2/10/15, 12:56 PMThe Hardest Post I Ever Wrote - The Pennington Point

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Lisa’s Blog At The Point Faith & Parent ing Reviews

The$Hardest$Post$I$Ever$Wrote

posted'by' LISA

So,$this$is$gonna$be$hard.$$I$don’t$want$to$write$it$and$I$wish$I$could$just$hide$instead$of$sharing.$I$am$sure$the$post$will$end$up$being$too$long$and$really$difficult$to$read.$$I$am$sorry$for$that.$$Ifyou$don’t$want$to$see$inside$my$very$wounded$heart$then$I$recommend$that$you$go$ahead$nowand$click$through$to$somewhere$else.

6October$2014

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Search$The$Point!

SEARCH THIS WEBSITE…SEARCH THIS WEBSITE…

I$am$too$raw$and$hurting$to$be$delicate.

In$telling$you$about$what$is$going$on$here,$I$want$to$try$to$share$my$own$life$with$you$withoutexposing$others.$$Their$story$is$their$own$to$tell.$$I$can$only$tell$you$mine.

OK….so$here$goes.$${deep$breath::::feel$like$throwing$up}

On$Wednesday,$September$24th$my$life$was$changed$forever.$$My$18$year$old$daughter$lefthome.$$She$gave$us$no$warning,$no$signs$that$it$was$coming.$$She$didn’t$try$to$talk$to$us$about$itor$work$with$us.$$She,$with$the$help$of$my$parents,$just$left.$$And$with$her$she$took$pieces$of$myheart$that$had$been$torn$to$shreds.$$I$cried$harder$that$day$than$I$ever$knew$was$possible.$$Sohard$that$it$scared$my$liSle$boys$and$I$had$to$go$in$my$closet$and$put$a$pillow$over$my$faceto$muffle$the$sobs.

We$have$spent$the$past$11$days$trying$to$make$head$or$tails$out$of$what$happened.$$Why$didshe$leave?$$How$can$we$help$her?$$What$will$happen$next?

We$got$no$real$answers.$$Only$more$confusion$as$some$of$the$circumstances$unfolded.$$Wediscovered$that$my$parents$had$been$planning$this$with$her$without$telling$us$(as$you$canimagine,$an$additional$part$of$my$grief$is$not$only$the$loss$of$my$daughter$but$the$total$end$ofthe$relationship$with$my$parents).$$We$also$learned$that$she$has$been$telling$exaggerated$storiesabout$what$is$going$on$inside$our$home$to$a$godless$woman$who$has$been$giving$her$foolishcounsel$and$encouraging$her$to$deceive$us$and$get$out.

These$decisions$our$daughter$has$made$are$unimaginable$to$me$and$completely$out$of$characterfrom$the$girl$I$know.

Believe$me,$James$and$I$are$all$too$aware$that$we$are$not$innocent$in$this.$$We$played$a$part$inthis$problem.$$We$made$mistakes$and$we$have$apologized$to$her,$genuinely$repented$and$areasking$the$Holy$Spirit$to$guide$us$through$this.$$It$feels$impossible$to$think$rationally$so$wehave$sought$counsel$from$men$who$give$us$Scripture$to$build$us$up.$$We$are$taking$each$stepcarefully$and$trying$to$hold$on$to$the$One$who$knows$us$beSer$than$we$know$ourselves.$$Idon’t$want$to$paint$myself$as$perfect$here.$$I$am$as$imperfect$as$I$can$imagine$anyone$being.

We$did$have$a$meeting$with$our$daughter$about$a$week$after$she$left$and$it$became$obviouswhen$we$agreed$to$give$her$everything$she$was$asking$for$that$she$did$not$intend$to$comehome.$$She$had$sent$us$a$list$of$things$she$wanted$to$change$at$home,$but$because$we$agreed$toall$of$the$changes$and$she$still$won’t$come$home….it$seems$there$must$be$something$deeperthere$that$she$isn’t$telling$us.

I"ask"myself,"“How"can"I"help"her"if"she"won’t"tell"me"the"truth?”"

And"I"beg,""“Lord,"please"help"me"forgive"the"betrayal"and"react"with"your"righteousness"andlove.”

Yesterday$she$came$and$got$all$of$her$things.$$That$tore$out$more$of$my$heart$and$if$I$am$beingcompletely$honest,$threw$me$into$a$tailspin$that$it$feels$like$I$will$never$recover$from.$$I$can’tstop$crying$and$I$can’t$turn$off$the$thoughts$of$pain$and$desperation.$$Sleep$will$not$come;$Idon’t$eat;$I$can’t$focus.

