€¦ · being a bar/bat mitzvah parent is super exciting – and super stressful. between venues...

A powerful, expressive speech that’s YOU. www.yourjewishspeech.com

Mazel tov!

Being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent is super exciting – and super stressful. Between

venues and vendors, food and favors, décor and more… your head can start

spinning years ahead of the actual Mitzvah date.

To help you keep your head on your shoulders and reduce the risk of

hyperventilation, we created The Ultimate Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prep Guide.

A combination guide and notebook, the Prep Guide will outline all the different

components that go into your Bar/Bat Mitzvah planning (so you won’t forget any).

Each component has prompts for you to write down all the details as you

investigate.

No more forgetting to ask important questions and wasting time and

energy calling back.

Plus, when it’s time to make a decision, all the information will be

organized, at your fingertips.

So what are you waiting for? Print this out, and let’s get started planning The

Ultimate Bar/Bat Mitzvah – your child’s!


Basic Info

Child’s name: __________________________

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date: ____________________________

What parts will your B’Mitzvah have?

Synagogue service

Party in hall or hotel

Other _________________________

What will your child be doing in preparation for his/her B’Mitzvah?

Torah reading

Mitzvah project

Other _____________________


Venue

Where will you have the B’Mitzvah?

List potential venues for the party:

(This is brainstorming. List the Queen Elizabeth if you want. You’ll narrow it down

later.)

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________

Circle the venues that have the most potential. For each of those venues, use

the detail boxes on the next pages to keep track of the information.

(You can always print out more of those pages if there aren’t enough.)


Venue: __________________________________

Location: _________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________

Available on our date? ___________________________

Other details:

Venue: __________________________________

Location: _________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


List potential venues for the synagogue service:

(Again, this is brainstorming. List any and every option. You’ll narrow it down

later.)

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. ________________________________________________

Circle the venues that have the most potential. For each of those venues, use




Venue: __________________________________

Location: _________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Venue: __________________________________

Location: _________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


Honors

Family and friends are often given honors during the synagogue service. These

can include the aliyot (being called up for the Torah reading), the opening of the

Ark, or the rolling up of the Torah scroll after the reading.

Start thinking about the different honors you will assign and to whom. Honor Honoree


Mitzvah Project

In many communities, the bar/bat mitzvah child does a mitzvah project to add

meaning and significance to becoming a Jewish adult.

Here are some ideas to get you started: Toy drive, food drive, volunteer in soup

kitchen, volunteer in nursing home, collect money for charity, clothing drive…

A recommended resource is http://www.themitzvahbowl.com/

Brainstorm mitzvah project ideas here:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. ________________________________________________

http://www.themitzvahbowl.com/


B’Mitzvah Tutor/Class

B’Mitzvah tutors and classes can cover anything from reading your child’s Torah

portion to Hebrew language to Jewish history and customs to Jewish values and

responsibilities.

Your child may be attending a Jewish school or Hebrew school where they do

some preparation for the B’Mitzvah, and a tutor/class will be a supplement. Or

the class/tutor may be their only B’Mitzvah prep.

What preparation for the B’Mitzvah does your child already get from his/her

school?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

What extra things do you want a tutor or class to teach your child?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


List names and details of potential B’Mitzvah tutors/classes:

Name: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Recommended by: _________________________

Goals for B’Mitzvah child: ____________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Timeframe: ________________________________________________

Price: ___________________________

Other details:

Name: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Recommended by: _________________________

Goals for B’Mitzvah child: ____________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Timeframe: ________________________________________________

Price: ___________________________

Other details:


Food

Food, glorious food. The fuel of every great event. B’Mitzvah fare can range from

homecooked goodness to royal feasts and everything in between. And then there

are the trimmings: candy bars, food trucks, B’Mitzvah cakes… Put your money

where your mouth is, please.

What extras do you want to have at the B’Mitzvah?

B’Mitzvah cake

Candy bar

Food truck

Other ___________________

Other ___________________

What do you want your menu to look like?

Get all your ideas down. Everything from specific dishes, to cooking style, to

presentation.

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


List potential caterers:

(This is brainstorming. You’ll narrow it down later.)

