MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE GUIDE

Paul Oakenfold, Pierre Ravan, Bruno Mars, Metallica, The Pan-Arabia Enquirer and more…

Due DirtySouthBlue Marlin Ibiza UAE gets the electro-shock treatment!

Due DirtySouth

Feb 10 — Feb 24 2013 l Issue #193 l w

ww

.infusion.ae l EST 2005

From the Editor’s Desk

What’s your most memorable gig? One of my UAE highlights was Coldplay’s first gig at Emirates Palace, as they battled a spectacular thunder and lightning show, before appearing mid-gig in the middle of the audience for an impromptu acoustic show.

One of the most memorable for other reasons is the last ever Stone Roses gig at Reading 96 when, with John Squire having already left, and with the band spirit disintegrating by the second, they performed to a chorus of boos and dodging bottles of steaming piss, with Ian Brown impressively out of tune.

Thankfully, they’ve now reformed, and that low point can hopefully be laid to rest as one of the most important UK bands of their generation play live in Dubai this month, and I for one can’t wait!

Andy

Editor-in-chief:Talal Budebs

Managing Director:Charl Chakacharlchaka@infusion.ae

Editor:Andy Buchanandy@infusion.ae 055 882 5675

Sales Director:Vip PatelVip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712

Contributors:Benjie Mar JacoboGareth DaviesLisa SantMelissa BayikMiriam Sweeney Nthayi Tshehle Oliver AdamsPan-Arabia Enquirer

Design:Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay

Grown-up stuff:Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, llc. www.milehighmedia.aePO Box 53443 Dubai, UAE

Contact us:Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098

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THURSDAY 14 FEBRUARY 2013THURSDAY 14 FEBRUARY 2013

SASHASASHA

LookingBACKRetrospective on what’s been happening in our world.

> What we did

> Say What

> Photo Gallery

What we did

WE’VE DONE CLUBBING events, and we’ve done our fair share of corporate events over the years at Infusion, but very few have been as well put together, or quite frankly brilliant as the Tiger Translate event. First there was the venue: not some run of the mill club, nor even an Al Quoz warehouse – the Media One hotel carpark was put to amazing use, with some of the region’s finest artists daubing the rough walls in stunning graffiti. Then there was the choice of headliners: Pat Mahoney of DFA Records and LCD Soundsystem could always be trusted to bring a fresh sound to the city, and did so with a set that crossed rock, disco, house and more. But it was Seiji, ex of Bugz in the Attic, who stole the show, with a contemporary bass set that rocked from start to finish, showcasing the sounds of Disclosure, Jessie Ware and Julio Bashmore. Factor in a huge crowd of Dubai’s coolest kids, and more Tiger beer than you could shake a stick at, and you had one of the most memorable nights out in years.

TiGeR TRanSlaTe @ MEDIA CITy

Looking Back

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Looking Back

Does Kanye West still have the capacity to surprise? Judging by the reaction to his all white straight jacket he wore while performing ‘Heartless’ – not to mention the diamond-laced facemask that accompanied it – we’d say yes. That was one of the few surprises on the night however: West is a consummate performer, and displayed a showman’s verve as he played to a nearly-sold out crowd in Abu Dhabi. The big hits were all there – ‘Stronger’ was a mid-set highlight – and he gave the now obligatory hip hop shout out to Michael Jackson – before departing his winter wonderland stage just before the 2 hour mark.

Kanye WeST @ yAS ISLAND

you know it’s been a good night of rock when the band come back on stage for three encores. And that’s not to forget the surprise appearance by Alice Cooper who had the crowd going wild when he sang “School’s Out”. They weren’t the only classics on the night as several Guns’n’Roses hits were wheeled out, with Myles Kennedy an ideal replacement for Axl Rose. And Slash fans had made the pilgrimage from across the Gulf to watch their axe idol perform, and the half British/American star didn’t disappoint. Melissa Bayik

SlaSh @ DUBAI TENNIS STADIUM

For over a couple of years now, first in the form of Freshly Laced, and more recently via Deep Crates, Casa Latina’s Thursday nights have been a bastion of funk, soul, hip hop and generally ace music. The team behind Deep Crates have branched into several monthly Friday events, of which Drop Dread is their homage to all things dub, with reggae, dubstep and DnB all on the cards. And this event featured the UK’s Shepdog on headline duties, dropping a cross-genre set full of classics and his own mashups to the devoted Drop Dread crowd. If anyone’s looking for the antidote to Dubai’s bottle and VIP service crowd, it can be found right here.

The sign of a good night – albeit not for the people stuck outside – is when there’s a snaking queue of clubbers all feverishly trying to get onto the sand. The 3000+ people were there to catch one of the fast-rising men in dance music, Dutch EDM star Hardwell. And when the fresh-faced DJ dropped his own track ‘Spaceman’ to open proceedings, it’s fair to say the crowd lost it, swamping the DJ booth. And with a bolstered sound system and light show on offer, Nasimi turned back time and re-captured the raw energy it used to show week in, week out a couple of years ago. Welcome back…

DRoP DReaD @ CASA LATINA

haRDWell @ naSimi

Shoepidity: Wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes out just because they look good.

We normally look to the Pan-Arabia Enquirer for satire this good, but in this case the Iranian government have done it all themselves. On the left is the monkey they allegedly flew into space, and on the right is the monkey that returned. Only difference is that it’s an entirely different monkey. D’oh!

@ollyWoodUae So this is what its like to be on top of Rihanna #iTunesChartsCongrats to the Hollaphonic boys for storming to the top of the UAE iTunes chart.

The cost of a 30 second ad during the Superbowl was $3.5 million, or Dhs410,000 a second. Apparently there was also some sport either side of the Beyonce half time show and the ads…

Short and tweet

After all the furore of horse meat being found in Tesco burgers, Primark are in the spotlight this week with camel toe being found in all their leggings.

old Jokes home

Spot the difference: Say What

in numbers

Looking Back

Dancefloor dictionary

411

@People by Crystal

Drop Dread@Casa latina

@media oneTiger Translate presents Pat mahoney

Grand opening of ViP Room@JW marriott marquis

PURE MONSTER SOUND.

MONSTER MIDDLE EAST Tel: +971.4.883.04.05 Email: support@monsterme.com www.monstercable.com

LookingFORWARDWhere we filter out the best things that are coming your way...

> local news

> Cover Story

> Decks appeal

> Park life

> leader of the Trance

NOW WE’REROLLING!