But$I$know$the$truth.$$That$I$can$recover$and$become$stronger$with$God’s$help.

I$know$that$He$loves$us$all$so$much$more$than$I$love$my$daughter.$$I$know$He$is$guiding$all$ofour$paths$and$even$though$I$don’t$see$it$now,$He$did$prepare$me$for$this.$$I$know$that$His

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promises$are$sure$and$He$will$never$leave$me$or$forsake$me.

Not"for"one"second"has"my"faith"wavered"or"my"trust"in"God"been"lost."

Not$that$I$feel$sure$that$she$will$be$fine$or$that$she$will$ever$come$back$or$that$I$will$ever$see$myparents$again.$$I$know$that$none$of$that$may$happen.

I$also$grieve$the$selfish$loss$of$wanting$my$life$to$be$a$certain$way.$$A$happy$family,$loving$oneanother,$all$of$my$children$that$care$for$each$other$and$respect$their$parents.$$That$is$gone$forme.$$I$may$never$have$that$and$you$know$what?$$It’s$OK.

May"He"be"glorified"through"my"suffering"and"loss."

My$morning$walks$have$meant$more$to$me$than$ever$as$I$pour$the$broken$pieces$of$my$heartout$at$the$feet$of$God.$$He$picks$them$up$and$gently$puts$them$back$in$place.$$Then$they$fallapart$again….over$and$over$and$over.$$I$know$with$certainty$that$one$day$those$pieces$will$beall$put$together$and$they$will$stay$right$where$they$belong…..glued$with$the$grace$of$a$Fatherthat$loved$me$enough$to$sacrifice$his$own$child$for$me.$$Oh,$that$I$am$now$experiencing$onethousandth$of$that$same$pain.

So$this$tragedy$is$now$a$part$of$the$story$of$my$life.

I"pray"that"the"glory"of"God"shines"through"all"that"I"do"even"in"the"midst"of"trials.

His$Word$has$been$a$healing$balm$to$my$soul$and$given$me$strength$to$get$through$eachmoment.$$It$pushes$out$the$despair$and$washes$it$away$with$love$and$peace$and$wisdom$that$Ican$trust$with$every$fiber$of$my$being.

2"Corinthians"4:16M18""“So'we'do'not'lose'heart.'Though'our'outer'self'is'wasting'away,'our'inner'self'isbeing'renewed'day'by'day.'For'this'light'momentary'affliction'is'preparing'for'us'an'eternal'weight'ofglory'beyond'all'comparison,'as'we'look'not'to'the'things'that'are'seen'but'to'the'things'that'are'unseen.For'the'things'that'are'seen'are'transient,'but'the'things'that'are'unseen'are'eternal.”

I$would$so$appreciate$your$prayers$for$not$only$my$heartbreak,$but$my$other$children$as$theycry$and$constantly$ask$me$why$this$happened$and$endure$their$own$betrayal$and$pain.$Watching$them$suffer$through$this$has$been$even$more$painful$than$my$own$struggle.$$Theirprecious$lives$will$never$be$the$same$either.$$And$please$pray$for$my$husband$as$he$finds$thestrength$and$wisdom$to$lead$a$sobbing$wife,$grieving$children$and$a$lost$daughter$through$thishorrific$event$in$our$lives.

For$those$of$you$keeping$up$with$this$situation,$here$is$the$latest$update.

Thank'you'for'reading'and'praying.''I'would'appreciate'your'sensitivity'if'you'choose'to'leave'a'commentsince'we'are'grieving.'''Please'refrain'from'offering'your'thoughts'on'18'year'olds'and'their'rights'orwhat'you'think'of'our'parenting'choices.''Believe'me,'we'do'not'want'to'keep'anyone'in'our'home'thatdoesn’t'want'to'be'here.''This'is'not'about'whether'she'should'be'here'or'not.'''It'is'about'treating'thepeople'you'love'with'honesty,'honor,'respect'and'dignity.'''Any'comments'condemning'our'beliefs'orcriticizing'our'daughter'will'be'deleted.'

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Comments

LoisOctober'11,'2014'at'1:55'am

Hang$in$there!$You$have$already$gone$to$the$very$best$person$for$help.$Remember$that$He$more$thananyone$knows$exactly$what$you$are$going$through$during$this$time$and$He$will$give$you$thestrength$and$guidance$to$get$through$it.$As$someone$who$experienced$major$loss$as$a$teen$I$want$toencourage$you$to$not$hide$your$grief$completely$from$your$children.$It$will$help$them$to$know$thatthey$are$not$the$only$one$suffering$during$this$trial.$Not$only$that$but$a$burden$shared$is$a$burdencarried$together.$The$loss$my$family$experienced$when$I$was$a$teen$drew$my$family$together.$Noweven$twenty$years$later$my$brothers$and$I$are$very$close.

