mitzvah spring 2012

Spring 2012 mitzvahmag.com

IT’S ONLY JUST BEGUNCULTIVATING A LIFELONGCONNECTION TO JUDAISM

CREATING AMEANINGFULMITZVAH PROJECT

FINDING THE RIGHT PARTY VENUE

(HAVE WE GOTA LIST FOR YOU)

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4 Mitzvah Spring 2012

10 EDITOR’S NOTE Happy To Help

12 WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? The bar/bat mitzvah celebration is a learning experience for parents too—and they like to share

16 BAT MITZVAH COMES OF AGE The history of this once radical innovation is the subject of an exhibit at the JCC

18 CRAFTING MEANINGFUL MITZVAH PROJECTS How parents help inspire their children

20 A TIME TO PLAN A step-by-step guide to planning a celebration to remember

22 A PARTY TO REMEMBER The only rule for a memorable party is to plan one that suits your family

28 FINDING THE RIGHT VENUE You want options? You got them.

33 IT’S ONLY JUST BEGUN A bar/bat mitzvah can be a momentous kick-off to a lifelong commitment to Judaism

42 THE BEST BAR MITZVAH INVITE EVER Remember, don’t forget to arrive late…

On the cover: Photo by Michael Jurick (www.michaeljurick.net)

30

inside

For more articles and ideas, visit mitzvahmag.com

www.michaeljurick.net

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A Publication

Editor Eric [email protected]

Art Director George W. [email protected]

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Michael Jurickwww.michaeljurick.net

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Associate PublisherMary Ann Oklesson

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New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine,

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editor’s note

Happy To HelpWelcome to MITZVAH

magazine. We’re sure many of you planning your child’s upcoming simcha are real-izing that getting tips from other parents who have been there/done that is the best source of help. That’s what we hope MITZVAH magazine will do for you, too—guide you with stories, resources and helpful hints as you plan an enjoyable and meaningful event. There’s no need for you to reinvent the wheel; our writers, parents and experts are here to make the journey less stressful.

In this issue, we offer you some great suggestions to help your child find a great mitzvah project and ways to make this milestone last a lifetime. Upper East Side au-thor and mom Melissa Stoller

has some wonderful tips on how to make Jewish traditions part of your child’s daily life way beyond age 13. We also have a roundup of great places to host a party from the classic to the offbeat.

If you’re on the Upper West Side before April 27th, be sure to stop by the lobby of the JCC on 76th Street and Am-sterdam Avenue to see their exhibit, Bat Mitzvah Comes of Age. It’s a fascinating look at what’s only recently become a common practice.

Happy planning and Mazel Tov!

Eric [email protected]

R

Spring 2012 mitzvahmag.com

IT’S ONLY JUST BEGUNCULTIVATING A LIFELONGCONNECTION TO JUDAISM

CREATING AMEANINGFULMITZVAH PROJECT

FINDING THE RIGHT PARTY VENUE

(HAVE WE GOTA LIST FOR YOU)

COVER_MitzvahSpring_2012.indd 1 3/26/12 12:41 PM

p.S. Check out our website, mitzvahmag.com, for more good ideas, and feel free to

email me with any story ideas, tips, questions or suggestions.

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What Can I tell You?

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebration Is A Learning Experience For Parents, Too—And They’re Happy To Share

Moms always say that the best advice they get is from other moms, so

why should planning a bar or bat mitzvah be any different from discipline, potty training, or ap-plying to preschool? Since moms (and of course, dads, too) are the brains behind most of the plan-ning that goes into making their children’s big day a big success, we’ve gone directly to the heart of the operation to get tips to help you make your simcha special.

When I GIVe a BaR oR Bat MItZVah GIFt, I InCluDe a BlanK CheCK for $50 for the child to send to a charity of their choosing. This way they get to think about donating to a cause that means something to them. One girl gave it to an organization that was fundraising for a disease that one of her friend’s had and another boy gave it to a breast cancer charity in honor of his mother. The kids get so many gifts, but I think they appreciate this because it makes them think a little. And it’s a lot better than me saying I made a donation to a cause I care about in their name. Why not let them choose? After all, that’s what becoming a bar/bat mitzvah is all about.

—Donna Henken

IF You aRe DoInG tWo PaRtIeS, like a luncheon after temple and a night party for kids and some close friends, don’t forget to have someone supervising all the details at the luncheon. I’m still having nightmares about all that went wrong at our luncheon. My husband, Phil—and everyone else—only saw what was wonderful, but as the mom/wife/planner/ I know how much better it could have been. My advice is, don’t skimp on having a party person at the luncheon to put all of your creative, wonderful touches into place. You may be late and detained at temple, like I was, and it would be really helpful to have someone (probably someone paid) there to realize your dream. Nobody told me that; I wish they had!

—Barbara Bergman Witt

ADVICE

Photo by Michael Jurick

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Mitzvah Spring 2012 13

I PUT THE 100 PURPLE DUFFEL BAGS I ORDERED AS “GIVEAWAYS” for my daughter’s bat mitzvah in the back of the bar of the restaurant when we were setting up for the party. I figured this way they’d be out of the way and I’d take them out at the end of the party when the guests were leaving. Only I forgot all about them and we never did give them out! Now I have so many purple duffel bags left over; we give them to everyone who visits. In retrospect, I should have asked the restaurant manager to put them by the door at the end of the party or assigned a friend to be in charge, instead of leaving that for me to remember! As the mother of the bat mitzvah, there’s so much for you to do so you need to learn to delegate some of the responsibilities.

Also, I wished I had given the photog-rapher a list of photos to take and had asked him to take individual shots of my daughter before the service. Unfortunately, we didn’t even end up with a really good family shot of the four of us because we were so busy making sure she had her photo taken with everyone else.

—Jayne Hickey

BITE-SIZE IS THE WAY TO GO WITH APPETIZERS DURING COCKTAIL HOUR. Serve little things that are easy to pick up; you need no silverware and you can grab and go. It cuts down on waste, too. People grab a slice of pizza, take a bite and leave it to go dance or talk to someone. Little things are easier to eat and more eco-nomical. We served that way for the whole party; chilled soup in individual cups, little quiches and mini desserts. All finger food that can be popped in your mouth.

I also didn’t want to drag people who had traveled twice to things; having them come to services and come back later or the next day to go to the party. We did a luncheon right after services downstairs in the synagogue. The kids’ party was the next day.

—Gladys Gruenwald

FOR THE PARTY:1. Stay organized. Unless you really

have special needs for catering, I think it’s best to use the caterer that the synagogue recommends because they are most familiar

with the place. (Otherwise, things like certi-fications and insurance can be a real pain to scramble around for at the last minute).

2. If your date is during the holiday season (late November to early Decem-ber) and you have out of town guests, be sure to book hotels early (up to 5-6 months in advance). Hotels are very expensive during that time of year. Or consider Long Island City...it’s an easy cab ride into the city and hotels can be half the price.

3. Remember that this party is for the child, so food and entertainment should be appropriate.

Spiritual Stuff:1. See No. 3 above. Don’t forget: the

whole day is about the child and his or her milestone. It’s easy to get caught up in the party, $$$, etc., but we found it very mov-ing and important to try to slow it all down and enjoy it as a family. We’re not super religious, but being part of a community and having all of the people you love there to celebrate is really moving.

—Mark Thaler and Sharon Sommers

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WE DID A VERY NON-TRADITIONAL SERVICE AND PARTY FOR OUR SON. Leo did not go to Hebrew school (we don’t belong to a synagogue). Instead, he worked with a teacher who then led the service along with a song leader I came across by chance. Something a lot of people probably don’t know is that you don’t need to be a rabbi and/or cantor to officiate at a bar mitzvah. So we designed our own service around a social justice theme which was something we all agreed suited Leo well. My feeling has long been that the whole bar mitzvah business—which is what I really think the whole thing has become—is out of control and out of touch with the meaning of the event. So, we kept it small and simple in every way; number of guests, scope of guests (Leo did not want a collection of adults to whom he had no connection), length of service, and the party. My advice to anybody who ever asks me is to keep it simple. Keep in mind the true meaning of becoming a bar mitzvah, and remember that we are talking about 13-year-olds. I believe the celebration should reflect that, rather than some much grander occasion. The service was everything and more than we hoped for. We are not religious, but I wanted something that would mark this milestone in Leo’s life.

—Stephanie Crossman

INSTEAD OF SPENDING A LOT OF MONEY ON CENTERPIECES, I went into my Picasa account and made photo collages of family and friends organized around different themes like camp, nursery school buddies, and family. (This was also nice because we are shomer Shabbat, so we couldn’t do a PowerPoint show.) I went to my local copy shop and had them printed on 11 x 17 stiff glossy sheets which I folded in half and stood in

the middle of the tables. We had a buffet-style Kiddush luncheon with no assigned seats, so the guests wandered around the room, and would stumble across different collages. I also scattered cootie-catch-ers—aka the folded paper fortune tellers we used to make as kids—around the room. They were a huge hit. I wrote all the categories and fortunes and a designer I found on Etsy created them for me. It was fun to do; everyone enjoyed them and they were pretty inexpensive as well.

