I AM FORGIVEN

EPHESIANS 4:25-3225 “Therefore, having put away falsehood,let each one of you speak the truth withhis neighbor, for we are members one ofanother.

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let thesun go down on your anger,

27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

EPHESIANS 4:25-3228 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather lethim labor, doing honest work with his ownhands, so that he may have something toshare with anyone in need.29 Let no corrupting talk come out of yourmouths, but only such as is good for buildingup”—not tearing down—“as fits the occasion,that it may give grace to those who hear.”

EPHESIANS 4:25-3230 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, bywhom you were sealed for the dayof redemption.31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger andclamor and slander be put away from you,along with all malice.32 Be kind to one another,tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God inChrist forgave you.

ARE YOU MARA?

Her name, Naomi, meant sweet. Her identity was daughter of God, and her life

was supposed to be sweet.

RUTH 1:20

20 “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara,because my life has become very bitter.”

The worst day of her life became the defining day of her life.

And in asking others to call her Mara, she was accepting bitterness as her identity, and the lens through which she would

interpret everything that would happen for the rest of her life.

CHARACTERISTICS OF BITTER PEOPLE:

As you’re finding that place in your Bible, let me do a bit of work, pastorally and theologically, regarding bitterness.

1. Bitter people are always digging up the past.

If you talk to someone who is bitter, they will continually revisit painful

circumstances from their past. They can’t move on.

2. Bitter people remember intricate details because they

keep a record of wrongs.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:5b

5b “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”

3. Bitter people are triggered less by the offense and more by their love for the offender.

4. Bitter people are prone to be self-righteous since

they are the perceived victim.

5. Bitter people tend to place themselves on throne.

- where they rule and reign like judges, and they pass verdicts on people who have

done wrong, and they sit in a very exalted seat of pride.

“I see things clearly. I filled in the details of the narrative, and I’m here to render my

verdict, because that is my right as the victim.”

BITTERNESS- Is the possession of the one who is

perceived to have been wronged. This contributes to their sense of self-

righteousness and judgmentalism.

FIVE WAYS PEOPLE BECOME BITTER:

1. You wrongly think that they have sinned against you. They haven’t sinned against

you, but you think they have, but you’ve got your facts wrong, so it’s a lie.

2. Some of you have unreasonable and/or unspoken expectations that are unmet.

3. They rebuked you, and you were hard-hearted, and you were hurt, so you’re bitter

against them.You’re bitter against them. “How dare they say that to me? How dare they point that

out at me?”

4. You are jealous of them.

JAMES 3:14“… Bitter envy and selfish ambition.”

- This is not ambitious for the glory of God. This is ambitious for the glory of

self that fuels, feed, fosters bitter envy-JEALOUSY.

5. You have been sinned against.

When we are sinned against, we have two choices: bitterness or forgiveness.

They’re responsible for their sin, but you’re responsible for your bitterness.

Amy Carmichael“For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot

even spill one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”

If there’s bitterness in you, they’re going to expose it. They’re not causing it; they’re

exposing it.

If there’s sweet water in your soul, and someone sins against you, they’re

exposing, not changing, what is in your soul.

SIX COMMANDS FOR BITTER BELIEVERS:

EPHESIANS 4:25-2925 “Therefore, having put away falsehood,let each one of you speak the truth withhis neighbor, for we are members one ofanother.

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let thesun go down on your anger,

27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

EPHESIANS 4:25-2928 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather lethim labor, doing honest work with his ownhands, so that he may have something toshare with anyone in need.29 Let no corrupting talk come out of yourmouths, but only such as is good for buildingup”—not tearing down—“as fits the occasion,that it may give grace to those who hear.”

1. WATCH YOUR

GOSSIP.

“Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor.”— meaning, if you think they

sinned against you, go work it out with them.

GOSSIP is when we talk about people; we don’t talk with them. That’s gossip.

PROVERBS 26:20

20 “Without wood, a fire goes out. Withoutgossip, a quarrel dies down.”

2. WATCH YOUR

EMOTIONS.

“Be angry and do not sin.”