PaigeOctober'11,'2014'at'9:27'am

Lisa,$thank$you$for$sharing$something$so$incredibly$personal.$It$has$been$awhile$since$I$read$yourblog,$but$for$some$reason$I$felt$compelled$to$read$it$today.$I$have$always$believed$that$nothing,absolutely$nothing,$happens$in$God’s$world$by$mistake.$We$may$never$know$the$reason,$but$He$hasa$plan.$When$I$am$going$through$difficulties,$this$belief$has$helped$carry$me$through.$As$a$mother,$Ican’t$even$imagine$the$pain$you$must$be$enduring.$I$will$be$praying$for$you$and$your$family.

KarenOctober'11,'2014'at'2:07'pm

Praying$for$your$family.$This$will$be$a$very$difficult$journey$for$everyone$involved.$My$oldestdaughter$ran$away$at$age$17$and$was$lost$and$confused$for$14$years.$I$became$deeply$depressed$and

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was$just$going$through$the$motions$for$years.$Satan$was$aSacking$our$family$daily.$Thankfully,$Godheard$our$cries.$Our$daughter$has$turned$back$to$the$Lord$and$reunited$with$her$family.$It$has$takentime$to$mend$our$relationship.$It$is$good$that$you$realize$how$much$your$younger$children$arehurting.$Be$there$for$them$as$they$deal$with$their$anger$or$sense$of$betrayal.$God$is$in$control!$Keepholding$on$to$his$promises!Blessings

angela gaddisOctober'11,'2014'at'4:36'pm

Lisa,$I’m$praying$for$you$family.$This$is$every$mother’s$worse$nightmare$and$I’m$so$sorry$you$aregoing$through$this.$I$pray$as$well$that$God$is$glorified$through$all$of$this.

MichelleOctober'11,'2014'at'6:41'pm

While$I$can’t$even$begin$to$fathom$what$you’re$going$through,$you$have$my$thoughts$and$prayers.Thank$you$for$sharing$what’s$going$on,$despite$how$personal$and$heartbreaking$it$is$for$you.$Youhave$my$admiration$that$you$cling$to$your$faith$through$such$circumstances.$You$are$an$example$ofpraising$Him$even$during$the$storm.

MarisunflowersOctober'11,'2014'at'7:00'pm

We’ll$pray$for$you,$for$all$of$you,$including$you,$your$husband,$your$daughter,$your$other$children,yous$parents$and$any$other$person$involved$and/or$suffering$for$this.

In$my$country$we$say$that$what$doesn’t$kill$you$makes$you$stronger.$You$know$that$He$is$yourStregth.$Hold$his$Holy$hand$and$keep$walking.$He$will$lead$you$where$you$have$to$go,$maybe$notwhere$you$would$have$wanted$to$go,$however.

And$don’t$loose$hope.

My$father$was$very$angry$to$me$when$I$encouraged$my$sister$to$emancipate$(different$situation,$shehad$already$finished$university$and$was$working)$because$they$had$a$very$hard$relationship$and$hethought$that$he$would$never$see$her$again.$But$they$were$unable$to$stop$fighting$and$it$was$not$ahealthy$relationship.$I$knew$that$they$needed$some$distance.

Today$they$were$together$celebrating$my$parents$anniversary,$calling$us$to$share$the$happiness$ofbeing$together$with$us.

I$don’t$say$that$your$daughter$made$a$wise$decission$or$that$your$parents$were$right$not$telling$you.I$just$say$that$maybe$she$needs$to$be$further$to$understand$how$important$you$are$for$her$and$tocome$back$and$rebuild$her$relationship$with$you$in$a$more$open$and$sincere$way,$because$it$is$clear

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that,$for$some$reason,$she$wasn’t$telling$you$what$was$really$happening$in$her$heart.

As$I$said,$we$pray$for$all$of$you,$so$that$you$will$find$the$way$to$get$reunited$again$by$God’s$Loveand$Wisdom.

