· web view(4) now i was the reigning hodges family champ. (5) i knew that my glory could end...

Editing Passage #1

Colin’s English teacher asked each student to write a biographical report about an interesting person. Colin wrote this report about a cartoonist. He would like you to read his paper and suggest the corrections and improvements he should make. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

A Dream Come True

(1) Walter loved animals. (2) He especialy loved watching them in the forest near his

Missouri home. (3) Fascinated, the boy would spend endless hours in the woods, quietly and

patiently observing. (4) As he watched he would sketch his observations. (5) By the time

Walter was seven years old, everyone in the neighborhood knew about his drawings.

(6) When he was a teenager, Walter discovered that he enjoyed entertaining people.

(7) He would show them his art and sometimes even sell sketches to friends and neighbors.

(8) During world war I, when Walter was just 16, he joined the Red Cross and reported to

France to drive an ambulance. (9) He didn’t cover his vehicle with the traditional camouflage.

(10) Instead, he covered it with his own drawings.

(11) Soon after his return to the United States, this passionate artist developed his own

animation company. (12) Unfortunately, the business failed, but Walter wasn’t ready to give up

on his dream. (13) He decided to partner with his older brother Roy, and start another

company. (14) Walter spent hours at the drawing board and eventually developed a cartoon

character called Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. (15) People liked the character, but it didn’t bring

Walter fame or fortune. (16) Determined to become successful, he created a new character, a

perky little mouse named Mickey. (17) When Mickey was featured in the short film Steamboat

Willie, Walter began to get the recognition he had always wanted. (18) In fact, Mickey Mouse

was such a hit that Walter began producing monthly cartoons starring the animated mouse.

(19) Soon Walter added some sidekicks, including Donald Duck and Goofy.

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(20) In time, Walter became one of the most beloved and recognized cartoonists in

history. (21) At one point he developed an idea for a feature-length animated movie, but his

colleagues scoffed at them. (22) “Your plan will never work,” they said. (23) “No one will come

to see such a movie.” (24) Walter proved everyone wrong; when Snow White and the Seven

Dwarfs was released, it was a huge national success.

(25) You have probably figured out that the boy named Walter was Walter Elias Disney.

(26) During his lifetime Disney and his staff created 18 animated feature-length films and won

48 Academy Awards. (27) He also produced television shows such as Disney’s Wonderful

World of Color and The Mickey Mouse Club, and founded California’s Disneyland. (28) With a

steadfast determining to reach his goals and a desire to share his appreciation of animals,

Walt Disney enriched the lives of millions of people around the world.

1. What change should be made in

sentence 2?

A. Change especialy to especiallyB. Change them to itC. Insert it was after forestD. Change near to neare

2. What change should be made to

sentence 4?

A. Change watched to would be watching

B. Insert a comma after watchedC. Change his to theirD. No change should be made

3. What change, if any, should be made in

sentence 5?

A. Delete the comma after oldB. Change knew to newC. Change his to theirD. Make no change


sentence 8?

A. Change world war to World WarB. Delete the comma after 16C. Change reported to reportsD. Make no change

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5. What change should be made in sentence 13?

A. Change decided to desidedB. Change his to theirC. Delete the comma after RoyD. Change start to starting


A. Change developed to developpedB. Delete the comma after movieC. Change colleagues to ColleaguesD. Change them to it

7. What change can be made to sentence 27?

A. Change produced to produceB. Insert a comma after showsC. Change California’s to CaliforniaD. Change Disneyland to disneyland


A. Change determining to determinationB. Insert a comma after goalsC. Change appreciation to apreciationD. Change millions to million’s

End of Editing Practice #1

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Answer Key Editing Practice #1Genre: Expository

Question Answer TEKS R/S Concepts

1 A 19A R Spelling

2 B 17C R Complex Sentence Structure

3 D 13D R Edit for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

4 A 18A R Capitalization

5 C 17C R Complex Sentence Structure

6 D 13D R Grammar – Pronoun Agreement

7 B 18B R Punctuation – nonessential clauses

8 A 13D R Grammar - part of speech use

4

English Editing Passage #2

In response to an English assignment, Dustin wrote this paper about an experience he had. He wants you to read the paper and help him correct and improve it. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

The Chess Tournament(1) I had signed up to play in the bailey county Chess Tournament two months before.

(2) I’d been counting the days, filling my afternoons with practice games and begging everyone

I knew to play chess with me. (3) The week before the tournament, I’d even ousted my father

from the family “chess throne.”

(4) Now I was the reigning Hodges family champ. (5) I knew that my glory could end

soon the tournament was about to begin. (6) I would be competing against 25 players, and all

of us would be battling for just a few coveted trophies. (7) Glancing up at the prizes, the trophy

was glistening in the summer sun. (8) I could just picture one of those trophies sat on the top

shelf of the bookcase in my room. (9) My daydream interrupted by the announcement of the

first round.

(10) “Shake hands and start playing!” exclaimed the judge. (11) I looked across the

board and saw that my first opponent was almost too small to see over the top of the table.

(12) “Aha!” I thought. (13) “This will be an easy win.”

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(14) One unexpected checkmate later, I regretted my overconfidence.

(15) A nine-year-old had beaten me in a mere 10 minutes! (16) I concealed my

disappointment and congratulated the apparant prodigy.

(17) “Good game! (18) You’re a terrific player,” I said with a genuine smile.

(19) The next three rounds went by very quickly, with each game proving more difficult

than the one before. (20) By evening I had one win and three losses. (21) After the second

game I was ready to forfeit and go home, but I stayed smiling and sincerely congratulating

each of my opponents.

