funnies extra sample edition

Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email [email protected] or call 557-3261 FREE!

FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | SAMPLE EDITION 2012

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2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | SAMPLE EDITION 2012

BIZ by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK by MARK PARISI CAPTION CONTEST

Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Jody, 44, of Hope, who submitted the fol-lowing caption to last issue’s contest: “What do you mean, ‘We can’t

use consumer fi reworks for hunting?’”. Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: [email protected] and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name,

age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.

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Chris & Heather [email protected] | [email protected]

www.funnies-extra-maine.com91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921(Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261

Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulationOffice Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time

FUNNIES EXTRA!, LLC6822 22nd Avenue North, #134, St. Petersburg, FL 33710

www.funnies-extra.com ~ [email protected] Kellogg - Editor

[email protected]

Bill Kellogg - Marketing [email protected] ~ 907–441-6882

Richard Cross - [email protected] ~ 727-343-1243

© 2012 Funnies Extra!, LLC. All rights reserved.

The views and opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher, advertisers or employees of NachoTree Print & Digital Design. NachoTree Print & Digital Design is not responsible for any advertising errors beyond the first printing of any Display Ad. Additional contributor informa-tion can be found on the website URL’s above. Contents of this publication may not be reproduced or copied without permission from Funnies Extra, LLC.

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SAMPLE EDITION 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3

BC by MASTROIANNI AND HART

TUNDRA by CHAD CARPENTER

EEK! by SCOTT NICKEL

HOOSIERVILLE by MARK BRAYER

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• The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. • A car that shifts manually gets 2 miles more per gallon of gas

than a car with automatic shift.

FACT OR FICTION?

3.15” x 5.00”$69/iss 12 issues

$74/iss 8 issues $78/iss 4 issues $92/iss 1 issue

IMAGINE THAT by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS by TIM THOMSON HARA KIWI by LECTRR


© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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Answers from last issue’s Sudoku

5.00” x 6.50” $143/iss 12 issues $152/iss 8 issues $162/iss 4 issues $190/iss 1 issue

THE DOOZIES by TOM GAMMILL

FRANK AND STEINWAY by WIL PANGANIBAN

FUNNY PAPER by DANIEL COLLINS

AGAINST THE GRAIN by RON THERIEN


© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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• The Liberace Museum has a mirror-plated Rolls Royce, jewel-encrusted capes, and the largest

rhinestone in the world, weighing 59 pounds and measuring almost a foot in diameter.

FACT OR FICTION?

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©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

WORD FIND ActivitiesBY MIA VONNE

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CRANKY GIRL by CRYSTAL JONES

SQUID ROW by BRIDGETT SPICER


FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE,KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE

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FACEBOOK: /NachoTreeTWITTER: /NachoTreeDesign

© 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

FUTURE SHOCK by JIM & PAT McGREAL

THAT MONKEY TUNE by MICHAEL KANDALAFT

DINGERS by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH




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WIZARD OF ID by PARKER & MASTROIANNI & HART

HOLY MOLÉ by RICK HOTTON

DOGS OF C-KENNEL by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI

HALF BAKED by RICK ELLISDistributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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4.25” x $213/iss $227/iss $241/iss $284/iss


THE OTHER COAST by ADRIAN RAESIDE

RALF THE DESTROYER by SCOTT LINCOLN

SUNSHINE STATE by GRAHAM NOLAN

PICKLES by BRIAN CRANE

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x 11.00”s 12 issuess 8 issuess 4 issuess 1 issue


Have you ever looked around at the in-side walls of a cubicle and asked yourself, “Is this what I was meant for? Is this my purpose? What is that stain?”

Have you wondered if life caught you by the legs while you were running off to somewhere fun, placed you inside a box and covered you with a lid poked with just enough ventilation to keep you alive, like a young boy might do with a frog?

Me, too.And that’s not to suggest that we do

what we do because we assume it’s our highest purpose. For sure, it may be a means to an end - a satisfactory method of generating enough income to support our lavish purchases of Premium Saltines and Extra Fancy Ketchup.

Alas, maybe you have chosen your en-vironment and are comfortable with the demands put on your life. It is my con-tention, however, that a good many of us ended up where we are and are only there because of fear of failure and lack of plan-ning.

