One Day at a Time

In Loving Memory of

Ralph Gabriel Raskas Feb. 22, 1996 — Dec. 23, 2016

Iwouldliketousethisopportunitytosharewisdomasopposedtosorrow.WhenyouthinkofRalph,Iwantyoutothinkoflife.OverthelastsixmonthsIreceivedseveralphilosophicalemailsfromhim.TheywereforwardedtomefromTheDailyom:InspirationalThoughtsforaHappy,Healthy,andFulfillingDay,byMadisynTaylor.Consideringthathereceivedtheseemailseveryday,Iwouldliketoassumethattheonesfoundbelowaretheoneshefoundimportantenoughtoshare.Hewasalwaysconcernedforthewellbeingofothersandwouldhaveonlywantedtoleaveuswithlove.It’shardnottobefilledwithhurt,butwecanusethesemessagestoredirectourenergyintothebeginningofsomethingbeautiful.Ralphwasalwaysintouchwiththespiritualaspectsofourexistence.Hehaddeepintuitionforhowtosortthroughthechaosofthemodernworldandlivewithprinciplesoftruevalue.Soasmuchasthisisaloss,wewillcontinuetogrowRalph’sloveandkindnessfromthepiecesoflightheleftbehind.Healwayslivedbeyondthephysicalrealm.Hewasbornatrueminimalistandneverthoughttoseekanythingmaterialisticorphysicalinnature.Heinstinctivelyknewhowtoappreciatethepresentmoment.Ourhappiesttimestogetherwerespentwatchingthemountainsandlisteningtotherhythmofwavescrashalongtheseashore.Allheeverwantedwastobringasmiletoeveryoneinhispresence.Heunderstoodthatit’sthesmallthingsthatcanmakethebiggestdifferencesinourdaytodaylives.Familyandfriendswereregularlyshoweredbyhisthoughtfulness,fromsurpriselattestonotesofappreciationandgratitude.Healwaysgaveeverythinghecouldtotheonesheloved.Ithinkthegreatestgiftofallwasinthewayhelistened.Heneverrushedorinterruptedanothervoice.Hetookboththetimeandemotionnecessarytofullyunderstandthosearoundhim.Hispatiencestemmedfrompurecompassion.Hiswholeexistencewasgenuine.Withinthehardestmoments,wecanfindthegreatesttruth.Whenthegroundcracksbeneathourfeet,letuslearntofly.InthesameorderashowIreceivedtheselastsevenemails,Iwouldliketosharethemwithyouincorrespondencetothesevendaysofourweek.Ihopeyoucanusethesedailyprinciplestohelpguideyoualonginthisjourney.Whetheryouparticipateforaweek,amonth,ayear,oralifetime,knowthatyouarehelpinguskeepRalph’sspiritalive.Ibelievethesemessagesareuniversal,eternal,andtrue.Thisisnotatimetoforget,it’satimetoremember.

Spreadthelove,Bethekindness,Listendeeply-Jasmine

Monday:LettingGoOfTheLittleStuffWhenwestopworryingaboutunimportantmatters,wecandevotesomuch

moreofourselvestowhatistrulyimportant.Weexperiencenumerousdisappointmentseachandeveryday.Ourexpectationsgounmet,ourplansareblockedbycircumstance,ourwishesgounfulfilled,andwediscoverthatourlivesaresubjecttoamyriadofforcesbeyondourconsciouscontrol.Insomecases,ourresponseispowerfulbecausewemustinvestourselvesandourresourcestoovercomegenuinehardship.Inothers,ourreactionsarefarmorepassionatethanourcircumstanceslikelywarrant.Thetensionthatpermeatesourbodiesandmindswhenwearelateforanevent,interruptedatwork,orsittingintrafficisnotinappropriate,butitcaninterferewithourwell-beinginprofoundways.Whenwestopworryingaboutrelativelyunimportantmatters,wecanbeatpeaceanddevotesomuchmoreofourselvestowhatistrulyimportant.Thesmallfrustrationsandirritationswieldsuchpoweroverusbecausetheyrobusoftheillusionofcontrol.Buteveryproblemisapotentialteacher—aconfusingsituationisanopportunitytopracticemindfulness,anddifficultpeopleprovideuswithopportunitiestodisplaycompassion.Thereisanaturalhumantendencytoinvestcopiousamountsofemotionalenergyinminordilemmasandfrustrationsinordertoavoidconfrontingthosemorecomplexissuesthatarelargelyoutsidetherealmofourcontrol.Theintensityofourresponseprovidesuswithatemporarysenseofpersonalpowerthathelpsuscopewithchallengesthatmightotherwiseoverwhelmus.Butitisonlywhenweletthelittlestuffgothatwediscoverthatthebigstuffisnotreallysodevastatingafterall.Inthestressofasingularlytenseincident,differentiatingbetweenaninconsequentialannoyanceandalegitimatechallengecanseemamonumentaltask.Askyourselfwhethertheemotionsyouarefeelingwillbeasvividinayear,aday,orevenanhour.Asfocusedasyouareonthismomentintime,yourrewardforlettinggoofyouremotionalinvestmentmaybetheveryhappinessandharmonyofbeingwhoselossyouarelamenting.Needlessaggravationisseldomworththecostitexacts.Youcannotdistanceyourselffromlife'sinconsistencies,irritations,andupheavals,butyoucanrelinquishyourdesireforperfectorderandgainpeaceofmindintheprocess.

