sophie woman's magazine oct 2010 issue

Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010 pg 1 Volume 6 - Issue 8October 2010

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Susan Sterling with the Union Square Emporum, Downtown Hickory

I’m A Hero pg 19

Waiting For A Dream pg 53

Planning A Backyard Wedding pg 54

pg 2 Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010

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Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010 pg 3

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from the

sophiewomansmagazine.com

by Judy Smith

Message

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One of our contributing writers shares with us this month something very personal and close to her heart. I can tell you that it touched my heart for a lot of different reasons. She longs for more children to love and I understand that. I always wanted a house full but was not able to do that. God has blessed me in a lot of ways through, to fill that emptiness in my heart. Her article really made me wonder about where that yearning comes from for a lot of children. I am sure it is a lot of different things for different people. One reason, I think for me was, I was the oldest of five siblings and I was the only girl. It did not bother me with the first couple of boys born after me but then I desperately wanted a sister. The fourth child comes along and another boy. That was not fair…I wanted a sister. When my mom was pregnant for the fifth time, well, I just knew this one had to be my baby sister. It just had to be. There was a lot of anger in me, when my Grandmother told us it was a boy. “Don’t even bring him home from the hospital” was what came out of my mouth. They did bring him home and the “mothering” part in me just took over. I loved him most of all and I would tell my parents he was my baby. How amazing it was to put his little bitty hand in my bigger hand and know that I was to keep him safe. How incredible that I could make him laugh or even more so that he could make me cry just because he was hurting. However, as great as all that was, I never stopped wanting a sister. So, I was adopted! It is amazing that you can be adopted at 50 plus years. Plus, I was adopted by a family of “sisters”. That is what I call them when I talk about them. I say where are “the sisters” or are the “sisters” coming? There are four of them in my Sunday School class and they always sit together, shop together, celebrate together, come to each others rescue and even cry together. They also vacation together….and they invite me along! Just a few weeks ago we went to Swansboro, NC, for a few days. We stayed at my “adopted nephew’s” house. He is in the Marines and is in Afghanistan fighting for our Freedom. He and his men are constantly in harms way, so please pray for him. I had never been to that area of North Carolina before. How incredibly beautiful it is. We went to an Island that had the most beautiful beach I had ever seen. We picnicked, we talked, we walked, we talked, we played in the water and we talked. When we wasn’t at the beach, we shopped, we talked, we ate at great restaurants‘, we talked, we explored the area and we talked. They wore me out! BJ wanted to be up and out the doors at six in the morning and Trish and Sylvia wanted to explore at night and Billy wanted to shop all day. Me, I just wanted to soak it all up. How wonderful to have a bunch of sisters! Do you know how fast five “sisters” can clean a house? I am not talking spot clean nor am I talking about a small house. We had that thing knocked out in less than two hours, including all the laundry done, clean sheets on the beds, floors mopped and vacuumed, even the grass mowed. So now I have let my secret out. That is really why I wanted sisters. Just to help with the housework. Since I was the only girl, I had to do ALL of the housework, including, mowing the grass. “Sisters” are great! I love my “sisters” and I thank God for them. God always gives us what we need. I needed sisters and He gave me adopted ones for my heart. The thing is, we might have to be open to options and open our heart for the things God wants to fill it with. Just a note for my “sisters”. Thanks for adopting me and loving me. Now, will you come clean my house?


Contents

Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended forinformational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of informationpublished within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is acceptedwith the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole propertyof the advertiser.

21 East A StreetNewton, NC 28658(P) 828-466-0122(F) 828-466-0123

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Message From The Heart..........................................................................................pg 3Mandy’s Misadventures............................................................................................pg 7 Reaching Your Full Potential by Kim Fletcher.........................................................pg 8Tax Planning for the Average Joe Millionaire by Casey Winebarger......................pg 10Union Square Emporium.........................................................................................pg 12The Fly Lady: Let’s Go Out And Play....................................................................pg 15Nicole Greer: Sophisticated Women Are In Pursuit...............................................pg 16Hero by Michelle Johnson Major............................................................................pg 19The Male Box..........................................................................................................pg 20

Girlfriends In God...................................................................................................pg 23Truth & Beauty by Teresa Pope...............................................................................pg 24Susan Guest: Why Color Your World.....................................................................pg 25 The Front Porch.......................................................................................................pg 27The Sophie Shopper................................................................................................pg 28Dinner Diva.............................................................................................................pg 30Shutterbuggerz Feature............................................................................................pg 32 Saving Our Memories.............................................................................................pg 48Finding A Stable Position In An Unstable Market..................................................pg 51Waiting For A Dream by Amber Benge...................................................................pg 53Planning A Backyard Wedding...............................................................................pg 54


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Misadv en tur e sby Mandy ThomasMandy’s

In every picture of my youngest, Addison, can be found with the evi-dence of her greatest love. It can be seen on her cheeks, in the clutches of her tightly clenched fists, swiped on her knees and lodged in be-tween her toes. It comes in many shapes, flavors, textures and colors, and can be readily found, even at a stranger’s expense. My baby loves food. She doesn’t discriminate, either. She eats carrots with the same gusto with which she consumes ice cream. To-matoes dipped in dressing are applauded with the same excitement she reserves for Double Stuf Oreos. Well, maybe not. I’ve been torn between thinking it’s adorable and seriously concerned about childhood obesity. Most of the time it’s not a problem; I simply lock the pantry door and put the Double Stuf Oreos on the top shelf, out of reach. Then there was last night. We go to St. Augustine Beach every year with my whole family, cramming ourselves into a small condo and enjoying the beach almost as much as we do invad-ing each other’s personal spaces. Or maybe that’s just me and I really should leave my sister alone when she’s trying to sleep. Last night we had let the kids stay up a bit later than normal, having gone into the old city to eat dinner with some friends of ours. On a whim, we took the girls to the pool instead of tucking them straight into bed, letting them scream and splash for a good while before towing them back to the room. I should have known by the easiness with which Addison went down that something was not quite right. Usually she stays up, talking or singing to herself until she eventually tires and falls asleep midsentence or midsong, depending on the night. I just figured that maybe we had finally worn her out, and that she had passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Some day I’m going to learn not to trust my initial instincts where my children are concerned. A few hours later, we were all heading to our separate beds to sleep. Trying our best to be quiet since Addison was our roommate, Chris and I sneaked into our room. That’s when we noticed it. The drawers to the night-stand were pulled open and the contents emptied out, including the now suspiciously lighter looking bag of Tootsie Roll Pops I had hidden in there a few days earlier. Sure enough, when we peered into Addison’s pack and play, we found her dead asleep in a pile of half eaten suckers. At first, we only found two lollipops, but as we turned her over and re-positioned her (all of which she slept through) our tally kept getting higher and higher. By the time we had found the last sucker, and could compose ourselves enough to stop laughing and actually count, the total was nine. All of which had been partially eaten and thrown to the side, as Addison apparently sampled each and every lollipop she could reach. I guess I should start saving up now for sugar rehab. Or find a better hiding place.***


by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL:

Can You Imagine???“In opening our arms to another, we put out a welcome sign that implies we have made room for them inside ourselves… For that reason, to the degree we open our arms, we are changed.” ~The Healing Path by Dr. Dan Allender Can you imagine…

The excitement of a young boy going to live with his Grandmother for * the summer?Enjoying your new friends less than one week when evil men set out to * destroy you along with everyone and everything you hold dear?Watching over 500 of your villagers paraded into a large building and held * captive there until it was set on fire while you hide in a nearby bush?Surviving over 500 rounds of gunfire sent directly into that bush to kill * you?Hearing the sound of your new friends dying as their bodies surrendered * to the flames?Being left alone at the age of seven to run for your life through thick, * dangerous African bush?Being without food up to three months while surviving in the jungle?* Not knowing how to swim but having to cross the Nile River at one of * its widest points?Having to cross the Sahara Desert without shoes or water as you continue * to run from your predators?Ultimately surviving a trip while watching thousands die along the way, * a trip that took you months on foot from Southern Sudan to Ethiopia and onto Kenya, Africa?

