report u can win

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ABOUT THE BOOK:

You can win is first book from Shiv Khera. The book highlights the

principles one need to follow to become successful. The book is in very

simple and lucid language .It is full of everyday life examples, short

stories and anecdotes intended to drive home the key points that form

the crux of book and help to retain the interest. It lays emphasis on how

to live rather than how to make a living. It is an international bestseller.

OTHER BOOKS TO HIS CREDIT:

1.You can do it (April 2001)

2.Theres no free lunch (April 2001)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

An educator, business consultant, much sought after

speaking & successful entrepreneur, Shiv wears many hats. He inspires &

informs people, helping them to realize their true potential. He has taken

his dynamic personal messages to opposite sides of the globe, from US to

Singapore & to India. His common sense approach & deeply held beliefs

have motivated countless thousands to re-evaluate their attitudes. His 20

years of research, understanding & experience has helped people on the

path of personal growth & fulfillment. He also has appeared in many radio

& TV shows.

Shiv conducts several seminars & workshops on attitude building,

ambitions, positive thinking, trust building, success & also neurolinguistic

programs. However this route to success was not easy. It was full of

struggle.

Failed in the 10th standard and barely made as a commerce graduate

Migrated to Canada

Got a job of washing cars and later sold life insurances

The manager fired him

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The young insurance seller starts reading self help books and attends

seminars

Gradual transformation from a shy youngster to a confident speaker!!

Launched THE QUALIFIED LARNING SYSTEM headquarter at New Jersey

Pioneer of the concept of Total Quality People Popular clients of this

eloquent orator: Lufthansa, Hughes Corporation, ANZ Grindlays Bank-

all desperate to increase their profits and productivity

Spent 25 years outside India Still holds the Indian passport-A proud

Indian

But embarrassed to be from the 7th most corrupt country of the

world!!!

ATTITUDE: How you think

The foundation of success regardless of a chosen field is your

attitude. Attitude is the most important word in English language.

Williams James of Harvard University said, The greatest discovery of my

gene ration is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their

attitudes of mind. Our attitude determines how we look at a setback. To a

positive thinker, it can be a stepping-stone to success. To a negative

thinker, it can be a stumbling block.

DAVID AND GOLIATH

There was a giant who was bullying and harassing the children in village.

One day, a 17-year old shepherd boy came to visit his brothers and

asked, Why dont you stand up and fight the giant? The brothers wereterrified and they replied, Dont you see he is too big to hit? But David

said, No, he is not too big to hit, he is too big too miss. The rest is

history. David killed the giant with sling. Same giant, different

perception.

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If you believe you can or you cant you are right

- Henry Ford

As clear from the above story David believed he can and he was right

while his brothers in village believed they cant and they too were right.

Factors that determine our attitude: Environment, Experience &

Education.

There are people of both positive & negative attitude. But a

person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He is always

welcome. The author insists on building a positive attitude.

STEPS IN BUILDING POSITIVE ATTITUDE:

1. CHANGE FOCUS LOOK FOR POSITIVE:

Author says we need to become good finders. We need to focus

on the positive in life. Because of our conditioning, we are so attuned to

finding fault and looking for what is wrong that we forget to see the

positive picture. Positive lookout can do wonders for us

THOMAS ALVA EDISON

In 1914, Thomas Alva Edison at age of 67 lost his factory, which was

worth a few million dollars to fire. But Edison was unfazed. He

said There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burnt up. Thank

god we can start a new. Three weeks later he invented phonograph.

What an attitude he had.

2. Make habit of doing it now:

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Education does not mean only intellectual education or academic

education. It also means value or moral education. Intellectual education

trains your head while value education trains your heart.

WINNERS V/S LOOSERS:

Winner is always part of the answer

Loser is always part of the problem

Winner says let me do it for you

Loser says, Thats not my job

Winner sees the gain

Loser sees the pain

Winner says, I must do something

Loser says, Something must be done

Winners make it happen

Losers let it happen

Thus winners plan & prepare to win. The key word is preparation. This

book

is all about how to win. Be a winner & then the world is yours. Thus you

can

prepare your win with all above steps.

MOTIVATION: spark that propel you into action

Motivation can be defined as a spark that can persuade, convince and

propel

You into action

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Motivation is something that encourages action or feeling & inspires us.

Motivation is like fire, unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Motivation

can come from various sources internal like recognition and responsibility,

sense of achievement, pride etc or from external sources like fear,

monetary incentives etc. Even a challenge can motivate a person. The

greatest motivation comes from persons belief system. When the

motivation is from within the person becomes self motivated.