Tuesday:LivingLifeWithTrust

Whenwecontinuallyliveourlifewithasafetynetitcreatesabarriertoour

freedom.Aswecreatethelifeofourdreams,weoftenreachacrossroadswherethechoicesseemtoinvolvetheriskoffacingtheunknownversusthesafetyandcomfortofallthatwehavecometotrust.Wemayfeellikeatightropewalker,carefullyteeteringalongthenarrowpathtoourgoals,sometimesfeelingthatwearedoingsowithoutanet.Knowingwehavesomebackupmayhelpusworkupthecouragetotakethosefirststeps,untilwearesecureinknowingthatwehavetheskillstoworkwithoutone.Butwhenweliveourlivesfromaplaceofbalanceandtrustintheuniverse,wemaynotseeoursourceofsupport,butwecanknowthatitisthere.Ifwerefusetoactonlyifwecanseethesafetynet,wemaybeallowingthenettobecomeatrapasitcreatesabarrierbetweenusandthefreedomtopursueourgoals.Changeisinherentinlife,soevenwhatwehavelearnedtotrustcansurpriseusatanymoment.Removefearfromtheequationandthen,withoutevenwonderingwhatisgoingonbelow,wecandevoteourfullattentiontothedreamthatawaitsus.Weattractsupportintoourliveswhenwearewillingtomakethosefirsttentativesteps,trustingthattheuniversewillprovideexactlywhatweneed.Inthatprocesswecandecidethatwhatevercomesfromouractionsisonlyforourhighestandbestexperienceofgrowth.Itmaycomeintheformofasoftlanding,anunexpectedrescueoraneye-openingexperiencegleanedonlyfromtheprocessoffalling.Soratherthanallowingourlivestobedictatedbyfearoftheunknown,ortryingtoavoidfalling,wecanappreciatethatsometimesweexperiencelifefullywhenwearewillingtotrustandfall.Andindoingso,wemayjustfindthatwehavethewingstofly.Whenwebelievethatthereisareasonforeverything,wearesteppingoutwiththesafetynetoftheuniverse,andweknowwewillmakethebestfromwhatevercomesourway.

Wednesday:AWorldinConfusionWhentheworldisinchaos,wecanstillhaveourowninnerpeaceandmaintain

asenseofcalminaseaofunrest.Peoplewhomaintaintheirsenseofcalmwhenthingsaroundthemareinastateoffluxandconfusionarealwayswonderfultobearound.Wefeelcalmerjustbeingnearthem,asiftheyhaveactivatedourownsenseofinnerpeace.Fromthemwelearnthatwecanbecalm,evenwheneverythingaroundusisinturmoil,becauseweknowthatnomatterwhathappens,thisinnersenseofcalmwillhelpustofunctionwell.Often,timesofconfusionarethetimesthatenableustofindthatpartofourselvesthatknowshowtocope,andhowtobealighttoothersinthestorm.Ifweallowourselvestobethrownoffbalancebyeverypieceofdisturbingnewsthatcomesourway,wemayberelyingtoomuchonouremotions.Ontheotherhand,ourthoughtsmayalsobeunreliableattimeslikethese,astheychatteronendlesslyaboutwhatmighthappennext.Ifourfeelingsandthoughtsactivateoneanotherinahecticway,thenwebecomecaughtupintheconfusionthatsurroundsus.However,ifwecanlocatethestillnessatthecenterofourhearts,wecanfindcomposureinalmostanysituation.Inaddition,weprovideasafeplaceforourfriendsandfamily,whoarealsopronetotakingontheconfusionofaworldinflux.Ithelpstorememberthatwedon'tneedtocompletelyunderstandwhat'shappeningrightnow,nordoweneedtobeabletopredictthefuture.Mostofusjustwanttofindourwaytobeingatpeacewithwhateverhappens,andwecanfindthispeaceinside.Cultivatingourinnerclaritywithmeditation,journaling,andreadingwordsthatinspireus,willleadustothatplaceinsideusthat'salreadythere,justwaiting.

