidance,andthesupporttheydooffermaynotbeasvaluableorrelevant.

•Consideraccess.Doyouhavereadyaccesstotheindividual?•Youdon’tneedtoidentifyallofthepeopleinyourmentorcircleatthismoment—itcanandshouldevolve.

•Totheextentpossible,thisshouldbeatwo-wayrelationship;youneedtofocusonbeingagoodlistenerandonopportunitiestocontributeideasand

focusonbeingagoodlistenerandonopportunitiestocontributeideasandinsightsaboutchallengesyourmentorsarefacing.

•Providesomeclaritytotheindividualsforyourrequest.Whatareyouaskingfor?Why?

•Oncetherelationshipandexpectationsareagreedupon,avoidtoomuchstructure.Forexample,Ihaveseenstanding,recurringmeetingsfailbecausetheywereforced.Whatseemstoworkwellistoestablishsomeflexibilityforanoccasionaldiscussionasneeded.Alsorecommended:Don’ttaxthegenerosityofthementors,andexpressyourthanksfortheirinput.

THANKYOU!Gratitudeandappreciationaregivenfartoorarelyinleadershipandinlife.Infact,throughoutmycareerIhaveobservedleaderswhosoughttotakecreditratherthantogiveit.Asthesayinggoes,“Successhasmanyfathers,butfailureisanorphan.”

Let’sfaceit,wehavebeeninfluencedbyanynumberofpeoplethroughoutourcareer.Andhopefullywehaveinfluencedmanyaswell.Butthisactivityisaboutgratitudeandappreciationforthepeople(akacharacters)whohavehadapositiveimpactonyourlife.Thesearethepeoplewhohaveshownyouthewayandwhatitmeanstobeagreatleader.Ihavebeenfortunatetoencounterseveralinfluentialleaders.SomeI’vestayedintouchwithandothersIhavenot.Buttheimpactofallofthemhasbeenprofound.

Whohashadthegreatestinfluenceonyourleadership?Thisisagreatactivity,andyoushouldconsideritsapplicabilitybeyondleadership.Everydayforaweek,takeoneuninterruptedminuteandmakealistofthepeoplewhohavehadthegreatestpositiveinfluenceonyourlife.Then,nexttoeachname,notewhatyouaregratefultothepersonfor.Itdoesnothavetobeaboss;itcouldbeapeerorcolleague,adirectreport,orsomeoneoutsideofwork.

Whohasbeenmostinfluential?Whohasshapedyouasaleader?Whathavetheytaughtyouaboutleadership(orpossiblylife)?Inyourlist,includeattributesyoulearnedfromthem.Doyouhaveashortexampleorstoryofhoworwhenyoulearnedaparticularcharacteristicorskillfromthem?Asanaddedbonus,ifpossible,contacttheindividualstoletthemknowtheimpacttheyhavehadonyouandwhatyoulearnedfromthem,andthankthem.

BobTacklesHisCharacters

IpushedBobalittlemoreonhiscolleaguesatwork.“Whyweretheyhesitanttoapproachyoubeforethatfarewelllunch?Yougotalongwiththemprettywell,didn’tyou?”Iasked.

“Well,weneverhadanyarguments.Certainlywediscussedtheprosandconsofdifferentapproachestoourprojects.”

“Whenyoulaidyouropiniononthetablethosetimes,howdidtheconversationsproceed?”Ipressed.“Theconversationsdidn’tgomuchfurther,”hereplied.ThenIaskedBobatougherquestion:“Howwasyourexitinterviewwithyourboss?”“ItwasOK,Iguess,”hesaidnervously.“Wealwaysgotalongfine,goodreviews,nomajor

disagreements…andhewishedmewell.”“Didn’thehaveanypartingadvice?”Iasked.“Afterall,youwerehoursfrombeingoutthedoor.”“Yeah,hesaidhehopedItookonsomebiggerprojects,morestrategicprojects,atmynextcompany;

andmaybethosebig-pictureleadershipsuccessesmightbevaluablebackheresomeday,hesaidwithafriendlysmile.”

DoyouthinkBobhasprotagonistsandantagonists?Hemayhavehadoneprotagonist,hisboss,orhewouldn’thavelasted.Butcanyouimagineinwhichcategoryhislunchmatesfit?Hardtosay.Maybealittleofboth.Butittookafarewelllunchtogetitoutofthem.Ifnoonecaresenoughtogiveyoufeedback,youareintroubleasaleader.

Sometimesitiseasytobecomecaughtinapatternofactionortosetourselvesoncruisecontrol.Relationshipstaketimeandefforttocultivate.HadBobtakenthetimetogettoknowanyofhislunchmatesorevenhisbossatadeeperlevel,hewouldhaveenabledthemtobemorecomfortable—betteryet,morecollegial—withhim.Hemighthavegainedsignificantinsightintohowbuildingstronger,welcoming,andmorecollaborativerelationshipscouldhelphimtobecomeabetterleader.Intheend,though,noonehadcaredenoughonewayortheothertosaysomethingtohim.BobwasBob,andBobdidwellatcrankingoutprojects.Hedidwhathewassupposedtodo.Hegotstuffdone,whileothersweremoreintobiggerstuff.Itwasn’tworthittothemtospeakupuntilBobwassafelyoutthedoor.Andwhatkindofleadershipstorydidheleavebehind?Howwillheberememberedathisformerpeers’nextcasualFridaylunch?

HowmuchbetterforBob’scareer,andforhislongevityatthecompany,wouldithavebeenifhehaddonetheexercisesinthisstepandspenttimeonthereflectivequestionsandactivities?

QuickTips

ToEstablishStrongCharacters

1.Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyou

1.Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameasordifferentlythanleadersyouknowhavedone.

2.Proactivelybuildpositiverelationshipsandexpressgratitude.3.Identifyandseekinputandguidancefromtrustedadvisors.

STEP3

PrepareforConflict

Conflicthappens.Anditwouldbehardtoimagineastorywithoutanyconflict.Theinitialimpressionofconflictisthatitisastruggle.Whenwereadorwatchstories,sometimesitisthatstrugglethatcreatesasenseofadventureandexcitement.Itoftendrawsusin.Eveninourownlives,lookingbackonconflictcangiveusasenseofexcitementorpride—pridethatweovercamethechallenge.

Twosayingscometomindwithregardtoconflict.Thefirstisthatconflictdoesnotbuildcharacter;conflictrevealsit.Inotherwords,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictsaysalotaboutyou.Doyouletitconsumeyou?Doyoutakeoutyouranxietiesonothers?Ordoyougowiththeflow?Whatisyourmind-setandapproachwhenitcomestoconflict,struggle,andadversity?

Thesecondsayingisthatitisaboutthejourney,notthedestination.Youarecertaintorunintochallenges,obstacles,andconflictalongtheway.Inmanycases,theywillbeunexpected.Howareyoupreparedtodealwithsuchconflict?Ifconflictdoeshappen,whatcanyoulearnfromit?Andhowcanyoubebetterpreparedforanyunanticipatedfuturechallenges?

Conflictvariesindegreeandeffect.Asaleader,youcanexperiencearangefromsmallconflictsorsetbacksallthewaythroughlarger,morecriticalconflicts.Additionally,therearemultipletypesofconflict.Onthenegativeside,youcanexperienceinterpersonalconflictorconflictwithtasks.Youmayalsoexperienceinternalconflict,whereyoustruggledeeplywithwhoyouareasaleader.Youwillhaveopportunitiestoexploreeachtypeofstrugglelaterinthisstep.

Interpersonalconflictisbetweenyouandanotherindividualormultipleindividuals.Itisoftenbasedonafundamentaldifferenceinopinion,philosophy,personality,ormotivation.Forexample,supposeyouhavetwopeerswhoarebothinlineforasinglepromotion.Inherently,thatmaycreateconflictofinterest;shapetheirmotivations;oraffecthowtheyacttowardoneanother(e.g.,

competitiveversuscollaborative),asintakingandgivingcredit,and,mostimportant,inarticulatingeachother’sleadershipstory.Inthiscase,howeachhandlestheconflictiscriticaltothelong-termrelationship.Asaleader,youhavetohelpensurethatneitherindividualpermanentlydamagestherelationship.Thismayrequireconsiderablepatienceandcommunication.

Conflictwithtasksmaybebasedonresourcesorskills.Forexample,doyouhavetheskillsorresourcestogetaparticulartaskdone?Isthetimelinefeasibleornot?Thistask-focusedconflictwillhaveadirectimpactonyourleadershipstory.Howdoyouarticulatethechallenge?Doyoubringsolutionstobearormerelyidentifytheproblems?Doyouhaveacan-doattitudeoracan’t-doone?Thisisanotherplacewhereadversitydoesnotjustbuildyourleadershipstorybutrevealsit.

Notallconflictisnegative.Conflictcansometimesbethesourceofgreatideas.Infact,ifyouarealeaderputtingtogetherateam,youwillbebetterservedbyidentifyingteammemberswithopposingviewpointsthanbyassemblingagroupoflike-mindedindividuals.Althoughtheprocessinthiscasecanbechallengingattimes,theteam’soutputislikelytobebetterandmoreinnovative.

Theobjectivehereisforyoutobuildyourawarenessaboutthesourcesofconflictandhowyourespondtoconflictasaleader.Itrequiresawarenessaboutthesituationsthatcauseconflict,yourpreferredorcomfortableresponse,andtheimpactthatyourresponsehasonothersaroundyou.Forsome,thismayrequireashiftinmind-set.Forexample,whenyouarefacedwithconflict,doesyourinnervoiceormind-setpositionyouasthehero?Thevictim?Animpostororfraud?Doyouhaveabring-it-onmentalityoranit’ll-never-workmentality?Doyoubelieveinyourselfandfeelthatyouhavetheabilitytoprevailovertheconflict?Itellmykids,ifyoubelievethatyoucan’tdosomething,thenthat’sprobablygoingtobetrue.

Youwanttobuildthisconflict-managementcapability—andyourmind-set—justasyouwouldbuildamuscle.Startwithsmallwins.Ifyouhaveneverbeenaleaderbefore,leadaportionofameetingorproject.Askforsomeguidanceinitially,butbeopentofiguringitoutforyourself.Andmostimportant,giveyourselfagradeandaskothersforfeedback.Ifindthatmostleaderswhohaveanegativemind-sethavetriedorbeenaskedtotrydoingthingsthatweremorethanastretch,havenotbeengivenproperguidanceorresources,orhavenotreceivedfeedbackalongthewayorattheend.Sucheventsshouldbeviewedasaprescriptiveorasaguideforfutureactions.

Imentionedearliertheissueoffeelinglikeanimpostor.Sometimesleaders

haveaninwardstrugglewithwhotheyareasaleadereventhoughtheyareinaleadershipposition.AcommonexampleiswhatIcalltheimpostorphenomenon,inwhichsomeleadersfear,perhapsunconsciously,thattheymightbeexposedasaleadershipimpostor.Nowthatisabigconflictissueinanyleadershipstory.

Experienceisagreataidfordealingwithconflictoradversity.Themoreexperienceyouhave,themorecomfortableandconfidentyouarewithconflict.Youalsohaveawiderlenswithwhichtounderstandthevarioussolutionsavailable.Sinceyoucan’tcreateexperienceonthespot,asurrogateisyourmentorcircle.Ifyouhavetheluxuryoftimeinrespondingtoaparticularsituation,howwouldtheindividualsinyourcirclehandleit?Whatadvicecantheyshare?Itisofcourseuptoyouwhetheryoutaketheadvice,buthavingmultipleperspectivesoutsideofyourownwillallowyoutobroadenyourthinking.

Understandingandpreparingforconflicthasalottodowithself-awareness.Whatbothersyouorcausesyouconflict?Andhowdoyoufeelaboutit?Youmaythinkthatsoundstootouchy-feely,butfranklyalackofself-awarenesswillleaveyouunprepared.Itmaycauseyoutoreactinunproductivewaysthatdamagerelationshipsandultimatelyyourleadershipstory.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTCONFLICT1.Whathavebeenrecurringcausesofconflictforyouasaleader(e.g.,typesoftasks,people,situations)?

2.Whatisyourroleinconflict?3.Howdoyoutypicallyreactto,respondto,orhandleconflict?Howresilientareyou?Whatwouldotherssayabouthowyouhandleconflict?

4.Whatisyourapproach,outlet,ormechanismforprocessingconflictconstructively?

5.Howdoyouresolveconflict?Whatimpactdoesthishaveonyourrelationships?Yourabilitytogetthejobdone?

Peggywasalwaysskepticalofherabilitytoleadothers.Hersupervisorsbelievedinherabilities,soshecontinuedtogetincreasingleadershipresponsibilities.Littledidanyoneknowthateachadditionalleadershipresponsibilitypromptedanewsetofdoubtsandfearsinheraboutherabilitytobeaneffectiveleader.Shefeltasthoughthecurtainwasgoingtobepulledbackatanytimeandshewouldbefoundoutasafraud.

Oneday,Peggyranintoaformerboss,Kristine,whomsheadmiredasagreat

Oneday,Peggyranintoaformerboss,Kristine,whomsheadmiredasagreatleader.Peggycasuallymentionedthatshedidn’tknowifshewantedtobealeaderanymore.Shemissedbeingmoreofanindividualcontributorasatechnicalexpert.Butshealsofeltthattherewasnogoingback.

Kristinewantedtoknowmoreandinvitedhertolunchthefollowingweek.TheyspentthewholelunchdiscussingwhyPeggyfeltthiswaydespitehavingapositivetrackrecordandreputationasaleader.IttookseveralconversationsforPeggytorealizethatnoleaderisperfect,andsheeventuallycametolookatthepositiveimpactshewashavingontheteam,howsheengagedherteam,andthepositiveresults.Overtime,sheshiftedherperspectivefromself-doubttooneofcontinuousself-development.Peggylearnedhowtohandletheleadershipconflictshehadhadwithherself.

ActivitiestoBeReadyforConflict

Conflictcantakemanyshapesandbeminorormajor.Aswiththeotheraspectsofyourleadershipstory,developingyourawarenessofwhatcausesconflictandhowyoureacttoitisanimportantstepinenablingyoutohandleconflictinthefuture.Itcanbechallengingbecauseourbrainsarewiredforfightorflight,andneitherofthoseapproachesmaybesuitableforyourleadershipstory.Theactivitiesdescribedbelowprovidewaysforyoutoreflectonhowyoucurrentlyhandleconflict,aswellastoprepareforhowyouwouldliketohandleitinthefuture.ThefirstthreeactivitieswereadaptedfromaneHowarticlebyCarriePerlestitled“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities.”10

Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers

TheI’sHaveIt✓

What’sHappening?✓

LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFuture ✓ ✓

WhatItTakes✓ ✓

TheHeartofInnovation✓

THEI’SHAVEITConflictisoftenbasedondifferencesofopinionandperspectiveamongmultiplepeople.Toooften,westrivetopullothersovertoourside.Thereiscertainlyatimeandaplaceforthat.Ontheotherhand,empathy,orputtingyourselfinothers’shoes,isoftenthelastthingonourmindduringaconflict.Thisactivityisaboutshiftingtoamoreempatheticmind-set.

Theactivityhighlightsconflictbetweentwoindividuals.Ittendstoyieldthebestresultswhenbothpartiesrecognizethatconflictexistsandarewillingandopentoresolvingit.However,youcanconductitasanindividualactivitytohelpyoubuildamind-setofempathy.Forthisactivity,yourjobistoreframeeverythingaroundtheconflictfrom“you”to“I.”“You”messagescancomeoffascondescendingornegative,andtheycanbeineffective.Forexample,insteadofstatementssuchas“Youshould…”or“Whydidyou…,”reframethestatementsothatitrelatestoyourownfeelings.Forexample,youmightsay,“IfeelXwhenyou…”

Whenyoucompletetheactivityasanindividualexercise,youwillbegintonoticeagreaterself-awarenessaboutsourcesofconflictandhowyoufeelaboutthem.Thatisthepathwaytobeingbetterpreparedforaction.Italsoallowsyoutobetterrespondtofutureconflictratherthanreactingtoit.

WHAT’SHAPPENING?Youcanlearnalotfromstories—notjustyourown(andothers’)leadershipstories,butalsocurrenteventsandhistory.Examiningnewsstoriesgivesyouanopportunitytothinkabouthowyouwouldhandleconflict.

Forthisactivity,makealistofcurrenteventsinvolvingaconflictbetweentwoormoreindividualsorgroups.Makeanoteabouthoweachsideattemptedtosolveit,aswellashoweffectivelythosemethodsworked.Payparticularattentiontoyourreactiontotheconflict,asitmayindicateinsightsaboutyourvalues.Forthesecondpartoftheactivity,considerhowyourobservationsofthewaytheconflictplayedoutmightinfluenceyourabilitytohandleconflicteffectively.

Howistheapproachtakenfromthecurrenteventapplicabletothewaysyoumighthandleconflict?

LEARNFROMTHEPAST,COMMITTOTHEFUTUREStrugglesareaninherentpartofstoriesaswellasleadership.Itisnotamatterofifyouwillexperienceconflictasaleader,itisamatterofwhenandwhatyouwilldotoprepareforitandlearnfromit.

Therearethreepartstothisactivity.Forpartone,firstthinkaboutandlistthelastthreetimesyouhadapersonalconflict,somethingunexpectedlycameup,oryouworkedonadifficulttaskorproject.Beasspecificaspossible.Considernotonlywhatthesituationwasbutalsowhatitwasaboutthesituationthattroubledyou.

Next,makeanoteofhowyoureactedtoit.Whatwereyournonverbalandverbalreactions?Howdidtheconflictmakeyoufeel?

Tocloseoutthefirstpartoftheactivity,writedownwhatyoudid.Howdidyouinteractwithortreatpeople(e.g.,active,passive;proactivelyaddress,ignore)?Howdidyouhandlethetask(e.g.,tryagain,enlistothers,giveup;takeresponsibility,defer)?

Forthesecondpartoftheactivity,askmultipleindividualstoidentifyasituationinwhichyoufacedconflict,gradeyouonhowyouresponded,andnotetheimpact(high,medium,orlow)thatyourresponsehadonthemorothers.Theircommentsmayrevealwaysinwhichyouarenotawareofsituations,yourresponse,ortheimpactofyourresponse.

Whatdoesthissayaboutyourinnervoice,mind-set,andself-awarenesswithregardtoconflict?Forthethirdpartoftheactivity,makeacommitmenttoyourselfregardinghowyouwishtohandleconflictthenexttimeitarises.Whatwouldyoudothesameordifferentlyifasimilarsituationpresenteditself?Keepinmind,thistakesself-awareness,andittakespractice.Allowyourselftimetodevelopthisskilljustasyouwouldamuscle.Youmaynotgetitperfectlythenexttimeconflictarises,butyouwillmovetowardareactionthatbettersupportsyourdesiredleadershipstory.Andasanaddedbenefit,youwillbeonyourwaytobuildingstrongerrelationships.

CommitmentThenexttimeIamfacedwithasimilarconflictinthefuture,Iwill…

WHATITTAKESInorderforyoutomanageconflictinawaythatiscomplementarytoyourleadershipstory,youhavetobetterunderstandtheskillsrequiredforconflictmanagementandwhereyoustandrelativetothoseskills,andyouneedaplanofactiontocontinuetodevelopyourconflict-managementskills.Thegreateryourself-awarenessandthemoreplanningyoudo,themorelikelyitisthattherewillbeatrainingeffectandyouwillrespondto,ratherthanreactto,conflict.

Forthefirststep,writedowntheskillsnecessarytomanageconflictinyourorganization.Ifyouareuncertainwhatthoseskillsare,Iencourageyoutotakeoneoftwoapproaches.First,overashortperiodoftime—nomorethanamonth—observehowdifferentpointsofviewareexpressedinmeetingsandanyotherinterpersonalinteractions.Alternatively,youmightcheckanycompetencymodelsyourorganizationhasandlookforthebehavioralindicatorsforconflictmanagement,collaboration,communication,orarelatedskill.Keepinmindthatthelatterapproachstatestheidealandmaynotrepresenthowconflictisactuallyaddressedwithintheorganization.Itisimportantforyoutounderstandhowconflictworksinyourorganization.However,ifneitheroftheaboveisavailableoryieldsusefulresults,anotheroptionistoresearchgenericconflict-managementskills.

Next,rateyourselfonascaleof1to5(1beinglow),relativetothoseskills.Foranythingthatyouratebelowa4,youshouldhaveaspecificdevelopmentplanforhowyouaregoingtoimprovethatskill.Foranythingrateda4ora5,youmaywanttonotewhatyouneedtodotomaintainthatcapabilityandpossiblytoteachittoothers.

Thisactivitylendsitselfnicelytovalidationfromothers.Providethemwiththesameworksheetbelow.Askthemtoidentifytheskillsnecessaryforconflictmanagement;itwillshowwhetheryouarealignedinthoseobservations.Askthemtoratehowyoudowiththoseskills,andgettheirinputforwhatyoucoulddobetter.

