likeit magazine issue 8
DESCRIPTION
LIKEiT Magazine is an online flip-page magazine that brings you the best of the internet under one roof.TRANSCRIPT
November 2012 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 8
Your “feel good” magazine companion
LIKE T
JamieBeck & KevinBurg
Color Tests
SandpiperTo Bring You JoyFunny
DefinitionsBuilding Bridges
Never
Lose
HopeIt Was
Only A Quarter
Let us stay connected...
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SlidingoorS
So It Would Seem To Appear
Detective Hobbs was on his way to the big Detroit auto show when he decided to
visit his old friend, Dr. Sam. At Sam's home he was shocked to learn that just two days earlier his long time friend had hanged himself.
"Sam was in excellent health and spirits when I heard from him last week," Hobbs told the sheriff. "I can't believe he committed suicide."
"But he did---I investigated it myself," said the sheriff. "Here's how it all happened."
"Pete Porter, Sam's manservant, was returning to the house late that night when he spotted a light in the attic. As Porter got out of his car, he saw through the open attic window Sam knotting a rope around his neck. The other end was tied to a rafter. Then he saw Sam calmly kick away the small stool he was standing on, and that was the end."
"Porter found the house locked. He had forgotten his key; so he went to the neighbor to call me."
"He repeated to me exactly what I've just told you," said the sheriff.
"When I arrived at Sam's house, I had to force the front door open." Porter and I then ran up the three floors to the attic. Sam was dead. The coroner has no doubt that death was from hanging."
"The attic floor was clear except for the little stool that lay overturned by the door," con-cluded the sheriff.
Hobbs knew that Porter was lying because Porter said he saw Sam kick the small stool. If he had been looking from the driveway up to the attic, he would never have been able to see a small stool on the floor. The house was 3 stories high!!!
The Case of the Late Night Suicide"Let's go out to the house," said Hobbs. "From everything you've told me about Porter's story, I can tell you he's lying!"
How did Hobbs know that Porter was lying?
Click Here for Answer
"I've finally earned my place as assistant curator of the museum", said Bob Hob-
bie to Max, the chief administrator of the Belgra Archeological Museum. "I moved West of the Pakistani dig site and we've just unearthed some wonderful coin artifacts."
"Why did you start digging in a new loca-tion?" asked Max.
"One of the local natives told me that, for many generations, his family had passed
down a legend of a lost village and he found a map among his
father's things," said Bob. "His father recently passed away", he add-
ed. "The native fol-lowed the map and led me to this site on the
condition that if we discovered anything of value he would be paid one thousand
The Case of the Archaeological Dig
Max realized that Bob had been taken in by the local native because there couldn't be any coins dated B.C. How would anyone have known it was B.C?
dollars", explained Bob.
"And what is it that you found buried,?" asked Max.
"It's just terrific," exclaimed Bob, "we found 3 gold coins of various sizes dated 400 B.C., and after properly dusting them off I found them to be in excellent condition." "I quickly paid the native to complete our verbal contract and keep him from trying to claim a portion of the discovery," concluded Bob. After con-sidering for a few moments, Max told Bob that when he returns home he should look for another job!! Why?
Click Here for Answer
© 2012 www.addmediacreatives.tk
Editor-In-Chief Maridel De LeonBusiness Development David Pancratius Lawrence
Designer & Production Augusto MenesesSocial Media Research MG Ryan
Contents Timothy Jonathan, David Lawrence, Chuck McNally
www.addmediacreatives.tkwww.addmediacreatives.co.cc
Publisher ADDMedia Creative PrintShop
For Subscription, Purchase & Advertising [email protected]@addmediavreatives.tk [email protected]
For comments & suggestions:[email protected]
LIKE T
22 You love a free and spontane-ous life. And you attempt to enjoy it to the fullest, in accord-ance with the motto: “You only live once.”
Color Tests
28 Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly im-portant or what is only a momentary setback or crisis.
Sandpiper to Bring You Joy
contents
FAIR USE ACT Some of the materials used in this online magazine have been taken from the internet and falls under the FAIR USE ACT which allows the use of materials as long as it is not used to ad-vertise a product or try to influence the decision of the consumer into buying a product. Any brands appearing here are copyright of their respective companies. If any of the materials are deemed infringement of property rights, then please contact our staff and the said materials will be pulled out and not be used in the future.
