GRIT FOR WRITERS

WHY PASSION AND PERSEVERANCE ARE THEKEYS TO YOUR SUCCESS

TAMAR SLOAN

Copyright 2017 by Tamar Sloan. All Rights Reserved.No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by anymeans, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or on anyinformation storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the

author or publisher (except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review).

Disclaimer: The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for everysituation. This work is sold with the understanding that the Author and Publisherare not engaged in rendering legal, psychological, or other professional services.

Neither the Author or the Publisher shall be liable for damages arising here from.The fact that an organisation or website is referred to in this work as a citation or

potential source of information does not mean that the Author or Publisher endorsesthe information that the organisation or website may provide or recommendations itmay make. Further, readers should be aware that internet websites listed in this workmay have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it

is read.ISBN: 978-0-6480923-2-2

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Acknowledging all the valuable help and insight that made this bookis going to be difficult to capture. It’s a timeline that goes way back tomy father, who has instilled in me (and has stoically lived) the drive tohelp others. It goes back to the day I married my husband, the onewho has been the rock that my writing career is founded on. Itincludes the two boys that I strive to role model reaching your dreamevery day.

Jumping forward, thank you to the authors that contributed theirunforgettable stories of passion and perseverance — they trulyinspired and touched me. Thank you to Karina and Diana for theirinsightful beta reading. Your feedback provided a nuanced and well-rounded final product.

And Heidi Catherine and Kat Colmer. The two writers thatbelieve in me when I don’t, whose words make me a better writer. Youare two funny, generous, smart, amazing CP BFF’s. You are the irre-placeable core of my success team. And to top it all off, you’re twotalented writers in your own right (sheesh, talk about over achievers)!

And lastly, thank YOU. Thank you for reading my book. Isincerely appreciate all of your helpful feedback, and would love to

hear what you have to say. Your testimonials are what will help tomake the next version better. Please leave a supportive review on myAmazon or Goodreads listing.

I wish you all the best in your writing journey,Tamar Sloan

WELCOME

If you're one of those people who finds writing day in, day out comeseasy to you, if writer’s block never throws up a wall, or you'veachieved the success you dreamed of quickly and smoothly then youdon't need this book. I salute you, and (to be totally honest) envy you.I'm not sure why you've picked up Grit for Writers, but if I were you,I'd be writing your own book because I'm willing to bet that you're aminority. Possibly an anomaly.

For the rest of us, writing can be challenging. For me, it's prettydarned hard. Writing involves long hours creating something deeplypersonal, then offering it up for public consumption judgment. Therejection from agents and publishers, the slow sales, the negativereviews, and most insidious under-miner, self-doubt, are all hurdlesevery writer will face. They are all hurdles every writer will struggleto overcome. Despite what some of the loudest voices out there arepromising, it's not an easy industry to succeed in. In a flooded,competitive market, how do you live your passion and keep reachingfor your dream?

Grit.Grit is the ability to stick with things that are important to you,

through hell and high water, thick and thin, through thousands ofwords and hundreds of pages. The good news is this very key to yoursuccess can be cultivated and grown, and Grit for Writers has thetools to develop the mindset and instil the behaviours that will pavethe road to your writing success. You'll learn how to recalibrate yourmindset and how to motivate your actions with proven psychologicalstrategies. Before you realise it, you'll be the writer you're proud of,the one others look up to, the one that lives their passion.

As a practicing psychologist, my role is to motivate change inpeople every day. Through years of dedicated work and study, I'veexplored which strategies work and why, and then implementedthem with my clients. As a writer I've experienced the lows, the self-doubt, the 'impostor syndrome' (that persistent fear of being exposedas a fraud) in a very personal manner. As a writing coach, I've seenthat no writer is immune from them. What I've learned is there's adistinct line that separates the successful author from the wanna-bes— passion and perseverance.

Learning to reframe your mindset and then applying this frame-work to our actions will benefit you. Each of these techniques haveallowed me, and countless others, to generate the kind of success andwriting-satisfaction we all crave. Through the real-life stories inter-spersed throughout this book you'll see that it’s possible. Everydaypeople overcoming the multitudes of challenges life throws at themto fulfil their dream of writing. It's inspirational and motivating. AndI know without a doubt that if they did it, if I did it, so can you.

If you follow these steps in the pages that you now hold, you'll notonly become a better writer, you'll actually enjoy the process. I trulybelieve that the results you achieve will allow you to be the successfulauthor you dream of being.

Don't be the writer that never finishes their novel. Don't be thewriter that defines themselves by the 'no thanks' replies to submis-sions. Be the writer that experiences criticism and rejection and over-whelming self-doubt...and succeeds!

The strategies that you're about to learn have been proven to

create lifelong results. The steps are simple and the results can beenjoyed by anyone who's prepared to put in the work. All you have todo is read and apply these proven strategies and you'll be on yourway to writing success.

PART I

THE WHAT, THE WHY ANDTHE HOW

WHAT IS GRIT? AND WHY WE NEED IT

Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.

- Angela Duckworth

Imagine a group of West Point cadets, every one of them an academichigh achiever, most are varsity athletes, each has secured a nomina-tion from a member of Congress, a senator, or the vice-president ofthe United States, all on the cusp of a long-held dream. And yet aftertwo years of striving to get into such an esteemed establishment, onein five of these cadets will drop out before graduation, a significantproportion of those during the gruelling summer training programknowns as the 'Beast Barracks.' Who are the ones that didn't make it?

Imagine a line-up of impressive young men and womencompeting in the Scripps National Spelling Bee, kids that have 'out-spelled' thousands of others from hundreds of schools to now standin a nerve-wracking live broadcast of the grand final. Is there a way topredict who will win? Is it IQ? Is it a natural talent with words?

And finally, imagine a woman enduring a seven-year perioddefined by divorce, the death of her mother, barely surviving on

benefits as a single mother, suffering from depression, and evenconsidering suicide. Imagine following your dream and writing abook only to face two years of rejection.

In all these cases, it wasn't talent or ability that made the differ-ence between those that succeeded and those that did not.

It was grit.For the cadets, grit mattered more than SAT scores in predicting

who stood proudly at the graduation ceremony. For the youngspelling minds of our future, grit mattered more than intelligence inreceiving their nationally televised first place trophy.

In the last scenario, grit is what enabled JK Rowling to becomeone of the best-selling authors of all time (and to be the first person tobecome a billionaire from writing books).

Grit is what will ensure your success as a writer.What's impressive is that grit has got countless writers to the

place you aspire to be. Whether it’s completing a book, whether it’spublishing a book. Even if you're aiming to give JK Rowling a run forher impressive income, grit is the key to your writing success.

What is Grit?

Angela Duckworth, psychologist, best-selling author, and leadingexpert in this field, defines grit as 'passion and perseverance for long-term and meaningful goals.' In her book, Grit: Why Passion and

Resilience are the Secrets to Success, she spends a solid 300 pagesdemonstrating with inspiring stories and cold-hard data that grit isone of the most, if not the most, important predictor of success forWest Point cadets, national spelling bee competitors, school children,executives, athletes, artists and many more. It was the very same bookthat inspired me to adapt what she conveys for writers. It spurred aflurry of broader research into grit and how we can develop it (alongwith a whole heap of personal reflection). Therefore this book isfounded in Duckworth’s research and publications, but also all theconcepts and skills that comprise grit and my own personal practiceas a psychologist and a writer.

4 What is Grit? And Why We Need It

The first component at the heart of grit is passion, but thispassion isn't about the intense emotions my fellow romance writersstrive to capture. This passion isn't just about falling in love with yourdream, it’s about staying in love. You know on a living, breathingconscious level, what it is you want and why. Passion within thecontext of grit is your compass. All roads are bumpy, there's alwaysthe temptation of detours or rest-stops. But passion is what will keepyou pointing in the right direction day after day, month after month,year after year.

Perseverance, the second component of grit, is about making thissense of purpose enduring. Like Duckworth says, 'enthusiasm iscommon, endurance is rare'. Even if what you have to do is boring, orfrustrating, or stressful, you wouldn't dream of giving up. Grit isfounded on resilience and hard work.

Just like elite athletes, world renowned musicians, or the storiesof the writers interspersed between these pages, I believe that toachieve success in the writing game, non-cognitive abilities like plan-ning, persistence and determination are more important in the longrun. Grit is what you'll need to achieve writing success.

And if you haven't thought it yet, you soon will. So what, talentdoesn't count? It's true, the ability to learn any skill is easier for somemore than others; they 'just get' mathematics or they can draw ahorse that actually resembles a horse. Like it or not, some of us arebetter than others when it comes to any specific skill. Yes, talentmakes achieving a goal that little bit easier.

What's that you say? Surely other factors make a difference? Ofcourse they do. Tall people have a natural advantage in basketball,pretty faces get cast in more lead roles. Writers that understand theintricacies of grammar or how to craft a metaphor are one step aheadof me.

And what about prior experience, opportunities, connections,and plain old lady luck? Sure, a more experienced sales person isgoing to have an advantage over a wet-behind-the-ears newbie. Chil-dren born into wealth have more doors at their disposal just waitingto be opened than those living below the poverty line. I have a friend

What is Grit? And Why We Need It 5

who is a school librarian, and through her connections she got tohave lunch with a big name author who was willing to look over hermanuscript. How lucky is that?

But consider this:If you were to compare two people with matching characteristics,

who would be more likely to succeed — the one high on grit, or theone that loses momentum over the first hurdle (that no amount oftalent will protect you from)?

All I can say is, Angela Duckworth wrote a best-selling bookanswering that question.

And then really mull this over:How much control do you have over how many doors fate has

lined up for you, what was threaded into your DNA, who your auntBertha plays bridge with? Not a whole lot.

How much control do you have over your psychology and yourchoices?

Yep - that's where your locus of power is.That's where you tip the scales.And that's what this book is for.

Why Grit is the Key

Writing is a grit demanding profession. With the advent of cost-effi-cient digital publishing, with the flood of self-published work, bookshelves are now immortal, infinite and jam-packed. Writing is acompetitive, flooded market. Although updated data is always beingpublished, the following statistics provide a ballpark idea of the sheermagnitude of what writers face.

It is currently estimated that there are over five millionKindle eBooks on Amazon alone. There are around 2,000new eBooks published each day.Bowker, the US company that issues InternationalStandard Book Numbers (ISBNs), reported that the

6 What is Grit? And Why We Need It

number of ISBNs from self-published books grew by 375%between 2010 and 2015.Over one million books were published in the US in 2009,more than triple the number published four years earlier(2005).Experts estimate that the average self-published authorsells less than 100 copies.For those seeking traditional publishers, it is estimatedthat the big publishers receive 4,000 to 5,000 submissionper year (about a hundred per week). A proportion ofthose don't meet the submission guidelines or aren'tprofessionally presented and are automatically rejected.Of the remaining proportion, 90% are rejected by the firstparagraph. 98% are rejected by the first chapter.People are reading less and less. In 2015, 43 percent ofadults read at least one work of literature in the previousyear, the lowest percentage in any year since 1982, whenthe literature reading rate was 57 percent. The averagenumber of books each person reads over the course of ayear is 12, which is probably inflated by voracious readers.The most frequently reported number was 4 books readper year.

Kinda depressing, huh? The reality is, writing in the current marketisn't a get-rich-quick scheme. Just like any career, it's going to take timeand effort. I had to study for four years to become a psychologist (aftercompleting two other degrees), and then complete a two year intern-ship. Was I a fabulous psychologist when I graduated, even after all thatstudy? Put it this way, I cringe when I think of my first session with aclient. I had to study for two years to become a teacher, also a postgrad-uate qualification (I'd already completed a science degree several yearsearlier). It took me at least another two to become proficient at all theintricacies that involve quality teaching. What if I decided I wanted tobecome a cabinet maker? I'd have to study the craft, buy the tools, and

What is Grit? And Why We Need It 7

then I'd create my first project — maybe a chest of drawers. I would poureverything I learned into those pieces of timber. Should I try to sell it?Yes, it’s taken countless hours and a whole lot of dollars, and yes, I'mpretty proud of it. But is it good enough for public consumption? Shoulda consumer choose it above all the other chests of drawers out there?