EXODUS 34:6

6 The LORD passed before him andproclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, aGod merciful and gracious, slow toanger, and abounding in steadfast loveand faithfulness,

God describes Himself as“A God who is slow to anger.”

Anger can be a very powerful emotion that can be used for constructive good.

3. WATCH YOUR

CLOCK.

“Do not let the sun go downon your anger.”

What it’s saying is, “Don’t let things extend or delay.”

4. WATCH YOUR

ENEMY.

“Give no opportunity to the devil.”

5. WATCH YOUR

HANDS.

“Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his hands, that he may have something to

share with anyone in need.”

“Watch your hands.” Do something constructive, not destructive. Do something

that helps others, doesn’t harm others.

6. WATCH YOUR

MOUTH.

“Let no corrupting talk comeout of your mouths.”

You say, “How do I know whether or not it’s corrupting?”

“It’s not about you getting your hurt out, but imparting grace to those who hear.”

“Put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth.”

Now, bitter people tend to rewrite, revise history.

THE CYCLE OF BITTERNESS

DIG UP THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS

HEBREWS 12:15

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace ofGod; that no “root of bitterness” springs up andcauses trouble, and by it many become defiled;

HOW TO BUILD A FIRE

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from

you, along with all malice.”

• Bitterness• Wrath• Anger• Clamor (protest)• Slander• Malice (desire to hurt someone)

Sometimes, hurt people like to hurt people.

FORGIVEN PEOPLE FORGIVE.

So, what do we do? Well, forgiven people forgive.

EPHESIANS 4:30,3230 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit ofGod, by whom you were sealed for the dayof redemption.32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,forgiving one another, as God in Christforgave you.

It takes a miracle for a bitter victim to forgive, and the name of the miracle is the

Holy Spirit. He is the one who will allow you, empower you, enable you to forgive.

BECAUSE GOD IN CHRIST FORGAVE

YOU

That’s the gospel. All of our sin is against God. The psalmist says this in

Psalm 51:4,

PSALM 51:44 “Against you only, Lord God, have Isinned…”

SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS IS:

1. Forgivenessis canceling a debt owed to you.

“I’m not going to make you pay. I’m going to let that go emotionally, relationally.”

2. Forgivenessis removing the control that the offender has over you. If you haven’t forgiven them, and

you’re bitter against them, then they still control you.

3. Forgivenessis giving a gift to yourself and to your

offender. You can move on. You can let go of some of the stress, some of the anxiety,

some of the haunting.

4. Forgiveness is forsaking revenge.

In Romans 12:19, God says, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” What you’re not saying

is, “I am sanctioning injustice,” but “I’m just leaving it in the hands of the perfect court,

with the perfect Judge.”

5. Forgivenessis leaving ultimate justice in God’s hands.Some of you love justice. You should. So

does God.

And justice either comes at the cross or in hell—where Jesus died in their place for

their sins, and they come to repentance or they don’t.

6. Forgivenessis an ongoing process.

You’ll forgive them once, but you may need to forgive them again because they do it

again, or maybe the hurt comes back afresh, and the old wound starts bleeding.

Jesus on forgiveness: Forgive them "seventy times seven“.

7. Forgivenessis wanting good for your offender.

You know that, ultimately, you’ve forgiven them when your hope is that they come to

the Lord Jesus and that their future is better than their past.

SEVEN THINGS FORGIVENESS IS

NOT:

1. Forgiveness is not denying that sin occurred or diminishing its evil.

2. Forgivenessis not enabling sin.

Your spouse is an addict or a thief or an abuser. It’s not enabling sin.

3. Forgivenessis not necessarily a response to an apology.

“They never said they’re sorry.” They may never say they’re sorry. They may never be

sorry. They may die without apologizing. They may have moved away. You may not even

know where they are.

4. Forgivenessis not covering up crimes committed

against us.

5. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

6. Forgiveness is not trust.

7. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

TWO QUESTIONS:

1. Who do you need to forgive?Because forgiven people forgive.

2. Who needs to forgive you?

Example: PaulStephen: "Lord, do not charge them

with this sin."