—Nancy Miller

BRAINSTORM WITH THE FAMILY CREATIVE WAYS TO PERFORM TIKKUN OLAM during your b’nai mitzvah event. For example, instead of table center-pieces for our son Steven’s bar mitzvah, we will have centerpieces of fruit and canned goods which will be donated to our temple’s food pantry after the party. This is important because it connects your child and family with the spiritual side of this milestone in their life and reminds us all of our religious values.

—Marcy Winkler

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B y L o r i P e r L o w

When Judith Hyman Darsky’s rabbi asked if she would like to become a bas mitzvah (in

the Ashkenazic pronunciation), she asked, “What is that?” In 1955, Judith’s congre-gation in Cincinnati, Ohio, had never held a bat mitzvah service.

Sherry Rosen was invited to have the first bat mitzvah ceremony in Wheeling, West Virginia in 1960, after “a new rabbi came to town and wanted to shake things up and introduce a fancy new custom from those big cities in the east.”

Marjorie Lehman recalls that she “had the desire to stand next to the Torah, read from it, kiss it, carry it, just as they [boys] did.” The ritual committee of her Hewlett, New York, synagogue in 1976 refused her request, so her family created a service in their backyard. Marjorie learned to chant Torah from an Orthodox rabbi, a Holo-caust survivor, who was happy to teach his beautiful Eastern European trope melodies to an avid student.

These stories and others are featured in Bat Mitzvah Comes of Age, an exhibit on view at the JCC in Manhattan through April 27. Produced by Moving Traditions and The National Museum of American Jewish History, the exhibit highlights the voices of bat mitzvah pioneers, women and girls who transformed the ritual from a radical inno-vation into a nearly universal tradition.

Sally Gottesman, Founder and Chair of Moving Traditions, fought and won the battle to have the first Saturday morning bat mitzvah ceremony in her Montclair, New Jersey, congregation in 1975. This challenge had a profound impact on her Jewish identity, and she, along with Mov-ing Traditions, initiated an online survey to collect the stories of other “bat mitzvah firsts.” More than 150 women shared their experiences—the first west of Chicago, the first to wear a tallit, the first adult bat mitzvah of a cadet at West Point, the first at an Orthodox women’s minyan. The exhibit includes narratives and artifacts from everyday trendsetters to prominent women, such as Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, Facebook COO Sheryl Sand-berg, and AJWS President Ruth Messinger, to illustrate the substantial impact of bat mitzvah on Jewish life across the religious spectrum and on the girls (now women) themselves.

The opening of the exhibit coincides with the 90th anniversary of Judith Ka-plan’s historic ceremony at the Society for the Advancement of Judaism in Manhat-tan on March 18, 1922, when she was summoned by her father, Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan (founder of Reconstructionist Judaism) to read from the Bible during services. According to Judith, “No thunder sounded. No lightning struck.” Yet, with this simple but revolutionary act, they initi-ated the ritual of bat mitzvah. In less than a

century, girls, their parents and their clergy challenged and changed communal values and norms to institute this now widely practiced Jewish ritual.

Today, girls often are surprised to learn that publicly marking a bat mitzvah was not always common and that they too may be considered “bat mitzvah firsts” in their own families.

Last March, Eve Gertzman led the entire service without a rabbi or cantor during her bat mitzvah ceremony. Eve was amazed when she discovered that her mother had a ceremony on a Friday night and did not read Torah. Eve had assumed that their services were similar, especially since her mother is a rabbi. Eve’s grand-mother participated in an adult group bat mitzvah service with women, like herself, who were not offered the option at age 13. Eve reflected that “my bat mitzvah was one of the best days of my life, and I will want my daughter to have the same feeling of accomplishment and happiness. I will want her to have exactly what I had... maybe more.”

Lori Perlow is a co-curator of Bat Mitzvah Comes of Age, which will be on display in the Laurie M. Tisch Gallery at the JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Avenue at 76th Street, through April 27. To see related programming check jccmanhattan.org. For information about the national tour, please visit batmitzvahcomesofage.com

Bat Mitzvah CoMes of age The History Of This Once Radical Innovation Is The Subject Of An Exhibit At The JCC

Photos courtesy of Lori Perlow

Jennifer Groen and family, Elkins Park, Pennsylvania, April 26, 1986 (left); Hyman family, Cincinnati, Ohio, April 24, 1953 (above).

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B y L i z S u n e B y , c o - a u t h o r o f t h e M i t z v a h P r o j e c t

B o o k ( j e w i S h L i g h t S )

As my daughter Emma faced her jam-packed pre-bat mitzvah year, she was struggling to come up with an idea for a mitzvah project that she felt excited about and that fit the one criterion I set out: that it not be nameless and faceless, but instead involve direct contact with the people she chose to help.

After much twisting and turning, we sat down together and wrote a list of things Emma loved and cared about. Animals were on the top of her list. I told Emma about a program I had seen promoted on a poster at our public library called Tail Waggin’ Tutors. Sponsored by Therapy Dogs International, the program helps children who are reluctant readers by giving them the chance to read to dogs (and their masters) as a way to overcome fear of judgment and to build self-esteem. Emma loved the idea of training E.J., our Havanese, to become a Tail Waggin’ Tutor and of bringing E.J. to the library to read with children. Together we went to speak to the children’s librarian to learn how Emma could get involved and then for the next four months, Emma dutifully trained our dog to pass the test.

Unfortunately, for E.J., the saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” came true. He flunked. After Emma’s disappointment faded, we went back to her list and she crafted her “Plan B” mitzvah project around her love of desserts. Emma baked cookies and brownies and ran a bake sale at her middle school to raise money for a local school for kids with disabilities and brought the money over to the school herself. She hosted a make-your-own ice cream sundae party for single mothers and their children at a homeless shelter.

And she helped decorate hundreds of gingerbread cookies for a holiday party for children of families who were victims of domestic abuse. Through this whole experience, Emma learned not only about the power of tikkun olam – “repairing the world” through social action – but also about recovering from disappointments.

Many kids, like Emma, feel stymied when they have a blank slate in front of them. It’s not easy to come up with an idea for a mitzvah project. Understandably, they need help seeing how their passions and interests can lead them to projects that are enjoyable and help repair the world at the same time. That’s why my co-author, Diane Heiman, and I wrote The Mitzvah Project Book: Making Mitzvah Part of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah…and Your Life (Jewish Lights). In a nutshell, the book helps kids craft meaningful mitzvah projects that fit who they are and what they care about.

Here are highlights of what we learned from reaching out to kids and parents across the country:

• Start with the child’s interests and talents so mitzvah becomes a way of life. If a mitzvah project relates to what a kid cares about and/or likes to do, mitzvah will extend beyond a one-time project and become part of a child’s DNA.

• Recognize that mitzvah projects come in all shapes and sizes. There are no

specifications for a good or not-so-good mitzvah project. Each kid and each family is in a different situation. Any mitzvah project done from the heart is a good one – whether it took all year or all day.

• Put kids in the driver’s seat. When kids take an active part in shaping their project, they put their own personal mark on it, take ownership for making it happen (of course, often with the help of adults) and feel pride afterwards. In other words, don’t choose the project for them.

• Rest assured that a mitzvah project helps kids take a step towards maturity. Conceiving of and completing a mitzvah project is a great way for preteens/teens to dip their toes in the waters of adulthood. It refocuses them outside of themselves and to the world around them.

There are many, many ways for kids to connect their interests and talents to mak-ing the world a better place – whether they love computers, sports, music, Israel or the environment. Our goal as parents should not be prescriptive, but instead to inspire our children’s creativity and ownership.

Here is an example that illustrates the payoff of helping kids get energized and pointed in the right direction. JJ, an exuber-ant 12-year-old boy was having trouble coming up with an idea for a mitzvah project. His mother sat him down (a feat in itself) and shared my book with him. They flipped through the pages together and

“It’s not easy to come up with an idea for a mitzvah project. Understandably, [many kids] need help seeing how their passions and interests can lead them to projects that are enjoyable and help repair the world at the same time.”

Crafting Meaningful Mitzvah ProjeCts How A Parent Can Help Inspire Their Child

tzedakah

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The Mitzvah Project Book: Making Mitzvah Part of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah…and Your Life is available from jewishlights.com, Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Go to mitzvahprojectbook.com for more information.

then JJ took the book off on his own. He came back to his parents with an idea based on one of the projects in the Food & Cooking chapter — creating a cookbook of Jewish recipes. JJ put his own spin on the idea and took it to a whole new level. JJ’s grandparents live in a Jewish retire-ment community so JJ interviewed seniors there and collected their recipes and related stories to create a cookbook. Then, with the help of his parents and grandparents, he

hosted a party at the retirement community, complete with cookbooks to share and reci-pes to sample. So in addition to the mitzvah of capturing traditional Jewish recipes for generations to come, JJ gave time and atten-tion to elders – yet another mitzvah!

As you support your child through his/her many bar/bat mitzvah preparation responsibilities, seize the opportunity to make the mitzvah project experience one that is filled with the joy of tikkun olam.