THEHEARTOFINNOVATIONNotallconflictisbad.Infact,differencesofopinioncanbeattheheartofsomegreatoutputsandinnovations.Thinkaboutit.Ifyouhaveagroupoflike-mindedindividualswithnodisagreements,youarenotlikelytochallengetheconventional.Althoughtheprocesstoreachfinalitymighthavebeenasmootherone,theoutputmaybeinferior.

Severalyearsago,Iwasbroughtintoafinancialservicesorganizationtoreviewavirtualteamthathadjustdeliveredoneofthebestreturnsoninvestmentforafinancialproductthatthecompanyhadeverseen.Forthem,“virtual”didnotsimplymeanthattheteamwasgeographicallydispersed;italsorepresentedthefluidityofteammembers.Theteamcomprisedleadersandsubject-matterexpertsfromacrossvariousinternaldepartments.Therewasunlimitedpotentialforterritoriality,disagreement,andconflict.Butnoneofthatbecameadistractionfortheteam.Seniorleaderswantedtoknowwhathadcontributedtotheeffectivenesssothattheycouldreplicateit.Asitturnedout,oneofthemostimportantaspectscontributingtotheteam’ssuccesswasthedifferencesamongthemembers.

Thinkabouthowyouhaveutilizedorcouldutilizeindividualdifferencesconstructively.Whataresomespecificsituationsthathavebenefitedorcouldbenefitfrommultipleperspectives?Whatcanyoudotofostertheencouragementofmultipleperspectives?Whatarethechallengesoffacilitatingmultipleperspectives?Howcouldyoubepreparedandovercomesomeofthesechallenges?

BobContemplatesConflict

Bobseemstohaveavoidedmuchconflict,includingthegoodstuffthatcomesfromsuchdifferencesasexperiencedbythefinancialservicesteamdescribedabove.Hislonerangerposturewasstrongenoughtodiscouragedisagreement,andhenevermovedfromsimplestaffmanagementintoarealstrategicteamleadershiprole.

“Bob,describeconflicttome.Isitsomethingtobeavoidedatallcost?”Iaskedhim.“Well,conflictisadistraction,Tim.IthinkIavoidit.Ijustwanttogetthingsdone.Iknowhowtoapply

whatIknowto‘nodrama’management.”“Soletmeaskyouthis,”Isaid.“Didyoueverinvitetheotherprojectleaderstohavesortofageneric

meeting,alearningorsharingsession,abouttypicalprojectmanagementproblems,youknow,whatevertheusualstuffis,justtoseehowtheyhandledsuchthings—suchasconflictinginformation,orconflictingapproaches,orconflictwithmanagementabove?Didyouevernoticetheothers,likethepeopleatyourlunch,goingofftoameetingroom?”

“No,Ican’tthinkofatime…no,Idon’trecallthat,”heansweredsheepishly.“Itmightbethatnoonewantstotanglewithyourexpertise,oryourviewofyourexpertise.Butmaybe

someonenoticedtheirinterestingenericproblemsolving,andoneortwogotabigpromotion.Continuebouncingaroundcompaniesorlearnhowtodealwithconflict,Bob.It’sthere,outsideofusandsometimesinsideofus.Inlife,threethingsarecertain:death,taxes…andconflict.Weallneedtodealwithit,includingourconflictingviewsofourselves.”

QuickTips

ToPrepareforConflict

1.Conflictisinevitable.Perhapsmorethanresults,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictoradversitywilldefineyouasaleader.

2.Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflict

2.Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflictconstructively.

3.Beproactiveinrespondingtoconflict.Itmaynotcomenaturallyorcomfortably,butifyoucanhandleconflictwell,itwillgreatlyhelpyourleadershipstoryandbuildpositiverelationships.

STEP4

DevelopYourTheme

Thethemeofaleadershipstoryisaboutcharacteristicsandcompetence.Itiswhatyoudowellandperhapsnotsowell,and,onceagain,self-awarenessofitisessential.Self-awarenessandacceptanceofboundariesisthepathwaytofreedom.Knowingyourabilitiesandevenyourlimitations–regardingwhatyouarecapableof,interestedin,andwillingtodo–canbequiteliberating.

Let’scomparethethemeofyourleadershipstorytobooks,movies,orevenbrandedproducts.GeorgeOrwell’sclassic1984wasabouttotalcontrolandhowBigBrotherusedlanguagetodeceivepeopleabouthiscontrol.11That’showwerememberthebookandthetwomoviesmadefromit.ThethemeofthemovieJawsisabouthowacommunityworkedtogether,ordinarypeopleandacoupleofcharacters,todefeatthesourceofasummerdisaster.Whenthekeycharacterswereonafishingboatsearchingforthesharkandsawitforthefirsttime,theyrealizedthattheirboatwasnotgoingtobesufficienttocatchit.Theydidnothavetheneededcapabilitiesorresourcestoaccomplishtheirmission.That’showwethinkofitandhowwe,too,mightsomedayneedabiggerboat.WhenwethinkofCNN,wethinkofconstantnewscoveragearoundtheworld.WhenwethinkofGoogle,wethinkofasearchtoolthatseemstounderstandhowwethinkandwanttosearch.So,ifyouleftyourcurrentcompany,howwouldthosefolksthinkofyou?Whatwouldbetheirtop-of-mindrecollectionofyou?That’sthethemeofyourleadershipstory.

Theacceptanceofourlimitationsopensthepathtoleadership.InhisbookLongWalktoFreedom,NelsonMandelanotesthatitiswhatwemakeoutofwhatweare,notwhatwearegiven,thatseparatesonepersonfromanother.12So,ifwearealldifferent,ourthemesvary.Asaleader,youneedtobeparticularlycarefultoavoidbeingsomethingyouarenot.Yourthemeisagreatsourceofcredibilityinyourleadershipstory.

Icannotthinkofaleaderwhoknowsmorethaneverybodyelseinallaspects

ofthebusiness.That’snottosaytherearen’tleaderswhothinktheyknowmorethaneverybody.SomeofthebestleadersI’veworkedwithaskquestionsmorethantheygivedirectionanddonotassumethattheyhavealltheanswers.Andhereistheimportantpart:theylisten.Theyhaveopinionsandcanmakedecisions,tobesure,buttheyengageothersintheprocess.

However,themeismorethanwhatyouknow.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,themecomprisesyourpersonalitycharacteristics,attitude,technicalskills,andinterpersonalskills.Thereareavarietyofleadershipcompetencymodels.Iamnotadvocatingoneovertheother,asmanyhavetheirmerits.Iencourageyoutobeawareofyourleadershipskills,aswellasotherkeytechnicalskills.However,thereisafinebalancebecauseleadershipisaboutmovingbeyondthetechnicalskills.Youmustletgoofyourexpertiseandcomfortzoneinordertotrulyembraceleadership.

Yourroleasaleaderistobeawareoftheskills,characteristics,andattributesthatareimportantforleadershipinyourorganization,andtoknowhowyouaredoingrelativetothem.Isleadershiponlyaboutwhatisaccomplished,ordoeshowtheworkisaccomplishedmatter?Thefirstisaboutchurningouttasks,projects,andinitiatives.Iamnotsuggestingthattheworkisnotimportant.However,whenitcomestobeingaleader,theworkitselfisonlypartoftheequation.Howtheworkisaccomplishedisalsoimportant.And,perhapsmostimportant,whataretheskillsandcharacteristicsrequiredforboth?Tobeaneffectiveleaderandcraftacompletestory,youneedboth.Asleaders,wearegenerallyheldaccountableforaccomplishingtasks—highquality,ontime,onbudget,andsoon—andyoualwaysneedtokeeppeopleinmind.

Asagoodleader,youneedtorecognizethatdifferentpeoplerequiredifferentapproachestoleadershipthatmayrequireyoutohaveadifferentlevelofemotionalintelligenceandanadaptableskillset.Forexample,mostleadersareinclinedtoleadastheywouldwanttobeled.Someteammembersmaypreferdirectionandguidancetoautonomy.Withoutthisawareness,youractionsmaybeinterpretedquitedifferentlythanyouintended.

Forexample,oneleaderIworkedwith,Bill,wasastrongadvocateofdelegatingdownasfaraspossible.Thiswasthemanifestationofhisvalueoftrustingtheexpertsonhisteam.Italmostbackfiredinhisleadershipstory.Billregularlyreviewedandtrackedhiscompany’sfinancialstatements,ashethoughtheshould.Buthealsohadstaffmemberswhowerededicatedtothefinancialoperationsofthebusiness.AtameetingwhereBillwasnotinvolved,aleaderoutsideofBill’sdepartmentaskedifhewasawareofthecurrentfinancialreports.Histeammemberwhowasresponsibleforfinancialoperationsresponded,“Billdoesnotgetinvolvedinthedetails.”

responded,“Billdoesnotgetinvolvedinthedetails.”Well,thatquicklybecamepartofBill’sleadershipstorywhetherhelikeditor

not.Andeventhoughhehadheardthatnotbeinginvolvedinthedetailshadbecomepartofhisstoryandwasactivelytryingtocorrectthatperception,ittookhimalmostayeartochangethataspectofhisstory.Inlife,stufflingers.OneofthelessonsBilltookawayfromtheexperiencewastofullyunderstandwhattheorganizationbelievedwasimportant,notjustwhathevaluedasaleader.

Hisstorywasbeingwrittenbasedontheneedsofothersratherthanonhisbeliefsoractions.Leftasitwas,thiscouldhavederailedBillandunderminedhisintendedleadershipstoryoreventhestoryhethoughthewasprojecting.Hewasfortunatethathereceivedfeedbackaboutthisnewelementofhisleadershipstory.

Theothercriticalaspectofthemerelativetoyourleadershipstoryisfeedback.Youmustseekfeedbackabouthowwellyouaredoing.Thestoryaboveillustratesjusthoweasyitistothinkyouaredoingwellinanareawhensomeone,somewhereelseintheorganization,doesnot.Youmightbeshowingup(a)differentlythanyouthinkyouareand(b)differentlyamongdifferentgroups.Soitisnotenoughtohavetheskillstobealeader;onceagain,yourstoryissubjecttotheinterpretationsofothers.Personally,Iwouldratherknowthisthannotknowit,sothatIcantakeactiontobeaware,asaleader,ofhowmythemeisshowingup.

Althoughtherearemanywaystogetfeedbackonyourleadershipskills,characteristics,andtraits,Ihavefoundthatthebestapproachtofeedbackforleadersisa360assessment.Itshouldbeconductedanonymouslyforthemosthonestfeedback.Thisisausefulleadershipdevelopmenttoolthatcanallowyougreaterinsightsintohowavarietyofothers(directreports,boss,peers,andcustomers)thinkyouaredoingasaleader.Itisusefultomapyourperceptionsagainsttheirstodeterminewheretheremightbedissonanceandwhereyoumightprioritizedevelopmentofyourleadershipskills.

Iwashavingaconversationwithoneleader,Barry,whowasadirectorinhiscompany.Ifyouhadaskedhimhowhewasdoingontheleadershipandtechnicalfronts,hewouldhavegivenhimselfstraightA’s.Hethoughthewasdoingexceptionallywellinallcategories.Hethoughthewasanexcellentleaderknownforresultsandprovidingpeoplewithlittledirectionandmuchautonomy.Hethoughthewasahands-offleaderknownfortakinginitiativeandgettingthejobdone.

ButBarryreceivedfeedbackindicatingthathewasperceivedbyothersasarenegadetypewhowasoverconfidentandoftenrolledoverpeopleinmeetings.

renegadetypewhowasoverconfidentandoftenrolledoverpeopleinmeetings.Someofhisdirectreportsfeltthathewasnotinterestedinthem.

Barrywentintopanicmode.Hedidnotwanttobeperceivedthatwayatall.Heknewthiswasnotgoingtobeturnedaroundovernight.Itwouldrequiretimeandconsciouseffort.First,heacceptedthefeedback.Second,hecameupwithaplan,whichbeganwithlettinghisteammembersknowthatherecognizedthisperceptionandwasgoingtochange.Heaskedfortheirhelpandspecificallyencouragedthemtotellhimifhewasgoingintothenegativeland.Hemadeitapointtoseeeveryonefromhisteameveryday—nottocheckuponthembuttocheckinwiththem,toaskhoweachwasdoing.Ashegottoknowthem,helearnedmoreabouttheirgoalsandwhathecoulddotosupportthem.Hewasabletoassignpeopletoprojectsthatmatchedtheirinterests,capabilities,andgoals.

Ittookalmostninemonthsandmanynewhabits,butBillknewhewasvieweddifferentlywhenhegotfeedbackthatthereweretwopeoplewhowantedtotransferontohisteambecausetheyheardhewasagooddeveloperofothers.

Formanyleaders,theresultsofa360assessmentprovidemanyinsightsintotheirleadershipstory.Theresultshelptominimizeblindspots.Ifpossible,asabestpractice,trytocompletea360approximatelyevery18months.Eighteenmonthscanbealongtimetowaitforfeedback,sointheactivitiessection,youwillfindapproachestogetfeedbackonamuchmoreimmediateandroutinebasis.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTPLOT1.Whatareyouknownforasaleader(skills,behaviors,attitudes)?2.Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?3.Whatareyourstrengthsandareasfordevelopmentasaleader?4.Whattraits,behaviors,andcharacteristicsareyoumostproudofasaleader?5.Howdoyoucontinuouslydevelopyourselfasaleaderandteachothers?

ActivitiestoDevelopYourTheme

Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers

GiveYourselfaGrade

✓ ✓

GreatestHits(andMisses)✓

KeepaDiary✓

MovingOn✓

TheMirror✓ ✓

GIVEYOURSELFAGRADEFeedbackcanbedifficulttocomeby.Foraleader,honest,candidfeedbackcanbeevenmoredifficulttocomeby.Butfeedbackiscriticalforcoursecorrectionandcontinuousdevelopment.Asaquickwaytogetfeedback,Iencourageleaderstogivethemselvesagrade,justasiftheywereinschool,AthroughF.Ofcourse,theassumptionisthatyouwillbehonestwithyourself.Andweknowthatself-reportdatahasitslimitations.Butitisastepintherightdirectionifdonehonestly.

Thiskindoffeedbackcanbedoneonavarietyoftopics.Forexample,youcangiveyourselfagradeforhowyoudeliveredapresentation,howyougavefeedbacktoanemployee,howyouinteractedwithyourboss,oranynumberofoccurrencesthroughouttheday.Youcangiveyourselfagradeforthedayforhowwellyoudidoverallasaleader.

Thekeytothisistoincludeinyourthoughtprocesswhyyouaregivingyourselfaparticulargrade.WhatdidyoudotodeservethatAorCorwhichevergradeyouearned?Andyourcriteriashouldspannotjustwhatyouthinkbutalsohowyouthinkothersreactedtoitandhowitwasviewedwithinthecontextoftheorganization.Tocloseouttheactivity,askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameordifferentlyinthefuture.

Therearetwovariationsonthisexercise.Thefirstisthatyouasksomeoneelsetogiveyouagradeandexplainwhyyouearnedthatgrade.Itisoftendifficulttoputpeopleonthespotforsomepotentiallydifficultconversations.

Butifyouareopenaboutgivingyourselfagradefirstandarereasonablycritical,youmightcreatealevelofcomfortandwillingnessforotherstoprovideyouinput.Startbysayingwhatgradeyougaveyourselfandwhy.Therealbenefithereisthatyouareshowingsomehumilityandvulnerabilityasaleaderandanopennesstoreceivingfeedback.

Thesecondvariation,amuchmoreconservativeapproach,istogiveothersagrade.Irecommenddoingthisinternally—meaninginyourownmind—andbeingthoughtfulaboutthecriteriayouusedtogivethegrade.Whydidyougivethemaparticulargrade?Whatwouldyouhavedonedifferently?Whatcanyoulearnfromthem?Usingthisactivity,youcanlearnagreatdealfromothers.

GREATESTHITS(ANDMISSES)Yourleadershipstorytothispointhaslikelybeenfilledwithupsanddowns,hitsandmisses,successesandfailures.Youhavetheopportunitytolearnfromboththepositiveandnegativeexperiences.Forthisactivity,writedownyourgreatesttwoorthreehits.Theseareprofessionalorpersonalaccomplishmentsthatsaysomethingaboutyouasaperson.Describetheaccomplishments.Whatmadethemgreat?Andwhatdidyoulearn?

Dothesameforyourgreatestmisses.Whatwasyourgreatestdisappointment?Whatmadeitso?Whatwasyourroleintheseexperiences?Beasspecificaspossible,andthinkabouttheturningpointsforeach,whatyourrolewas,andwhatyouwoulddothesameanddifferentlyinthefuture.

GreatestHits

Whattwoorthreethingswouldyoudothesameiffacedwithasimilaropportunity?Why?

Whattwoorthreethingswouldyoudodifferentlyiffacedwithasimilaropportunity?Why?

KEEPADIARYAsaleader,youarelikelyinvolvedinanumberofprojectsthroughouttheyear.Someleadersmaybeinvolvedinsomanyprojectsthattheycannotrememberthemall.Insomecases,youmaybedefined,andyourleadershipstorymaybewritten,byyoursuccessandfailures.

Forthisactivity,youshouldkeeparunninglistoftheprojectsyouworkedonthroughouttheyear.Althoughyoucanadapttheheadingsthatyoutrack,thinkaboutincludingtheprojectname,aone-ortwo-sentencedescription,yourrole,thedates,andanythingelsenotable,suchasoutcomes,awards,orrecognition.Thinkaboutthisintermsofwhatyoudid,whatyoulearned,andwhatyoutaught.

Thiswillgreatlyhelpyoutorecalltheworkyouhavebeenpartof,accomplishments,andanylessonslearned.Itisimportantbecauseifyoucan’trecallwhatyouhaveworkedonandwhereyouhaveaddedvaluetothebusiness,youcan’texpectotherstoremembereither.Thisalsobecomesausefultoolforyourannualperformanceevaluation.

Additionally,itprovidesagoodcheckandbalanceforyourinvolvementasaleader.Ifyoufindthatyourlistisrunninglow,lookforwaystogetmoreinvolved.Ifthereistoomuchonyourlist,lookforwaystoengageothersinsomeprojects.Itwillgivethemexposureandexperience,andyouwillbeviewedasadeveloperofothers.

MOVINGONYourcareerisajourneyduringwhichyouwillimpactandbeimpactedbymanypeople.Youwillalsolearnalotalongtheway,andhopefullyyouviewtheimpartingofknowledgeaspartofyourroleasleader.Whetheryouarechangingjobswithinthesameorganization,movingtoaneworganization,orretiring,whatdoyouwantyourlegacytobeasyoutransitionfromoneplacetothenext?Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?Let’shopethatthemeispositive.

Thisactivityisaboutawarenessandplanning.Forthisactivity,imaginethatyouaretransitioningoutofyourcurrentrole.Youhaveaskedacolleaguewhoknowsyouwelltogiveashortspeechatyourfarewellreception.

•Whatdoyouwanthimorhertosayaboutyou?•Whatdoyouwanttobeknownforasaleader?•Whereisitmostimportantthatyoubesuccessfulasaleader?Asaperson?•Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywillyoubemostproudofiftheycometofruition?

•Wherewouldyouhavethegreatestregretsifthatpartofyourleadershipstorywereleftunfulfilled?

storywereleftunfulfilled?

Tomakethisactivityreal,considerwritingoutyourfarewellspeechinfewerthan500words.Doesyourspeechchangeifitisforyourretirement?Doesyourspeechchangeifitisattheendofyourlife?Yourlegacyspansmorethanwork,andIencourageyoutothinkaboutthebroaderlegacyyouwishtoleave.Whatareyoudoingtocontributetoyourlegacy?Whatspecificactionsdoyouneedtotaketobuildthelegacyyouwishtohave?Inthespacebelow,bespecific,andbeconcise.

THEMIRRORWhenyoulookinthemirror,whatdoyousee?Whatifthemirrordisplaysonlyskillsandabilitiesratherthanphysicalattributes?Nowwhatdoyousee?Whatdoothersseewhentheylookatyou?

ThisactivityisadaptedfromArneson’sBootstrapLeadership.Hestatesthatpeoplecarryaroundyourbrandinafewwords.Inthefirstcolumnbelow,infivetosevenwords,writethewordsyouwouldusetodescribeyourselfasaleader.Inthesecondcolumn,writedownfivetosevenwordsforhowyouthinkotherswoulddescribeyourleadershipstyle.Andinthethirdcolumn,writedownfivetosevenwordstodescribeyouridealleadershipstyle.

Now,withoutsharingyourlist,askseveralothersfromavarietyofgroupstodescribeyouasaleaderinfivetosevenadjectives.

Howwouldyoudescribemeasaleader?

Whenyoulookacrossallthreeofyourcolumns,whatstandsout?Aretheremoresimilaritiesordifferencesacrossthecolumns?Whatisthedifferencebetweenyourperceptionsandothers’?Whyisthereadifference?Whatarethedifferencesbetweenyourcurrentleadershipandyouridealleadership?Why?Whatareyoupreparedtodoaboutit?

