Inner Compass is an extraordinary achievement in spiritual and wisdom literature. Joseph A. Tetlow, SJ,

author of Choosing Christ in the World

An Invitation to Ignatian Spirituality

L

Margaret Silf

Inner Compass

Contents

ForewordbyGerardW.Hughes / ii Preface / ix NewIntroductiontotheTenthAnniversaryEdition / x

TheInvitation... / 3 1. MeetYourGuide:St.IgnatiusLoyola / 7 2. WhereAmI?HowAmI?WhoAmI? / 21

3. FindingOurPastinGod / 35

4. SoWhatWentWrong? / 51

5. LettingGodBeGod / 67

6. TrackingOurMoods / 79

7. MakingOurWayintheDark / 97

8. TheDeepestDesire / 109

9. WhyDontYouAnswerMyPrayers? / 123

10. RecognizingOurAttachments / 141

11. PathwaystoDetachment / 155

12. RecognizingtheEnemy,TrustingtheFriend / 171

13. WhatIsFreedom?WhatIsTruth? / 187

14. ToSeeYouMoreClearly / 205

15. ToLoeYouMoreDearly / 225

16.ToFollowYouMoreNearly / 243

Benedictus / 261

TakingYourIgnatianJourneyFurther... / 265

L

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NewIntroductiontotheTenthAnniversaryEdition

TherequesttowriteanewintroductionforthissecondeditionofInnerCompasstriggeredaminorearth-quake in my memory. I wrote the text for Landmarks (theoriginalUKtitleofthebook)backin1997,andIwroteitbyaccident.Readersperhapsassumethatbooksaretheproductof a deliberate process of planning and execution, but InnerCompasswasnot.

I had attended a daylong workshop in Ignatian spiritu-ality ledbyGerardHughes,SJ,of theBritishProince. IhadalreadybeenerymuchformedandinfluencedbyIgnatiusandtheJesuits,and,likealltheparticipantsthatday,IwaseagertohearGerardHughesstalk.Aftertheeent,afewofthosepres-entexpressedadesiretofollowuponsomeofthetopicsthathadbeenraised,andIwasaskedtohelpthemdothis.Theresultwasa seriesofquietdays inwhich I shared somethingofmyowntakeonissuessuchasdiscernment,desire,anddetachmentandencouragedpeopletodiscoerwhatthesethingsmeantforthemintheireerydayliing.

And so, quite accidentally (though inGod, perhaps, thereare no accidents), the first draft ofLandmarks gradually cametobewritten,tosupportthesequietdays.TitledInnerCompassinNorthAmerica, itwasconceiedandgrewoutofquestionsratherthancertainty,discoeryratherthandoctrine,theexpe-rienceofeerydayliingratherthanacademicstudy.Itwasthefruit of personal experience, reflected upon in the light of the

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wisdomofSt. IgnatiusofLoyola.Noonehasbeenmore sur-prisedbyitswarmreceptiononbothsidesoftheAtlanticthanitsauthor.

Since then, the world has turned upside down.We haeliedthroughthedeastatingimpactof9/11adaythatshiftedthehumanpsychetoaplacenoonehadeerimagineditwouldgo.Clerical scandalshae rocked theRomanCatholicChurchinEuropeandAmerica.Deepdiisionshaeopenedupworld-wide, inalltraditions,betweentheliberalandtheconsera-tieapproachtoScriptureandtosocialissues.TheIraqWarhasdiidedminds,hearts,andnationsandraisedquestionsthatwillnotgoawayaboutthemorallegitimacyofanyiolentactiontoresoledisputesorgainpower.

Todaywearewitnessinganacceleratingbreakdownoftrustinmanyofourinstitutionsandadangerouspolarizationamongworld faiths.Suddenly religion ishighontheagenda.Peoplewhohaeneerthoughtaboutreligiousmattersbeforearethink-ingaboutthemnow.Eeryonehasanopinion.Andyetwefeelmorelostandafraidthaneerbefore.

So, it seems, we face insuperable problems in our times.Einsteinoncewiselyremindedusthatwecanneersoleaprob-lemusingthesamemind-setthatcreated it. Ifwearetomoebeyondthecurrentapparentimpasseinourgrowthandtowardthefullnessofourhumanity,weneedanewmind-set.Butmorethanthis:weneedanewheart.Perhapsneerbeforehaewesourgentlyneededacompass,tossedasweareonthesehighseasofpolitical,moral,social,andspiritualturmoil.