DISCLAIMER: Stories appearing in LIKEiT Magazine are not the views, opinion nor recommendation of the management. It remains with the readers discretion to believe or not to believe anything that is featured here. Damage resulting from reading the stories appearing here are not the responsibility of the ADDMedia Creatives management and its staff.
A Very Funny CommercialSometimes there comes a creative tv ad that, not only brings a smile to our lips, but at the same time effectively sends its message.
http://youtu.be/sxlyWieYZsE
View an interactive version at http://storiesulove2read.co.cc/likeit08/likeit08.html
52 A preacher from out-of-state ac-cepted a call to a church in Hou-ston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area.
It Was Only a Quarter
“Life is not measured by the num-ber of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”
Thank You for Your Time32
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
Funny Definitions38
42 The Beauty of Math
46 The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nail-ing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.
Building Bridges
Did we really discover mathemat-ics? Or was it given to us? Check out these series of math equa-tions and decide for yourself. Do you think this beautifully orches-trated series of equations just happens to be there?Images courtesy of:
FreeDigitalPhotos.netJamieBeck & KevinBurg
PublicDomainPictures.netHassleFreeClipart.com
flashback
Ignorance of DisabilityIn this video, a lot of message is conveyed in a single minute! One, being disabled does not mean you are hopeless and cannot do anything. Another is, don’t be a judge of character from what little you know. Even if you are a disable, it does not mean you can’t do anything other than seek sympa-thy. Don’t let your disability prevent you from being productive in life.
http://youtu.be/jwmaMlLM8bI
thoughts
This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT! Try to do so without any coaching!
A Very Unusual Paragraph
The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.
What is the word??? It's more powerful than God.
It's more evil than the Devil.
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it you will die.
Believe it or not, 70% of elementary school children quizzed solved the riddle, and only 17% of college age people figured it out. Good luck!
The answer is NOTHING! NOTHING is more powerful than God.
NOTHING is more evil than the Devil.
The poor have NOTHING.
The rich need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING you will die.
Click Here for Answer
Click Here for Answer
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A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.
Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he
accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail with-out noticing his error.
In the mean time:In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He
was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven).
The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she
fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that every-thing has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
So You think It’s Just an
A friendly reminder from:
She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again. She wanted to see him.Please, if you answered this correctly, go to the cops and tell them to lock you up, ok?
If you didn't answer correctly, good for you; If your friends hit the jackpot, please stay away from them; If you answered correctly, stay away from me.
This was a test by famous American psychologists used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. In fact, a lot of arrested serial killers took part in this test and had answered it correctly.
Is there a serial killer among you?The following is an actual psychological test.
The main character in the story is this girl. When she was at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy who was also there, but she did not know who he was.
Well....
This guy happened to fit her bill of her dream guy, so she fell in love with him at once; love at first sight etc...
A few days later, the girl killed her own sister. When the cops asked her why she did that, she gave a very shocking answer...
Do you know what her motive for killing her sister is?
Click Here for Answer
Can you follow
Directions: YOU will need a pen and
paper for this test. You have a 5 minute
time limit to complete the parts of this
test. Carefully read all of the parts of the
test before doing anything. In order to
ensure the accuracy of this exam, you
should not use more than the allotted
time of 5 minutes. You may start the
timer and begin whenever you choose.
Good Luck!!
Directions?
1. Write today's date--month-day-year in the top right hand corner of your test paper.
2. Write the answer to the following multiplication problem directly underneath the date on your test paper -- 6 X 5 = ?
3. Write the name of the month that be-gins with the letter "D" in the top left hand corner of your test paper.
4. Add 15 to the answer you got in part #2, and write this new total directly underneath your answer for part #3.
The only writing you should have on your test paper is the word
December.
It should be located in the top left hand corner of the page.
The directions specifically state to read all parts before doing anything.
