The Journal of Edinburgh & District Advanced Motorcyclists

In This Issue: Page 2: Word From The Chair & stuff

Page 3: Word From The Saddle

Page 4: Test Passes, For Sale, HC Quiz

Page 5: A novice On Test Day

Page 6: Safari Days & Starry Nights

Page 10:Christmas Toy Run details

25th November. Motorcycle Law Scotland will give a talk on legal services for motorcyclists. The Steading at 19.00. Events are notified on EDAM Facebook page: https://goo.gl/zyVD3q and the new, improved website: http://

It never ceases to amaze me how many cars are badly maintained, and this is just based on the faults that are visible when riding or driving. A blown sidelight bulb may be hard to notice, but a non-functioning headlamp can’t be missed, surely. And yet I see the same vehicles each evening, with the same faults. This makes me wonder about the drivers and their total lack of interest in their vehicles and, in some cases their standard of driving. To be honest, it scares me a little, especially in the dark, in the pouring rain and spray. How much tread is left on those tyres? When was that car last ser-viced? It’s a battle that will never be won. There aren’t the resources for education or en-forcement, so it’s up to the rest of us to make allowances, to anticipate and plan. It’s lucky that we all know how to do those things.

Winter months and darker nights also mean that our vehicles need to be fre-quently checked too. Not just your bike, of course, but the washer bottle in your car or the wipers on your van too. There I go again, all doom and gloom! Luckily, one of our regular and most elo-quent contributors has been on her trav-els again and allowed us to share the trip in an interesting and funny report. If you have been somewhere unusual or inter-esting, why not share the experience? There are a few events planned in the coming weeks, including the annual gath-ering for Christmas drinks. I hope to meet some of you there. Details on page 3 and on the EDAM website. I do try to attend the Christmas Toy Run (see Page 10). Glynn Jones editor@edam.org.uk

March 2017

TWISTGRIP NOVEMBER 2019

EVENTS

Previous PDF issues of TG are available

here: https://goo.gl/RXqQeb

March 2017

Yes, winter is approaching with the first signs of frost on the car windscreen and salt on the road. For me, it’s been a bit of a stop-start season as I have not been able to go on as many rides as I would have liked. Winter riding is on the agenda, though I usually find I'm pretty cold after a couple of hours on the bike at this time of year. I do need to get a heated vest. One for the Christmas stocking perhaps. If you have any experience on this type of equip-ment, a small article for Twistgrip might influence your fellow riders to get the cheque book out. Just email your offering to our Editor, Glynn. It's even more important at this time of year to make sure the bike is functioning correctly. Do your tyres have at least 2 to 3mm of tread left? The more the better. Are your brakes functioning correctly? Sticking pistons can become an issue with all that muck and salt on the road. Is your battery up to dealing with greater draw from heated gloves and vests? Time for you to do an enhanced level of BETOPS to make sure all is in order. If you are putting the bike off the road, keep the battery on trickle charge and con-sider siphoning off any petrol in your tank or using a fuel stabiliser. Although it's un-likely it will deteriorate over 3 months or so, it can exacerbate rusting and gunging up of components if you leave it lying idle for too long. If you haven’t drained the tank, you might consider starting the bike every three or four weeks to remove any condensation collecting in your exhaust and potentially residing elsewhere. [If you do this, make sure the engine and exhaust get hot, not just warm, or else you will create more condensation – Ed]. Take some advice if you are unsure what to do.

Watch out for that low sun and areas of the road that never get any sunlight in winter. There lie problems for us bikers, so be aware. Look ahead and plan. Our Observers continue on their merry way to get associates through to test, but they will be winding down soon, I guess. They deserve our congratulations for all the hard work they put in. As I mentioned last month, EDAM has offered Observer services to assist KOFG to clear the outstanding Associates they have on their books. We still await an update on when this will progress. It looks like it might be in the Spring now! I'll keep the relevant parties informed as soon as I hear. Finally, just a reminder that our next Com-mittee meeting is scheduled for 26th No-vember 7 for 730pm at the Steading. Safe riding and we will speak again soon.