InordertobecometheidealleaderIwanttobe,Iwill…

InordertobetteralignwhoIamasaleaderwithhowothersseeme,Iwill…

BobThinksaboutTheme

Ifyouarestilluncertainabouthowtopullthistogether,Bobisinthesameboat.Butathisfarewelllunch,hedidgetanideaofwhatleadershipstorythemehewasleavingbehindashejumpedshiptoanothercompany.

“Bob,I’mgoingtogiveyouachoicebetweentwodoors…and,no,notigersbehindoneofthem,”Iassuredhim.“Youcancontinuebeingagoodtechnocratwhoruleshisprojectdomainwithoneortwodirectreports.Giventhatyouareinyour40s,youcouldplaythesametech-gururoleatfourorfivemorecompaniesbeforeyouhangupyourcertification.Or,youcouldhireandmoldbiggerteamswithstrategicassignmentsthatarecloselywatchedattheCEOlevel,helpdevelopotherstotheirpotential,andmaybeevengetsomebigstockoroptionawards.Andnothavetogotoanewcompany.Instead,learnnewthingsinproductlinesthecompanyneverdreamedof.What’syourchoice?”

Bobsatthereforawhile.“Iseeyourpoint,Tim.Iamuncomfortablewithmovingaroundalot,butit’sbecauseIamtoocomfortablebeingtheprojectexpert,holdingontoit.I’vebeenwearingmyexpertisehatallmycareer.Peopleknowmeforthatrightnow.SomaybeIamidentifyinganissueformyself:whendoIwearmyexperthat,andwhendoIwearaleaderhat?”

“Andthat’showpeoplethinkofyou,Bob.Theysaidso,howeveruncomfortably,atyourfarewellluncheon.Doyouwantthatlonerangerstufftobethethemeofyourleadershipstory?Ifyoudo,it’sgoingtofollowyou,notjustsitwithformercolleagues.Maybefollowyouforyears.Peopletalk,andsocialmediagivesnegativetalkaninfinitelifespan.”

Bobwaslisteningcarefully.

QuickTips

ToDevelopYourTheme

1.Forquickfeedback,giveyourselfandothersagrade;askotherstodothesame.Itcanhelpinitiatecandidconversations,reinforceexpectations,andhighlightperceptions.

2.Effectiveleadershiprequiresyoutoletgoof(ordelegate)sometechnicalskillsandembraceyourroleasleader.

3.Reconcilehowyouthinkyouaredoingasaleaderwithhowothersperceiveyouaredoing.

STEP5

FindYourOptimalSetting

Whenitcomestostory,settingreferstowheretheeventsofthestorytakeplace.Thesettingforyourleadershipstoryisaboutgeographicallocationandtheorganizationyouworkfor,anditisalsoabouttheworkitself.Specifically,forpartofyourleadershipstory,youwillneedtodeterminehowthesettingofyourworkprovidesmeaningtoyou.Youshouldconsiderhowthesettingcontributespositivelyornegativelytoyourleadershipstory.

Norightorwronganswerexistsforthequestionofwhetheryouareintherightsetting,exceptforonequalifier:How’sitworkingforyou?Ifyouanswersomethingalongthelinesof“Notsogood,”thenitisuptoyoutothinkaboutwhythatissoandwhatyouarepreparedtodoaboutit.

Iworkedwithanestablishedleaderwhohadmadeacareerchangeayearprior.Shewasamidcareerleaderwhohadtakenajobataflowershopbecauseshewantedtobearoundsomethingbeautifulandhelpbringjoytopeopleeveryday.AlthoughIdidnotknowherbeforesheworkedattheflowershop,sheexplainedhowshehadneverbeenhappier.Shealsoremindedmethatitwasatoughdecision,andthedecisionrequiredsomesacrifices.Thatisanextremeexample,andIamnotencouragingyoutoquityourjob.WhatIamencouragingyoutodoisfindyourflowershop—thatenvironmentthatbringsoutthebestinyouandothers.Lookforopportunitiestocreateitwithinyourexistingenvironment.

Formanyofus,ourstoryhasevolvedinavarietyofsettingsovertimeandmaycontinuetoevolve.Evenifwedon’tchangesettings,theenvironmentaroundusmightchange,sowestillmustbeawareofoursettingandhowitisworkingforus.Youshouldalsoconsiderhowyouasaleaderfosterasenseofprideintheworkyoudoandwhereyoudoit(i.e.,organization,physicalsetting).

Thinkaboutwhenyouarriveinanorganizationforthefirsttime.Youarelikelyconfrontedwithstoriesaboutpeoplecurrentlyandformerlypartoftheorganization.Youunderstandwhatgetsrewardedandwhatgetspunished.Thatformsthebasisoftheorganization’sculture,anditalsoservesasdataforyoutobetterunderstandwhatisimportantwithinthisnewsetting.Ifyouhavebeenpartofanorganizationforsometime,youhavelikelycontributedtothestoriesinsomeway.Howhaveyoubeenandcanyoubeaprotagonistforyoursettingandinyoursetting?

inyoursetting?Settingneedstobemonitoredfortheeffectthatyouhaveonitandithason

you.Thesettingshouldnotbeasourceoforgroundsforconflict.Asaleader,youneedtoknowwhatisimportanttoyou,whatisenabling,andwhatisconstraining.Youneedtohavealong-termplanregardingwhereyouwanttobeandanunderstandingofwhereyouareatyourbest.Havingagoodunderstandingoftheelementsofyourleadershipstoryupuntilthispointwillprovideagreatdealofclaritywhenitcomestothereflectivequestionsincludedthroughoutthischapter.

Sometimesyourleadershipstoryisnotreflectingyouaccuratelyorwhereyouwantittobe,eitherpersonallyorintheeyesofothers.I’mnotadvocatingchangingsettings,althoughthatmaybenecessaryatsomepoint.Keepinmindthesaying“Thegrassisalwaysgreenerontheothersideofthehill.”Thetruthofthematteristhatthegrassisgreenerwhereyouwaterit.Sowhatareyoupreparedtodotocreateanenvironmentthatallowsyouandotherstobeyourbest?

However,thisismoreaboututilizingopportunitieswhentheyexist.Specifically,whenyouareonanewteamorinaneworganization,youhavetheopportunitytoreviseyourleadershipstory.Youneedtobepreparedtotakeadvantageofthoseopportunities,anditbeginswithhavingacompletepictureofyourleadershipstory—whereitiscurrentlyandwhereyouwantittobe.Soitmaybebestinmanycircumstancestomakethemostofwhatyouhave.Infact,myfirstrecommendationwouldbeforyoutomakethemostofyourcurrentsituation.Itmayrequiresomedifficultconversationsrelativetoyourneedsandexpectations.

Inanyevent,Iamadvocatingthatyoutakeacloselookatyoursetting—thatyouexaminewhathashadaneffectonyou,whatcontributestoorinhibitsyoufrombeingatyourbest,andwhereyoumightseeyourselfinthelongterm.Whatisimportanttoyou?Wherecanyoubeatyourbest?Andhowcanyoutakethenecessarystepstoachieveyourgoals?Whatcanyoudotomakeyoursettingbetter?

Dawnhadbeeninherorganizationformorethansevenyearsandinhercurrentroleforalmostfiveyears.Shehadherroutinedown,fromherdriveintoworktoherofficesetuptoherdailyandweeklyroutinesinteractingwithherteam.Peopletendedtocomeinandworkwiththeirheadsdownandthengohome.Littleday-to-dayinspirationexisted,andtheofficespacewasageneric,somber,sobergray.Ithadalwaysbeenthatway.Sheneverquestionedit,andneitherdidanyonefromherteam.

SherecentlyhiredSaraforacreativerolethatwasopenonherteam.Sarahadatonofenergy,buttheblandofficeenvironmentdidn’tnurtureacreative

hadatonofenergy,buttheblandofficeenvironmentdidn’tnurtureacreativespirit.Shewasreadytoworkhardbutneededstimulusandexchange.Oneday,SaraaskedDawnifitwasOKtobringinpersonalpicturestoputinherworkspace.Saralovedtotravel.Shebroughtinpicturesfromawhitewater-raftingtrip,arock-climbingadventure,andherfamilybeachvacation.Saralovedanythingtodowithwaterandespeciallylovedlighthouses,soshebroughtinmini-statuesofthreeofherfavoriteones.Othercolleaguesnoticedthedifferenceandbroughtinfamilyandpetpictures,picturesoftheirtrips,andotheritemsofpersonalinterest.Afewbroughtinsmallplants.Oneevendecoratedherworkspaceforthevariousseasons.

Somethinginterestinghappened.Peoplebegantowalkaroundtheoffice,sharepersonalstoriesandinterests,andexchangeideasaboutallkindsofthings,personalandbusiness.BecauseofSara’syearningforamoreenergeticenvironment,amorepositiveandproductiveattituderadiatedthroughouttheoffice.

Areyouwhereyouwanttobe—geographically,emotionally,andorganizationally?Whereyouaregeographicallyandculturallyatthisstageinyourcareerwillinfluencethequestionsyouaskandtheanswersyougive.Forexample,ifbalanceisimportant,howdoesyoursettingcontributetothat?Inanotherexample,ifyouareintheearlystagesofyourcareer,youmayhaveagreatersenseofadventureandflexibility.Atanotherstageinyourcareer,itmightbemoreimportantforyoutohavestability.Neitheriswrong;theyarejustdifferent.

Whenyoulookbackatwhereyouhavebeen,whichsettingshavehadagreatimpactonyou?Why?Wasitthepeopleortheplace?Wasitthestructures,policies,orculture?Whathaveyoulearned?Andhowdoyourealizetheimpactsofwhereyouhavebeenandwhereyouare—allaspectsofyoursetting—onyourleadershipstory?

Whenyoulookahead,wheredoyouwanttobe,intermsoflocation,life,andcareerstage?Bethoughtfulaboutwhatwillallowyoutobeatyourbestandachieveyourgoals.True,youmighthavetomakesometrade-offsalongtheway.Butitisbetterforyoutodrivethatprocessaccordingtoyourneedsandgoals.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTYOUROPTIMALSETTING1.Howdoesyoursettingenableorconstrainyourbestleadershipcapabilities?

2.Whatgetsrewardedandpunishedinyourorganization?3.Howhaveyourtravelsshapedyourperspectiveasaleader?Wherehaveyoubeenthathasinfluencedyourthinking?

4.Howcanyoumakethemostofyourcurrentsetting?5.Wherehaveyouhadthegreatestimpactandexperiencedthegreatestsatisfactionasaleader?Why?

ActivitiestoFindYourOptimalSetting

Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers

Masterful2x2✓

Detour!✓

NewConstruction✓ ✓

Gratitude✓

BeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T. ✓ ✓

MASTERFUL2x2Mostjobshaveaspectsthatwelikeandsomethatwedon’t.Theyalsohavethingswearegoodatandthingswearenot.Inthosesameinstances,thereareseveralaspectsthatarecriticaltoyourrole.Forexample,youmaylovebeinganaccountant,andyoumightbegoodatit.Butifitisnotcriticaltoyourleadershiprole,youmayfindyourselfmicromanagingandnotdelegatingwhereyoushould,which,Iassureyou,willreflectonyourleadershipstory.

Becausethisconcernsyourleadershipstory,itisimportantthatyouhaveself-awarenessaboutit.Theresultofbeingself-awarewillhelpyoutofocusyourefforts.Thisactivityisaboutidentifyingandbecomingamasterofwhatyou

efforts.Thisactivityisaboutidentifyingandbecomingamasterofwhatyoulovetodo.

First,inthe2x2matrixthatfollows,writedowntheaspectsofyourjobthatfitineachquadrant.Keepinmindthatsomeoftheworkmaybeimportanttotheorganizationoryourrole,soitislesslikelythatyouwouldsimplystopdoingsomeaspectsofyourjob.Ontheotherhand,youneedtobeawareofwhatyoulikeandwhatyouaregoodat(andthevariations)inordertobestpositionyourleadershipstory.Forexample,ifyouspendyourtimeintheupperrightquadrant,youarelikelytobeexcitedanddelivergreatresults,andyouwillseebenefitsthroughyourleadershipstory.Ifyouspendtimeinthebottomleftquadrant,youaremorelikelytobedisengagedandmakemistakesthatwillreflectnegativelyonyourleadershipstory.

Whenyouaredone,writedownaplantoharnessthepositiveaspectsyouhavelistedandmitigateanyofthenegativeaspects.Thinkintermsofbecomingamasterandbeingadeveloperofothers.

Harnessthepositive.I’vetalkedabouttheimportanceoftechnicalexpertisethroughoutthisbook.You’vegottobetechnicallycompetentandknowthebusinessinordertoberecognizedassomeonewithfutureleadershippotential.

Yourtechnicalcapabilityisverylikelyoneofthereasonsyouaregivengreaterleadershipresponsibilities.Soitcanbehardtoshiftfromthe“doing”mind-setofatechnicalexperttothe“developing”mind-setofaleader.

Asyoubecomealeaderandultimatelytakeongreaterleadershipresponsibilities,youwillbefacedwithnewchallengesanddecisionsaboutwhatyouneedtofocuson.Justasyouworkedhardtobecomeagreattechnicalexpert,tobecomeagreatleaderyoumustshiftsomeofyourfocus,planning,andefforttoleadership.Timespentonsomeoftheproceduraldetailsshouldshifttoagreaterfocusonsettingavision,chartingthecourse,listening,deciding,motivating,anddeveloping.Todothis,youmustletgoofsomeofyourtechnicalresponsibilities.Youmustdelegate.Youmustalsoteachanddevelopothers.Howwillyoucontinuetodevelopandpassalongwhatyouaregoodatandliketodo?Howandwhatwillyouteachothers?Andhowandwhatshouldyoulearnanddevelop?Bespecific.

Mitigatethenegative.Howcanyoudelegateworkthatyoudon’tlikeandarenotgoodat?Note:thismaybeadevelopmentopportunityforothersonyourteam.

DETOUR!Iliveinthecity,anditseemsthatroadworkisalwaysgoingonsomewhere.Thecityclaimsthatitisinthenameofprogress,tomakethingsbetter.ButItypicallyfinditaninconvenienceunlessIknowaboutitbeforehandandfindanalternateroute.OnethingIhavelearnedaboutthesedetoursistheabsenceofshortcuts.Yousimplyhavetoplanforthemandworkaroundthem.Somehow,Ialwaysendupatmydestination.

Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,yoursettingisnodifferent.Iknowoffewpeoplewhohaveeverythingperfectaroundtheirsetting.Somethingcan

fewpeoplewhohaveeverythingperfectaroundtheirsetting.Somethingcanalwaysbedonetomakethesettingbetter.

Forthisactivity,startbylistinganythingyouwouldconsideraroadblockinyoursetting.Rateitonascaleof1to5(5isforthebiggestimpedimenttoyourbeingatyourbestasaleader).Andthenbrieflynoteanymitigatingstrategies.Inotherwords,listwhatyoumightbeabletodoeithertochangethataspectofthesettingordetouraroundit.Note,thisisnotaboutpeople;itshouldfocusonthephysicalsetting,culture,policies,structures,andthelike.

NEWCONSTRUCTIONThisisanextensionoftheDetour!activityabove.However,thisfocusesonthoseaspectsofsettingwithinyourcontrolthatyoucanadapttoallowyoutobeyourbest.

Withoutconsiderationofyourcurrentsetting,thinkaboutwhatyouneedtobeatyourbest.Doyouneedmusic?Doartorpersonalphotographsenergizeyouandmakeyouhappy?Doyouneedtostandupandmovearoundthroughouttheday?Doyouneedfreshair?Whatkindofsetting,includingtimeofday,doyoufindmostconducivetocreativeproblemsolving,especiallyaboutpeopleissues?Focusonthethingsoverwhichyoumighthavesomecontrol.

Forexample,ifthebeachmakesyouhappy,thatisnice(itmakesmehappy,too)butnotrelevanttoadaptingyoursettingtobettermeetyourneeds.Thisactivityisnotjustaboutwhatmakesyouhappy.Thisisaboutwhatneedstobepresentforyoutobeatyourbestandwhatyoumightbeabletodoaboutit.Keepinmind,itmayrequireaconversationwithasupervisor.Itmaytaketimeorbeincremental.Tomanageexpectations,alsokeepinmindtheimportanceoffairnessandequitywithintheworkplace.

Toextendthisactivity,youshouldalsoaskotherstodescribewhenyouareatyourbestandtheimpactithas.Whatarethesituations?Howdoesitshow?Andhowdoesthatimpactothers?

GRATITUDESometimeswedon’trealizehowfortunateweare.Thegoodinourlivesbecomeswallpaper—backgroundthatwetakeforgrantedandhardlynotice.Ihavefoundinmyexperiencethatweareliterallysurroundedbygood.Wejusthavetolookforit,recognizeit,andpayattentiontoit.

Yes.It’sbackagain.Forthisgratitudeactivity,yourfocusisonyoursettingratherthanonpeople.Everydayforaweek,foroneminute,writedownallthethingsyouaregratefulforinyoursetting.Youcanrefertopastorpresentaspects,buttheyhavetobereal,andtheyhavetobeaboutyoursetting.Thesimplequestionis:whatareyouthankfulforinyoursetting?Forthisactivity,youshouldthinkaboutthephysicalenvironmentyouworkin,aspectsofthecorporateandlocalcultureyouarepartof,perhapsyourlocalgeography,andthelike.

BESELF-A-WHEREANDS.M.A.R.T.Tobeatyourbest,wheredoyouneedtobe,andwhatdoyouneedtodo?Weallhaveanenvironmentthatallowsustobeatourbest,todoourbestthinking,toreflect,ortobecreative.Theremaybedifferentplacesforeachofthoseactivities.Infact,itmaybeaplace,atime,orasetofconditions(forexample,listeningtomusicmighthelpyoutobecreative).Theseareallnoblepursuits,andtheymaybecriticaltothefutureofyourleadershipstory.Butweoftendon’tmaketimeforwhatweviewasimportant.

Forthisactivity,firstlistwhatyouwishyoudidmoreof.Thesecouldincludereflection,fitness,creativity,planning,oranynumberofthingsyouwouldliketoincorporateintoyourroutineorspendmoretimeon.Then,ratetheimportanceoftheseactivitiesforyoutobeatyourbest(1to5,with1beingmostimportant).Next,writedowntheamountoftimeyouwouldneedtospendoneachactivity.Finally,writedownarealisticandmeasurableplantofindmoretimeforwhatyouneedtodoorwhereyouneedtobetomakeithappen.Notjustwhatyouwillcommitto,buthowyouwillmakeithappen.

Therereallyisnowronganswer.Thisisaboutcreatingself-awarenessaroundwhatyouneedtobeatyourbest.Itisaboutwhatismostimportanttoyouandaboutidentifyingspecific,measurable,actionable,realistic,andtangible(S.M.A.R.T.)goalstogetyouthere.

Asaleader,youneedtocreateanenvironmentthatallowsotherstobeattheirbest.Forthenextpartofthisactivity,identifyspecificindividualsandwhattheyneedinordertobeattheirbest,howyoucurrentlyenableorconstrainthem,andwhatyoucandotosupportthem.Askeachmemberofyourteamtoanswerthetwoquestionsbelow,andhaveaconversationwitheachofthemabouttheirresponses.Youmaywanttoprovidesomecontextaroundwhatyouortheemployeecancontrol.Forexample,Ionceworkedwithaleaderwhotried

ortheemployeecancontrol.Forexample,Ionceworkedwithaleaderwhotriedthisactivitywithoutanyguidelines,andmanyoftheresponsescenteredaroundhavinggreateraccesstoparkingneartheoffice.Thatisinterestingfordiscussion,buttheleaderwasunabletotakespecificaction.Notethatthisisaboutbeingasupportiveleader,notaboutestablishingcodependence.Itshouldleadtoadialogueaboutandawarenessofindividualprioritiesandyourroleasleader.

Whatdoyouneedinordertobeatyourbest?

HowdoIenableorconstrainyoufrombeingatyourbest?

BobExploresHisSetting

ItalkedwithBobabouttherolethatsettingplaysinpeople’sworkenvironmentsandtheoften-negativeeffectsofsettings.WediscussedhowMichaelBloombergcompletelychangedthefloorplanintheexecutivewingofNewYork’sCityHallwhenhebecamemayor.Heinsistedonbeinginacubicleamongthestaff,inthecenterofthelargeroom.Communicationwasimportanttohim.Afterall,hehadsetupacommunicationsempire.Itwasn’taboutcost,itwasaboutaccess—thestaff’saccesstohimandhisaccesstothem.

“Well,weprettymuchallhavecubes,somebiggerthanothers,”Bobobserved.“OK,butsettingisseveralthings,justlikeinastory,”Isaid.“It’sphysical;it’stimeofyearandtimeof

day.Inaleadershipstory,thesettingcanenhanceyourabilitytoleadandaffectthecomfortlevelofthoseyoutrytolead.It’sabouttheeaseofbeingabletosaytosomeone,‘Hey,let’sgogetacupofcoffeeandtalkaboutthatissue.’”