No, they shouldn't.What these statistics tell us is that to be successful you have to

write a darned good book. Your creation has to stand tall above therest, a shining gem that readers won't be able to resist. One they willtell their family and friends about, one that will have them frothing toread more of your creations. Now there are whole slabs of Amazonshelves and internet space allocated to the puzzle that comprises awell-crafted book. But reading them, absorbing them and makingthem yours takes time and effort. Sitting down and writing draft afterdraft takes time and effort. Just like being a good teacher or effectivepsychologist or creating a carved masterpiece, a darned good bookwon't happen quickly or easily.

For that, you'll need grit.

8 What is Grit? And Why We Need It

HOW GRIT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

What I love about grit is that it works double time. When you employ

grit, not only are you transforming talent into skill, but whilst you're

busy persevering, skill transforms into achievement. Let me explain

using Duckworth's fabulous equation:

Talent on its own is nothing but unmet potential. It's my son's

knack with animals. It's my friend’s capacity to make even the grump-

iest person smile. But inject some passion and perseverance (i.e. grit)

through your talent and you've got skill.

Talent x Grit = Skill

But skill on its own is nothing but 'could've been'. It's the come-

dian that never got up on stage. It's the book that never gets

published. What happens when you take those skills and throw in

some more grit?

Skill x Grit = Achievement

Bam, you've got the road to success all paved out.

Let me give you an example in the literary world, one that Duck-

worth herself cites. John Irving's fourth novel, The World According toGarp, was a bestseller for several years. It won the National Book

Award for Fiction in 1980, was recommended for a Pulitzer, and a

movie adaptation of the novel starring Robin Williams was released

in 1982. I'm going to propose that would meet most writers’ definition

of success.

But Irving's road to success wasn't straightforward (is it ever?).

Irving recalls receiving a C- in high school English. He had to stay in

high school an extra year to earn enough credits to graduate. His

teachers considered him 'lazy' and 'stupid.'

It wasn't until Irving's son was diagnosed with dyslexia that he

understood why school had been so difficult — he, himself, was

severely dyslexic. Irving had always found reading effortful, consis-

tently taking longer than his classmates, usually reading with his

finger following the sentence. What's more, Irving wrote three books

before Garp, each one was reasonably well reviewed but failed to gain

a large readership.

Irving himself states he isn't a natural. What Irving does is

rewrite, over and over and over again. He spends more time revising a

novel than he does writing the first draft. Irving's confidence in his

writing stems from his capacity to 'go over something again and again

no matter how difficult it is.' Just like any other successful writer or

executive or athlete, Irving demonstrates that grit is the key to

harnessing your talent and skill. Millions of readers touched by

Irving's words are a testament to this fact.

So grit counts twice. With effort, talent becomes skill, and at the

same time, effort makes skills productive. It doubles your chances of

success!

So now that we know what grit is, and we understand why it’s

such a game changer, how do we cultivate it?

Let me show you.

10 How Grit Makes the Difference

The Grit Formula

Duckworth frames grit as comprising passion and perseverance. For

me, that translates to mindset and action. Let's call it the formula for

grit, one that consists of how we think gritty and how we act gritty;

Gritty Mindset + Gritty Actions = Successful Author

Gritty mindset, the passion portion of our formula, provides the

foundation for the persistence and resilience you're going to need on

your writing journey. In the Gritty Writer's Mindset chapters I'll show

you how to:

1. Connect with why we write.

2. Foster the hope that will drive you to write day after day.

3. Develop a mindset that strives for growth.

But to be a gritty writer you need both the mindset and the action.

Whilst connecting with your passion, being optimistic and having a

growth mindset are all vitally important, they're only half the picture.

You need to translate them into gritty behaviour. It's not enough to

want to play guitar, you need to pick up the instrument and practice.

It's not enough to want to be a successful author, you need pick up

your pen and practice!

In the Gritty Writer's Actions chapters I'll show you how to:

1. Set and commit to effective goals that are specific,

manageable, and important to you.

2. Learn to practice your craft in a way that is effective and

productive.

3. Build your self-control.

4. Make writing a habit.

5. Recruit a team to support, encourage and extend you on

your road to success.

Every chapter is followed by an activity, one that is based on current

How Grit Makes the Difference 11

research and evidence based practice. I've created a free workbook

which you can download it at

www.psychwriter.com.au/psychwriterbooks.

But before we move onto the mechanics of grit, we should define

one last factor in our formula — success. Now there's a tricky concept

to articulate. What, exactly, is success in writing? Is it the pay cheques

of James Patterson or John Green or Nora Roberts? Is it winning the

Booker Prize or a Pulitzer? Is it the New York Times best-selling

badge of honour? Is it profoundly and irrevocably touching just one

reader? Is it holding a single book, the one with your name on it, in

trembling hands?

The definition of success is as diverse as the writers that strive for

it. From plotters to pantsers, from lifelong dreamers to 'I just had a

crazy idea' (that would be me), from romance to psychological

thrillers to dino porn, writers are snowflakes. Unique. No two are the

same. And so is the definition of success. Success for every writer will

be truly diverse and deeply personal.

But, as you'll see, if we don't define success we won't know what

our goal posts are. We're playing basketball with no hoop. So, for the

purpose of this book, I'll define success as earning an income the

average person could live off. If your definition is different, then

simply 'insert here' whenever I refer to success.

Now, let's go and get gritty!

12 How Grit Makes the Difference

PART II

THE GRITTY WRITER'SMINDSET

1

PURPOSE

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give yourgift away.

- Pablo Picasso

I would imagine that nearly every writer has an understanding ofwhy they write. Most of us have been lifelong readers. Most of ushave deeply respected and admired those talented people whoproduce movies in our head with nothing but strategically placedwords. On a more personal level, there's the indescribable sense offlow when the words pour out oh-so-effortlessly, there's that stroke ofbrilliance when a plot twist strikes out of nowhere, there's the feelingof creating something that no one else has before. Every one of thosefeelings is motivating and rewarding and necessary for our long-termwriting mojo.

But the reality is that success in the writing game is more of amarathon than a sprint, and that sort of motivation tends to wax andwane. In fact, one recent study showed that people's motivation to

continue pursuing their goals wanes about halfway through anddoesn't pick up again until the end is in sight. When you consider thelength of the average book (there's a lot of variability depending ongenre, but let's say 70,000 words), and the time it takes to write one(once again, highly variable, but it would average around 6 months),that's a pretty lengthy saggy middle.

Luckily, the purpose that underscores the passion of grit is evenmore than that. As Angela Duckworth says, 'the idea of purpose is theidea that what we do matters to people other than ourselves.'

If that mission statement doesn't apply to writing, I don't knowwhat does. Sure, writing is about creating something unique, ourown slice of the impossible and extraordinary. But the short stories,the poems, the self-help books, the scary, moving, funny, touchingfiction we put out there is actually for the reader (otherwise we'd behappy for them to remain in our computers). Ultimately, we createthem to entertain, to inspire, to provoke what-ifs, to elicit emotions, tobroaden horizons, to challenge perspectives.

That drive is about touching others.This desire to connect has actually been programmed into our

DNA. Evolution's job was to make sure we survived, and it was prettydarned successful. Humans haven't just survived, we've thrived. Infact, around 7.6 billion of us currently sit at the top of the food chain.Evolution achieved this by making survival-enhancing behaviourspleasurable. If our ancestors hadn't had a hankering for food and sex,I wouldn't have written this book, and you wouldn't be here to read it.

And just like our drive for these essential-to-our-survival needshave been deeply wired into our programming, so did seekingmeaning and purpose. Why? Because the drive to connect alsoenhances our survival. Evolution discovered that humans whoconnect were more likely to survive than the loners (much to thedismay of my hermit tendencies). Communities were better at takingdown woolly mammoths than solitary hunters. Communities werebetter at keeping away saber tooth tigers than lonely sentinels.Communities built us shelters, gave us sanitation and electricity and

16 TAMAR SLOAN

printing presses. So if fellow humans help us survive and thrive, weneed to want to be with fellow humans and connect with them.

This is why we aren't content to let our manuscripts collect virtualdust on our computers. Why else do we reach out to our favouriteauthors to let them know how their book touched us? It's also whypositive feedback or reviews are just as good as chocolate (believe me,it's significant that I wrote that).

It's not surprising that research has shown that having purposeallows you to be persistent in your goals and resilient when you expe-rience setbacks. It's because you feel inspired by something biggerthan yourself. When you acknowledge that your writing contributesto others, in a magnificently diverse and deeply unique way, youappreciate the value of what you do. Once you articulate this, you'lldiscover that purpose is the foundation for your passion to write.

Grit for Writers 17

I

2

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

encourage every writer to identify how their writing is

personally rewarding, but at the same time, is connected to the

wellbeing of others. Completing this exercise will mean that

whilst you're tapping out the thousands of words needed to pave the

road to success, purpose will be the source of your motivation tomor-

row, next month, and when we're both lamenting how much fan mail

is in our inbox ;)

If you haven't downloaded the workbook (grab it at

www.psychwriter.com.au/psychwriterbooks) then grab yourself a

notebook, a piece of paper or just type into your phone, and ask your-

self the following questions (I've deliberately not included prompts

for these questions as this is a deeply personal and highly individual

exercise. All you need to know is there are no wrong answers).

1. Why do you write?

2. What do you hope to accomplish for yourself by writing?

3. How does your writing make a positive contribution to

others?

4. Imagine yourself in fifteen years from now. What do you

think will be most important to you then?

5. How would the world be a better place if you became

grittier with your writing?

6. What can you do, however small, to connect your writing

to your values?

7. Can you think of someone whose life inspires you to be a

better writer? Who? Why?

Grit for Writers 19

I

3

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

approached Marion Lennox to contribute to Grit for Writers afterhearing her keynote speech at this year’s Romance Writers ofAustralia conference. It was truly inspirational, because it spoke of

the difference our words make to readers, whilst acknowledging the chal-lenges inherent in writing. It was a privilege that she said yes.

I started writing when my kids were small, and by the time they werein their teens I was working on multi-book contracts. I was alsoteaching three days a week, caring for elderly parents, supporting ahusband whose career took almost every waking hour, tending ahuge garden, looking after pets, chooks… you get the picture. I wassitting up until two in the morning so I could fit my writing into mychaotic life.

Then I copped breast cancer.The diagnosis, surgery, radiotherapy and two rounds of chemo

took almost a year out of my life. Everything had to be dropped -apart from my writing. Writing was my lifeline. No matter how bad Ifelt, my fantasy world kept me sane. Outside my fantasy world wasjust plain scary.

As the interminable year neared its end I made a conscious effortto be grateful and upbeat. I had huge support from family andfriends, treatment was available as it’s not for so many, and theoutlook was on the positive side of the ledger. It’s hard to feel gratefuland upbeat when you feel like crap, but I gave it a red hot go.

So I wrote a medical romance around the theme of breast cancer,with part of the profit to be donated for research. In the end TheDoctor’s Baby was a pretty grim book but Harlequin was supportiveand I hung on in there until it was done. It helped my head. It helpedme get through.

Happily, I finally reached the other side of the medical conveyorbelt. With previous responsibilities still shelved, I felt giddy withrelief and an overwhelming feeling of freedom. I sat down and wrotea fun, over-the-top royal fantasy.

And then there was a mix up in the production line at Harlequin.The Doctor’s Baby was supposed to come out with a supportive flashfor breast cancer research on the front cover. Out it came, without itsflash. The next month, out came my royal fantasy – with the flash.

And you know what? I loved that my royal fantasy became myfarewell to breast cancer. Even better, the icing on the cake was that ARoyal Proposition was nominated for the US Year’s Best TraditionalRomance.

These two books still hold a huge place in my heart. They tell methat sometimes just plugging on can be a lifesaver, but they also tellme that there’s a time when you need fantasy. They tell me that funand fiction are almost as necessary in times of stress as the medicinethat saves our lives.