Motivation and Inspiration:

Even though the words motivation and inspiration are used

interchangeably they are not the same. Inspiration is changing thinking

while motivation is changing action. Inspiration is what gets a person

started; motivation is what keeps him on track.

Demotivating factors:

The factors that demotivate us are:

Unfair criticism

Negative criticism

Public humiliation

Lack of direction

Low self esteem

SELF ESTEEM: how we feel about ourselves

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Self-

esteem is our self-concept. Our self-esteem influences

everything from our performance at work, our

relationship to our accomplishments in life. Never loose

your self-esteem because a person who cannot respect

himself cannot expect to be respected by others.

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No one can make you feel inferior without yourpermission

-Eleanor RooseveltHIGH AND LOW SELF- ESTEEM.

High self esteem leads to a happy, gratifying &

purposeful life. Unless you perceive yourself as

worthwhile, you cannot have high self-esteem.

Advantages of high self-esteem: builds strong conviction,

creates willingness to accept responsibility, makes us

ambitious etc.

Some characteristics of people with:

High self esteem Low self esteemTalk about ideas Talk about peopleHumility ArroganceConfidence ConfusionAssertive AggressiveDiscuss Argue

THEY PUT ON A MASK

A person with poor self-esteem was promoted by a

company but he couldnt reconcile himself to his new

office and position. There was a knock at his door. To

show how important and busy he was, he picked up the

phone and then asked the visitor to come in. As the man

waited for the executive, the executive keep talking on

the phone, nodding and saying, No problem, I can

handle that. After a few minutes he hung up and asked

the visitor what he could he do for him? The man replied,

Sir, Im here to connect your phone.

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What is the moral of story? People with poor self esteem

pretend on other hand people with high self esteem dont

compete with others; Instead they improve their own

performance. They compete against themselves. They

compare their performance against their own capabilities.

STEPS TO BUILD POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM:

1. Turn scars into stars:

There are real life stories of people who have

turned their negative into positive, adversity into

advantage, stumbling blocks into stepping-stones. These

people refused to let disappointment and failures pull

them down.

Beethoven composed some of the best music. What was

his handicap? He was deaf. Some of the best poetry

written on nature was written by Milton. What was his

handicap? He was blind. One of the greatest world

leaders was US president Franklin D Roosevelt. What was

his handicap? He served from wheelchair.

2. Learn intelligent ignorance:

Education teaches us what we can do and also

teaches us what we cannot do. The problem is that when

we know the things we cant do automatically we set us

false limitations against our capabilities .So it is alwaysbetter to not know what cannot be done. i.e. is to learn

intelligent ignorance

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I m looking for lot of men with an infinite capacity for

not knowing what cannot be done.

- Henry Ford

THE BUMBLEBEE

We need to learn from nature. According to scientists, the

bumblebees body is too heavy and its wingspan too

small. Aerodynamically, the bumblebee cannot fly. But

the bumblebee doesnt know that and it keeps flying.

2. Set goals:

Well defined goals give a person a sense of

direction, a feeling of accomplishment when he reaches

his goals. What we get upon achieving our goals is a lot

less important than what we become. It is the becoming

which gives us a good feeling. That is what self-esteem is

all about.

In goal setting, we need to be realistic.

Unrealistic goals remain unaccomplished, leading to poor

self-esteem, whereas realistic goals are encouraging and

build high self-esteem

4. Give yourself positive Auto-suggestions:

Develop the habit of giving your self positiveself-talk. Auto suggestions alter our belief system by

influencing the subconscious mind. Hence auto-

suggestions affect our behaviour by influencing our belief

system. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

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INTERPERSONAL SKILLS: all about pleasing

personality

Interpersonal skills are all about pleasing

personality. A pleasing personality can be defined as

combination of persons attitude, behaviour and

expression. A pleasing personality is easy to recognize

but hard to define. It is one of the key ingredients for

success. Because it gives you ability to deal with people

I will pay more for ability to deal with people than any

other ability under sun

-John

Rockefeller

STEPS IN BUILDING PLEASING PERSONALITY

1 Accept responsibility:

Responsible behaviour is to accept

accountability and that represents maturity. Acceptance

of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude and the

environment we operate in. A person who does not

accept responsibility is not absolved from being

responsible.

Stop the blame game

Johnny said, Mama Jimmy broke the window. Mama

asked, How did he do it? Johnny replied, I threw a

stone at him and he ducked.

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You must accept responsibilities not only for the your

own actions but also of the society because,

For evil to flourish good people have to do nothing and evil

shall flourish

-

Edmund Burke

2. Choose your words carefully:

Words that you speak are very important

because these are not simply the words but they are

reflection of your attitude. Choose what you say rather

than say what you choose.