5. In the lower left hand corner of your test paper, write the names of your favorite singer and your favorite group.
6. Just above your answer to part #5, write "This test is very easy."
7. In the lower right hand corner of your test paper, draw a rectangle and inside the rectangle draw a five pointed star. The size of these drawings is not important.
8. Directly above your answer to part #7, draw a row of three small circles. Once again, size is not important.
9. Write the name of the first president of the United States on the back of your test paper anywhere you choose. If you don't know who this is, write your own name instead.
10. Write the name of any country that be-gins with the letter "I" directly underneath you answer to part #2.
11. Take the number of dwarfs in the Snow White story and add it to the number of
bears in the Goldilocks story. Divide by 2. Write this total in the approximate center of your test paper.
12. Think of a number between 1 and 50. Double that number. Add 20. Add 6. Sub-tract 17. Subtract 9. Divide by 2. Write this number on your test paper directly under-neath your answer to part #11.
13. Now that you have carefully read all of the parts so far, and you have not carried out any of the actual work, skip the next 2 parts and go back and only complete part #3.
14. The name of the first president of the Unit-ed States is George Washington. He was presi-dent from 1789 until 1797. Add the 2 dates together to see if the total is less than 5000.
15. You should not be reading the end of the exam before the beginning of the exam, but now that you are here, you have just wasted some of the time you may need to complete the test.
Click here for theTEST RESUlTS
IT’S TIME WE HEAR THEM...
IT’S TIME WE HEAR THEM...
Color Tests
Carefree, Playful, Cheerful
You love a free and spontaneous life. And you attempt to enjoy it to the fullest, in accordance with the motto: "You only live once."
You are very curious and open about everything new; you thrive on change. Nothing is worse than when you feel tied down. You experience your environment as being versatile and always good for a surprise.
Introspective, Sensitive, Reflective
You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your envi-ronment than do most people. You detest superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. But your relationships with your friends are highly intensive, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you need in order to feel good. You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time; you rarely become bored.
The next four pages presents you with 9
colorful designs. Choose which color and design you like best and click on the star beneath it.
Surprise, surprise... your choice will reveal a lot of
things about you!
Independent, Unconventional,
Unfettered You demand a free and unattached life for yourself that allows you to determine your own course. You have an artistic bent in your work or leisure activities. Your urge for freedom sometimes causes you to do exactly the opposite of what expected of you.
Your lifestyle is highly individualistic. You would never blindly imitate what is "in"; on the contrary, you seek to live accord-ing to your own ideas and convictions, even if this means swimming against the tide.
Down to Earth, Well-Balanced, Harmonious
You value a natural style and love that which is uncomplicated. People admire you because you have both feet planted firmly on the ground and they can depend on you. You give those who are close to you security and space. You are perceived as being warm and human. You reject everything that is garish and trite. You tend to be skeptical toward the whims of fashion trends. For you, clothing has to be practical and unobtrusively elegant.
Professional, Pragmatic, Self-Assured
You take charge of your life, and place less faith in your luck and more in your own deeds. You solve problems in a practical, uncomplicated manner. You take a realistic view of the things in your daily life and tackle them without wavering. You are given a great deal of responsibility at work, because people know that you can be depended upon.
Your pronounced strength of will projects your self-assurance to others. You are never fully satisfied until you have accomplished your ideas.
Peaceful, Discreet, Non-Aggressive
You are easy-going yet discreet. You make friends effortlessly, yet enjoy your privacy and independence. You like to get away from it all and be alone from time to time to contemplate the meaning of life and enjoy yourself. You need space, so you escape to beautiful hideaways, but you are not a loner. You are at peace with yourself and the world, and you appreciate life and what this world has to offer.
Analytical, Trustworthy, Self-Assured
Your momentary sensitivity represents that which is of high quality and durable. Conse-quently, you like to surround yourself with little "gems," which you discover wherever they are overlooked by others.
Thus, culture plays a special role in your life. You have found your own personal style, which is elegant and exclusive, free from the whims of fash-ion. Your ideal, upon which you base your life, is cultured pleasure. You value a certain level of culture on the part of the people with whom you as-sociate.
Romantic, Dreamy,
Emotional You are a very sensitive person. You refuse to view things only from a sober, rational stand-point. What your feelings tell you is just as important to you. In fact, you feel it is important to have dreams in life, too.