And they feel like a real two finger salute to breast cancer.Moving on…

Marion Lennox’s first attempt at writing romance, 'Dare To LoveAgain', a Medical Romance, was published by Harlequin Mills andBoon in 1990 - a worthy testament to her family's ability to survive oncheese sandwiches and spaghetti. Since then, she’s written over 100

Grit for Writers 21

romance novels, with more on the drawing board. Marion has soldover twenty million books, in up to thirty languages and in over ahundred and thirty countries. If you’re interested in the formalities,Marion holds a commerce degree and a teaching diploma. She has acouple of kids and a big extended family who look on and after herwith affectionate tolerance. Marion? The crazy one who talks topeople in her head... Marion has had twelve nominations forRomance Writers of America's Rita (Best Traditional Romance)winning twice, and twenty three nominations for the RomanceWriters of Australia's Romance Book of the Year.

22 TAMAR SLOAN

4

OPTIMISM

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

- Swedish Proverb

Optimism is the expectation that tomorrow will be better than today.It's the hope we have that our children will one day put their dirtysocks in the hamper all by themselves. It’s the hope that our bookswill reach that magical tipping point, the point of critical mass, andlaunch into the best-sellers list.

Being a successful writer is founded on optimism. On hope.But grit upgrades the concept of hope to something more power-

ful. Its takes the nebulous 'here's hoping tomorrow will be better' andmoves into the sphere of our control. Hope within the framework ofgrit is based on the expectation that our own efforts can improve ourfuture. It states 'I choose to make tomorrow better.'

And it does that with the power of science.For that we need to head back to 1964, where two first-year

psychology doctoral students at the University of Pennsylvania werein their laboratory. Marty Seligman and Steve Maier had two dogs ina harness as they received shocks to the back feet at random intervals(let's not get into the ethics of shocking poor canines in the name ofscience, okay?) Each shock lasted five seconds. If Dog 1 pushed itsnose against a metal panel at the front of the cage, the shock wouldend early. Dog 2 did not get a panel. So both dogs experienced thesame dosage of shock at the exact same times, but only the first doggot to have a say in how long the shock lasted. The poor things had toendure this for sixty-four shocks before being allowed to go back totheir home cages. Then the next pair were brought through to repeatthe process.

The following day, the dogs were placed in a different cage calleda shuttle box. This cage was divided by a low wall, just high enoughthat a dog could jump the barrier if they needed to. A high pitchedtone was sounded to warn of an impending shock. Nearly all of thedogs that had control over the shocks the previous day learned toleap the barrier. They heard the tone and jumped to safety. On theother hand, of the dogs that had no control over the shocks, most laydown and whimpered. They passively waited for the discomfortto stop.

This experiment was a turning point in understanding what hasnow been labelled 'learned hopelessness'. It showed that it isn'tsuffering that leads to hopelessness; it's suffering that you think youcan't control.

Let's really absorb that. Helplessness and all its negative corre-lates are a product of our perception of how much control we have.How we interpret or explain the inevitable challenges we will experi-ence as a writer affects the likelihood of feeling down and depressed.It affects our grit.

Luckily, once Seligman immersed himself in understanding thetwo-thirds of dogs that gave up helping themselves (and extrapolatinglinks between learned helplessness and depression, changes inappetite, sleep problems and poor concentration), he turned his

24 TAMAR SLOAN

focus to the third that remained resilient, got up, and tried again. Theones held fast to hope. Marty began to research learned optimism.

In the process of discovering that optimists are high achievers andhave better overall health, Seligman contributed to the body ofevidence that unequivocally demonstrates that how we view a situa-tion will make a difference to how we feel, and how we act. What hefound was that optimists — those that hold onto hope — see eventsdifferently. What's more, they see failure differently.

This is what research has shown pessimists tend to think inresponse to an adverse situation:

It's PermanentPessimists believe bad events won't ever change.'It will always be like this...'It's PervasivePessimists believe that bad events are universal, they are every-

where. They extrapolate that failure in one area of life means failurein life as a whole.

'Everything always goes wrong...'It's PersonalPessimists believe bad events are a product of their own personal

failures. They blame themselves for events that occur.'It's all my fault...'How do optimists think? Well, let's explore the other side of the

coin. If an optimist experiences an adverse situation, they tendto think:

It's Temporary:Optimistic people believe bad events to be more temporary.'Just because it happened this time, doesn't mean it will happen

next time.'It's SpecificOptimistic people compartmentalize helplessness; they believe

bad events are a product of a specific time and place.'It was a product of the unique circumstances of this situation.'It's Situational

Grit for Writers 25

Optimists attribute bad events on causes outside of themselves,they are aware of the myriad of variables that influence an outcome.

'It was a product of multiple factors, not just me.'It's not surprising that when we tell ourselves that we failed

because of something temporary, specific, and a product of a partic-ular situation, we are more likely to keep trying. We become moregritty. We become a successful author.

26 TAMAR SLOAN

W

5

LETS’ GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

e all vary in the continuum of pessimism to optimism.

Whether we default to one thinking style or another

depends on your genes and your environment. But the

beauty of learned optimism is in its very title — optimism can be

learned. And we do this by reacting to adversity in a new way.

I want you to imagine a scenario. It's one that most writers have

come across, a rejection letter from a publisher (if you've gone

straight to the self-publishing route, then I'd suggest replacing the

scenario with a ‘Did Not Finish’ one star review.)

First of all, place yourself in a pessimistic frame of mind (yes,

we've all been there). Identify how you would respond to each of the

pessimistic thinking styles:

Internal: (If it were me — 'I knew I didn't have the talent, who was I

kidding?')

Stable: (If it were me — 'I'll always get rejected.')

Global: (If it were me — 'I'll never be able to be a good writer.)

I want you to consider how likely you are to persevere in following

your dream. Give it a mark out of 10 — 1 Definitely Won't Persevere,

10 Definitely Will Persevere.

Now slip on your optimistic hat. Let's reframe these statements:

Situational:

Temporary:

Specific:

How likely are you to be gritty now? Give it a mark out of 10 — 1 Defi-

nitely Won't Persevere, 10 Definitely Will Persevere.

The optimist's outlook on failure can thus be summarized as:

'What happened was an unlucky situation (it's not personal), and

is really just a setback (it's not permanent) for this one, of many, goals

books (and it's not pervasive)'.

28 TAMAR SLOAN

H

6

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

eidi is a close personal friend of mine, and the writer thatinspired this book. When she told me her story, and how longshe’d been working towards her dream of being a published

author, I was impressed. And humbled—I’ve always wondered whether Icould have done the same. The fact that she persevered inspired me, and gotme thinking…it’s only fitting that her story is here.

After spending a lifetime wanting to blend in with the crowd, my

story of grit is very much a case of being careful what you wish for.

Because this is one situation where I wish I had a different story to

tell. I’d love to be one of the rare writers whose manuscript got

scooped off a slush pile by a big publisher, who immediately signed

me for a six book deal and made me a million dollars. But sadly, my

story is far more common than that. It does have a happy ending

though…

I’m in my forties now, having written my first manuscript twenty

years ago. I signed my first publishing contract this year. I’ve spent

half my life chasing a dream and it was the bumpiest ride I’ve ever

been on.

Sometimes I wish I counted my rejections. Most of the time I’m

glad I didn’t. My best guess would be that I’ve received well over fifty

of them. Perhaps it’s double that. Two dozen publishers turned down

the book I signed my first contract for, even though it won a ‘best

unpublished manuscript’ award with Romance Writers of Australia.

That award haunted me at times – was the best unpublishedmanuscript destined to remain exactly that?

With each rejection came the unspoken questions that would

buzz around in my head like a fly with no legs. Is it time to give up? Areyou good enough? Is it really worth this pain?

But somehow I shut down that voice. I swatted that fly time and

time again (perhaps that’s why the poor thing has no legs). I gave

myself time to be disappointed, but not too long. I got back up and

reminded myself of my dream and went back to work. And it was

worth it, because eventually that work led to my dream coming true.

Signing that publishing contract was one of the sweetest moments of

my life.

There are a few things that helped me get my grit on when I

feared that moment would never happen. I could tell you about my

writing friends who stood by my side, or my husband who refused to

let me feel sorry for myself, or the way my parents raised me to

believe I could do anything I set my sights on. But I think it’s more

than that. Those factors are all important, but grit is something you’re

either born with or you develop the hard way. For me it was both – a

natural born strong desire to succeed, and a few solid kicks in the gut

that I survived, only to find they made me stronger.

Which is just as well, as something tells me that there will be a

few more bumps in the road ahead. And whatever bumps might lie

ahead for you, just remember that having plenty of grit stuck to your

wheels, will help make sure you don’t slide off your road to success.

You’ll climb straight over those bumps and your dreams will come

true. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride!

Heidi Catherine is a writer with a weakness for stories that encourage

30 TAMAR SLOAN

readers to see the world in a new light. Her debut novel, The Soul-

weaver, won Romance Writers of Australia's Emerald Pro award, and

explores the possibility of loving the same souls over many life-

times. Not being able to decide if she prefers living in Melbourne or

the Mornington Peninsula, Heidi shares her time between both

places. She is similarly pulled in opposing directions by her two sons

and two dogs, remaining thankful she only has one husband. Heidi

can be found at www.heidicatherine.com

Grit for Writers 31

7

GROWTH MINDSET

It's not always the people who start out the smartest who end up thesmartest.

- Alfred Binet, inventor of the IQ test

Growth mindset was a concept that sparked a light bulb moment forme. A life-changing moment. I had spent my whole life unaware Iwas entrenched in a fixed mindset. Discovering growth mindset chal-lenged my assumptions about what I am capable of, about how I seemy own failures, and at the same time, intuitively struck me as true.I'd been applying a growth mindset with my clients (in the belief theycan change, irrespective of how long a behaviour had been present)and as a teacher (in setting high expectations for my studentsbecause I believed they could always achieve more) and as a parent(in the belief my sons could reach their dreams if they applied them-selves). But I had never really applied it to myself.

And then I discovered a book.Carol Dweck, psychologist and growth mindset expert, argues

that our talent, intelligence, and abilities can change through hardwork, dedication and the use of effective strategies. Basically, thosewith a growth mindset believe that their brain and abilities can growwith effort. They understand when they are learning or doing some-thing new and challenging — oh, like writing a book that will sellenough to produce an income — they understand that hard work canhelp them accomplish their goals. They believe they can learn fromchallenges and set-backs. Potential is based on the amount of drive,energy and determination necessary to accomplish a task or goal.

Your other option is a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixedmindset believes that abilities are 'fixed' — you're either smart andtalented or you're not. Your talent level is inborn and thereforepermanent. There's no point trying because there is little we can doto improve our aptitude, and every failure we experience proves thatvery fact.

Let me demonstrate the difference between fixed and growthmindset.

Alex has always dreamed of being a writer. She has multiplemanuscripts sequestered deep in her computer, most are unfinished,but one idea, one set of characters, wouldn't go away. Over countlesshours fitted around her day job and family, the story was written.With a trembling finger and a hopeful heart, Alex sent her newborncreation to six publishers. Over the next few months, two publishinghouses sent their form rejections, three never responded. One statedshe had 'an interesting voice and engaging premise, but the story lostmomentum.'

Fixed mindset Alex would think the following:

'I'll never write anything good enough to be published.''My writing isn't good enough.''I knew I wasn't talented enough to make it.'

A fixed mindset tends to interpret setbacks as evidence you don'thave what it takes. How likely is Alex to keep going after thesethoughts?

Grit for Writers 33

Growth mindset Alex would think the following:

'This publisher may not have liked it, but another might.''Right, so I haven't mastered momentum yet. What do Ineed to do next?''What can I learn from this?'

People with growth mindset believe they can grow; they reframeobstacles and setbacks as opportunities to learn.

Research has shown that having a growth mindset is one of thekeys to building grit. Dweck also convincingly demonstrates thatpeople with growth mindsets are overwhelmingly happier, healthier,more satisfied, and more prosperous and fulfilled in school, business,work, relationships, sports and life.

34 TAMAR SLOAN

T

8

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

he key to growth mindset is acknowledging you are a writer

in progress. We are never-ending drafts, each one a little

more polished and refined than the last. And just like

consecutive versions of any chart-busting novel, they only reached

that pinnacle with time and effort. This is where the power of one

tiny, three letter word comes in. The power of yet. By adding yet to

our vocabulary, by slipping it onto the end of our statements, we can

increase our grit.