“Mydirectreportscancometalk.WeuseOutlooktoscheduleappointments.I’mavailable,”heassuredme.

“Letmechangegearshere,Bob.Imagineasmallbusiness—say,10people.Theownerisanautocrat.Hefrequentlyremindseveryonethatit’shisballgame.Whenpeoplespeakuporofferasuggestion—or,worse,acontraryviewpoint—theyallgettheballgamespeech.He’saleader,allright.He’sdefinitelydisplayingtheairsofoneoftheleadershiptypesI’vetalkedabout.Buthowcomfortableisthatenvironment?Howmanysickdaysdoyouthinkpeopletake?Howmanyarethereafter5p.m.?Getmypoint?”

“Tim,Iamnotthatway,notatall…”“Ididn’tsayyouwere.Let’smakethatownera1ona1-to-10scaleofleadership.Heain’tleading!

Let’ssaythatMayorBloomberg,inbusinessandinpolitics,wasa10,justforthesakeofdiscussion,OK?Bob,whereareyouonthatcontinuumregardingthesetting,thecomfortlevel,thewarmandfuzzies,ofyourleadership?Andanotherthing:Outlookisgreat,averyproductivetool.Butit’sjustatool!Usingitthatwayforappointmentsisjusttellingpeoplethattheyhavetoapproachyou—dareIsaycrawltoyou?—and,withluck,findanopenslotonyourOutlookcalendartotalkwithyou.That’sone-directional.Whenwasthelasttimeyoujustpoppedinonsomeoneandsaid,‘How’sitgoingwithyourproject?’”

Bobhadneverquitethoughtofhislittlecornerofthecompanycubefarminthoseterms.

QuickTips

ToFindYourOptimalSetting

1.Takeownershipandresponsibilityforwhatyoucandotomakeyoursettingoptimalforyou.

2.Knowandarticulatewhataboutasettingenablesyoutobeatyourbestandconstrainsyoufromthesame.

3.Activelyseekfeedbackfromyourteammembersaboutwhatittakesforthemtobeattheirbest,andhaveaspecificplantohelpsupportthem.

CHAPTERIII

TheNarrativeArc

Let’spauseforamomenthere.We’vediscussedtheelementscommontoanystory,andyourleadershipstorycan’tbeaninterestingoneunlessitcoversthosebasicelements.What’smore,itwon’tbemuchofastoryunlessithasabeginning,middle,andend—atimeline.Thisiscalledanarrativearc,withrisingactionthatreachesabigturningpoint,orclimax,anddescendingaction.Moviesfollowthesamepattern,orwewouldn’tbeeagertoseethatnextfilm.

Yourarcshouldleadtoahighpointinyourcareerwheneverythingcomestogether.Nowisthetimetothinkaboutwhereyouwanttogowithyourleadership—oryourpurpose—andhowyouaregoingtogetthere—oryourpath.Yourarcweavesitswaythroughalltheotherelementsofyourstory.Asyoulookacrosseachoftheelements,thinkaboutitintermsofyourtimelineandtheinfluencethatcertainpeopleandeventshavehadonthewayyouthinkandactasaleader.

MappingYourArcandDiscoveringYourLeadershipTruths

Confuciussaid,“Studythepastifyouwishtodefinethefuture.”Thepastisafoundationalaspectofourleadershipstory,anditshowsuptodayasourleadershipmind-set.Itisimportanttounderstandthepastandhowitshapesourleadershipstory—toreflectonit,tolearnfromit,butnottoliveinit.Whoorwhathasshapedyourmostdeeplyheldvaluesasaleader?

Whenitcomestohowthismanifestsitselfinourleadership,therearethestorieswetellourselves—fromourinnervoiceormind-set—tojustifyandrationalizeouractions.Andthentherearetheoutward-facingstoriesthatothers

hearandbywhichtheyjudgeourleadership.Howwelldoyourinnerandoutervoicesalign?Putmorebluntly,iswhatyoutellyourselfastretchfromwhatothersperceive?Wouldyouagreethatitisimportanttoassessthematch?RememberhowshockedBobwasatlunch?

Sowhereareyouonyourleadershipjourney?Thisisanopportunitytolookinthemirror.Aswetransitionfromunderstandingyourstorytocommunicatingit,thissectiongivesyouachancetomapoutyourleadershiptimelineinordertovisualizeyournarrativearc.Sure,thissoundseasyenough,butitcanbealittleuncomfortable.Youcertainlycouldskimthesurfaceandhaveasuperficialarc.Ifyoureallywanttohaveadeeperunderstandingofyourleadership,youwillhavetoworkhardonthisactivity.

Thinkaboutyoursignificantpersonalmilestones—thoseeventsandpeoplethathadasignificantimpactonwhatyouvalueandhowyouthinkasaleader.Thiswillallowyoutomeasureyourmilestonesandguidepostsalongthewaytoyourultimategoal.Itisanopportunitytolookbackandmakesenseofthepeople,places,andeventsthathavecontributedtoyourleadershipstoryingeneral,andyourmind-setorvoiceinparticular.

Hereishowthisworks.Thereisreallynoruleastotimelineformat.Youmaychartalineacrossthepage,writeanarrative,orputyourstoryinoutlineforminbulletpoints.Iprefertostartwithanoutline,andIliketoworkchronologicallyuptothepresent.

Ihavefounditbesttosegmentone’slife—particularlyfortheearlyyears.Inpartoneofthisactivity,thinkaboutyourfirst15to20years.Whoweretheinstrumentalpeopleinyourlife?Isuggestbeginningclosetoyourinnercircleandmovingoutward.Werethereparents,grandparents,siblings,orotherfamilymemberswhohadastronginfluenceonyou?Asyouworkyourwayoutfromfamily,wereothersinfluential,suchascampcounselors,coaches,churchorcommunityleaders,orteachers?Makeanoteofwhotheywereandhowtheyinfluencedyou.Mostimportant,whatwasitabouttheirleadershipthatyouremember?Keepinmindthatyouarenotlookingforvolume.Youarelookingforinfluence.

Inparttwoofthisactivity,addingtotherecordyou’vebeencreatingabove,thinkabouttheeventsandactivitiessinceyourearlyyearsthathaveinfluencedyourdeepestthinkingasaleader—thathadalastingimpactonyou.Theycouldbesingleeventsorsomethingthatoccurredovertime.Thinkabouttimeswhenyoutookonresponsibilityforpeopleandwhenotherslookedtoyouforguidanceanddirection.Howdidyouact?Whatdidthatteachyouaboutpeople?Aboutbeingaleader?Whatdidyoulearnaboutyourselfandotherpeople?

Asyoucontinuewiththeactivityuptothepresentday,youmayfinditeasiesttocontinueacrosstimesegments(e.g.,every10years),oryoumaybemorecomfortableshiftingyourfocustothekeypeopleandeventsthathaveinfluencedhowyouthinkaboutleadership.Eitherapproachisfine,andIwouldencourageyoutokeeptwothingsinmindasyoudocument.First,thisactivityalwaysencouragesimpactoverquantity.Second,yourstoryisbestrepresentedinchronologicalorder.Why?Youmayrediscoverthatyourleadershipisanchoredinsomecoreprinciplesgroundedataveryyoungage.

Youmaylikewhatyoufind…oryoumaynot.Thetaskisnottorationalizeorexplainawaywhatyoufindaboutyourcoreprinciples;itistounderstandyourleadershiptruths.Thisactivityisnotmeanttoindicateanythingrightorwrong,perse.Itisaboutgainingadeeperunderstandingofwhathasshapedyouasaleader.

Asyoucompletethetimelineactivity,youshouldbegintohavegreaterclarityaboutyourleadershiptruthsthaneverbefore.Doyoulikewhereyouareinyourleadershipjourney?Doyoulikeyourstory?Asyoulooktothefuture,whatpathisyourarctaking?Istherestillmuchworktobedone?Theextentto

whatpathisyourarctaking?Istherestillmuchworktobedone?Theextenttowhichthereisdissonancebetweenwhoyouaretodayandwhoyouwanttobeasaleaderprovidesthestartingpointforyourpersonaldevelopment.

Whilemuchofthissectionisfocusedonwhathasshapedyourdeepestthinkingandvaluesasaleader,youshouldtakethetimetothinkabouttheroleyouplayinotherpeople’sarcs.Whatimpactareyouhavingonothers?SteveJobs’sleadershipstyleiswelldocumented.Althoughhegotresultsthatcontinuetobeadmired,heleftalotofpersonalcasualtiesinhiswake.Imaginethepoweroftheongoingimpacthewouldhavehadifhehadnotonlydevelopedinnovativeproductsbutalsodevelopedhispeopletoagreaterextent.Whenallissaidanddone,youwillberememberedforthepeopleyouinfluencedandmolded,butonlyincidentallyforthetasksandprojectsyoucheckedoff.Whatdoyouwanttoberememberedfor?Howareyouusingyourleadershipforthegreatergood?

Here’sanothertip.It’stheoppositeofforecasting.It’scalledbackcasting.Imaginewhereyouwantyourleadershiptimelinetoendup,inthefuture.Startwiththeidealyoureallywant.Nowgobackwardinsomeincrement—say,fiveyears.Whatdoyouhavetodotomeetthatbenchmarkbeforeyoucanreachtheendgoal?Maybetheincrementsareshorter,suchasayear.Whateverworksforyou.Thenkeepgoing—e.g.,byanotheryearorfive-yearspace.Keepbackcastinguntilyoureach,well,today,markingoffeachsub-accomplishmentthatyouknowyouneedbeforetheendofthetimeline.Doesthisgiveyoumoreofaleadershipplanthanyouhad,say,onehourago?

Bob’sNarrativeArc

Oneevening,BobandItookalongwalkaroundthelakeneartheconferencecenterwhereIwasspeaking.Walkingisagreatwaytofreeupthinking.

“Bob,Ioftentalkaboutaperson’sinnervoiceandoutervoice.Thewayyouwereatthelunchwithyourpeersatthelastcompanywasyouroutervoice.Itclashedwithyourinnervoice,theoneyouweretalkingtoyourselfwith.DoyouseewhatIamgettingat?”Iaskedhim.

“Well,Tim,Iamquiteawareofthelunchanditsimpact,OK?”hesaid,somewhatinfrustration.“Sure.Enoughofthelunch,already.Solet’sgobackintimeandfindsomemoreinnervoicesandouter

voices,waybackwhen,andseehowwecanbuildanarrativearcforyourleadershipstory,”Isuggested.Aboutthen,wepassedabunchofgeeseonthelake.Westoppedandstared.Notmanygeeseherein

WashingtonorBob’shomecity.Suddenly,Bobmadeacommentthatwasrobustwithopportunity.“Gee,isn’titfunnyhowthewholebunchofthemfollowthatoneguyalloverthelake?I’vealways

wonderedaboutthatinbirds.”Idecidedtoholdthatthoughtforawhile.ThenIexplainedtoBobhowthenarrativearcreachesahigh

pointinacareerandhowwhatleadsuptothatarcisquiteinfluentialinourprofessionallives.We

pointinacareerandhowwhatleadsuptothatarcisquiteinfluentialinourprofessionallives.Wediscussedthefactthattheinnervoiceistheoneweusetorationalizeourownstorytoourselves,buttheoutervoiceiswhatothersaresaying.Conflictsometimeshappens.

“Bob,whoinfluencedyouinyouryouth?Notwhopersuadedyoutoenteryourcurrentprofessionaloccupation,but,rather,whomadeanimpactonhowyouthoughtaboutyourself?”

“Oh,Ihadascienceteacherinhighschoolwhosaidsomethingnoonehadeversaidtome.Itwasalabclassandwewerebuildingsmallmotorizedcatapultsasexamplesofclassictools.Imadeasuggestionaboutsomething—can’trememberwhatitwas—andhetoldmeIwasacreativeproblemsolver.HesaidIlookedatthedesignwewereallworkingfromandquestionedit.Hethoughtmyidea,assmallasitwas,demonstratedgoodthinking,”Bobrecalled.“HealsosaidIwasgoodatexplainingdifficultconceptssimply.Funny,butIrememberhissayingthatEinsteinclaimedanyonewhocouldn’texplainsomethingsimplydidn’tunderstandithimself,andIhaveneverforgottenthatidea,”headded.

“Anyoneelse?Thinkoutsideofschool…church,camp,parents,friends,sports,memorableconflicts…whatcomestomind?”Iprodded.

“Well,achurchleader,duringastudysession,saidIaskedgoodquestions,althoughIdon’tthinkheappreciatedsomeofthem,”Bobjoked.

“Anycrisesorconflictsthatbecamepartofyourinnervoice?”“Ah,yes.Summercamponeyear.Iwasastudentcampassistantorsomething.Turnedoutsomekids

hadsomeconflictormaybewerefromopposinggangs…can’trememberwhat.Itwasneargettingphysical,andwecouldn’thavethat.Thecampdirectorwasabouttopounce,when,outoftheblue,Iofferedthetwogroupsachallenge:whichgroupcouldbuildaNativeAmericantepeethatwouldwithstandthestormweheardwascoming?Idon’tknowhowIthoughtofit.Idorecallthecampdirectorstaringatmeandthensmilingslightly,”Bobrecalledwithanostalgicgrin.

“Howdiditworkout?Didthestorms,bothofthem,thingsdown?”Ipressed.“EverythingcameoutOK,andwehadnoproblems.Andbothtepeeswithstoodtherain,buteachwas

builtslightlydifferently,andweleteachgroupdescribehowtheymadetheirs,”herecalled.“AndwhateverIproposedthereafter—fordays—theyallwentalongwithit.”

“Theyallwentalongwithit?”Iasked.“Whydoyousupposethathappened,Bob?”“IguessIwasturninggoodproblemsolvingintoanearlystageofleadership,”heobserved.

Weexploredhistimelinefurther,especiallyashedevelopedhisprofessional,technicalexpertise.Boblikedbeingaproblemsolverinallhisjobs.Hefounditfun.Helikedaskingquestionstochallengeconventionalthinking.Iwondered,whyhadn’thedevelopedhisleadershipskilltoo?Forsomereason,hedefaulted,sotospeak,towhathisinnervoicetoldhimwasthesaferoute.SoIaskedhimaboutallthat.

“Stayinginmyprofessionalframeofmindwaseasy,”Bobadmitted.“Maybeitwasthefearoftheunknownabouttakingonbigendeavors.MaybeIthoughtmyluckwouldrunout.Afterall,corporatelifeisnotlikeasciencelaborasummer-campconflict.IguessIdidn’twanttofailatanything,”heventured.

“Bob,manymanagementgurushaveexpressedavariationonthissimplethought:ifyouneverfailatsomeendeavor,youaren’ttakingenoughrisks—reasonablerisks.Allcompanieshavefailedproducts.Sowhatifyoucallonewrong?Youmoveon.Learnfromit.GMfailedwithSaturn.MGMhasproducedhundredsoffailedmovies.Procter&Gambleregularlypullstheplugonconsumerproducts.Failuresprovidepathwaystosuccesses.Edisonspokeofthislongago.Ifyoudon’thaveabombnowandthen,someoneupstairswillthinkyouareplayingtoosafe.

“Itsoundslikefearoffailureisakeyroadblockhere.That,andacomfortlevelthatistoocomfortable.

“Itsoundslikefearoffailureisakeyroadblockhere.That,andacomfortlevelthatistoocomfortable.Don’tgetmewrong,Bob.Everyonewantstobecomfortable,butit’salsocomforting—andfun—toleadotherpeopleintotheircreativepotential.What’smore,followingacreativeleaderisfun.It’salsocomfortable.Thosekidsatcampalmostgotnasty,butthentheyfollowedyoufordays—becausetheywantedto,forwhateverreason.”

Itwasourthirdtriparoundthesmalllake.Weagaincameacrossthegeese.“Theyjustseemcomfortablefollowingthatleadgander,don’tthey?”Bobjoked.

“Yup.Leadershipistheartofmakingpeoplefeelcomfortablewithbeingled,givingthemthesensethattheyareheadedforwhat’sgood,somethingthat’sbest,”Isaid.

CHAPTERIV

TheArtofCommunicatingYourLeadershipStory

Understandingandaligningyourleadershipstoryisafoundationalpartoftheequation.Howyoucommunicateyourstorytellsasmuchaboutyouasthestoryitself.Ifnottoldright,attherightopportunityandwiththerightaudience,yourleadershipstorycanbackfire.

Sinceyourleadershipstorylivesinyouractionsandthehearts,minds,andperceptionsofothers,itisimportanttothinkabout,beawareof,andplanforhowyoucommunicateyourleadershipstory.Asthetitleofthissectionsuggests,thereisconsiderablearttocommunicatingyourstory.Thereisnosinglebestway.

Ifweagreethatunderstandingyourleadershipstoryiscomplexanddynamic,tellingitisequallyso.Infact,addingtothecomplexityisthatyoumaybetellingyourleadershipstoryinadvertently.Oryoumaynotevenbetheonetellingyourleadershipstory.Ofcourse,youplayacriticalroleincommunicatingyourleadershipstory.And,youraudienceandyourleadershipstoryitselfalsoplayacriticalroleaswell.Tocommunicateyourleadershipstory,youmustthinkaboutandproactivelyplanforyourmessages(what),beawareofuniqueopportunitiesandtiming(when,where,andhow),andalsorecognizetherolethatothersplayincommunicatingyourleadershipstory(who).Youwillalsoseethataudiencematters,andotherscanandshouldplayabroaderroleinyourleadershipstory.

Chapter4ofthisbookprovidesaguideforyoutothinkaboutyourleadershipstory,aswellasstrategiestohelpyouplanforcommunicatingit.Eachstepinchapter4beginswithanoverviewandexplanationofastorytellingelement.Andbecauseeverysituation,environment,andpersonallevelofcomfortwith

expressingyourleadershipstoryisdifferent,eachstepprovidesquestionstoguideself-reflectionandintroducesstrategiesandtipstohelpyoupreparetotellyourleadershipstory.Becausethisdealswithexecution,youwillfindthestrategies,techniques,andtipstobetacticalinnature.

Whenyoutellastory,severalelementsarerequiredforittohavethegreatestintendedimpact.

WhatConstitutesGoodStorytelling?

Totellagoodstory,youmustknowyourmessage,knowtheaudience,makethemostofopportunitiestocommunicateyourstory,andrecognizethatactionsspeaklouderthanwords;andyoushouldenlistotherstotellyourstory.Foryourintendedmessagetocomeacrossandbememorable,youneedtobetruetoyourselfandauthentic.Dependingonyourleadershipstoryandyourpersonalcomfortlevelincommunicatingit,youmayneedtorelyonsomeaspectsofstorytellingmorethanothers.

Yourleadershipstoryisuniquelyyours.Andyouneedtobefamiliarwithit.Step6discussestheimportanceofknowingyourmessage.Havingjustcompletedmanyoftheactivitiesearlierinthebook,youshouldhavegreaterself-awarenessandgreaterinsightsintohowothersperceiveyou.Thischapterprovidesguidanceforpullingyourstorytogetherinasuccinctandcrispway.

Yourleadershipstoryneedstobeflexibleenoughtomeettheneedsofavarietyofaudiences,whetherlargegroupsorindividuals.Step7discussesthepotentialaudiencesyoushouldbepreparedforataminimum,theimportanceofunderstandingtheirneeds,andhowtotailoryourmessagetoyouraudience.Youwillbeintroducedtostrategiesandtechniquestohelpyoubereadytoadjustyourstorytomeettheneedsofavarietyofaudiences.

Timingmaynotbeeverything,butitsureisimportant.Thereisatimeandaplaceforeverything.Step8delvesintowhythisisimportantandprovidesstrategiesforfindingjusttherightopportunities—ormomentsoftruth—toshowcaseyourleadershipstoryoranaspectofit.Youwillfindthatsomeopportunitiescanbeplanned,whileothersareunanticipated.Dependingontheaudience,thesemomentsoftruthmaybehighlyuniqueevents,soitisimportantthatyoubepreparedfortheunanticipated.

Iwishthatcommunicatingyourleadershipstorywereassimpleasverballypresentingwhoyouareasaleaderandwhatyoubelievein.Unfortunately,that

isnotthecase.Muchofyourleadershipstoryresidesinyouractionsandothernonverbalcues.Step9discussesthistopic,providingexamplesandtipstoincreaseyourawareness,aswellasstrategiestoactivelyengageyouractionsandothernonverbalcommunicationtoyouradvantage.

Aswehavediscussedthroughoutthisbook,youaretheownerofyourleadershipstory.However,othersplayacriticalrole,whetherintheirperceptionsorasaprotagonistorantagonist.InStep10,Idiscussthebroaderroleofothers,aswellashowandwhytoenlistthemintellingyourleadershipstory.Theresultscanbequitepowerful.

STEP6

KnowYourMessage

Goodstorytellershaveapurposeinmind.Theyknowwhattheywanttoshareandwhy.Thismaysoundstraightforwardenough,butwithoutspecificstrategies,itcanbeeasiersaidthandone.