Now$everything$looks$dark$and$frightening,$but$you$know$that$He$who$loves$you$will$lead$you$towhere$you$have$to$go$and$give$you$the$streght$to$be$who$you$need$to$be.$You’ll$keep$crying,$as$Jesuscried$for$Lazarus,$but$there$is$a$happy$ending$for$this$story,$although$it$can$be$an$unespected$one.Never$loose$hope.

GwenOctober'12,'2014'at'8:27'pm

Prayers$for$reconciliation$&$restoration.$Also,$for$your$health$during$this$trial.$God$bless$you.

Marie@The Interior FrugalistaOctober'13,'2014'at'1:00'pm

Lisa,$you$and$your$family$are$in$my$thoughts.$I$know$the$pain$when$your$18$year$old$walks$out$thedoor$and$I$also$know$the$pain$of$betrayal$and$separation$from$the$souls$who$raised$you.$Sendingyou$hugs.

ShonnaOctober'13,'2014'at'2:15'pm

Proverbs$22:6$Train$up$a$child$in$the$way$he$should$go,$And$when$he$is$old$he$will$not$depart$fromit.I$admire$your$faith$and$strength$in$God.$This$was$all$planned$for$some$reason$or$other$and$when$itis$time$pieces$will$be$unveiled$to$you.$Satan$is$out$to$steal$and$destroy$our$seed,$praise$God$that$he$isnot$in$charge$but$God$is$and$NOTHING$can$happen$without$His$say.$Stay$strong$in$your$faith!$♡Prayers$for$you,$your$husband,$the$children$amd$your$daughter.

Kim OylerOctober'13,'2014'at'2:29'pm

We$are$pastors$and$are$in$a$similar$situation$with$our$son.$The$shame,$grief,$disappointment$andaching$hurt$are$all$there.$We$have$made$mistakes$just$as$you$mentioned.$But$we$love$our$childrenand$we$all$make$mistakes$as$parents.$After$all,$it’s$the$hardest$thing$a$person$can$ever$doi$raise$achild!$She$is$responsible$for$her$choices$which$are$not$necessarily$a$direct$reflection$on$you.$I$read

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the$book$Losing$Control$and$Liking$It.$It$has$helped$me$to$sort$out$who’s$responsible$for$what$in$theparent/teen$relationship.$I$hand$this$book$out$to$everyone!$Maybe$it$could$be$a$blessing$to$you$aswell.$Praying$for$you.$You’re$not$alone!

DebbieOctober'13,'2014'at'7:58'pm

Thank$you$for$sharing$your$heart..my$heart$is$breaking$for$you….Jim$Cymbala$(pastor$of$theBrooklyn$Tabernacle)$and$his$daughter,$Chrissy$Toledo,$just$shared$their$testimony$of$how$Godanswered$prayer$when$Chrissy$left$home,$living$a$life$of$sin.$I$think$you$might$be$able$to$watch$it$onthe$Revive$Our$Hearts$app,$but$if$not,$Chrissy’s$book$is$coming$out$soon$and$you$can$be$encouragedby$what$God$did$through$prayer.$Going$to$pray$for$you$and$your$whole$family$tonight.$TheBrooklyn$Tabernacle$has$a$prayer$team$that$will$pray$for$your$daughter$for$the$next$30$days$on:brooklyntabernacle.org

Cortney StilesOctober'14,'2014'at'7:58'am

Hi,

I’m$so$sorry$for$your$loss.$I$pray$your$daughter’s$heart$will$be$changed.$She$was$raised$by$Godlyparents.$Train$a$child$up$in$the$way$they$should$go$and$when$they$are$old$will$not$depart$from$thefaith$is$so$true$and$a$hope$to$hold$on$to$with$your$daughter.

I$did$something$similar$to$her,$I$left$at$the$age$of$21$to$California$and$didn’t$tell$anyone$but$my$sisterbut$not$for$months$later.$It$was$7$months$until$I$talked$to$my$mom$over$the$phone,$which$didn’t$gowell.

I$was$broken,$deeply$wounded$by$my$childhood$and$blamed$my$parents$at$the$time$for$all$myproblems,$plus$I$was$dealing$with$demonic$oppression$ay$the$time.

The$reason$I$am$telling$you$this$is$because$now$I’m$34$married$with$two$boys$11$months$and$2.$Ittook$me$a$long,$long$time$to$get$past$the$pain$and$hurt$I$was$feeling$towards$my$parents.$Afterhaving$a$family$of$my$own$helped$change$my$total$perspective$on$how$I$viewed$my$parents$andchildhood.$I$see$now$even$though$they$made$huge$mistakes$they$were$sinners$just$like$everyone$elseand$raising$kids$is$extremely$hard.$They$did$the$best$they$could$do$at$the$time.$They$were$dealingwith$there$own$pain$and$struggles$and$still$loved$me$unconditionally$and$never$stopped$praying$forme$and$were$always$there$for$me$when$I$needed$anything.$Not$a$lot$of$people$can$say$that$abouttheir$parents.