For example, if you haven't nailed 'show, don't tell', if you can't get

a publisher to sign on one of your creations, if you can't figure out

how to prop up that saggy middle, adding the word yet to those state-

ments opens up to a world of possibilities. All of a sudden, your state-

ment becomes a problem with the assumption of a solution.

Check it out in action:

I can't get the hang of apostrophes...yet.

I can't figure out how to make this scene interesting...yet.

I can't find a publisher for my book...yet.

By simply adding yet to your statements you reframe them. They are

no longer statements without room for movement or solutions. Or

hope. They become a statement that you can change for the positive.

This mindset will allow you to persevere and bounce back from

setbacks and mistakes. Now if that's not gritty, I don't know what is.

Write down three (or as many as you like) statements that you

have believed about your writing. Once you've finished I want you to

rewrite them, but this time, I want you to put the word yet on the end.

Now reflect on the doors that one little word opens in your mind...

Grit for Writers 37

H

9

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

elen was one of the many writers that responded to my call for

stories of passion and perseverance. Her story is such an

inspiring one that I’m really glad she did, she truly shows what

grit is all about.

As I write this story of grit, I’m nursing some cuts on my forehead, afair number of bruises, and a few pulled muscles. No, I didn’t get intoa bar fight, crash a car, or get attacked by a werewolf (though I mayhave told a few people that last one). I have a sleep disorder, and afew nights ago I sleep walked/ran head first into my door, then spentthe rest of the night in hospital. This might seem like a strange storyto tell you, but I think it epitomises what grit means for me as awriter.

I live with a number of serious chronic health problems, the sleepdisorder being just one of them. Most of my illnesses are autoim-mune disorders, meaning my immune system attacks my ownhealthy tissue instead of just attacking diseases. These illnesses causea raft of unpleasant symptoms on a daily basis. I am always tired,always in pain, and there are days where I simply can’t get out of bed.

All of this would be a very good excuse not to write and no onewould blame me if I used it. But ultimately, I would be the onlyperson who lost out if I did that.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some days where I really can’twrite, yesterday being one of them. I had planned to sit down andwrite this story then, but after the sleep-running incident I wassimply too sleep deprived and in too much pain to think straight, letalone write something coherent. Grit for me means understandingthe difference between times when I can’t write and times where it isjust hard to write. If it’s just hard, then I need to push through anddo it.

Naturally, there are still a lot of “can’t write” days, and that canmake progress on projects frustratingly slow. Sometimes that slow-ness does make me want to give up, but I’ve learned to just keepcoming back to my writing each day that I can. Even the fastest,healthiest writers don’t write a novel in a single day. They plug awayat it, watching the word count build up over days, weeks, months andyears. Writing may be slow for me, but it will be even slower if I stop.

I think it’s been really important for me not to compare myself toother writers. They’re not facing the same challenges as I am, so thecourse they take is going to be different. Different doesn’t have to be abad thing though. Yes, many other writers will write more books thanI do, as they’re not dealing with those “can’t write” days. But even ifthey are fewer in number, I’m writing books that I care about, andafter pushing through a whole lot of barriers to finish writing them,I’m even more proud of the end result than I would have been if thejourney had been easy.

Helen Vivienne Fletcher wrote her first novel between the ages ofthirteen and sixteen. It is, by several accounts, one of the funniestnovels ever written. It’s just a shame it was supposed to be a psycho-logical thriller. Helen has worked in many jobs, doing everythingfrom theatre stage management to phone counselling. She discov-ered her passion for writing for children and young people while

Grit for Writers 39

working as a youth support worker, and now helps children find theirown passion for storytelling through her business Brain BunnyWorkshops, which runs creative writing holiday programmes andafterschool classes.

Helen is the author of three picture books for children, one shortstory collection, and one young adult novel, Broken Silence. She plansto release her second young adult novel early in 2018.

Helen has won and been shortlisted for several writing competi-tions, including making the shortlist for the 2008 Joy Cowley Award,and in 2012 she was the recipient of the Wellington Children’s BookAssociation New Pacific Studios residency. Her poetry and shortstories have appeared in online and print publications, and she regu-larly performs her spoken word pieces around Wellington. She hasalso turned her hand to writing for the stage with her first play How

to Catch a Grim Reaper, for which she was named outstanding newplaywright at the 2015 Wellington Theatre Awards.

Overall Helen just loves telling stories, and is always excited whenpeople want to hear or read them.

Author Website: www.helenvfletcher.comIllness Blog: http://littlemissautoimmune.blogspot.co.nz/

40 TAMAR SLOAN

PART III

THE GRITTY WRITER’SACTIONS

10

SETTING EFFECTIVE GOALS

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

- Napoleon Hill

Setting effective goals is the essential first step to achieving gritty

behaviours because they are like stepping stones. As each goal is

achieved, it brings you one step closer to transforming your dreams

of writing success into reality.

At its most basic, goal setting is the process of establishing an

outcome to serve one’s aspirations. What I love about goal setting is

that it costs little or nothing, and is evidenced based to have a positive

impact. Goal setting has been found to increase motivation, and

hundreds of correlational and experimental studies show evidence

that setting goals increases success rates across a multitude of

contexts.

Goal setting increases your chances of success in a variety

of ways:

Goals encourage you to take responsibility for your

success—research consistently shows that setting goals

drives people through their learning and desired

accomplishments.

Goals direct our attention to what matters—goals keep us

connected with our passion. Goals allow us to define our

dreams in measurable terms.

When people commit to achieving their goal, they are

likely to self-regulate their behaviours towards this

achievement. In a world of instant gratification, where our

entire economy depends on have-now, think-it-through-

later, where Netflix and cheesecake and Facebook feel

better than that darned plot hole I can't figure out, self-

regulation is an integral part of attaining our goals.

When people accomplish their goals, their success elicits a

slew of positive emotions such as interest, joy, and pride.

This highly reinforcing sense of competence resulting

from successful goal achievement encourages individuals

to set more challenging goals, ultimately and eventually

adopting goal directed mindsets.

Goals allow us to discover our own skills and resources—

my guess is you'll be pleasantly surprised (and you may

have underestimated your potential.)

Goals come under two umbrellas – aspirational goals and effec-

tive goals. The first category is for those goals that encapsulate and

articulate our dreams. Aspirational goals are what you visualise when

you say “I want to be a successful writer.” If you were to take a few

moments to project yourself 5, 10, or 15 years from now, what would it

look like? Most of us have spent time day-dreaming this very

scenario. For me, I have an income that allows for a family holiday to

wherever grabs my fancy each year and an inbox full of fan mail (and

possibly a drawer full of chocolate with a personal trainer standing

beside it). What I love about dreams is that they are like the minds

that conjure them — diverse and unique. Spend some time losing

44 TAMAR SLOAN

yourself to how you want your future to be; aspirational goals are

important to have, they are the foundation of hope (yep, our gritty

mindset optimism component).

But to achieve our aspirational goals we need to be smart about it

(pun intended). Reaching our mecca of successful author status is

going to take a lot of steps. Little steps and big steps, all amounting to

forward momentum. Each of those steps is an effective goal, and

setting effective goals is a skill we need to learn. The most important

step toward successful author status (our aspirational goal) is to set

effective goals, and effective goals must be specific, short-term rather

than long-term, and challenging. Conveniently, the ubiquitous

mnemonic 'Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely' goals

or SMART goals, allows us to define the desirable quality of goals

that will make them effective. Let’s explore each component in light

of the aspirational goal we’ve been discussing: I want to be a successful

writer.

Specific

SMART goals are specific; they state as clearly as possible what it is

you'll do and when.

The nebulous desire to be a better writer, or even a successful

writer, isn't a very specific goal. What is a better writer? A literary

word smith? A prolific writer? And how do we define success? A New

York Times bestseller? Someone that has published five books, ten

books, fifty? A specific income range to sit in? Give yourself a clear

cut, explicit goal and you'll increase your persistence, be less suscep-

tible to the undermining effects of anxiety, disappointment and frus-

tration, and it will be easier to evaluate your progress towards said

specific goal. Think of it this way; imagine if I had a video camera,

what would I see you, a successful writer, do?

Grit for Writers 45

Measurable

SMART goals are measurable; you can easily determine whether

you've achieved your goal. In psychological terms, this usually means

a behaviour we can see. Something tangible that we can count — has

it happened, or not?

In relation to our goal, we've touched on the term 'success.' I'm

not sure how you measure success, plus if I decided to try and quan-

tify such a term, then someone would invariably challenge me. And

so they should, success is deeply personable and highly variable. Do

we measure success in dollars? In books published? In literary award

acceptance speeches? In positive reviews? In the deep seated joy we

get from the incredible process of crafting words into images? I think

you get my point...

Attainable

SMART goals are attainable; a goal that you can and will do. In my

world, attainable translates to realistic (but I guess the R in SMART

was already taken...). You need to weigh the effort, time and other

costs your goals will involve against the gains and profits you are

looking to achieve. There's nothing wrong with shooting for the stars,

we all want to give JK Rowling a run for her money, but you need to

keep in mind the other obligations and priorities in your life. If you

don't have the time, or money, to reach a certain goal you'll under-

mine your chances of success. At the same time, that doesn't mean

that you can't take something that seems impossible and make it

happen by planning smartly and going for it!

The desire to be a successful writer as a concept is attainable.

There are a multitude of 'successful' authors out there, and if they can

do it, I firmly believe you can too. But when we take into account the

previous two points, it starts getting a little tricky. What sort of time-

frame are you talking about to reach success? Oh, and what was your

definition of success again? I'd love to be a household name like Nora

Roberts or Nicholas Sparks, but planning on achieving that by the

46 TAMAR SLOAN

end of the year, considering I work as a psychologist and don't plan

on quitting any time soon, considering I have two beautiful boys that

would live off packet noodles if I didn't cook, considering I need time

to not write so that I can keep doing this for a long, long time, then

that goal isn't very attainable. Once I narrow down the parameters,

then we're cooking with success.

Relevant

SMART goals are relevant; they matter and they're important to you.

Yep, this is the part of SMART that ties directly to your passion. Why

is this goal important to you? Why do you care?

This is about the only SMART box that our aspirational goal, I

want to be a successful author, ticks. When we discussed purpose and

completed the activity, we articulated why this goal is important to us.

Why it's relevant. Why it’s our dream. Always keep your aspirational

goal in mind, but for an effective goal, you're going to have to go back

and fill in the other boxes...

Timely

SMART goals are time-bound; you set them with a clear timeframe

for completing them. We all know that deadlines are what make us

switch from contemplation to action. Keep them realistic and flexible,

and go for it!

We've already touched on this, our goal I want to be a successful

writer goal has no timeframe and no deadline. It’s certainly aspira-

tional (I think in most cases, aspirational goals shouldn’t be defined

by a deadline), but it’s not effective. Considering we don't know what

our outcome is, it's kinda hard to know when we can say we've

crossed the finish line.

Grit for Writers 47

S

11

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

o we know there's overwhelming evidence that effective goalsmake a difference. Do you know what increases the likelihoodof attaining our goals? Writing them down. A recent study

demonstrated that individuals who write down their goals are notonly significantly more likely to achieve their goals, but they achievethose desires at a significantly higher level.

Set yourself a goal that will move you forward towards youwriting success. Is it writing 300 words per day? Is it editing yourcurrent manuscript? Is it learning story structure? Then fill out thetable to make sure it's SMART.

SpecificWhat is it you're going to do?

MeasurableHow will you know you've achieved your goal?

AttainableIs this goal realistic? Why?

RelevantWhy is this goal important to you?

Time BoundWhen will you have this goal completed by?

Since SMART goals should be small and achievable, you're going toneed to keep setting them. Once you've achieved one goal, set thenext, and the next. As you achieve each one, you'll find that successbegets success.

Grit for Writers 49

E

12

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

ach time a writer agreed to be part of this book I was humbled,and Melissa’s story is no different. Melissa’s story is the epitome of‘never give up’—neither physical nor mental health challenges

have stopped her from reaching her dream.