Addingtothecomplexity,themessageofyourleadershipstoryisnotjustaboutyou.Youmaynotevenalwaysbethemaincharacter.Greatleadersengageothersintheirstory.Theyaskquestionsandshouldstrivetobeknownforthequestionstheyask.Andtheymakestrongconnections.Yourmessagemustbesimple,clear,understandable,andmotivational.And,unlikefolktales,yourleadershipstoryshouldnotexaggeratetomakeapoint.

Howyoucommunicateyourstoryisanimportantconsiderationaswell.Ifyouwantyourleadershipstory(oraspectsofit)tobememorable,itneedstobesuccinct,timely,andinspiring.Youhavetothinkaboutyourcomfortzoneintellingaspectsofyourleadershipstory,aswellaswhereandhowyoucanhavethegreatestimpactwithyourmessage.Inotherwords,youhavetoframeyourmessageappropriately.Forexample,let’ssayanimportantelementofyourleadershipstoryandadefiningcharacteristicandvalueisthatyouarehumble.Youcannotverywellgoaroundtellingpeoplethatyouarehumble.Sothroughoutthischapter,youareprovidedwithstrategiestothinkaboutnotonlywhatyouwanttoconveybuthowbesttoconveyit.

Let’sbeginbyfocusingonwhatyouwanttoconvey.Thefirstpartofthebookprovidedanumberofactivitiestohelpyoudefineimportantelementsofyourleadershipstory.Youshouldhaveasolidpointofviewaboutwhoyouareasaleader,whatyouvalue,andwhathasshapedyourleadershipstory.Keepin

mindthattheremaybeelementsofyourleadershipstorythatyouwanttoconveyandsomeaspectsthatyoumaynotwanttoconvey.Nowthatyouhaveabroaderunderstanding,thinkaboutthefollowingquestionstohelpyoubegintohomeinonwhatyouwanttotell:

•Howwouldyousuccinctlysummarizeyourleadershipstory?Thinkaboutwhatyouaremostpassionateaboutasaleader.

•Whatarethekeyaspectsyouwanttoreinforce?Thinkaboutthisintermsofhowyouleadandinteractwithpeople,aswellasthetasks.

•Whatlessonsdoyouwanttoimpart?Thinkaboutwhatmessagesyouwanttoimpartaboutyourself,yourapproachtoleadership,whatyouhavelearned,andyourexpectationsofyourselfandothers.

•Whocanbesthelpyoucommunicateyourleadershipstory?Whatmessagesdotheyneedtoknowtodosoeffectively?

FramingYourMessage

Whenitcomestocommunicatingyourleadershipstory,themostimportantconceptisframing.Thiscombinesyourmessagewithyouraudience.Thelatterisdiscussedfurtherinthenextstep.Framingallowsyoutoprovidecontext—toillustrateideasandconceptsinaparticularwaythatgivesthemgreaterrelevance,helpsotherstodrawconclusions,andestablishesacommonunderstanding.Aswiththeexampleabove,youarenotencouragedtowalkaroundtheofficetellingpeopleaspectsofyourstory,suchasyourhumility.Youwouldneedtoframethatmessagedifferentlysothatotherscouldreachthatconclusion.

Toniwasanewpartneratherfirm.Shehadbeenhiredfromoutsidetheorganization.Toniinheritedanewteamofprofessionalseagertogettoknowherandherstyle.Inherfirstteammeeting,shetookthetimetodiscussherprofessionalbackground.Notonlydidshehighlightwheresheworked,butshealsohighlightedwhatshehadlearnedaboutleadingpeople.Andnotallofherbackgroundwasfilledwithsuccesses.Sheadmittedtothegroupthatshehadlearnedthroughsomemistakesalongtheway.Shetalkedaboutwhatwasimportanttoherasaleader—whatherexpectationswereforherselfandforherteam.Shesharedsomeofherpersonalinterestsandalsotooktimetoanswerquestions.Shelettheteamknowthatshewouldbeschedulingindividual

meetingswitheachoftheminthecomingweekstolearnmoreaboutthem.InthebookOwntheRoom:DiscoverYourSignatureVoicetoMasterYour

LeadershipPresence,AmySuandMurielWilkinsdiscussmultiplewaysofframingthatyoucanadapttofityourleadershipstory.13First,youcanframeyourstoryrelativetowhereyoufitwithyourcompany’sbiggerpurposeandobjectives.Forexample,youwouldestablishaconnectionbetweenwheretheteamororganizationisgoingandhowyouchampionthat.Second,youcanframeyourleadershipstoryrelativetoaspecificpurposeoroutcome.Andthird,youmaywanttoillustrateyourmessagethroughastoryinordertobringittolife.

Yourleadershipstoryshouldbebasedonyourexperiencesandbeliefs.Yourexperiencesandbeliefshavetobefrontofmindforyou.Youshouldhavedataorexamplesthatreinforceyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit.

Sinceyoudonotknowandcannotplanforeverysituationthatwilllenditselftoyourtellingyourleadershipstoryorelementsofit,itisimportantforyoutobepreparedwiththekeymessagesyouwanttoreinforce.Thinkaboutthefollowingreflectivequestions.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTKNOWINGYOURMESSAGE1.What,inyourmind,arethemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory?2.Howwouldyoubestsummarizewhoyouareasaleader?3.Whataretheinspirationalaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Whataretheaspirationalaspects?

4.Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywouldyouliketofurtherrefine?5.Howcanyoubuildhabitsandroutinesaroundthinkingaboutyourleadershipstoryandkeymessages?

Rememberthatstorieshelpustointerpretthepastinordertoshapethefuture.Forpartofyourmessage,youwillwanttoclearlydifferentiatewhoyouareasaleaderfromwhoyouwanttobe.Itisasubtledifferencebutanimportantone.Thisshiftsyoufromastaticmind-settomoreofalearningandgrowthmind-set,anditaddsalevelofhumilitybyassumingthatyoustillhavesomethingtolearnasaleader.

Theanchorfortellingyourstoryliesinhowwellyouunderstand,believein,

andconnecttoyourownstory.Additionally,youneedyourstorytoberelevant.Wetalkinthenextpartaboutknowingyouraudience,butitisimportanttopointoutherethatthereisadirectrelationshipbetweenknowingyourmessage,knowingyouraudience,andknowingtheorganizationalcontext—orwhattheorganizationvalues.Ifyourmessageisnotalignedwitheitheroftheseothertwoentities,yourleadershipstorymaybeunderappreciatedormisinterpreted.

Bob’sStrugglewithMessage“Framingmymessage…gosh,Tim.IamnotsureIknowtheessenceofmyleadershipmessage,letalonehowtoframeitforothers,”Bobsaid.

Hewasunderstandablyfrustrated.Afterall,hehadbeenaprojectmanagerwithacoupleofdirectreports.Rightnow,however,heisbeginningtoseethathehasboxedhimselfinbybeingthelonerangerincompaniesthatwanttodevelopstrategicleadersforinitiativesthatarebiggerthananordinary,short-term,let’s-get-this-done-this-quarterkindofproject.

“Tim,acoupleofdaysagoyoucorrectedmeaboutelevatorspeeches—youtoldmethatmyleadershipstoryisnotsomeone-sentenceelevatorspeech.OK,fillmein.Isitaparagraph,apage…Ijust…”

“Wearenottalkingwordsandpunctuationhere,Bob,”Iasserted.“Wearetalkingaboutagrandvision.Wearetalkingaboutanemotionaljoltthatmakespeopleyouleadsay,‘Wow,Iwanttobepartofthat.’Thisisaflag,ananthem,andabattleplanallwrappedupinnontangibleterms,notabumperstickeroraprojectsummary.

“Letmeaskyouaboldquestion,”Icontinued.“Canyoudescribethegrandideayouwouldliketoimplementandleadwithabig,strategicteamyouchooseandguide?Whatwoulditbelike?”

“Well,IsupposeI’dhavetoidentifythetypeofpeoplefirst,”Bobbegan.“Theydon’tallhavetobeinmyprofession,right?Icanhaveamixed,diversegroupofpeople,notallwiththesameviewpoint?”

“Bob,thisisabreakthrough.You’vehadsomething—somethingbig—inmindforawhile,haven’tyou?Nowyouhaveareasontodevelopaleadershipstory.Oryoumighthaveanevenlongerrésuméofemployersfromnowuntilthenextdecade.Yourchoice,guy,”Isaidsmiling.

QuickTips

ToKnowYourMessage

1.Don’tfabricateormisrepresentyourleadershipstory.2.Knowthedifferencebetweenwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.

3.Rehearseyourstoryandelementsofit.4.Readbiographiesandautobiographiesofleaders.Notewhatmadethemgreatandhowtheirstorywastold.

STEP7

KnowYourAudience

Youarethefirstaudienceforyourleadershipstory.Yourjobistodeterminewhatisworthtelling.Then,onceyouhavefilteredthroughandidentifiedthemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory,thestorytellingmustbecomecollaborative.Itreinforcesandbridgestherelationshipbetweenyouandyouraudience.Andrecallthatyourleadershipstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers.Therefore,youraudienceplaysanimportantroleinyourleadershipstory.

Itisnotsimplyaboutcreatingabiggeraudienceoronewithmoreseniorleaders.Forexample,ifyouareafirst-timeleaderjuststartingoutatacompany,itmaybeunlikelythatthepresidentorCEO(orotherseniorleader)isinyourimmediateaudience.Sothischapterislessaboutincreasingyouraudienceandmoreaboutensuringthesignificanceofyourmessagewithexistingaudiences.

Storiesneedtoberelevanttotheiraudience.Asyourleadershipstoryevolves,youneedtobeawareofhowyoufitwithothersandtheorganization.Inotherwords,thinkabouthowyourleadershipstoryisalignedwithandsupportsothers.Youneedtoidentifywhothoseinyouraudienceare,whattheywanttoknow,whytheyshouldknowit,andhowandwhentoengagethem.Keepinmindthattheexchangeshouldbetwo-way:asyougivetheminformationaboutyourleadershipstory,seektounderstandwhatisimportanttothematthesametime.

Jessicametwithhersupervisoreveryotherweek.Sheusedthesamestandardtemplateforherupdatesthatsheusedforherteam.Shelistedtheprojects,theirstatus,anyaccomplishments,andanybarriers.Jessicawasreportingonwhatshewascomfortablewith,whatshewouldwanttohaveknown,andwhatshethoughthersupervisorwantedtoknow.Healwaysnoddedandmadesomenotes,buthealsoroutinelyaskedJessicaquestionsaboutthedetailsofthefinancialstatements.SometimesJessicawaspreparedandsometimesshewasnot.ItgavehersupervisortheimpressionthatJessicaeitherwasn’tinformedordidn’tcareaboutthedetails,specificallythefinancialdetailsthatthesupervisorcaredverymuchabout.

Atherannualperformancereview,Jessicawassurprisedtobetoldthatherinattentiontothesedetailswasanegative.Shehadworkedatthecompanyforyears,andthiswasthefirsttimeshehadreceivedthisfeedback.Theexpectationsofthecompanyand,moreimportant,hersupervisorhadshifted.Oncesherealizedthatthiswascriticalinformationforhersupervisorandthat

Oncesherealizedthatthiswascriticalinformationforhersupervisorandthatshewasn’tmeetingexpectations,Jessicarevisedhermeetingstobeginwithafinancialreviewandwaspreparedtoansweranyquestions.

Shealsotriedtoincorporatethisnewrevisionintoherregularteammeetings.Afterthethirdmeetingwithhernewfinancialreviewagendaitem,shecouldsensethatthegroupwasshuttingdown.Outsideofthemeeting,Jessicaaskedoneofherdirectreportswhytheteamwasdisengagedduringthemeetings.Hesaidsomeoftheteamfeltasiftheywerebeingbeatenupinfrontoftheirpeers.Furthermore,manyofthedetailsdidnotpertaintoeveryoneintheroom,sotheywerehavingahardtimefollowingtheconversation.

AlthoughJessicahadbeenaleaderatthecompanyforoverthreeyears,shehadan“aha”momentthatbroughtheranewunderstanding.Upuntilthattime,shehadbeenprovidingtheinformationthatshethoughtwasimportant.Herlessoninallofthiswasthatleadershipwasnotabouther.Sherealizedthattheinformationherbosswantedwasverydifferentfromwhatherpeersneeded.Andbothwerecontributingtoherleadershipstory.Forherboss,thestorywasabouttheextenttowhichJessicaunderstoodthebusinessandtrackedthedetails.Forherteam,thestorybeingwrittenwasthatJessicacaredlessabouttheiraccomplishmentsthanshedidaboutbottom-linedetails.

Identifyingyouraudienceisnotthedifficultpart.Thechallenge,rather,istodeterminewhattheyalreadybelieveaboutyourleadershipstory,theirexpectations,whattheyperceiveasimportant,andhowthatalignswithyourviews.Peopleinyouraudiencewillbelookingtoeitherholdupyourleadershipstoryagainsttheirexpectationsorvalidatetheirexistingperceptionsaboutyourleadershipstory.Inotherwords,theywilllooktomakesenseofwhattheyknoworperceiveaboutyou.Yourjobistodeterminewhatisimportanttothem.Itisalsohelpfultoknowtheorganization’svaluesandwhereyoufitwithintheorganization.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTKNOWINGYOURAUDIENCES

1.Whoareyourkeyaudiencesthatyouinteractwithmostfrequently?2.Whoareyourmostimportantaudiences?3.Whichaudiences’needsdoyouhavethebestunderstandingof?Whichdoyouknowleast?

4.Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneed

4.Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneedtoknow?Why?

5.Whathappenswhenyourleadershipstoryisnotaccuratelyrepresentedtoorbyothers?

Whenitcomestoidentifyingyouraudiences,thereareafewkeygroupsthatyoushouldinclude:yourdirectreports,yoursupervisor,andyourpeers.Eachofthesegroupshasadifferentneedaroundunderstandingyourleadershipstory.

Itisimportantthatyouidentifytheneedsofeachaudience,andIwouldsuggestthatyouleavelittletochancewhenitcomestohowothersperceiveyourstory.Interpretationcanbetheenemyofauthorship.Whilesomegeneralneedsaretypicallyassociatedwitheachgroup,yourchallengeistofurtheridentifyyouraudiencesanddeterminethespecificneedswithinthem.

Toeffectivelycommunicateyourleadershipstorytoyouraudience,youneedtoshowempathyandestablishrelevance.Youneedtobeabletoputyourselfintheirshoes.Thebestwaytoshowempathyandknowwhatisrelevantfordifferentaudiencesistoaskthem.Whatisontheirmind?Whatconcernsdotheyhave?Whatinspiresandmotivatesthem?Understandingthiswillallowyoutoframeyourleadershipstoryaccordingly.Remember,thiscomponentofyourleadershipstoryisnotaboutyou;itisaboutthem.

Althougheachaudienceisimportantinitsownright,youshouldthinkaboutthefrequencyofyourinteractionwithaparticularaudienceandtheimportanceofthemessagerelativetothataudience.Yourmessagemaybeimportant,andthereismoreroomforcoursecorrectioninyourstoryforthosewithwhomyoufrequentlyinteract.Ontheotherhand,ifyouinteractinfrequentlywithanaudienceandthemessagetothemisparticularlyimportant,youmustbepreparedandgetthemessageofyourleadershipstoryright.

Foryourdirectreports,youneedtostateyourintentionsasaleader.Referbackto“Step1:DefineYourPlot”forthis.Theyshouldknowwhatleadershipmeanstoyou,whatyouvalue,andyourexpectations.Theyneedtohaveaclearsenseofwhereyouaretakingtheteamandhowyouintendtogetthere.Theyneedtobemotivatedandinspired.Andtheyneedtobeprovidedwithfeedback,berewardedandrecognized,andknowhowyouwillsupporttheirdevelopment.

Yoursupervisorneedstoknowhowyouwillsupporthertoaccomplishhergoalsandthebroaderorganizationalgoals.Referbackto“Step4:DevelopYourTheme”forthis.Insimpleterms,shewillwanttoknowhowyouwillgetresults.Shewillbekeenonyourcapabilitytogetthejobdone;howyouhandleorganizationalissues,challenges,andopportunities;whetheryouhaveexecutive

presence;howyoucommunicatewithherandotherleaders;andavarietyofotherpossibilities.Yourjobistodeterminewhatyoursupervisorwantsandhowyoucanbestsupporther,evenifyoudonotagreewithheroneverything.Thereisaconceptcalledmanagingupthatreferstohowwellyouworkwithyoursupervisorandkeephimorherinformed.

Yourpeerswillwanttoknowhowwellyoucollaboratewithandsupporttheminachievingmutuallydependentgoals.Referbackto“Step2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters”and“Step3:PrepareforConflict”forthis.Youwilllikelyneedtoworkdifferentlywithprotagoniststhanyoudowithantagonists.

Keepinmindthatthereareothercharactersinyourstorywhoareneitherprotagonistsnorantagonists.Thepointisthatyouhavemanyaudiencestoconsider,withdifferingneedsandexpectationsofyourleadership.Youmayverylikelyhavetoadaptovertimeandperhapsevenmodifyyourleadershipinavarietyofsituations.Thistakesself-awarenessinwhoyouareasaleader.

Inadditiontoknowingwhoyouraudiencesareandwhattheycareabout,howyoucommunicatewithyourvariousaudiencesisimportant.Technologyhasbecomeapopularandsometimesusefulmeansforcommunication.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,communicatingviatechnology,whilefastandefficient,isone-dimensional.Ittendstobeliteralandsubjecttotheinterpretationoftherecipient.Sowhencommunicatingaspectsofyourleadershipstory,istechnologyafriendorafoe?Thatisforyoutodecide.Onesuggestiontoconsideristhatyoushouldnevercommunicateanythingviatechnologythatcouldelicitanemotionalresponse.

Bob’sAudience“Tim,allalongIthoughtaudiencemeantthepeopleIleadonsomething,”Bobsaid.

“Itdoesmeanthat,”Iasserted.“OK,butduringthissession,youtalkedaboutdifferentaudiences,includingtheCEO.Iamnotleading

uppermanagement!”heclaimed.“Yes,youare—ifyouareasuccessfulleader,”Isaidemphatically,playingwithhimatad.Hehadtheeyesofadeerintheheadlights.“SoIhavetoknowwhataCEOwantsinmyleadership

ability,andthatmightbedifferentfromwhatpeersanddirectreportsneedtoknow?”“Precisely.Inthelastsession,Iaskedifyouhaveeverhadagranddesignyouwantedtopulloff.Most

leadershavehadagranddesign.That’swhatleadersdo.Now,whomdoyouthinkthoseleadershadtoconvinceaboutthosebig,strategicinitiatives?Itwasn’tjustpeersorpotentialteammembers.Thoseleadersspentdays,weeks,pullingtogetherproposalsandcostanalysesandPowerPoints,andthencorralledtheCEOandexecutivestaff.Sure,thebigguyscouldhavesaidno,buttheywererisktakerstoo.Andtheysensedsomething.Theirintuitionabouttheleaderkickedin.Bob,they,too,wantedtobeledbyleaders

sensedsomething.Theirintuitionabouttheleaderkickedin.Bob,they,too,wantedtobeledbyleaderswhoseleadershipstoryhadcredandwhohadahistoryofpullingoffbigstuff.Getitnow?Haven’tyoumadeproposalstothebrassbefore?”

“Sure,Ihave.Sometimestheysayyes,andsometimestheysayno.”“Nokidding?Theysometimessayno?Bob,thanksfortellingmethat!”Isaidaswebothlaughed.

WhatBobwasgettingissimple:Practicebeingaleadertoallyouraudiences,andtheyesratemightclimb.Steeply.

QuickTips

ToKnowYourAudience

1.Testthewaterswithselectindividualsbytellingthemaspectsofyourleadershipstory.Gaugetheirreactiontowhatyousaidandhowyousaiditbyaskingforfeedback.Afterward,don’tnecessarilychangeyourmessage,butconsiderreframingitforthataudience.

2.Findspecificexamplesandstoriesofwhatconstitutessuccessfulleadershipatyourcompany.

3.Understandand/ordefinethevisionofyourcompanyorteam,andknowhowyourpersonalmissionsupportsthegreatervision.

STEP8

MaximizeMomentsofTruth

Life–andyourleadershipstory–ismadeupofaseriesofmoments.Whenthereissomethingtobegainedorlost,Icallthesemomentsoftruth.Momentsoftrutharedistinctopportunitiestoshareorreinforceyourleadershipstory.Itistheseeventsthatmakeyourleadershipstorymemorable.Tomakeyourleadershipstorystick,yourgoalisfortheseeventstobeaspositiveandtruetoyourleadershipstoryaspossible.

Let’ssayyouarewatchingabasketballgame.Ifyouareaskedtorecallthatgameimmediatelyafterward,youwillprobablyrememberagoodnumberofdetails.Evenso,youarenotlikelytoremembereverypass,shot,ordribble,eventhoughtheymighthavebeenimportantinthemoment.Astimegoesby,youarelikelytorememberevenfewerdetails.That’sjusthowmemoryworks.

