managing conflict & strengthening work relationshipswork

Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships

Prepared ForPrepared ForMontana State University

November 3, 2010

Suzanne McCorkle Ph DSuzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.

What happens when conflictsWhat happens when conflicts are not managed well?

To the work group

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To the individual

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?

?

?

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Copyright McCorkle 2010 2

Causes of Conflict

Emotions

StyleInformation

Relationships Values

Substance


Ab t d t Information Conflicts

•About data

•Misinformation

•Having different information

•Which data to use

•Not having enough information

•Withholding informationWithholding information


Emotion conflicts •About feelings, ego, self-esteem, feelings

of entitlement

•Arise when other conflicts get too ripe

L d t ti ll thi ki•Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking

•Emotions short-circuit the ability to reason and to listen


V lValue

conflicts

•About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings

•Religion, politics, work ethicsReligion, politics, work ethics

•In some ways, easiest to manage in work context


Relationship fli t

About who we are to each otherBoss/subordinate, working relationships

conflicts

Who has what authority?Are we friends?Can co-workers, students/professors have deep relationships?Do we have the same goals about ourDo we have the same goals about our relationship?


About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is bestCommon with strong personalitiesFrequent cause of annoyancesCauses conflict when style difference is seen as obstruction

Style

conflictsconflicts


•About real or perceived scarce resources

•Money, time, space, equipment ….

•Amenable to regular problem solving once the issue is isolated

Substance conflicts


Q i k Ch tQuick Chat

What about other people’s communication really irritates you?

When styles clash, conflict often results.


Common Style Differences•Meeting management style

•Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers

•Verbal conversational style•Verbal conversational style

Dialect

Rapport vs ReportRapport vs. Report

Pause Gap

•Personality styley y

•Conflict style

Escalators/Fractionators

General Conflict Style

•Cultural style


1 Competitors 3 Collaborators

What’s Your Conflict Style?

1. Competitors 3. Collaborators

2. Compromisers

5. Avoiders 4. Accommodators


What are the Problems withWhat are the Problems with Relying on One Style?

?

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What is the First Response toWhat is the First Response to Types of Conflict?

InformationEmotionEmotionSubstantiveV lValuesRelationship


Smart Negotiation

Recognize the positive power of multiple perspectives and stylesp p yAlways start with interests


Check Perception Differencesp

Perceptioni tis not

objective


What do you see?y


In Stress or ConflictIn Stress or Conflict…..•People revert to their basic style.

•Make Self-Serving evaluations.

“I am thoughtful; you take all day

and can’t make a decision ”and can’t make a decision.”


Recognizing Perception DifferencesRecognizing Perception Differences is a Skill


Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation HarderMisunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder

Moral =


Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference?Making Preference?

Long Term Short Term

Fact Gut

By the Book Just Do It

Slow FastSlow Fast


What’s Your Work Preference?What s Your Work Preference?Social Task-Oriented

Agenda Free-formAgenda Free form

A bl A t tiAgreeable Argumentative

Critical Creative


What’s Your Cultural Style?

Loud Soft-spoken

Passionate Controlled

Confront Indirect

Say What You Think Concern for Other’s FeelingsSay What You Think Concern for Other s Feelings


Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker). )

Are there style differences? IfAre there style differences? If unrecognized, do these differences make

negotiation harder?


Quick Chat1 D h i ifi l1. Do you have a significant style

difference with a boss or co-worker?2. What can you do (mentally or in

discussion with the other) to preventthe style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?


Smart Negotiation #2:Always Work From InterestsAlways Work From Interests

Positions and demands are on the Surface

Interests or needs lurk under the waterline

Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may

harm relationshipsCopyright McCorkle 2010 2727

harm relationships.

Conflict itself is normal.It is what we do during conflicts

that makes it beneficial orthat makes it beneficial or harmful.


Positive Responses to DifficultyPositive Responses to DifficultyUnderstand what to do first in each type of conflict.Give up being the center of the universe.Don’t “help” others improve their personal style.Understand how unrecognized perception differences can make conflict and negotiations crazy


For Further General Reading g

Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook)

Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle Suzanne;Authors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10: 0205499880ISBN13: 9780205499885Format: PaperbackPub. Date: 1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon

Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site


book purchasing site.

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