It is always a gamble planning a bike run this late in the year, but a total of thirteen of us struck lucky on Saturday 12 October. Actual-ly, only eleven of us were present at the start, at 10 am on a mild, still day with quite a lot of sun. That turned out to be a bit problematic when riding through trees, but who is going to complain mid-October? With Vince leading and Alan as coo’s tail, we headed off east along the bypass and then down the A68. The roads were fine; decent surfaces, and no fallen leaves or mud; all three things unusual this late in the year. At Carfraemill we took the A697 almost to Coldstream and then headed across country to Kelso and Jedburgh, with a short spell on the A68 before turning off to Bonchester Bridge for lunch at the Horse and Hound. We appeared to be the only customers, but the kitchen served us a good lunch and re-markably quickly. There was good banter over lunch, perhaps a bit robust for some tastes. Two more EDAMers joined us at this point. Simon had an issue with an inconti-nent Scottoiler which had to be fixed, but it didn’t delay us as we set off back via Hawick (fuel stop), Selkirk, and the Yarrow Valley road. We then turned north along the single

-track road to Innerleithen. This is popular with bikers and on this day had a good surface; important when taking tight cor-ners, it means you have the full use of the road when meeting oncoming traffic. We will have to see if it survives the winter. After that, we went via Peebles to the Leadburn Inn where, again, we were near-ly the only customers. Two riders (not the same two) had left by this point, needing to get home. Everyone agreed it was a grand day out, the pace was moderately progressive but no more than that (fast rides are available in EDAM; the name of the ride leader gives it away). The drop-off system worked perfectly. Many thanks to Vince. A couple of notes from me. First, these rides can be planned at 3 days’ notice or so via Facebook, depending on the weath-er forecast, and any EDAM member can, and should, do so. And secondly, writing them up for Twistgrip can also be done by anyone, and should be, rather than leav-ing it to the same few scribblers. The difference in writing styles and perspec-tives is refreshing. It is polite to let the run leader know you are doing one so as to avoid multiple articles being submitted to editor@edam.org.uk.

Side scanning using gaps in hedges. Where there are gaps in hedges in coun-try roads, take the opportunity to look for and at any oncoming vehicles. This should help you assess: 1. The severity of the upcoming left

hand bend by the amount of the vehicle's side visible on initial sighting (in this clip a significant amount of car's side can be seen so upcoming bend is quite sharp)

2. The timing & road position of your approach to the bend, in case the oncoming vehicle apexes the bend. (a risk where oncoming vehicle reads the sharpness of bend incor-rectly)

https://youtu.be/zAc97fyMWBI Noting the amount of any oncoming vehi-cle's side you can see as it negotiates any more distant bend also allows you to as-sess the severity of this bend.

A WORD FROM THE CHAIR by Dave Alexander

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Vince’s run round the

Eastern Borders by Peter

Woollven

RIDING TIP by Elliot Beattie

Anything we can learn?

I have recently returned from a trip through Vietnam & Cambodia (by coach & plane). It was my first time in that part of the world and to say it is a culture shock is a bit of an understatement. There are vir-tually no what we would call ‘motorcycles’, but a few what we recognise as ‘scooters’. When I say a few, I mean that in Saigon (or more correctly these days, Ho Chi Minh City) 6 million scooters. I can now appreciate why Mr Honda does not see the bigger bikes as a priority, he sells more scooters in Saigon than all the bikes sold by all the marques in Europe. I had a look at the safety record for Vi-etnam, and the WHO suggest that it is a pretty dangerous place to be a motorist with 14,000 road deaths and about 60% being motorcycle deaths. So, you might think there is little we could learn from such a clearly backward country. However, we would be wrong to think that. The thing that has struck me most since coming back is that in the West, we are obsessed with rules and people obeying or ignoring them, rather than relying upon people treating each other with a degree of respect & patience. It is quite extraordinary what can be car-ried on the back of a C90; from the family of 4/5 to a full-sized fridge freezer in the rush hour. When I say rush hour, I do not mean an Edinburgh traffic backlog, I mean scooters 12 abreast for ¾ of a mile mixing it with pedestrians, cyclists (both on and off the pavements) going in either direc-tion on either lane. The one rule that they do seem to adhere to is they simply do not speed, it isn’t physically possible. Vehicles pass each other within one or perhaps two inches and no one gets re-motely stressed. There is simply no road rage, despite people pulling out on each other, exiting left from the right hand lane, exiting right from the left hand lane, stop-ping in the middle of the road for no ap-parent reason, using their phones on the