Ontheotherhand,inthatsamebasketballgame,youarelikelytoremembersomethingamazingthathappened—perhapsitwasaslamdunkorshotatthe

somethingamazingthathappened—perhapsitwasaslamdunkorshotattheendtowinthegame,orperhapsitwasamissedshot.Youaremorelikelytoremembersomethingoutoftheordinary.Thinkofamomentoftruthasagreatawakening,arevelationthatchangesasignificantpartofyourviewoflife.Inshort,amomentoftruthisnevermomentary.Itlasts.Long.

Relatingthistoyourlifeandcareer,youmightencounteronlyafewdifference-makingmoments—ormomentsoftruth—andtheyneedtobemaximized.Howareyoupreparedforthosemoments?Areyousurethatyouwillidentifythemasmomentsoftruth,orwilltheyjustbemomentary?Somemaywellbenegativetruths.Andintheeventthattheydon’tgoyourway,howareyoupreparedtohandlethosemoments?Doyoulearnfromthemsothatyouarebetterpreparedforthenextone?

Kevinisnotonetotalkabouthisaccomplishments.Hethinksthatwouldsoundasifhewerebragging.Soinstead,hemaintainsalowprofileandkeepstheaccomplishmentsofhisteamandhispersonalaccomplishmentstohimself.Whenaskedbyhisbossaboutupdates,hesharessomesubstantialaccomplishmentsbutdoessoinaratherblandway—asjustpartofaone-pagebulletedweeklysummary.

Hehasnoticedthatanotherteam,ledbyKristine,hasbeengettinglotsofkudosandrecognitionfromleadersacrosstheorganization.Kevinwonderswhatthebigdealis.SeveralmonthsgobywithafewmoreaccoladesforKristine’steam,andthentheorganizationannouncesthatKristineandthreemembersofherteamaregettingpromotedforallthehardworktheyhavedoneandtheircontributionstothebusiness.

Timingiscriticalwhenitcomestobuildingandcommunicatingyourleadershipstory.Goodfortunefavorstheprepared.Youhaveanopportunity—Iwouldsayanobligation—tobepreparedandtobeproactiveinmakingthemostofyourmomentsoftruth.Thinkaboutthefollowingreflectivequestionstoprepareforyourmomentsoftruth.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOHELPMAXIMIZEMOMENTSOFTRUTH1.Whataresomespecificopportunitiesforyoutoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?

2.Whatdoyouseeasyourmomentsoftruth?3.Howcanyoubestbepreparedforunanticipatedopportunitiestoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?

leadershipstoryoraspectsofit?4.Whataresomeadditionalopportunitiesforcontactwithkeyaudiences?5.Howdoyouutilizemomentsoftruthasatooltolearnandteachothers?

Momentsoftruthcanbeplannedorunanticipated,andtheycanbeformal(e.g.,meetings)orinformal(e.g.,chanceencountersandcasualconversations).Plannedmomentsoftruthcanincludeeventssuchasstartinganewjob,joininganewteamororganization,one-on-onemeetings,orpresentations.Theoperativewordhereisplanned.Youseethemcoming,andyouneedtoplanforthem.

Andevenwiththeseplannedmomentsoftruth,tellingyourleadershipstorycantakeonanumberofvariations,fromsubtletodirect.Forexample,ifyouarestartinganewteamorproject,youhaveanopportunitytotellyourleadershipstory.Itmaybetoyouradvantagetobeclearaboutyourintentionsandexpectationsasaleader.

Unplannedmomentsoftruthcantakeonanumberofforms.Forexample,youmayhaveachanceencounterwithasupervisororcolleague,ormeetsomeonenewataprofessionalconference.Noteverythingshouldbecompletelyscriptedbyyou.

Whethertheyareplannedorunanticipated,beingpreparedforyourmomentsoftruthrequiresstrongself-awarenessandpreparation.Thosemomentsareanopportunitytoreinforceandbuilduponyourleadershipstory.Theyareanopportunitytoclarify,inspire,andenlistotherprotagonists.

Youarenotnecessarilylookingforvolumewhenitcomestothesemoments.Infact,youshouldbecautiousaboutovercommunicatingyourleadershipstoryortryingtoohard.Thatmaylookliketellingeverybodyeverythingallthetime.Thinkqualityofencounteroverquantity.

Youandyourleadershipstorymaybejudgedbyyouractionsduringthesemomentsoftruthasmuchasbyyourinaction.Areyoucoolandprepared?Orareyouflustered?Doyouspeakupandofferinsights,ordoyousitback?Whatisimportantistocompletelyunderstandyourmessage—yourbeliefsasaleader,aswellasyourcapabilitiesandlimitations.Youneedtoanticipatetheunanticipated.

Buthowdoyoudothat?Youneedtoconstantlyworkonscenarios—thosepossibilities—inyourmind.Gooverthemjustasyouwouldrehearseforanimportantpresentation.

Itisequallyimportanttolookatthedarksideofthisequation.Missedopportunitiesandlackofpreparationfortheunanticipatedcansetyourleadershipstoryback.

leadershipstoryback.AshleywasanewleaderIworkedwith.Sheverymuchwantedtoimpress

hercolleagues,hersupervisor,andakeysetofcustomers.Shewasalwaysquicktovolunteertoleadprojectsasawaytoshowherinitiativeandcapabilities.Shealwayssaid,“Igotit,”onlytoregularlyfallshortofexpectationswithmissedtimelinesandprojectsthatdidnotrepresentneedsorexpectations.Whileshebelievedshewasbeingagreatleaderandshowinggreatinitiative,hernarrativewasbeingwrittenandreinforcedwitheverypassing“Igotit.”Ashleyhadblownseveralmomentsoftruth.Anysinglemisswouldnothavereinforcedthisstory,butoverarelativelyshortamountoftime,shebecameknownacrossallofherkeystakeholdergroupsassomeonewhodidnotgetit.

Themessageforyou?Setrealisticexpectationsaboutwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader.Youshouldunderpromiseandoverdeliver.Youcangetinyourownwayandevenderailyourleadershipstory.Or,withpreparationforandmaximizingofmomentsoftruth,youcanbeyourownbestchampion.

Bob’sMomentsofTruth

Bobhashadseveralmomentsoftruthsofar.Heispickingupthecuesforhisleadershipstory,stepbystep.

“Iamcuriousaboutsomethingrelatedtowhenyougotthislatestjob,”Ibegan.“Didanyoneontheinterviewteamaskyousomethinglike“Bob,what’sthebiggestinitiativeyouled?”or“Bob,whatwasthelongesttimelineyouhadforaproject?”

“Yeah.Ididgetaskedbothofthosequestions,nowthatyoumentionit,Tim.”“Youhavejustarrivedatanothermomentoftruth,Bob.Theyareexpectingbiggerthings,andyoucan’t

waitanylongertowrite,direct,andactoutyourleadershipstory,”Isaidfirmly.

QuickTips

ToRecognizeandMaximizeYourMomentsofTruth

1.Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,presentations,etc.).

2.Createyourownmomentsoftruthbygettingactivelyinvolvedinprojects.Volunteerwhenyouknowyoucanexceedexpectationsthataddvaluetothebusinessorsolveachallengingorcomplexproblem.(Note:donotovercommitoroverpromise.)

3.Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethe

3.Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethebusiness.(Note:thisisnotabouttrackingalistofcomplaints,butabouthavinggenuineandrealisticideasforwhereyou[and/orothers]couldimprovethebusiness.)Lookfortherighttimeandaudiencetosharethoseideas.

STEP9

ActionsSpeakLouderThanWords

Thelanguageyouuseisawindowintoyou,andsoareyouractions.Youcertainlyneedtobecognizantofwhatyouandotherssayaboutyourleadershipstory,butyouractionsareanotherveryimportantwayyouexpressyourleadershipstory.

Asaleader,youareonstagevirtuallyatalltimes.Youractionsmustalignwithyourstory.Yourleadershipstorywillbedefinedbyyouractionsbecauseotherswillbelookingtovalidatetheirperceptionsaboutleadershipwithyourstory.So,whatyousay,whatyoudo,andyourleadershippresencearenotthreeseparatenotions.Together,theymakeupyourleadershipstory.

Whenyourwordsandactionsdonotmatch,yourcredibilitywillsuffer.Thelackofcredibilityorconsistencywillthenbecomepartofyourstory.Credibilityreferstothealignmentbetweenwhatyousayandwhatyoudo.Doyoudowhatyousay,anddopeoplebelievewhatyousay?

Amoreimportantaspectofyourleadershipstoryisauthenticity.Authenticityreferstotheextenttowhichyourbeliefsarealignedwithyourwordsandyouractions.Itisadeeperconnectionandgetsatthecoreofwhoyouareasaleader.Toincreaseauthenticity,youagainneedtohaveastrongself-awarenessofwhatyoubelieveandvalueasaleader.“Step1:DefineYourPlot”providesthefoundationforanauthenticleadershipstory.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTTHEROLEOFACTIONSANDOTHERNONVERBALCOMMUNICATION1.Towhatextentcanpeoplereadyouremotions?2.Whatdoesyourimage—yourstyle,attire,officespace,etc.—sayaboutyouasaleader?

asaleader?3.Howdoesyourattitudeimpactothersaroundyou?4.Howwouldyoudescribeyourexecutivepresence?Howwouldothersdescribeit?

5.Howmightyouboostyourimage?

Whenyouwanttofocusontellingyourleadershipstory,youneedtobeawareoftheactionsyoutake,aswellasyournonverbalcommunicationandpresence.Italltiestogether.Theseaspectsofyourleadershipstorycontributetoyourconfidence,image,credibility,andtrustworthiness.Forexample,youcannotsaythatyouhaveanopen-doorpolicyandthennotbeavailable.Or,youcannotsaythatyouvaluecollaborationandthennotseekinputfromothers.Youcannotsaythatyouvaluebuildingstrongrelationshipsandthensitinyourofficeallday.

Iknowaleader,Hannah,whowasjustbeginningherroleasaleader.Hannahwouldoftensaythatshewasagoodleader.Myresponsetoherwas,“Don’tsayyouareagoodleader.Gobeagoodleader.”Ifgreatleadershiprequiresyoutoinspireandmotivateothers,youneedtoactivelyengageothers.Relationships,again,arekey.Thinkabouthowyouarephysicallypresent,visible,andavailabletoyourteam.Thinkaboutwhetheryouseekthemoutortheyhavetoseekyouout.Again,ifthereareparticularaspectsofleadershipthatareimportanttoyou—ifyoubelievethattheyareessentialforgreatleadershipandacorepartofyourleadershipstory—youneedtotakeactionsthatareconsistentwiththosebeliefs.Forexample,ifbeingaccessibleisimportanttoyou,doyouseekothersoutproactivelyorwaitforthemtocometoyou?Youractionsspeakvolumesabouthowyouvalueaccessibility.

Youneedtobetruetoyourself.Itmayrequireoperatingoutsideofyourcomfortzone.Minimally,itwillrequireastrongsenseofself-awareness.Youmaythinkyouareagoodorgreatleader.Ifyouractionsdonotsupportthat,othersareunlikelytoperceiveyouthatway,nomatterhowloudlyandhowoftenyouproclaimit.Asintheexamplesabove,ifyoubelieveinbuildingstrong,collaborativerelationships,youmusttakeappropriateaction.Walkaroundandgettoknowyourteammembers.

Yourleadershipstorywillalsoexistintheheartsandmindsofothersrelativetoyourleadershippresence.Leadershippresenceisachoice.Andsinceothersaremakingjudgmentsaboutyou,youneedtoconsiderhowyoudress,howyoukeepyourworkspace,yourbodylanguage,yourexpressions,yourmood,yourtone,andhowyoucarryyourself.Doyouappearasifyoucareornot?Howdoesyourstylefitwiththeorganization?Youneedtolookaroundandmakea

doesyourstylefitwiththeorganization?Youneedtolookaroundandmakeadetermination.

Joshledateamofsevenpeople,rangingfrombrand-newemployeesfreshoutofschooltoseasonedveterans.NoonequestionedJosh’sintelligence.AndJoshcapitalizedonthatwithasaying,“It’swhat’sinyourheadthatmatters,aboveallelse.”

ThatshowedinotherareasofJosh’slifeatwork.Hisworkspacewasmessyandappeareddisorganized,althoughheclaimedthatheknewwhereeverythingwas.Whilemostleadersinthecompanyworepressedshirtsandasportcoat,Joshfrequentlyworeanuntuckedgolfshirt.Manypeoplelaugheditoff.SomeofthemorejunioremployeesevenemulatedJosh’sattire.Theysaid,“Hey,itworksforJosh.”

ThentwoofJosh’speersweregivenadditionalleadershipresponsibilities—onewasastraightpromotion,andtheotherwasahighlydesirableprojectthatJoshwasasqualifiedtohandle,ifnotmoreso.Theprojectwasgoingtohavehighvisibilityforthecompany,forthepersonleadingit,andfortheteamworkingonit.

Joshwenttohisbossandaskedwhyhehadnotgottentheopportunity,andhisbossexplainedthatwhiletechnicalknowledgewasakeyconsideration,itwasnottheonlyone.Giventheproject’svisibility,itwasequallyimportantthatthepersonleadingthisprojectreflectthecompanywellthroughhisorherprofessionaldemeanor.

BobBalancesWordswithAction“Idon’tgetit,Tim.WhatJoshworeisunimportant.Hey,we’vegonefromcasualFridaystocasualweeksinthelast10years.Andlotsofcreativepeoplearequitedisorganized.Youknow,it’stheleft-side,right-sidebrainstuff.Somepeoplearelogical,andothersareintuitiveandsometimeserratic,”Bobsaidwithsomefrustration.

“OK,Bob,let’sputthisinperspective.Peoplemakejudgments,oftensubliminallyorwithoutthinkingoffairness,”Itoldhim.“Putyourselfinthebigguy’schair.You’rethebigboss,andyouhaveachoiceforthatbigstrategicinitiative.Ifallthingsareequal,whichpersondoyouchoosetoleadit?ThepersonwithPost-itnotesstuckalloverthecubicle,withpilesofpapersonthefloor,whooftenshowsuplookinglikehesleptinhisclothes?Orthepersonwhoisnotlikethat—keepinmind,allotherthingsareequal—someonewhodoesn’ttriggersnickers.Ifyou’retheboss,youmighthavetospendtimeovercomingallkindsofobjections,suchas‘Yousureyouwantthatpersonrunningthisthing?’Allthingsequal,yougowiththeeasysell,Bob.”

“Butlet’sgetbacktome,”hesaid.“I’mnotanyofthosethings.”“Maybeso,butactionsspeaklouderthanwords.Givenwhatyou’vetoldme,youapparentlyaren’tvery

engagingwithevenyourpeergroup,withwhomyoucouldinteract,share,andsolvecommonproblems,encouragingandsupportingeachother.Thatlonerangerthingdefinesyourleadership—orlackthereof,”I

encouragingandsupportingeachother.Thatlonerangerthingdefinesyourleadership—orlackthereof,”Itoldhimwithsomehesitation.

QuickTips

ToMakeYourActionsandOtherNonverbalCommunicationSpeakLouderThanWords

1.Alwayslookonelevelormoreupintheorganizationtoseehowleadersdress,carrythemselves,andkeeptheirworkspace.Modelthatandsettheexample.

2.Makealistofwhereyouandotherswouldrateyouhighlywithregardtoexecutivepresenceandwhereyouneedtoimprove.Howdoothersviewyourpresence?Writeaspecificplanforhowyouwillimproveyourexecutivepresenceandcreategreateralignment.

3.Walkaroundandinteractwithindividualsonyourteamregularly.Besuretogotothemandgettoknowthemonapersonallevel,andseethattheyhavetheresourcesandsupporttogettheirjobdone.

4.Ifyouractionsandwordseverdonotalign,recognizeitandrecalibrateyourstoryoractionsaccordingly.

STEP10

EnlistOtherstoTellYourLeadershipStory

MostleadersIworkwithareuncomfortabletellingtheirleadershipstory.Theyfeelitistoomuchlikeself-promotion.Whetheryoufallintothiscategoryornot,thisstepisforyoubecauseIhavefoundthoseinstinctstobemostlyonpoint.Youhavetobecarefulaboutwhatyousayaboutyourselfversuswhatotherssayaboutyou.

Becauseyouhaveavestedinterestinyourself,yourleadershipstoryisbesthandledthroughthewordsofothers.Ifyousingyourownpraises,peoplemaybeskepticalorevenresistant.Theymaylookforwaystodiscountyouorevencontradictyou.Thischapterfocusesonwhomtoenlisttotellaspectsofyourleadershipstory,howtoenlistthem,andwhy.

Petewasanextremelyhardworker.Heledateamof14professionals,andworkrequiredhimtotravelalmosteverymonth.Althoughitwaslogisticallydifficulttokeepupwithalltheobligationsofleadingateam,itwasapriorityfor

difficulttokeepupwithalltheobligationsofleadingateam,itwasapriorityforPete.

Duringonestretch,hewasoutoftheofficefornearlythreeweeks.OneoftheweeksinvolvedaseriesofmeetingsthatincludedGeorgia,thecompany’sseniorvicepresidentofmarketing.InacasualconversationwithGeorgia,thetopiccameupthatitwasdifficultforPetetobeawayfromhisfamilyandtheteamforanytime,butthisthree-weekrunwasparticularlyhardonhim.Petedidn’tcomplainaboutthetravel;hesimplystatedthatitwasalongrun.

Thefollowingweek,whilePetewasstilltraveling,Georgiawasbackintheofficeandatameetingwiththeleadersofeachofthedepartments.Thesubjectofworkplaceflexibilitycameup,andaseniorleaderfromanotherdepartmentsaid,“HaveyounoticedhowmuchPetehasbeenoutoftheoffice?Itseemslikeheisneverhere.”Georgiareplied,“Nowwaitaminute.Peteisoutoftheofficeonworktravel.Heisworkinghardandcommittedtothiscompany.”HadGeorgianotbeeninthatmeetingandspokeninPete’sdefense,thestorythatmayhavebeenwrittenwasthatPetewasoutoftheoffice,takingadvantageofworkplaceflexibility.Instead,thestorythatwasreinforcedwasthatPetewasdedicatedtothecompanyandwillingtomakeasacrificeforit.

RecruitingCredibilitySubstitutes

Anyoneyouenlisttotellyourleadershipstoryactsasacredibilitysubstitute.Inhis1998HarvardBusinessReviewarticle“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion,”JayCongerhighlightstheimportanceofcredibilitysubstitutes.Henotesthatcredibilitygrowsoutofexpertiseandrelationships,andcredibilitysubstitutesaretrustedexpertswhosecredibilitybecomesasubstituteforyourown.14

Thisreinforcestheideathatwhomyouknow—orratherwhoknowsyourleadershipstory—canbeasimportantaswhatyouknow.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,youcanenlistcredibilitysubstitutesbytakinginitiativeandvolunteeringtogetinvolvedwithprojectsthatyoucandowell,establishingstrongrelationshipsandshowcasingyourcapabilities.Butthistakestime.Iamremindedofthesayingthatittakes100actstobuildtrustandonlyonetotearitdown.Thatholdstrueforcredibilityaswell.

REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTBEFOREENLISTINGOTHERSTOTELLYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY1.Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?

1.Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?2.Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyourcredibilitysubstitutes?Why?

3.Whatwouldyouwantotherstosayaboutyourleadershipstorywhenyou’renotaround?

4.Howcanyouplantseedswithothersforyourtrueleadershipstorytogrow?5.Howcanyouensurethatpeoplewithinyourteamandorganizationknowwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader?

Credibilitysubstitutesarepowerfulbecausetheyhavelessofavestedinterestorpotentialforbias,andtheycanvouchforyou.Evenwithcredibilitysubstitutes,itmatterswhothesubis.Ifasenior-levelleaderwhoisrespectedacrosstheorganizationtellsyourleadershipstory,itwillbenefitmorethanifanantagonististellingit.Itisbesttohavemultiple,credibleindividualssupportingyourleadershipstory.Youhavetoletpeoplegettoknowyou,andyouneedtobuildrelationshipsbeyondthesuperficialforthattohappen.Thetruthofthematteris,youhavetomakeaneffort.

Awordofcautionhere:watchyourmotivesforgettingtoknowpeopleandhavingthemgettoknowyou.Ifyourmotivesarestrictlyforself-promotion,itrarelywillworktoyouradvantage.Peopleseethroughthatstuff.Anditdoesnothavetobeallabouthoweachother’sweekendwas.Yourcredibilitysubstituteswillcomefrompeoplewhotrustthatyouaregoingtohelpthem,theorganization,thedepartment,andtheteamtolookgood.Thetruthis,peoplemakejudgmentsallthetime.Someareconsciousandsomemaybesubconscious.Buttheyareaskingthesebasicquestions:Canyoubetrustedwithbiggerresponsibility?Togetthejobdone?Toreflectwellontheorganization?

Therecanbeseveralsourcesofcredibilitysubstituteswhenitcomestotellingyourleadershipstory.Forstarters,youneedprotagoniststotellyourstory.Theprotagonistsyouidentifiedin“Step2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters”provideagreatstart.Thesearepeopleyouidentifiedwhobelieveinyou.Theywanttoseeyousucceed.