Spoken words cant be retrieved

A farmer slandered his neighbour. Realizing his mistake,

he went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The

preacher told him to take a bag of feathers and drop

them in the centre town. The farmer did as he was told.

Then the preacher asked him to go and collect the

feathers and put them in back in the bag. The farmer

tried but couldnt as the feathers had all blown away.

When he returned with the empty bag, the preacher said,The same thing is true about the words. You dropped

them rather easily but cannot retrieve them, so be very

careful in choosing in your words.

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3. Dont criticize and complain:

When the author says dont criticize he refers to

negative criticism. Positive criticism comes with desire to

help. As long as criticizing does not give pleasure to giver

its okay. The person who gives positive criticism

Criticize the performance and not the performer.

Criticism is like giving medication. The

medication should be right mixture with perfect dosage.

Too much will have adverse effect and too little will be

ineffective.

On the other hand you must also be able to receive

criticism. An inability to receive constructive criticism is a

sign of poor self-esteem. You may sometime feel that you

are criticized unjustly but remember that unjust criticism

is actually a compliment in disguise. Take criticism in

right spirit, with open mind and learn from it.

The problem with most people is that they would rather

be praised and lose than be criticized and win.

4. Discuss but dont argue:

Argument is nothing but a battle of inflated egos

and it results in yelling contest. Argument can be avoided

and lot of heartache prevented by being little carefully.

The best way to win an argument is to avoid it because If

you win you lose; If you lose, You lose. What is Difference

Between an Argument and a Discussion?

An argument throws heat; a discussion throws light

One stems from ego and a closed mind whereas the

other comes from an open mind.

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An argument is an exchange of ignorance whereas a

discussion is an exchange of knowledge.

An argument is expression of temper whereas

discussion is expression of logic.

An argument tries to prove who is right whereas

discussion tries to prove what is right.

I learned a lot time ago never to wrestle with a pig. You

get dirty and besides, the pig like it.

- CRYUS CHING

Steps to opening a discussion:

Be open minded.

Listen to other persons point of view before you give

your own.

Ask questions to clarify.

Dont make a prestige issue.

Use soft words without hurting anyone.

5. Practice honesty, Integrity and sincerity:

Honesty means to be genuine and real versus fake and

fictitious. Honesty inspires openness, reliability, and

frankness. It shows respect for ones self and others Be

sincere and the world will respect you. Never loose your

credibility. Honesty requires firmness and commitment.

Integrity in reflection of persons character.

A pound of butter

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There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to baker.

One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if

he was getting a pound and he found that he was not.

This angered him and he took the farmer to the court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.

The farmer replied, Your Honor, I am primitive. I dont

have a proper measure, but I do have a scale. The judge

asked, Then how do you weigh the butter? The farmer

replied Your honor, long before the baker started buying

butter from me, I have been buying a pond loaf of bread

from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I

put it on the scale and give him the same weight in

butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker. What is

the moral of story? We get back in life what we give to

others.

Make yourself an honest man and then you may be sure

there is one rascal less in world.

-THOMAS CARLYLE

6. Develop sense of humor:

The first thing to be done to develop sense of

humor is to learn to laugh at yourself. It gives you energy

to bounce back. Sense of humor makes person likable

and attractive.

Humor can be valuable or dangerous depending

on whether you are laughing with someone or someone.

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SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND HABITS

What we do repeatedly get into subconscious

mind and then they become habits. i.e. we do these

things repeatedly without much thinking or unknowingly.

For example when for first time we learn how to ride a

bike we every time think before shifting gears. But as we

do this repetitively these actions get into our

subconscious mind and then they become automatic.

Our subconscious mind the GIGO PRINCIPLE

The computer phrase GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) is

very sound.

Negative in; Negative out.

Positive in; Positive out.

Good in; good out.

Our input equals to our output.

Our subconscious mind is like a garden. It does not care

what you plant. It does not discriminate. It is neutral; it

has now preferences. If you plant good seeds you will get

good garden otherwise you will have wild growth.

Remember,

Our thought lead to action;

Action leads to habits;

Habit leads to characterAnd character leads to destiny.

How to build positive habits?

The author suggests the means of Auto-

Suggestion as key to building positive habits

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An Auto-Suggestion is a statement made in present

tense of the kind of person you want to be. Auto-

Suggestion is like writing a commercial to yourself, about

yourself, for yourself. It is a way to program and condition

the mind to make a statement into self-fulfilling

prophecy.

Examples

Ive a good memory

I am good in economics.

However Auto-Suggestion should not be practiced in

negative way for example I do not have a bad memory.