Therehaebeenshiftsandchangesinmylifeaswellsincethebookwasfirstpublished.Peoplesometimescomment,with

NewIntroductiontothe10thAnniversaryEdition xvii

kindness and unwarranted generosity, that the book changedtheirlies.Well, itchangedminetoo!Somethingthatwasini-tiallywrittenbyaccidentactuallyswitchedthepointsontherail-roadofmylife.Ifoundmyselfdrawnintoamuchmorepublicplacethanmyoff-the-scale-introertpersonalitywouldeerhaebelieedpossible.ItoowasbeingchallengedeermoredeeplybytheChristianision,especiallyasmediatedthroughtheSpiritualExercisesofSt.Ignatius.Ihaetraeledthroughmyownkindofdarknight,inbothmypersonallifeandmyspirituallife.Manyofmyold certainties andassumptionshaedisappeared, andIhaeirreocablydepartedfrommycomfortzone.Iamlearn-ingtoliewiththequestionsanduncertaintiesand,asIdoso,totrustthatthemysterywecallGodwillcontinuetoholdandshapeme,andtheunierse,andthequestions.

Inallofthis,what,ifanything,wouldIwanttoaddto,orsubtractfrom,theintroductiontothefirsteditionofthebook?Essentially,Ithink,therearetwothingsIwouldwanttoadd.

Thefirstwouldbeapersonaltestimony.Throughallmyownupheaalsofrecentyears,thecentralityofthegospeljourneyintowhichIgnatiusguidesussoskillfullyhasbecomemoreandmoreclearlyfocused.Ihaefoundaclarityattheheartofthematter,andunendingspacefordiscoeryaroundtheedges.Sometimeswereachapointatwhichweknowthatifwegoanyfurther,wewilleither loseourfaithorbreakthroughtoanewdimensionoffaiththatgoesbeyondcreedalbelieingtoauthenticpersonaltrust.LikeIndianaJones,wecomeuptotheedgeoftheabyss,and there is no bridge.Onlywhenwe step outwith one footintotheyawningchasmofunknowingdoesthebridgeappear.Forme,Ignatianspiritualityhasbeenamajorcomponentofthat

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bridge,andIamimmenselygratefulforthissolidground,thisfirmprincipleandfoundationinthemidstofshiftingcircum-stancesbothinmylifeandintheworld.

Thesecondadditionwouldbeanobserationfrommymeet-ingswith somany twenty-first-century pilgrims and searchersabout the remarkable conergence of their questions and thewisdomofSt. Ignatius, in spite of thefie centuries andhugeculturaldifferencesthatseparateusfromhim.Thesheerpracti-calpowerandthespot-onpsychologyoftheIgnatiantoolsandguidelinesproidetrulyaccessiblewaysforwardinaddressingsomanyofthequestionsthatrealpeopleintherealworldareask-ing.QuestionssuchasWhatismylifeabout?Whereisthereanysolidgroundintheheainglandscapeofcontemporarylife?Howcan I dealwiselywith the oerwhelming array of choices thatconfrontsme?Howcan Ibecome amore trulyhumanbeing?Isnttheremoretolifethanjustsuriing?

Finally, when Iwrote Inner Compass, I had neer been toAmerica.Thatparticulargapinmyeducationhasnow,happily,beenremedied!Myratherblack-and-whiteEuropeanpreconcep-tionsaboutNorthAmericahaebeenheailychallengedbythelieencounter.Ihaediscoered,forexample,thatreligioncar-riesaerydifferentweight inNorthAmericathan inEurope,thattheleeloftheologicalawarenessamongmanylaypeopleisextraordinarilyhigh,andthatAmericansandCanadiansneithersoundnorthinkalike.AndIhaelearnedafairbitofalternatieEnglish,aswellashowrealcoffeeshouldtaste.

Itistrulysaidthattraelbroadensthemindandshrinkstheglobe.Somefolksacrossthepondhaebecomecherishedfriendsandwiseprofessionalmentors. I amespecially indebted tomycolleaguesand friendsatLoyolaPress;Americamagazine; the

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BethanySpiritualityCenter,inHighlandMills,NewYork;theMercyPrayerCenter,inRochester,NewYork;theFCJCentre,inCalgary;andalsotoJoeTetlow,SJ,JohnVeltri,SJ,andJan-ErikGuerth,ofBlueBridge, forboth theirworkand theirpersonalencouragement.

