the high road | guam's guide to elevating your life | february. 2011

When my wife and I first start-ed dating over a decade ago, I was pursuing a communica-tions degree at the University of Guam. One of our suggest-

ed readings was a book called “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” By John Gray, Ph.D. The book’s premise was that men and women com-municate differently with each other. What one gender says to the opposite gender can be interpreted in a multitude of

ways.

For example, when I asked my wife to meet me at a cer-tain time, she’d arrive five to 15 minutes late. When she had a

problem and I tried to help her, she wouldn’t appreciate my advice. And when I asked for a specific decision, I would get a variety of responses except for one, leading me to generalize that women can be indecisive.

These actions an-noyed me. Upon read-ing the book by Dr. Gray, however, I be-came aware that men communicate literal-ly, saying what they mean, while women often generalize. My idea of meeting her at 7 a.m. is equivalent to her idea of anywhere between 7 a.m. and 7:15 a.m. She wouldn’t be there at seven sharp, unless I was ex-plicit about it.

I further learned that when a woman is upset, she just wants to be heard, offered companionship, and provided with validation for her feelings - not advice. And, this percep-tion of indecisiveness was not necessarily a bad thing. Actu-ally, thinking out loud, which many women often do, is their

way of weighing out a problem so they don’t rush through de-cisions.

We all know women aren’t lit-erally from Venus, although the things they do seem alien to many men. But, I’m also glad they’re so different, and that’s what attracts us to them. Even after 13 years of marriage, I still discover and appreciate new things about my wife. And, de-spite our differences in com-munication and the occasional argument - she’s still the most beautiful person to me, and she’s my best friend.

In closing, I hope you enjoy our latest issue. In it you’ll find advice on how to strength-en your relationships through a variety of approaches, like working out together or sim-ply going on regular dates. You just can’t go wrong if you truly make the effort to keep that ro-mantic spark glowing – and not just for Valentine’s Day, but ev-eryday.

Thanks for taking The High Road! See you next month!

Sincerely,

definition: the high road also high·road n. The most positive, diplomatic, or ethical course. http://www.highroadmagazine.com

PublisherNorman Analista

editor & desiGNer Carlo Cariño Writers

Maresa AguonHernalin AnalistaLeo BabautaKat BarnettDave Currie, Ph. D.Jill EspirituSean Fitzsimmons, M.D.Peter Lombard, M.D.Steve OshiroSuzanne PerezMaryAnn PangelinanDave Ramsey

PhotoGraPhy

Eugene C. Herrera adVertisiNG sales

Greg Esplana Published by

Triple J Creative Services

For adVertisiNG iNquiries coNtact:Tel: 648-6081Fax: 649-3679 [email protected]

THE HIGH ROAD Vol. 2 No. 3 is published 12 times per year (monthly) by Triple J Creative Services, 157 South Marine Corps Drive Tamuning, Guam 96913; (671) 646-9126. Copyright 2010 by Triple J Creative Services. All rights reserved. The reporting in THE HIGH ROAD is meant to increase your knowledge in various areas of life and well-being. Because everyone is different, the ideas expressed and research shared cannot be used to diagnose or treat individual health or other problems. Seek professional help. The views expressed in this publication are the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of Triple J Creative Services, its staff, management or its Board of Directors. Triple J Creative Services makes no representation concerning and does not guarantee the source, originality, accuracy, completeness or reliability of any statement, information, data, finding, interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

COUpLES CAN CONqUER COMMUNICATION BARRIERS

By Norman Analista

Men and woMen exhibit fundaMental differences in the way they coMMunicate with each other, and being cognizant of these variations can help douse the flaMe in any heated arguMent.

publisher's post | 2.11

http://www.highroadmagazine.com

4 | Rides: The 2011 Acura TSX

6 | Relationships: What is Romance?

8 | Community Pulse

10 | Ask Dave:Financial advice fromDave Ramsey

13 | Fitness:A Couples Workout

16 | Parenting: A Dad's Valentine's Duties

17 | How-To:Create a Custom Bouquet

18 | Inspiration:A Love Story

20 | Live Easy:Big Romance on a Small Budget

22 | Good Works:The American Cancer Society

24 | Social Studies:Residents Talk Love and Romance

26 | Style:Wear is the Love?