Call 800 SUSHI or visit chezshushi.com

sho cho’s renowned sushi chef’s are now open for business. Design your own sushi and we’ll deliver it sharpish. Let’s Roll!

Eat or collect at our restaurant. Find us at Shop 18,Wasl Square, (opposite Safa Park) Al Wasl road, Dubai.

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Chez Sushi Now Rolling Infusion Ad 100x150.pdf 1 1/8/13 2:18 PM

Good news pop pickers: Bruno mars is heading to Dubai and playing at the Dubai Media City Amphitheatre on Friday april 12. He’s thankfully moved on from his oh-so-annoying grenade catching phase, and his most recent album – featuring some studio wizardry from Mark Ronson – is a pop masterclass, so we’re expecting an impressive show. Doneevents.com

There have been no shortage of new venues opening in the recent months – VIP Room and Music Hall the latest ventures – but if you’re looking for a more underground electronic fix, Trilogy’s Thursday night line up remains the one to beat. Their big booking for the month is Sasha, with the deep house and progressive don touching down on Valentine’s Day. But just as impressively they follow up with another Hacienda night on the 21st with Graeme Park headlining, before closing out the month with party-starting Belgium duo 2manyDJs.

Their previous Abu Dhabi show is still talked about in hushed tones, so it’s no surprise that Flash have re-booked metal titans metallica to play on yas Island on Friday april 19. Their show 18 months ago sold out, so we’d recommend getting tickets for their show now via thinkflash.ae.

Local newsmaRS VISITS DUBAI

TRiloGy LINE UP

meTal mayhem

Looking Forward

NOW WE’REROLLING!

Call 800 SUSHI or visit chezshushi.com

sho cho’s renowned sushi chef’s are now open for business. Design your own sushi and we’ll deliver it sharpish. Let’s Roll!

Eat or collect at our restaurant. Find us at Shop 18,Wasl Square, (opposite Safa Park) Al Wasl road, Dubai.

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Chez Sushi Now Rolling Infusion Ad 100x150.pdf 1 1/8/13 2:18 PM

Zero Dark Thirty. This could just be the film of the year...

Falling in love with Dubai again every Winter and Spring, it really can be a wonderful city.

New bars, clubs and lounges are springing up every week at the moment, there’s never been a better time for the barflys!

RUmoURSNoel Gallagher has confirmed he's playing a one-off Oasis classics show at Sandance beach on Friday March 15, more details in the next issue!

The Chill Out Festival has been postponed until October, with a new venue and concept in the pipeline.

Sting has confirmed he’s playing for Flash on yas Island on March 14.

A live show from Florence and the Machine could be on the horizon.

Constant weather updates at the hint of rain. We have eyes and can also feel when water is

dropping from the sky!

Spam. It tastes rubbish, and it’s even more annoying when it’s forcefed into your phone telling.you.about.the.same.event.every.30.minutes. Cease and desist.

DJs and promoters boasting they play hip hop, electro, RnB, house, mashups and more on a night. Apart from sounding absolutely hideous, is there anything you don’t play, douchebag?

Embassy nightclub for billing Danny Rampling as a celebrity DJ. Erm, he kinda helped make house music back in the 80s.

Looking Forward

Due ► ►►► Dirty South

The big names keep coming at Blue Marlin Ibiza UAE as Serbian born,

Australia raised hit-maker Dirty South touches down on Friday February 22. And in

preparation, we look at his career in numbers…

13 the age when Dragan Roganović AKA Dirty South, first started making mashups on his old school

Hi-Fi and tape decks.

2005 Dirty South released his first signed track, ‘Sleazy’, before releasing the

Dirty South EP a year later.

64 total number of tracks and mixes available to listen and download, via his Soundcloud link:

soundcloud.com/dirtysouth.

Due ► ►►► Dirty South

2 number of Grammy nominations, the first for

his remix of Kaskade’s ‘Sorry,’ and the second for his and Axwell’s rerub of The Temper Trap’s ‘Sweet Disposition.’

+50 the number of acts he’s remixed for,

including U2, Diddy, Josh Wink, Depeche Mode, Tiesto, David Guetta, Snoop Dogg and more.

1 the position his 2012 single with Alesso, ‘City Of Dreams’, reached

on the Beatport Top 100 in its first week of release.

4 number of tracks he’s produced for huge UK electro

rapper Example.

419,000 the combined total of his

Facebook and Twitter followers, facebook.com/DirtySouth and twitter.com/dirtysouth.

Dirty South, Friday February 22, Blue Marlin Ibiza UAE, Ghantoot, Restaurant 1-11pm, free before 5pm, Dhs120 after. Reservations: +971 56 1133400, @bluemarlinibiza-uae.com.

NTHAYI

TRISTAN

JUST LANCE

CHARL CHAKA

DEEP-AFRO-S

OUL-HOUSE

SAT, 2 &

16 F

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PRESENTS

www.jumeirah.com/360

DOORS OPEN 6PM – 3AM WITH UPSTAIRS CLOSING AT 2AM l 360°, JUMEIRAH BEACH HOTEL FREE ENTRANCE l +21 l ID REQUIRED TABLE BOOKINGS : 056 682 6617 l INFO@INFUSION.AE l MORE INFO : WWW.INFUSION.AE

TWITTER.COM/INFUSIONMAG l TWITTER.COM/360DUBAI FACEBOOK.COM/INFUSIONMAGAZINE l FACEBOOK.COM/360DUBAI

DECKS APPE LCelebrate Valentine’s Day with Infusion Magazine and three of

the best female DJs in town, Natalie Brogan, Sarah L

and Miss P.M.

how do you find the female DJ scene on this side of the world?NATAlIE: A split, the ones who are in it for the right reasons and the ones who are not. Pretty much like the rest of the

world!SARAh: Well I’ve only

been here a couple of months and it seems to be

fairly non-existent! I’m about to change all that!

MISS P.M: About 3 or 4 years ago, I was part of this group called 22.10

Female DJ Network that signed up female artists/DJs in the UAE. It was a great concept

by Louise Jones (DJ Lady Red Label), unfortunately, she had to move back to the UK and could not continue to manage us. Back then, she really worked hard to promote the group and get us involved in events. I think at the moment, there are quite a number of female DJs emerging in the scene and they play all sorts of genres of music. Unfortunately, since the time I started in 2009 until now, there really aren’t many who stood out or managed to break through the predominantly male DJing scene. It shouldn’t really matter whether

SARA

H

it’s a male or female DJ.