Antagonistscanplayanimportantroleaswell.Butyoumustreestablishyourrelationshipwiththemandensurethattheyaccuratelyknowkeypointsofyourleadershipstory.Sinceyouhaveidentifiedsomeinitialpotentialantagonists,yourjobistoestablishamoreconstructiverelationshipwiththem.Youwillbestaccomplishthisthroughidentifyingcommonground,establishingallegiances,andperhapsseekingfirsttounderstandtheirpointofviewwhileclarifyingyours.Youmaynotconverteachantagonisttoaprotagonist,butthestrongerthe

yours.Youmaynotconverteachantagonisttoaprotagonist,butthestrongertherelationshipsyoubuild,thebetteroffyou(andyourleadershipstory)willbe.

Therolethatothersplayinyourstorycanbestbeillustratedwithastoryfromoutsideofthebusinessenvironment.Agoodfriendofmineandaformercolleague,Mary,toldmethisstory,anditisaperfectlyappropriateexampleofenlistingotherstotellyourstory.Shewaspartofagroupoffriendswhoperiodicallygottogethersocially,usuallyinvolvingfoodandlivelyconversation.Therewasanewperson,Jackie,whohadjustbecomefriendswithothersinthegroup.MaryhadnotyethadthechancetomeetJackie,butJackiehadbeentoseveralsocialeventswithsomeoftheotherfriends.AfteronesocialeventthatMarycouldnotattend,acoupleoffriendstoldMarythatshejusthadtomeetJackie.Amongotherthings,theysaid,Jackiemadethebestdeviledeggs.Ashorttimewentby,andafteranothersocialeventthatMarywasunabletoattend,sheheardfromseveralotherfriends,whosaid,amongotherthings,thatJackiemadethebestdeviledeggs.Sheaskedwhethertheyhadalltriedthemfirsthand,andtohersurprise,onlyhalfofthepeoplehadtriedthem.Jackiehadbecomeknownforoutstandingdeviledeggsevenifpeoplehadnotexperiencedthempersonally.Ithadbecomepartofherstory.Alittletimewentby,andMaryhadtheopportunitytotryJackie’sdeviledeggs.Shethoughttheyweregood.However,herexpectationshadbeensetsohigh,sheconcludedthatJackie’seggswerenotanybetterthanotherdeviledeggsshehadhad.

BobPondersWhomtoEnlist“HowamIgoingtorecruitthesecredsubs,Tim?”Bobasked.“Iamnewtothiscompany.”

“Youneedtochangeyoursenseofisolation,foronething,Bob,”Ireplied.“Youneedtoembraceasenseofcollegialitywithpeers.Gettoknowthem.Startalunchgroupwiththem,ormeetforbreakfaston,say,thefirstFridayofeverymonth.Makeitregularsothatit’sontheircalendars.Betheleaderofyourpeers,startingnextweek!Withdirectreports,doaone-on-oneeveryweek.Also,justdropintochat…‘Hey,how’sitgoing?’Showpeopleyouunderstandtheirconcernsaboutstuff.Listen…andthatdoesn’tmeanyoualwaysmustagree.Ifyoulisten,theywilllistenandunderstandwhatisonyourmind.Youdon’thaveanyantagonistsatthisplace—yet—sodon’tsowtheseedsofantagonism,”Itoldhim.“Plantyourleadership.Taketheinitiative.”

“Ihearyou…Ihearyou,”Bobsaid.AndthistimeIthinkhebegantounderstandthecareercrossroads,theopportunity,hewasfacing.

QuickTips

ToEnlistOtherstoTellYourStory

1.Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnabout

1.Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnaboutwhotheyareandwhattheydo.

2.Askotherstodescribewhatyouarelikewhenyouareatyourbest.3.Identifyatleastthreecredibilitysubstitutesforyou.

CONCLUSION

Leadershipisagift—agiftthatrequiresyoutosetadirection;motivate,inspire,anddevelopothers;anddeliverresultsthatmatter.Itisalsoajourney.Itisaboutyourexperiencesandtheinfluenceyouhaveonothers.Leadershipiscertainlyabouttheworkthatgetsdone,butitismuchmoreabouthowtheworkgetsdoneandtherelationshipsalongtheway.

Agreatstorycanmotivateandinspireothers.Itcanimpartamessage.Thinkabouthowyourleadershipstoryimpartsamessage,inspires,ormotivates.Remember,yourleadershipstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers,andyouareconstantlyonstageasaleader.Sometimesyoucanrehearseorplanahead.Othertimes,improvisationisneeded.Thosearoundyouwillhaveexpectations,assumptions,interpretations,andperceptionsthatimpactyourstory.Foryoutobeatyourbest,others’perceptionsofyoumustbealignedwithyourstory.

Considerthatyourleadershipstoryhasalltheelementsofagoodstory:plot,characters,conflict,theme,andsetting.Theseareeachinstrumentsbywhichyoucanunderstandwhereyouarealignedandwherethereisworktodoonyourstory.Nomatterwhereyouareinyourjourney,thereissomethingtobegainedbyusingthestoryasaframeworktoconsideryourpast,present,andfuture.Understandingyourleadershipstoryprovidesasolidfoundationforwhoyouare,whatyoubelievein,andwhatyouvalueasaleader.Itisareminderoftheimportantcharactersinyourstory,howyouhandleconflict,andwhatittakesforyoutobeatyourbest.

Itisimperativethatyoubeawareofwhatyoubelieveaboutyourselfandwhatothersperceiveasapathtowardauthenticity.Establishingthatawarenesswillallowyoutohavegreaterownershipandalignmentofyourstory.Youcannowbettermitigateinaccuraciesinyourstory,suchasbeingperceivedasinsecure,arrogant,orunreliable…orbeingoverlookedaltogether.Youshouldbeonyourwaytohavinggreatercontrolofyourleadershipnarrative,orpointofview.Andyouneedtocontinuetochallengeyourownassumptionsaboutwhatleadershipmeanstoyouandhowyouwillactasaleader.Youneedtocontinue

tomonitoryourleadershipstory.Understandingandtakingauthorshipofyourleadershipstoryisnotaneasy

task.Itmayrequireyousometimestoconfrontpersonalandinterpersonalissues.Itmayrequireyoutomaketoughdecisions.Avoidanceandinactionmaybetheeasierpath,butcertainlythelessfulfillingone.Additionally,ifyoudon’trecognizeandunderstandyourleadershipstory,youcannotcommunicateitormodifyit.Ontheotherhand,totheextentthatyouunderstandyourstory,youbecometheprimaryauthorofit.Youcanadjustyourstoryanduseittoenergizeandpossiblyeventransformothers.

Reviewing,reflecting,andunderstandingyourleadershipstorymaybetheeasypartoftheprocess,relativelyspeaking.Actionmaybethetoughestpart.And,moreimportant,turningactionsintohabitswillbedifficult.Habitsrequireself-awareness,practice,andfeedback.Turningactionsintogoodhabitshasthepotentialtobetransformational.Whatareyoupreparedtodotoproduceyourbestleadershipstory?Whatisyourcommitmenttoyourleadershipstory?

Aftercompletingtheactivitiesinthisbookandhavingotherscompleteactivities,howdoyoufeelaboutyourleadershipstory?Howhasyourmind-setaboutyourleadershipstoryshifted?Doyoubelieveinyourselfasaleader?Doyouneedtocreateanewstoryorperhapssimplyrefinesomeoftheelementsofyourcurrentstory?Maybeyouneedtochangethewayyourleadershipstoryisperceivedbyothersorpossiblyhowitiscommunicatedtoothers.Anyoftheseactionsrequireself-awarenessandinsightsaboutwhatyouaredoingwell,whatyoucoulddoevenbetter,whatyouareknownfor,andhowyouareperceived.

Thegoodnewsisthatyourleadershipstoryisdynamic.Youcanmodifyit.Youhavetheopportunitytowriteandrewriteyourleadershipstory.Infact,thatisthemarkofgoodleaders:theyareawareoftheirleadershipstoryandcanmakemodificationsasneeded.

Inadditiontoknowingyourmessage,whenitcomestocommunicatingyourstory,youshouldknowwhoyouraudienceis,whattheirperceptionsare,andwhattheywanttohear.Youshouldbeawareofanticipatedmomentsoftruthandpreparedfortheunanticipatedones.Thereismoregoodnews.Youarenotalonewhenitcomestocommunicatingyourleadershipstory.Whileitmaybedauntingtothinkthatyourstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers,iftherightpeoplehaveaccurateperceptionsofit,theirroleascredibilitysubstitutes,champions,andambassadorsofyourstorycanbequitepowerful.

Ihopethatafterreadingthisbook,youareclosertounderstandingyourleadershipstoryandhowothersperceiveit.Thatisessentialforbeingtheprimaryauthorinthenarrativeyouintend—aligningwhoyouare,whatyoubelievein,andwhatyouaspiretobewithothers’understandingofthosethings.

believein,andwhatyouaspiretobewithothers’understandingofthosethings.Ihopethatyouareabletofindinspirationfromwithinandcanexpressthatenergy,enthusiasm,andauthenticitytoothers—tohelpothersgrow,develop,andreachtheirfullpotential,andtohelptheteamandorganizationdothesame.Ihopethatyouareabletomakeyourleadershipstoryanepic.

Bob’sEpilogue:FiveYearsLater

BobandIkeptintouchovertheyears.Inoticedthathehadbeenwiththatnewcompanynowforfiveyears.Thatgotmecurious,soIcontactedhimtosuggestalunch.

Mychallengewhenwehadfirststartedmeetingreallygothimthinking.Hebecamethemanageroveralltheprojectgroups—allofthem!Heinitiatedwhathecalledalotofcross-pollination,atermI’dneverheardhimusebefore.“I’vebeenpleasedwithhowthatopenedupdiscussionandteamwork,”heannounced.“Peoplearen’tafraidtocomeupwithout-of-the-blueideas,evenifsomecan’tfly.”

Twoyearsago,heproposedamajorinitiativethatmanagementapproved.He’sbeenholdingsemiannualteam-unitymeetingsatanoff-siteconferencecenterfarfromthecity.Thegoalistoallowideastoflowwithinthegroup.

Bobhasbeenexperiencingsomethingelsethat’snewtohim.OftenthetopC-levelexecswilldriftdowntohisofficeattheendoftheday,sitdown,andaskhisopinionaboutcompanydirectionandproblems.Far-reachingquestions,what-ifquestions,thekindthatexecutivesdon’taskofordinarymanagers.

ButBobisnolongerordinary.Atthecrossroads,hetooktheroadhehadnottakenbefore,theunchartedroadleadingtoleadership,andhe’sapparentlyfounditasfunas,ifnotmorefunthan,hislonerangerdaysinthecornercubicle.

SoBobwentfromonestorytoanother,fromshellshockabouthowhewasbeingperceivedtoout-of-the-boxproposalsthatgotthebignod.He’sfullyembracedleadershipashisnewprofession.He’slearnedfromothers.Hefoundawaytomakejobsandcareerstransformationalforhispeople.Peoplewanttobeinhislead…andtheyaren’tbuildingtepees!HRtoldhimthesick-dayrateinhisdivisionisthelowestinthecompany.Peopleseemmoreenergizedthanthoseheknewatpastcompanies.Executivesseekhisopinion.He’sprovidedsomegreatdirection.Bobrecognizesnowthathispersonalmissionistocreateleadersofthefuture.

Therealmessageaboutone’sleadershipstoryisthis:Yourstorycontinuesto

Therealmessageaboutone’sleadershipstoryisthis:Yourstorycontinuestobewrittenandrevisedaslongasyouhaveleadershipresponsibilities.Itrequirescareandfeeding.Youmustthinkaboutwhetheryouaretheprimaryauthororothersarewritingit.Bobhasthatclearnow.

Fulldisclosurehere:Bobisacompositeofmanyofmyclients.Ifyouhaveseenyourselfinhisquestionsandconcerns,youhavetakenanimportantstepinwriting,directing,andactinginallthepartsofyourleadershipstory.

Enjoy—andprosper!

RESOURCES

Theresourcesareprovidedtogiveyouquickaccesstotheactivities,reflectivequestions,andtipsfromthroughoutthebook.Althoughallofthepartsofthebookaremeanttogotogetherintoasingleprocesstounderstandandcommunicateyourstory,youmaywanttospendmoretimeandeffortonaparticularaspect.ThatisperfectlyOK.

Goingthroughtheseresourcesisnotmeanttobeaneasy,skim-the-surfaceexercise.Asyougothroughthevariousresources,theintentisthatyoutakeadeeplookwithintobetterunderstandwhoyouareasaleaderandbecometheprimaryauthorofyourleadershipstory.Someoftheactivitiesandquestionsmaybedifficult.Theymaymakeyouuncomfortable.Youmightevenbetemptedtoglossoverthem.Butrememberthattheeffortyougivetotheseresourceswilldirectlyimpactwhatyougetoutofthem.

ActivitiestoDoYourself

UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

Plot

DefineLeadershipWhatDoYouValue?SolidGroundGetExcitedYou’reonaMission

Characters

KeystoUnlockingConnectionsCommonGroundMonitortheEmotionalBankAccountBuildMentorCircles

BuildMentorCirclesThankYou!

Conflict

TheI’sHaveItWhat’sHappening?LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFutureWhatItTakesTheHeartofInnovation

Theme

GiveYourselfaGradeGreatestHits(andMisses)KeepaDiaryMovingOnTheMirror

Setting

Masterful2x2Detour!NewConstructionGratitudeBeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T.

ActivitiestoGivetoOthers

UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

Plot

DefineLeadershipWhatDoYouValue?

Characters

KeystoUnlockingConnectionsMonitortheEmotionalBankAccount

Conflict

LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFutureWhatItTakes

Theme

GiveYourselfaGradeTheMirror

Setting

NewConstructionBeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T.

ReflectiveQuestions

UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

Plot

Whathasbeenmostrewardinginyourcareer?Why?Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwanttomakeadifference/haveimpact?

Whatisimportanttoyouasaleader?Why?Whatinspiresandenergizesyouasaleader?Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplishasaleader?

Characters

Withwhomareyourkeyrelationshipsatwork?Whoimpactsyourabilitytodoyourbestwork,andhowdoyouimpactothers’abilitytodotheirbestwork?

Howcanyoubuildmoresupportersandchampionsofyourleadershipstorythandetractors?

Whatroledoyouplayinyourleadershipstory?Others?(Hero,villain,etc.)Why?

Whoareyourtrustedadvisors?Howwouldothersdescribeyouasaleader?Howwellisyourleadershipstoryalignedwithothers’interpretationofyourleadershipstory?

Conflict

Whathavebeenrecurringcausesofconflictforyouasaleader(e.g.,typesoftasks,people,situations)?

Whatisyourroleinconflict?Howdoyoutypicallyreactto,respondto,orhandleconflict?Howresilientareyou?Whatwouldotherssayabouthowyouhandleconflict?

Whatisyourapproach,outlet,ormechanismforprocessingconflictconstructively?

Howdoyouresolveconflict?Whatimpactdoesthishaveonyourrelationships?Yourabilitytogetthejobdone?

Theme

Whatareyouknownforasaleader(skills,behaviors,attitudes)?Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?Whatareyourstrengthsandareasfordevelopmentasaleader?Whattraits,behaviors,andcharacteristicsareyoumostproudofasaleader?Howdoyoucontinuouslydevelopyourselfasaleaderandteachothers?

Setting

Howdoesyoursettingenableorconstrainyourbestleadershipcapabilities?Whatgetsrewardedandpunishedinyourorganization?Howhaveyourtravelsshapedyourperspectiveasaleader?Wherehaveyoubeenthathasinfluencedyourthinking?

Howcanyoumakethemostofyourcurrentsetting?Wherehaveyouhadthegreatestimpactandexperiencedthegreatestsatisfactionasaleader?Why?

THEARTOFCOMMUNICATINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

KnowYourMessage

What,inyourmind,arethemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Howwouldyoubestsummarizewhoyouareasaleader?Whataretheinspirationalaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Whataretheaspirationalaspects?

aspirationalaspects?Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywouldyouliketofurtherrefine?Howcanyoubuildhabitsandroutinesaroundthinkingaboutyourleadershipstoryandkeymessages?

KnowYourAudience

Whoareyourkeyaudiencesthatyouinteractwithmostfrequently?Whoareyourmostimportantaudiences?Whichaudiences’needsdoyouhavethebestunderstandingof?Whichdoyouknowleast?

Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneedtoknow?Why?

Whathappenswhenyourleadershipstoryisnotaccuratelyrepresentedtoorbyothers?

MaximizeMomentsofTruth

Whataresomespecificopportunitiesforyoutoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?

Whatdoyouseeasyourmomentsoftruth?Howcanyoubestbepreparedforunanticipatedopportunitiestoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?

Whataresomeadditionalopportunitiesforcontactwithkeyaudiences?Howdoyouutilizemomentsoftruthasatooltolearnandteachothers?

MakeYourActionsSpeakLouderThanWords

Towhatextentcanpeoplereadyouremotions?Whatdoesyourimage—yourstyle,attire,officespace,etc.—sayaboutyouasaleader?

Howdoesyourattitudeimpactothersaroundyou?Howwouldyoudescribeyourexecutivepresence?Howwouldothersdescribeit?

Howmightyouboostyourimage?

EnlistOtherstoTellYourStory

Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyour

Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyourcredibilitysubstitutes?Why?

Whatwouldyouwantotherstosayaboutyourleadershipstorywhenyou’renotaround?

Howcanyouplantseedswithothersforyourtrueleadershipstorytogrow?Howcanyouensurethatpeoplewithinyourteamandorganizationknowwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader?

Tips

UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

Plot

Youmustknowwhatyoubelieveinandwhereyouwanttogoasaleaderinorderforotherstobeinspiredtofollow.

Identifywhatinspiresandenergizesyouaboutyourwork.Sharingyourpointofviewwithotherswillincreaseaccountability.

Characters

Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameasordifferentlythanleadersyouknowhavedone.

Proactivelybuildpositiverelationshipsandexpressgratitude.Identifyandseekinputandguidancefromtrustedmentors.

Conflict

Conflictisinevitable.Perhapsmorethanresults,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictoradversitywilldefineyouasaleader.

Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflictconstructively.Beproactiveinrespondingtoconflict.Itmaynotcomenaturallyorcomfortably,butifyoucanhandleconflictwell,itwillgreatlyhelpyourleadershipstoryandbuildpositiverelationships.

Theme

Forquickfeedback,giveyourselfandothersagrade;askotherstodothesame.Itcanhelpinitiatecandidconversations,reinforceexpectations,andhighlightperceptions.

perceptions.Effectiveleadershiprequiresyoutoletgoof(ordelegate)sometechnicalskillsandembraceyourroleasaleader.

Reconcilehowyouthinkyouaredoingasaleaderwithhowothersperceiveyouaredoing.

Setting

Takeownershipandresponsibilityforwhatyoucandotomakeyoursettingoptimalforyou.

Knowandarticulatewhataboutasettingenablesyoutobeatyourbestandconstrainsyoufromthesame.

Activelyseekfeedbackfromyourteammembersaboutwhatittakesforthemtobeattheirbest,andhaveaspecificplantohelpsupportthem.

THEARTOFCOMMUNICATINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY

KnowYourMessage

Don’tfabricateormisrepresentyourleadershipstory.Knowthedifferencebetweenwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.Rehearseyourstoryandelementsofit.Readbiographiesandautobiographiesofleaders.Notewhatmadethemgreatandhowtheirstorywastold.

KnowYourAudience

Testthewaterswithselectindividualsbytellingthemaspectsofyourleadershipstory.Gaugetheirreactiontowhatyousaidandhowyousaiditbyaskingforfeedback.Afterward,don’tnecessarilychangeyourmessage,butconsiderreframingitforthataudience.

Findspecificexamplesandstoriesofwhatconstitutessuccessfulleadershipatyourcompany.

Understandand/ordefinethevisionofyourcompanyorteam,andknowhowyourpersonalmissionsupportsthegreatervision.

MaximizeMomentsofTruth

Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,

Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,presentations,etc.).

Createyourownmomentsoftruthbygettingactivelyinvolvedinprojects.Volunteerwhenyouknowyoucanexceedexpectationsthataddvaluetothebusinessorsolveachallengingorcomplexproblem.(Note:donotovercommitoroverpromise.)Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethebusiness.(Note:thisisnotabouttrackingalistofcomplaints,butabouthavinggenuineandrealisticideasforwhereyou[and/orothers]couldimprovethebusiness.)Lookfortherighttimeandaudiencetosharethoseideas.

MakeYourActionsSpeakLouderThanWords

Alwayslookonelevelormoreupintheorganizationtoseehowleadersdress,carrythemselves,andkeeptheirworkspace.Modelthatandsettheexample.

Makealistofwhereyouandotherswouldrateyouhighlywithregardtoexecutivepresenceandwhereyouneedtoimprove.Howdoothersviewyourpresence?Writeaspecificplanforhowyouwillimproveyourexecutivepresenceandcreategreateralignment.