You reject people who scorn romanticism and are guided only by rationality. You refuse to let anything confine the rich variety of your moods and emotions.
Dynamic, Active, Extroverted
You are quite willing to ac-cept certain risks and to make a strong committment in ex-change for interesting and var-ied work. Routine, in contrast, tends to have a paralyzing effect on you.
What you like most is to be able to play an active role in events. In doing so, your initia-tive is highly pronounced.
HA
PPY HAlLOWEEN!
from your
family
COME JOIN US! Membership is through invitation only and
here’s one, http://www.zurker.ph/i-247687-pvyubluqgq .
mAY THE zURK BEWITH YOU!
You’ll gonna love it here!
She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to
close in on me. She was building a sandcastle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.
“Hello,” she said. I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.
“I’m building,” she said.
“I see that. What is it?” I asked, not caring.
“Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand.”
That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my
shoes. A sandpiper glided by.
“That’s a joy,” the child said.
“It’s a what?”
“It’s a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.” The bird went gliding down the beach. “Good-bye joy,” I muttered to myself, “hello pain.” and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed completely out of balance.
“What’s your name?” She wouldn’t give up.
“Robert, “ I answered. “I’m Robert Peter-son.”
SandpiperTo Bring You Joy
“Mine’s Wendy...I’m six.”
“Hi Wendy,” She giggled. “You’re funny,” she said.
In spite of my gloom I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.
“Come again, Mr. P,” she called. “We’ll have another happy day.”
The days and weeks that followed belonged to others: a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meet-ings and an ailing mother. The sun was shin-ing one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater, “I need a sandpiper,” I said to myself, gathering up my coat. The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was
chilly, but I strode along, trying to recap-ture the serenity I needed. I had forgot-ten the child and was startled when she appeared.
“Hello, Mr. P,” she said. “Do you want to play?”
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
I don’t know, you say.”
“How about charades?” I asked sarcasti-cally.
The tinkling laughter burst forth again. “I don’t know what that is.”
“Then let’s just walk.” Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
“Where do you live?” I asked.
“Over there.” She pointed toward a row of summer cottages. Strange I thought, in winter.
“Where do you go to school?”
“I don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation.” She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.
Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of panic. I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like de-manding she keep her child at home.
“Look, if you don’t mind,” I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me. “I’d rather be alone today.”
Sandpiper
“Yes,” I said, “and yesterday and the day before and-oh go away!”
“Did it hurt? she inquired.
“Did what hurt?” I was exasperated with her, with myself.
“When she died?”
She seemed unusually pale and out of breath, “Why?” she asked.
I turned to her and shouted, “Because my mother died!” and thought, “My God, why was I saying this to a little child?”
“Oh,” she said quietly. “then this is a bad day.”
“Of course it hurt!” I snapped, misunder-standing, wrapped up in myself, I strode off.
A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there. Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself that I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked on the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.
“Hello,” I said, “I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was.”
“Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nui-sance, please, accept my apologies.”
“Not at all, she’s a delightful child.” I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said.
“Wendy died last week, Mr Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn’t tell you.”
Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.
“She loved this beach; so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no.”
“She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..” Her voice faltered. “She left something for you....If only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?”
I nodded stupidly, my mind raced for some-thing to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with Mr. P printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues - a yellow beach, a blue sea and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:
A Sandpiper to bring you joy
Tears welled up in my eyes and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” I muttered over and over and we wept together.
The precious little picture is framed now and hands in my study. Six words - one for each year of her life - that speak to me in harmony, courage, and undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea-blue eyes and hair the color of sand - who taught me the gift of love. This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life for-ever. It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other.
The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a momentary setback or crisis.
This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means, take a mo-ment... even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.
This comes from someone’s heart, and is read by many and now I share it with you...
May God Bless everyone who receives this! There are NO coincidences!
Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside anyone as insig-nificant. Who knows what they can teach us?
I wish for you, a sandpiper. ...Godbless
It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the
country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.
Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednes-day.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remember-ing his childhood days.
“ Jack, did you hear me?”
“ Oh, sorry, Mom.” Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.