Perhaps there are perks of being a

female DJ here because it’s not very common to see.

I am quite happy to get the respect of my little underground community here as a techno/minimal techno DJ though.

What projects are you working on at the moment?NATAlIE: Studying Ableton, Reason & Maschine online with Manchester Midi School who I’m an ambassador for. I’m studying each week, recording a video diary and writing a blog following my progress. I’m also preparing for the pool party season where I’ll be playing around 4 a month from March till October!SARAh: I’m planning a solitary mission into space where I will recreate the “to be or not to be” scene from Hamlet.MISS P.M: At the moment, just trying to do as many DJ gigs as I can handle, experimenting with different sounds and styles.

Who would you like to see behind the deck this season in Dubai?NATAlIE: Audiowhores, Nice7, Him_self_Her, Joyce Muniz. Oh and Maceo Plex and Huxley as I missed them last time they were here.SARAh: Well I love Kolombo and he’s booked to play at 360

for audio tonic in March! Nice one boys!MISS P.M: I am dying to see Ellen Allien and Magda here in Dubai. They are my 2 favorite female DJs.

Sarah, first time you’ve played with infusion at 360. What can we expect from your set?Such an assault of bass that it’ll be enough to evaporate a child’s tears.

how would you describe your sound?NATAlIE: House and electronic uplifting sounds. Music with soul. For my daytime and beach residencies I play chill out, soulful and deep house. For my main sets I play Tech, big room and progressive. SARAh: Deep underground deliciousness.MISS P.M: My choice of genres are minimal techno, tech-house and techno. I am proud to be a

M

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.M.

NATALIE

part of the

underground scene (booked by promoters such as Glitch, Warped, Static and Ill Communications) for the past years that have been pushing minimal tech and techno here in the UAE. I really enjoy playing dark music that is kinda sexy and groovy. My boyfriend David Craig jokingly calls my music “evil but sexy”. Not many DJs play this kind of music here, so I’m happy to be a part of the niche and I prefer to stay that way. It’s good to be different.

Worst valentines experience to date?NATAlIE: Going to the cinema and my date snuggling up to my neck and trying to stroke my hand, anyone who knows me will know thats a big no for me anytime let alone on a date!SARAh: Probably this one, because nobody loves

me! (Flowers, gifts and declarations of love welcome at the DJ booth).MISS P.M: you remember that scene from the movie “Hitch” when Will Smith was on a date with Eva and he had a major allergy attack during a dinner date that made his whole face swollen? yes, I was attacked by an allergy during a Valentine’s date many moons ago and from then on, I was traumatized and never really celebrated it.

Infusion Magazine Valentine’s Experience, Thursday February @ 360, February 14 feat. Natalie Brogan, Miss P.M. and Sarah L, 6pm-3am, free entry.

NATALIE

Log on to www.infusion.ae or www.facebook.com/InfusionMagazine

THE WARMUP

P R E S E N T S

YOUR WEEKLY DJ SHOW, LIVE FROM

EVERY THURSDAY 4-6PM

Park lifeHe’s one of the most important men in the

Hacienda legacy, and after 30 years of DJing, one of the

best in the game. And he’ll be bringing that experience to

Trilogy on February 21, playing at an unofficial Stone Roses

after party

Welcome back to Dubai, you’re no stranger to the city – what are your memories of it?I have so many memories of Dubai because I’ve been visiting since the 90s and have seen so many changes. Too many to mention!

you’re playing the same night as The Stone Roses – have you met the band before, what history have you got with them? Loads of times. They used to hang out at The Haçienda and I’d always be bumping into them. Over the past few years our paths have crossed a few times too.

Which other hacienda/baggy band would you like to see reform? Northside. Maybe...

how hard is it to update the classic hacienda sound to make it relevant for today’s audience? I don’t think there is a Haçienda sound because it means different things to different people. To some it’s all about Joy Division, New Order and Factory Records. To others it’s acid house or Madchester or

some other genre or style. The club was open from 1982 to 1997 and appealed to so many different types of people and featured several DJs who played differing styles and genres over the years and it continues to appeal as a club brand. It was our thirtieth anniversary last year and we put on some great parties which were full of old faces and new. Each one was different and that’s the beauty of The Haçienda. It’s evolved since 1982 and it continues to do so. Check out my 7 hour set at the Haçienda Christmas party at Sankeys in Manchester to see how varied my set was. It really was an incredible night. you’ll find it under Music at thisisgraemepark.com.

you recorded an official hacienda mix recently – how hard was it paring down the tracks to include on it? Very difficult. I wanted to avoid the obvious, overplayed tracks that seem to appear on every other compilation (you know the ones) and dig out some forgotten but familiar tunes. I submitted a list of 150 tunes and went with the first 20 that got cleared. Thankfully Mike Pickering and Peter Hook chose completely different tracks from each other and from me, other wise it would have been even more difficult. I’m very proud and pleased with my final mix

which was recorded totally live and includes a lot of vinyl.

are there any stories about the club that haven’t been told yet? Hundreds, if not thousands. But most of them have been forgotten until people get together and reminisce. you wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve heard over the years. But here is not the place to tell.

Would you play any Stone Roses originals or remixes in your set? “Fools Gold” 12” is always in my box, but that doesn’t mean I’ll play it.

and what can people look forward from your set? A variety of great club tunes from the past and present. If I’ve learned one thing from almost 30 years as a DJ, it’s not to plan ahead too much. you just don’t know what the crowd will be like and they’re the ones you have to play to. One thing I do know is that all of the Stone Roses aftershow parties I did last year were incredible and each one was completely different. If I know Dubai (and I think I do) then I’m sure this one will be right up there too. I can’t wait!

Hacienda feat. Graeme Park, Trilogy, Thursday February 21, 10pm-3am, Dhs100. thisisgraemepark.com

15 FEB, 2013PRESENTS

RestauRant houRs from 1pm to 11pmSAfEtY DrIVEr SErVICE AVAILABLE, BooK It NoW!

oUr rESIDENtS FRedeRick stone | Jean B

MiGueL caMPBeLL

CAMPBELLMIGUEL

AUDIOVISUAL SPECIAL EFFECTS

SHOWCASE

22 FEB, 2013PRESENTS

FRee entRance BEforE 5pm | aed 120 AftEr 5pmRestauRant houRs from 1pm to 11pm

SAfEtY DrIVEr SErVICE AVAILABLE, BooK It NoW!

oUr rESIDENtS FRedeRick stone | Jean BdiRty south

www.DirtySouth.comfacebook.com/DirtySouthtwitter.com/DirtySouthyoutube.com/DirtySouth

He’s one of the most important men in dance music, having helped spark the house music revolution in the 80s, and continued on to become a global star.