This is NOT fiction! This is the real life story of my good friend Joseph Akoon, a true survivor who calls his story A Village On Fire. If you Google the phrase ‘Lost Boys of the Sudan’, you will find thousands of articles and media links that capture the unthinkable evils that befell Southern Sudan in the mid 1980’s when militia forces set out to destroy the entire country to gain political and religious control while terrorizing its people. What would you imagine that young boy to be like as a young man? One could easily expect a survivor of such horrific magnitude to grow up angry, disillusioned, and maybe even abusive himself. We wouldn’t even be surprised if we learned he was disabled by mental illness, clinical depression, and memories he could not escape. We don’t tend to expect much of individuals who have fallen victim along the way in our culture. They aren’t the ones we typically expect to get the promotion, to lead a global effort to end hunger and homelessness, to become a well-adjusted spouse and parent… and they certainly are not the ones we expect will end up teaching us how to live up to our own potential. But my friend Joseph refuses to waste his survival… he plans to keep changing his world!!! Of all the people I have ever met, Joseph has captured me as someone who has much to teach us about Reaching Our Full Potential. Joseph not only survived devastating loss, he has made the gut-wrenching decisions to keep moving forward, to keep hope alive and to live with a bigger picture in mind. Now a resident of High Point, NC, Joseph works a full time job and enjoys life with his beautiful wife (also a survivor of this tragedy) and his young daughter. He is full of faith and full of vision. Joseph candidly says, “If I can survive this, there is nothing God cannot bring you through.”

These days, Joseph lives with one priority eclipsing the rest… to raise awareness of the plight of his fellow countrymen who have seen almost no re-building of their homeland since the 1980’s and to keep them alive in the hearts of those who possess the resources to make a difference. He also plans to return home one day with resources in place that will provide technical education and jobs, while also ministering to those who now live with numerous disabilities caused by the attacks and the resultant years of living in poverty and oppression. What is really hard to imagine is that Joseph has become… · A man of faith, not fear.· A man of vision and a sound mind.· A contributing member of society.· A faithful, committed husband and father.· And now possesses the heart to build a bridge of hope between his new American brothers and sisters who possess abundant resources and the brave survivors of Southern Sudan. I am proud to have my African brother call me one of his ‘witnesses’ of his story. I am also thrilled to have the opportunity to give him a platform to share his story at our upcoming fall conference right here in Hickory, NC on October 16th. Please do not miss the chance to meet this fine man, hear his story and allow your family to be impacted by his vision. My great hope is to visit that Village on Fire with Joseph and his wife one day. Except this time, the fire won’t be the fire of war. It will be the heart’s fire of a man who has allowed his greatest tragedy to become his platform for changing his world.

CALL TODAY to register for our fall Awakening! Conference to be held on October 16th in Hickory featuring Joseph Akoon and four other dynamic speakers (828 327 6702). Tickets are $10.00 student ($20.00 at the door) and $20.00 adult ($30.00 at the door). Kim Fletcher possesses the heart of a mentor and friend. She exercises this passion daily as she journeys with her coaching clients toward greater fulfillment and significance. She invites you to contact her today to learn more about how a coaching relationship might impact your life or the life of someone you love. She offers a FREE 20-30 minute phone consultation. Email or call today: [email protected].

Pictured Above: Kim Fletcher, Director of Life Compass, Mercy Hope, Conference Director, and Joseph Akoon, Lost Boy of the Sudan


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As the saying goes, the only thing certain in life are death and taxes. With the Congressional elections coming up in November, taxes are hot topics on every news outlet and in everyone’s minds. Much of the tax talk focuses on several provisions of the Economic Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act (EGTRRA), passed by President Bush in 2001, that are set to expire on January 1, 2011. One such provision relates to the federal estate tax. The estate tax is a tax imposed upon the transfer of a deceased’s property at his or her death. The law allows a decedent to pass an unlimited amount of property to a surviving spouse tax-free. For property transferred to non-spouses, the law allows only a certain amount to pass tax-free. This amount is called the “unified credit amount” or the “estate tax exemption amount.” Under EGTRRA, the unified credit gradually increased each year, from $1 million in 2001 to $3.5 million in 2009. For this year only, the federal estate tax has actually been repealed, meaning a person dying in 2010 can pass an unlimited amount of assets completely estate tax-free. Unless Congress acts, the unified credit amount for 2011 will again return to $1 million on January 1. In addition, the estate tax rates will increase, subjecting estates over $1 million to a maximum 55% federal rate. What does that look like in real numbers? Take a $5 million estate, for example. In 2009, at the $3.5 million unified credit amount and a rate of 27%, the estate tax burden would have been about $675,000. In 2011, this same estate would owe estate tax of about $2 million.

With the decreased unified credit amount, estate tax is not just a concern for the wealthy anymore. The value of a home, retirement accounts, and life insurance policy easily put many people over the $1 million mark. The good news is that, with a little planning, you can minimize or even eliminate a future estate tax liability. First, you can start with lifetime gifting to reduce the amount passed at death. A person can currently give up to $13,000 per person per year gift-tax free. That amount doubles to $26,000 per person per year for married couples. Amounts above the annual exclusion are considered taxable gifts. Currently, each person can make up to $1 million in taxable gifts over a lifetime without owing gift tax. However, because the gift and estate tax systems are unified, use of the lifetime gift tax exemption also reduces the unified credit amount

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available at death. Recipients of gifts are not taxed on the property received. Alternatively, or in addition to lifetime gifting, you can employ various tax planning strategies in your will or trust. For example, an irrevocable life insurance trust can be set up to own your life insurance, which will remove the insurance from your estate and allow the benefit to pass tax-free. In addition, tax planning using trusts can be established in a will or a separate revocable trust. This common planning strategy first funds a family trust at your death with an amount of property equal to the unified credit amount in

the year of your death. The property passes to the family trust tax-free under the unified credit. The family trust will allow your surviving spouse to receive income & principal from the trust to help support the spouse throughout his or her life. Upon the spouse’s death, the trust assets will ultimately pass to your children or other non-spouse beneficiaries, again, estate tax free. The remaining property from your estate passes either outright or into a trust for your surviving spouse at your death. This property also passes tax-free under the unlimited marital deduction. If you have, or anticipate having, a taxable estate, please be aware that estate tax planning is something that is best accomplished by planning ahead. While there are some, the options available when a person has failed to plan ahead are limited. A knowledgeable team consisting of an attorney, CPA, and financial advisor can help you take inventory of your assets, develop a plan to pass your assets to the beneficiaries of your choosing while minimizing taxes, and implement that plan by drafting the documents to comply with state laws and the federal tax code. Once the plan is drafted, it should be reviewed periodically as your net worth, wishes, and goals change. With a plan in place, you can rest assured that death and taxes are not the only things certain in your life.

Disclaimer: The content of this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice. You should not rely solely on the information herein when making legal decisions. You should consult an attorney for specific advice tailored to your unique situation.

pg 12 Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010pg 12/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine

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Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010 pg 13 sophiewomansmagazine.com / July 2010 / pg 13

In this day of Mega Malls and Super Centers, fast paces and hurried schedules, we find little time to seek out the quaint downtown shops and restaurants that seem to have a life and relationship with the community all it’s own. The slow strolls through the unique shops with friends, stopping and chatting with the shop owners and exchanging pleasantries as we stand in line for a few minutes seem to have faded into memories we talk about, no longer experiences we share. The relationship between shop owner and customer is no longer made when you shop at the large malls and chain shopping centers. The turnover rate is usually higher and can be prohibitive of making lasting relationships with employees. Thriving downtown centers that build the community of local entrepreneurs and the townspeople have been pushed to the wayside. Small store owners are being forced out of business due to the ever increasing popularity of the “business” of shopping. What can we do to change the trends? Why must we sacrifice our neighbors’ livelihood for convenience and twenty four hour mega centers that distribute few of the dollars made into our community? A community ravaged with unemployment and underemployment, closing businesses that have been in families for generations. We must begin to reinvent who we are and reclaim our downtowns as destinations that the community – local folk – are drawn to for their shopping needs. When we choose to purchase goods from a local entrepreneur we keep our citizens working! Who needs more financial hardship? Certainly no one in Catawba County! So, What do we do? Where do we go? Have we lost hope? Hope, as defined on dictionary.com, is (n) the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; (v) to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

“Finding new hope in an old building” that’s what Paul Cameron said about the reopening of Union Square Emporium in downtown Hickory. That’s exactly what Sam Glaberman, owner, along with Susan Sterling and Stephanie Wethington want to offer when the doors open and business gets under way. The citizens of Catawba County have been adversely affected by the economic downturn of our country and most have been without hope. Today, hope returns to Union Square. Union Square Emporium is bringing excitement and life to Hickory but most importantly, hope. Inspired by a heart for others success and well being, Sam, a retired businessman from New York, has found that adversity is not an excuse for failure. Giving others a place to succeed creates success for the community. The heartbeat of the community is the people who live there. Sam has put a partnership of people together to revive the heartbeat of Hickory and Catawba County. With energy, enthusiasm and servants attitude for the area,