Thursday:YouHaveAlltheAnswersWithinYou

Whenyourealizethatyoualwayshavetheanswerswithinyourself,youcanstopsearchingoutsideofyourself.

Manyofusseektheanswerstolife'squestionsbylookingoutsideofourselvesandtryingtogleanadvicefromthepeoplearoundus.Butaseachofusisunique,withourownpersonalhistories,ourownsenseofrightandwrong,andourownwayofexperiencingtheworldthatdefinesourrealities,lookingtoothersforouranswersisonlypartiallyhelpful.Theanswerstoourpersonalquestionscanbemostoftenfoundbylookingwithin.Whenyourealizethatyoualwayshaveaccesstothepartofyouthatalwaysknowswhatyouneedandismeanttoactasyourinnercompass,youcanstopsearchingoutsideofyourself.Ifyoucanlearntohear,trust,andembracethewisdomthatliveswithinyou,youwillbeabletoconfidentlynavigateyourlife.Trustingyourinnerwisdommaybeawkwardatfirst,particularlyifyougrewuparoundpeoplewhotaughtyoutolooktoothersforanswers.Weeachhaveexclusiveaccesstoourinnerknowing.Allwehavetodoisrememberhowtolisten.Remembertobepatientasyourelearnhowtohear,receive,andfollowyourownguidance.Ifyouareunsureaboutwhetherfollowingyourinnerwisdomwillprovereliable,youmaywanttothinkofatimewhenyoudidtrustyourownknowingandeverythingworkedout.Recallhowtheanswerscametoyou,howtheyfeltinyourbodyasyouconsideredthem,andwhathappenedwhenyouacteduponthisguidance.Now,recallatimewhenyoudidn'ttrustyourselfandtheresultsdidn'tworkoutasyouhadhoped.Trustingyourownguidancecanhelpyouavoidgoingagainstwhatyouinstinctivelyknowisrightforyou.Whenyousecondguessyourselfandgoagainstwhatyouknowtobeyourtruth,youcaneasilygooffcoursebecauseyouarenolongerfollowingyourinnercompass.Bylookinginsideyourselffortheanswerstoyourlife'squestions,youareconsultingyourbestguide.Onlyyoucanknowthehow'sandwhy'sofyourlife.Theanswersthatyouseekcanbefoundwhenyoustartansweringyourownquestions.

Friday:Life'sScales

Abalancedlifestyleissimplyastateofbeinginwhichonehastimeandenergyforobligationsandpleasures.

Likepiecesofapuzzle,themanydifferentaspectsofyourbeingcometogethertoformthepersonthatyouare.Youworkandplay,restandexpendenergy,communewithyourbodyandsoul,exaltinjoy,andfeelsorrow.Balanceisthestatethatyouachievewhenalloftheaspectsofyourlifeandselfareinharmony.Yourlifeforceflowsinastateofequilibriumbecausenothingfeelsoutofsync.Whilebalanceisnecessarytohaveasatisfying,energetic,andjoyfullife,onlyyoucandeterminewhatbalancemeanstoyou.Achievingbalancerequiresthatyouassesswhatisimportanttoyou.Themanydemandsofmodernlifecanpushustomakechoicesthatcanputusoffbalanceandhaveadetrimentaleffectonourhabits,relationships,health,andcareer.Increatingabalancedlifestyle,youmustascertainhowmuchtimeandenergyyouarewillingtodevotetothedifferentareasofyourlife.Todoso,imaginethatyourlifeisahousemadeupofmanyrooms.Drawthishouse,giveeachpartofyourlifeitsownroom,andsizeeachroomaccordingtotheamountofimportanceyouassigntothataspectofyourlife.Youcanincludefamily,solitude,activitiesthatbenefitothers,healthyeating,indulgences,exerciseandworkingonself.Youmaydiscoverthatcertainelementsofyourlifetakeupaninordinateamountoftime,energy,oreffortandleaveyouwithfewresourcestonurturetheotheraspectsofyourlife.Youmaywanttospendlesstimeontheseactivitiesandmoreontheonesthatfulfillyou.