Mitzvah Ideas, Local And GlobalLocal: If your child is looking for ideas of local organizations to support, check out teenlife.com/newyork and click on “volunteer.” TeenLife hosts an annual Community Service Fair in NYC, and has lists of non-profits that welcome teen volunteers. Here’s a sampling (there are many more), which you can also read about by visiting their websites: • American Museum of Natural

History/Volunteer Services (amnh.org)

• Carter Burden Center for the Aging (burdencenter.org)

• CityScience (cityscience.org)• DoSomething (dosomething.org) • Governors Island Alliance

(governorsislandalliance.org)• Homes for the Homeless

(hfhnyc.org)• Media for Humanity

(media4humanity.org)• Pencils Of Promise (pencilsof-

promise.org)• Project Sunshine

(projectsunshine.org)• She’s the First (shesthefirst.org)

Global: In addition, when I interviewed kids and families across the country to gather their mitzvah project ideas, I learned about many global organiza-tions that kids supported. Here are few related to some popular interests:• Does your child love shoes? Soles-

4Souls (soles4souls.org) collects shoes to distribute to people in need in over 125 countries includ-ing Haiti, Kenya, Thailand and the United States.

• Into animals? The World Wildlife Fund (worldwildlife.org) offers one hundred different species for symbolic adoption.

• Plays soccer? Soccer 4 Haiti (soccer4haiti.org) was started by a group of American kids to collect new and used soccer balls and send them to Haitian children to give them something fun to do as they recover from the destruction of the recent earthquake there.

• Wants to help the environment? The Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel (aspni.org) search-es for environmentally sustainable and economically sound ways to promote growth while protect-ing Israel’s unique environmental heritage.

Liz Suneby and her daughter Emma at Emma’s bat mitzvah. (PHOTO BY Samuel Ruggles)

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TIMELINE

2-3 yearS before:· Get the date from your synagogue.· Start thinking about what this rite of passage means to your family and your child and what type of celebration you want to have.

12-18 MonthS before:· Draft a rough guest list so you have an estimate of the number of people (this will help you choose the venue).· Decide on a style for the event that suits your child, family, and budget so you’ll know what to look for.· Ask friends and relatives who have planned similar events for advice and recommendations.· Get price quotes from potential caterers, photographers, entertainers, venues, and party planners. Give deposits to any you’re seriously considering, keeping in mind that they may be non-refundable.

1 year before:· Lock in a location, band/DJ, caterer, and photographer/videographer. · If you are using a theme and/or color scheme for the event, choose it now to help in related decisions. · Book a block of rooms at a nearby hotel.· Send out “save the date” cards. This is especially important if your event is over a holiday weekend and/or you have many out-of-town guests who will need to purchase plane tickets. Include hotel information for advance reservations.· Look up your child’s Torah portion and discuss its mean-ing. Help your child choose a mitzvah project.

6-8 MonthS before:· Your child begins tutoring to learn the Torah portion. Make time for such appointments, studying, and meetings with the rabbi and cantor.

A STep-BY-STep GuIDe To pLAnnInGA ceLeBrATIon To reMeMBer

B y e l y s s a y a z o w i t z

A Time to Plan

Although your child may have just hit double digits, it’s likely you’re already dreaming about his or her upcoming bar/bat mitzvah. Many synagogues assign dates two, three, and even four years in advance, so there’s no reason you can’t start looking for a place to host your celebration, ask for business cards when you hear a DJ you like, or begin thinking about a theme as you start the planning process. After, all, the more you do in advance, the

more relaxing the last few months and weeks leading up to your simcha will be. Here’s a timeline to keep you on track:

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· Develop a guest list with current addresses. Set up a com-puter spreadsheet to keep track of RSVPs, presents received, and when thank-you notes are sent.· Select and order invitations, thank-you notes, and person-alized kippot.· Choose and order centerpieces, decorations, and party favors.· Organize photos for a video montage or sign-in board.· Plan any other events for the bar/bat mitzvah weekend, in-cluding a Friday evening Shabbat dinner or a Sunday brunch.

3 MonthS before:· Finalize menu, centerpieces, and decorations.· Shop for clothing for all family members. (Wait until one month before event to have a growing boy’s suit tailored.)

2 MonthS before:· Weigh invitation to ensure proper postage and mail invita-tions -- the earlier the better. If you get lots of negative responses, you may still have time to invite some people from your second-tier list.· If you’re holding a candle-lighting ceremony, choose the people to be honored and work with your child to write any introductions and choose corresponding music.· Develop a timeline for the event that includes formalities, horas, entertainment, and food service, and coordinate with the entertainers and caterers.· Make appointments for hair stylists, barbers, and mani-curists.

· Make a play list for the DJ and a “do not play list” if there are songs you and your child definitely don’t want.

1 Month before:· Reconfirm all service providers and the time they are expected to arrive; discuss any special instructions (i.e., give a list of photographs you want taken to make sure the photographer gets them).· Create a seating plan as RSVPs arrive. Call anyone you haven’t heard from. Make place cards and alphabetize them. (If many RSVPs are still not in, add table numbers later as you finalize seating.)· Coordinate a rehearsal time with your synagogue. Some will allow you to video this event in lieu of the actual ser-vice.· Arrange hospitality baskets for out-of-town guests. Include a schedule of events and detailed directions.· Write speeches and toasts.· Have final clothing fittings. 1 week before:· Confirm final guest count with caterer. Remember: once you have guaranteed a number, this is what you will have to pay for, even if fewer guests show up.· Drop off seating cards at party location.· Get checks ready to pay any vendors on the day of your event. Remember to keep cash available for tips.· Take formal family pictures in the synagogue.· Relax and enjoy this special time with your child, family, and friends!

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As These Two Bar/Bat Celebrations Remind Us, The Only Rule For A Memorable Party Is To

Plan One That Suits Your Family

By Marla Warserman

PartyRemember!

ATo

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I n t e r v I e w w I t h m o m , r a m y S h a r p

When Ramy Sharp puts her mind to something, she epitomizes the Nike slogan and just does it. Two years ago, she found herself with three kids in school, a flair for fashion and an inability to find the perfect top for evenings out. Never one to sit idly around, Sharp decided to start her own fashion line – Ramy Brook – and now celebrities and fashionistas alike don not only her flirty blouses but an array of ready-to-wear. Not surprisingly, when Sharp started planning her son Kyle’s bar mitzvah – not long after her company launched - she knew what she wanted and how to make it happen.

How far in advance did you start planning Kyle’s bar mitzvah?Ramy: Although I received his date when he was in third

grade, I really only started planning about a year in advance.

Where did you begin?Ramy: I began by speaking to a few friends who had recently

gone through the process and recommended I use a party planner. I called Melissa Rosenbloom from Gourmet Advisory Services and it was one of the best decisions I made. She completely understood the type of affair we wanted as a family and left no stone unturned.

I also had taken mental notes from other parties we had been fortunate enough to attend so I had a sense of what I hoped to accomplish.

Did your son want to be involved in the process and did he want a theme?

Ramy: My son definitely had a say. We didn’t have a theme, but since his favorite color is green, that’s the color we went with.

What made you choose to host your party at Tribeca 360 and were you at all concerned that it was a new venue that had been open for less than one year?

Ramy: Because of the number of friends and family that we invited, my choices of space were somewhat limited. Tribeca 360 was under construction when we booked it. But, the venue is run by the same people who run Tribeca Rooftop and my party planner was confident they would do a good job for us and that once the construction was done, we would love it. She was 100% right! It was the perfect venue for the bar mitzvah.

Did you do a formal sit-down dinner for the kids?Ramy: No. We did a lounge set up. I find that most kids do not

want to sit. And, my son preferred the lounge idea, as well.

Kyle SHarp’S Bar MiTzvaHaT TriBeca 360

venDorS for Kyle’S parTy:

venue: Tribeca 360, (212) 625-266florist: Diana Gould Ltd., (212) 629-6993photographer: Michael Jurick Photography,jurick.net

Music & Games provided By: Total Entertainment,totalentertainment.comparty planner: Melissa Rosenbloom,gourmetadvisory.comMontage: Jesse Hartman – Hart Pictures,hartpictures.com

PARTYSTORY_MITZ_0412.indd 23 3/27/12 11:42 AM


What did you serve for the kids and adults?Ramy: The food was great. Cocktail hour was sushi, caviar,

antipasto and more. Adult dinner began with a chopped salad, then the option of steak or fish. And the table had spinach and French fries for everyone. The kids had a bunch of choices including Farinelli Pizza – a favorite of Kyle’s – subs, sushi, fries, chicken fingers, salad and more! For dessert, we brought in 16 Handles and Insomnia cookies and lots of others sweets and the kids loved it!

Did you have a DJ and did the kids dance?Ramy: We used Total Entertainment. We had a DJ with three

live pieces (bongos, violin and a saxophone) and everyone danced all night.

Did you bring in games and which was the most popular?Ramy: The games were important to Kyle so he picked those

and personally I loved the photo booth!

With adults and kids at the same party, how did you choose music that appealed to everyone?

Ramy: We invited a lot of families. We wanted a kids party and an adult party in one. There were 180 adults and 150 kids. School friends, camp friends, friends from his sport teams – it made for a really fun party! For the most part, the music was current pop hits and it kept everyone dancing.