VALUES AND ETHICS: the principles we believe in

Values are things, people, concepts and feeling that you

rate most highly in your life. Before setting your goals

you must know your values because a conflict may

otherwise arise between values and goals. When there is

a conflict between values and goals then even though

you have achieved your goal you will have a feeling of

emptiness and this lack of satisfaction can deter you from

setting new goals.

An integral part of good value system is

commitment. Commitment does not mean sticking to

something when a person has no choice. It means

sticking in spite of choices. Commitment implies puttingthe other persons needs ahead of ones own.

No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor

has been the reward for what he gave

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-

Calvin Coolidge

Ethics are principles you believe in. Ethics are

universal. Those who believe ethics cannot be

generalized but vary with every situation, comes up with

justification and keep changing their ethics from situation

to situation, and person to person. This is called

situational ethics. This is ethics of conveniences than

conviction.

Winning and Winner:

What is difference between winning and being a winner?

Winning is a event. Being a winner is a spirit. Winners

have kept winning in perspective based on their value

system.

Lawrence Lemieux

Olympics is a life time event. Lawrence Lemieux stoppedracing in a yacht race to help a fellow competitor who

was in trouble. The whole world was watching. His priority

of safety for other peoples lives was greater than his

desire to win. Even though he did not win the race, he

was a winner. He was honoured by kings and queens all

over the word because he kept the spirit of Olympics

alive.

GOAL SETTING: dream with deadline and action

plan

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Goals are dreams or desires which you want to

achieve in certain time frame. i.e. Goals are dreams with

a deadline and action plan.

Why goal setting and goals are important?

Knowledge allows you to reach your destination

provided that you know where the destination is. Clear

goals gives a sense of direction and tell you where the

destination is. Merely goal setting is not sufficient. Unless

we focus we cannot achieve our goal. On best sunny day,

the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if

you keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it,

the paper will light up. Similarly unless and until steam is

confined it will not able to drive a steam engine. Such a

power is of concentration.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you

take your eyes of your goal.

- HENRY FORD

Goal setting is important but goals should not be

meaningless.

Meaningless goals

A farmer had a dog who used to sit by the roadsidewaiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one come

he would run down the road, barking and trying to

overtake it. One day neighbour asked the farmer. Do

you think your dog is ever going to catch a car? The

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farmer replied, That is not what bothers me. What

bothers me is what he would if he ever caught one.

SMART GOALS:

Author says that goals should be SMART

S Specific.

M Measurable.

A Achievable.

R - Realistic

T - Time bound

ALIGNING GOALS WITH VALUES:

It is of utmost importance that goals are aligned with

your value system. If there is a conflict between values

and goals then even though you have achieved your

goal you will have a feeling of emptiness and this lack of

satisfaction can deter you from setting new goals.

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DREAM LIST

GOAL LIST

YOUR ACTION

PLAN

COMPARE AN

ALIGN

YOUR VALUE

SUSTEM

YOUR

REVISED GOAL

LIST

YOUR ACTION

PLAN


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SUCCESS: Progressive realisazation of a worthy goal

Success is relatively a subjective term. Thedefinition of success differs from person to person. Shiv

Khera adopts a definition of success given by Earl

Nightingale

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Success is progressive realization of a worthy

goal.

- Progressive means it is a journey and not a

destination. After we reach one goal we go on to the

next and the next and the next.

- Realization means it comes from within. Nobody other

than you can make you feel successful. It is internal not

external

- Worthy refers to our value system. Which way you are

heading? Positive or negative? Worthiness determines

the quality of journey. That is what gives meaning and

fulfillment. Success without fulfillment is empty.

Success is not an accident. It is result of our attitude

and our attitude is choice. Hence success is matter of

choice and not chance. Success is not measured by how

much we go up in life but how many times we bounce

back when we fell down.

Success lies in philosophy of sustain and abstain.

Sustain what needs to be done and abstain from what is

detrimental. It is like baking a cake. Unless you have

just the right recipe, it is not going to work. The

ingredients must of the finest quality and in right

proportions. You cant overbake it or undercook it.

Shiv Khera says, Winners dont do different things.

They do things differently.

Every success story is story of great failures. Successful

people have more failures than the failures.

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ABRAHAM LINCON A SUCCESS STORY

At 21, failed in business

At 22, was defeated in legislative race

At 24, failed again in business

At 26, overcame death of his sweetheart

At 27, had a nervous breakdown

At 34, lost congressional race

At 45, lost a senatorial race

At 47, became vice precident

At 49, again lost senatorial race

At 52, became president of USA

There are examples of people like Kalpana Chawla the

first Indian women astronaut who succeeded in spite of

problems and not in absence of problems.