Sam, Susan and Stephanie are building a new community housed under the roof bearing the name Union Square Emporium. We have gathered many different small business owners and artists, seasoned and beginners, to bring Hickory a new place to support your neighbors and shop local! When you look at the logo design of Union Square Emporium, many things come to mind when you see nine squares perfectly lined up which represents different things. First, the uniformity of size and placement represents the group of people that have become one, all of us separate and individual, but put together in a well designed fashion we become one success, that is Union Square Emporium. Another thought that comes to mind is that no matter if we turn the logo on its side or even upside down, we build each other up and hold one another strong. We truly have each other’s back. As we move forward and build our vendor partners successes, we can see that this is a place considered a building block to get started. Successful stories came to life eight years ago when it was first opened, and our goal is to have that happen many more times. Using the square in the logo represents being In beautiful downtown Hickory on the Square. Hickory is one building block in the makeup of Catawba County. We don’t want to leave out the whole of who we are, and we are committed to use Hickory for the work and renovations that have been done on the building. John LaMonica, realtor with Coldwell Banker, after the sale was complete still met workers early in the morning to get in when we were not available. Even now he stops in to check on us and offers contacts to help in the operation and maintenance of this revived building. Beautiful signage was made by a local company, Sign*A*Rama, owned by Jeff Owen. Jeff is indicative of the commitment to supporting one another and building each other’s business with excellence. I watched as he meticulously recreated our logo at his own expense when the file I provided him with was not up to his standards. His standards, as found with most small businesses we’ve employed, were higher and though what we had would have been ok, he was putting his name on the finished product and would not be satisfied until he had given us more than our expectations. Keith Crowe, owner of Crowe Electric, has poured hours into the project, not just making things work, he made them right. Bill Mashburn with Link Boilers did what others said could not be done. The ethics of Hickory’s citizens, professionals, and business owners are by far higher than average. This old building has brought people together with a renewed excitement for helping one another without wondering first what’s in it for themselves. Our web designer, Lisa Barnett of Barnett Web Designs, said to me the other day that she feels a part of what is happening. She’s right! We are all doing this together! We as a community bring hope to one another. Together, we can take control of our economic futures, bringing a community together, one old or new building at a time.

Sam Glaberman and Susan Sterling inside the newly re-opened Union Square Emporium


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Marla Cilley

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All we have ever wanted is to live in a home that makes us feel good. Who knew that women base their self-worth on how their home looks. We didn’t know that. We just felt terrible. The more chaotic our homes were, the sadder we became. Our only thought was that something had to be wrong with us. The good news is that we are not alone. We are not lazy or stupid! We can learn; we just have to learn differently from born organized people. Keeping house comes naturally to them. Chances are you were raised by or have a born organized person in your life. I believe that this gene skips generations. Thank goodness it skipped us! I wouldn’t have it any other way! We are truly blessed! We have the best of both worlds! We can learn how to be organized but it is very difficult for born organized people to let go and be creative. We can help them too. It takes all of us. I could not do what I do without born organized people to help me. I am glad we all have our talents. Yes being sidetracked is a talent! We have allowed our creativity to get stuck in the chaos that the excitement has fostered. It is only when we get the things done stand in the way of our creative genius; that we can play with our talents without the guilt. You know that guilt! The pile of dishes in the sink, mount washmore and that daily question, “What’s for dinner”, these undone things get in the way of our creativity. They get in the way of having fun. As long as those dishes are in the sink; we don’t give ourselves permission to go out and play. We say ugly things to ourselves for even wanting to play. Then there is the other side of guilt! We just give up and play all the time! We don’t think we have time to keep house so we don’t do anything. The chaos fills every area of our life. Eventually we sink lower and lower into depths of guilt and anxiety and eventually depression. All because we didn’t think we had time! I have a simple little method that will help you get rid of your guilt and stress, then free you to be who you always wanted to be! It all starts with shining your kitchen sink. This one habit leads to another one and when you string habits together; they become routines. Your routines release the bonds of guilt and you are free to create! Those simple routines become the framework for your fun! I have watched Born Organized people and they get stuff done! Sometimes they work themselves too hard and don’t take time to play. I want you to be in both worlds. We can eliminate the guilt by doing what needs to be done before we play. I am not talking about a spotless house either! Just simple routines will be enough to release the guilt and FLY! Finally Loving Yourself opens the doors to your creativity. For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out her website and join her free life coaching at www.FlyLady.net , listen to her channel http://www.blogtalkradio.com /flylady show or read her books, Sink Reflections published by Bantam and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Fireside. Copyright 2009 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.


By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

Sophisticated Women

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A kaleidoscope of color is unveiled each and every year as October generously arrives with the gifts of autumn. Nature and the ultimate gift giver make a concerted effort to finish strong each year. If you choose, you too can finish strong but you’ll have to be in pursuit of the life you really want. Pursuit comes out of a deep-seated desire to take measured actions to obtain the desires of your heart. I invite you to take the signs of the autumn season as a cue to be in pursuit of a vibrant life.

Autumn ushers in …

~ Crisp air that engages our senses

Get outside…outside physically, intellectually, and emotionally. Without hesitation or reluctance, the season’s change. And so it must be with you. You must get outside your patterned ways of thinking and breathe in some new crisp ideas that awaken your senses. You need to draw in deeply fresh perspectives to engage what is possible. This week take a journal into the woods. Get on a path and ask yourself this powerful question:

What crisp, clear, and concise words can I formulate to guide me into this next season of my life?

~ A display of vibrant colors

Like 15 million other people, I love to travel to the Blue Ridge Parkway to witness the change of the leaves. What draws all of us to the mountains is the beauty and magnificence of color. Color indicates health, vitality, and promise. The invitation of autumn is to display a colorful life illustrating our intention for finishing strong.

If your life was represented by a color during the autumn season, what color would it be and why?

~ A celebration of the year’s harvest

I know you’ve been working hard. Everyone I work with and the groups I speak to are all operating at a heightened level of intensity. The “fields” out there have been harder to plow, more difficult to fertilize and require constant tending to reap a return on investment. However, I am encouraged because the people I work with are in pursuit have fruit on the vine clear evidence of their efforts. While I understand we must press on and continue to cultivate our lives in the next months, autumn ushers in a harvest celebration.

What fruit has come out of your pursuits this year? How might a harvest celebration energize you to take on the next season of your life?

Finally, autumn ushers in …

~ A directive to prepare and store for the next season

Indeed, winter is coming. The holidays, a new year, and new possibilities are ahead. Their potential for being sacred, packed with potential and a reality depend on your willingness to prepare and store up the resources necessary to pursue the life you want effectively. I suggest you listen to your

ARE INPURSUIT

genuine voice. Listen with intensity. That genuine voice within is longing to direct you and show you exactly how to move energetically into the next season.

When you listen to the genuine voice from within, how does it guide you to prepare and store for what life holds in the future?

Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and business coach. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach, speaker and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Let’s get started! Move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” -Howard Thurman


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I am a Hero My name is Michelle Johnson Major. I consider myself an ordinary forty year old woman. I am a mother and an artist. In fact, I have been teaching high school art for nineteen years now. I inspire, encourage and give to young people through my words and my artwork. I am a loving person. A giver. A listening ear. A kind voice. Yet in all my years of teaching, I was never called a “hero” until recently. I was called a hero because I spoke out publicly about the domestic violence that almost ended my life. Two years ago, my “voice” was almost taken from me by my then husband. He tried to murder me in our home as our five week old baby slept in the room next door. Before he strangled me to unconsciousness, he took a butcher knife and destroyed my entire body of artwork—ninety four paintings in all. In essence, he tried to silence my artistic voice as well as my life.

Victim I met and fell head over heels for a charming man that joined the choir at my church. This man seemed to love me passionately and romantically. He was everything I thought I had been searching for my whole life. Finally I found someone who loved me as much as I loved them. Hating to spend even a day apart, we quickly married six months later. I was so blinded by love for him and, probably more importantly, the desire to be loved by someone else, that I did not acknowledge the ugly truth that was starting to emerge in our relationship. I was becoming trapped in an abusive relationship. The verbal and emotional abuse began slowly—and I didn’t really realize it was happening until physical abuse became the accompaniment. Now, having since educated myself on abusive and controlling men, the symptoms and patterns emerging in my relationship seem so obvious, yet when that cycle is your actual life, things can really sneak up on you. I became ‘weak, whiney, worthless, lazy and disgusting.’ I was ‘a fat bitch, a whore’ and other derogatory words. What a contrast to the beautiful, cherished princess I was just months before. As my body grew heavier with this man’s child, I became the object of his rage and I quickly became trapped in a bleak and dismal set of circumstances. In the back of my mind, the ‘I’m sorry’s and I love you’s’ did not seem as sincere as they once had. I had a small voice telling me I was being abused, yet denial can sometimes speak louder when it means the loss of hopes and dreams and the fear of loneliness. I walked on eggshells and tried to never show my real feelings. I unsuccessfully tried to anticipate his fits of anger and tried to avoid conflict and confrontation by not speaking up or speaking my mind. I only heard the cruel and hurtful words and felt the intimidation and fear of living with this man who had once swept me off my feet. I realized the truth behind the lies I had been so eager to believe. Getting married did not make him change. Having a baby did not make him stop. He was who he was. He was an abuser. I had become his victim. The last memory I have of my husband is of his hands around my throat, choking me and screaming at me that he was going to kill me this time. “I am really going to kill you this time”. I was begging and pleading with no real voice for him not to kill me. Please don’t kill me. I saw only the monster’s face framed in blackness. I saw an object moving in front of my face and I realized that was my hand. I could not feel it—and the twitching it was involuntarily doing was something I may have seen in a horror movie when someone is dying. In fact, that is when I knew in my heart “This is it. You are going to die now.” And then there was nothing. The next memory I have is running towards my steps to escape him, yet he was already half way down the stairs. He had left me for dead right outside our bedroom door. When he realized I was alive and running, he came up the steps blocking my way down and calmly said, “You’re not going to leave me. You will not leave me.” He then pinned me against the wall and beat my face over and over, pausing only to carefully wipe the blood from my nose and mouth onto my shirt before proceeding to continue to punch my face. Once he thought I could take no