What was the best part of the experience?Ramy: The best part was seeing my son so happy. It

is amazing how at 13 he learned to read from the Torah, understood his Torah portion and with great confidence spoke to everyone about how it related to him today. It brought us great pride to listen to him during the candle-lighting ceremony.

If you had to pinpoint one thing that made the party such a success, what would it be?

Ramy: The people. What made it so successful was the love in the room. We had all parts of our lives in one room – amazing family, friends from childhood, friends from college, friends from work, friends through our kids and fun city friends. We’re fortunate to have such great people in our lives. And, Kyle’s friends were all respectful and kind.

We have to ask – given your fashion expertise, did you design your own dress?!

Ramy: I had a vision of what I wanted to wear. I wanted it to be special but not over the top. I ended up finding the perfect dress at Saks. But, maybe for my middle son’s bar mitzvah, I will create something.

Did you color coordinate what the kids wore?Ramy: I didn’t, although both the boys ended up wearing

navy suits. My daughter was pretty particular about her dress but we ultimately found one. They all looked spectacular.

If you had to do it all again, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Ramy: I wouldn’t have changed a thing except maybe invite some more friends!

What is the best advice you can give to someone planning a bar or bat mitzvah?

Ramy: The best advice I can give is to enjoy the process. When I did the montage, I looked back over 13 years of photos and realized how fast time flies. It is a true gift to be able to celebrate a bar or bat mitzvah no matter how it is done.

“What made it so successful was the love in the room. We’re fortunate to have such great people in our lives.”


MichaelJurick.indd 1 3/22/12 4:10 PM


When Heather Fialkoff began planning her daughter Andie’s bat mitzvah, she knew she didn’t want to take out a second mortgage or spend every second on minute details. Fialkoff preferred focusing her time on her three kids, her photography hobby and training for marathons. “I am not the type of person to shop around,” she said. Lucky for Fialkoff she found Deb Wasser of Deb’s Family Disco who turned her vision into a reality in a virtual one-stop shopping experience.

How did you go about starting the bat mitzvah planning process?

Heather: I began by searching the internet looking for venues and Deb’s Family Disco popped up. Her website spoke to me. I called her and we met. I didn’t know anyone else who used her. I was totally going off the cuff with this one. The minute I met her, I knew it would be perfect because she understood exactly what I wanted.

What kind of party were you looking to have?Heather: I wanted a fun dancing party. Deb works with

several clubs. She took me to see a venue (the club Touch on West 52nd Street) and I thought it was great. What kid doesn’t want a nightclub? I wasn’t looking to spend a fortune and I didn’t want to waste my energy shopping around. I went there, I liked it and I was done. Honestly, I originally had an idea for a kid’s party but we ended up having both kids and adults but not a traditional sit down

How many kids and adults did you have?Heather: We had about 60 kids and about 85 adults. Everyone

danced and had a great time.

What food did you serve?Heather: We had everything! Sushi station, carving station,

salads, sliders, fries, miniature grilled cheese and tons of hors d’ oeuvres.

Andie FiAlkoFF’s BAt MitzvAHAt deB’s FAMily disco

vendors For Andie’s BAt MitzvAH

All entertainment and food: provided by Deb’s Family Disco,debsfamilydisco.com

venue: Touch, 240 West 52 Street,touchnewyorkcity.comPhotography: Craig Paulson,cpaulson.com

I n t e r v I e w w I t h m o m , h e a t h e r F I a l k o F F



Did you have to bring in other vendors for music, lighting, catering or anything else?

Heather: No. Deb did it all! I didn’t do a thing. The only thing I did – but Deb could have done it – was bring in a photographer because that’s my passion. Literally, Deb got everything, even the cake and the cake was amazing!

Tell us about the cake.Heather: Deb and my daughter Andie designed the cake

together. It was a rainbow tie-dye cake that everybody went wild for.

Did Andie have a lot of involvement in the process?Heather: Oh yes. Deb met with Andie a bunch of times.

They designed the cake together; they worked on picking the music, on choosing light-up stuff and all sorts of other things. I really liked that Deb never just said “yes”. She always checked with me and stayed within my budget.

Many people hire a party planner, did you ever feel like you needed one?

Heather: No, Deb was like the planner. I didn’t have to worry about anything. I have gone to so many other parties and sometimes you see kids just walk out to the street (during the event). Not with Deb; she had her own people for security and her people did everything. I never worried what was going on in the bathroom. I could just enjoy myself.

If you could give parents planning a bar or bat mitzvah one piece of advice, what would it be?

Heather: At the end of the day, no matter what you spend, the truth is you’re having more or less the same food, the same music, the same kids. To me, to spend a fortune . . . I don’t buy into that New York competition. My advice is to call Deb. She can do high end or low end. You can be very involved or less so like me. There’s a reason, I’m planning my next daughter’s with Deb now!

“What kid doesn’t want a night-club? I wasn’t looking to spend a fortune and I didn’t want to waste my energy shopping around. I went there, I liked it and I was done.”



By Robin Saks Frankel

In a city where the options of where to hold a party are limitless, fi nding the right location to host your child’s mitzvah celebration can be daunting. Sometimes it helps to narrow your choices: Do you want to party in a loft? A nightclub? How about

a sports venue? Whichever you choose, have we got a space for you!

We’ve selected a broad range of venues around town, from the upscale to the uncom-mon, to help you throw the kind of party you’re looking for. Schmooze under the stars, take in waterfront views of the city, or play the night away. Most of all, enjoy.

In New York City, What Else Would You Expect But A Lot Of Incredible?

FINDING THE RIGHT VENUE

Deb’s Family Disco at 344 West 49th Street

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LET’S EAT

Plein Sud Restaurant’s main dining room is great for smaller to mid-size affairs. The French brasserie-style main dining room can hold up to 90 people for a sit-down dinner and 150 for hors d’oeuvres. The restaurant is located in the Smyth Hotel which means one-stop shopping for out-of-town guests. Located at 85 West Broadway. Contact: Claudia Gismondi, 212-204-5561 or [email protected].

Opia Restaurant at 130 E 57th Street in Midtown has adjoining rooms which means you can host from 50 to 300 people for a sit-down dinner with dancing or just serve drinks and passed appetizers. Price per person varies depending on menu and number of guests. Contact: Jimena, 212-688-3939 or [email protected].

Guastavino’s window-fi lled building under the Queensboro bridge at 409 East 59th Street was named for the distinctive terra cotta tiles adorning its arches and vaults. The look is classic New York—these are the same tiles that are in the subway stations and Grand Central Terminal. Contact: 212-980-2711, guastavinos.com.

DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY

Kiss and Fly Club at 409 West 13th Street in the trendy Meatpacking District has a modern European club décor. With its raised bar, banquette seating and 500 person capacity, your teen will feel like a VIP. Contact: 212-255-1933, info@kissandfl yclub.com.

Tenjune occupies a former garage in the Meatpacking District. This subterranean lounge oozes urban cool with zebra-prints, a horseshoe shaped dance fl oor and a bar covered in leather. Located at 26 Little West 12th Street. Contact: 646-624-2410 or [email protected].

Arena at 135 West 41st Street in Bry-ant Park has New York’s largest pro-grammable L.E.D. lighting system and is home to some of Fashion Week’s swankiest affairs. Great for budding fashionistas to celebrate their mile-stone. Contact: Gina La Rochelle or Anthony Coppers, 212-278-0988 x103 or [email protected].

LOFTY IDEAS

The Glasshouses at 545 West 25th Street offer a blank canvas of win-dowed walls. Choose from a room with

11 foot or 14 foot ceilings; it’s $7,500 to rent either space, and both hold 150 people for a seated dinner or 200 for cocktail receptions. The rest of the details are yours to envision. Contact: Yumi Han, 212-242-7800 ext. 19 or [email protected].

Espace at 635 West 42nd is a clean, modern space just steps from Times Square that can hold up to 500 guests for a seated dinner. Teens will be thrilled to discover the wireless Internet access so they can post real-time updates of the evening. Contact: espaceny.com, 212-967-7003.

The Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers at Pier Sixty is a waterfront space that can accommodate from 100 to 800 guests. Floor to ceiling windows have sweeping views of the Hudson and the lights of New Jersey. An outdoor patio makes this a perfect spot for a warm weather cocktail hour. Contact: Meredith Barsky, 212-336-6144 or [email protected].

Liberty Warehouse, Pier 41, Red Hook, Brooklyn, is an open loft space featur-ing the only location in all of New York with a direct frontal view of the Statue of Liberty as she faces towards France. In addition to the dynamite views from the inside, there’s also a 3,000 square foot waterside patio outside. Contact: Jeffrey Torem, 347-987-3121 or [email protected].

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT

Long Island Aquarium and Exhibition Center at 431 East Main Street in River-head, NY, will take your guests on a pri-

The Glasshouses at 545 West 25th Street

Hard Rock Café at 1501 Broadway

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vate journey through the ruins of the Lost City of Atlantis. The adventure continues in your choice of aquatically-themed rooms. Kids and adults alike will marvel at the petting tanks and shark exhibits. Contact: Johanna Zucaro, 631-574-8008 ext. 277 or [email protected].