Life is full of choices and compromises:There is a contradiction here. If life is full of choices,

where is the question of compromises? But even a

compromise is a choice. Choices have consequences.

We are free to make our choices but we have chosen

choice control us. We can choose our attitude even

though we cant choose our circumstances.

The sailboat

On a clear day, there are hundreds of boats sailing in all

different directions in lake. How come? Even though the

wind is blowing in one direction, the sail boats are going

in different directions. What is the difference? It

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depends on the way the sail is set, and that is

determined by the sail. The same is true of our lives. We

cant choose the direction of the wind but we can

choose how we set sail.

Qualities that make a person successful:

1. Desire:

A burning desire is starting point of all

accomplishments. Just like a small fire cannot give

much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great result.

2. Commitment:

Integrity and wisdom are two pillars on which to

build and keep commitments. Integrity is keeping your

commitment even if you loose money and wisdom is not

to make such foolish commitments. Playing to win

requires commitment. There is a big difference between

playing to win and playing not to lose. Playing to win

comes from inspiration while playing not to lose come

from desperation.

3. Hard work:

Hard work is key for success. There is no

substitute for hard work. Hard work is beginning and

end in itself. The harder a person works, the better he

feels; and the better he feels, the harder he works.

If people know how hard I had work to gain my

mastery, it wouldnt seem wonderful at all.

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-

Michelangelo

4. Character:

Character is sum of persons values, beliefs and

personality. It is combination of integrity, unselfishness,

understanding, conviction, courage, loyalty and respect.

It is reflected in our behaviour in our Action. Just like

carbon determines quality of steel, character

determines quality of man. Character building starts

from infancy and goes on till death.

PREPERATION IS NECESSARY EDGE TO SUCEED IN

ANY FIELD.

Everyone has a will to win but very few have a will to

prepare a win.

PREPARATION = PURPOSE + PRINCIPLE + PLANNING +

PRACTICE + PERSEVERENCE + PATIENCE + PRIDE.

Preparation leads to confidence

Preparation means tolerating failure but never accepting

it. It means having the courage to face defeat without

feeling defeated, being disappointed without being

discouraged.

Preparation means learning from our mistakes. There

is nothing wrong with making mistakes. We all do. A fool

is one who makes the same mistake twice. A person who

makes mistake and doesnt correct it, commits a bigger

one.

Reasons for failure:

Unwillingness to take risk

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Lack of persistence

Instant gratification

Selfishness and greed

Lack of conviction

Failure to understand natures law

Lack of discipline

Lack of purpose

Visualization:

Visualization is the process of creating a mental

picture of what you want to happen as it has alreadyhappened. The speed with which you achieve your goals

is directly related to how clearly and often you are able to

visualize your goals

The power of visualization is a strong motivator.

Its like adding after burner to a jet engine. Visualization

takes your mind from good performance into high

performance. Visualizing a goal is like giving direct order

to your mind to apply its full power to goals

accomplishment.

ANALYSIS:

Comparison with SUPERSELF by Charles J Givens

Charles J Givens believes in philosophy of

Winning is everything. He says a person who says

winning isnt everything has probably never won

anything. On the other hand Shiv Khera believes in

winning but winning fairly, squarely, decently by the rules

Charles J Givens says my success strategies will

propel you to success. He uses word my again and

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again. This gives an impression of bossy attitude. On

other hand Shiv Khera is very modest in his approach. He

says, I dont motivate people. It is only the people who

motivate themselves and achieve success.

In Superself most of the examples are from

personal authors personal life. While in You Can Win the

examples are based on real life observations and facts.

The book is in very simple language. It is full of

interesting examples that help to retain the interest

The book gives lot of social messages be it be

regarding ill effects of smoking, drinking alcohol, or use of

pornography

Though this book too is one of those self-help,

Inspirational and feel good- pep-talk kind of a book,

and hardly contains any unknown secrets or mystery

remedies, but one feels good after reading the book.

Shivs style of narration, language, conviction and firm

belief as well as his sincerity, makes it worth while

experience.

It is not a type of book to be read in a single

sitting. You have to go through each and every chapter

carefully. You are supposed to follow the action plan

given after every chapter. This is the unique feature of

the book

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BIBLIOGRAPHY:

1.SHIV KHERA, YOU CAN WIN,1998,MACMILLAN

INDIA LIMITED

2.CHARLES J GIVENS, SUPERSELF,1993,SIMON

AND SCHUSTER

3.PRAMOD BATRA, BORN TO WIN,2002,FULL

CIRCLE

4.WWW.SHIVKHERA.COM

.

5. WWW.GOOGLE.COM

6.WWW.AMAZON.COM

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