I was born to write, but almost dying stopped me cold for more than

two years.

I published my first novel in late 2011 and had built up a modest

but decent following for my Paranormal YA series. But in early 2013, I

became quite sick.

It was pregnancy that made me very ill and almost cost me my

life. It also cost me more than $50,000 in medical debt. It meant I

needed to work two jobs while figuring out how to be a parent and

struggling to recover my health. There was no time left for writing.

So, I worked and paid that debt off in just over a year. I enjoyed

every moment with my daughter and husband, and when finally I

had room to breathe again, I returned to writing.

Everything was different now. Not only was I a Mom and a more

than two year out-of-practice writer, I now had a lovely diagnosis of

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to contend with.

And I realized awfully quickly that all the anxiety that came

hand-in-hand with my newfound OCD could kill my dreams or help

me to finally achieve them. You see, stress is energy. It’s power. It’s a

tool, if you know how to work it.

And I refused to give up.

Writing was just too much a part of who I’d always wanted to be,

who I still was somewhere deep inside. It was who I wanted to be in

the future. Above all that, I wanted to show my daughter that dreams

never die. She needed to learn that “Strong Woman” wasn’t just a

couple words splashed across a T-shirt, but also a way of life.

And so—with a lot of fear and more than a little hesitation—I

came back, bruised and battle-weary, weaker than before, but also so

much stronger.

My approach to writing changed, but so had the kind of story I

wanted to tell. With all I’d been through and with the stories and

values I hoped to pass on to my daughter, I switched from writing

Paranormal YA to Christian Romance. I wanted to show her that

there was kindness in the world, and that she could add to it.

I started up again slowly, finding my new voice, and doing my best

to connect with the readers who want to hear it. I truly started over,

deciding to write under my real name this time instead of a

pen name.

I kept going, kept learning, kept doing the things that were impor-

tant to me—and it was then that I finally found true success as a

writer.

Now in 2017, I publish more, earn more, and—most importantly

—my words are changing lives. They offer hope and comfort to my

readers. They remind me how precious life is, especially to someone

who came very close to losing it. They enable me to be the best mom,

the best writer, the best me.

And, to think, I’d almost given it all up.

Grit for Writers 51

Melissa Storm is a mother first, and everything else second. Writing

is her way of showing her daughter just how beautiful life can be,

when you pay attention to the everyday wonders that surround us.

So, of course, Melissa's USA Today bestselling fiction is highly

personal and often based on true stories.

Melissa loves books so much, she married fellow author Falcon

Storm. Between the two of them, there are always plenty of imagina-

tive, awe-inspiring stories to share. Melissa and Falcon also run a

number of book-related businesses together, including LitRing, Novel

Publicity, Your Author Engine, the Author Site, and the Alliterates.

When she's not reading, writing, or child-rearing, Melissa spends

time relaxing at home in the company of her five dogs, cockatiel, and

a rescue cat named Schrödinger. She never misses an episode of TheBachelor, because priorities.

www.melstorm.com

52 TAMAR SLOAN

13

PRACTICE

Practice doesn’t make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.

- Vince Lombardi

Most of us have heard the 10,000 hour rule: you need to invest 10,000hours of practice to become an expert at anything. Santana-levelguitar playing. A gold medal triple pike off the high board. A writingcareer that spans 56 books like Stephen King's. But it’s not just thenumber of hours that counts when it comes to paving the road tosuccess. Let me show you with the hypothetical Michelle (who is amix of authors I've met, with a light sprinkling of me).

Michelle has been writing for almost 10 years. She imaginedherself as writer way back in primary school when Ms Papadopoulosput her story about the little lost llama in the school newsletter.Michelle has completed several manuscripts; mostly romance, but acouple of middle grade. She's submitted to publishers more timesthat she is willing to count. She's glad we now have email, because ifall those rejection letters were in physical form, her carbon footprint

would be Sasquatch sized. Every day Michelle sits down to write 700words. She does it without fail. If she's sick, if her kids are sick, if herboss is on holiday and she's responsible for staff as well as her owneveryday tasks. She's entered a handful of competitions, but didn'ttake the feedback from the judges too seriously because she knowswriting is so subjective. Sure, there's times she's considered throwingdown the pen, but she figures that she could always self-publish.

Apart from the statement Michelle just made about self-publishing (no, it's not Plan B after traditional publishing hasn't gotyou anywhere), Michelle is missing something. She practices. She'sprobably well on her way to clocking 10,000 hours. But will shesucceed? I can't confidently say yes. And if she does go the self-publishing route Michelle's likelihood of making an income from herwriting is still compromised. Why? Because she hasn't learned aboutdeliberate practice.

What is deliberate practice? It's a particular strategy gritty peopleuse to achieve success. Gritty people acknowledge that they need tostretch themselves beyond their current abilities if they want to masterany particular skill set. They realise that there are areas in their craftthey are going to have to focus on and refine. Deliberate practice is aboutpurposely and intentionally targeting your weaknesses. These authorsbecome interested in what they haven't mastered yet and fixing it.

Deliberate practice comprises four steps:

1. Set a stretch goal

Gritty people will zero in on just one aspect of their overall perfor-mance. Rather than focus on what they already do well, they strive toimprove specific weaknesses. In his book Marketing for Writers WhoHate Marketing, James Scott Bell (one of my many heroes) states thatour most important marketing tool is the quality of our books. Hebreaks down the craft of writing into seven 'critical success areas':

1. Plot2. Structure

54 TAMAR SLOAN

3. Characters4. Scenes5. Dialogue6. Voice7. ThemeA darned good book, a successful book, needs to tick every one of

those boxes.

2. Strive to reach the stretch goal

Gritty writers on the road to success will focus and work tirelesslytowards achieving their stretch goal. Using the strategies we'll bediscussing in the next couple of chapters, these individuals remainfocused and determined, even though it can be challenging oruncomfortable.

3. Get feedback ASAP

How are you going to know whether you've improved? That you're onyour way to mastering the skills you're fine tuning? Feedback. Themore promptly and frequently the better. Feedback provides a clear,unbiased view of your writing, to see your creation in ways youcannot see yourself. Other people will look at the very same wordsyou've placed oh-so-carefully on the paper in a very different way. Inan objective way. Without this unbiased, alternative perspective,choosing the next step e.g. go and read up on deep point of view,tweak and refine my character arc, or declare the stretch goalachieved (with much pomp and ceremony), isn't possible. It's down-right impossible. In his book, Talent is Overrated: What really separatesworld-class performers from everyone else, Geoff Colvin quotes a highlyrespected teacher on leadership development. Goldman Sachs saysthat practicing without feedback is like bowling through a lowhanging curtain. Sure, you can work on the technique all you like,but what's going to happen if you can't see the effects? One, you won't

Grit for Writers 55

get any better. Two, you'll stop caring. So feedback is an essentialcomponent of deliberate practice.

True deliberate practice requires a teacher or a mentor for thisrole because they are more skilled than you. They have the knowl-edge and experience to recognise what you've achieved, to distin-guish when you're not quite there yet, and the expertise to provideadvice on how to move forward. But, in the writing game, that's not soeasy. Or affordable. But feedback from a variety of sources is stillgoing to be valuable (I'd say invaluable), so consider what is feasibleand accessible for you, and go and get it. Here are some suggestions(ranging from the most affordable but least skilled to the least afford-able but most skilled):

GET FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO READ YOUR WORK

Friends and family can provide valuable perspectives, and theirfeedback is usually free (although you may have to barter breakfast inbed or offer some babysitting). Most of us can recognise a good storyor characters we don't connect with. The only shortfall is that friendsand family aren't entirely subjective. They are invested in keepingyou happy because you buy their Christmas presents. They will giveyou feedback, but it’s less likely to be constructive. Also keep in mindthat unless they are a writer themselves, they aren't going to beknowledgeable in the components and complexity of a darnedgood book.

CRITIQUE PARTNERS

The discovery of my critique partners took my writing from alevel I didn't know I'd settled into, to a level I couldn't have predicted.Critique partners are fellow lovers of the written word that have someunderstanding of the anatomy of a good story. As a general rule, theseare fellow writers, and you exchange your work to provide honestand encouraging feedback. Critique partners can find things youmissed, plot threads you've left dangling, characters that are hard to

56 TAMAR SLOAN

connect with. What's even more rewarding, is finding critique part-ners that share the writing journey with you – the highs, the lows, theunexpected turns. They provide a level of support and encourage-ment that is impossible to quantify.

A word of caution though; it may take time to find fellow writersthat are a good fit. My first critique partner was not a productive rela-tionship. Our writing styles were incompatible and her feedback didnot extend my writing (or help my fragile writer’s ego). There’s lots ofinformation out there on what makes a good critique partner (andways of finding them), so if it the relationship isn’t a reciprocal one, orisn’t extending you, gracefully bow out and try again.

ENTER COMPETITIONS

Competitions are a wonderful way to gain completely objectivefeedback. Your name isn't included on the manuscript entry, so withthe protection of anonymity, judges feel free to let you know whatthey think. The positive feedback is always encouraging. Theconstructive feedback is the stuff you're looking for. The rest? Well,just beware, sometimes it can be questionable (the qualifications ofthe judges are highly variable) or just downright negative. Despite thecaveat, competitions are well worth it.

DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR

As a developmental editor, and a writer that has my manuscriptsprofessionally edited, I'm a firm believer in the power of hiring aprofessional editor. If you hire an editor, you get the experience andknowledge of their qualifications, but more importantly, you'repaying for objectivity that values the power your story over theprotection of your ego. An editor will delve into your masterpiece,pull out the gems, and shine a light on the holes. Character inconsis-tencies, POV issues, story structure slumps will all be identified in aconstructive way because you'll be given a road map on how to makeyour story the best it can be. In my opinion, that's money well spent.

Grit for Writers 57

FIND A WRITING COACH

A writing coach gives you everything a developmental editor will,but on a regular and consistent basis. The feedback you'll receive(whether it’s weekly, fortnightly or even monthly) will provide theknowledge and skills you need to take your writing to the next level.To a successful level. They will be your mentor and teacher and yoursupporter. As a writing coach myself, I know this is the most resourceintensive option, but also the most effective.

4. Repeat and repeat, oh...and repeat

Writers that are committed to perfecting their art will take their feed-back and do one more thing. Actually, several more things. They'llrepeat the exercise over and over and over again. Luckily for writers,that involves doing what we love best. Writing and writing somemore. Gritty writers will keep going until they have mastered whatthey have set out to do.

Let me give an example that Duckworth uses to demonstrate thepower of deliberate practice. When Benjamin Franklin was young hewanted to write, but he didn't know how he only had two years ofschooling. So, he taught himself. He found stories that he liked andrewrote them, some purely from memory. But he did more than justwrite stories, he zeroed in on specific weaknesses. To enhance hiscommand of language, he turned poetry into prose and prose intopoetry. To improve his ability to make logical arguments, Franklinwould mix up his notes and then tried to put them back into thecorrect order. It was Benjamin himself that said 'energy and persis-tence conquer all things.'

What deliberate practice will do is stretch you. Yes, this means itwill take more time (although not necessarily 10,000 hours), and yes,it will probably start to nudge the edge of your comfort zone. In fact,if it's not, then you're not doing it properly. My theory is that delib-erate practice may be the hardest part of grit. The goals that chal-

58 TAMAR SLOAN

lenge us tend to be the ones we put last on our to-do list or weconveniently find something just as productive (but far lessconfronting and challenging) to do (oh, like researching parapsy-chology terminology...). Deliberate practice isn't always fun, but it isan investment in becoming a better writer. In becoming a successfulwriter. Remember that darned good book we spoke about? The oneyou're going to need to reach success? Well, deliberate practice isgoing to be a necessary process to get there. Step by step, stretch goalby stretch goal, each subtle refinement and distinct improvement willadd up to a stunning mastery of the craft of writing.

Plus if you employ a little growth mindset, keep optimistic andremember your purpose, you'll find yourself doing it and maybe evenenjoying the challenge!

Grit for Writers 59

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14

STRETCH YOURSELF ACTIVITY

eliberate Practice is a little different to SMART goals. Thegoals you're going to identify in this activity are what youcan do to stretch yourself. These goals will take a little

more time, a little more effort, and a good dose of dedication.