Hard Rock Café at 1501 Broadway is ideal for a party that really rocks. Every room in the venue is filled with music memorabilia and you can rent the café’s indoor/outdoor space overlooking Times Square. Contact: John Pasquale, 212-991-1287 or [email protected].

Deb’s Family Disco at 344 West 49th Street is a colorful space known for ca-tering to families. They offer full-ser-vice packages that include everything from invitations and photography to food, so you can focus on the important stuff like what to wear. Contact: 212-586-7425, familydisco.com.

New York Hall of Science at 47-01 111th Street, Queens, offers an out-of-this-world setting. Hold-ing your affair in their North Wing gives your guests an opportunity to explore outer space, dance with the stars and even check out the interactive exhibits. Contact: Jen-nifer Brunjes,718-699-0005 ext. 371 or [email protected].

Let the Games BeGin

USTA Tennis Center’s President’s Dining & Lounge overlooks Arthur Ashe Stadium, giving tennis fans the wow factor. Located in Flushing Meadow Park, the stadium is home to the U.S. Open and the largest outdoor tennis-only venue in the world. Up to 250 guests can be entertained with dinner and dancing. Prices start at $10,000 to rent the space. Contact: Jennifer Matthews,718-595-2420 or [email protected].

Yankee Stadium at East 161st Street and River Avenue, Bronx, is a dream come true for baseball aficionados. The Legends Suite Club extends from home plate down each baseline for unparalleled views of the ball field. Or try the Great Moments room which is adorned with images of historic plays in Yankees history. Contact: Sarah Barker, 646-977-8902 or [email protected].

Dave & Buster’s at 234 West 42nd Street, 3rd Floor. Everyone can let their inner child out at this 31,500 square foot gaming venue. D&B can hold par-ties for as few as 20 or as large as 500. Contact: 646-495-2011 or [email protected].

Lucky Strike Lanes at 624-660 West 42nd Street. They’ll have fun to spare at Lucky Strike Lanes. Hold your party in the main bowling area or you can rent the ultra-private Luxe room for fetes up to 200 people. Contact: Brandon, 818-933-3752 or [email protected].

Frames Bowling Lounge at 550 9th Avenue in Midtown has separate areas for kids to dance, adults to enjoy cock-tails and all ages can enjoy the lanes. The venue can hold up to 150 for a sit-down dinner and prices start at $50 -$100 per person. Contact: Elsie Gins-berg 212-268-6909 ext. 121 or [email protected].

Frames Bowling Lounge at 550 9th Avenue

New York Hall of Science at 47-01 111th Street, Queens

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Bowlmor Lanes Union Square/Green-wich Village Country Club at 110 University Place is the only indoor spot in New York where you can play mini golf, bocce ball, bowl, drink and hit the dance floor all in one night. Contact: Colie Edison, 212-777-2214 ext. 1112.

ChiC ChoiCes

The Liberty Theater at 234 West 41st Street in Times Square was origi-nally built in 1904 and for many years was home to some of New York’s finest theatrical productions before under-going a multi-million dollar renovation in 2007. It’s now a restaurant and event space that can accommodate parties of almost any scale. Contact: William Curran, 212-997-0001 or [email protected].

The Edison Ballroom, the former Times Square Supper Club, retains its art deco style in a space that can hold up to 300 people for a sit-down meal or up to 1,000 people for dancing and fun. Use their kitchen staff or bring in your own. Prices range from $100 to $180 per person. Contact: 212-201-7650 ext. 3 or [email protected]

Broad Street Ballroom at 40 Broad Street retains all the elegance from its original use as a banking hall. The 5700-square-foot ballroom is wrapped in a 220-foot mural chronicling the history of commerce by sea. Fea-tures include a state-of-the-art AV system perfect for showing a photo montage and seating for up to 300 guests. Contact: 646-624-2524 ext. 360 or [email protected].

Harmonie Club at 4 East 60th Street is the second oldest social club in New York City, dating back to 1852. Its posh Beaux Arts design outside and traditional wood paneling on the inside make this locale a classic choice. Con-tact: 212-355-7400 ext. 371.

Bryant Park Grill at 25 West 40th Street is situated behind the New York Public Library and overlooking Bry-ant Park with an attractive, modern interior. The space can hold up to 150 guests for an evening of dinner and dancing. Contact: Walter Rauscher, 212-206-8815 ext. 106 or [email protected].

Angel Orensanz Foundation at 172 Norfolk Street was built in 1849 and is the oldest surviving synagogue building in New York. They don’t build them like this anymore—the interior was designed to resemble Paris’ Ca-thedral of Notre-Dame and the sanc-

tuary was designed to resemble the Sistine Chapel. It can hold up to 260 for a sit-down dinner with a dance floor. The price ranges from $14,800 – $20,800, catering not included. Contact: Maria Neri, 212-529-7194, [email protected]

Stage 6, Steiner Studios at the Brook-lyn Navy Yard, 15 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn, is located in a major movie production studio. The modern ball-room has walls of paned glass offer-ing dramatic views of lower Manhat-tan, the Brooklyn and Williamsburg Bridges and the Empire State Build-ing. The venue can hold from 150 up to 600 people for dinner and dancing. All catering must be done through Abigail Kirsch Productions with prices ranging from $150 to $250 per per-son. Contact: 718-237-1919, steinerstudios.com.

Good deal

DOROT, Inc., at 171 West 85th Street, offers the “Susan Resnick Fisher Auditorium”, a beautifully renovated party space that holds up to 60 people and is available on evenings, weekends and some holidays. Add a DJ, some pizza and you are all set. Perfect for a kids-only dance party. The room rental charge is a bargain at $175 an hour. Contact: Judith Logan at 917-441-3753 or [email protected].

Mitzvah Magazine would like to thank Amy Katz Events, Mario Stewart Events, Heidi Green Photography and Shirley Serure Photography for helping us to identify some of this year’s most popular venues.

Yankee Stadium at East 161st Street and River Avenue, Bronx

Bowlmor Lanes Union Square/Greenwich Village Country Club at 110 University Place

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Unique JNF invitations let you plant a tree or make a contribution toward JNF’s water development projects in Israel in honor of each guest. What a perfect way to enhance your special occasion with a mitzvah, support Israel and celebrate your special day at the same time! A portion of your purchase is tax-deductible.

“Our family and friends were delighted that trees were planted in Israel in their honor through JNF…”

— Janice & Evan Kohn, parents of bar mitzvah boy, David, Chicago, IL

More Than an InvITaTIon. a MITzvah.

For more information visit JNF.org/invitations or call 1-800-542-8733.

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B y M e l i s s a s t o l l e r

The big day is finally here. You’ve kvelled throughout the Torah por-tion, Haftarah, D’var Torah speech,

Hora, candle-lighting ceremony and picture montage. All of your child’s study-ing and your hours of planning resulted in proud relatives and happy friends. But what comes next?

Hopefully, your child has been making some special connections to the Jewish re-ligion and his or her Jewish community. As a parent, there is now a lot you can do to help your child understand that this time in their life is only the beginning of the path to becoming a connected Jewish adult. You can facilitate this continuing connection by getting your family more involved in the synagogue, as well as with informal Jewish education, encouraging Jewish learning and engagement in everyday life, and by keeping traditions alive.

Involvement In Synagogue Life And Informal Jewish Education

According to the Union for Reform Judaism (URJ), “if current trends continue in our congregations, approximately 80% of the children who become [b’nai] mitzvah

will have no connection of any kind to their Jewish community by the time they reach 12th grade.” To counter that, synagogues, religious institutions and parents can partner to keep teens engaged and enthusiastic about participating in Jewish life.

Rabbi Jonathan Stein, Senior Rabbi at Temple Shaaray Tefila in New York City (my synagogue), and President of the Central Conference of American Rabbis, re-cently spoke at the URJ Biennial about the issues that face the Reform Movement. He asserted that leaders need to re-define what constitutes successful teen involvement.

When discussing this issue with me, Rab-bi Stein stated that “the measure of success for post-b’nai mitzvah has to change from con-firmation to connection.” In our synagogue, Rabbi Stein plans some bold moves: he will propose that confirmation occur in the 12th grade when students are going off to college and finishing their first “Chai” (their first 18 years). He suggests that the usual connection of confirmation, teaching assistant programs and youth group should be broadened to in-clude other activities like social action, music, drama, worship, camping, sports, technology and Israel. The goal is to capture the students through their own interests with an individual-ized education plan.

How To Help Your Child Stay Connected

Parents can model behavior that dem-onstrates Jewish values and encourages connection. Staying involved in synagogue worship and synagogue life in general can help post-b’nai mitzvah students maintain their connection to Judaism.

• Join synagogue committees and participate in activities and community service programs. Make a point of going to the services for special festivals. Invite grandparents and other relatives to worship with you and your family to make it a family affair. Enjoy the Oneg Shabbat af-terward to be part of the larger synagogue community.

• Encourage your children to study for confirmation at your synagogue. If pos-sible, talk to the parents of your children’s friends; a group continuing together definitely has a stronger chance of staying involved.

• Informal Jewish education, such as temple youth group, teen choirs, teaching assistant programs, NFTY trips to Israel and other activities are excellent ways for students to stay involved and have exciting, engaging experiences at the same time.