32 | Smart Money: My Broke Valentine

34 | See Clearly:Protecting Your Eyes

36 | Dining Out:Al Dente

38 | Find the Right Fragrance

39 | Ask the Bone Dr: Preventing Osteoporosis

40 | Editor’s Note:Asking for Help

FEBR

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2011 — G

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GU

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ELEVA

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LIFE | LIVIN

G | FITN

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| STY

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| STR

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www.highroadmagazine.com

VOL. 2, Issue 3

THE LOVE AND ROMANCE ISSUE

Lieutenant Colonel Nick and Captain Marleen Legaspi of the Guam Army National Guard share their love story in our February issue. The couple will be celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary this June. They reside in Mangilao. Also on the cover is the 2011 Acura TL.

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FEBRUARY 2011 TABLE OF CONTENTS

rides | 2.11

4 the high road FeBrUarY 2011

Send your questions to Dr. Dave at [email protected] or visit his website www.doingfamilyright.com for tons of great relational help. Get Dr. Dave’s daily marriage and family tips by following him on Twitter - www.twitter.com/doingfmilyright

Once we have experienced this healthy sense of loving and being loved, we long for it. We learn all we can about love. Innocent-ly, we begin to play the romance game with notes, gifts, flowers and more. We learn to turn on the charm when we want to im-press someone. We put our best foot forward on every date. We give gestures of affection and lots of attention. And...it works.

But when romance starts to feel like a game, it puts a bad taste in people’s mouths. Too

often, one’s charm is deceitful. It can be doing what you do to get what you want. That, of course, is manipulation. If romance is like bait in sport fishing, we swim away to avoid being reeled in as someone’s trophy catch. We want to be loved for who we are.

This kind of self-centered ro-

mance is both fleeting and de-feating. It is the stuff upon which flings and one-night stands are made of but not a lasting mar-riage. Forming a relationship around a passing, insincere at-traction doesn’t create lasting lov-ing bonds. So should romance be abandoned? Hold on.

It’s true that the euphoria of being “in love” with its huge doses of romance can be an in-fatuation that is short-lived. Once the ideal catch is landed, the pur-suit is often over. No more bait is

needed. Romantic actions fade and soon the romance dies. Re-lational research shows that the rush of emotional adrenaline – the romantic “in love” feeling – lasts an average of 18 months into the marriage. What then?

Do we trust the wisdom of ro-mance in marriage? Is it valid or

dangerous? I’m going to argue that romance is measured pri-marily by its motives. Healthy romance is about the other per-son first and foremost. It is giv-ing. Unhealthy romance is about me – now and forever. It is taking.

Naturally, we long to be loved in return for our romantic pursuit. But healthy romance is an un-

adulterated gesture of loving the person for who they are and not what we get in return. Real love is about volition, not coercion. Au-thentic romance reflects this.

But what about for those peo-ple who are romantically chal-lenged?

Can we still learn to do romance right? I think so. First, let’s make

WHAT IS ROMANCE?ADVICE FOR THE ROMANTICALLY CHALLENgED AMONg US

There are few things in life that compare with being “in love." Occupying the center of another person’s universe is an emotional ecstasy as addictive as any drug. It’s simply amazing to be wanted, pursued and valued. That wonderful feeling is innate to all of us.


you'll never regret | 2.11

CAN WE STILL LEARN TO DO ROMANCE RIgHT?

TO ME, ROMANCE IS THE ExpRESSION OF TENDER

EMOTIONS AND THOUgHTFUL gESTURES OF DEVOTION.

I THINk SO.

sure we are on the same page. To me, romance is the expression of tender emotions and thoughtful gestures of devotion. It is the in-tentional and intense adventure that confirms attraction and cre-ates attachment. To master this art for those who are romantical-ly challenged, we would be wise to focus on the following principles

ROMANCE IS ESSENTIAL

It keeps your love alive. Special treatment of your spouse is what drew you together. Don’t make as-sumptions. The deterioration of a relationship begins when you start taking your partner for granted. Ongoing affirmation of love cre-ates a security and a closeness that make for a good marriage. Keep pampering, talking, flirting, and engaging as friends and lov-ers.

ROMANCE IS EFFORT

Make no mistake. Romance is work but it has its rewards. It in-volves making intentional and consistent attempts to express your devotion. To romance well, you go out of your way to show kindness and even practical help. Send her away while you watch the kids. Wash his car. Write a note. You simply must go out of your way to express love.

ROMANCE IS ExCLUSIVE

The heart of romance is the unique focus on one person above all others. If you are showing affec-tion to many you are not roman-tic, you are a flirt and a cavalier. Real love is single-minded. There are no rivals. The ring on the fin-ger says so. You think about them when not with them scheming about your next romantic expres-

sion that will confirm your loyalty.

ROMANCE IS ExTRAVAgANT

The trivial can become signifi-

cant. Little details matter. Time

in travel doesn’t matter. Denying

yourself is normal. Saving extra to

lavish a big surprise is common.