“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d remi-nisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.
“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.
“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said
“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teach-ing me things he thought were important...Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said..
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack
caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door, one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped sud-denly.
“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.
“The box is gone,” he said
“What box?” Mom asked.
“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’” Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Bel-ser died Returning home from work one day
Thank You For Your Time!
Jack discovered a note in his mailbox “Signa-ture required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The hand-writing was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr. Harold Belser” it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There in-side was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.
“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears fill-ing his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser.”
“The thing he valued most was...my time”
Jack held the watch for a few minutes then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his as-sistant asked.
“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said.
“Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,”
At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.A smile from you can bring happi-ness to anyone, even if they don’t like you
Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.You mean the world to someone.If not for you, someone may not be living.You are special and unique.When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you prob-ably won’t get it, but if you trust God to do what’s best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
When you make the biggest mis-take ever, something good can still come from it.When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.Always remember the compli-ments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you’ll both be happy.If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt . Candidate B is Winston Churchill . Candidate C is Adolph Hitler .
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic
Question 1If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids al-ready, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recom-mend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?
Tough Questions2
Candidate AAssociates with crooked politi-cians, and consults with astrol-ogist. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate BHe was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
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Candidate CHe is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
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READiculous !
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
Divorce: Future tense of marriage
Lecture: An art of transferring infor-mation from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the big-gest piece!
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is de-feated by feminine water-power. ..
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic: Books which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Funny
DefinitionsOpportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand
before elections and your Confidence
after?
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.
You accidentally enter your PIN on the mi-crowave.
You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-)
You’re reading this and nodding and laugh-ing.
Even worse, you know exactly who among your friends will be laughing upon reading this.
You know you are
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
The Beauty of
Math!
Coincidence or not?
And look at this beautiful symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321
Did we really discover mathematics? Or was it given to us? Check out these series
of math equations and decide for yourself. Do you think this beautifully orchestrated series of equations just happens to be there?
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K l M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K will count as
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-l-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
And:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
l-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It’s the love of God that
will put you over the top!
Now, take a look at this...
101%
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Then the long collabo-ration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstand-ing and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox.
“I’m looking for a few days work” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”
“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me,
but I’ll go him one better. See that pile of lum-ber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence — an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow.”
The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”
Building
Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and
goods as needed without a hitch.
“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, tak-ing each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.
“No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.
“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”
The older brother had to go to town for sup-plies, so he helped the carpenter get the ma-terials ready and then he was off for the day.
The carpenter worked hard all that day meas-uring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just fin-ished his job.
The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It
Building Bridgeswas a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work — handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.
If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.
If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.
If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.
If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.
If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.
If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop andstare in wonder, then you still have hope.
If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.
Never
Lose
HopeIf you meet new people with a trace of
excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.
If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.
If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.
If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.
If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.
If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.
If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.
If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey, then you still have hope.
If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.
If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.
If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase...”yeah. ...BUT. .” then you still have hope.
Hope is such a marvelous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can.
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in.
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.
Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.
Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return.
And it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
Never lose hope.
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Begin from infancy to give the child eve-rything he wants. This way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a
living.
When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It will encourage him to pick up even cuter phrases that will shock and embarrass you later.
Avoid the use of the word “wrong” so he won’t develop a guilt complex. Then later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, he will believe that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
Never give him any spiritual training. Wait un-til he is twenty-one and then let him decide for himself.
Always pick up anything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, clothing,
Do everything for him so he will be experi-enced in shirking responsibility.
Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Don’t monitor his computer usage.
The silverware and drinking glasses must be sterilized, but the child’s mind can feed on garage.
Quarrel frequently in the presence of your childen. This way they won’t be too shocked when the home is broken up.
Give him all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own.
Why should he have things as tough as you had them? Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustra-tions. Take his part against the neighbors, teachers, and policemen.
They are all prejudiced against your child. Then when he gets into real trouble, apolo-gize for yourself by saying, “I never could do anything with him.”
Prepare for a life of grief - you will have it.
HOW TO RAISE A
CROOK
A preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived,
he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the down-town area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.