1. Identify your weaknessLooking at James Scott Bell's critical success areas, which area of

your writing do you feel (or have had feedback) is a weakness?

2. Set a specific stretch goalSet a targeted goal that addresses this weakness (e.g. 'I will focus

on improving the dark night of the soul in my plotting' or 'I will focuson making my characters unique and memorable').

3. Strive to reach the Stretch GoalLike Nike says — 'just do it.' How will you work towards your

stretch goal? I suggest allocating a regular time once or twice a week

to either create new content or edit a current work with your stretchgoal in mind.

4. Get feedback ASAPOnce you've thought and typed and tweaked then find someone

to tell you what they think. Considering the list I've provided, whowill provide you regular feedback in relation to your stretch goal?

5. Repeat, repeat, repeat.Write down how you will know you've reached your stretch goal.

What knowledge would you have gained and how do you know this?

It won't be easy, nor will it be a whole load of frolicking fun. But onceyou're there you'll rejoice. You'll sit back as pride fills your chest and asatisfied sigh fills the air. You may even whoop and victory dance.

But then you'll sit back down, go back to step one, and start again.You'll mould and build and strengthen your writing mastery and

those will be the bricks that pave your road to success.

Grit for Writers 61

K

15

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

adee is a fellow author of Clean Reads Publishing. After seeing

some of the motivational posts she puts up on social network-

ing, it didn’t surprise me when she volunteered to contribute. I

think anyone who has ‘Has anyone told you today? You’re fabulous!’ in

their email signature knows the power of words and the meaning of grit.

“Get your first negative experience as fast as possible; use it as alesson to improve.” Jill Coleman’s words in an online marketing classconfirmed my perspective about facing fear as a writer. What’s themost hurtful thing to experience as a writer? Say it with me: the audi-ence hates the story. Well, the truth is, every reader has a preference,and every writer has a tribe. In the finding of the tribe, that writerwill experience the crushing heartache of the terrible reviews. Everywriter gets terrible reviews. Find some bad reviews as fast as possible,go garner some rejection, and see how you react to it.

My first horrible review came as a writhing shock and I admit Icried ugly tears. My husband stated matter-of-factly, “If you can’t takethe bad reviews, then you might as well give up now.” I then slunk outthe door to walk among the starlight. After spending two years

earning my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, three yearswriting my Young Adult trilogy, and taking another year and a half toquery agents and publishers, I thought the fruition of the actualnovel becoming a published book would mark the beginning of thesuccess. The two-star review proved it did not.

The beginning of my success came after I realized the reviewdidn’t melt me into a puddle. I still had ten capable fingers, two brighteyes, and a heart riddled with courage. The worst can happen, andyou can survive it. The review gave me pause to consider why I wrote,who I wrote for, and what I wanted from my writing. The beginning ofmy success began in my mindset to persevere regardless of outcome. Iam my biggest critic and my biggest fan—if I love my stories, thenthat is the win. If I give every word, every sentence, every paragraph,every chapter my best shot, then that’s the win. I don’t need a hugeaudience, but I desire to make a huge difference in my audience,whoever they may be.

Forget the numbers, forget the reviews, forget the awards. Yes,listen to sound advice regarding the tools of the trade. Yes, listen toconstructive criticism. Yes, read a variety of books—every genre,every style, fiction, non-fiction, self-help, journalistic, your preferenceor not. Study the trade! Admire the trade! Unabashedly wrestle withthe trade! Commit to writing every day. The best ways to improvewriting? Daily practice, diligent study, and teaching others. But mostof all, consistently and persistently embrace the struggle. That feelingafter you’ve battled and lost, then actually survived? And found your-self better off afterward? Priceless. Surround yourself with your tribeand people who root for you. Make sure you are rooting for yourself,too. Find your why, unleash your ardour for the art, and yank it alongthe journey with you. You’ll find, more often than not, it pushes youonward and upward.

Fierce yet sparkly, I help seekers find brave new worlds. The goal ismagic, the medium is ink, and the fuel is coffee. And sometimespizza. I teach writing on the university level when I'm not dancing

Grit for Writers 63

around the living room with my family, lifting heavy at the gym, trav-eling the planet (on foot or Google maps), or bingeing superheroshows.

The INSURRECTION trilogy, HERE BE DRAGONS, and IGNITEroll out perilous motives, twisty plots, and daring protagonists. Grabsome real estate and your copy of my latest adventure, and followalong on social media.

http://www.kadeecarder.com/

64 TAMAR SLOAN

16

SELF-CONTROLTHE MOST IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY ABOUT SELF-

CONTROL IS THAT IT CAN BE TAUGHT.

-Walter Mischel

More than 40 years ago, a psychologist named Walter Mischel

conducted what is famously known as the 'marshmallow test',

successfully laying the groundwork for our understanding of self-

control. Mischel and his colleagues presented a pre-schooler with a

plate holding a delicious marshmallow. The child was then told that

the researcher had to leave the room for a few minutes, but not

before giving the child a simple choice: the child could eat the one

marshmallow now, or if the child waited until the researcher

returned, she could have two marshmallows. There are quite a few

videos online capturing the comic torment and suffering the children

experienced as they wrestled between the pull of instant gratification

or delaying that gratification for a greater prize.

The struggle that played out as the children grimaced, looked

away, some ever so gently nibbling the edge of the marshmallow,

illustrates the two competing voices in our heads; the loud, impulsive

voice that seeks instant pleasure (and avoids discomfort), and the

quiet, thoughtful voice that urges us to consider the long-term bene-

fits of making a different choice. When we're trying to work towards a

goal, such as losing weight, quitting smoking or writing a book

destined for success, the ability to tune into the benefits of long-term

thinking as opposed to feels-good-right-now is vitally important.

The reality that we often gravitate to what feels good in the

moment is thanks to the present bias— the tendency to give stronger

weight to immediate payoffs at the expense of future goals. We do

this because evolution knew that the future can be abstract and

uncertain, while the present moment is offering its bounties right

now. To survive, it’s smarter to go for the guaranteed return rather

than wait for a possibility. Except evolution hasn't caught up with our

easy access to delicious refined sugar, Netflix and memory foam

mattresses. Oh, and we also live longer now...

That's not to say it’s impossible. People choose say no to chocolate

cake everyday (I truly respect those paragons). People quit smoking

despite the addiction. Shoppers resist the lure of the latest iPhone so

they can save the deposit for their house. They achieve what some of

Mischel’s pre-schoolers achieved when they chose to sacrifice the

immediate pleasure of a sugary, chewy marshmallow in order to

indulge in two marshmallows at a later point. They exercised self-

control and delayed gratification. You can do it too; you just need to

be in charge of your brain.

What Mischel found was that those children who could wait

exhibited the following behaviour:

They didn't look at the marshmallow, they walked away

from the marshmallow, or they distracted themselves.

They imagined the marshmallow as something abstract,

like a cloud.

They imagined the marshmallow as something gross.

They kept their focus on the end goal — two

marshmallows!

So although you won't have to choose between one marshmallow

66 TAMAR SLOAN

or two (I prefer to buy them by the packet), you will have to choose

between Facebook or deliberate practice, or between sleeping in or

waking up early to grow your word count. Countless others have

achieved this before you, which means you can too. Just like the kids

who did not eat the marshmallow, there are tools at your disposal to

strengthen your self-control. This is what science has learned thanks

to Walter Mischel and those that have followed him when it comes to

self-control (they're listed from most effective to least effective):

1. Choose the place

The best strategy for self-control is to set yourself up for success.

Locate yourself in places where writing that best-seller is going to

happen. It may be a library, it may be a cafe that lacks the distractions

of family and a floor that needs to be mopped.

2. Modify the place

Sometimes taking the mountain to Mohammad isn't practical. In

those situations, changing the environment to enhance success is

your next best bet. Removing distractions is probably the most rele-

vant example. Turn off Wi-Fi, put your phone on do-not-disturb. Try

using one of those apps that shut down the internet so you can focus.

3. Focus your attention

If you have to have your phone handy, or your inbox open, then focus

your attention in a way that will help you resist temptation. Use your

attention like a torch beam, focus it on what is important — like your

computer screen or the notes you're madly scrawling on a page —

and let the rest fade into grey.

Grit for Writers 67

4. Reframe

Change your perspective of the short-term gains. Instead of thinking

that you just have to find out what's happening in the news, think

about the time you're losing working on your manuscript (this is

what the pre-schoolers did when they reframed the marshmallow

into something undesirable).

5. Old fashioned willpower

The least effective of the five strategies is depending on willpower. At

the moment of temptation, when the marshmallow is sitting in front

of you, you need to exercise a whole lot of effort to resist. It can be

done, and it’s a good strategy to keep in mind if all else fails, but you

need to keep your grit goal in mind. Just like the children who said to

themselves don't eat it, you can tell yourself don't do it.

68 TAMAR SLOAN

T

17

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

hink about the times you've been gritty in respect to your

writing goals. Did you rely on willpower to achieve it, or did

you use some of the strategies we just discussed?

What self-control strategies, either ones I've suggested or ones

you've discovered work for you, have you used to be successful in

reaching your writing goals?

Now, thinking about your writing goal that you set earlier in the

book. How much will you rely on willpower?

Choose the place

Modify the place

Focus your attention

Reframe

Willpower

What strategies might you use that would be more effective?

70 TAMAR SLOAN

I

18

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing writer’s personal stories of grit.Melinda’s story is a testimony to the power of passion and persever-ance in making your dreams come true. I also love that her story

demonstrates the power that self-publishing can place within a writer’slocus of control.

In 1995, I sent out my first novel and got my first rejection.I was a bright-eyed college student of 25 years, just married, and a

writing hotshot. I read a lot of classic literature and I’d been churningout stories since grade school.

“You must want to enough,” Phyllis Whitney said of writing.“Enough to take all the rejections, enough to pay the price of disap-pointment and discouragement while you are learning.”

Boy, did I ever. I was driven.When I sent my novels to editors, I did everything I was supposed

to. I researched publishing houses. I subscribed to the Horn Book. Iwrote new stories and sent them out, and kept improving the stories Ialready had. I went to a bunch of SCBWI conferences, meetingeditors and agents. I was in critique groups. I honed my craft.

By 1999, I was publishing in magazines. I still racked up novelrejections with very nice notes from editors. I got “revise and resub-mit” requests. I would be asked to try again with another story. Butthey all ended with no.

I got a master’s of fine arts for writing for children at HamlineUniversity. I sold one book about the Civil War. Finally! But I couldn’tget anyone to buy my novels.

Hope is the cruelest trick a heart could play.Fifteen years turned into twenty. I’d racked up rejections in the

high hundreds, possibly low thousands.I’d hear about some little kid who was born in 1995 who said

“OMG I’ve signed on with Mr. RockStar Agent, he loved my story, ittook me a whole year to write! He was the first agent I sent it to andnow I have a three-book deal with BigName Publishing House!”

These little kids! These babies! Just strolling into the beautifulplace that I fought so hard for! It made my guts crumple.

I didn’t know what to do. I’d been writing since I was four yearsold. It just hurt. So many industry professionals had told me no –apparently I wasn’t as great as I thought.

I would try to write but I couldn’t. I tried to write stories, but I’dlost so much faith in my writing that I was constantly second-guessing myself.

But then one of my local writing friends persuaded me to giveself-publishing a try. One of his self-published novels had taken off.He’d been able to remodel a room and buy a new TV with theproceeds.

“Whoa!” I thought. Hell, if he could do it, so could I!I dug out an old short-story collection of mine. A really nice

editor had wanted to make an offer on this, but she said short-storycollections were a hard sell, so she’d passed.

So I published it myself.That was my first self-published book – September 3, 2016.I stepped into indie publishing and didn’t look back. I only

wanted to succeed – to get my books out into the world. Now I wasdoing it on my own terms. Nobody else’s.

72 TAMAR SLOAN

I took off like a rocket.I published all those stories that the agents and editors said no to.

I formatted books, made covers, did advertising and marketing,worked to find my audience and keep them. I wrote gardening books(I used to be a horticulturist). My rose book is really selling!