(22) As the trophies were being awarded, I listened respectful, applauding each winner

as his or her name was called. (23) It was hard to hide my disappointment, but I tried.

(24) Suddenly I heard the announcer say my name and was shocked to see everyone looking

at me.

(25) “For excellent chess etiquette, a friendly attitude, and plain old determination, the

Good Sport Award goes to Dustin Hodges,” the judge declared.

(26) I grinned as I walked up to except the prize. (27) It wasn’t the trophy that I had

hoped for, but the gold plaque looks pretty good on my bookcase. (28) Of course, it won’t stay

there forever. (29) I plan to replace it with the championship trophy next year.

1. What change, if any, should be made in sentence 1?

A. Insert a comma after upB. Change bailey county to Bailey CountyC. Insert this was after TournamentD. Make no change


A. Insert a semicolon after soonB. Change tournament to TournamentC. Change was to isD. Make no change

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3. What is the correct way to rewrite

sentence 7?

A. I glanced up at the prizes, and

each trophy. Glistening in the

summer sun.

B. Glancing up at the prizes. I noticed

that each trophy was glistening in

the summer sun.

C. I glanced up at the prizes, that

trophy was glistening in the

summer sun.

D. Glancing up at the prizes, I noticed

that each trophy was glistening in

the summer sun.

4. What change needs to be made in

sentence 8?

A. Insert it after pictureB. Change sat to sittingC. Insert a comma after shelfD. No change is needed

5. What change, if any, should be made

in sentence 9?

A. Insert was after daydreamB. Change interrupted to

interruptionC. Change announcement to

announcemintD. Make no change


in sentence 16?

A. Change and to IB. Change congratulated to

congratulatingC. Change apparant to apparentD. Make no change

7. What change is needed in sentence

21?

A. Change second to SecondB. Delete the comma after homeC. Insert a comma after stayedD. No change needed

8. How should sentence 22 be changed?

A. Delete the comma after awardedB. Change respectful to

respectfullyC. Change applauding to aplaudingD. Change was to were


in sentence 26?

A. Insert a comma after grinnedB. Change walked to walkC. Change except to acceptD. Make no change

7End of Editing Practice #2

Answer Key Editing Practice #2Genre: Literary Nonfiction


1 B 18A R Capitalization

2 A 17C R Compound Sentences

3 D 13D R Misplaced Modifier – Grammar/Usage

4 B 17A S Parts of Speech – Verbals

5 A 13D R Verb Tense – Grammar/Usage

6 C 19A S Spelling

7 C 18B S Punctuation - nonrestrictive modifier

8 B 13D R Adverb use – Grammar/Usage

9 C 19A R Spelling

8

Editing Practice #3

Brittney wrote this paper for her English class. She would like you to read her paper and

suggest ways that she might correct and improve it. When you finish reading, answer the

questions that follow.

A Surprisingly Happy Time

(1) Visiting my grandmother at her old farmhouse in the country is like going back in

time. (2) During our stay she spends her evenings knitting and told us stories. (3) She wants

us to know what life was like when she was growing up. (4) She hopes we appreciate how

lucky we are to have food, shelter, and work because she recalls a time when those things

were not so easy to come by.

(5) Grandma was just 10 years old when the stock market crashed in 1929. (6) All the

money that her family had saved was suddenly gone. (7) The Great Depression, a tragic time

in American history had begun. (8) The once prosperous family farm could not generate the

income it had in the past. (9) As a result, life became very difficult for Grandma’s family.

(10) Money was so scarce that everything, including flour sacks, had to be used in more ways

than one.

(11) Grandma says that she will never forget the flour-sack dresses she and her sisters

had to wear. (12) Even though life was hard and many people felt desperate. (13) Grandma’s

family discovered a secret. (14) They found that they didn’t need money to be happy.

(15) Grandma’s dad loved to think of ways for the family to have fun without spending no

money. (16) He organized rowdy games in the farmhouse kitchen, assisted with the building of

snow forts, and arranged square-dancing parties with neighbors. (17) Instead of buying

Christmas gifts, family members exchanged handmade presents with each other.

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(18) Grandma says that her family grew so close during those years that even if she could go

back and improve their circumstances, she wouldn’t.

(19) Her favorite memorys are of the times when the family would go on secret

missions. (20) They knew that other people were also struggling, and they wanted to help

whenever they could. (21) Sometimes the whole family would sneak over to a neighboring

farm during the night and drop off a loaf of homemade bread or leave a basket of vegetables

from the garden.

(22) Although the neighbors never knew who was behind these little acts of kindness,

grandma says that they brought great joy to her and her family. (23) She believes that this joy

is what sustained them through some of the hardest times in our nations’ history.


A. Insert them after spendsB. Change her to theirC. Change told to tellingD. Make no change

2. What change needs to be made to sentence 4?

A. Change appreciate to appreshiateB. Delete the comma after shelterC. Change easy to easilyD. No change is needed


A. Change Great Depression to great depressionB. Delete the comma after DepressionC. Insert a comma after historyD. Make no change

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4. What is the best way to rewrite

sentences 12 and 13?

A. Even though life was hard and

many people felt desperate,

Grandma’s family discovered a

secret.

B. Even though life was hard, many

people felt desperate, Grandma’s

family discovered a secret.

C. Even though life was hard, and

many people felt desperate, and

Grandma’s family discovered a

secret.

D. Correct as is

5. What change needs be made in

sentence 15?

A. Change dad to DadB. Insert a comma after waysC. Delete noD. No change needed


in sentence 17?

A. Delete the comma after giftsB. Change exchanged to

exchanging

C. Change each other to one another

D. Make no change


in sentence 19?