As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, “You’d better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.” Then he thought, “Oh, forget it, it’s only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a ‘gift from God’ and keep quiet.”
When his stop came, he paused momen-tarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, “Here, you gave me too much change.”
The driver, with a smile, replied, “Aren’t you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you
It WasOnly A Quarter
would do if I gave you too much change. I’ll see you at church on Sunday.”
When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, “Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter.”
Watch your thoughts; they become words;
Watch your words; they become actions;
Watch your actions; they become habits;
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you......
Stay FAITHFUL and be GRATEFUL
Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really scary ex-ample of how much people watch us as Christians and will put us to the test! Always be on guard and remember that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself “Christian.”
Men are like ..Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like.Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like ....Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like ....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
Men are like....
Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
Men are like ........Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the
farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule ‘braying’ -or- whatever mules do when they fall into wells.
After carefully assessing the situation, the farm-er sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving.
Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery. Initially, the old mule was hysterical.
But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back He should shake it off and step up.
This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up, shake it off and step up, shake it off and step up,” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought panic and just kept right on Shaking it off and stepping up.
It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well. What seemed like it would bury him, actually blessed him all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
That’s life. If we face our problems and re-spond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity
The adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the potential to ben-efit and bless us.
Remember that Forgiveness, Faith, Prayer, Priase and Hope all are excellent ways to Shake it off and step up out of the wells in which we find ourselves.
Shake It Off
LIKE TOR
NOT General InterestingFacts
“Jaws” is the most common name for a goldfish.
On an average work day, a typist’s fingers travel 12.6 miles.
Every minute in the U.S. six people turn 17.
2,500 lefties die each year using products designed for rightists.
Ten tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.
On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.
Blue and white are the most common school colors.
Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year.
In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat.
A new book is published every 13 minutes in America.
America’s best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla.
Every year the sun loses 360 million tons.
Two men went fishing. One was an experi-enced fisherman, the other wasn’t.
Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisher-man caught a big fish, he threw it back.
The experienced fisher-man watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. “Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?” he asked.
The inexperienced fisher-man replied, “I only have a small frying pan.”
Sometimes, like that fisherman, we
throwback the big plans, big
dreams, big jobs, big op-portunities that God gives us.
Our faith is too small. We laugh at that fisherman who didn’t fig-
ure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan, yet how
ready are we to increase the size of our faith? Whether
it’s a problem or a pos-sibility, God will never
give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way. You can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13.) Nothing our Big God can han-dle.
Clipart from Clipartheaven.com
GOD!Big
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was
announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.
Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was pass-ing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat.” Vanity answered
Sadness was close by so Love asked for help,
“Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”
Happiness passed by Love too, but he was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the el-der his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.
Love realizing how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because, only Time is capable of un-derstanding how great Love is.”
A LOVE STORY -
Island of Feelings
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Meet Dave. Actually, meet the giant head of Eddie Mur-phy as part of an enormous bust to promote the movie. Whew, that’s a relief!
LIKEiT or Not, the photo is not another classic case of an optical illusion wherein the smaller guy is really so much far, far away to create the effect. Nope, it’s real as it can be. The propor-tions are correct in every aspect. The tiny man is Aditya "Romeo" Dev, the world's smallest bodybuilder. He stands a towering 2 feet 9 inches tall and weighing in at a whopping 20 pounds. The big guy is fellow bodybuilder, Vern Troyer -- just your average fitness buff...
LIKEiT or NOTSome Things are NOT PhotoShopped
even if they looked like it!
My Goodness! Who painted Eddie Murphy on
the Scenery
Hey, This Optical Illussion Has Been Done Numerous Times
Already
Yes, this is real and can be found in England. The art-ist wanted to create a tes-tament to the loneliness of writing (really now!)This humongous table and chair is in reality, a giant sculpture.
What the... ? The “DOWN” word is
floating!
Honey, I Shrunk... Nope,
Don’t Worry, You Did Not
It really looks like it from this point of view. However, rest assured, the word “DOWN” is not floating. It’s painted smack down in the floor and wall, and by adjusting the angles and perspective, creative the floating effect. Ummm, maybe he should have painted the word “UP.”
even if they looked like it!
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for m re!There
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