more, he calmly turned to walk down the stairs to leave again. I spotted my cell phone on the bathroom floor where he had thrown it as he was strangling me. His careless move saved my life. I ran to the bathroom, locked the door and dialed 911. He heard my voice screaming into the phone, “My husband is trying to kill me, my husband is going to kill me!!!” and he began walking back up the stairs eerily saying “what are you doing, honey? What are you doing? You better think about this, honey”. I will never forget the eerie calmness of his voice. Then he fled. Even more of the psychotic nature of this crime became clearer once the police began photographing my home—now a crime scene. Hours before this nightmare happened, while he was home alone and waiting for me to return, he took a butcher knife and butchered thirty seven of my paintings hanging in our home and over fifty more stored in a hall closet. He told me he had decided to destroy what meant the most to me, knowing that as an artist, I had poured my heart and soul into these paintings. He then took four photos of me off the wall, took them out of their frames, slashed the photos of my face with a butcher knife, and then had the presence of mind to put the photos back in the frames and hang them back up.

Survivor This last two years of my life has been an adventure, to say the least. I lived in fear for my life while my abuser was free on bond. I thought I would have relief from that fear once he was sentenced, yet now he is a free man after serving a twenty-eight day prison sentence. Yes, you read that correctly, days. I have lived a life of wearing sunglasses, hats, changing cars, varying my routine, changing my address, fleeing my home, and much more due to fear of being killed by my husband. Yet an amazing transformation happened to me. I made a conscious choice not to remain a victim and live in fear for my life. I spent two years of my life being controlled by an abuser and I would not let him have that control and power over me ever again. When my husband destroyed my artwork, he told me he was going to take what I loved the most from me. Days later, as I looked around the home that the police referred to as a crime scene, I had no idea that the butchered paintings and bruises on my throat would save another woman’s life, yet that is exactly what I have done as an activist for domestic violence awareness. I moved from the role of victim to survivor. I have become an advocate for shining the light on an (continued on pg 52) >>

(above) Michelle Johnson Major with her daughter. (right) One of her portraits from the show.

HEROby Michelle Johnson Major


Owner & Operator of The CORE Fit-ness Studio, NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne DeLoriea, One of NASCAR’s most successful and decorated coaches, certified in 79 countries around the world and author of Coach Without A Whistle joins forces with Healthy Lifestyles to help you real-ize your nutrition and fitness goals.

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October is my favorite month of the year. Just looking at it, I’ll admit that it’s a strange month to have as a favorite. Consider some of the other choices like November and December…or how about February? October, the end of the summer heat and humidity, the beginning of the World Series, the world of NASCAR gets more exciting with each coming race in the CHASE for the Points Championship, we can start thinking about putting the mowers away, and all of nature seems to celebrate with us. All of these are great reasons, but they are not THE reason that October is my favorite month. By the way, January is my second favorite month of the year, because it celebrates our desire to do better than the year just passed. We make resolutions to be and do better… and even if we miss our goals, we are better for the effort. So, what is THE reason? October 19th is ‘Evaluate You Life Day’. It’s good to stop and evaluate every once in a while. We tend to see evaluation as a negative thing, but I rather count my blessings and measure my strengths. Forget about your weaknesses for once and focus on what

you CAN do…what you ARE good at and decide that you are going to build upon the greatness within you. As a coach, I always tried to see what gifts my players brought to the table and I tried to make them better at those things. The greater they got…it just seemed like magic, that their weaknesses seemed to disappear. When I go out to give motivational speeches, I explain to folks that if I focus on their weaknesses and try to develop the things that they are not good at, the most I can hope to do is to help them become average. You see, by focusing on the things that they’re not good at, is to focus on the part of them that would be a failure if they had no strengths. The message they get is, “they just don’t measure up”. You create loser mentalities by focusing on weaknesses. Now, if I develop your strengths just imagine what you might be…and just by being more confident and empowered, you’ll take care of the things you’re not so good at. I don’t have to worry about it…because you know what your weaknesses are better than anyone else. There is an old saying in business, “Nothing breeds success, like success.” This holds true in developing people too…it works for self-improvement as well. If you want to help yourself, then consider this, “Happiness and worry cannot

occupy the same space.” October is a time when I can stop for a moment and love myself for my strengths. I can tell the little kid inside that he’s doing okay and to just keep his chin up and in the wind…keep moving forward, no matter how tough the wind blows…don’t give up and take the easy way out. In the animal world, the one who continually takes the easy way out…GETS EATEN…because it gets weak. With the cooler weather comes the desire to take walks with my wife…to hold hands and spend time together outside. I love to drive up into the mountains to see the colors and either take a picnic or stop at some small out of the way diner. It’s a time to put all of the normally serious stuff away and to make her laugh by not taking myself so seriously. I realized a long time ago that my problems still exist whether I laugh and poke fun at myself or not…so I might as well rise up and be bigger than my problems by laughing in spite of them…maybe, even laughing AT them. As long as I keep my sense of humor…I win. As long as I laugh, my wife and family know that they are secure. Troubles…everybody has them, especially in these times. I could choose to focus on the things that worry me or I can look into the eyes of the beautiful woman who is burying me in the leaves and simply laugh…I recommend laughing. If you’re going to be ready for Thanksgiving, October is a great time to stop and count your blessings and take stock of what a good person you are. Stop for a moment and look at all you’re dealing with and how hard the wind is blowing. Times are tough, but you’re still here, still alive and still looking for more and wanting better. That’s a GREAT thing to be, so smile and know that you’re living your life…better that anyone else could. Celebrate YOU, count your blessings and build upon your strengths. If you do…Thanksgiving could have greater meaning.

Happy October!Coach

I could choose to focus on the things that worry me or I can look into the eyes of the beautiful woman who is burying me in the leaves and simply laugh…I recommend laughing.


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Today’s Truth Matthew 22:37-38 (NIV) “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Friend to Friend I love being a grandmother. I absolutely adore our three grandchildren and work hard at finding any and every excuse to spend time with them. The games I played with their parents, I now play with them. I read many of the same stories that I read to their parents and have come up with new renditions of old songs I once sang as a young mother. I am convinced that my grandchildren keep me young. I am also convinced that they are some of my greatest and most profound teachers. Maybe that is because they are so “fresh” from Heaven and the presence of God. Whatever the reason, when I spend time with them, I always come away with new truth. I recently visited our son and daughter-in-law in Charlotte, North Carolina because two of our three grandchildren live with them. They are twins. As you can imagine, life is anything but dull as Jered and Jodi try to keep up with three-year-old Lelia and Jaydan. It seems like the twins do or say something new every day and I can now testify to the fact that are learning to talk ... a lot! They are also learning how to pray. As we sat down at the dinner table one night, I watched Lelia and Jaydan bow their heads and begin to sing the blessing. It was one of those life moments I will never forget. But there was more. When the song was finished, Jered prayed, “Thank You, God, for our food and our home. Thank You for Mommy, Daddy, Lelia, Jaydan and for Mimi.” I waited for the usual “amen” but instead, heard two sweet voices offer their own thanks. Lelia ended their prayer time by pointing to each person seated at the table and declaring, “I love Mommy and Daddy. I love JayJay. I love Mimi.” Then came the “amen” from daddy. However, Lelia was not done. With sparkling eyes and a smile that would melt any heart, she pointed to herself and said, “And I love me!” And there you have the three-year-old translation of the two most important commandments Jesus ever gave. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself” Matthew 22:37-38 (NIV). Jesus is responding to a question he was asked by an interpreter of the law. I suspect the motive behind the question was far from pure, but Jesus responded with pure truth when He said that the love of God is the “first and greatest commandment.” In other words, our love of God must not only be not sincere but radical. If we love God, we sell out to Him and will naturally serve Him by loving and serving others. Too often, we stop right there and never get to the second most important commandment. Jesus said we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Yes, there is a self-love that is corrupt, and the root of the greatest sins we can possibly commit. That kind of self-love must die. However, Jesus teaches that we are to love ourselves enough to take care of and be concerned with the welfare of our own bodies and souls. Our body houses the Holy Spirit. Our soul is eternal. We are responsible for the care of both. And we must love our neighbor as truly and sincerely as we love ourselves. That kind of love often asks us to deny ourselves for the good of others because people could care

less how much we know, until they know how much we care. Our choice to obey these two commandments will mold our heart and life into something beautiful that honors and pleases God. The psalmist writes, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:13-14). You can judge the value and the worth of a product by looking at the one who made it. You are no accident. You were created by God - for God - and even if you were never wanted or planned by human heart and mind, you were planned and wanted by God. So, love your neighbor and while you are at it, love yourself