Now, that’s not to say that fear is a neg-ative force in and of itself. Fear keeps us from such activities as driving into tele-phone poles, eating meat that’s been in the refrigerator too long and perhaps driving into telephone poles while eating meat that’s been in the refrigerator too long.

I call such a phenomenon justifi ed fear.However, many of us simply fear too

much. We are afraid that if we pursue

something that is counter-cultural, con-troversial or risky, we will alienate our-selves. Others will observe us, remark crit-ically, and ostracize us for being diff erent.

We fear that if we do something com-pletely diff erent from the norm, we will not be able to look around and have a template we can follow. We will be blazing our own trail, with no hope of assistance from anyone.

We will wander off from the crowd looking for a treasure at the end of an un-traveled road, possibly fi nding a reward, but very likely discovering disappoint-ment while others look on. And, if my dreams are any indication, we will likely only be wearing underwear.

I have lived most of my life obeying such fears, and am sick and tired of it.

In the past few years, I have grown in-creasingly d i s s at i s -fi ed with the di-rection m y l i f e w a s head-ed in a vari-ety of areas. It became a b u n -d a n t l y clear to me that if I did not develop a plan for my life, other people and forces would plan my life for me, and I’m not sure they always have my best interests in mind.

With that in mind, I quit my job of elev-

en years about twelve months ago, tired of coming in every day and wondering if I would be eliminated because of budget cuts. Th e only thing that was keeping me in that job was a fear that I was worth very little without it. I did not respect such a line of thinking.

Some people disagreed with the de-cision, albeit respectfully, and I under-stand why. You don’t have to think deeply enough about it to arrive at the conclusion that it could be excellently stupid.

But I am on a mission - a mission of inhibition with a disposition of ambition to change my position and condition.

I want to make an honest eff ort to ac-tively carve out a life that’s more consistent with my desires and gift ings. I believe that

God created me for a purpose, and I stop short of that

by settling for some-thing predictable

and comfort-able.

I don’t want to f a d e into the crowd. I don’t w a n t to be merely a hu-man re-source.

B u t what will

that lead to?Well, a

2,000-mile ped-al-bike ride from

Maine to Texas, per-forming standup comedy

along the way.To make what is a long story a little

smaller, just know that I am a Christian

standup comic who loves to bike and has done very little to promote my own com-edy career, although what few opportuni-ties I’ve had have gone very well.

With that in mind, I decided to orga-nize and promote my own unique tour called Spokes and Jokes, which will have me leave Maine on a bike in September of 2013 for a three-month trek to meet some inspirational friends in Texas.

My wife and children are fully support-ive and are helping me plan this adven-ture. Th ey will also drive a vehicle along the route, enjoying the adventure and pro-viding important support resources, like chocolate

My desire is to share my story with oth-ers about how God is calling me out from of a mundane, cookie-cutter existence, to actively spit in the face of the fear of failure and to inspire other people to do the same.

To learn more, and to follow my prog-ress, please visit spokesandjokes.com.

Such an adventure does not happen without the help of many, and my hope is that friends, family and fellow citizens will rally around me in my quest to add some color to what can oft entimes be a grayscale life.

And fear not. Funnies Extra will con-tinue in my absence.

My mission is to add to my life and that of my family and others a measure of what I hope Funnies Extra provides, a depar-ture from the norm, a reason to smile and color on every page.

I will need to raise a lot of money for this trip. Th e fi rst such eff ort will be at my fi rst pretour performance at Camp Fair Haven, 81 West Fair Haven Road in Brooks on November 3 at 7pm. I would love for you to come and hear the story in person.

If you wish to invite me to come and share and perform for your group, please contact me at [email protected] or call (207)557-3251.

Spokes and Jokes Tour Aims to Replace Fear with Adventure

by Chris Quimby

Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at [email protected] or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby

A Message from the Publisher Guy 2.50” x 2.00”

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© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

HOXWINDER HALL by DANIEL BORIS

15 MINUTES by ROBERT DUCKETT


© 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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• There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia as there are people. The kangaroo population is estimated at about 40 million. • In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born

with a crooked nose.

FACT OR FICTION?

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3.50” x 6.50”



CRIME-QUIZ by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN THIN LINES by Randy Glasbergen


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Contact Funnies Extra Headquartersfor information on starting your own lucrativeFunnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry!

Limited licensing opportunities availablein select territories across the U.S. and Canada.

For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com.

NO FUNNIES EXTRA IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS?

No problem!