And this month, Paul Oakenfold returns to Dubai for what’s sure to be another sold out show…

Leader of the trAnCeWelcome back to Dubai, what have your past experiences been like? I’ve always had a great time in Dubai. The people, the vibe, the temperature – it’s a great place to be.

you’re only 3 hours away from Goa when you’re here (which played a big part in your original sound), will you be taking it in while you’re here? I’m looking into going back to India, including Goa for a tour in possibly December of this year. you’re playing a las Vegas-style pool club this time in Dubai, do you have a preferred club style (beach, small and dark, festival etc)? I like playing all kinds of different styled events – from trance raves in the desert or dark clubs to celebrity parties or even the shows I just did

warming up for Madonna on her MDNA tour. I like all sides of what I do. Being flexible and adaptable according to who you are playing for keeps things fresh.

you’ve had a varied career – from early house innovator to pop producer to movie soundtracker. What’s the next step in the journey?

At the moment I’m focused on touring and my artist album. I think last year I did about 220 shows and this year looks like it will be just as full on. I’m loving alternating between being on the road and being in the studio. My artist album is called Pop Killer – it will be out this year on Sony.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given in your career? Be original.

What sort of music/styles are you playing in your sets at the moment? All styles – it’s more about great melodies and great songs than genre loyalty.

you were one of the biggest Djs in the 90s when the ‘superstar Djs’ were at their biggest – what was your biggest excess during that period? Air miles.

and what’s in store for your Dubai show? Peak time melodic dancefloor energy.

Paul Oakenfold plays REHAB @ XL Beach Club, Friday February 22.

SARAH LAWRENCEMS P.M.NATALIE BROGANTHURSDAY14FEB20136PM–3AM

TWITTER.COM/INFUSIONMAG l TWITTER.COM/360DUBAI

www.jumeirah.com/360

A VALENTINE’S EXPERIENCE TO REMEMBER

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DOORS OPEN 6PM – 3AM WITH UPSTAIRS CLOSING AT 2AM l 360°, JUMEIRAH BEACH HOTEL l FREE ENTRANCE l +21 ID REQUIRED l TABLE BOOKINGS : 056 682 6617MORE INFO : WWW.INFUSION.AE l INFO@INFUSION.AE l WWW.360DUBAI.COM

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ON THE RADARON THE RADAR80s Rewind, festival City, Mar 1

Andy Smith, Deep Crates, March 14

Noel Gallagher, sandance

Beach, March 15

Yanni, trade Centre, april 4

Comic Con, Marina, april 5

Bruno Mars, Media City, april 12

Metallica, du arena, april 19

Justin Beiber, 7s stadium, May 4

We’ve tweaked the listings, and give one-off events preference. For a full list of what’s on, please head to infusion.ae. Please submit your listings to andy@infusion.ae for possible inclusion.

sunday 10

inFUSion PiCK CIRQUE DE SOLEIL, WORLD TRADE CENTRE The amazing circus returns to town, this time with the Dralion theme. 10pm, tickets from Dhs295. Repeated nightly until February 16

Monday 11maniC monDayS,ZinC Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pm-midnight happy hour. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.

RnB anThemS, SenSaTion Dev Master and DJ Badir are joined by MC Money Plus at this Urban weekly. 10.30pm-3am, buy-one get one free bottles all night.

inDUSTRy niGhT FeaT. TUJamo, Xl BeaCh ClUB A night for all the bar, club and restaurant staff in town, with drink deals and music from resident DJs, and guest Tujamo. 10pm-3am, ladies free, men Dhs50.

tuesday 12B:lUSh, meDia one 4 free drinks for ladies, with Da Sendri dropping funk, soul, disco and house. 7-10pm, free.

BaRaSTi Hugely popular ladies night, with a Dhs50 entrance fee getting you free flowing bubbly all night. 6pm-late, Dhs50.

BeaUTy anD The BeaTS, RaRe Popular urban mid-weeker brought to you by the No.1 Team. 10pm-3am.

en VoGUe, aRmani PRiVe Darko De Jan takes control of this high class ladies night, with complimentary mojitos until 1am for ladies. 10pm-3am.

hoUSe oF maDneSSXS ClUB • loUnGe(ChelSea PlaZa hoTel – FoRmeR RyDGeS hoTel)Snow Monkey goes deep in the mix with groovy beats from DJ FreezC and Jmaxlolo. Every Tuesday with great FnB deals till 12am.

inFUSion PiCK! LUxURE, VIP ROOM (JW MARRIOTT MARQUIS, BUSINESS BAy) Hip hop, funk, house and dancehall at this brand new exclusive venue. 11pm-3am.

Shine, The mUSiC Room Live music from one of the best local bands, with drink deals all night. 8pm-late.

UBeR TUeSDayS, Sho ChoMarkii, Mike Daniels and more hold it down with deep house. Weekly.

Wednesday 13DiamonD WeDneSDayS, BoUDoiR Radio 1’s Brooklyn and DJ Shero on the urban soundtrack, with free Diamond cocktails for ladies until 1am. 9pm-late. Weekly.

GoSSiP, DeK on 8, meDia one Free flowing cocktails from 8-11pm, with Shaun Somoro DJing at the newly refurbished venue. 8-11pm, Free.

laUGhTeR FaCToRy, ZinC3 more international comedians dish out the giggles. 8pm, Dhs140.

minGle, leFT BanK (SoUq al BahaR & maDinaT JUmeiRah) Dhs5 cocktails for ladies (no, really) from 8pm-late.

ReTRo, RoCKBoTTom TeCom Retro tunes all night from the live band, Ovaload, with free vodka for ladies from 9pm-1am. 9pm-3am.

The UlTimaTe laDieS niGhT, ZinC One of the most popular ladies nights in town, with free bubbly for ladies before 1am, and house, electro and hip hop. 10pm-late. Weekly. Ladies free, men Dhs75 after midnight.