Let’s Pray Father, I celebrate the fact that You created me. You planned my life and chose me to be Your daughter because You love me. Help me to love others, God, and then help me to see and love myself through Your eyes.In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn Read the following verses of Scripture and answer the questions listed below. Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” How does this verse of Scripture emphasize the fact that you and I were created in response to God’s plan, not as an afterthought or as an accident? Psalm 8:3-5 “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.” How do these verses line up with the way you see yourself right now? What one immediate change do you need to make in order to see yourself the way God sees you? Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Are you living a life plan that gives you hope and a future? Is it the right plan? Read and memorize Isaiah 43:4 and make it one of your life verses. “You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you.” Need a friend? Connect with me on Facebook or through email. I love hearing what God is doing in your life! Tell me how praising God has made a difference in your life. Let’s talk about it, girlfriend!

And I Love Me! Mary Southerland

Girlfriends in GodP.O. Box 725

Matthews, NC [email protected]


&TRUTHBEAUTY

by Teresa Pope, Esthetician

Please submit questions to Teresa Pope @ Alabaster Healing

221 1st. Ave. NW - Suite 207 Hickory, NC 28601 828-256-1081

© 2010 Vera Bradley Designs, Inc.

New! Winter 2010 Colors & Styles So many great colors, styles and collections to choose from.

Shown: Tote in Versailles, Twirly Birds Pink, Baroque, Buttercup and Twirly Birds Navy

Digital Hearing Aids•Custom Swim Plugs•

Hearing Protection•Earpieces for Sleeping•

Ipod / Cell Phone Earpieces•Shooters Filters•

Motorcycle Earpieces•Race Car Driver Sets•

Musician Filters•Free Hearing Test•

“Thanks Barbara,I am happy with my audiologist, my choice of hearing aids, and my wife doesn’t have to yell at me any more.” ~Harold Holman - Hickory, NC

“It is a pleasure to finally have a normal conversation again” ~Katherine Holman - Hickory, NC

“Please see us before you buy!”

*Individual has not been compensated.

Question: I do not have acne, but my face is full of blackheads. How can I get rid of them and keep them from coming back?

Answer: If you do not have acne, then you probably do not have a face full of blackheads either. I suspect your little black spots are simple enlarged pores, which have filled with sebum. Sebum is the term for “oil”. When oil seeps up into the outer layers of skin, exposing itself to air, the sebum oxidizes, turning it black. It is fairly easy to determine if the black spots are pores filled with sebum or indeed a blackhead. If it is enlarged pores than the black spot will literally wash away. It may however, require a special product and some extra effort on your part. First, wash your face as usual, then boil 2 cups of water, remove from heat and add 2TBS. lemon juice and 2TBS. baking soda. Set hot water mixture on a safe surface, to eliminate any potential hazards of burning yourself. Place a towel over your head, holding your head approximately 12-16 inches from pot. Steam your face for 7 -10 minutes. Then wash your face again with a cleanser containing salicylic acid. If it is enlarged pores that is plaguing you, then they should be gone after washing. Be sure to replenish your skin with the correct moisturizer for your skin type. However, if the spots remain, then more than likely they are blackheads. Do not try to extract blackheads at home, a visit to your esthetician would be advised. An esthetician will not only do the extractions safely, but can give you products and tips to help keep blackheads at bay.


Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory

and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured

in “Spectacular Homes of the Caro-linas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more infor-

mation, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

by Susan Guest, ASID Did you know that the color of your kitchen may affect the size of your thighs? Or that the color of your child’s room might affect their learning capacity? Color psychology is used on us every day, even though most of us are unaware of this. For example, fast food signs are usually red or yellow-col-ors that make us want to devour a triple burger, biggie fries, and a large gulp. My kitchen is neither red, nor yellow but I manage to stay hungry enough without color stimulants! At a color seminar last year, I learned that purple is a great color for those of us who often have to switch between left and right sides of the brain (analytical verses creative thinking). Interior designers, engineers, graphic artists and many other professionals should heed this advice. I used this knowledge to explain new clothing purchases to my sweetie! Purple is also a “brain color” that helps children learn faster. Greens and blues, of course, are usually soothing colors-depending on the intensity of the hue. They remind us of nature trails or a walk by the sea. Orange is a great color for an exercise room or physical therapy area because it stimulates our muscles. Red can stimulate your sex life; but can also cause insomnia if used in a bedroom. Black and white are usually desired by people going through major life transitions such as divorce or troubled times.

At different points of our lives, we physically need and crave different colors. People who are aware of their body’s needs tend to automatically select colors that nourish their body. For this reason, it is important to let a child select a color for his or her room. If it is too obnoxious, use it as ac-cents such as pillows or removable wall decals . Each color is special and has its own purpose in reflecting light. Thank God for His ultimate creativity and for healing us with color. Examples of His love are seen in a beautiful sunset, varied hues of a mountain range, and the inspiring rainbow. Let us be mindful of His attention to detail in provid-ing what each of us needs.

COLO


The kids are back to school...destress with

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FrontPorchThe by Judy Smith

The kids are back to school...destress with

SPA HAPPY HOUR

Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday „ 10-2pmBook a service between these times and receive

30% off Spa SERVICES*

*Excludes Thermage, Laser Hair Removal, Permanent Cosmetics, and Eyelash Extensions

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915 Tate Blvd SE S uite 146 | Hickory, NC | w w w.pu reref lection.comfeel a part of something bigger than yourself. But when you do it, you change the world. And even if you can’t see it,

So, please, join in the Komen Race for the Cure by registering for the Race or making a pledge, today!

©2009 Susan G. Komen for the Cure®

October 16, 2010

Lenoir Rhyne University

komenncfoothills.org

“Your Cancer Care And Breas t Surgery Bout ique”1239 2nd St. NE - Hickory, NC 28601

Hours: Tuesday - Friday 10-4 & After Hours By Appointment

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Have your picture taken with Chad The Handyman. He is spending the day with us to celebrate the donation we made &

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Maybe you don’t remember the old Art Linkletter House Party Show that was on TV years ago but there was a segment that most people just loved titled “Kids say the darnedest things”. It might be on some channel now on reruns but if it is, I am not aware of it. If it is, I need to find out and start taping it but if it is not, it ought to be or someone ought to do another show like it. It is so true the old saying “out of the mouth of babes”. You never know what they are going to say so you better be alert. That is what happened to my step daughter recently with the addition of a new baby to our family. Her name is Caroline and of course she is absolutely beautiful and everyone is thrilled...almost everyone that is! Her big sister, who just turned three years old, was not so happy about the person who was going to take some of her mother’s affection. Caroline started causing trouble even before she was born by not wanting to show herself so the doctor’s and waiting parents decided on a C-section. That means a longer stay in the hospital and a little less mobility at first. Lizzie didn’t have much to do with her mother in the hospital and even less with little “sissy”. Everyone kept saying it would be different when they got home. More sleep, better food, close family time...all the things you would expect going home from the hospital. Most of these things were just what the Dr. ordered and most of them happened. Except for the close family time that took a while and a little coaxing from Lizzie’s parents. “Do you want to come see the baby?” or “do you want to hold her?” was usually met with a rebellious look. As expected though, she finally started to come around. Curiosity got the best of her and finally she asked the questions. “Can I touch her hair?” Of course you can honey! She reaches up to touch her hair. “Can I touch her nose?” Yes, very gently, you can touch her nose. What progress we are making. Mom and Dad are thrilled that finally Lizzie is coming around. But then the question that would have caused the Art Linkletter audience to roll off their seats laughing; “Can I slap her?” What goes through those little minds? Don’t you wish we could know? Well, I don’t want to leave you hanging. Things are getting better and she has actually held her but you can bet Mom and Dad are watching close. They both are treasures to our family and I know there will be lots of funny moments and sayings that bring laughter to our hearts in the future years. I also know there will be future times when Caroline will run and say that Lizzie hit her. Will we wonder how much of that will be left over frustration from someone who has had all the attention focused on her up until now? She will learn soon enough that a mother’s heart is large enough for more than one! Just don’t hit your sister.