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________

Circle the caterers that have the most potential. For each of those caterers, use




Caterer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Caterer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


List options for food trucks (if relevant):

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Circle the trucks that have the most potential. For each of those options, use




Food Truck: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Food Truck: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


Cake design:

List options for bakers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Circle the bakers that have the most potential. For each of those options, use



Do you have ideas about the cake flavor and/or design?

Get all your thoughts down.

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Baker: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Cake options and prices: ____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:

Baker: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Cake options and prices: ____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:


Are wine and liquor included in the catering?

Yes

No

If not, are you having a bar?

List options for bars/bartenders:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Circle the bars/bartenders that have the most potential. For each option, use



What types of wine and liquor do you want to have at the B’Mitzvah?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Bar service/bartender: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Options and prices: ____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:

Bar service/bartender: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:


Guests

This is the really important part, right? Which family and friends you want to be

present at your occasion? (And which people you might not want, but you need

to invite anyway? Yes, the guest list is one of the most important parts, but

sometimes it’s fun to plan, and sometimes there’s stress involved. It’s like that for

almost everyone. Either way, time to start thinking about it.)

Preliminary guest list:


Party planner

Are you having one?

Yes

No

Maybe – depends on _________________________

List options for party planners:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________

Circle the planners that have the most potential. For each option, use the detail

boxes on the next pages to keep track of the information.



Party Planner: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Party Planner: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


Theme

This is where you get to let your creativity run loose (or develop it).

Colors:

Will you have a theme?

Yes

No

What color scheme do you want? (Keep in mind décor of rooms/areas you’ve

reserved for ceremony and reception.)

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

List potential themes.

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Who will be in charge of creating the décor?

Us (who in family? ______________________________)

Outside source

If outside source, list options:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________

Circle the options that have the most potential. Use the detail boxes on the next

pages to keep track of the information.



Decorator: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Decorator: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


Traditions

List B’Mitzvah traditions you may want to incorporate into your ceremony or

party (poems, candlelighting):

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________

9. ________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________


Entertainment

What type of entertainment are you thinking about having? Options include

bands and MC/DJs.

For each type of entertainment, list options. Use the detail boxes on the next


Type of entertainment ___________________________________

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Start thinking music! What are the “must-play” and “must-not-play” songs

for your DJ/band?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Entertainment: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:

Entertainment: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


Type of entertainment ___________________________________

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Entertainment: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Contact person: ____________________________

Price: ____________________________________


Other details:


photos

Pictures show up at B’Mitzvahs around every corner, whether it’s the photo

montage of your young man or woman when they were two years old with sweet

potato smeared in their hair, or the photographer snapping pics of them laughing

with their friends.

Photographers

List options for photographers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

What’s important to you in a photographer? Think about style, attitude,

timeliness…

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Photographer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:

Photographer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:


Will you take a family portrait pre-B’mitzvah?

Yes

No

Maybe

Will you have a photo booth?

Yes

No

Maybe

List options for photo booths:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Circle the options that have the most potential. Use the detail boxes on the next




Photo booth: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:

Photo booth: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:


Will you have a photo montage?

Yes

No

Maybe

Who will be in charge of creating the photo montage?

Us (who in family? ______________________________)

Outside source

List options for photo montage providers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

What theme or style would you like in the photo montage?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Photo montage: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:

Photo montage: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:


Will you have a videographer?

Yes

No

Maybe

List options for videographers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Circle the options that have the most potential. Use the detail boxes on the

next pages to keep track of the information.

What’s important to you in a photographer? Think about style, attitude,

timeliness…

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Videographer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:

Videographer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:


Flowers

List options for florists:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________




What types of flowers do you want to have at the B’Mitzvah?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Florist: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:

Florist: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________


Other details:


Printed Items

There’s a lot of paper that goes into B’Mitzvahs: invitations, announcements,

thank you notes. Although e-versions are gaining in popularity, most people still

want to hold something in their hand.

List options for designers/printers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________



What type of design were you thinking about for the invitation?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Designer/printer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:

Designer/printer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:


Will you have a logo/monogram designed for the B’Mitzvah?

Yes

No

Will the invitation designer do the logo/monogram?

Yes

No

If not, list options for logo designers:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________





Logo designer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________

Other details:

Logo designer: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________

Price: ____________________________________

Other details:


Will you get thank you cards from the same source as the invitation?