A. Change favorite to favoritestB. Change memorys to memoriesC. Change when to whichD. Make no change

8. What is the best change to make in

sentence 22?

A. Change knew to newB. Change grandma to GrandmaC. Change they to itD. Insert a comma and quotation

marks before that


sentence 23?

A. Change She to AndB. Change sustained to sustanedC. Change through to threwD. Change nations’ to nation’s

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1 C 13D R Grammar– tense shift

2 D 13D R Grammar, mechanics, spelling

3 C 18B S Punctuation – non essential clauses

4 A 17C R Correctly structured Complex Sentences

5 C 13D R Grammar – Double negatives

6 C 17A S Parts of Speech - Reciprocal pronouns

7 B 19A R Spelling


9 D 13D R Edit for mechanics – possessive nouns

12


Editing Practice #4

In response to an English assignment, Vanessa wrote this story about a memorable day. Read

Vanessa’s story and look for ways she might correct and improve it. When you finish reading, answer

the questions that follow.

Inspection Day

(1) I yawned and gulped a bit more coffee as I stumbled into work at the pizza parlor

that Saturday morning. (2) I was so sleepy that I failed to notice that the parking lot was more

crowded then usual. (3) The sign on the door read “Closed Until 4:00.” (4) That should have

reminded me that this day would be different. (5) However, I didn’t remember until I saw the

mops, buckets, and brooms and hearing the upbeat music booming from the speakers.

(6) Today was inspection day.

(7) My boss Harry is the sort of man who can make even the most borring jobs seem

fun. (8) Today, however, he looked very serious. (9) He insisted that the shop had to be

spotless by the time the inspector arrived. (10) The twinkle in his eye suggested that he

planned to make the work enjoyment.

(11) Harry assigned jobs, he checked off each task on his clipboard. (12) When he

called my name, he looked up with a sly, mischievous smile. (13) He said, “I have a very

special job for you, Vanessa. (14) He pointed at the large pizza oven.

(15) The inside of the oven was caked with the remains of every pizza that had been

made since the last inspection. (16) I wasn’t excited about cleaning it, but I knew I had no

choice. (17) Someone had to crawl inside to clean it, and I was the only person small enough

to fit.

(18) I grabbed the oven cleaner, rubber gloves, paper towels, and scrub brush and

squeezed inside the oven. (19) Quickly I went to work. (20) I was surprised by how efficiently

the oven cleaner ate through all the grime. (21) Fortunately, I was wearing a protective mask

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and safety goggles, so I didn’t have to worry about the fumes hurting my lungs or burning my

eyes. (22) It was actually kind of fun to watch the remnants of all those pizzas just vanish!

(23) I scrubbed until the job was finally finished. (24) You couldn’t have asked for a

cleaner oven. (25) However, my uniform, which was covered in black soot was another story.

(26) After everybody had a good laugh about how silly I looked, harry rewarded me by letting

me go home early. (27) I cleaned up and then decided to ask some friends to join me for

dinner. (28) This was one night I would definitely not eat pizza, though.

ON1. What change, if any, should be made

in sentence 2?

A. Change failed to failB. Change notice to notiseC. Change then to thanD. Make no change

2. What change needs to be made to

sentence 5?

A. Change saw to seenB. Change hearing to heardC. Insert a comma after musicD. No change is needed

3. What correction needs to be made to

sentence 7?

A. Change who to heB. Change borring to boringC. Change fun to funnerD. No change is needed


in sentence 10?

A. Change suggested to sugestedB. Change he to theyC. Change enjoyment to enjoyableD. Make no change

14

5. What is the correct way to rewrite sentence 11?

A. Harry assigned jobs. Checking off each task on his clipboard.

B. As Harry assigned jobs, he checked off each task on his clipboard.

C. Assigning jobs and checking off each task. Harry used his clipboard.

D. No revision is needed.


A. Change said to saysB. Delete the comma after youC. Insert quotation marks at the end of the sentence

D. Make no change


A. Delete the comma after HoweverB. Change uniform to UniformC. Delete the comma after uniformD. Insert a comma after soot

8. What change is needed in sentence 26?

A. Change After to WhileB. Delete the comma after lookedC. Change harry to HarryD. Change me to them

15




1 C 19A R Spelling

2 B 13D R Grammar – Parallel Structure

3 B 19A R Spelling

4 C 13D R Grammar - Adjectives

5 B 17C R Sentence Structure for Complex Sentences

6 C 18B S Punctuation – Quotations

7 D 17A S Punctuation – nonessential clauses

8 C 18A R Capitalization

16

Editing Practice #5

Debra has written about a recent experience. She wants you to review her paper. As you read,

think about the corrections and improvements she should make. When you finish reading,

answer the questions that follow.

A Gift of Life(1) Last October I gave my big sister a gift that no one else could have gave her.

(2) I gave Shannon my right kidney. (3) Shannon is 10 years older than me, and I’ve always

looked up to her. (4) Now we share a special bond that goes beyond being sisters.

(5) For as long as I can remember, Shannon has been sick. (6) She has type 1 diabetes

and has to give herself shots every day. (7) Her kidneys began to fail last May, Shannon had

to start going to the hospital for dialysis three times a week. (8) In this treatment a machine

does the filtering work that kidneys normally do. (9) Eventually, the doctors told us that

Shannon needed a kidney transplant.

(10) At first, we thought she would have to wait until she reached the top of the Nation’s

transplant list. (11) But then we learned that a family member might be a match. (12) In that

case, Shannon could have a kidney transplant imediately.

