MIDLIFE TUNE-UP FOR YOUR FACE

How 50 mg of Ointment Transformed me into a Troll

My Testimonial for Efudex

If you have sun damaged skin, the best solution is an Efudex chemical peel.

Efudex targets the cells that are dividing faster than others. It is like a sharpshooter for sun-damaged skin.

Some people use Efudex for cosmetic purposes only, which requires a level of vanity and masochism far beyond the powers of me, a mortal man.

The Bare Essentials of Efudex:1

You should have stayed out of the sun or used sunscreen (or both), but it's too late to cry about it now.

Face it, you have no choice. Just tough it out and apply the Efudex and you will get better.

The Bare Essentials of Efudex Treatment 2 The ugly red skin and the pain is only

temporary. Don't worry about how bad you will look in the short term. You are beating skin cancer and that's what is important.

After you stop applying Efudex, you will actually look worse for a week or so before you start getting better. After that, you will improve rapidly.

The worst part of the treatment is the reaction of other people when they see your face.

The Bare Essentials of Efudex Treatment 3

Look at the calendar, not at the mirror. You will be back to normal and cancer free in about 8 weeks.

Treatment with Efudex is better than the alternative, getting skin cancer.

Finally, the sun is not your friend. Enjoy the outdoors, but be sensible. Cover up and always use sunscreen.

Only courage, my child! (Beyond the initial devastation, there is HOPE in my Efudex AFTER pictures.)

The Evil Ointment

My dermatologist removed a couple of moles and biopsied them; negative. Then he advised me to do a chemical peel on my face. I took the prescription to Walgreen--$240. Gulp.

I went online and gave the prescription to a Canadian pharmacy. Five tubes came from India for $40.

I quavered six months through two girlfriends, before finally administering the fatal cure, in June-July in the wilting heat of summer. Clever.

The Half-Way Solution

This patient lacks my depth of character and courage.

He has treated only his forehead. Without a doubt his cheeks and nose are equally damaged.

He will have to repeat the treatment one day, poor soul.

Time Lapse Horror Show

June 29Day 4

The first few days I noticed little to no change. Unfortunately I did not think to take a "Before" picture.

Time Lapse Horror Show

June 30Day 5I am in considerable discomfort by now, having given up my sleep machine as a lost cause. The itching and the blowing air kept me awake for hours the final day I tried to use it.

Time Lapse Horror Show

070211 918pm Day 7For days, now, applying the Efudex has been a torture layered atop the shaving agony.

I grit my teeth and dissociate. Then do it again at night.

Time Lapse Horror Show

070311Day 8

You are probably curious and a bit apprehensive about the Efudex treatment plan. I was too. Now I know!

Time Lapse Horror Show070411 655 amDay 9

Efudex makes your skin very sensitive to sun exposure. Fool that I am, I delayed to dead-center summer.After completing the treatment, the skin is totally vulnerable to sun, and sun block is mandatory for ever after. Unless you want to Efudex again in your lifetime.

Time Lapse Horror Show

070511 607 amDay 10I look like I’ve been microwaved. The itching is horrid. Non-prescription hydrocortisone cream gave minor relief. Shaving was a fifteen-minute process. The razor did a fine job of exfoliating, I must admit. It’s much easier to apply the Efudex to a shaved face than to bristles.

Time Lapse Horror Show

070811 551 amDay 13My face is now blistered and the eyes ooze. The brown specks are the worst of the sun damage.I see the pain in the eyes of people who look on me. I take a nap every afternoon, and sleep nine hours every night, yet I’m still toast by 7:00 p.m.

Time Lapse Horror Show

070911 550 am Day14I have made it through two weeks! Many call it off after seven days and groan to their doctor the pain is unendurable.

This is a severe way to demonstrate your moxie. I think I’ll become a SEAL.

Time Lapse Horror Show

071211 559 amDay 17A doctor’s dissenting point of view on Efudex:

“I hate Efudex. Patients look like they're napalmed, hurt like crazy and call me on the phone too much. In a year or two they need it again. I wouldn't use it myself if I had lots of AKs.”

I do look napalmed. But I’m done with blistering sun. I won’t be needing Efudex again.

Time Lapse Horror Show

0717211 140 pmDay 22Coming along nicely. Sleep has at last returned:

Sleep that knits up the ravel'd sleeve of care,The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,Chief nourisher in life's feast.

Macbeth Act II, Scene II

Time Lapse Horror Show

071811 232 pmDay 23Still ruddy, but the pain is long gone!The skin will lose its lingering rosy hue in two months, I’m told.People think I have Rosacea. Not as bad as Efudex-acea! I’ll take it.

Time Lapse Horror Show071911 844 amDay 24Today marks 24 days since I began my Efudex treatment, 10 days since I stopped applying Efudex and my skin began healing.After forty years of living like an Oklahoma Roustabout, I now apply Mary Kay serums and moisturizers morning and night, compliments of my girlfriend.That said, she has caused me great anguish during this ordeal, by insisting on kissing me every time she sees me.

Time Lapse Horror Show072311 120 pmDay 28Looking back at the pictures from several weeks ago it's all like a rude memory, of ten miles of bad road. A heck of a price to pay for improving my infrastructure. I wouldn’t do it again. But I will recommend it for you.I cannot believe how ghastly I looked during the treatment, and how good I look now. Relatively speaking.

Question and Answer

How should I care for my skin after using Efudex?How do you relieve the itching?Do I have to go the full two weeks to get results?What are other side effects besides itching and pain?Can you point me to an inexpensive online pharmacy?

A:

YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO

THROUGH THIS

TORTURE!

USE SUNSCREEN