I’m writing this in December 2017. Since September 2016 I’ve self-published 21 books, most of which are polished novels that everyonesaid no to.

Now my readers are saying yes.I’m finally – FINALLY – doing what I was put on this earth to do.Grit is wanting to enough.But you’ve also got to find a place where your work is wanted so

you can grow. There’s no two ways about that. Indie publishing hasgiven me that place.

And that place is life to me.

I'm Melinda R. Cordell: indie author, former horticulturist, chickenwrangler.

I earned my Master’s in Writing for Children from HamlineUniversity, and I've been sending out novels for 20 years. I rage-quittraditional publishing last year, and on September 3, 2016, I self-published my first book, Angel in the Whirlwind. Exactly one yearlater, I self-published my 15th book, Outlander's Scar. Fifteen books inone year! I'm on my way to another 15 books right now, so look out.

I'm publishing a series of gardening books, drawing on my 20+years as a municipal horticulturist, rose garden potentate, landscapedesigner, greenhouse manager, etc. I have a bad back now, but thememories live on. The Easy-Growing Gardening series so far coversvegetable gardening, roses, houseplants, gardening month by month,tomatoes, perennials, lawns, and Japanese beetles. Stay tuned.

Sign up for my newsletterat https://www.subscribepage.com/romancenovel and get a free littlestory! Thanks very much for reading.

Grit for Writers 73

19

MAKE IT A HABIT

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

- Aristotle

Actually, there's one way we can sidestep the need to exercisewillpower. Willpower is a limited resource. Just like exercising amuscle, it can be tiring. Just like energy, we need to keep topping upthe tanks or we exhaust our supplies with repeated use. Anyone whohas ever dieted has experienced this. On day one it's easy to say not tothe ice cream for dessert. On day two and three, it's a little harder, butyou still feel proud when you graciously say 'no thanks.' By day five,when you're hungry and sugar starved and you've flexed thatwillpower each and every time your partner has relaxed in front ofthe TV with a bowl of salted caramel goodness, you give in. You'retired of saying no. Your willpower supply has dwindled.

To optimise your writing success you need to make writing ahabit. When we make an activity a habit, it becomes automatic. Weno longer need to draw on resources to make decisions, to focus our

attention, to resist tempting options. To make your gritty behaviourstick, you need to make it a habit.

Carl Duhig's book, The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do and

how to Change, talks us through the components of a habit. Heoutlines habits as a domino effect that the brain defaults to becauseour brain is always looking for ways to save effort. According toscience, habits compose of a cue, a routine, followed by a reward. Thecue is the trigger that tells your brain to engage automatic mode. It'sthe green light. Then there's the routine, the physical or mentalprocess that we move through. Finally, there's a reward, which tellsyour brain whether this particular loop is worth remembering forfuture us. The more we move through this loop, the more automaticit becomes.

For example, when we procrastinate, it starts with a cue — thefeelings of tension or anxiety. The routine is you find something elseto do — Facebook, the laundry or planning next year's vacation. Thereward? You feel better, the negative feeling goes away. Your braindiscovers an effective remedy for tension and anxiety so it decides it’sworth repeating again, and again, and again. Bam, before you've hada chance to finish the first season of Friends, you've got yourselfa habit.

There's two salient points that Duhlig makes — when a habitemerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. Itquite literally goes on autopilot so it can go do other important tasks,like figuring out the whether low fat cheesecake is actually worth thesaved calories.

But as argued and evidenced throughout his book — habits aren'tdestiny. Now that we know the parts of the machine, we can starttinkering with the calibration. What science has found, was tochange a habit, you just change one step in the sequence. The cuestays the same, and the reward arises naturally, what you need toalter is the routine.

The cue is what helps you identify when you are about to fall intoan old habit. If this were me, the cue would be the stressful feeling atthe prospect of having to write a pre-set number of words. The new

Grit for Writers 75

routine is that I get in and start typing (the old routine was diverseforms of procrastination — I even went and did the weeding oncewhen I was writing my psychology thesis). The reward will be thesense of accomplishment I feel as my word tally rises, as I see mycharacters come to life and my story unfold. I just need to do that asmany times as I've procrastinated and avoided, and repeat (and repeatand repeat). Luckily, I can use my passion and perseverance to do thisover and over and in no time it will be automatic. Next thing I know,when I feel the pressure of needing to write whether I have theenergy or not, I'll get in and type. Next thing I know I know, I'll bebasking in my achievement and my remaining waking hours will beguilt-free.

Changing habits is hard, but possible, and I love the metaphor ofthe rock and mountain to explain our tendency for habit and ourcapacity for change. I want you to imagine a rock strewn hill. It'scraggy and speckled with tussocks of grass and pockets of rocks. Itssurface is as uneven as the folds of our grey matter. Now imaginewhat it would be like to push a large rock, a big heavy boulder, all theway down to the bottom of the hill. It would take quite a bit of effortto push it over the bumps, around the rocks, crushing the long grasson its way. Now suppose I continue to push more rocks to the bottomof the hill, over and over and over again. What would happen? Yep, apath — a rutted groove — would form. Once that rut is formed, itwould be pretty easy to push the next rock down the hill. A smallpush and it would slip into the groove and tumble right on down.Yep, you just formed a habit.

But suppose I've realised this path is not the one I want to keeptaking. It no longer gets me the result I was looking for. I want tochange my habit. But the other path, well, it doesn't exist! The barelytouched area of mountain is rocky and grassy, and it takes a lot ofeffort to push the rock down to the bottom. Again, over the bumps,around the rocks, crushing the tussocks of grass. What's more, therocks keep trying to slide into the old groove. They fit, it’s quick, andit’s easy. That old rut isn't going anywhere.

That's the challenge of re-wiring a habit.

76 TAMAR SLOAN

Yep, even as we make progress, the old rut is there. Beckoning.Reminding us the reward is easier to achieve and quicker to receive.But, if we keep pushing the 'rock', this new choice, down the hill overand over. And over. What happens? We form a new path. A newgroove. A new habit. What's more, the less the old rut is used, themore the grass will grow over. The more time will fill in the depres-sion. You'll have a brand new habit that is automatically moving youcloser to being a successful author.

Our brain is all about short-cuts. Heck, I'm all about short-cuts, soI can see why it thinks they're such a great idea. They're efficient andeffective. The brain likes habits, and we can use that to our advan-tage. With some focused choices we can deliberately and diligentlycreate a different routine, a habit of a successful author.

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20

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

hink of one bad habit that is getting in the way of yourwriting success.

What is the cue?

What is the routine?

What is the reward?

Now write down one new good habit that will move you towardswriting success.

What is the cue? (Hint: it will be the same as the cue for thebad habit)

What is the new routine? (It can be as small as reading over yester-day's words)

What will be the reward (will it be the same or different)?

Now each time you notice the cue, the trigger to your old habit,implement the new habit. The more you do this, the more you willreduce your need to depend on willpower (I like to call mine MrsUnreliable). Over time, the behaviours that define a successful writerwill happen on autopilot.

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PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

arolyn is a fellow romance writer and her story demonstratesthe challenges life throws at us, and the power (and value) ofgrit in overcoming them. I particularly respect her commitment

to help other writers. Another truly inspiring story.

After winning the RWA 2012 Emerald Award (for best unpublished

manuscript) I went from being an amateur writer with no editing expe-

rience, to a seven book contract with an indie publishing house, Secret

Cravings Publishing, in the USA. If that wasn’t crazy enough, I was also

working full time and part of the RWA 2013 conference committee.

The whole of 2013 became a blur of edits, rewrites, and confer-

ence committee work. To this day I have no idea how I managed it.

But, at the time I saw it as a wonderful opportunity, so I dove in with

both feet and absorbed every single piece of writing knowledge on

offer. The year ended with me winning the RWA Ella award for my

first published book, and finalising the last story in my contract. I was

simultaneously over the moon, and very tired.

I remember declaring to Guy, my husband, on New Year’s Eve,

that I intended to sleep for a month, then start learning all about

marketing and promotion. The year had been so hectic; I’d barely

scratched the surface on how to promote these books I’d worked so

hard on.

The universe had other ideas. On the 14th

January, a bushfire

raged through my suburb, causing $150,000 to the house and

rendering it unliveable for six months. All of 2014 was taken over by

insurance paperwork, tradesman, and putting the pieces of our world

back together. Marketing and promo were pushed to one side. The

one thing I did do was join a writers group. If I couldn’t focus on mystories, at least I could help others focus on theirs. I found I loved

passing on the editing/writing knowledge I’d sucked in during my

eight book publishing marathon.

To my amazement, despite no promotional help from me, my

books had begun to find an audience, with four of the eight books

either winning, or being nominated for awards.

In early 2015, determined to get back to writing, I submitted my

first single title length story to Secret Cravings, who said yes. This

second foray into turned into another three books. The pressure was

enormous, and looking back, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t ready, but I

forged ahead, and one of the new books was nominated for the

International Digital Awards.

Things were finally back on track, right? Wrong. In early August

2015, Guy complained of a pain in his chest and was told he needed

major heart surgery. The following week our insurers found a loop-

hole in our health policy, meaning we weren’t covered. (Note to every-

one, always check the exclusions on your health insurance.) The

following week, Secret Cravings went bankrupt. All eleven of my

books disappeared from all retails platforms. Within twenty four

hours, I was officially no longer a published author.

It took almost a year on the public hospital waiting list before

Guy could have his surgery, and a further three months for him to

fully recover. Once again I put my writing on hold, and once again I

channelled my knowledge into another direction. This time it was

Grit for Writers 81

judging. During the course of that year, I judged 10 international

writing contests, and read and critiqued over 150 stories.

In 2016 I began working with an Australian publisher, Serenity

Press, on new stories and reworking old ones.

Do I regret anything that’s happened in my writing life? Not one

single thing. I learnt a lot about myself, about my determination, and

drive. And most importantly, I learnt how rewarding it was to help

other fulfil their dreams, even when mine were temporarily derailed.

Carolyn Wren is a Western Australian author whose family travelled

a great deal during her early life. This gave her a fascination with the

world around her. She only started writing in 2009, and hasn’t

stopped since. So far she's managed 14 published books and an entire

desktop folder of works in progress.

Carolyn doesn’t limit herself to one sub-genre of romance, prefer-

ring to let her characters take control. The resulting stories can range

from light hearted, sweet comedic contemporary, through to sexy,

action packed romantic suspense and emotion driven urban fantasy.

One thing remains constant in all her books. She loves a happy

ending.

82 TAMAR SLOAN

22

BUILD YOUR SUCCESS TEAM

If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders ofgiants.

- Sir Isaac Newton

Writing is considered a solitary activity — the term 'writer' always

brings forth images of introverted geniuses in their messy offices, a

typewriter their only friend. A picture of Roald Dahl comes to mind,

sequestering himself into his little writing hut to create his master-

pieces (even telling his children there were wolves in there so he

wouldn't be disturbed). But those images, like so many simplified,

stereotypical representations, are incomplete. Every word we write

has been influenced, motivated or touched by another human being.

From the family that instilled your values, to the teacher that loved

your first-grade story, to the friends that encouraged you, to the craft

books that moulded your voice, to the first fan letter you received, to

the last book you read by your favourite author, writing is a deeply

connected calling. We don't write in isolation, without the connection

of others there would be no reason to write, our imagination would

shrivel up and die. The truth is our creativity is a product of

community.

And so is your writing success.

Science has even proven it. Some of you have probably heard the

term 'mirror neurons'. These are the cells in your brain whose role is

to reflect, or mirror, the emotions and actions of the people around

you. A product of evolution, they are the cellular foundation, the

evidence, that our fellow humans are deeply influential. Think about

it. When you've been in a room full of stressed people, how did you

end up feeling? If those around you are smiling, do you notice your

own lips tipping up?

Despite the pitfalls (of things like peer pressure), we have a strong

drive to conform and imitate others —it’s how we develop a sense of

connection and belonging. They key is to know the type of people to

surround yourself with, because if you spend time with gritty people,

their passion and perseverance will work the same magic. We mirror,

consciously and unconsciously, the behaviour and thinking styles of

those around us. Yep, grit is contagious!