Walkaroundandinteractwithindividualsonyourteamregularly.Besuretogotothemandgettoknowthemonapersonallevel,andseethattheyhavetheresourcesandsupporttogettheirjobdone.

Ifyouractionsandwordseverdonotalign,recognizeitandrecalibrateyourstoryoractionsaccordingly.

EnlistOtherstoTellYourStory

Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnaboutwhotheyareandwhattheydo.

Askotherstodescribewhatyouarelikewhenyouareatyourbest.Identifyatleastthreecredibilitysubstitutesforyou.

NOTES

1.DiannaBooher,CreatingPersonalPresence:Look,Talk,Think,andActLikeaLeader(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2011).

2.TheArbingerInstitute,LeadershipandSelf-Deception:GettingOutoftheBox(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2010).

3.SteveArneson,BootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeCharge,andMoveUp(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2010).

4.JimLoehr,ThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessandinLife(NewYork:FreePress,2008).

5.DanielGoleman,EmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ(NewYork:BantamBooks,2005).

6.J.W.“Bill”MarriottJr.andKathiAnnBrown,WithoutReservations:HowaFamilyRootBeerStandGrewintoaGlobalHotelCompany(NewYork:DiversionBooks/LCP,2014).

7.JohnZengerandJosephFolkman,TheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders(NewYork:McGraw-Hill,2009).

8.AlanGregerman,TheNecessityofStrangers:TheIntriguingTruthAboutInsight,Innovation,andSuccess(SanFrancisco:Jossey-Bass,2013).

9.StephenCovey,The7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople:PowerfulLessonsinPersonalChange(NewYork:FreePress,1990).

10.CarriePerles,“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities,”eHow(March2014),http://www.ehow.com/list_6738552_conflict-management-training-activities.html.

11.GeorgeOrwell,1984(NewYork:SignetClassics,1969).12.NelsonMandela,LongWalktoFreedom:TheAutobiographyofNelson

Mandela(Boston:BackBayBooks,1995).13.AmyJenSuandMurielMaignanWilkins,OwntheRoom:DiscoverYour

SignatureVoicetoMasterYourLeadershipPresence(Boston:HarvardBusinessReviewPress,2013).

14.JayA.Conger,“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion,”HarvardBusinessReview(May1998).

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ThereisnowayIcouldhavecompletedthisbookwithoutastrongsupportnetwork.Thatbeginswithmywife,Sara,andourchildren,FinleyandChase.Youaresimplyamazing.WordscannotdescribehowmuchIappreciateyoursupport,patience,love,andencouragement.Youarewhatisimportantinlife.IloveyouandknowthatIcouldnothavedonethiswithoutyou.

Ialsowanttothankmymom,whohasanamazinggiftofpatience,unconditionallove,andsupport.Youhavealwaysbeenmygreatestfan,andthatmeansalot.ThankyoualsotoEddieandEllieSharpe,whoshowgreatinterestandenthusiasminmypursuits.Thankyouforfreelysharingyourwisdom.

WalterMcFarlandisapersonIadmireandrespect.Iamveryfortunatetocallyouafriendandmentor.YoualwaysseepotentialbeforeIseeitmyself.Thankyouforshowingmetheway.Thankyouforlisteningandaskingquestions.Iamabetterpersonforknowingyou.

ToJayConger,Ioweabigthank-you.Youhavecontributedtomybookandhelpedshapemythinkingfarmorethanyouwilleverknow.Thankyouforallyoursupportandencouragement.

Ioweabigthank-youtotheGWELPcommunityforgivingmesomanyopportunitiesandprovidingastrongfoundationofknowledgeformetobuildon.

I’vehadthegoodfortuneofworkingforsomegreatcompanieswithgreatleaders,colleagues,andteammembers.Therearetoomanypeopletoname,andIfearImightmisssomeone.Butknowthatifyouhavebeenacolleague,Ihavelearnedfromyou.IhavetomentionthatthefirstpersonIworkedwithonabigleadershipprojectwasLoriZukin.Lori,thankyouforbeingagreatcollaboratorandteammate.Yourdepthofknowledgeandwillingnesstosharethatknowledgestartedmeoffontherightfoot,andIhaveneverforgottenthat.Ihavetriedtopayitforwardwhereverpossible.

Andtomygreatbosses,thankyouforprovidingmewithopportunities,givingmefeedback,andtrustingmewithgreaterresponsibilities.Iappreciateyourhavingmyback,encouragingmetopursuemyinterests,andallowingme

yourhavingmyback,encouragingmetopursuemyinterests,andallowingmetolearnandgrow.Youneverknowwhatyouarecapableofuntilyoutakethatfirststep.Thankyouforallowingmetotakemanysteps.

Thankyou,SteveArneson,foryourinsightsandadvice.Yourenthusiasmforleadershipisinspiring.Andyourguidanceisappreciated.Youareagreatrolemodel.Althoughyouhavedonealotmoreformethanmakeanintroduction,IneedtospecificallythankyouformakingtheintroductiontoNealMailletatBerrett-Koehler.

NealandtherestoftheBerrett-Koehlerteamarephenomenalacrosstheboard.Theyhaveeachplayedaroleinmakingthisareallyfunprocess.Nealhasprovidedgreatfeedbackandperspective;thankyou,JeevanSivasubramaniam,formakingitquiteaseamlessprocess,alwaystakinggreatinterestinmyideas,questions,andconcerns;thankyou,DiannePlatnerandyourteam,foryourcreativityandsupportonthebookdesign;thankyou,LindaJupiterandyourteam,formakingthisabeautiful,reader-friendlybook,andespeciallyElissaRabellino,foryourbrilliantcopyeditingandsuggestions;andtomyreviewers,KerryRadcliffe,JanNickerson,andLeighWilkinson,feedbackisagift,soIthankyoufortakingthetimetooffersuchgreatfeedback.Ihopeyouseethedifferenceyoumade.

RogerPeterson.Youaregreattoworkwith.Youhavegotagreatgiftwhenitcomestowriting,andIappreciatethetimeyoutookandinsightsyousharedtohelpbringmybooktolife.

AsIreflectonhowfortunateIamtohavesuchagreatgroupofpeopleinmylife,somehow“Thankyou”doesn’tseemtofullycapturethegratitudeIhave.ButI’llsayitanyway.Thankyouallforbelievinginme,encouragingme,andteachingme.

INDEX

Aaccessibility,89,119accountability,31,36,66actions,5,17,118–122,138

reflectivequestions,119Seealsononverbalcommunication

activities,3,5,102–103,130characters,44–50conflict,57–63corevalues,30–32todoyourself,134togivetoothers,135plot,29–34setting,82–89theme,70–76Seealsoquicktips

Alcoa,18alignment,7–8,9,12,14,118,122,129,141

audienceand,107–108charactersand,44,45plotand,23,24,30,31,32

antagonists,24,38,42–44,47,51,101,111enlistingothersand,125–126keystounlockingconnections,45–46

appearance,120–121appreciativeinquiryleadership,13ArbingerInstitute,8Arneson,Steve,29,74arrogance,9,10audience,100,101,107–112,131,137–138

casestudy,111–112reflectivequestions,109–111

authenticity,9,10,23,118awesomeness,7–8

Bbackcasting,94–95behaviors,32–33benevolentdictatorship,13Bloomberg,Michael,89,90Booher,Dianna,4BootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeChargeandMoveUp

(Arneson),29,74boundaries,acceptanceof,65–66

Ccapability,10casestudy(Bob),131–132

actions,121audience,111–112characters,50–52conflict,63–64enlistingothers,127message,105–106momentsoftruth,116–117

narrativearc,95–97plot,36–37setting,89–90theme,76–77

characters,24,38–52,125–126activities,44–50antagonists,42–44casestudy,50–52protagonists,41–42quicktips,52,139reflectivequestions,44,136

choiceofleadershipstyle,12cluelessness,9,10collaboration,107,111collegiality,51,127comfortzone,17,100,102,120command-and-controlleadership,13commitmenttofuture,59–61commonground,44,46communicationofleadershipstory,5,99–101,102,111,131,137–138,140–141

Seealsoenlistingotherscompetence,65competencymodels,61,66compromise,32conflict,24,53–64,111

activities,57–63casestudy,63–64mind-setand,54–55quicktips,64,139reflectivequestions,56,136self-awarenessand,55–56

typesof,53–54“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities”(Perles),57Confucius,91Conger,Jay,124conversationsthatmatterleadership,13corevalues,3,26

activity,29,30–32Covey,Stephen,47CreatingPersonalPresence(Booher),4creativeproblemsolving,96–97credibility,11,16,66,118–119credibilitysubstitutes,41–42,124,125–126,131

Seealsoprotagonistscross-pollination,131–132currentevents/newsstories(what’shappening),57,58–59

Ddataandexamples,104delegation,7,67,82,83,84depositsandwithdrawals,47–48derailers,43,116detours,82,84–85developingothers,94,97

setting,83,84diary,70,72–73differences,strengthof,62,63drivingcatalyst,18–19

Eecologyofleadership,7Eisenhower,DwightD.,7

emergingleaders,1–2emotionalbankaccount,44,47–48emotionalintelligence,38–39,43,67EmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ(Goleman),38–39empathy,58,109–110enlistingothers,123–127,138

casestudy,127quicktips,127Seealsocommunicationofleadershipstory

excitement,29,33,36,132executivepresence,10,110,118,119,120–121,122experience,55,104TheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders(Zenger

andFolkman),43

Ffarewellspeech,73fatalflaws,43fearoffailure,97feedback,67–69flexibility,49,67Folkman,Joseph,43framing,103–104funpartsofleadership,12,27,97,132

Ggame-changingleadership,36Goleman,Daniel,38–39grading,70–71granddesign,112gratitude,50,82,86–87

Gregerman,Alan,46

Hhabits,69,105,130headline,117hearsay,40hiddenleaders,9,11hitsandmisses,70,71–72humility,9,9–10

IIstatements,57–58image,119impostorphenomenon,55,56–57improvisation,15,129inconsistency,9,11–12innerconflict,53,55,64innervoice,92

Seealsomind-setinnovation,57,62–63inspiration,26,80–81internalnetwork,11interpersonalconflict,53,54involvement,11

JJobs,Steve,36–37,94

Kkeystounlockingconnections,44,45–46

L

leadershipdefined,5,7–21defining,activity,28,29–30asdynamic,movingtarget,15asgift,129great,14–15journeyto,xiv–xv,16,23,129perceptionofothers,3,5,7,9,39–40asprofession,20types,4,12–13,13ultimategoals,12uncertaintyabout,40–41

LeadershipandSelf-Deception(ArbingerInstitute),8leadershiplanguage,30leadershipskills,66leadershipstory

authorshipof,1,6,8,39–40,49,109,130–132balanced,14currentandidealversions,5defined,2interpretations/variations,8,9,24proactiverolein,3quadrants,9,9–12reasonforfocuson,16–17steps,4–5understandingandaligning,23–25

learnfrompast,committofuture,57,59–61learning,17legacy,73–74listening,66,127Loehr,Jim,29

loneranger,20–21,63,105,121,127LongWalktoFreedom(Mandela),65–66Look,Talk,Think,andAct,4

Mmanagingup,110Mandela,Nelson,18,65–66Marriott,J.W.,Jr.(“Bill”),41masterful2x2,82–84mentorcircles,44,48–49,55message,102–106,131,137

framing,103–104keypoints,103quicktips,106

mind-set(innervoice),54–55,58,60messageand,105narrativearcand,91–92,94,95

mirror,70,74–75mission/purpose,25,29,34–35misunderstandingofleadershipstory,8momentsoftruth,138

casestudy,116–117quicktips,117reflectivequestions,114

movingon,70,73

Nnarrativearc,5,91–98

casestudy,95–97eventsandactivities,93–94influentialpeople,92–93

mappinganddiscoveringleadershiptruths,91–95past,91–92Seealsostories

“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion”(Conger),124TheNecessityofStrangers(Gregerman),46newconstruction,85–86nonverbalcommunication,5,101

reflectivequestions,119Seealsoactions

Oobservationstoimprovebusiness,117O’Neill,Paul,18organizationalculture,79,105outervoice,92,95overcommitting,116,117OwntheRoom:DiscoverYourSignatureVoicetoMasterYourLeadership

Presence(SuandWilkins),104

Ppeer-to-peerleadership,13perceptionofothers,3,5,7,9,39–40,101

hearsayand,40leavelittletochance,109outervoice,92,95themeand,67–68

Perles,Carrie,57personalpresence,4plot,24,26–37,110,118

activities,29–34casestudy,36–37

quicktips,36,139reflectivequestions,28,136

pointofview,37positiveleadership,13ThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessand

inLife(Loehr),29pride,senseof,79projectmanagement,36–37promotions,34protagonists,24,38,41–42,47,51,79,101,111

enlistingothers,125–126keystounlockingconnections,45–46Seealsocredibilitysubstitutes

purpose-drivenleadership,13

QQuadrant1,9,9–10Quadrant2,9,10–11Quadrant3,9,11Quadrant4,9,11–12questions,asking,66quicktips,139–140

actions,122audience,112characters,52,139conflict,64,139enlistingothers,127message,106momentsoftruth,117plot,36,139setting,90,140

theme,77,139Seealsoactivities

Rrationalization,8reflectivequestions,5,6,79,136–137

actionsandnonverbalcommunication,119audience,109–111characters,44,136conflict,56,136enlistingothers,124–125message,104–105momentsoftruth,114nonverbalcommunication,119plot,28,136setting,81,137theme,69,137

relationships,24,41Seealsocharacters

relevance,105,107,109–110resources,133–141

activitiestodoyourself,134activitiestogivetoothers,135

SSchultz,Howard,18self-awareness,11–12,17

antagonistsand,43audienceand,111conflictand,55–56,60,61settingand,82,87–89

themeand,65self-perception,8,9self-reflection,3,5,17servantleadership,13setting,25,78–90

activities,82–89balance,81casestudy,89–90changesin,78–79detours,84–85effectof,79gratitude,86–87makingthemostof,79–80masterful2x2,82–84quicktips,90,140reflectivequestions,137S.M.A.R.T.,82,87–89

The7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople(Covey),47skillsaudit(whatittakes),57,61–62S.M.A.R.T.,82,87–89solidgrounds,29,32–33specificity,33stewardshipleadership,13stories,2

elementsof,23,24–25,100,129Seealsonarrativearc

storytelling,good,100–101,102Su,Amy,104

Ttask-focusedconflict,54

teammeetings,108teams,leadershipof,20technicalexpertise,1,12,14–15,20,66,83thankyouactivity,44,50theme,25,65–77,110

activities,70–76casestudy,76–77quicktips,77,139reflectivequestions,69,137self-awarenessand,65

360assessments,40,68–69timing,101,114trainingeffect,61trust,16,18,41

emotionalbankaccount,44,47–48truth,momentsof,113–117

Vvirtualteams,62–63volunteering,117,124

WWilkins,Muriel,104WithoutReservations(Marriott),41

ZZenger,John,43

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

TimTobinisalearningandleadershipprofessionalcommittedtoprovidingopportunitiesthathelppeoplereachtheirgreatestpotential.Inhis25yearsofprofessionalexperience,hehasbeendirectlyresponsibleforthedevelopmentofthousandsofpeople,fromC-leveltofirst-timeleaders,acrossmultipleindustries.

Hebelievesthatdevelopmentmustbeginwithself-awareness.Hebelievesthatwelearnbestthroughpractice,anddevelopmentshouldbeanongoingendeavor—onethatispursuedwithpurpose.AnotherkeytothedevelopmentprocessinTim’sviewistheinterplaybetweenactionandreflection.Inouraction-orientedsociety,toooften,wedonotleavetimetoreflect.Toooften,leadershipisanafterthought.Notenoughtimeisdedicatedtothinkingaboutleadership.Thisbookwaswrittentohelpfacilitateyourthoughtprocessaboutwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe,andtoprovideguidingactionstohelpgetyoutowhereyouwanttobe.

Timiscurrentlyvicepresident,globallearningandleadershipdevelopment,atMarriottInternational,whereheisresponsibleforlearningandleadershipdevelopmentstrategy,programs,andcurriculumacrosstheenterprise.Hehas

designedanddeliverednumerousleadershipprogramsforaglobalaudience.Here,Timlearnedaboutteamleadershipandtheimportanceofsettingastrongvision,understandingthepersonalinterestsanddevelopmentneedsofeachindividual,andnotsimplyleadingthewayyouwouldwanttobeled.WhileatMarriott,hewonthe2014ChiefLearningOfficerawardforGlobalLearning,the2013Bersin&AssociatesawardforEnablingHighImpactLearning,the2012ChiefLearningOfficerawardforInnovativeLearning,andthe2012Bersin&AssociatesawardforLeadershipDevelopmentStrategyExcellence.

PriortoMarriott,TimwasdirectoratBakerTilly(formerlyBeers+Cutler),wherehedesignedandimplementedtheircorporateuniversityandleadershipstrategyandprograms.Hewasalsoresponsiblefortheirbroadertalentmanagementfunctions.Inthisrole,Timrealizedtheimportanceofbuildingstrong,collaborativepartnershipsacrosstheorganization.HeintroducedtheApprenticeshipModelofLearning,implementedthecompany’sfirstLearningManagementSystem,andbuilttheirleadershipstrategyandprograms.Theresultingprogramsreceivedmultipleawards,includingthe2010Bersin&AssociatesLearningLeaderawardforLearningandTalentInitiativeExcellence,the2009HeliosHRApolloawardforoutstandingemployeedevelopmentprograms,andthe2008Bersin&AssociatesawardforOperationalExcellence.HewasalsorecognizedwiththeLearningLeaderawardforoutstandingserviceinsupportofBeers+Cutler.

BeforeBakerTilly,TimworkedforBoozAllenHamilton.Inhisrolethere,Timhadabroaderhumancapitalfocus.ItwastherethatTimdevelopedanappreciationfortakingaconsultativeapproachtoworkandtheimportanceofunderstandingtheneedsofthebusiness.Hemanagedandparticipatedinprojectteamsfocusedonavarietyofmanagement,leadership,training,andhumanresourceinitiativesprimarilyforgovernmentclients.HewasalsoakeycontributorforaBoozAllenHamiltonPartnerDevelopmentProgram.WhileatBoozAllenHamilton,Timwonthe2005FutureHumanCapitalLeaderawardfromHumanCapitalmagazine.

TimreceivedanEdDinhumanresourcesdevelopmentfromGeorgeWashingtonUniversity,anMAinorganizationalmanagementfromtheUniversityofPhoenix,andaBAinpsychologyfromtheUniversityofDelaware.Hehasbeenanadjunctprofessorforover15yearsatCatholicUniversity,TrinityUniversity,andGeorgeWashingtonUniversity,wherehehastaughtgraduateandundergraduatecoursesinlearning,strategy,andhuman-capitaltopics.HeiscurrentlyamemberoftheUniversityofMarylandSmithSchoolofBusinessExecutiveProgramsAdvisoryBoard.

Timisoftenaspeakeratregional,national,andinternationalconferences,andhehaspublishedindiversepublicationssuchasSalesandServiceExcellenceEssentials,theInternationalJournalofStrategicBusinessAlliances,ASTD—TheTorch,SmartCEOmagazine,andSocialPsychologyandEducation.

Onapersonalnote,Timisaneight-timemarathonfinisher,athree-timeIronmantriathlonfinisher,andafinisheroftheGreatChesapeakeBaySwim.HeisaWashington,DCnative.Helivestherenowwithhiswife,Sara,andtheirson,Finley,anddaughter,Chase.YoucancontactTimatttobin7@gmail.comandstayconnectedonTwitterat@tobinleadership.

Berrett-Koehlerisanindependentpublisherdedicatedtoanambitiousmission:CreatingaWorldThatWorksforAll.

Webelievethattotrulycreateabetterworld,actionisneededatalllevels—individual,organizational,andsocietal.Attheindividuallevel,ourpublicationshelppeoplealigntheirliveswiththeirvaluesandwiththeiraspirationsforabetterworld.Attheorganizationallevel,ourpublicationspromoteprogressiveleadershipandmanagementpractices,sociallyresponsibleapproachestobusiness,andhumaneandeffectiveorganizations.Atthesocietallevel,ourpublicationsadvancesocialandeconomicjustice,sharedprosperity,sustainability,andnewsolutionstonationalandglobalissues.

Amajorthemeofourpublicationsis“OpeningUpNewSpace.”Berrett-Koehlertitleschallengeconventionalthinking,introducenewideas,andfosterpositivechange.Theircommonquestischangingtheunderlyingbeliefs,mindsets,institutions,andstructuresthatkeepgeneratingthesamecyclesofproblems,nomatterwhoourleadersareorwhatimprovementprogramsweadopt.

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Wearegratefultothethousandsofreaders,authors,andotherfriendsofthecompanywhoconsiderthemselvestobepartofthe“BKCommunity.”Wehopethatyou,too,willjoinusinourmission.

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