Alltheseandmanyothershaehelpedmeinthesearchformyowninnercompassandguidedmeinhowtouseit.Today,morethaneer,IrealizethatIcanttakeasinglestepwithoutit.Itisntsomethingthatanybookcangieoranyfriendormen-torcan supply. It is agiftofgrace, an initation to internalizesomethingofthemindandheartofChristinourstrugglestolietruetoGodsdreamwithinandbeyondus.Allthatabookcandoispointoutsomeofthelandmarksalongthewayandinitereaderstodiscoertheirownuniquepathintothefullnessoflife.Myhopeandprayeristhatwemayallmoedailyclosertothatdestiny,guidedandempoweredbythespiritofJesusofNazarethandassistedbytheinsightsofhisgoodfriendIigo.

MargaretSilfSeptember2007

Inner Compass

The Invitation . . .

is made out in your name.But who are you?Who is this person who feels drawn to explore the spiritual

treasures that lie within you?Yes, within you . . .Not in some closet in the sky or the bishops office.Not in some divine database, to which only the elect hold the

password.But in you.Jesus said it himself:The Kingdom is very close to you. It is in your heart.Six centuries before Jesus a Greek philosopher who rejoiced

in the name Empedocles said something else that might interest you.

God, he said, is a circle whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.

Now, theres a thought to ponder.Because that center is in every human heartrecognised

or not.That center is in you. It is the very essence and heart of who

you are.It is WHO YOU ARE.

Where am I?

How am I?

Who am I?

I am

And the circumference is nowhere because God has no edges, no boundaries, no limits.

If only it were so easy! If only that WHO-center were obvi-ous and accessible, and if only we could steer our course by it, knowing truly that God is in all things and all choices, seeking to draw the more life-giving outcome from all we do.

But that innermost circle is wrapped up in other layers that are not always so clearly of God. A bit like the parcels we some-times make up for each other, with a small but precious gift wrapped up in layers and layers of wrapping paper and string.

The outermost layer of wrapping is what we might call the WHERE of ourselves and our livingthose things we cant change, or not very easily: our family and culture, our state of health and level of education, our strengths and our weaknesses, our history. Its in this layer that we spend most of our timeout here on the edge of ourselves. And unlike God, we do have an edgesometimes a rather sharp oneand we do have limits.

But if we can move inwards a bit, we get to a rather deeper layer, that we might call the HOW of our living. Here we have choices. We may not be able to change our circumstances but we have a choice about how we respond to them. We may have no choice about who we get as family or work colleagues, but we can choose how we will relate to them. And, as we shall see when we set out to navigate by the inner compass of our WHO, where God abides, every choice makes a difference.

And so we arrive deep in the WHO center. Not everyone has the courage to go there. There is glory, sure, but there is also shame in that center. To be truly there, before God, we will be invited to take off our protective masks and allow ourselves to be knownand lovedjust as we truly are. That encounter with

The Invitation

the living God may challenge us way beyond our comfort zone. But it will be the most important adventure of all, because it is what we are all about.

Your WHO-center is the place where God is growing Gods unique Dream in you.

The invitation is to discover that Dream, and to live it.

The Invitation

Religion/Christianity $14.95U.S.

Whateverpathyoureon,Godistheretoguideyou...

A nyone seeking to deepen his or her relationship with God will greatly benefit from Inner Compass, Margaret Silf s dynamic presentation of the profound insights of St. Ignatius of Loyolas Spiritual Exercises. While reflective, the work exudes a congenial, practical outlook and a thoroughly modern sensibility. As Silf points out, the book grew out of questions rather than certainty, discovery rather than doctrine, the experience of everyday living rather than academic study.

This tenth-anniversary edition of the acclaimed Inner Compass fea-tures a new introduction and personal invitation to the reader, plus a significantly expanded resource section. Devoted followers of Ignatian spirituality and spiritual seekers alike will find that wherever life has led them, Inner Compass offers renewed direction and purpose and helps them recognize the will of God within their own hearts.

Margaret Silf travels widely in her work as a retreat director and speaker on Ignatian spirituality. Her books include Close to the Heart: A Practical Approach to Personal Prayer (Loyola Press), The Gift of Prayer and Wise Choices (Bluebridge), and Roots and Wings (Eerdmans).

ISBN-13: 978-0-8294-2645-8ISBN-10: 0-8294-2645-0

10th Anniversary

Edition

Inner Compassisanextraordinaryachievementinspiritualandwisdomliterature.

JosephA.Tetlow,SJ,authorofChoosing Christ in the World

An Invitation to Ignatian Spirituality

L

MargaretSilf

Inner CompAss

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