Whatever$it$is$that$your$daughters$hurt$from$only$God$can$change.$Like$He$did$for$me.$Maybe$shewill$have$to$be$married$with$children$of$her$own$to$have$a$diffrent$perspective$and$apprecition$foryou$and$your$family.$Only$God$knows$what$that$is$that$she$is$needing$healing$in.

As$for$responding$with$her$with$love$is$the$best$way$to$handle$it,$for$its$not$easy.$I$pray$forguideness$and$peace$for$you$whole$family.

God$Bless.

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With$love,Cortney

Cortney StilesOctober'14,'2014'at'8:46'am

Lisa,

m$sorry$if$my$previous$post$offended$you$or$your$family.$It$was$not$my$intention.

SallyOctober'14,'2014'at'10:12'pm

Lisa,$I$am$new$to$your$blog$so$just$geSing$to$know$you$via$your$blog.$If$your$daughter$had$come$toyou$and$said$she$planned$to$move$out$would$you$have$given$her$your$blessings?$Is$it$her$leavingthat$has$you$so$upset$or$was$it$the$way$she$went$about$it?$It$is$preSy$normal$to$leave$home$after$highschool.$My$daughter$left$at$18,$my$sons$at$21$and$25.$They$all$did$well$in$establishing$theirindependence.$What$age$did$you$leave$home$at?$It$sounds$like$you$have$older$daughters$still$athome.$What$are$their$plans$for$establishing$their$own$lives?$In$time$I’m$guessing$you’ll$be$reconciledwith$your$daughter$and$have$a$relationship$based$on$both$being$adults.

AnneOctober'15,'2014'at'4:36'am

Thank$you$for$sharing$this$with$us.$See,$several$years$ago$I$believed$in$the$whole,$“Stay$At$HomeDaughter”$spiel.$I$wanted$my$extremely$outgoing$daughter$to$stay$at$home,$not$go$to$college,$beunder$our$roof$until$marriage.$My$husband$wisely$told$me$this.$You$can$do$that,$but$you$will$loseher.$Is$it$REALLY$worth$it$to$you?$Several$years$have$passed$and$my$daughter$is$now$a$sophomoreat$a$MAJOR$university$in$a$large$college$town,$living$her$dream.$We$pay$for$everything$for$her,including$a$lovely$apartment.$I$have$NEVER$been$prouder.$We$talk$every$day,$and$we$are$extremelyclose.$I$am$so$glad$I$listened$to$my$husband.$I$am$glad$your$parents$were$there$for$her!!$Many$girlsaren’t$that$blessed.

StephanieOctober'15,'2014'at'7:56'am

Lisa,So$sorry$for$your$struggles.$This$reminded$me$of$a$movie$I$saw$recently$that$might$encourage$you…Grace$Unplugged.

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Praying$for$everyone’s$hearts$to$tune$in$to$God’s$love,$mercy$and$His$will.Hugs.

MelissaOctober'15,'2014'at'2:48'pm

Sweet$lisa….$iam$hurting$alongside$my$sister$in$Christ.$I$am$so$so$sorry$for$the$pain$you$are$feelingright$now:($I$have$never$left$a$comment$anywhere$before$so$iam$not$even$sure$iam$doing$this$rightbut$I$felt$the$Lord$prompting$me$to$do$so.$You$don’t$know$this$but$I$found$your$blog$throughresearching$if$I$should$homeschool$or$not$and$you$have$been$such$an$encouragement$to$me.$I$havebeen$crying$for$2$months$debating$on$homeschooling.$I$feel$led$to$but$too$scared!$I$always$look$toyour$blog$for$the$courage$I$need$to$do$it.$I$really$appreciate$your$transparency$with$your$family.$Weare$all$just$Gods$beautiful$messes,$ok$sinners.$But$I$love$your$heart,$I$love$to$hear$that$you$arechoosing$to$trust$when$you$don’t$feel$like$it….an$encouragement$to$all$of$us:)$by$the$way….Thesituation$with$you$daughter$doesn’t$steer$me$away$from$homeschool.$If$anything.$…it$inspires$me$tobe$a$courageous$woman$of$God$like$you$are$doing.$I$want$to$pray$with$you….God$you$are$a$healingGod$who$brings$peace$to$the$hurting.$I$pray$you$encompass$lisa$and$and$her$precious$family$withyour$special$presence,$so$she$can$feel$you$so$close$that$she$can$almost$feel$your$sweet$breath$on$hercheek.$Lord,$I$pray$you$bring$her$husband$unshakable$wisdom$and$hope$as$he$leads$all$the$hurtinghearts$under$his$care.$Father,$I$pray$you$bless$and$honor$this$family$for$being$so$open$andvulnerable$bringing$you$all$the$glory.$Lord,$soften$all$hearts$involved$protecting$all$against$theenemy$and$that$everyone$has$their$eyes$and$hearts$on$you.$God$we$trust$you$and$we$thank$you$forall$you$are$going$to$do$in$this$family.$In$your$very$powerful$name…Jesus…Amen.$I$wish$I$couldgive$you$and$all$you$family$a$big$hug$including$the$daughter$that$has$left$the$home$for$now$becauseI$know$she$is$hurting$too.$Big$hugs$to$you$lisa,$I$feel$like$you$have$been$a$friend$to$me$for$a$while$soiam$sad$with$you.$Lots$of$love.$I$would$love$to$keep$praying$for$you.Melissa