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Medicap Pharmacy828-466-1500medicap.com

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Sales Rep. & Trainer828-328-1829/866-637-8870

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Physicians Plan Weight Loss828-485-2833physiciansplan.com

Tracy’s On The Square828-322-6651Downtown Hickory

Catawba Furniture Mall1-866-702-7361catawbafurniture.com

Hickory Plastic Surgery828-322-8380hickoryplasticsurgery.com

Brand Jewelry828-478-4800Mooresville NC

Barbara’s Hearing828-322-4750barbarashearing.com

2 Pink Magnolias828-466-19762pinkmagnolias.com

Style Exchange828-267-7200styleexchangeofhickory.com

Shoppes On Falls828-313-2119Granite Falls

Gigi’s Consignment Boutique704-732-0085 / 828-464-0888Downtown Newton

Statesville Civic Center(704) 878-3493ci.statesville.nc.us

Advanced Vein Center828-322-8485Graystone Place, Hickory

Steve White Automotive(888) 827-3721stevewhitemotors.net

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Hickory Dickory Dock(828) 322-3625hickorydickorydock.net

Strandz Salon828-261-0035Hickory, NC

Jagged Edge Salon828-345-1130jaggededgesalonhickory.com

Cafe Gouda828-267-1300cafegouda.com

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Joy HeffingerStylist / Color Specialist

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Certified In:Brazilian Blowout &

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The Sophie Shopper

Body Rejuvenation

Dr. Garlitz828-322-1535garlitzorthodontics.com

Midway Carpet828-465-1033midwaycarpetdist.com

Fitness / GymsHighland Recreation Dept.828-326-5000hickorygov.comThe Perfect Workout828-465-4055theperfectworkout.net

JewelryThe Bisanar Company828-322-5090bisanar.com

Medical / Health Care

Compounding Pharmacy828-324-4115thecompoundingrx.com

Frye Medical Center828-315-3391fryemedctr.com

A Woman’s View828-345-0800awomansview.com

Medicap Pharmacy828-466-1500medicap.com

Photography

Retail

Pure Reflections828-345-1290purereflection.com

InsuranceState FarmNewton 828-466-3888Hickory 828-324-9333

YMCA828-464-6130ymcacv.org

Healthy Nutrition ~ Healthy Weight ~ Healthy Children ~ Healthy Beauty ~ Healthy Home

Healthy Living SolutionsMaria Goldstein, CNC

Sales Rep. & Trainer828-328-1829/866-637-8870

[email protected]

In Harmony With Nature

Automotive

“Call Me, I’ll SaveYou Money”

Eddie Thomas Sales Consultant (828) 460-1730

[email protected]

1001 Jamestown Rd, Morganton NC - crossroadscars.com

CROSSROADSCROSSROADS

“The Undisputed Price Leader!”

Dental CareDr. Amy Brooks828-438-1010drbrooksnc.com

Scrapbooking

Pam Starnes (828) 327-4090www.mycmsite.com/pamstarnes

Customized Scapbooks For:*Weddings

*Anniversaries*Senior Year/Athlete

*Celebrations of all kinds*Memorials for loved ones

Event Centers / Family Fun

The Peacock Inn828-464-5780thepeacockinn-newton.com

Accounting

Shutterbuggerz828-466-0122shutterbuggerz.comArt / Art Lessons

Palette Creations“Paint ing Your World”

Classes For:Landscapes

SeascapesFloral

Still Life828-495-5111 email:[email protected]

Come Join The Fun!

Dr. John Fish(828) 397-5514johnfishdds.com

Hair Accessories Chic Wigs828-324-5375chic-wigs.com

STUDIOS

image Full Service Hair & Day Spa For Men & WomenRelax & Let Us Pamper You. . .

3356 Hwy 70 SE Newton, NC 828.465.4943 www.imagestudiossalon.com

Esthetics Skin Care Services, Bamboo Massage Therapy & Airbrush Tanning

Physicians Plan Weight Loss828-485-2833physiciansplan.com

Tracy’s On The Square828-322-6651Downtown Hickory

Catawba Furniture Mall1-866-702-7361catawbafurniture.com

Hickory Plastic Surgery828-322-8380hickoryplasticsurgery.com

Brand Jewelry828-478-4800Mooresville NC

Barbara’s Hearing828-322-4750barbarashearing.com

2 Pink Magnolias828-466-19762pinkmagnolias.com

Style Exchange828-267-7200styleexchangeofhickory.com

Shoppes On Falls828-313-2119Granite Falls

Gigi’s Consignment Boutique704-732-0085 / 828-464-0888Downtown Newton

Statesville Civic Center(704) 878-3493ci.statesville.nc.us

Advanced Vein Center828-322-8485Graystone Place, Hickory

Steve White Automotive(888) 827-3721stevewhitemotors.net

SkinLogix828-291-2213skinlogixofhickory.com

Hair Care / Hair Salons (cnt’d)

Furniture / Home Decor

Jillybean’s CreationsCustom Made Gift Baskets

Home-made Cakes, Brownies, Candy, and CookiesHand Crafted Greeting Cards and Gift Tags

Also, Home-made Jams & Jellies

828-729-2078 www.jillybeanscreations.com

POKKA DOTSFAMILY CONSIGNMENT

Mon - Fri: 9:00 - 5:30Sat: 10:00 - 3:00

(828) 267-02001510 16th St. NE Hickory, NC

Sandy Ridge Rd

Quality Consignment for Infants, Children, & Mothers-to-be, Baby Equipment, Toys & Bikes

Catawba Valley Medical Cent.828-326-3000catawbavalleymedical.org

Union Square Emporium324-SHOPusehickory.com

Sheppard Chiropratic324-4600becomehealthier.com

Chiropractic

CoPak Solutions828-261-0255copaksolutionsinc.com

Food/Groceries

Posh Salon(828) 328-6477poshsalonspa.net

Josh’s On The Square828-324-JOSHjoshsonunionsquare.com

Restaurants

Retirement LivingKingston Residence828-327-9955kingstonhealthcare.com

Warehouse 2120828-855-0407warehouse2120.com

Horizon Surgical Specialist828-758-5501Lenoir, NC

Wild Birds Unlimited828-441-2473hickory.wbu.com

Pets / Animal Care

Medical / Health Care (cnt’d)

Gifts / Gift Baskets

~Business Write-up, Bookkeeping and Payroll Services.~Business & Personal Financial and Estate Planning.~Tax Preparation and Consulting for Businesses & Individuals.~Quickbooks Certified and Pro Advisor.

609 US Hwy 70 W / Hildebran, NC 28637 /(828) 397-5471 / [email protected]

Dana’s Fine Jewelry828-466-1999danasfinejewelryinc.com

Stewart’s Jewelry(828) 464-5846stewartjewelryco.com

Hickory Dickory Dock(828) 322-3625hickorydickorydock.net

Strandz Salon828-261-0035Hickory, NC

Jagged Edge Salon828-345-1130jaggededgesalonhickory.com

Cafe Gouda828-267-1300cafegouda.com

Foothills Internal Medicine(828) 322-3898foothillsinternalmed.com

Advertise Here Starting At $20/Month - Call 828-466-0122

Joy HeffingerStylist / Color Specialist


Certified In:Brazilian Blowout &

Keratin ComplexSmoothing Therapy


828-228-0552

Licensed Insurance Agent 828-640-1344

IIS000071

Susan M MedesLicensed Insurance Agent 828-640-1344

IIS000071

Susan M MedesSue Medes 828-640-1344 [email protected]

Child Care

USDA Food Program•State Licensed•Three Secured Outdoor •Play Areas

Infants $140Toddlers $1302-3 yrs. $1254-5 years $120

Fundraising Opportunities Available

704-881-8557Let me assist you in making all your

career dreams come true!


The Dinner Diva

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Sav-ing Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com

Onions are foundation for a lot of my recipes. Knowing HOW to properly and safely chop an onion will absolutely help you get your dinner on the table quicker! The way I do it is easier, safer and faster. Yes, I have a video demonstrating this important skill on http://savingdinner.tv

Here’s how to chop an opinion, in 5 easy steps:

1) Wash your onion (yes, even with the skin on, always wash ALL produce)

2) Cut off the end with the swirly paper top (that’s considered the end). Don’t cut off the root end though, that holds the onion together.