move and doing U-turns as and when they feel like it. To my western eyes it is simply unmitigated chaos. Helmets are compulsory, if you feel like it, registration is compulsory, if you can be bothered and traffic lights mean most people stop unless they really need to get somewhere. As a pedestrian, you can do your Tufty Club routine until you drop dead from boredom, or you can accept the best way to cross the road is to pretend you are blind and simply walk out into the traffic, which will then, by some miracle, simply drive around you – provided, you keep going. Do not stop, do not hesitate, do not step backwards, slow & steady gets you safely across a road, that in the West would have you under a bus. I visited several cities in Vietnam, travelling north to south, and they are all the same: chaos. But as pedestrian, it is remarkably safe, vehicles seek to avoid contact. Okay, some of the roads are really terrible. We drove through what was a road con-struction site and there seem to be little rules on drinking & driving. Not that the Vietnamese can afford to, but if the bikes were abandoned in favour of cars, the major cities in Vietnam would simply grind to a halt. Pavements are for parking scooters, there is very limited car parking available. The horn is used, not as a rebuke but simply to say, ‘I am here, take notice’. Cyclists make their way through this chaos, slowly and without interference. They do not ask for and do not get 1.5m of space, they simply get missed, just, and that is all that is required. No arm waving, shouting, demanding of space etc. Again, the traffic is slow but continuous. We had a bit of rain whilst I was there, and it was a bit warm (37 deg and 95% humidity – think of the tropical house as the botanic gardens and it is a bit warmer than that). The rain comes on suddenly and goes off suddenly but, from going on, you cannot see from one side of the road to the other. The preparation for riding in such weather con-sists of a plastic cape, which you may or may not be able to see out of. When it is dark, you may not have any visible lights and they would not assist in any event. The skills to learn: you must be able to ride to down to 1mph whilst surrounded by oth-ers without touching them and balancing 3 people on the bike & possibly a fridge and/

or holding 6 lengths of conduit in one hand. The skill set is something to behold. In Cambodia, most of the roads are dirt and every form of wildlife is wandering about – you do not really want to hit a water buffalo, they are quite sturdy. It is easy to see why, overall, they have such a poor accident rate but it is also easy to see what we could learn from them that would actually make a differ-ence here. In a word, ‘consideration’ for others. The ‘rules’ are less important than taking care to avoid contact with others and/or causing others distress. They do not do road rage, there is no point, and no one cares. We should not do road rage either. Being stupid and thoughtless is not a good way to operate. Rules are just something that someone made up. Apart-heid - that worked well, didn’t it? I wrote most of this before the news broke that a truckload of dead Vietnam-ese were found in the UK. I heard it on the news just after Jeremy Vine did his ‘what makes us human spot’ – the answer to which is: we are the only species on the planet that treats other members of the species as commodities from which to gain advantage, for no purpose other than money. So much for being civilised. Life would be

much simpler for all if we just got on with it and stopped seeking to justify why we are right and the other person is wrong, rather than just allowing them to be. If you cannot be a positive influence in someone’s life, then try not to be a nega-tive influence.

Safe riding

Here’s an early reminder about our annu-

al Christmas drinks gathering.

Venue: Alexander Graham Bell, 128

George St, Edinburgh, EH2 4JZ.

Date: 14th December from 19.30

Everyone welcome.

A WORD FROM THE SADDLE by Sandy Dickson

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EVENT

Congratulations go:

Mark Watson on passing his test with ex-aminer Lee Fisher. Observer: Steve Middle-ton Euan Clayton on passing his test with ex-aminer Ian Wightman. Observer: Ade Black. Ian Pemberton on passing his test with examiner Ian Wightman. Observer: Elliot Beattie Richard Thomson on passing his test with examiner Ian Wightman. Observer: Steve Thomson

EDAM has launched a new associate re-cruitment initiative. Pal-Pay will provide a £10 ‘finders fee’ to any full member or associate that successfully recruits a new associate. If you know of a person wanting to buy the Advanced Rider Course, contact the Mem-bership Secretary and let him have their contact details. When the person signs-up to the IAM course and is assigned to EDAM, you receive £10. membership@edam.org.uk This scheme will be reviewed in March 2020.

Being a member of EDAM and the IAM can

help you. If you have problems obtaining a

discount (after carefully reading the T&Cs)

please let us know. Also, be aware that the

best bargains may not be from the vendors

mentioned here so, as always, it can pay to

shop around.

IAM Roadsmart offers discounts to all

members and details are given on the IAM

website. You need to log in before the

discount page will appear. If you are

logged in, follow this link: https://goo.gl/

meChie

IAM discounts include savings on a range

of goods and services. Of particular inter-

est to motorcyclists would be: Helite

Airvests (10%), Visorcat (20%), Mo-

toScotland (10%), Bike-Seal (10%) &

RiderVision (10%). There is also a 15%

discount available at Bike Stop.

EDAM discounts include the following.

Please note that not all purchases will

receive the same level of discount. For

example, most bike shops don’t discount

tyres. This can vary from time-to-time

and dealer-to-dealer.