PARTY GUIDE

thursday 14aleX miCa, aRmani PRiVe Romanian house/pop star Alex Mica plays live at this Valentine’s Day themed party. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

BoUDoiR Free shots for ladies until 1am, and commercial RnB and house. 10pm-3am. Weekly. Conan manCheSTeR, loCa Foot-tapping funk, soul and rock and roll from Conan at one of our favourite bars in town. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

DeeP CRaTeS, CaSa laTina Popular vinyl-friendly hip hop, funk and soul night led by DJ Lobito. 10pm-3am, free, free wine for ladies 10-12.

one RePUBliC, FeSTiVal CiTy The American pop band are the first ‘jazz’ band out of the gates at this year’s festival. 6pm, Dhs295.

hoUSe PaRTy, RaRe Masterstepz drops the house party jams, covering hip hop, RnB, funky and more. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

laUGhTeR FaCToRy, GRanD milleniUm3 more international comedians dish out the giggles. 8pm, Dhs140.

i2, haBTooR GRanD Cheesy but fun 80s and 90s anthems from start to sweaty finish. 10pm-3am. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

ill CommUniCaTionS, n’DUlGe House on the terrace, and urban in the main room at this rejuvenated club. 10pm-3am, Dhs120, ladies free before midnight.

JamRoCK, SUBlime Reggae and Caribbean vibes from a revolving roster of Dubai’s best urban DJs. 9pm-3am, ladies free before 12am. Weekly.

laDieS FiRST, BlenDS 4 hours of free Cosmos, and properly fun classic mix from Patrick Pereira. 8pm-3am free. Weekly.

inFUSion maGaZine ValenTine’S eXPeRienCe, 360 Deep tech house upstairs courtesy of the all female line including Natalie Brogan, Sarah L and Miss P.M. 6pm-3am, free.

PUlSe, moVenPiCK (BUR DUBai) Energetic house and crossover tunes at this popular club. 10pm-3am, ladies free. Weekly.

RePUBliqUe, The aDDReSS, DUBai mall Alternative party anthems at this perma-packed downtown club. 10pm-3am. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

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PARTY GUIDEinFUSion PiCK! SASHA, TRILOGy Another sell out at Trilogy as the deep, progressive house champion Sasha returns. 10pm-3am, Dhs150.

WhaT Da FUnK, Chameleon Deep to commercial house soundtrack with resident DJ Stu Laurie. 10pm-3am.

friday 153 DooRS DoWn, FeSTiVal CiTy More pop-rock at this year’s Jazz Festival. 6pm, Dhs295.

aUDio ToniC, 360audio tonic house grooves

from the residents across both dancefloors. 4pm-3am, guestlist only via platinumlist.ae between 4-8pm.

BPm BeaCh PaRTy, al maya Funky and deep house at this all day beach party featuring Stew Magoo and Chadphunk. 1pm-late, Dhs100.

BRUnCh BeaT SeSSion, BahRi BaR Ambient and chilled out grooves from Jeli Maniago. 4-8pm. Weekly.

CaFe Del maR, meyDan Sunset to commercial house at the newly launched JBR venue, with Pierre Ravan in charge of sunsets. 12midday-3am. Weekly.

ConnoiSSeUR, VelVeT UnDeRGRoUnD Sophisticated urban soundtrack. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

FReaKS anD BeaTS, CiRqUe DU SoiR Virgin’s Kris Fade heads up this weekly night, where entertainment is at the fore. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

FlooRPlay,XS ClUB • loUnGe(ChelSea PlaZa hoTel FoRmeR RyDGeS hoTel)Floorplay by Jmaxlolo has a new playground. Great FnB and Ladies Night deals till 12am

PART

Y GU

IDE

inFUSion PiCK! MIGUEL CAMPBELL, BLUE MARLIN Funk laced house from the Hot Creations star and the DJ behind ‘Something Special’. 1pm-11pm, guestlist only reservation@bluemarlinibiza-uae.com.

no.1 FRiDayS, RiXoS Following their move from N’Dulge, No.1 Fridays host their weekly urban thrown down at the Rixos beach club. 10.30pm-3am, ladies free before midnight, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

TRiloGy FRiDayS Desi and crossover in the main room, with commercial hip hop on the rooftop. 10pm-3am, Dhs130. Weekly.

saturday 16411, PeoPle By CRySTal It’s the UV light party with DJ Bliss and Shef Codes in charge of the urban tunes. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

CaFe Del maRFeaT, meyDan BeaCh ClUB Part two of the Café Del Mar weekend, with Pierre Ravan on sunset duties. 12midday-3am. Weekly.

DeSTinaTion, ZinC UK Garage, Funky house and urban with Richie D and Mister Ash. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

enTRa mi CaSa, 360 Deep house and Afro rhythms from Charl Chaka, Nthayi and more. 5pm-3am.

SaTURDay BRUnCh, BlUe maRlin Weekly chilled out brunch, with funk, soul and disco on the decks. 1-5.30pm, Dhs240.

Monday 18FaBleS oF CannT, The FRiDGe The latest Indie Rock band of Dubai, finalist in Rolling Stone Middle East’s 2012 Street to Stage competition, takes The Fridge stage with new songs of their second upcoming album. 8pm, Dhs50.

thursday 21

inFUSion PiCK! DEEP PURPLE, FESTIVAL CITy Prog rock of the finest order as the ‘Smoke On The Water’ stars play live. 6pm, Dhs295.

PARTY GUIDEGRaeme PaRK, TRiloGy The Hacienda legend plays at one of the Stone Roses after parties. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

ill CommUniCaTionS, n’DUlGe Deep/tech house on the terrace, with Dany Neville on urban duties in the main room. 10pm-3am, Dhs120, ladies free before midnight.

inFUSion PiCK! STONE ROSES, DUBAI MEDIA CITy The reformed UK four piece behind ‘Fools Gold’ make their full Middle Eastern debut. 7pm-late, Dhs295.

friday 22

inFUSion PiCK!AUDIO TONIC FEAT. MARIO BASANOV 360Melodic electro and deep house from the highly respected Lithuanian DJ and producer. 4pm-3am, guestlist only 4-8pm via platinumlist.ae, free all night.

DiRTy SoUTh, BlUe maRlin iBiZa Uae Electro and tech house from the big-name Australian DJ who’s remixed for Snoop Dogg and more. 1pm-11pm, guestlist only reservation@bluemarlinibiza-uae.com.

no.1 FRiDayS, RiXoS Urban, garage, hip hop, funky house and more from the long-running weekly night.