MelodyOctober'15,'2014'at'3:19'pm

Dear$Lisa:$Your$daughter$could$have$been$me,$without$the$help$of$grandparents.$I$rebelled$againstmy$parents,$against$God,$and$anyone$else$who$did$not$tell$me$what$I$wanted$to$hear.$I$ran$fromGod,$and$from$His$will.$It$took$me$years$to$come$to$my$senses.$I$am$sorry$if$this$does$not$start$out$assensitive$as$it$is$intended$to$be.$Eventually$though,$God$did$start$working$in$my$life.$He$allowed$meto$become$about$as$broken$as$a$woman$can$be.$Today$I$have$a$good$relationship$with$my$parents,am$married$to$a$wonderful$man$and$have$two$daughters$that$are$near$and$dear$to$my$heart.$But$thatall$happened$through$God’s$gracious$mercy.$If$He$can$fix$me,$there$is$hope$for$anyone$–$especiallyyour$daughter.$I$will$lift$her,$you,$and$your$family$up$to$Him$to$comfort$and$heal.$God$is$able$andSO$good.$Hugs$from$NC.

KimOctober'17,'2014'at'1:39'am

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My$Dear$Sister,I$will$keep$your$family$in$prayer$as$I$know$all$too$well$the$pain$you$describe.$We$went$through$avery$similar$situation$with$our$son$when$he$was$16$($so$similar,$I$am$taken$back$to$the$very$day$as$Iread$your$post$)$I$offer$no$advice,$just$my$prayers$and$what$the$Holy$Spirit$told$me$during$thistime……..He$said$be$silent,$and$let$Me$have$control.$It$was$the$hardest$thing$I$had$to$do.$I$wanted$torestore$our$family,$our$reputation,$and$our$peace.$I$wanted$to$hurt$the$people$who$were$hurting$us,my$parents.$I$wanted$to$start$a$campaign$to$tell$all$the$people$who$had$heard$lies,$and$slander$aboutour$family$but$I$was$told$to$be$silent.$The$weight$and$the$seriousness$with$which$the$Lord$dealt$withme$was$overwhelming$and$I$had$no$choice$but$to$obey.$I$learned$a$lot$in$that$season…I$could$write$abook.$My$son$is$about$to$turn$21$this$Saturday,$He$is$coming$HOME.$God$restored$our$relationshipand$I$have$placed$Him$in$the$Fathers$hands.$It$has$not$been$an$easy$journey,$and$my$son$stillstruggles$with$great$sin$but$he$calls$us$when$he$is$struggling.$He$comes$home$when$he$is$on$leavebecause$it$is$the$only$place$he$can$find$peace.$He$longs$to$walk$in$the$light$of$the$Father$butconsequences$from$sin$have$left$Him$with$many$scars.$I$am$grateful$to$have$my$son$and$I$amtrusting$that$the$one$who$is$faithful$will$set$His$heart$ablaze$again,$and$deliver$him$from$thebondage$of$sin.$Again$I$do$not$want$to$offer$advice,$just$prayers$from$another$sister/mama$in$arms.Blessings$and$comfort$to$you.