(13) I knew right away that I would like nothing more than to give one of my kidneys to

Shannon. (14) So I was tested—and tested and tested! (15) I was stuck with so many needles

that Shannon laughed and said, Now you understand what it feels like to be me!” (16) As my

sister and I waited to find out whether I could give Shannon the gift that she needed, we grew

closer than ever. (17) After a few weeks the doctors finally confirmed it: we were a perfect

match!

18) The day of the surgery soon arrived. (19) Shannon and I were wheeled into

adjoining operating rooms while our family members huddled tensely in the waiting room.

17

(20) I don’t remember nothing after squeezing Shannon’s arm and before we went into

surgery. (21) The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room. (22) I was out of the

hospital in three days, and Shannon came home two weeks later. (23) Already her life seems

to have a new sparkle. (24) I know that my kidney is now hard at work in her body makes me

feel very proud.


in sentence 1?

A. Insert a comma after giftB. Change could to couldn’tC. Change have gave to have givenD. Make no change


sentence 3?

A. Change me to I amB. Delete the comma after meC. Change I’ve to i haveD. Change her to herself

3. What is the correct way to rewrite

sentence 7?

A. When her kidneys began to fail last

May, Shannon had to start going to

the hospital for dialysis three times a

week.

B. Because her kidneys began to fail

last May. Shannon had to start going

to the hospital for dialysis three times

a week.

C. Beginning to fail last May, Shannon

had to start going to the hospital for

dialysis three times a week for her

kidneys.

D. No revision is needed.

5. O ON

18

4. How should sentence 10 be changed?

A. Change thought to thinking

B. Insert quotation marks around waitC. Change Nation’s to nation’s

D. Change transplant to transplent


sentence 12?

A. Change the comma to a semicolon

B. Change a kidney transplant to oneC. Change imediately to immediatelyD. Make no change


sentence 15?

A. Insert a colon after stuckB. Change that to thenC. Delete the comma

D. Insert quotation marks before Now


sentence 20?

A. Change nothing to anythingB. Change squeezing to squeazingC. Change we to theyD. Make no change


sentence 24?

A. Change I know to KnowingB. Insert it after kidneyC. Change makes to makeD. Change proud to proudly

Answer Key Editing Practice #5

19


Genre: Literary Nonfiction


1 C 13D R Grammar – verb tense

2 A 13D R Grammar – subjective pronouns

3 A 17C R Structure of complex sentences


5 C 19A R Spelling

6 D 18B S Punctuation – Quotations

7 A 13D R Grammar – Double Negatives

8 A 17A S Part of Speech - verbals

20

Editing Practice #6

Carmen combined her imagination with what she knew about the past to write this fictional

narrative. As you read Carmen’s paper, look for the corrections and improvements she should

make. When you finish reading, answer the questions that.

The Days of Cool(1) The family feast was finally over. (2) My parents stayed in my great-aunt Sharon’s

living room to visit with relatives. (3) I went to the den, where I found a 1958 high school

yearbook and started skimming through it.

(4) I had heard that the 1950s was a decade of cool cars, cool hamburger joints, and

cool rock-and-roll music. (5) Aunt Sharon, by her own report, had been cool then, too.

(6) I starred at the yearbook picture of my great-aunt. (7) The girl with the ponytail looked back

at me. (8) Surprisingly, she waved to me, inviting me into her world.

(9) Nobody in the school cafeteria seemed to notice me, but I definitely noticed

everyone else, especially Aunt Sharon and her girlfriends. (10) They all looked strangely alike

in their plaid skirts, cuffed socks, and saddle shoes. (11) Their ponytails swung from side to

side. (12) Talking about sock hops and drive-ins. (13) Guys with short hair and identical school

sweaters winked at these girls. (14) In another part of the cafeteria, I noticed some boys who,

on the contrary had long hair and wore leather jackets. (15) I suddenly realized that cliques

hadn’t started with my generation they had been around in the 1950s, too!

(16) After school a boy named Steve drove Sharon home. (17) Steve’s convertible was

really cool! (18) I rode in the backseat with one of Sharon’s friends, but no one paid no

attention to me. (19) I must have been invisible to the other teenagers in the car.

(20) After Steve pulled the car into the driveway, I followed Sharon into her house.

(21) In the middle of the living room sat a huge piece of furniture that Sharon referred to as

21

the new television. (22) The profile of a native American in a full headdress filled the tiny

screen set in a big wooden cabinet. (23) A soft hum accompanyed the black-and-white image.

(24) “Why is there always a test pattern in the afternoon?” Sharon complained loudly.

(25) “I sure wish the three networks would start their broadcasts before seven o’clock.”

(26) Could it be true that there were only three stations? (27) Were there really no TV

programs in the daytime? (28) Were all the shows really in black and white? (29) This was

definitely not cool!

(30) Sharon picked up the handset of the big black telephone, but she quickly hung up.

(31) Sharon’s family shared a party line with another household, and someone else was

already talking on the phone. (32) Sharon would have to wait until the line was free to make

her call. (33) She turned on the radio next. (34) I expected to hear Elvis Presley or the Everly

Brothers. (35) Instead, I heard a man telling a mystery story in a low voice. (36) As spooky

music played in the background, my head begins to swirl with visions of ponytails, convertibles,

and TV screens. (37) I happily rode the wave of images back to the twenty-first century.

(38) The world of the 1950s had been a cool place to visit, but I definitely didn’t want to stay

there!


A. Change I to WeB. Change starred to staredC. Insert a comma after pictureD. Make no change

2. Which is the correct way to rewrite sentences 11 and 12?

A. Their ponytails swung from side to side, talking about sock hops and drive-ins.

B. Since their ponytails swung from side to side, they talked about sock hops and drive-ins.

C. Their ponytails swung from side to side, they talked about sock hops and drive-ins.

22

D. Their ponytails swung from side to side as they talked about sock hops and drive-ins.

3. What change can be made to sentence

14?