10.30pm-3am, ladies free before midnight, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

inFUSion PiCK! PAUL OAKENFOLD, xL BEACH CLUB The UK house star and one of the biggest names in the dance music industry plays a trance-meets-electro set. 12pm-3am.

The SCRiPT, FeSTiVal CiTy The final note of the Jazz festival features American piano pop rockers The Script. 6pm, Dhs295.

saturday 23411, PeoPle By CRySTal Mixed up urban tunes at this high end, and always busy Saturday night party, with Shef Codes and DJ Bliss. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

aUDio ToniC PReSenTS SaTURDay ShoWCaSe, 360Deep, tech house vibes upstairs, with a selection of some of Dubai’s finest guest DJs. 5pm-3am, free.

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Look AnDLISTENmusic be the food of love, so read on...

> music news

> album Reviews

> DJ Booth

> DJ Top 10

Music news...New Order bass player Peter Hook paid tribute to Arthur Baker this week, singling out the legendary New york producer as being the key man behind New Order’s unique and pioneering electro-disco sound. “His attitude to writing dance music was like a punk writing punk. Very adventurous, off the wall, anything goes,” Hooky told the Guardian.

“I like the modern versions of him too – Calvin Harris, Soulwax, David Guetta,” he continued, “My dream for the 30th anniversary of Blue Monday [later this year] is for them all to do a mad commercial remix of it.” In the same interview he revealed that he considers his new passion DJing as being ‘much harder than playing your own music, as you’ve got to win over people every single night’, reflecting a similar Damescene conversion he told Infusion about last year in another conversation about Blue Monday. “When I was first approached by Greg Wilson to remix Blue Monday in 1983, I threatened to chin (punch) him in my outrage,” he laughed, “Now of course I realise that they can be useful, fun and innovative.” He also admitted to being surprisingly ambiguous about the 1983 track which remains New Order’s most popular commercial release. “To be truthful I had no idea of how special it was when we created it, It was never one of my favourite New Order songs,” he recalled. “I always much preferred the B-side ‘Thieves Like Us’. I knew Blue Monday sounded good but I wasn’t really in awe of it. Don’t forget we were recording (New Order album) ‘Power Corruption and Lies’ at the time. I liked KW1 (late retitled your Silent Face’ the best,” he admitted.

PETER HOOK’S BLUE monDay DReam

mUSiC BiTeSWe’ve been standing under all of the showers and drinking water but it’s so expensive - $4.50 a bottle. When it rained for just a bit, that was awesome but otherwise waiting more than two hours without going under the showers is death

Australian raver Brittany Markey, 18, complains about the heat at Big Day Out after the country was struck by record breaking hot tem-peratures over 45ºC.

Look and listen

Summer festivals are being announced earlier and earlier these days it seems, not that we’re arguing though as it just gives us longer to be excited. First up was American festival Coachella which sold out within 15 minutes, leaving thousands without tickets. The lucky

few who did get tickets will be witnessing one of the great line ups though, as Blur (pictured), The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Stone Roses, Lou Reed, Wu Tang Clan and Jurassic 5 are all confirmed. A little nearer to Dubai, and the Primavera line up was revealed, with one of the most alternative line ups we’ve seen. Held in Barcelona in the middle of May, it also includes Blur and Wu Tang alongside My Bloody Valentine, Hot Chip, Postal Service, The Breeders and more. Tickets are on sale now at 160 Euros from primaverasound.com.

FeSTiVal FeVeR

Don’t worry if you didn’t get a Glastonbury ticket this year as the next best thing (well, almost) is at hand as the BBC have said they’ll stream this year’s festival live for the first time. Viewers will be able to choose which stage they watch in real time, and it comes with the added advantage of avoiding trenchfoot and monged-out festival goers as well.

A thief from Justin martin’s inner circle stole both his Iphone and a USB stick at a gig, this week, provoking the Dirty Bird producer to launch a furious tirade on Twitter. “wow.... the booth is no longer sacred.. got my iPhone and thumbdrive (USB stick) stolen right from under my nose tonight. i cant believe it,” said Justin moments after the theft. As fans and fellow DJs responded with support he then activated the phone’s anti-theft tracking device making a chilling discovery. “I tracked my phone down using the “find my phone” app!!!” he revealed, “which means the thief was one of 15 people who went to the after party.”

GlaSTonBURy LIVE

DIRTy BIRD DJ’S iPhone STOLEN FROM BOOTH

Look and listen

Album Reviews...SELLING SPIRITUALITy in Dubai isn’t the easiest task. In a city that’s as frantic and fast paced as Crank – but populated by more bad-tempered taxi drivers – billing yourself as a deep house spiritual DJ can raise some eyebrows. But with the 7th installment of Pierre Ravan’s KaRavan, he’s once again created a compilation that carefully balances dance music’s beating heart, with emotive, melodic tracks that simmer and shimmer in the Arabian heat. Titled Deep and Deeper Love, both CDs showcase local talent, with Sansa, Nasrawi and Medhi combining for the pad-heavy ‘Dub Doubt’, while a few Pierre originals appear, alongside an audio tonic record. Elsewhere though, Pierre has his finger firmly on the pulse, with cuts from Deetron, Ben Westbeech, Danny Daze, Till Von Sein and Uner all included, making this a who’s who of the deep house world. Impeccably mixed, and shot through with organic melodies, this is dance music from the heart.

Andy Buchan

PieRRe RaVan – l.o.V.e

Look and listen

THE DUTCH UNCLES are neither uncles, nor Dutch, but don’t let that get in the way of a unique name. They’re a 5 piece indie band from Manchester, who like fellow Mancunians Everything Everything, make accessible art rock. But where EE ramp up the electronics (check out their newly released second album ARC, it’s ace), DU head down the wonky pop route, with algebraic guitars and fluorescent strings to the fore. Lead single ‘Fester’ is an excellent starting point, all Two Door Cinema Club vocals and angular bass notes to start, before it flourishes into a driving, striving pop song. And it’s this in-song transformation that defines the album, as each track grows and gets fully explored. Stop start rhythms add to the dynamics, while tracks like ‘Flexxin’ are so musical and upbeat they make you smile like a simpleton. And that’s what good pop music should do: that the Dutch Uncles have done it so skillfully and cleverly, is a bonus. Andy Buchan

DUTCh UnCleS – oUT oF ToUCh in The WilD

alBUm BiTeSRoDRiGUeZ – ColD FaCT Fact is often stranger than fiction, and so too is this story. Detroit act Rodriguez is billed as the next Dylan in America in the 70s, but his album flops selling literally dozens. In South Africa, it’s a different story as he becomes ‘bigger than Elvis’ as one music journalist proclaims. But despite selling hundreds of thousands of albums halfway across the world, he never saw a penny, until a devoted band of followers dug deep and followed his trail. Several sold out shows and an award-winning documentary called Searching For Sugarman later, and the world is finally discovering this lost classic, as counter culture lyrics are balanced by waltzing 60s harmonies and psychedelic touches. Better than Dylan, and we don’t say that lightly.