3) Now cut the onion lengthwise so that you have half a root end on each half. Take the skin off in one fell swoop.

4) Place the onion half flat side down on the cutting board. Now take your knife and make perpendicular cuts to the onion half, about 1/8th of an inch apart.

5) Using the hand that isn’t holding the knife, make a claw with your fingers so they’re not vulnerable to the knife. Now slice thru like you’re slicing the onion. The perpendicular cuts will automatically “dice” your onion for you!

Now what about those pesky fumes that make you cry and ruin your mascara? A cooking school in Washington State suggested putting a tablespoon of vinegar on your cutting board to cut the tears. Never tried it, but sounds like a great idea!

After all this chopping, don’t you think you need a good recipe to get that onion cooked? I just got a ton of butternut squash with my CSA basket and this recipe is awesome, so here you go:

Butternut SoupServes 4

1 onion -- chopped1 tablespoon butter2 tablespoons olive oil3 cups butternut squash -- peeled and cubed2 cups chicken broth1/2 teaspoon thyme1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper1/2 pound low fat cream cheesesalt and pepper -- to taste

In a large sauce pan, heat oil and butter together over medium high heat and saute the onion. Add squash, broth, thyme and cayenne pepper. Bring to a boil, lower heat and allow to simmer. Cook 20 minutes or until squash is tender.

In a blender, puree squash with cream cheese in batches until smooth. Return to saucepan and heat through, but don’t boil.

Per Serving: 295 Calories; 14g Fat;10g Protein; 12g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 51mgCholesterol; 642mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1/2 Grain(Starch); 1 LeanMeat; 1/2 Vegetable; 1 1/2 Fat.

SERVING SUGGESTIONS: Serve with a big spinach salad and some whole wheat dinner rolls.

Sophie Woman’s Magazine Oct 2010 pg 31 sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 31

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Saving our “Saved Memories”Digital Cameras vs “Film”

By Tim Osborne

How should we save our photos??

Today with all the new cameras and iPhones with cameras, we need to make sure we save our photos properly. The digital camera is a great tool, but we need to use it properly. Remember when we had “FILM” we would snap an entire roll at a party, Christmas celebration, or vacation and take it in to have developed, only a few pictures were really worth saving in a photo album. With today’s digital cameras we can take all the pictures we want. However, we can choose the ones that come out great. Those are the ones we need to have printed on real photo paper and put into a photo album. Real photos will last over 100 years, how long will our memory cards last? Just a few years ago most of us thought a 3 ½ Floppy was something!! Today many people have all their photos on a computer or a memory stick. One computer crash or lost memory stick and all of those memories are lost. Do not trust your computer to save all your photo memories. When your baby turns sixteen will you have any photos? Take your memory card to a local photo lab and have them printed on real photo paper. You can save only the ones you want. Print to a photo file and take this to your local photo lab or take your card in and the staff will be happy to help you print just the ones you want. Then you can take the photos to grandmas. She enjoys holding the photo in her hand or posting on her refrigerator, not looking at a small camera display that she can’t see. Remember how fun it is to see your Mom & Dad as children, comparing with yours to see who looks like who. Don’t let your kids miss out on that fun. Have your digital photos printed on real photo paper. They are very affordable and most photo labs will print them for less than you can buy the paper and ink with those do it at home printers. The pictures from a photo lab will be true colors and will last forever! A printed picture can capture a memory to last for generations to come.

Tim Osborne is owner of Kolor Quick Photo the first photo lab in Hickory Kolor Quick was opened in Downtown Hickory in 1972 offering same day film processing. They are a full service lab and can help with any of you Digital Photo needs

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If you’re looking for work right now—I hope that you’ve put on your big girl (or boy) panties because you have some major competition! There are so many people out of work right now, and guess what, they’re applying for the same positions you are! I know it sounds scary, but don’t let it get you down. I will give you a couple of practical tips to enhance your ability to standout against all of the competition. When writing your resume, try to identify key words in the ad or job description and use those same words in your resume. The employer is looking for someone who possesses a particular skill set and by using the same words in your resume as they did in the ad, you will look like the perfect candidate. Make sure that your resume is not only current, but accurate as well. Just tell the truth! Employers will quickly identify any dishonesties or embellishments and it will impact your credibility tremendously. When submitting your resume to a potential employer, only send a maximum of three pages.

Page 1: Cover letter Your cover letter should include a maximum of three paragraphs, enticing the reader to continue reading about you. It should very concisely explain why your experience and/or education make you the very best candidate.

Page 2: Resume Your resume must never exceed one page. It should include your contact information, education, and work history. It may also include a community involvement, qualifications, or an objective section—If it will fit within the one page.

Page 3 (optional): References You may include a third page which includes three to five professional and/or personal references.

The work history section of your resume should include your most recent employers, your position held, and a maximum of 4 bullet points outlining what you were responsible for and/or accomplished. Only include the information that is relevant to your career objective. Including too much information or irrelevant information will only hinder you. Potential employers won’t take the time to read your resume if it is too long or does not relate to the position they are hiring for.

Example of work history section on your resume:

Molly’s Staffing Inc. Account Executive 291 SW Taylor Avenue, Portland, OR 97216 (503) 666-2911

June 2008—September 2010 • Developed strong recruiting campaigns to improve potential employee candidates. • Recruited, interviewed, evaluated, and placed staff to over 20 employers. • Processed new hire paperwork and served as liaison between clients and employees. • Coordinated, promoted, and organized events at career fairs, including presenting to students in various majors, interviewing prospective employees, and matching the most qualified candidates with particular jobs.

Once you have secured an interview, it is time to start researching. Let the internet be your friend and find out as much as you can about the company you will be interviewing with. It will be beneficial for you to walk into your interview and be knowledgeable about the company and their product or service. Remain calm and collected during your interview. Try to avoid nervous fidgeting, always maintain eye contact, and exude confidence. Proper appearance is a sure way to make or break an interview. You should look well groomed and be dressed appropriately for your interview. It is ok to dress a little above your pay grade when interviewing. For a woman, a nicely pressed two piece suit (pants or skirt) with conservative heels is best. Don’t wear too much makeup or jewelry and make sure your hair is tidy.One great way to set yourself apart from the competition is to send a thank you note after the interview. You can briefly thank them for taking the time to speak with you and let them know that you look forward to hearing from them soon.And remember; always believe in yourself, you can do this! Good luck!

Marisa K. BrownAccount ExecutiveCatawba Valley Staffing, [email protected]

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(Hero continued)ugly societal taboo that lurks behind many doors and many homes in our nation: domestic violence. I realized that I myself could continue to physically hide behind heavy drapes and doors and peek through my blinds at night. I could sit back and blame the judicial system and remain angry and remain victimized by the whole lacking process the courts have for protecting victims. I could be consumed with hate, fear, bitterness and more negative emotions, but I chose another path. I chose a path that was lit by the truth that comes from sharing my story, my reactions to the abuse, and my healing process. Ultimately, that choice was mine, and I chose the path of healing and hope.

Hero I developed an organization called Be A Voice Arts. BAVA is me, Michelle Johnson Major. It is my story and it is my art. My show depicts various self portraits I painted during my abusive marriage and afterwards. The paintings are tortured and emotional representations of fear and terror and the feeling of being trapped in a helpless, hopeless situation. In addition to showing portraits depicting the pain of abuse, I now show many of my portraits that were butchered by my husband. “How Do You Paint the Portrait of Domestic Violence?” shows the paintings my husband destroyed in an effort to bring awareness to the ugly secret many women are hiding. Viewing these works of art is very powerful and I know lives are being touched by my story the more it is shared. Many women have approached me and opened up about what has happened in their lives or in their daughter’s lives. I realized my story touches people. It opens doors for women to use their voices. Yet the most rewarding feeling came when I was called a hero by a student at my high school. Not necessarily for my teaching ability, but for my strength as a woman. My courage to speak out against something that is wrong and considered taboo to talk about has become my strength. My voice made me a hero to a teenage girl. Life can’t get any better than that!

Visit my website to view more of my artwork at www.beavoicearts.com


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It is no secret that I want another baby. I don’t talk about it much anymore, but I think everyone knows. I was told I would not have children before I was even 20 years old and it nearly crushed me. Yet, after six doctors and a lot of prayer, I have two babies in heaven and two little miracles on earth. I know every mother loves their children, but I think I love mine with a deepness that is exceptional. They are “Grace” babies, born of impossibility as a show of God’s goodness in my life. Still… I do long to add to our family again. In fact, I would be as happy as a clam to be like Michelle Duggar on TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting”. People think I’m crazy, but she is living my dream! Unfortunately, complications and a hysterectomy when my little boy was just four months old took away my chances for another pregnancy. We can’t have another baby through natural birth, but we do pray that we can adopt. We have talked to many different adoption agencies and applied to adopt through the foster care system months ago. In fact, our approval went through back in March of this year, but we are no closer to our new baby. The next step is a 6 week series of classes to be licensed by North Carolina to be foster parents. Every single time they have offered these classes, we have been unable to attend for reasons beyond our control. It is almost like God put up road blocks.