When you surround yourself with gritty people, those driven by

passion and perseverance, you're more likely to be gritty yourself, and

this happens through a number of ways:

Over time, the norms and values of the group become

your own. You’ll find yourself thinking and acting gritty

purely because ‘that’s the way we do it around here.’

When we see other people achieve their goals, we believe

that we can too — what a wonderful way to foster

optimism!

You create a support network for when we become

discouraged. Even the grittiest writers have moments

when they want to toss down the pen, throw up their

arms, and wail ‘I give up.’ That’s when you need someone

else to say ‘keep going, I believe in you.’

84 TAMAR SLOAN

Surround yourself with pessimists or those that are just as happy

to talk about writing as opposed to actually writing, or those that

whine about the challenges of the publishing industry, or those that

blame their poor sales on the evils of capitalism, and…well, you can

predict how that’s going to turn out...

To build your success team you’re going to have to find like-

minded gritty writers, and I’m going to put it out there that they are

everywhere. I’ve joined a couple of genre specific Facebook groups,

and the hard working, focused writers I’ve connected with inspire me

every day. I connected with two critique partners through a scheme

with the Romance Writers of Australia, and the value of their support

defies the capacity to be measured (in fact, one of them inspired this

book). My family, immediate and extended, and all my close friends,

support my passion for writing in countless small and not-so-small

ways. Seek and you shall find.

The second step is building a relationship that is mutually benefi-

cial. The key to fostering the right relationships with the right people

rests in the law of reciprocity.

The law of reciprocity is some fancy terminology that social

psychologists came up with for 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch

yours.' It basically predicts that if we initiate a kind or helpful gesture

to someone, they will respond with a positive action in return. It

happens in everyday life all the time — let me ask you this; how

many of you have sent a Christmas card to a distant relative just

because one arrived in the mail for you? These positive exchanges is

how society was built; 'hey Ugg, if you stay here and guard the cave,

I’ll go out and get us some mastodon for dinner.’ And it’s how you

will build your success team.

What the law of reciprocity means is that you have to help

someone before you ask them to help you. Make yourself useful.

Don't be the person that asks for something without willing to give

something in return (not to mention it’s bad karma). This is why

critique partners are so fabulous; when you exchange manuscripts

and feedback, you're both helping each other. If you want to connect

with other authors, read their books. Leave reviews. Share their news.

Grit for Writers 85

Be someone else’s cheerleader. There’s countless way you can help

those that you want to support you.

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23

LET’S GET GRITTY ACTIVITY

1. Think of who supports you with your writing currently.

Write down their names and how they help you be gritty.

2. How could you expand your success team? (Think online

communities, writers organisations, creating your own

local writers meet up.)

3. Do you have a role model, someone that inspires you to be

grittier?

4. How can you be helpful to others?

D

24

PERSONAL STORIES OF GRIT

iana’s story illustrates the power of spirituality in thefoundations of grit. Although I don’t explicitly explore spiritu-ality in this book, it’s valuable to note that many writers sense

of passion and purpose is founded within a deep sense of faith. I love howdiverse and unique grit is to each of us.

My debut novel was published in 2013. Running Lean featured a

teenage motorcycle rider dealing with a problem way over his head. I

thought I was riding high and on my way to greater things. While I

knew I would struggle with marketing while writing more books,

what I didn’t expect was for it all to come crashing down with a single

word: Cancer.

My half-sister passed away after fighting breast cancer. My diag-

nosis of a very aggressive form of what took my sister’s life was terri-

fying. So I finished out my book signing obligations for the year,

enjoyed the holidays with my family, and then embarked on an

equally aggressive treatment program. Surgery, recovery, and chemo-

therapy, with accompanying immunity-boosting shots and blood-

work. I lost my hair and a lot of my energy. I lost my agent after she

told me that my career was in a “delicate” place. I began to lose hope

as a writer. Was that one novel all the Lord would allow?

Years before, God set me on the path to writing clean fiction for

teenagers. He had taken me through many hard times before. I’d

experienced instances of miraculous encouragement, when I thought

I was failing or had no market for my work. How could I not trust the

Lord to bring me—and my career—through cancer as well? And if

one book was all I would ever publish, I decided that I would be

satisfied.

So I trusted Him.

There were days during my treatment when I felt horrible and

could barely lift my head off my pillow. But there were also days

when I felt okay. Days I could write. Days I could actually ride my

motorcycle to the doctor for a blood test or Neupogen shot. When

November rolled around, with the annual NaNoWriMo madness, I

tackled 50,000 words of the sequel to my debut novel, which, not

coincidentally, included a parent battling breast cancer.

When I completed treatment, I faced the inescapable fact that it

had been over two years since my debut novel came out, the sales had

long since gone flat, and I had no agent. Still, I trusted God. He’d

brought me through cancer treatment and enabled me to write

another book for a reason.

In the following two years, I signed a contract with a new agent,

my own personal rock star, and I signed two book contracts, for the

sequel and another book I’d written prior to that. I’ve finished three

short novels and started another full-length book. I even built a shed

in our yard where I could work.

Because God set me on a path, and He was and is and ever will be

with me as I ride out the storms that come my way. I can do no less

than to trust His hand is on the throttle of my life, accelerating or

slowing down, sometimes only inching forward, but never letting go.

Diana Sharples is an award-winning author and artist who is writing

contemporary fiction for young adults. Her debut novel, Running

Grit for Writers 89

Lean, was published in 2013, and she has two new novels coming out

in 2018, Running Strong and Finding Hero. She is also working on a

series of short YA mystery stories to be independently published.

Diana lives in north Georgia with her husband and daughter and a

house full of rescued pets. She can often be found riding her Harley

around the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains.

90 TAMAR SLOAN

PART IV

YOUR ROAD TO SUCCESS

25

ONWARD AND GRITWARDS

Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It mayget tough, but it's a small price to pay for living a dream.

- Peter McWilliams

We all face limits — not just in talent, but in opportunity. We can't allbe the word smith Ernest Hemingway was or have our stars align likeEL James. On top of that, life likes to throw its curve balls at you —sometimes harder and faster than we can catch or duck. But does thatmean we don't write? That we can't achieve success?

What most people don't realise is that success is a verb, a doingword. It's a process that is predicated on focus and hard workand time.

What happens far too often is that we impose limits on ourselves.We try, we fail, and we take it as a sign we've gone as high as wecan go.

We get distracted, we lose focus.We get discouraged and tired.

We get scared.And we never plumb the depths of our own potential.I wrote this book in part for myself, to break down the steps and

the skills I would need so I could 'do' success. But I mostly wrote it foryou. I truly believe success is achievable, that you could make a livingout of your writing. In truth, it's achievable for anyone that is willingto do the work. All you need is passion and perseverance to make ithappen.

You already have some of the skills that you'll need. As for therest? The information is available to you in this book and in the manybooks that it's built on. There are mentors and teachers waiting toshare their expertise. There is a community out there waiting for youto find it.

Success is waiting for you to reach it.All you need is grit.The question is — are you willing?

94 TAMAR SLOAN

I

26

ONE LAST PERSONAL STORY OF GRIT…

debated long and hard whether I should include my own story of grit.In part because I didn’t want to make this book about me, it wasalways for my fellow writers, and in part because I haven’t reached

the success bar I set in earlier pages; I don’t make enough income from mywriting to live off. But to be honest, those reasons are a smoke screen. It’smostly because of the stigma that is associated with mental health and thevulnerability inherent in exposing what some people perceive to be a choice.But I don’t believe in minimising the very real challenges of mental healthand I wanted to show you that Grit for Writers came from my own experi-ence of the value of grit. So here goes…

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder over a decade ago (in

retrospect, it was present way back in adolescence), and to top it all

off, a strong vein of anxiety runs through my compromised ability to

feel positive emotion. Depression is largely biological for me, a cycle

my body goes through repeatedly irrespective of the privileged life

I’ve been given, one that has required daily medication for 15 years for

me to function.

Depression undermines my capacity to believe in myself — my

inner critic is loud and persistent and very convincing. If I get stuck

(and that would be every second day) because I haven’t nailed an

original premise/a fabulous plot twist/a memorable character/an

engaging blog idea (anyone noticing any perfectionism tendencies?),

my brain promptly offers a reason why: You. Don’t. Have What. It.

Takes. Next it gives the only logical solution – give up.

Because of these thought processes the desire to procrastinate is

strong, and I don’t always win the battle. I’m tired a lot (irrespective of

how much sleep I get). The thought of writing makes me anxious

(every single time! I keep waiting for that edgy, taut feeling to go away,

but it never does…). There are days that I’m can’t beat the voice and I

don’t write a word.

I consider whether giving up is the logical solution.

But I set my alarm for 5:30 every weekday morning so I have an

hour of writing time before my responsibilities as a mother kick in.

Most evenings I edit or research or read, usually I write some more.

Every Sunday I publish a blog post.

It’s my passion that keeps me going. As a writer and a psycholo-

gist and someone who truly knows what it’s like to live with a mental

health condition, I believe words have power. That they matter. And I

believe in the power of connection. I see it every day, and I strive to

capture it in my writing. I keep writing by reminding myself of one

thing — don’t believe everything your mind tells you.

Applying those seven words has enabled me to live my passion.

I’ve published three books, a novella and a short story. I’ve won

multiple awards and hit number one in a few Amazon categories.

PsychWriter has made it on the Top 100 Websites for Writers and I’m

a resident writing coach for a popular writing website. The emails I

receive from readers and fellow writers are overwhelmingly positive

and encouraging and truly touching.

This is why I truly believe that passion and perseverance are the

keys to success. It’s true — grit matters.

96 TAMAR SLOAN

I

27

LET’S GET GRITTY TOGETHER!

wish you all the best in your writing endeavours and I truly

hope Grit for Writers was helpful. If you’re looking for addi-

tional help and inspiration as you continue your writing jour-

ney, I would highly encourage you to check out the PsychWriter

website at www.psychwriter.com.au. Grit for Writers will be available

as an online course in the near future (with loads of bonus features

and activities), so make sure you subscribe so I can keep you posted.

PsychWriter also has loads of information about the science of story,

how to engage readers, and sustaining the motivation to succeed.

PsychWriter can also help you on a far more individual level. Gritfor Writers is just the beginning of how psychology can help your

writing and career. Check out my PsychWriter Services page where I

offer affordable (I know how expensive following your writing dream

can be) developmental editing, one-on-one consultation and coach-

ing. Send me an email, I love talking to writers about their work, at

tamar@psychwriter.com.au.

If you’d like to connect on a more personal level, I have a Face-

book group, the PsychWriter VIP’s, where I post extra little goodies of

information along with answering questions directly from fellow

writers. Head on over and join us.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tamar really struggled writing this bio, in part because it’s in thirdperson, but mostly because she hasn’t decided whether she’sprimarily a psychologist who loves writing, or a writer with a lifelongfascination for psychology.

She must have been someone pretty awesome in a previous life(past life regression indicated a Care Bear), because she gets to doboth. Beginning her careers as a youth worker, then a secondaryschool teacher, before becoming a school psychologist, Tamar helpschildren and teens to live and thrive despite life’s hurdles of loss, rela-tionship difficulties, mental health issues and trauma.

As a writer Tamar is the founder of the PsychWriter blog – a fun,informative font of information on character development, thescience of story and how to engage readers. A best-selling author,Tamar is also a freelance developmental editor and a writing coach.

As an even longer lover of reading, inspired by books far morecaptivating than Dreamworks or Paramount or Universal, Tamarloves to write young adult romance. To be honest, it was probablyinevitable that her knowledge and love of literature would translateinto writing emotion driven stories of finding life and love beyondyour comfort zones. You can find out more about Tamar’s books atwww.tamarsloan.com

A lifetime consumer of knowledge, Tamar holds degrees in

Applied Science, Education and Psychology. When not reading,writing or working with teens, Tamar can be found with her husbandand two children enjoying country life on their small slice ofAustralian bush.

The driving force for all of Tamar’s writing is sharing andconnecting. In truth, connecting with others is why she writes. Sheloves to hear from readers and fellow writers. Connect with her onFacebook or Twitter.