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Preparing Your Teens For CollegeAlex ChediakPreparing Your Teens For CollegeTCCCC April 26, 20141

Six Areas Covered in My BookCharacter FaithRelationshipsAcademicsFinancesThe College Decision2Parenting Young Adults: Two MistakesAs our children grow up, we gradually lose control. Two poor responses: Under-parentingOver-parenting What should we do?

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Aim for Moral Authority and InfluencePositional authority is not the same as moral authority. Positional authority is ultimately weaker than moral authority. Moral authority gives you influence where it counts. As youre losing control, you want to be gaining influence. 4The Authority/Influence Continuum (Graph from Tedd Tripp)5Age: 018InfluencePositional AuthorityUse Influence To Shape Their CharacterCultivating ResponsibilityUnderstanding cause and effectTaking initiativeContinuous learningFaithfulness in small things larger responsibilities Small things provide a safe place for them to fail, and grow, which also prepares them for the future.6Training Teens to Be Future-OrientedDelaying GratificationNo successful person always does what they want to do in the moment.This requires a vision for their teen years.

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A Vision For Teen LifePopular culture: Teens are slaves to their passions and inherently irresponsible.Biblical and historical view: Teenagers are adults in the making, apprentices in need of mentoring and modeling. Example of DavidTeens need training.8

Adults Delay GratificationDominate your responsibilities or they will dominate you. I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. (Prov. 24:30-31)Stanford University marshmallow experiment.9

Understand the Relationship Between Work and PlayThe worlds view: work is a necessary evil. The problem with school work is that it cuts into my free time. (TGIF live for weekend)Gods view: Play is meant to be a necessary but temporary refreshment to rejuvenate us for going back into our God-appointed labors. 10

Help Youth Develop a Biblical Appreciation of RecreationRecreation is essential (Ps. 127:1). Recreation should be limited. Recreation should be intentional.Recreation should empower us for our work, not distract us from it.

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Financial Preparation For Your TeenCollege means theyll have more spending opportunities than ever. Give them increasing levels of financial responsibility as they grow up. If your teen struggles with spending, better for them to learn their lessons now (with small figures) than later (with bigger figures). Daniels story.12Give Teens an Understanding of StewardshipGod owns everything. Were managers.God gives us the ability to gain wealth.Employment is about helping others flourish. Receiving money is a by-product. 13

Teach Them Budgeting SkillsMay not need them now but they will need them eventually. Skill is developed by experiencing the connection between their earning, their spending, their saving, and their giving. Can earn $ at home or outside home. Can give them allowance for specific items.Example: Jason and the expensive mini-disk.14Keeping Expenses in Check at CollegeHousing prices vary. Meal plans vary. Limit recreation expenses. Avoid credit cards. Borrow, rent, or buy used textbooks. Transportation costs. 15

Earning Money During CollegeLeverage skills.Prioritize academics. Good rule to start no more than 10-15 hours/week during the semester. If money an issue, focus on earning during the summer and breaks. Note: FAFSA favors work study and co-ops.

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So what about student loans?They feel like gifts. Theres no collateral.They cant be discharged in bankruptcy.Theyre not proportional to the risk level a student represents.Average student loan balance at graduationis growing faster than the average starting salary!

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ThereforeAvoid debt the first year. If needed, live with parents/relatives.Work part time.If you borrow, consider future earnings prospects. 18

In Conclusion..Preparing your teens for college is preparing them for life. Character and maturity are the foundation for success. Character and maturity most readily flow from a God-mastered life. Financial stewardship is a subset of responsible living. 19