The CRaiG ChaRleS FUnK anD SoUl ClUB He might be the leering joker from Red Dwarf, but Craig Charles is also a funk and soul DJ of some repute, with a weekly show on BBC 6 Music, and a talent for unearthing hidden gems from the last 50 years. And this 19-track compilation is an excellent introduction to his skills, ably blending brand new covers (The White Stripes and Rage Against The Machine are given a funk makeover), alongside long lost funk staples (The Bamboos) and stone cold classics (Al Wilson and Prince Fatty).

Look and listen

MUSIC THAT MATTERSSEND TRACKS/EDITS/REMIxES TO ANDy@INFUSION.AE

Kruse & nuernberg – The Carrier (audio tonic) Mid-set deep house with an impressive bassline rumble from the German duo. soundcloud.com/audiotonic

Jason Kabuki – Winter lounge Expertly constructed chill out set, that rises towards a Samba/Latino climax. soundcloud.com/jasonkabuki

adam Warped – Jan 2013 Something of a departure from Warped’s usual techno roots, with Adam heading into downtempo deep house territory.soundcloud.com/adam-warped

Uber haus – Groove RepublicLive two hour deep, twisted tech set recorded live at Beirut’s best new club. soundcloud.com/uberhaus

hollaphonic feat Shaduno – i Don’t Want it To endBig, brash, bold EDM from the Dubai duo of Greg Stainer and Olly Wood. facebook.com/Hollaphonic

She’s the popular German born female DJ in Dubai with nearly a million Facebook fans…

DJ

Bo

oth

: Sab

rina

Tere

nce

one thing you might not know about me is... If Facebook would pay me for all the time I spent on it, I would be a billionaire.

my favourite ever record is... ‘Show Me Love,’ any good remix of it, people will still love it in years.

DJing is much like... Driving a rollercoaster, you never know how it goes. I love this job, it’s my passion. In the last 2 years, I’ve opened my music genre a bit, because I still believe as a DJ it’s not about what I like to hear only, it’s about the crowd. That’s why I became a DJ. There are many DJs who stick with just one style which is absolutely fine, if they have their followers or nights where it’s working, cool. I like all kind of house from deep/tech/funky and progressive.

i’m really proud of... Being a DJ for 4 years, my first gig was in 2008 in New Asia in Raffles and I’m still thankful to the guys.

if i could change one thing about anything it would be... To delete the word “commercial,” it’s overrated now and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter: call it house, call it RnB, call it trance it’s all electronic music. What makes the crowd happy is important.

i can’t live without... Headphones, my friends, coffee, my Macbook and my music.

my biggest DJ achievement to date is.... 5 different hard drives and some vinyl in Germany. I wish they were not so heavy to travel with, but the new DJ life is definitely not about CDs or vinyl anymore...

if you could DJ in any decade which would it be...The 70s and 80s and especially in the US, all that glamour in Studio 54! I envy all the DJs who are into 80s music so much.

if i could go back-to-back with any other DJ it would be... There are a few, but maybe Carl Cox would be fun or Erick Morillo in Ibiza.

facebook.com/djsabrinaterence

Sir TazUrbanite @ Zinc, Jamrock @ Sublime

Firat Radi White X Beach & lounge

Sarah L

Jack WoodcockSunstroke, sunstroke.ae

1. Hot Since 82 - Knee Deep in Louise (Original Mix) 2. Duke Dumont - Street Walker (Original Mix) 3. Rob Made - Made you Love Me (Original Mix) 4. JOBE - Something About Disco [The Underground]5. Amine edge & DANCE - Pop 60 (Original Mix) 6. H2 - Deeper Touch (Feat. yemi Bolatiwa) 7. Hollis P. Monroe - I'm Lonely (Larse Remix) [NOIR Music]8. Sishi Roche - Them Ugly Hoe's (JOBE Remix) 9. Junior Jack - My Feeling (Hector Couto 909 Edit) [[PIAS] 10. Dale Howard - Questions (Original Mix) [TheUnderground]

1. Cooly's Hot Box - Friend Of Mine (Rob Hayes Club Edit) 2. Sonny Fondera & Danny Kane feat. Jacqui George

3. Random Soul – Hooked Upon you Love 4. Mr Jools - I Love you More (Origional Mix) 5. Christian Alvarez feat Marck Jamz – Only you [CDR]6. Kris Menace, Stars On 33 - LUV (Original Mix) [Pschent]7. ATFC feat. Inaya Day – Reach Out To Me (Soul Avengerz

Remix) [Conkrete Digital]8. Groove Kings – Soul Heaven (Rob Hayes Disco Dub)9. MAM - Happyness (Original) [Nice To Be Records]10. Rob Love - Someone Like you (Original Mix)

1. Cris Cab feat. Kid Ink – What Can We Do (Here We Go Again Remix)

2. Dubnetikz feat. Karl Wolf – Finally Free (Remix)3. Neyo – Miss Right4. Future – Straight Up5. KRS – One6. T.I – I Need Dollas7. E–40 – Function8. Sean Paul – Nuh Bodda Wid Dem9. BLEMZ – A We She10. Faith Evans – Lovin Me

1. Chris Malinchak - So Good To Me2. Peace Division - Blacklight Sleaze (Dyed Soundorom) 3. Trickski ft. Overnite & Hollis P Monroe - A Billion People4. yousef - Beg (Hot Since 82 Future Mix)5. Andre Crom & Teenage Mutants - Hanging On6. Maya Jane Coles-Easier To Hide7. Cari Lekebusch & Zoe xenia - Good Love Sweet 8. False Image - Ocelot (Original Mix)9. Pablo Fierro - I Want It (Original Mix)10. Fablo Giannelli - Maintain (Just Be Deep Mix)

12345678910DJ tOPLook and listen

TO SUBMIT yOUR TOP 10, SEND IN THE BELOw FORMAT TO ANDy@INFUSION.AE

PIONEER-MEA.COMPioneerDJ

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PGF_DDJ-SX_100x150mm.indd 1 22/11/2012 13:35

LookingCLOSeropinions, thoughts and jiberish...