It’s Only Just Begun A Bar/Bat Mitzvah Can Be A Momentous Kick-Off To A Lifelong

Commitment To Judaism. Here’s What A Parent Can Do To Lead The Way.

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Temple Youth Group students at the 2011 Celebrate Israel Parade.

KEEPINGJEWISHCONNECTIONS_MITZ_0412.indd 33 3/26/12 11:34 AM


Jewish Learning And Engagement In Every Day Life

Jewish learning and the ability to con-nect to the Jewish community shouldn’t end when you exit the synagogue doors. Here are some ideas for bringing Judaism into your everyday life.

• Jewish-themed travel: Whenever we travel, we try to visit a Jewish-themed cultural site, such as a synagogue, Jewish museum or historical building. As a family, we have visited Jewish sights in Washing-ton, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, Newport, London, Rome, Paris, Barcelona and many other destinations. Interestingly, after four days of touring Iceland, which did not have any Jewish sites, our girls asked, “Where are the temples and Jewish museums?” We were happy to hear that visiting Jewish-themed places was on their radar.

Of course, a family trip to Israel will help build solid memories and connections to your children’s heritage. When we took an intergenera-tional trip to Israel after my oldest daughter’s bat mitzvah, we all experienced an immediate and very emotional connection to the land. We also felt that is was im-portant to return so that we could all re-connect and strengthen our commitment to Israel and our Jewish heritage.

Spending time on a teen program in Israel is very significant in creating and strength-ening Jewish bonds. Likewise, there are many organizations that offer volunteer, travel, study, and gap year programs in Israel including NFTY in Israel Programs (nftyisrael.org), the March of the Living In-ternational Program to highlight the lessons of the Holocaust (motl.org), and the Taglit Birthright Tours to Israel (birthrightisrael.com). Many synagogues also organize Civil Rights Journeys to experience the intersec-tion of Jews and the Civil Rights era. Visit jnf.org for lists of organizations that offer teen opportunities.

Jewish camping is another way to of-fer an experience that could change your child’s life. Campers can attend day camps at the 92Y (92Y.org), and the Jewish Com-munity Center (JCC) (jccmanhattan.org). Well-respected Jewish sleepaway camps

include Eisner, Crane Lake and Camp Coleman. I experienced Jewish camping at Camp Lewis Village, now known as Camp Poyntelle Lewis Village. I fondly remember Jewish camp songs and traditions such as the Maccabiah color war games.

• Discuss current events with a Jewish emphasis: Start a Jewish-themed current events club. Subscribe to Jewish Week and choose an age-appropriate article to discuss each week; for extra connection, discuss over dinner or brunch at a local Jewish restaurant or deli. Join Hadassah, the women’s Zionist Organization of America and discuss articles from their magazine with your family.

• Jewish-themed family meeting: I recently heard a lecture by Julie Ross, the Executive Director of Parenting Horizons, about initiating a family meeting time to set the tone for harmonious family life. I thought that was a good idea, and decided to frame it as a family meeting with a

Jewish theme. Our family now will hold regular meetings to discuss how we as a family can cel-ebrate our Jewish heritage.

• Create friendships and activities outside of synagogue: Invite friends for Shabbat dinner and discuss why Shabbat is mean-ingful in your lives. Start a Jew-ish food club. Try Jewish restaurants in your neighbor-

hood. Start a Jewish-themed movie club, and discuss how the movies portray Jewish life and culture. Research Jewish artists and view their works in museums and galleries, or online. Visit the Jewish Museum, the Tenement Museum, Ellis Island, or other New York Jewish cultural sites with friends.

• Jewish-themed parent-child book club: A book club is always a meaning-ful way to share values, discuss Jewish themes and choices, and solidify con-nection to the Jewish community. Share the experience with another family with similarly-situated children. In your Jewish-themed book club, talk about how teens are portrayed in Jewish stories and about the choices the characters made. If the novel is based on a historical event, share your perspective and do some research together to amplify the topic.

• Family-style mitzvah projects: Volunteering together should not end just because the mitzvah project for the bar/bat mitzvah is concluded. Sit down with your family to research and then vote on a Jew-ish charity to support. Volunteer together on a Mitzvah Day with members of the synagogue. Create your own mitzvah proj-ect that you can work on as a family. Join forces with other families so all the teens can work together to accomplish a larger community-oriented goal.

• Maintaining Jewish traditions: “Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years . . . Because of our traditions, everyone knows who he is and what God expects him to do.” —Tevye, from “Fiddler on the Roof.”

These iconic lyrics from “Fiddler on the Roof” still resonate because, in many ways, tradition binds us to previous

“The measure of success for post-b’nai mitzvah has to change from confirmation to connection. We need

to open more avenues of connection,” says

Rabbi Jonathan Stein of Temple Shaaray Tefila

in New York City.

The Jewish Connection: Books And Online Resources » Thewholemegillah.wordpress.

com: This blog calls itself, “The Writer’s Resource for Jewish-themed children’s books.”

» For Jewish recipes online, visit jewishrecipes.org.

» The New York Times Jewish Cookbook: More than 825 Traditional & Contemporary Recipes from Around the World (St. Martins)

» A Travel Guide to Jewish Europe by Ben G. Frank (Pelican Publishing Company)

» The Mitzvah Project Book: Making Mitzvah Part of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah...and Your Life by Liz Suneby & Diane Heiman (Jewish Lights Publishing)

» A Short History of the Jews by Michael Brenner (Princeton University Press)

» When Children Ask About God: A Guide for Parents Who Don’t Always Have All the Answers by Harold S. Kushner (Schocken Books)



generations, and links us to future generations. When you offer traditions to children, they will have a comfortable lifeline to hold onto throughout their lives. When they go off to college, we as parents want to be able to say that we provided the traditions that our children can reflect on and build upon to create bridges to their own adult family lives.

Traditions can include Shabbat dinners at home, celebrating Jewish holidays with family and friends and observing the holiday traditions, planting trees in Israel through the Jewish National Fund (JNF) to commemorate holidays or special family celebrations, collecting tzedakah in your home and making donations in honor of a simcha, interviewing elderly relatives about their Jewish experi-ences and the traditions they carried with them throughout their lives, and any other meaningful moments where you bond over a Jewish ritual. It is important to be intentional about how you live a Jewish life.

Food has always been a big part of Jewish celebrations and tra-ditions. In fact, the mere mention of a particular holiday can conjure up the taste of chicken soup, brisket, latkes, kugel or other family favorites. Cooking Jewish foods with grandparents or parents can be a bonding experience, and is a tradition that you can turn into a family project. Set up cooking sessions with grandparents or other relatives to learn how to cook traditional Jewish foods.

The strong feelings of connection your family made during the bar/bat mitzvah process should not end when the celebration is over. By becoming more active in synagogue life and informal Jewish education, as well as engaging your family in enjoyable Jewish-themed activities and traditions throughout your daily life, you can help your children maintain strong connections to Jewish values, ideals, rituals and community. As Hope Chernak, Director of Youth and Informal Education at Temple Shaaray Tefila notes, it is crucial for parents to “re-think b’nai mitzvah as the end or pivotal moment in their child’s life and instead to try to make it only just the beginning of their child’s and their family’s lifelong journey as committed and active Jews.” As Jews, we are carrying on traditions and connections formed over thousands of years. As Jewish parents, we are obligated to instill in our children the foundation for passing these traditions and connections on to future generations.

Melissa stoller is the co-author (with Marcy winkler) of the Parent-child Book cluB: connecting with your kids through reading (horizonline PuBlishing), which you can read More aBout at ParentchildBookcluB.coM, and the author of nuMerous articles aBout faMily life.

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Three generations (the author, Connie Berger, Zoe Stoller) at a Temple Youth Group installation dinner.

Jewish National Fund

INVITATIONS

For more information or to place an order call Roz at 1-800-700-1312.

Looking for a unique invitation? We offer customized JNF invitations for your special occasion. Each one represents a donation towards planting a tree or to water resource development in Israel in honor of your guests. Purchase more than 100 invitations and re-ceive our special gift, a beautiful wood framed Garden Certificate, representing a garden of trees planted by JNF in honor of your special occasion. A portion of your purchase is tax-deductible.

www.jnf.org/invitations1-800-700-1312


EMRG Media1501 BroadwayNew York, NY 10036212-343-3355 x-1289www.hardrock.com

EVENT PLANNERS

Your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Make it a celebration for all time with

EMRG Media is New York’s leading full service event planning firm with a division dedicated to Bar and Bat Mitzvah planning. Our attention to detail, hands on approach and individualized event devel-opment separates us from the rest. EMRG Media has consistently received accolades and extensive press recognition from USA Today, The New York Times, CNN, NBC, and numerous spots on MTV.

If you’re planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, EMRG Media can assist you in all aspects. EMRG Media brings the very best venues, decor, music and enter-tainment to all of their clients. EMRG Media guaran-tees that your child’s event will be one to remember.

EMRG Media works with over 100 top venues & services including: Top Event Spaces, Hotels, Night clubs, Restaurants, Lofts, Entertainment Compa-nies, Florists and more.

If you are planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in New York City or any other occasion, contact us at [email protected] or call us at 212-254-3700Let us handle the details – so you can relax and celebrate!