BikeSpeed UK in Broxburn: http://

www.bikespeeduk.com/ offer a 5% dis-

count at their store. For online orders

use code: EDAM05

Roddy Benzies at Get-2-Grips Advanced

Motorcycle Training offers EDAM mem-

bers a special price of £130 for a full

day’s one-to-one training, a significant

reduction from the normal £190. http://

www.get2grips.co.uk/home.html

Saltire Motorcycles, Edinburgh: https://

www.saltiremotorcycles.com/ offer 10%

discount on parts.

Two Wheels Honda/Triumph: http://

www.twowheels.co.uk/ offers 10% dis-

count on parts and clothing.

1. To negotiate a flood, you should: A) use 1st gear and low revs

B) use first gear and slip the clutch

C) use 3rd gear and cover the rear brake

D) use 1st gear, slip the clutch and blip the throttle

2. Aquaplaning is caused by:

A) excess speed and surface water

B) surface water and worn tyres

C) excess speed, surface water and brak-ing

D) excess speed, surface water and worn tyres

3. Which lane should you use on a dual carriageway after heavy snow once it has been snowploughed?

A) lane 1

B) lane 2

C) preferably lane 2

D) preferably lane 1

4. Black ice is formed by:

A) a long slow drop in temperature

B) a rapid drop in temperature

C) rain hitting a frozen surface

D) frozen water on dark tarmac

Answers on page 5.

Male BMW City 2 green/brown trousers with hip/knee protectors - Size: S. Inside leg 30in. Worn 10 days only. £40 ono

Female AKITA Python 2 black biking trou-sers - Size XL inside leg 33in. Worn 1 week. £10 ono (not shown)

Female Frank Thomas black/cream sum-mer biking jacket - Size XXXL. Worn 1 week (small stains on right sleeve). £40 ono

Please contact Sylvie Pelvilain Smith via Facbook, or email editor@edam.org with your contact details which will be passed on.

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TEST PASSES

EDAM PAL-PAY

DISCOUNTS

FOR SALE

HC Quiz by Sylvie Pelvilain Smith

I turned up an hour and a half early for fear of arriving late for a 3pm start. But that’s OK, I planned to have lunch at the Klondyke Garden Centre cafe where we were meeting in the car park to start. After lunch, I watched the previous candi-date come back and be debriefed. I went back into the cafe again, as I realised my mouth had run very dry, despite just hav-ing had lunch. I was terrified! After a glass of water; take two. Lee gave me the friendliest smile and warmest handshake on the planet. I think I managed to smile back. My mind was blank, and I didn’t even know what to say. He asked me for my disclaimer form and I had forgotten it! Oh no! Failed at the first post! Lee reassured me it was OK; he keeps a pack of spare forms in his top box. He unravels his plastic-wrapped bits of paper. I surmise I must have been the first candidate to have forgotten today, despite him saying this happens so he came prepared. I apologise profusely, now feeling ashamed on top of being nervous. The form signed, Lee asked about how things were going and why I decided to do the course - was it was for Blood Bikes or insurance? I just wanted to be a safe rid-er, and do it from the beginning so what I learn could be embedded as good habits. This was the first course I enrolled myself onto after passing my test and gotten used to my big bike. He asked what I’ve been up to today, whether I’ve come from work. I think he found it quite amusing when I said I had taken the day off as I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on other work worry-ing about my test. I inadvertently ended up telling him about my pre-flight check in the morning, when I discovered the front brake wires were not connected to the brake lights, and was surprised since my bike had just been fully serviced. It was an easy fix (thanks to my biker friend Claire for the pointers) but for a short while I was literally panic stricken, thinking that my bike wasn’t even road legal let alone being followed by a cop! I don’t know why I decided to tell Lee this and was internally chiding myself for letting on too much and almost expecting a reprimand in response. Instead, Lee smiled and asked me who did my service. When I told him, he said he knows a few of them there, so shall have a word on my behalf.