> Weird news

> Pan arabia enquirer

> Cool Test

> Films

> Big q

> angry monkey

Weird News...

We might not get much in the way of snow round these parts, but we can still revel in a good revenge story. So we were delighted to hear that a group of Leeds youths got taught a valuable lesson after they pelted local firemen with snowballs. The firefighters, working on a boat on the River Aire, quickly turned their cannons on the young lads and drenched them leaving them looking like drowned rats. Good work.

Email talk might generally consist of ‘reverting’ and ‘doing the needful’ in this part of the world, but one couple fell foul after their love life became an internet sensation. The Scottish couple accidentally forwarded a private email between them, in which said things like ‘I love making love to you, it’s ace’ and ‘last night’s session was incredible.’ The email was then very kindly forwarded by thousands and went viral, leaving the couple ‘absolutely mortified’ and have since chosen to resign.

WeiRD BiTeS

The greatest wager of all time

Ladbrokes comment after a UK gambler narrowly misses out on Dhs3m after a string of bets around the FA cup narrowly failed, thanks to one referee blowing full time just as a last gasp goal was about to cross the line. The silver lining is he still won Dhs92,000.

DIRTy TalK

SnoW JOKE

Looking Closer

CaiRo: Having already helped broker a ceasefire in Gaza and held groundbreaking unity talks between Fatah and Hamas, Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi is set to face his toughest task as peacemaker later this week when Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj touch down in Cairo. The two American Idol judges have seen their long-running feud on the reality show reach what many are calling “boiling point”, with on-screen arguing, walk outs and reports of threats being made by the two. With Fox TV executives concerned that the bad blood might disrupt their high-profile series, both have been sent to the Egyptian capital for “crisis talks” to be hosted by Morsi. “If anyone can get Mariah and Minaj back round the negotiation table, it’s MoMo,” claimed American Idol host Ryan Seacrest, speaking to TMZ last night. “But it’s really going to be his biggest test to date. Fatah and Hamas will seem like bickering toddlers squabbling over a crayon by comparison.”

The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is the Middle East’s premier source of satirical news. This means that it’s entirely made up and not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.

mohameD moRSi To hoST ReConCiliaTion TalKS BeTWeen maRiah CaRey anD niCKi minaJ

panarabiaenquirer.com

MONSTER MIDDLE EAST Tel: +971.4.883.04.05 Email: support@monsterme.com www.facebook.com/clubbeats www.beatsbydre.com

LOVE ISIN THE EAR

The verdict: Despite not being able to count to 5, Salah takes the plaudits this time round, and gets a Dhs5 Carrefour voucher for his troubles.

HOOLZ SALAH

Cool

They were last seen gracing our office decks for our weekly Warmup, but who’s cooler out of these two tech DJs?

my nickname at school was? Oolz... the h is a design technicality, thus silent. Saloo

have you ever injured yourself at work? Every time, until I got proper

earplugs made. yeah cut my finger using a scalpel preparing some boards for a presentation

it’s not big and clever but…

It’s not a stain you can wipe off. Squeeze half a lemon with a tea spoon of honey, pour hot water. And you got a nice daily detox every morning.

my best claim to fame is....

Twisting knobs and pushing buttons.

DJing for Queens Day in Amsterdam on a hydraulic DJ booth for the whole main street full of people. There must have been well over 100,000!

Describe your best track in 5 words…Slow swing with filthy chunks. Wow… OK: Groovy, Under your

skin, Sexy, Dark, Relentless. have you ever been arrested?

Wasn’t me… My lawyer says I can’t answer that… your answer to everything is…A movie quote. For you to believe or not.

Tell us your best one-liner... If you build it, they will come. Sh*t happens.

What’s the best insult you could give each other?

Play that funky music white boy.It’s all love here so far he hasn’t pissed me off yet. Let’s wait for that day and inspiration will be flowing like a waterfall!

MOVIE PREVIEWS

LIncOLn

Spielberg reigns in his dramatic senses in this Oscar nominated epic, and creates a taut political drama that centers on Lincoln’s attempt to push through the abolition of slavery. Classification: 12Director: Steven Spielberg Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis

last Stand With his political career finished, Arnie returns to the big screen in this competent action movie as he plays a local sheriff who’s the last line of defence against a Mexican drug cartel. Classification: 15Director: Jee-woon Kim Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville

MOVIE PREVIEWS

2 DayS In nEW yORk

A more upmarket take on Meet The Fockers, as Delpy and Rock play a couple hosting a cantankerous couple of in-laws over a New york weekend… Classification: 12Director: Julie Delpy Starring: Julie Delpy, Chris Rock

Texas Killing Fields In the Texas bayous, a local homicide detective teams up with a cop from New york City to investigate a series of unsolved murders. Classification: TBCDirector: Ani Canaan Mann Starring: Sam Worthington, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Dexter: Are you tired? Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Jacob: What does your dad work with?

Marwa: Excuse me love you’ve dropped smth.

Megan: Are you an angel or did you just fall from heaven

The Big Question

Looking Closer

?

Moses: Guy asked: you are from Kenya? Is that in london or in Europe?

Susanna: Give me your number.

What’s the worst chat up line you’ve ever heard?

lupe: Your mom must be chocolate maker to produce such a Bon Bon

lynn: Is that a latter in your staking or a stairway to heaven

ALL neW

COMInG SOOn...

The angry monkeys’ views are his own, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of infusion magazine.

What’s in a name, you ask? Well, if you’re called Lulu Trixabelle Peaches, a lifetime of bullying, you’d expect.

But in Dubai, trade description acts are breached every day, none more flagrantly in the nightlife market. The terms VIP and exclusive are more overused than a Bur Dubai bonking bar, but the real winner in terms of out and out lying, is the Dubai Jazz Festival.

Who the f*ck are One Republic and Three Doors Down, and why the f*ck are they playing a jazz festival? Just in case you’re wondering, they have as much jazz in their DNA as Ramstein. And Deep Purple, at a jazz festival? ARE yOU ON CRACK?

We might as well start up a folk festival and get Slipknot to headline.

Monkey Out...

AnGrY MONKEY