60 Sutton Place South, Suite 8LSNew York, NY 10022212-254-3700www.EmrgMedia.com/Mitzvah

LestersRETAIL

For over six decades, Lester’s has been a go-to desti-nation for the latest trends and must have fashions for the entire family from everyday casual to special occa-sion. Whether a guest or the guest-of honor, Lester’s has the perfect clothing, shoes and accessories for cel-ebrating a Bat or Bar Mitzvah in style. You’ll always find the brands your kids want and love. For girls, there is a great selection of understated styles perfect for a temple service as well as party-worthy dresses and separates in statement-making colors, sequins and shine from Holly World, CW Designs, Naven, Jessica McClintock and ABS. And, at Lester’s, you’ll find a large selection of shoes and accessories to complement every style.

If you’re looking for great special occasion clothes for boys, look no further. Lester’s has it all in their expand-ed size 8-20 boys department with a great selection of suits, blazers, pants, and dress shirts from designers such as Cut By Two Blondes, Joseph Abboud, Thomas Dean, Robert Graham and Ragazzo. You’ll find the per-fect outfit your son will want to wear, paired with great shoes from Lester’s shoe department.

With stores located in Manhattan (212-734-9292), Brooklyn, Rye, Greenvale and Huntington, Long Island, New Yorkers have always turned to Lester’s for the lat-est styles and superior service. Now, with the launch of Lesters.com, you can shop on-line, check out style blogs and videos detailing the trends for the moment and how to wear them, and chat live with experienced sales team members.

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Bowlmor Lanes unique, fun, and exciting venues are perfect for any Bar/Bat Mitzvah. With multiple loca-tions in New York City, each with award-winning style and service, the possibilities are endless. Winner of BizBash’s Best New Venue Award, Bowlmor Lanes Midtown in the heart of Times Square boasts 50 lanes of luxury bowling divided into 7 private, NYC themed lounges. The 90,000 sq. ft. enter-tainment palace is also the new home of Carnival, a chic nightclub complete with an oversized dance floor and retro boardwalk games. Each space within the venue can be rented separately or combined to suit your individual party needs.

The Union Square location, a NYC legend since 1938, features 42 lanes of glow-in-the-dark bowling on two floors, a private VIP party room, and the newly launched Greenwich Village Country Club. Voted the Most Anticipated New Venue of 2011, the GVCC is New York’s only indoor mini golf, with 3 private party spaces including an exclusive nightclub room with DJ and dance floor.All Bowlmor properties feature completely customizable catering menus by Celebrity Chef David Burke with extensive food and beverage options. Bowlmor’s experienced event coordinators guide you through every step of the Mitzvah planning process- they do all the work, and you take all the credit. From bowling, to mini golf, to boardwalk games and everything in between, there is so much to see and do at a Bowlmor Lanes Bar/Bat Mitzvah!

For more information visit Bowlmor.com or email [email protected]

VENUES

110 University Place (btw 12th and 13th St)New York, NY 10003212-255-8188

Bowlmor Lanes Union Square/Greenwich Village Country Club

Bowlmor Lanes Midtown/Carnival

222 West 44th St (btw 7th and 8th Ave)New York, NY 10036212-680-0012

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Chelsea PiersVENUES

If you’re looking for a unique, riverside location for your son’s or daughter’s special celebration, look no further than Sunset Terrace at Chelsea Piers, a 3,400 square-foot reception space with panoramic views of the Hudson River. The stunning skyline becomes the backdrop for unforgettable Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations accommodating up to 150 guests for dinner and dancing.

Enjoy fine food and service from our preferred ca-terers, including Kosher and Glatt Kosher options. Our caterers work with you to customize a menu to suit the tastes of all your guests. After a delicious meal, your guests can dance the night away as the sunsets over the Hudson River.

Looking for more action and adventure for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah? The Field House at Chel-sea Piers is the ideal location for an active, sports-filled party, featuring activities such as rock climb-ing, basketball, batting cages, soccer, and much more. Our state-of-the-art sports facility provides the canvas for your child’s favorite sports activities, all in one location. Certified sports facilitators en-sure that your child’s friends and guests are en-gaged throughout the party in a safe environment.

With riverside reception spaces and a variety of activity options, Chelsea Piers is versatile enough to accommodate all of your event needs. Our ex-perienced event managers will create a unique and memorable party that allows you to enjoy the event alongside your guests, while we take care of the details. We invite you to explore our venue and learn why it is one of the most popular venues for Bar & Bat Mitzvah celebrations in New York City.

Special Events at Chelsea Piers23rd St. & Hudson River ParkPier 61212-336-6777www.chelseapiers.com/mitzvah

Family Disco has been the Chosen One over and over again for their “best” par-ties (New York Magazine’s “BEST OF” four years running). Club, catering and enter-tainment—we’re one-stop shopping! Trav-eling to your hall or entertaining at our ven-ue—a magnificent discotheque that can host hundreds handsomely, or be curtained off so that smaller fetes find their perfect fit. Gourmet catering with creative choices (like our crepe chef who flips crepes fresh before your eyes, or the wok wiz who mes-merizes with his fast flying knives). Deejay, emcees and dancers that hit real cool right, never schmaltzy, never phony.

Family Disco offers top-quality in a range of services—personalized invitations, cus-tomized party favors, theatrical set design, specialty lighting effects, photography, vid-eography and your own party web page creation. But what we really do better than anyone else is get people up and dancing and having a good time. That’s our ‘art’ and the single most impor-tant factor ensuring your party’s success. Family-owned busi-ness guarantees you personal attention by owner.

Deb’s Family Disco At Club Arena, 135 W. 41st.(off Bryant Park)Midtown Manhattan 212-586-7425,or traveling entertainment at your venue www.familydisco.com

VENUES

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Modern and luxurious, Frames, located on the corner of 9th Avenue and 40th Street, features a bowling lounge, private party lounges, a full-service premium restaurant & bar, inter-active media games, and one of the best dance lounges in the city that will keep you going long after bowling and dinner!

Modern leather seating, flat-screen TV’s, and a state-of-the-art sound system, it’s a perfect spot for corporate events and private parties.

The Frames concept is simple: we provide a full-scale en-tertainment experience, with premium services, all at a great value.

Bowl – Dine – Dance at your next event!

VENUES

Frames Bowling Lounge550 9th Ave, 2nd FloorNew York, NY [email protected]

The Edison Ballroom has a long and colorful history. Locat-ed in the heart of Times Square, it was originally opened in the 30’s as the grand ballroom for the Hotel Edison. It was constructed in a classic “art deco” design, and offered din-ing and dancing to its patrons, while featuring many famous bands and singers from the “Swing Era.” A generation later, the Edison Ballroom was converted to the Edison Theater, where various Broadway theatrical productions were of-fered. In 1991 the Edison Theater gave way to “The Sup-per Club”, which offered its patrons dinner and dancing to the music of various “big-band” style orchestras, and which hosted various private, corporate and charitable events. The Supper Club hosted its final event in May, 2007.

In May, 2008, following more than $5 Million in renovations, the venue was reopened by its new management and was renamed “Edison Ballroom” to conjure up some of the for-mer glory of this venue.

With its exquisite art deco style, blended with a touch of modern design, this 17,000 square foot venue is perfect for hosting a wide array of private functions, including wed-dings, bar and bat mitzvahs, charity events, and corporate parties. It has an extra large dance floor, a 40-foot stage, it contains two separate kitchens, and is equipped with the most modern lighting and audio/visual features in the in-dustry, including an 18 foot screen, and 14 high-definition plasma monitors.

Edison Ballroom easily seats 500 guests, and can host up to 1,000 attendees for standing receptions. Its mezzanine level is perfect for hosting cocktail receptions prior to seat-ing guests for dinner on the main floor.The venue also includes a VIP lounge, perfect for entertain-ing bridal parties, dignitaries, or for use as a photo shoot area during or after your special event. This elegant, gracious space, in an ideal location is the per-fect setting for your private function. The Edison Ballroom’s team of professionals will work with you to make your affair a truly memorable occasion. For reservations or informa-tion call (212) 201-7650 or email [email protected].

240 West 47th StreetNew York, NY 10036212-201-7650www.edisonballroom.com

The EDISON BALLROOM

VENUES

The Glasshouses

VENUES

The Glasshouses with its spectacular views of the waterfront and the city will make your event even more special! The Glasshouses boasts of its modern clean build out of floor to ceiling windows, beautiful Terrazo floors, and built in lighting. Call and schedule a visit today.

Contact: Perry Brocco 212-242-7800 ext. 11 Email: [email protected]: www.theglasshouses.com

545 W 25th Street, 21st floorNew York, NY

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Hard Rock Cafe Times Square1501 BroadwayNew York, NY 10036212-343-3355 x-1289www.hardrock.com

Events That Rock!Sophistication infused with funk, the Hard Rock Cafe Times Square offers stellar service and modern el-egance. Come experience the cuisine, music and distinctive design. Day or night there is something to fit every mood and satisfy every impulse. Whether it is an intimate gathering of 20 or a full venue buyout of 1,200 guests...let’s make it an event everyone will be talking about. Events, like great music, are borne of inspiration. Our new banquet chef has over 15 years experi-ence, has catered backstage affairs for the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and Bon Jovi and has delight-ed the guests of some of the biggest Fortune 500 companies with his imaginative event menus, both traditional and kosher style. We serve it up with a dramatic flair, only reserved for rock royalty. Love All. Serve All. That’s the mantra of Hard Rock and its team. Con-sumed with treating guests like rock stars, the ul-timate VIPs, Hard Rock has an entourage of staff determined to spoil them rotten. From the moment your guests arrive to the second the last limousine leaves, our staff will be on hand to anticipate and fill every need.