Oh, he’s on my side! I’ve decided the scary examiner is in fact a genuinely nice guy and meant well - but that still couldn’t quash my nerves, however friendly his demeanour. We talked about my bike. When he saw all the “war wounds” he asked if it was me or a previous owner. I frankly told him it was all me and that Hermes (my first big bike) was new to me as first owner and all the damage it sustained was due to me not knowing how to handle him properly. Internally, I’m both ashamed and proud of the marks, where they recorded our adventures together and lessons learned. Instead of being judgemen-tal, Lee was clearly just interested to find out about my riding experience. I’m not that experienced and have only done 9.5k on Hermes, so I’m a novice. I suspect that with one look at my riding, Lee could have answered all that himself. But he was doing his best to put me at ease. That, he was failing at, not because of him but because I have always had a deep-seated fear of any physical task-related ex-ams. Lee explained very clearly the examining criteria and route, which after two turns and the first roundabout I couldn’t honestly re-member, not knowing the area. I’m so very thankful that Peter (my observer) trained me on “follow the leader from behind” be-cause that is exactly what Lee did. We took off... when I found my hands and feet. I was so nervous I paddled out of the parking bay; all of a sudden forgetting how to ride. Concentrate. IPSGA. Let’s do my best now! The ride was exactly as Lee described, noth-ing particularly difficult about it, but being followed by one closely resembling the “Black Ninja”, and the lollipop lady at Polmont knows him and waved at him as we passed - it’s not just him, everyone is watch-ing, spying, in on the game... that was all the difficulty level that was required for me. Off our bikes, Lee shook my hand and con-gratulated me for passing - I heaved a sigh of relief, possibly quite visibly so. Yes, this Black Ninja is really actually a kind and friendly cop. It’s ok? Passed? Did I hear that right? Lee then gave me some feedback, what I missed and didn’t get quite right on the way, with general comments and encour-agement that I just need to keep practising. If he hadn’t told me I passed already, I would have thought that I had failed. With

those “terrible bits” of riding - which were only minor errors - I was still considered a safe rider in his book. I realise I am very critical of myself, but that’s what is keep-ing me alive - I have already saved myself twice from accidents on the road for real by using the knowledge and taken action based on what Peter has taught me on the course since starting IAM observed rides. Oh I passed! It took a while to sink in and I shared my mark sheet with Peter then and there. Peter has been so patient and encouraging on my rides throughout the course. I have learnt so much from him and he has prepared me well for the test. A mixture of relief and excitement proba-bly meant I should take my time before getting on the road again too, let’s not get run over straight after getting qualified! So standing there in the car park, waving Lee a happy goodbye, I was texting every-one the good news, partly to wake myself to the reality... before riding until sunset and a big smile on my face. It was nerve-wrecking at the time but now, looking back, it was a fantastic op-portunity to have had one of the very best in the country to observe me and give feedback on my ride. I should be honoured as well as freaked out... fear the Black Ninja!

Highway Code Rule 126 Always be able to stop in the distance you can see to be clear on your side of the road. A practical example from a recent EDAM run of where this rule applies. The oncoming car was helpful by giving head-lamp flashes, but as there is no safe alter-native run out area, you need to be able to at least slow very significantly before reaching the water. https://youtu.be/1IIiUZ_olRw Riding through a flooded section of road: keep engine revs up and speed down -

you don't know what might be hidden under the water.

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A Novice on Test Day by Glo Lo

HC Quiz Answers 1. D 2. A 3. A 4. C

RIDING TIP by Elliot Beattie

“Shhhh!” I whispered to Jane, “I think there is a baboon on the roof”. “Oh no! What if it’s at the bikes?” she re-plied quietly as my insurance excess flashed before my eyes. The thought of a baboon sitting on a BMW GS and going “vroom vroom” set us off gig-gling...”shhhh! It will hear us!” The sun was coming up over a chalet hut in Golden Gate safari park, high up in the mountains on the Lesotho border with South Africa. Our party had spent the pre-vious day riding out from Johannesburg on rented GS 750 motorbikes with our guide, Alex Jackson of Kaapstad Motorcycle Ad-venture Tours. On the first day of our tour we had already seen zebras, many impalas and several ostriches but, rather excitingly, we also saw a cobra! While riding along a dual carriageway there were often people walk-ing along the verges, going about their business. All of a sudden, a lad leapt six feet in the air and dashed out in front of Alex. He executed a perfect swerve avoid-ance and missed the lad by inches but, as we rode past, we all got a wonderful view of a bluey-green cobra rearing up out of the grass. The lad obviously fancied his chances on a 120kph dual carriageway rather than with the cobra. Thus was our introduction to riding in South Africa. There were three of us on the trip. My friend Jane, another lady called Liz, and myself. We are all members of the Curvy

Riders and Liz and I have both passed the IAM Advanced test. Alex was our guide for the duration of the tour. He was blissfully unaware of what the next ten days would hold for him accompanying three lady riders. Golden Gate was well named, set amongst golden rocks and mountains and numer-ous little golden birds had amused us in the evening as night fell and the stars came out. The African night was very noisy with frogs and baboons, but the night sky was glorious with a rising moon and mil-lions of stars. The Milky Way streaked across the sky and we were awe struck by the beauty revealed by the lack of light pollution which sadly exists in the UK. The camp had several warnings about the dangers of the baboons, so we secured