A. Change cafeteria to cafuteriaB. Delete comma after cafeteriaC. Insert a comma after contraryD. No change is needed

4. What change should be made to

sentence 15?

A. Change realized to realizingB. Change hadn’t to hasn’tC. Insert a semicolon after generationD. Change to exclamation mark to a

question mark


sentence 18?

A. Change paid to payedB. Change no attention to any

attentionC. Change me to themD. Make no change

6. What change can be made in sentence

21?

A. Insert a comma after roomB. Insert there after roomC. Change piece to peace

D. Insert quotation marks around new7. What change, if any, should be made in

sentence 22?

A. Change profile to profilleB. Change native american to Native

AmericanC. Change filled to fillingD. Make no change


sentence 23?

A. Change soft to softerB. Insert it after humC. Change accompanyed to

accompaniedD. Make no change


sentence 36?

A. Insert a comma after playedB. Change the comma after

background to a semicolon

C. Change begins to beganD. Change with to there were

23End of Editing

Practice #6

Answer Key Editing Practice #6Genre: Literary Text


1 B 19A R Spelling

2 D 13D R Grammar – Fragments

3 C 17B SS Commas in phrases

4 C 17C R Compound Sentence Structure

5 B 13D R Grammar – Double Negatives

6 D 18B SS Quotations to show sarcasm


8 C 19A R Spelling

9 C 13D R Grammar – tense shift

24

Editing Passage # 7

In this paper, Luke writes about a personal experience. He would like you to read his paper. As

you read, look for the corrections and improvements that he should make. When you finish

reading, answer the questions that follow.

Fantasyland

(1) “Follow your dreams! (2) Reach for the stars! (3) Wishes can come true!”

(4) By the time I was 16 I had grown tired of hearing those old clichés. (5) There were

some dreams, I had decided, that were simply out of reach.

(6) Then I saw an advertisement in the newspaper. (7) A world-famous theme park was

seeking summer guides for an adventure atraction. (8) Those interested in applying had to be

reliable, outgoing, and show responsibility. (9) The ad stressed that the park was looking for

employees with “something special.”

(10) Oh, how I wanted that job! (11) Another summer of babysitting and lawn mower

sounded less than exciting. (12) However, as far as I could see, I didn’t have a trait or talent

that qualified as “something special.” (13) I was unsure about whether or not to apply.

(14) When I told my family about the ad, I didn’t get any encouragement.

(15) “You really need a summer income, Luke,” advised my dad. (16) “You had better

line up those lawn jobs because they’re a sure thing.”

(17) “Thousands of kids will apply for that job,” my older brother said. (18) “You don’t

have a chance! (19) You’re living in a fantasyland!”

(20) Still, I tacked the ad on my bulletin board, where they kept catching my eye. (21) A

brainstorm came to me one evening as I was finishing and completing my Spanish homework.

(22) I knew what my “something special” could be! (23) I was doing pretty well in Spanish

class. (24) I would hone my skills and market myself as a bilingual guide since many of the

visitors spoke only Spanish.

25

(25) I began working in the school’s language lab every afternoon. (26) I checked out

Spanish tapes from the library and watched a Spanish channel on TV. (27) As I immersed

myself in the language, I started making straight A’s in Spanish class and I was feeling very

confident.

(28) After a few weeks of waiting, I wrote a letter of application to the park’s director and

described my special ability. (29) In May, I was invited to the park for an interview. (30) By

June, I was standing on the bow of the adventure boat ride pointing out man-made volcanoes.

(31) I had made it to my fantasyland!

(32) Now my advice to others is simple. (33) Follow your dreams and reach for the

stars! (34) I’m proof that wishes really can come true.


in sentence 4?

A. Insert a comma after 16B. Change grown to grewC. Insert a comma after tiredD. Change those old clichés to them

2. What change is needed in sentence 7?

A. Delete wasB. Insert a comma after guidesC. Change atraction to attractionD. Make no change

26


in sentence 8?

A. Change interested to

interestingB. Delete the comma after reliableC. Change show responsibility to

responsibleD. Make no change


sentence 11?

A. Change summer to SummerB. Change babysitting to babysiting

C. Change mower to mowingD. Change exciting to exiting


in sentence 20?

A. Change board to boredB. Change they to itC. Change the second my to yourD. Make no change

6. What change is needed in

sentence 27?

A. Change As to AlthoughB. Change myself to meC. Delete the comma after

languageD. Insert a comma after class


sentence 28?

A. Delete the comma after waitingB. Change wrote to will writeC. Change park’s to parksD. No change is needed

8. What correction needs to be made in

sentence 30?

A. Change was standing to

standedB. Change bow to boughs

C. Insert a comma after rideD. Change man-made to man

made

27End of Editing Practice #7



1 A 18B R Punctuation - Commas

2 C 19A R Spelling

3 C 13D R Grammar – Parallelism

4 C 17A S Parts of Speech – Verbal

5 B 13D R Grammar - Pronoun agreement

6 D 17C R Structure of Compound-Complex Sentence

7 D 13D R Grammar, Mechanics, and Spelling

8 C 18B S Commas: non-restrictive modifiers

28

Editing Practice #8

Sandi’s teacher asked her to write a paper related to setting a goal. Sandi decided to write a

personal narrative about a goal she had achieved. She wants you to review her paper and

think about the corrections and improvements she should make. When you finish reading,


Car Shopping(1) I had always dreamed of having my own car by the time I was 18, so I launched a

vigorous campaign as soon as I turned 17. (2) I began presenting evidence to prove that

owning my own automobile is a good idea.