VENUES

The Liberty Theater is located in the heart of New York City, the newly renovated and vigorous Times Square Dis-trict, brings old world style, sophistication and history to this New York’s most famous and popular neighborhood. Unlike any other venue, The Liberty Theater is quite sim-ply breathtaking.

Constructed in 1904, it was home to some of the world’s greatest shows until 1933. In 2007 The Benmoha family acquired this piece of New York’s history with a commit-ment to bring the theater back to its former glory. A century later and a multi million dollar renovation by Ray Trosa and Sir Decor Designs, The Liberty Theater shines again under the direction of the newly formed Times Square Hospitality Group. Now the venue features dramatic ca-thedral ceilings, the original theater boxes and moldings, sweeping balconies and a giant stage that hosts a large bar-lounge with a view of the entire venue. It includes a restaurant and spectacular event space ideal for events, fashion shows, film, television or any event that requires a unique and memorable venue.

This multifaceted events space is also known for world class cuisine by executive Chef Victor LaPlaca, formally Todd English’s chef de cuisine for 15 years and the driving force behind Olives. With Victor’s unique and individual approach to each event, The Liberty Theater can cater and host bar and bat mitzvahs, charity events, corporate parties, dinners, shows and many more. A large kitchen can accommodate kosher and non-kosher needs. A state of the art light and sound system is also available. Liberty Theater easily seats 500 guests, and can host up to 1,500 attendees for standing receptions. Its mezzanine level is perfect for hosting cocktail receptions prior to seat-ing guests for dinner on the main floor.

Fore more information contact : William Curran, Event [email protected] 553 9840212-997-0001www.thelibertytheaternyc.com

The Liberty Theater234 West 41th StreetNew York, NY 10036

VENUES

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Lucky Strike New York is a full service entertain-ment and bowling lounge featuring 26 state of the art lanes, 11 billiard tables and the exclusive LuXe lounge. Lucky Strike is conveniently located in Hells Kitchen on 42nd and 12th Avenue. The energetic and stylish offerings of Lucky Strike are unparalleled creating a unique space popu-lar with celebrities such as Robert DeNiro, John Mayer and the New York Yankees CC Sabathia.

Lucky Strike offers upscale party spaces, sophis-ticated menus, full-service bars, and cutting edge a/v systems. Our party packages offer food, bev-erage and entertainment options to accommo-date any party.

Lucky Strike can make any Bar or Bat Mitzvah seamlessness from start to finish! From the mo-ment you speak with one of our professional event planners to the end of your event you will receive unparalleled service. When you cele-brate your special occasion at our entertainment venue, Lucky Strike New York, your child will be the star and your guests will be wowed. Your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah is important and should be planned with explicit attention and details. Our energetic ambiance and exclusive space will make your Bar or Bat Mitzvah an unforgettable celebration. We will plan and execute your Bar or Bat Mitzvah the way you’ve always wanted.

624-660 West 42nd St. (at 12th Ave.) New York, NY646-829-0170 or visit us at bowlluckystrike.com.

Lucky Strike New York

VENUES

The New York Hall of Science transforms ordinary events into extraordinary experiences. Your guests will sip cocktails while exploring outer space and have dinner in the award-winning North Wing surrounded by more than 450 interactive exhibits. NYSCI’s three-level museum provides the perfect setting for any event that will leave a lasting impression on your guests.

Contact: Jennifer Brunjes at 718-699-0005 ext.371 [email protected]

VENUES

47- 01 111th StreetQueens, NYwww.nysci.org

New York Hall of Science

This year, Yankee Stadium will open its doors for its fourth season and has already been home to over 700 private events—your bar/bat mitzvah could be next! The diverse se-lection of unique event locations include the newly renovated Delta SKY360˚ Suite located directly behind home plate and the Legends Suite Club complete with a built-in dance floor. State-of-the-art technology includes 1,100 Sony HD televi-sions and a 6,000 sq. ft. centerfield video board, all of which are available to run your montage and personalize your event. Additional enhancements are available such as taking your guests on a guided tour of the stadium and providing personalized jerseys to commemorate your big day. Don’t miss the opportunity to make our history a part of yours.

One East 161st Street, Bronx, NY 10451www.yankees.com/[email protected]

VENUES

Yankee Stadium

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the last word

The BesT Bar MiTzvah inviTaTion ever

It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue and

incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,

that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son

Jacob Adam

is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah

Saturday, May 12th – (yes we realize it’s Mother’s Day Weekend)

Temple Israel • 14 Coleytown Road • W

estport, CT 06880

at the ungodly hour of 9 AM

Even though you don’t really need to be there until 10:20AM to catch the real action

If you make it through the 3 hour service,

please skip the kiddush (it’s just cookies and cake)

and join us instead for the ostentatious evening meal,

which starts at 7 PM, (not 8 PM or you will miss out on the 2000 canapés)

Birchwood Country Club • 25 Kings Hwy S • Westport , CT 06880

(Which we had to join just for this event and you would

not believe the initiation fees)

Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not the day before the

cut-off date. I can’t take the stress.

Dress: Black Tie optional

Theme: 007 James Bond

Kippot and Matching Eye Patch will be provided

JacobAdam

LASTPAGE_MITZ0412.indd 42 3/26/12 12:49 PM

Everything old is new again, The Liberty Theater an event space located in the theater district run by theTimes Square Hospitality Group. The renovated facility, which was built in 1904, still features some of the original

architectural details as well as new components, in house catering with fully equipped state of the art sound and lighting.The Liberty Theater has 25,000 square feet of space and holds 1,500 people for receptions or 600 for seated functions.

234 West 41st St., New York, NY 10036

contact:William Curran • [email protected] • t: 212.997.0009 • d: 917.553.9840

Opened November 2011

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EMRG Media

EMRG Media works with New York's Top Event Spaces & Unique Venues.We'll take care of all the details.

Visit us at www.emrgmedia.com/mitzvah or call us at 212.254.3700 EMRG MEDIA WILL ASSIST YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY

NEW YORK CITY’S LEADING EVENT PLANNING COMPANY

www.emrgmedia.com/mitzvah

Are you planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah?

Just wanted to take a moment to thank you, and your entire sta� for such a wonderful event. It far exceeded our expectations. From your calm demeanor to your attention to detail you are a real pro. You

were able to �nd the perfect venue, understand the level of service that we were looking for, and put a very creative twist on the whole event!!! We could not have been happier with you and EMRG!!!

- Karen S. -

Want to give you the information we talked about regarding Sophie's Bat Mitzvah. I called Erica my Bat Mitzvah Angel. She will help you in whatever role you need her.

- Staci W. -

Untitled-14 1 3/5/12 1:45 PM

file:///Users/KathrynFortuno/Desktop/april16/mitzvah-no%20cropmarks/shalom.txt[4/16/12 3:14:21 PM]

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Welcome to <strong>Mitzvahmag.com</strong>, the online resource for parents in the New York City, and the greater metropolitan area, who are navigating the Bar and Bat Mitzvah experience. Our mission is two-fold: to honor the importance of the spiritual passage while also providing savvy and sensible party planning advice and perspective.</span><div><object style="width: 600px; height: 404px;"><param name="movie" value="http://static.issuu.com/webembed/viewers/style1/v1/IssuuViewer.swf?mode=embed&layout=http%3A%2F%2Fskin.issuu.com%2Fv%2Fcolor%2Flayout.xml&backgroundColor=FFFFFF&showFlipBtn=true&autoFlip=true&autoFlipTime=6000&documentId=110511205140-4c66e63f971d448ebb2806c4b9f7c8e6&docName=spring2011&username=mitzvahmag&loadingInfoText=Mitzvah%20Spring%202011&et=1305147276658&er=3" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><embed style="width: 600px; height: 404px;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://static.issuu.com/webembed/viewers/style1/v1/IssuuViewer.swf" allowfullscreen="true" menu="false" flashvars="mode=embed&layout=http%3A%2F%2Fskin.issuu.com%2Fv%2Fcolor%2Flayout.xml&backgroundColor=FFFFFF&showFlipBtn=true&autoFlip=true&autoFlipTime=6000&documentId=110511205140-4c66e63f971d448ebb2806c4b9f7c8e6&docName=spring2011&username=mitzvahmag&loadingInfoText=Mitzvah%20Spring%202011&et=1305147276658&er=3"></embed></object></div>

mitzvah spring 2012

Documents

mitzvah magazine

am6 mitzvah spring

am10 mitzvah spring

am4 mitzvah spring

barbat mitzvah celebration

great mitzvah project

best bar mitzvah invite

york family