the chalet for the night and fell asleep to the cacophony of night sounds. After our rude awakening by the baboon, who thankfully had not been impressed by our motorbikes, we set off for our day’s ride. The route today would take us to Rourke’s Drift, the site of the 1879 Zulu battle. We were riding BMW GS 750 motorbikes. They were fairly basic rented bikes, but they were more than adequate for the purpose and were very nippy when need-ed. Although not fast performance bikes, they were perfectly suited for us to main-tain a steady pace to take in the scenery and they were very comfortable to ride for long periods. I was surprised by the number of speed cameras and traffic cops patrolling the roads and we strictly ad-hered to the speed limits. The roads were generally in good condition, certainly better than in Edinburgh! Later in the week we encountered some poorly main-tained roads, but this morning’s roads were well maintained and engineered. Alex was riding an impressive KTM 1250 Adventure which was ideal for his mileage and style of riding. Our route took us down through the mountains of Golden Gate. Drifting smoke from bush fires hung in the air and some-times obscured our vision but we enjoyed the sweeping bends whilst keeping a watch out for wildlife at the roadside. The temperature rose throughout the day, reaching 39 degrees, and we had a wel-come stop in Ladysmith for iced drinks after passing through the towns of Dun-dee and Glencoe. We saw signs for New-castle and almost felt at home ...39 de-grees in the UK! Wow! At lunch, Alex briefed us about the after-noon ride to Rourke’s Drift. We would

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Safari Days & Starry Nights by Carolyn Lamb

All set! Ready to go! © Carolyn Lamb

Dirt & dust at Rourke’s Drift © Carolyn Lamb

have our first ride on dirt roads and he advised us to stop and change the bikes into ‘enduro’ mode. The road was a typical rutted, stony hard-baked gravel road but the bikes coped well. Liz hit a patch of sand and had a buttock clenching wobble but recovered well and stayed upright. Now, they say that you learn something every day. On this day I learned that if you are riding on dusty African dirt roads that you must keep your visor firmly shut. If you don’t, your companions will laugh, point and take photos BEFORE they offer you a wet wipe to clean your dirty, dusty face. Rourke’s Drift was eerie and ghostly and whilst walking around the small museum I reflected on the futility of war and man’s inhumanity to man. We were walking on the deathbeds of hundreds of Zulu warri-ors and tens of British red coats. We paused at the beautiful monument to the Zulus which was a statue of a majestic leopard guarding their souls. The battle-field visit left us in a rather sombre mood as we left and continued on the dirt road to our hotel on the banks of the Buffalo River where the massacre had started. After dinner, Alex led us onto the hotel balcony to look at the stars again. He pointed out some constellations and showed us how to identify the Southern star. The darkness of the night highlighted the stars and again we gazed at the mil-lions of stars not normally visible and the soft cloud of the Milky Way. Soon, the temperature plunged and, shivering, we had to make our way indoors.

The frogs had begun making their nightly racket, so Jane and I retired to bed but were promptly wakened again by Liz, who had managed to lock herself out on her balcony. She bravely climbed over the balcony onto some snake and lizard infest-ed rocks, then had to climb back onto the balcony with the hotel owner like some modern-day Romeo and Juliet with a screwdriver to release the door. The next morning, Alex just shook his head in despair when we told him about Liz’s mishap. He was beginning to understand that looking after three Curvy Riders was going to be more fun than he imagined. Alex sprayed the bike chains in an effort to clean some of the dust, but he was losing the battle. The bikes and ourselves were gradually turning into a dull beige dust

colour and my lovely pale grey Rev’it jack-et turned muddy brown. Not to worry, it was all part of the adventure. We carried on along more dirt roads, sometimes with very poor visibility. The local trucks sped along, stirring up clouds of swirling dust which blanked my vision. I rode blindly through, trusting to the god of motorcycling that I would come safely out the other side. Emerging onto a tar-mac road, we stopped for a minute to clean visors, to drink away the dust and to change the bikes back to ‘road’ mode. Alex informed us of the day’s ride. The ride would take us into Swaziland along a disputed road. He explained that the lo-cals wanted a new road so in order to protest about the existing carriageway, they would block the way with trees and dig it up into potholes. To affect repairs, the potholes were uselessly filled with sand which then blew and spread across the road. We spent an enjoyable (not) hour playing ‘dodge-the-pothole’. The Swaziland border was a short check-point where we had to present our pass-ports and pay a small ‘road tax’ fee in order to ride our bikes in Swaziland. Crossing the border took us into some beautiful green mountain scenery and the difference was immediately noticeable between the two countries. Swaziland seemed better cared for and more pros-perous but shortly afterwards we were stopped by the police for a roadside check. They simply looked over our docu-ments and we were soon on our way again. That evening, we rode into Miliwane, the first of the big safari parks on our itiner-ary. This was so exciting! Maybe we