B.October'19,'2014'at'8:09'pm

Lisa$I$feel$for$you$in$this$situation.$Have$you$all$been$able$to$discuss$it$with$each$other$at$all$or$is$shenot$talking$to$you?$I’m$wondering$if$the$reason$she$left$without$discussing$it$with$you$first$is$thatshe$didn’t$know$if$you$would$really$listen$to$her$side.$Sometimes$kids$feel$that$their$parents$are$notreally$listening$or$won’t$really$listen,$so$they$just$don’t$even$try$to$communicate.One$thing$that$stood$out$to$me$is$that$you$said$she$has$been$telling$exaggerated$stories…please,please$reithink$this…puSing$on$your$blog$or$telling$other$people$that$her$stories$are$exaggeratedmakes$it$sound$as$though$you$are$accusing$her$of$lying…you$may$think$she$IS$lying,$but,$if$youwant$to$restore$communication$with$her$you$cannot$accuse$her$of$lying..or$tell$others$she$isexaggerating…whether$she$is$right$or$wrong,$she$feels$what$she$feels$and$it$IS$the$truth$TO$HER.Her$story$IS$the$truth$TO$HER.$Please$listen$to$her$feelings$about$what$has$happened,$withoutjumping$to$conclusions$and$without$saying$to$her$or$to$anyone$else$that$she$is$just$exaggerating.$Forwhatever$reason,$she$feels$this$way.$Her$feelings$are$real..Sometimes$children$have$a$VERY$differentmemory$of$what$happened$than$what$their$parents$memory$is.$Usually$this$is$because$the$child$wassmaller,$weaker,$frightened$etc,$and$so$what$they$remember$is$much$scarier$than$what$the$parentthinks$happened.$A$parent$may$remember$an$episode$of$discipline$and$think$it$was$just$to$teach$thechild$correct$behavior,$yet$what$the$child$remembers$is$feeling$small$and$feeling$terrified$for$theirsafety,$feeling$rejected$by$the$parent,$etc.$Children’s$memories$can$be$very$different$from$what$theparent$remembers.$Just$keep$this$in$mind.

B.October'19,'2014'at'8:23'pm

I$submiSed$a$comment$(which$I$didn’t$realize$our$last$names$would$be$public$ally$displayed,$oops)but$wanted$to$add$onto$it.$I$put$advice/other$perspective$in$my$previous$comment,$but,$I$did$notsound$as$encouraging$as$I$meant$to…I$stand$by$my$advice,$but$I$also$want$to$tell$you$to$have

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courage..$We$don’t$know$why$things$happen$the$way$they$do,$but,$remember$that$God$can$keepworking$through$us$and$prayer$works….There$is$still$work$to$be$done,$and$in$time,$this$could$endup$being$your$daughter’s$beautiful$testimony$of$how$God$called$out$to$her$,$met$her$where$she$was,and$worked$in$her$life.$Her$story$is$not$finished$being$wriSen$yet.

BelindaOctober'20,'2014'at'8:28'pm

Lisa$–

Thank$for$your$honesty$…$You$are$in$my$prayers!

Love,$~B

DawnOctober'21,'2014'at'2:58'pm

Lisa,$a$friend$of$mine$shared$this$post$with$me$and$said$it$reminded$her$of$me$and$my$son.$And$itdoes.$My$son$ran$away$from$home$on$April$7,2013$as$we$were$preparing$to$leave$to$celebrate$his$5year$old$brother’s$birthday.$He$is$completely$consumed$with$his$girlfriend$and$with$the$counsel$ofher$and$her$parents,$he$has$had$no$relationship$with$us$since$that$day.$We$have$tried$communicatingwith$him$many$times$but$he$gets$disrespectful$and$so$conceited$that$I$can’t$stand$it.$He$was$raised$ina$Christian$home$but$has$chosen$to$be$with$an$unsaved$girl.$He$was$supposed$to$go$to$a$greatChristian$college$after$he$graduated$(last$June)$he$didn’t$go.$He$is$working$2$jobs$and$has$enrolled$inan$online$college$while$she$goes$to$the$college$she$wants$to$go$to$and$he$I’m$sure$is$visiting$her$asmuch$as$possible.$I$am$so$worried$they$will$end$up$married.$My$heart$hurts$and$breaks$daily.$I$have4$other$boys$all$younger$than$him$and$I$wonder$what$will$happen$when$they$turn$18.$They$are$alsoheart$broken$and$used$to$ask$daily$when$he$will$come$home,$why$did$he$leave,…..$how$am$Isupposed$to$answer$that$when$I$don’t$know$myself.$It$is$great$to$know$you$have$not$lost$your$faith.$Ihave$not$either$although$I$have$struggled$with$my$faith$and$still$do.$All$I$ever$wanted$to$be$is$aMom$and$now$that$world$is$being$rocked$to$the$core.$Thanks$for$sharing$your$heart$it’s$good$toknow$I$am$not$alone$in$this$heart$breaking$journey.