Yes

No

If not, where will you get thank you notes?

__________________________________________________________________


Equipment

Do you need tables, chairs, or other rental equipment that are not given by the

venue?

Type of Equipment How Many? Places to Get from


Favors

What will you give your guests to take home? From chocolates to backpacks,

almost anything can be personalized and provide a souvenir of your B’Mitzvah.

List ideas for favors:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

List possible places to order the favors:

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________




Favor source: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:

Favor source: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

____________________________________

Other details:


Guestbook

Your guestbook/sign-in book gives your guests the opportunity to leave a

personal message on the big day. It’s great to look at afterwards and remember

all the people who were there and the special wishes they had for the B’Mitzvah

celebrant.

Sign-in books don’t have to be books; they can be signs, montages – even a door!

Who will be in charge of creating the guestbook?

Us (who in family? ______________________________)

Outside source

If outside source, what are the options?

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

Brainstorm ideas for guestbooks: book, board or something else? What type

of design or style do you want?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Circle the options that have the most potential. Use the detail boxes to keep

track of the information.

Guestbook creator: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

Other details:

Guestbook creator: __________________________________

Contact Info: ______________________________

_______________________________


____________________________________

Other details:


Clothing

Clothes make the man – on the day he or she turns into a man/woman! Take

some time to plan out the clothing before you hit the stores.

Is there a color theme for the clothing?

____________________________________________________________

Family member

Part of B’Mitzvah (service, party)

Clothing needed

Check this box when have clothing


Guest packages

Your local family and friends will be able to make it to the B’Mitzvah with the

driving instructions you’ll enclose in the invitation. Out-of-town guests may need

a little more guidance, like packages with hotel reservation and city information.

How many out-of-town guests are you having?

________________

What information will they need to know for travel and stay arrangements for

the B’Mitzvah?

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

How and when will you get them that information?

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________


Speech

The speeches can be the most powerful and memorable parts of the B’Mitzvah –

both for your child and for your guests. Put in the thought, the time – and get

guidance if you need it in order to come out with a wowzer!

Who will be speaking? (child, you and/or spouse, other family or friends)

1. ________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________

Start planning your speech. What do want to say about your B’Mitzvah child?

What messages do you want your child to take with them?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Transportation

Sometimes it’s as simple as “our family will go in the family car and everyone else

will get there on their own.” And sometimes there are elderly relatives who need

to be picked up, or other transportation responsibilities that fall on you. Be smart

– plan in advance so that you don’t end up making last minute phone calls to find

rides the night before.

Who do I need to find a ride for?

Who can potentially drive them?

Who is driving them? (final)

Do you need to arrange parking at the venue?

Yes

No


Seating Plan

Who’s sitting next to whom? Until they create a computer program that can take

into account everyone’s relationships and preferences, we’re stuck doing it by

hand. But it’s worth it when everyone has great conversation and gets along with

their seatmates.

How many tables will there be? _______________________________________

How many people at each table? ______________________________________

Use the next pages to draw out sample tables and seating arrangements (hint:

use a pencil).

Are there any special relationships that should be taken into consideration

(people who definitely should or definitely should not be sitting next to each

other/at the same table)?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


Seating Plan charts 1


Seating plan charts 2


Anything else?

We’ve tried to make this guide as comprehensive as possible. But your B’Mitzvah

is unique, and so you make have unique things you’re planning. Use this page to

keep track of them.


The end

Wow! You are one planned out parent! We’re sure you’ll have an amazing, and

hopefully more relaxed B’Mitzvah.

(If you have any feedback on how this guide could be made more useful for

B’Mitzvah parents like you, be in touch at [email protected]. We’re

here to help.

And if you find yourself getting stuck on your speech for your B’Mitzvah boy or

girl, be in touch for a free speech consultation. We’ve worked with a lot of

parents who say, “I don’t know why this is so hard. I can usually communicate

really well. But for some reason I’m having a hard time expressing my thoughts

about my child.” We’ve helped them get their thoughts in order and give

speeches they love. So if that’s you, drop us a line.)

Mazel tov!

mailto:[email protected]



€¦ · being a bar/bat mitzvah parent is super exciting – and super stressful. between venues...

Documents