I got the call earlier this week with the new class dates. Of course, we will be out of town on the day of the first session. Now we must wait again and my mother’s heart is broken. It is hard to wait, but I know God has a reason. You see the things I went through while trying to have my first two children have taught me clearly that God’s purpose is worth our pain. There is a reason for my waiting. Somewhere in the world, there is a woman who is pregnant. She is carrying a child that she will choose not to mother for any number of reasons. She will courageously decide to place her baby for adoption and sacrifice her very heart for the well being of her child. I already think of this woman often. I pray for her. I long for the day when I can wrap her in a hug and thank her for her brave decision. I know that my child is growing in the womb of a woman somewhere. I can feel it. Whether she is in Catawba County or in some other part of the world, I don’t know. I just pray that in God’s time and in His perfect way, He will bring us together. In that moment, she will be the answer to my prayers, just as I will be the answer to hers. We will be two mothers with one child who is very loved. I know God’s timing is best. And even though it is hard to wait, I continue to pray for my baby and the precious woman who will choose life for my child.

Amber Benge is a writer and speaker who grew up in Catawba County. She strives to encourage women to encounter Jesus each day. You can see her speaking schedule and read more of her story at Strivingfor31.com

Waiting For A

Dreamby Amber Benge


Planning A Backyard Wedding?

Here Are Ten Practical Tips by Jay Chua

Planning your own wedding in your backyard is becoming an appealing alternative when compared to the high costs of renting. Since renting a suitable location can consume so much of the wedding budget all by itself and can be subject to complications beyond anyone's control, doing it yourself can save you a great deal of money. That's money that can be better spent on backyard and garden improvements to make the wedding a truly memorable event. If you've decided to take that plunge, here are some helpful tips to make sure you don't overlook anything at the last minute.

1. Do You Have Enough Room? Before you start arranging catering and other necessities, be sure of the amount of room you'll have available. Look over your guest list and think about others you plan to invite. This includes the photographers, the caterers, musicians and others. If you have limited space in your backyard, you'll have to reduce the number of people you can invite.

2. How Will the Weather Hold Up? Better to be safe than sorry goes the old saying and it is true in an outdoor event like your backyard wedding. Unless you are absolutely certain on the weather trends in your area, part of your preparations should include the possible need to move the festivities inside. If this is impractical due to the number of guests, then it may be necessary to arrange for tents or other temporary shelters from possible rain. And a sudden storm may not be the end of things. It might even add to the romance of the event.

3. What is Your Wedding Theme? Making this choice early on will make other decision making down the road much easier. Some people like an historical theme, like a Victorian wedding complete with appropriate décor and costume, while others like something simple and basic. Since you will be having an outdoor wedding, you have the option of using nature as a guide. Bunches of flowers or large bowls of fruit make interesting centerpieces, and brightly colored ribbons in yellow, blue, violet or other complementary colors look good next to a green and well maintained lawn.

4. What About the More Tedious Tasks? The good new is that since it's a wedding, everyone wants to help out! You can easily ask for help from family and friends to take care of the more mundane tasks while you take care of the more important planning aspects.

Examples of those tasks you'll need to delegate include: Arranging parking. Have someone look into possible locations nearby for parking or other ways guests can arrive and have their vehicles looked after. Maybe one will even act as a valet and take care of things for you if there is enough parking room nearby. Helping with the decorations. There's nothing like a small army of friends and family and all the kids helping to put up trim in the hedges, arrange flowers, set the chairs and tables properly, and make sure the lawn is raked and cleaned. Emergency preparations. The idea of inclement weather or a possible power outage makes it useful to have someone looking out for that possibility. Have someone arrange for a backup power generator for example, or procure tents or other supplies in case of bad weather.

5. Is Your Backyard in Good Shape? Weeks in advance, you need to make sure that the backyard is in the best possible shape for the big wedding day. Any bare spots in the lawn should be reseeded as soon as possible and make sure the lawn is also mowed well in

advance. Any repairs to the porch or patio, steps, or fixtures should be taken care of and any permanent items like outdoor lamps should be in good repair. You don't want anything to mar an otherwise perfect occasion, of course. And speaking of setup, don't forget that you aren't just decorating for one day. You have the opportunity to completely redo the backyard and garden as a place to enjoy for years to come. Is their room for new furniture like some white wooden porch swings? Or how about a new set of patio furniture or an outdoor dining area around the barbecue grill? Make sure that whatever you buy is durable and high quality.

6. Why Not Let Nature Help? Nature is full of abundant color and designs so you should make sure to plant flowers and shrubs that use this to your advantage. Choose the right colors and plant them well in advance to make sure they will be ready and in bloom for the wedding day. And the good thing about it is that they, like your new furnishings and fixtures, will last for years, always reminding you of the happy day each time you take a romantic walk through the garden on your anniversary.

7. What About the Right Music and Lighting to Really Set the Mood? Music is a very important addition to the wedding event, contributing to the mood, and setting the stage. Of course, this includes the famous wedding march for the bride and groom. Music can come from either traditional sources, such as a hired band or musician, but consider that in this day and age, it is possible to bring in the music via playlists stored on the computer. With speakers disguised to match the surrounding decoration theme, it can really add subtle class to a wedding if using a computer instead of live musicians would suit your theme. Also keep in mind the need for additional lighting. If your wedding takes place in the evening or at night, you'll need to set up a few lamps around the garden. Try using solar lamps to save money on energy bills, and perhaps even strings of small lights that can double as useful decorations around the tables, patio, or garden.

8. Should You Rent or Buy the Things You Need? You will most likely need to rent enough tables and chairs for the occasion, but the smaller items, glassware, dishes, etc. can be purchased then donated to charity afterwards to prevent waste. And by donating it becomes a possible tax deduction.

9. How Do You Keep it All Cool and Comfortable? Along with the necessity for keeping your guests dry in case of sudden changes in weather, maintaining the cool is important as well. This can be accomplished in several ways, from strategically placed fans to using special misting systems that can keep a cool refreshing mist going without making everything wet.

10. How Are You Going to Record the Event? There are many ways to do this and this is one step that certainly should not be neglected. Who wouldn't want pictures to immortalize their wedding day? You can get all the guests in on the fun by giving everyone disposable cameras so they can take home their own share of the memories. For your own album, however, you might want to have a professional photographer circulate around and take pictures with a practiced eye to catch those perfect moments that others might miss. He or she could even set up a backdrop off to the side and take portraits of the couples that would like them.

These ten steps are only a few of the many things to keep in mind when planning the perfect wedding but they should help keep you focused so that when vows are exchanged everyone will feel the love and excitement in the air.

Jay Chua is the publisher of PorchSwingSets.com. As an Internet Entrepreneur, both he and his wife Deisy keep up on wedding design trends and the website offers reviews of attractive porch swings and hammock sets that compliment any backyard or garden. Living in Vancouver, Canada they love to indulge their passion for home and garden then spend some quiet time on the classic Hatteras rope hammocks resting in their rope hammock stand


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Thad & Lou i seLucky L i ly ’s

J i l l ybean’s Crea t ionsAr t i s t Tommy S t ine

Ar t i s t Rober t Wick lanAr t i s t Pa t t i Fenn ick

Ar t i s t Der f l aAr t i s t J im Nor r i s

Ar t i s t Books By S ig r idAr t i s t K i ra

HaZgo l fHea l thy Home Marke t Expres s

Ch i l l e r Pho tosThe Cook ie Nook

Gi f t s Fo r Al l Occas ionsBe l l e Te r reGerog ina ’s

Ida Lee ’sOpen Hear t s Bake ry

Head Over Hee lzThe Tumble r Depo t

Susan Gues t In t e r io r sLane F lo r i s t & Gi f t s

UnPla in JaneThe P lan ta t ion

Ophe l i a ’s Web Des ignCap tu re The Moment Pho tography

Madi son RoseCol l eg ia t e Fana t i c sConfec t ion Heaven

Hei r loomsColo rWhi r l

Tybee CharmYour Swee t Bou t ique

S i s t e r CompanyThe Co l l eg ia t e Fana t i c

Fancy B loomersMerchan t s o f t he Globe

Dana’s F ine Jewe l ry a t t he Empor iumDY Or ig ina l s

sophie woman's magazine oct 2010 issue

Documents

z i n efreesusan sterling

hero pg

dream pg

lot of children

lot of different things

lot of different reasons

lot of anger

lot of ways