For answers, visitfunnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

1 2 3 4

14

5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12

13

wordgam

es.co.uk

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC in North America only.


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LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS


CHUCK DOWNS Cartoonist

Haikus amuse meBut sometimes can confuse me

Refrigerator

I always fi nd random things in my pockets at the end of the day: paper clips, gum wrappers, dry cleaning receipts and the ever-present lint. These drawings are what’s left in my head when the day is done: the random “pocket lint” of my brain.

Chuck Downs is a carbon-based form of cartoonist who lives in Florida with his wife and two children. By day, he is vice president of marketing for a company that clearly does not conduct very thorough background checks. By night, he fi ghts crime. Now that he is old-er, his experience only walks the gamut for fear of pulling a ham-string. He often “misuses” quota-tion marks, and likes to frequently split his infi nitives.

Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information,go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF fi le along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: [email protected] and type “Spotlight” in the subject line.Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited)

HOLLYWEIRD by MARK SIMON


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MARK SIMON Producer/Director/Cartoonist

Mark Simon is 25-year fi lm & TV veteran amassing over 3,000 production credits including animation producer on Larry the Cable Guy’s latest movie, Tooth Fairy 2. His storyboard and animation companies, www.Storyboards-East.com, have included clients such as Disney, Uni-versal, Viacom, Sony, HBO, Nickelodeon, FOX, Steven Spielberg, USA Networks, ABC Tele-vision and many others. His experience selling original TV series lead to his founding www.SellYourTvConceptNow.com to mentor other creators. He is also the author of ten popular industry texts, and lectures around the world at major conferences, entertainment trade schools and universities.

POCKET LINT by CHUCK DOWNS


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ACROSS1 Iffy attempt 62 Now ___ this! 24 Stir up5 Unwanted email 63 Genealogy 25 Teen's woe9 Way off diagram 26 Sasquatch kin

13 First-rate 64 Abnormal 28 Mr. Pitt14 "Candid Camera" growth 30 New driver,

request often15 Antitoxins DOWN 32 Blue-pencil16 Notion 1 Gave voice to 33 Handel 17 Bamboo 2 Big fuss contemporary

muncher 3 Over again 34 Memory unit18 Gemini, for one 4 Tall, skinny guy 36 Engine 19 Stocks slump 5 Intelligence, component21 Keyed up slangily 38 Widespread 22 Composer Cole 6 Conjunctivitis outbreak23 Silly person 7 City council 41 False teeth24 Silky synthetic member 43 One of two evils27 Word after sex 8 Entree item, 44 Unearth

or status often 46 Hunt illegally29 Spotted cat 9 Tear into 47 Renegade31 Work for 10 Fake, as an 48 Met production32 Recede, as the injury 50 Sandwich

tide 11 Light-bulb gas cookie35 Two, for one 12 Like 4-down 52 Tapestry thread37 Christening 14 Train for a bout 53 Fluctuate

observance 20 Clothing 54 Auspices39 Hawaiian embroidery 55 Start to sink

garland 23 Like carbon or 40 Enjoy a book nitrogen42 Portray43 Touched down45 Church

contribution46 Introduction49 Encroachment51 Klutz's cry52 It rises after a

good rain56 Gets older57 Musical exercise58 Nativity trio59 Medical

discovery60 Abstain from61 Eye part

The Weekly Crossword

Answer to Last Week's Crossword

by Margie E. Burke

Copyright 2012 by The Puzzle Syndicate

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13 14 15

16 17 18

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29 30 31 32 33 34

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39 40 41 42

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46 47 48 49 50

51 52 53 54 55

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W I T N E S S C A S S I AW A S H A B L E A N A L O GA D L I B B E R L O C A T ED E E R W I E L D G A S

S O P O R I E LA C E T A L U R N O B I TB O X S A L S A S P A D EH O T L I N E N E M E S I SO K R A S S I D L E T O TR E A D H S N S A F E T Y

S T O O D E R AB O T R U N U P M I T TA V A T A R L A H D I D A HR E C O I L G R E E N E R YS N O O T Y E A R N E S T

THE DEEP END by TYSON COLESPECTICKLES by BILL ABBOTT


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Answers to last month’s crossword


Want to learn more about Funnies

Extra!? Scan this tag with your

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KARMA CAFE by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT

SPEED BUMP by DAVE COVERLY CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK



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