(3) “Wouldn’t it be great, Mom,” I suggested, “if I could run errands for you while you’re

at work? (4) Even better, you’d never have to drive me to my after-school job again!”

(5) Another day I added “Have you noticed that I’m always home on time when I borrow

your car? (6) Have you noticed that I keep the gas tank filled?”

(7) Then there was my favorite argument. (8) “Don’t you like for me to set goals and

achieve them?” I asked quite frequent.

(9)It took almost a year of presenting logical arguments, demonstrating responsibility,

and earning money to make my dream a reality. (10) Shortly before my 18th birthday, setting

out to buy my first car. (11) I asked Uncle Ray and Aunt Ellen to accompany me because they

are my families shrewdest consumers. (12) Since I had a limited budget, everyone agreed that

I should shop for a used car. (13) “It should be something inexpensive with low mileage,” Uncle

Ray insisted.

(14) We went straight to a used-car lot near my dad’s office, where we were greeted by

a cheerful salesman. (15) My aunt and uncle headed for a small blue sedan with 50,000 miles

on the odometer. (16) I went toward a sporty red convertible with 120,000 miles.

(17) “It gets great gas mileage!” Uncle Ray said as he pointed to the sedan.

29

(18) “It’s RED!” I exclaimed as I danced around the sports car.

(19) “The sedan, my aunt noted, “is reasonably priced.”

(20) “But this one is a convertible!” I pleaded.

(21) “The sedan has good tires,” the salesman stressed.

(22) “This one has a CD player!” I shouted.

(23) “Let’s call your mother,” my overwhelmed relatives finally suggested.

(24) “From my personnel experience,” Mom wisely said, “I can tell you that the red car

will look great in the repair shop. (25) And considering how many miles are on the engine, it

will probably be there most of the time. (26) With that in mind, I think you’d better go with the

blue sedan which is a smarter investment.”

(27) Little Blue, I must admit, has been an exceptionally good car. (28) With regular oil

changes, it keeps humming along. (29) Whenever I pass a sporty red convertible being pulled

by a tow truck, I just smile!


sentence 2?

A. Change evidence to evidense

B. Change prove to proof

C. Change my to her

D. Change is to was


in sentence 5?

A. Insert a comma after added

B. Change that to it

C. Change borrow to borrowed

D. Make no change


in sentence 8?

A. Change them to it

B. Change quite to quiet

C. Change frequent to frequently

D. Make no change

30

4. What is the best way to rewrite

sentence 10?

A. It was shortly before my 18th

birthday, I set out to buy my first

car.

B. Shortly before my 18th birthday.

I set out to buy my first car.

C. Shortly before my 18th birthday,

I set out to buy my first car.

D. No correction is needed.


in sentence 11?

A. Change accompany to acompany

B. Change families to family’s

C. Change shrewdest to most

shrewdest

D. Make no change


in sentence 19?

A. Insert quotation marks after the first

comma

B. Change noted to notes

C. Change reasonably to reasonable

D. Make no change


in sentence 24?

A. Change personnel to personal

B. Change the second comma to a

period

C. Change that to it

D. Make no change

8. What change is needed in sentence

26?

A. Delete comma after mindB. Insert a comma after sedanC. Change smarter to smartestD. Delete the quotation marks at the

end of the sentence

9. What correction needs to be made to

sentence 29?

A. Change convertible to corvertable

B. Change smile to smiled

C. Change the exclamation mark to a

question mark

D. No correction is needed

31




1 D 13D R Grammar – Tense Shift

2 A 18B R Punctuation – embedded quote

3 C 13D R Grammar – adverb use

4 C 17C R Correct Structure of Sentence

5 B 13D R Grammar – Possessive Noun

6 A 18B S Punctuation – Quotations

7 A 19A R Spelling

8 B 17B S Punctuation – Nonrestrictive relative clause

9 D 13D R Grammar, Mechanics, and Spelling

32

Editing Passage #9Nicole wrote this story in response to a class assignment. Read Nicole’s paper and think about

the corrections and improvements she should make. When you finish reading, answer the

questions that follow.

City Pig(1) In the dictionary the word mooch means “to beg.” (2) That’s how Moochie the

potbellied pig got his name. (3) He is a moocher, and people love that about him. (4) From

Grandpa Forester to two-year-old Olivia Sánchez.

(5) Everyone in the neighborhood enjoys feeding Moochie a carrot or potato.

(6) Moochie’s owners, the O’Callahans, have had to put there rotund pet on a diet. (7) Now the

sign on Moochie’s fence reads “Vegetables Only.”

(8) The O’Callahan house sits on the corner of 14th and Thompson avenue.

(9) Surrounded by a big yard with rows of corn and tomato plants, the home is on a lovely

patch of country right in the middle of the city. (10) Each morning Moochie emerges from his

shed to greet the day. (11) Like all potbellied pigs, Moochie doesn’t oink, he makes a hoarse

snorting noise. (12) For seven years he snorted his way to the fence each day. (13) His tiny

eyes constantly searched for passersby who might offer him a snack.

33

(14) Then one spring day everything changed: a man named Mike Gorman moved in

next door. (15) Gorman, an urban type loved the boulevards and shops that were a few blocks

away. (16) He did not, however, love living beside what he called a farm!

(17) “There are zoning laws,” he informed Mr. O’Callahan. (18) “Residents cannot raise

livestock! (19) I’ve notified the authorities, so I suggest you relocate your hog.

(20) The neighbors rallied around Moochie. (21) They signed petitions and wrote letters.