DebOctober'23,'2014'at'10:11'am

I$have$not$read$your$blog$in$a$while$and$just$know$that$I$am$sooo$sorry.$I$have$girls,$one$19$and$oneabout$to$be$18.$I$am$sooo$sorry.$I$wish$that$I$had$words$of$wisdom$spoken$from$experience$ofeverything$turning$out$ok,$but$we$all$know$that$things$don’t$always$turn$out$ok,$but$that$in$no$waytakes$away$from$the$fact$that$God$loves$us$and$is$absolutely$perfect$and$good$all$the$time.$He$can$betrusted$whatever$the$outcome.$So$thankful$that$you$can$rest$on$His$eternal$promises.$May$Godrichly$bless$you$as$you$go$through$this$trial$and$draw$you$closer$to$Him$than$you$ever$dreamedpossible.

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tharOctober'25,'2014'at'1:01'am

:v($My$heart$connected$with$you$and$breaks$for$you.$My$parents,$too,$now$have$a$broken$relationshipwith$me$(because$they$projected$on$to$us$what$they$want$for$our$family,$instead$of$respecting$ourright$to$choose$and$our$diligence$to$carefully$choosing.)$I$will$pray$for$your$daughter,$ithat$thiswould$be$a$time$of$genuine$reflection$and$growth,$not$wasted$but$rather$producing$good$fruit$in$herlife,$though$it$is$causing$so$much$anquish$and$uncertainty$at$the$moment.$She$surely$knows$youdeeply$love$her$and$want$the$very$best$for$her,$in$spite$of$the$disillusion$she$may$be$experiencing.May$God$guide$her$heart,$and$yours,$to$a$future$place$of$reconciliation.

PatriciaOctober'25,'2014'at'9:24'am

Hi,$Lisa.$It$seems$once$again,$we$have$something$in$common.$I$feel$very$close$to$you$right$now,$eventhough$we$have$never$met.$Our$daughter$is$going$through$a$difficult$time$too$and$I$could$relate$towhat$you$wrote.$I$will$be$praying$for$all$of$you$as$you$try$to$heal$and$understand$this$situation.

KristinOctober'27,'2014'at'6:48'pm

Lisa,I$hurt$for$you$and$what$you$are$going$through$with$your$daughter.$When$I$was$18,$I$also$left$home.However,$I$spoke$to$my$mom$before$leaving,$and$never$intended$to$be$gone$long.$Our$talk$didn’t$gowell$(her$reaction$was$not$good)$and$I$ended$up$being$gone$much$longer$than$I$planned.$Ourrelationship,$already$strained,$was$worse$after$that.$Thankfully,$we$now$have$a$close$relationship,and$speak$several$times$a$week.$It’s$been$more$than$20$years$since$the$day$I$left.$The$healing$hastaken$time,$and$sometimes$the$old$wounds$resurface,$but$time$has$lessened$the$pain.$I$share$that$tojust$encourage$you$to$keep$praying$for$her$(I$know$my$mom$did),$and$keep$loving$her.$Now,$as$amom$of$many,$and$dealing$with$some$teenage$“angst”,$I$understand$even$more$clearly$how$mydecision(s)$affected$my$mom.$(((Hugs,$mama)))$God$is$good,$all$the$time.$And$all$the$time,$God$isgood.$His$mercies$are$new$every$morning…

Susan HowardOctober'27,'2014'at'8:51'pm

Lisa$~$I$am$so$sorry$to$hear$this.$I$know$it$has$to$be$hard$when$its$your$own$parents$assisting$inthismaSer.$I$want$go$in$to$detail….but$I$too$had$to$do$away$w$all$contact$w$my$biological$mom$($mygrandmother$basically$raised$me…that’s$who$I$bonded$with$)$but$its$was$just$to$much$heartache….I

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was$the$one$being$hurt$&$couldn’t$do$or$allow$anymore.$But$you$have$a$beautiful$family$!!$I$willkeep$you$in$my$prayers.$..the$whole$family.$Love$ya$Lisa$ $keep$us$posted$when$you$can.

VeronicaNovember'7,'2014'at'9:52'pm

Praying$for$you$and$your$sweet$family$as$you$seek$God’s$comfort$and$direction$through$thisdifficult$situation.