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Miliwane bikes & grass huts © Carolyn Lamb

This little piggy thieved the picnic! © Carolyn Lamb

would see the big 5! Dating to the time of the big game hunters, ‘the big 5’ nowadays refers to the sighting (not shooting thank-fully) of lions, buffalo, elephants, rhinocer-os and leopards. The accommodation at Miliwane consisted of little compounds of thatched grass huts. They were fascinating in their construction and astonishingly cool inside after the heat of the day. Warthogs grunted and roamed around and some of the animals wandered into the compounds, unafraid of the hu-mans. Warning notices implored us to ‘Beware of hippos, stay on lit paths’. Next day was a day off the bikes and we had the option to go for a horse ride in-stead. The other two ladies were both accomplished riders but me? Give me a motorbike going at 70mph any day! Horses

have teeth and a mind of their own, and no brakes or gears. How do you control it?! Against my better judgement I was persuaded to give it a go, and just like my first day doing a CBT, I relaxed and began to enjoy it. My gentle horse was called Vicky, and be-cause the wild animals were not scared of the horses we could ride very close to the wildlife. Vicky and I were so close to the zebra I could have stroked them. We were soon notching up the sightings of the ani-mals. We saw impala and kudu, wildebeest and monkeys, little guinea fowl skittered away from the hooves. We saw a huge crocodile basking on the banks of the lake, but we didn’t see any of the big 5. In the afternoon we visited a local tradi-tional village where we were entertained by traditional singing and dancing. We three women were simultaneously amused and horrified by the defence strat-egy employed by the villagers. The first hut

inside the stockade which invading ene-mies would encounter would be the hut where the young girls of age 6-16 would live. Their job was to delay the invaders until the village defences could be activat-ed by the big burly adult men. Umm...I don’t know what to say really! Interesting cultural differences. That evening, we sat out watching the stars as was becoming our nightly ritual, but finally the mosquitoes and din of the frogs drove us inside. Next day was to be one of the highlights of the trip! We were to be riding into Kruger Park. We were only the sixth party of mo-torbikes ever to be allowed into the park and later that day we would find out ex-actly why the bikes are generally not al-lowed. In the meantime, we had several hundred kilometres of riding through the

highlands of Swaziland. We stopped for a cool drink at the impressive Maguga dam hydro electric scheme and saw two fish eagles wheeling above the dam, but we couldn’t tarry long, we still had many miles to go. There are two aspects of motorcycling which are the same the world over. First, there is ‘small boy syndrome’. All small boys love motorbikes and the Swazi boys were no exception. They loved to wave to us and give the thumbs up as we sped past. The other syndrome is ‘target fixa-tion’, a familiar concept to us all; if you look at something, you will ride straight at it! Unfortunately for one of our number, both phenomena coincided. She was wav-ing at a crowd of small boys and simulta-neously target fixated on them. The bike careered off the road straight towards the wee boys who scattered like peas and gave her a cheer as she rode up the ditch

and back onto the road. Impressive off-roading, sister! Needless to say, we ribbed her mercilessly at the next stop but thank-fully no-one was hurt. Alex just shook his head in despair again. Next stop Kruger! I could barely contain my excitement. Alex has many skills. As well as being an expert biker and businessman, he is also a qualified tracker trained in wildlife conser-vation. He stopped us just before the en-trance to the park and explained that there was an elephant trail crossing the road just inside the gates. He would enter the park first and ensure the way was clear for us. We would follow at his signal, coasting down towards the river. We did exactly as directed and sure enough, as we drew up beside him, a huge elephant crossed the road twenty yards in front of us. We sat amazed as the elephant plodded past. Just as we were about to start our engines and ride on, the elephant sudden-ly wheeled around and started trum-peting, flapping its ears and charging to-wards us! Alex mouthed that well-known bikers’ prayer, “Oh f**k”, whilst I sat con-templating how quickly I could learn to do a u-turn and wondering if my death notice would say, ‘trampled to death by an ele-phant on a motorbike’. Alex drew his bike in front of us three women and was getting ready to make lots of noise when just as suddenly; the elephant lost interest in us, turned and ambled away. Alex apologised for swear-ing but we assured him that under the circumstances it was acceptable. Shaking, we rode over the rickety bridge over Crocodile River. ‘Great’, I thought, ‘survived the elephant, just to fall off into a crocodile infested river’. We were buzzing with adrenalin as we checked into our thatched huts for the day and chalked up the elephants as our first sighting of the big 5. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching hippos snorting and wallowing in the river then, as evening fell, we joined an organ-ised game drive. The sun was setting over the savannah, creating a low dusk light which was the best time to see the wild-life. The animal sightings came fast. We saw impala, antelope, wildebeest and the most beautiful tailed genet. We saw little mongooses (mongeese?) civet and vul-tures. And we saw lions, we saw a big-maned male and a whole pride of lioness-es with their cubs. But the greatest excite-