(22) But laws are laws. (23) Pigs are considered livestock—even pigs that love humans and

are loved in return. (24) The O’Callahans had 30 days to find a new home for Moochie.

(25) Time ticked away. (26) Neighbors came to feed Moochie one last time. (27) Some little

boys sneaked cookies through the fence. (28) Moochie munched away, unaware of his

impending fate.

(29) Then neighbor Tommy Jones had an idea. (30) He had learned that service

animals were allowed almost everywhere. (31) He had read about service animals—dogs and

monkeys that help the disabled. (32) Why couldn’t Moochie be a “service pig”? (33)

Grandmother O’Callahan was forgetful, and whenever her family went out, she often got

lonely. (34) Potbellied pigs were smart!

(35) Moochie could become a companion pig a helping hand for Grandmother

O’Callahan. (36) The O’Callahans loved the idea and wrote a proposal to the city. (37) They

began training Moochie and bought him a vest (size extra-large) that read “Service Animal.”

(38) City officials seemed glad to have found a loophole that would let Moochie stay

with the O’Callahans. (39) The neighborhood celebrated its victory. (40) Mike Gorman was a

good sport about it; he just avoided the O’Callahan yard. (41) He was the only neighbor who

didn’t appreciate the O’Callahans’ little patch of country.

34

1. What is the best way to rewrite sentences 4 and 5?

A. From Grandpa Forester to two-year-old Olivia Sánchez, everyone in the neighborhood.

Enjoys feeding Moochie a carrot or potato.

B. Everyone in the neighborhood, from Grandpa Forester to two-year-old Olivia Sánchez,

enjoys feeding Moochie a carrot or potato.

C. Everyone in the neighborhood who enjoys feeding Moochie a carrot or potato is from

Grandpa Forester to two-year-old Olivia Sánchez.

D. No correction is needed.


A. Change owners to owner’sB. Insert they after the second comma

C. Change there to theirD. Make no change


A. Change sits to sittingB. Insert a comma after cornerC. Change avenue to AvenueD. Make no change

4. What correction needs to be made to sentence 11?

A. Delete the comma after pigs

B. Change the comma to a semicolon

C. Change hoarse to horse

D. No correction is needed

35


A. Insert a comma after typeB. Change boulevards to BoulevardsC. Insert a comma after boulevardsD. Change away to a way


A. Change notified to notifyedB. Delete soC. Change your to you’reD. Insert quotation marks at the end of the sentence


A. Change become to becameB. Change companion to companonC. Insert a comma after pigD. Make no change


A. Insert a comma after neighborB. Change appreciate to apreciateC. Change O’Callahans’ to O’CallahansD. Make no change


36



1 B 18B R Punctuation – nonessential phrase

2 C 19A R Spelling


4 B 17C R Structure of Compound Sentence

5 A 17B S Punctuation – nonessential phrase

6 D 17B S Punctuation – quotations

7 C 17B S Punctuation – nonrestrictive modifier

8 D 13D R Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling

37

Editing Passage #10

After a firsthand experience with an unusual species of fish, Christopher wrote this paper. He

would like you to review his paper and think about the corrections and improvements he

should make. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

The One That Didn’t Get Away

(1) With a fishing pole in my hand, I prowled the banks of Goose Creek one August

morning. (2) I was after catfish, the major residents of the neighborhood stream. (3) Suddenly I

spied a shadow in the water. (4) I was sure it was the world’s biggest catfish!

(5) Shortly after I cast my line, the fish took the bait with a hard strike. (6) I gasped as I

reeled it in. (7) It was obvious that I had not caught an ordinary creek fish! (8) I filed my plastic

gear box with creek water and toted the red-bellied fish home alive. (9) While my new friend

relaxed in the bathtub, I did some research.

(10) First I checked my reference books and the Internet. (11) Then I called Reuben’s

Reef, a pet store that specializes in exotic fish. (12) I soon realized I had a red piranha, a fish

normally found in South America. (13) I learned that many states have outlawed the sale of

piranhas because experts worry that people will tire of it and release the fish into local

waterways. (14) This is a problem because piranhas in the wild will eat many other kinds of

fish, threatening native species.

38

(15) I checked my piranha’s razor-sharp teeth and read about its meat-eating habits, I

named it Jaws. (16) My mother hesitantly agreed to let me keep my unusual pet, at least until I

could find a suitable home for it. (17) I assured her that the piranha’s reputation for being

bloodthirsty it was undeserved.

(18) Jaws would not leap from the bathtub and attack us. (19) In fact, piranhas are

usually quite shy. (20) Those kept as pets spend most of their time hiding behind aquarium

plants. (21) All the same, I treated Jaws with cautious and respect. (22) I knew that an

accidental bite from my piranha’s teeth would be very painful!

(23) When Jaws refused the worms I offered; I decided that I needed to find him a new

home fast! (24) Luckily, Reuben’s Reef offered me 40 dollars in exchange for my exotic pal.

(25) “You saved that animal’s life,” Reuben told me. (26) “He wouldn’t have survived

long in that cold creek.” (27) Then Reuben showed me the 25-gallon aquarium where Jaws

would be on display. (28) “Piranhas are high-maintenance fish,” Reuben said, “but this ones

worth it because he’s a beauty.” (29) Together, we admirred the piranha’s flat glossy-black

sides and bright belly.

(30) Jaws seemed happy in his new home. (31) My mom was ecstatic to have her

bathtub back. (32) And when my story was featured in the newspaper, I became an instant

celebrity. (33) A day of fishing had turned into a pretty exciting adventure.