Saturday:AnticipatingtheGood

Changewilloccurinalmosteveryaspectofourlives,wecanlearntoembraceitwhilereleasingthepastwithgrace.

Whenwefindourselvesgoingthroughanykindofchangeinourlives,ournaturalresponsemaybetotenseuponthephysical,mental,oremotionallevel.Wemaynotevennoticethatwehavebracedourselvesagainstashiftuntilwerecognizetheanxiety,moodswings,orgeneralworriedfeelingtowardtheunknownthatusuallyresults.Therearepositivewaystomovethroughchangewithoutpushingitaway,however,orattemptingtodenythatitishappening.Sincechangewilloccurinalmosteveryaspectofourlives,wecanlearntomakeourresponsetoitanaffirmativeoneofanticipation,welcomingthenewwhilereleasingthepastwithgrace.Onethingwecandoischangeourperspectivebychangingthelabelsweusetoidentifyourfeelings.Wecanreinterpretfeelingsofanxietyastheanxiousbutterfliesthatcomewitheagerexpectation.Withthisshift,webegintolookforthegoodthatisonitswaytous.Thoughwemayonlybeabletoimaginethepossibilities,whenweacknowledgethatgoodisthereforustofind,wefocusourenergyonjoyfulanticipationandbringitintoourexperiencewhileallowingthefeelingstocarryusforward.Wecanalsochoosetodoaceremonytoallowouremotionstoprocess.Everyculturehascreatedceremoniestohelppeoplemakethetransitionfromonephaseoflifetothenext.Wecanalwayscreateaceremonytoo,perhapsbyburningwrittenthoughtstowatchthesmokecarrythemaway,therebyreleasingthem,orwecanwelcomenewendeavorsbyplantingflowersortrees.Someceremonialactivitiessuchasafarewellsend-offorhousewarmingparty,wemaydoautomatically.Societyalsohasbuilt-inceremonies,likegraduationandweddings,whichmaysatisfytheneedwefeel.Sometimestheshiftfromdenialtoacceptanceisallthatisneededtoeaseouranxiety,allowingustobringourmemorieswithusaswemovethroughnervousnesstojoyfulexcitementaboutthegoodtocome.

Sunday:SeeingOurselves

Manyofusdonottakethetimetonoticeandacknowledgehowbeautifulweareashumans.

Manyofusdonottakethetimetonoticeandacknowledgehowbeautifulweareashumans.Wemaybegreatloversofbeauty,seeingitinthepeople,places,andthingsaroundus,whilecompletelymissingitinourselves.Someofusfeelthatitisvaintoconsiderourappearancetoomuch,orwemayfindthatwhenwelookatourselves,allweseeareimperfections.Oftenwecometothemirrorwithexpectationsandpreconceivednotionsaboutbeautythatblindusfromseeingourselvesclearly.Asaresult,wemissthebeautythatisclosesttous,thebeautyweare.Sometimesweseeourbeautyinashallowway,noticinghowwellweareconformingtosocialnorms,butfailingtoseethedeeperbeautythatshinesoutfromwithinandthatwillcontinuetoshineregardlessofhowwemeasureuptosociety'sideal.Ifwecancutthroughalltheseobstaclesandsimplyappreciatehowbeautifulweare,wefreeupsomuchenergy.Wealsobecomelessdependentupontheopinionsandfeedbackofotherssincewebecomeourowngreatestadmirers.Manyofusknowthatafteragreatyogapracticeoralong,deepmeditation,wearemoreabletoseehowbeautifulweare.Thisisbecausewehavereleasedsomeofourbaggage,thusunburdeningourselvesandsummoningforththespiritthatdwellswithinus.Itistheheadycombinationofthedivinespiritandthehumanbodythatconveysbeautymoreaccuratelythananythingelse.Tokeepourselvesintouchwithourownbeauty,wecansurroundourselveswithimagesthatreflectourbeautybacktous--photosofarelativeorchildwhohasoureyes,imagesofteacherswhoembodyspirit,orself-portraitsthatcaptureouressenceinawaythatallowsustoseeourselvesanew.Thebestwaytokeepourselvesintouchwithourownbeautyistokeeplookingdeeplyintoourownsoulsandopeningoureyestothehumanbeingweseeinthemirroreveryday.

“Iloveyouverymuch.You’relikeasnowflakefloatinginthesky.It’sabeautifulday.Grassisgreen.Thetreesaredifferentcolors.Youaresosweet.”–Ralph2003

Ralph’spaintingofaperfectday,November2016