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Crocodile River - don’t fall in! © Carolyn Lamb

ment came when we saw a leopard! They are very elusive and even the park ranger was excited to see the big cat silently glide away into the bush. I wondered how any-one could look at all these beautiful crea-tures and think, ‘yes, I’d like to shoot that and put its stuffed head on my wall’. Now we had chalked up three of the big 5, just buffalo and rhinos to go! Our evening continued with a barbecue out in the bush, listening to the night sounds of the animals stealthily moving around and watching bats flit around the starry African sky. Next day I rose early and watched the ele-phants and hippos at the water’s edge, then we packed up and rode on to our next stop at Moholoholo. This is a privately-owned nature reserve and much smaller and less commercialised than Kruger. We rode into Moholoholo on another dirt road and were met near our accommodation by Jason, one of the wardens. He motioned Jane and me into our parking space under a shady canopy. Eeek! Too late, I realised I had just ridden into soft sand and hadn’t had time to warn Jane who rode up beside me. We were both stuck! We couldn’t get off the bikes, we couldn’t paddle them back and we were slowly sinking into the sand. Fits of giggles overcame us again as I plaintively shouted to Jason, “Help! HELP!” I squawked. Fortunately, he heard us and came to our rescue by placing a big stone under each of the side stands to allow us to dismount. Alex arrived to see what the commotion was about and gave us another of his des-pairing shakes of the head as we laughed at our predicament. Mololoholo was a lovely friendly place and we enjoyed a home-cooked meal that evening whilst chatting to Jason and the other staff. But after many days of heat and riding, exhaustion was creeping up on us all and Jane and I left to have an early night. The best laid plans o’ mice and men aft gang awry... or, in this case, it was a bush squirrel, in our chalet. There ensued a comedy sketch as we were under the beds with torches, (‘squeak’ said the squir-rel) up amongst the thatch (squeak!) we peered down between the floorboards (squeak!). Finally, the squirrel won the battle and we collapsed laughing and ex-hausted into our beds and left the wee critter to its own devices hoping it would-n’t poop in our panniers.

In the morning, I wandered out onto the veranda to have a coffee when, all of a sudden, the birds started sounding an alarm call. I looked round the side of the chalet and there was a huge giraffe peer-ing back at me! I shot back into the chalet and shook Jane awake. “Look! Look!” I spluttered as she blearily wakened up. Jane sat bolt upright as I pointed out the window and we both simultaneously breathed “Wow!” The giraffe was standing ten feet from our window and was having a good old look at us as we gazed back at him. He was com-pletely unperturbed and just stood there watching us. What an amazing experi-ence! Later in the day, we saw the fourth of our big 5 sightings as we were driven in a safa-ri truck by Jason, past the park’s buffalo herd. But no rhinoceros. The last of the big 5 was proving elusive. We left Moholoholo rather sadly as that was our last visit to a big game park and, in keeping with the mood, the weather changed for the worse. Riding up into the mountains, we entered the clouds. It was freezing! The clouds were so dense, we were soon soaked through. We were rid-ing in close convoy with numerous other vehicles and riding with hazard flashers on. Visibility reduced to a few yards and Alex gave us hi-vis vests to wear for safety. Almost like riding in Scotland really. The last night on the road was spent in the town of Dullstroom which is the highest town in South Africa. We had a pleasant

enough evening, but the mood was lower-ing towards the end of the holiday and we still hadn’t seen any rhinos. The next day was to be a rather boring motorway push back to Johannesburg so, with heavy hearts, we packed the panni-ers for the last time and loaded the bikes for Jo’burg and set off down the motor-way. After a couple of hours of steady motor-way riding, Alex slowed to pull us into a motorway service area. I was just thinking how much I had seen, that I had seen the best of South Africa but still no rhinos, when Alex started gesticulating wildly to the left! Rhinos! A whole herd of rhinos! We parked up in the motorway service area and ran up to watch the rhinos. They started ambling towards a small lake near the cafe to take a drink. There was a tiny little baby one which was feeding from its mum and a herd of adults. Oh, the excite-ment! We had seen the big five! Ten days without seeing a single rhino and nine come along at once! On the very last day of our vacation, at a motorway service station, we finally saw rhinoceros. What a fabulous end to our South African safari. Now that is a sight you don’t see at South-

waite!

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Rhinos at ’Southwaite’ © Carolyn Lamb

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