1. What change should be made to sentence 8?

A. Change filed to filledB. Insert a comma after waterC. Insert it after totedD. Change red-bellied to red bellied

39


A. Change have outlawed to has outlawedB. Change worry to worryingC. Change it to themD. Make no change

3. What is the correct way to revise sentence 15?

A. After checking my piranha’s razor-sharp teeth and reading about its meat-eating habits,

I named it Jaws.

B. After checking my piranha’s razor-sharp teeth, and I read about its meat-eating habits. I

named it Jaws.

C. After checking my piranha’s razor-sharp teeth, I read about its meat-eating habits, I

named it Jaws.

D. My piranha, I checked on its razon-sharp teeth. I read about its meat-eating habits,

naming it Jaws.


A. Change reputation to ReputationB. Delete itC. Change was to wereD. Change undeserved to underserved


A. Change I to theyB. Change treated to treatC. Change cautious to cautionD. Make no change

40


A. Change the semicolon to a comma

B. Change decided to decideC. Change him to themD. Make no change


A. Change the comma after fish to a period

B. Delete the quotation marks before butC. Change ones to one’sD. Make no change


A. Change we to theyB. Change admirred to admiredC. Insert a comma after sidesD. Make no change


A. Insert she after momB. Change ecstatic to ecstaticallyC. Insert a comma after bathtubD. Make no change


41



1 A 19A R Spelling

2 C 13D R Grammar – Pronoun Agreement

3 A 17C R Structure of Complex Sentences

4 B 13D R Grammar – redundant pronoun

5 C 13D R Grammar – Parts of Speech

6 A 17C R Structure of Complex Sentence

7 C 13D R Grammar – Possessive Pronouns

8 B 19A R Spelling

9 D 13D R Grammar, Mechanics, Spelling

42

Editing Passage #11

Brian’s English teacher asked him to write a narrative about a person who overcomes a fear.

Brian decided to write a story about his brother Dean. Brian wants you to read his paper and

think about the corrections and improvements he should make. When you finish reading,


Climbing the Wall(1) Dean could hear the voices from 40 feet below him.

(2) “Don’t give up, Dean!” Uncle Jim shouted encouragingly. (3) “You can do it!”

(4) “Your almost there,” Kurt called as he tugged on the rope that ensured his cousin’s

safety. (5) Kurt and Dean had just finished helping Uncle Jim install a climbing wall at a

community gym in Canterville, Texas. (6) The wall which was made of concrete and crushed

granite. (7) It looked just like a sandstone cliff. (8) Despite his fear of heights, Dean had

volunteered to be the first to climb the new wall.

(9) Dean heard his cousin and uncle urging him on from below, but he didn’t reply.

(10) He was studying the last section of the thing to determine a strategy for scaling the

artificial rock wall. (11) He knew he was only a few feet from the top but if he neglected to

concentrate on what he was doing, he could slip.

(12) Dean trusted Kurt to serve as his belayer, which is the person who controls a

climber’s safety rope. (13) While Dean climbed, Kurt took the slack out of the safety rope that

was attatched at the top of the wall. (14) That way, if Dean starts to slip, he would fall only a

few feet before the rope caught him.

(15) However, Dean didn’t want to fall even a few feet, he was too close to his goal.

(16) As Dean clung to the rock face calculating each move with precision, Uncle Jim and Kurt

watched intently. (17) Finally, with a burst of energy, Dean climbed over the last outcropping

and exuberantly shouted, “I did it!”

43

(18) Uncle Jim and Kurt cheered wildly. (19) Dean smiled broadly and then grew quiet

again. (20) To rappel to the ground was the scariest part for him, and his uncle and cousin

knew it. (21) The last time Dean had scaled a climbing wall, it had taken 15 minutes for him to

muster the courage to rappel down. (22) As the others watched in anticipation, Dean

consciously relaxed his tense muscles, took a deep breath, and backed over the edge. (23) In

seconds he had descended more than 40 feet to the gym floor. (24) His feet had barely hit the

floor when Dean surprised Uncle Jim and Kurt by exclaiming, “I’m ready to go up again!”


A. Change Your to You’reB. Delete the comma after thereC. Change cousin’s to cousins’D. Make no change

2. What is the best way to rewrite sentences 6 and 7?

A. The wall, which was made of concrete and crushed granite, it looked just like a

sandstone cliff.

B. The wall was made of concrete and crushed granite, it looked like a sandstone cliff.

C. Made of concrete and crushed granite. The wall looked like a sandstone cliff.

D. The wall, made of concrete and crushed granite, looked just like a sandstone cliff.


A. Insert a comma after topB. Change concentrate to consentrateC. Change was doing to is doingD. Change slip to slipped

44

4. What change needs to be made in sentence 13?

A. Change Kurt to heB. Insert a comma after ropeC. Change attatched to attachedD. No change is needed

5. What correction should be made to sentence 14?

A. Change starts to startedB. Change he to theyC. Insert a comma after feetD. Make no change


A. Change didn’t to doesn’tB. Change the comma after feet to a semicolon

C. Change too to toD. Make no change

7. What change needs to be made in sentence 16?

A. Change clung to clingsB. Insert a comma after faceC. Change calculating to calculateD. Delete the comma after precision


A. Change To rapel to RappellingB. Insert a comma after groundC. Delete the comma after him

D. Change knew to know


45



1 A 19A R Spelling

2 D 17C R Structure of Sentences

3 A 17C R Structure of Compound-Complex Sentence

4 C 19A R Spelling

5 A 13D R Grammar – Tense Shift

6 B 17C R Structure of Compound Sentence

7 B 18B S Punctuation - nonrestrictive relative clause

8 A 17B S Parts of Speech - Verbals

46

· web view(4) now i was the reigning hodges family champ. (5) i knew that my glory could end...

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