Healthy romance is impractical,

over the top and yet perfect be-

cause you know your spouse so

well. You write a song or plan an

evening. You surprise them with a

getaway overnight. You lavish your

beloved even if it seems crazy to

others.

ROMANCE IS ENTICINg

It keeps your spouse coming

back to you. Romance is attrac-

tive. To feel wanted, appreciated

and exclusive is what we all crave.

The draw of attention and affec-

tion will keep your marriage strong

to last long. You’ll never regret any

efforts you make towards romanc-

ing your partner.

ROMANCE IS ENDANgERED

You may say, “I’m not romantic."

I challenge you that lack of roman-

tic intention is both careless and

dangerous neglect. Love always

takes an effort. Turn this trend on

romanceless relationships around

by first refocusing your own com-

mitment to love in details. Then,

model a crazy, engaging romantic

kind of love in front of your kids

and your friendship network.

You’ll never regret putting your

marital romance first. Psssst...by

the way, use Valentine’s Day to ro-

mance well this year. ■

If you have a positive photo of community interest, send it to [email protected] and we might include it in a future issue of The High Road.

Citi announced the launch of two new services in Guam: wealth man-agement, offering “Citigold” and cash management service, “Glob-al Transaction Services” (GTS). The launch of the two new services coin-cided with the unveiling of Citibank’s rebranded and newly renovated branch in Hagatna. At the ceremony to mark the opening are Malou Leon Guererro, Citibank Mortgage Prod-uct Manager; Dina Jacob; Marilou Lacson; Sylvia Flores; former First Lady and current GVB Deputy Gen-eral Manager, Joann Camacho.

In memory of Jesus S. Leon Guerrero and Anthony A. Leon Guerrero, the Bank of Guam contributed $10,000 to the Guam Memorial Hospital Vol-unteer Association to name a room in their honor. In the photo: Lou Lujan, GMHVA Finance Chairperson, Lina McDonald, Manager, GMHVA Gift Shop, Lulu Duenas, GMHVA President, Jackie Marati, Bank of Guam Senior Vice President/Marketing Administrator, Dorothy Borlas, GMHVA Past President, Wayne Santos, Bank of Guam Vice President/Marketing Manager. Missing from the Photo: Christine Calvo, Chair, Fundraising, Joyce Crisostomo, Vice Chair, Fundraising

Penk Ching, master cake maker and decorator dem-onstrates how to make a bunny out of fondant. Ching’s notable creations include the inaugural cake of Phil-ippine president Noynoy Aquino, and the bird’s nest cake for the Beijing Olympics. Ching was on island to promote the launch of Citibank’s new Citigold program as well as to provide culinary instruction for students.

Okkodo High School’s DECA chapter took top honors on January 27, at the 2011 Guam DECA Quiz Bowl and Leadership Conference. They were among nearly 170 students en-rolled in the GCC Secondary CTE Marketing program in Guam’s five public high schools that gathered for the conference in the GCC Multipurpose Auditorium. Students compet-ed in the marketing Quiz Bowl, and then attended various conference leadership ses-sions. DECA is an international association of marketing students that prepares emerging leaders and entrepreneurs in marketing, finance, hospitality and management in high schools and colleges around the globe.

Okkodo High School DECA chapter members, l to r, Aliandra Susuico, Rheeza-lynn Gar-cia, Kimberly Chargualaf, and Yukari Buccat rush to press their answer buttons. Present at the table earlier was Maria Raposa.

DEAR DAVE,

I don’t hide debt from my spouse, but I do hide money from her. I’ve been squirreling away money for emergencies without her knowledge. She’s not terrible with money, but she always finds something to spend it on. We were never able to save anything before I start-ed doing this. After hearing you talk about “financial infidelity,” I began to worry about her re-action when she finds out I’ve been doing this. What’s your advice? — Paul

DEAR pAUL,

I think you have every reason to worry. Not just about her re-action, but what this repre-sents in your marriage. I believe in saving up for emergencies. I mean, I’m Mr. Emergency Fund. I talk all the time about saving up three to six months of expenses. But deception is never a positive thing in a rela-tionship. You’ve got to man up and tell her.

I know this won’t be easy, and you have to make sure you tell her in the right way. Don’t try to blame this on her. Basically, you’ve deceived her about this, and your lying isn’t her fault. Let her know that you’re sorry for not being honest with her, but

you also need to explain that the reason you hid the money was you were afraid to speak up and disagree. Ask for her forgiveness, and let her know you’re committed to never let-ting it happen again.

At the same time, you’ve got to grow a backbone so you can let her know when you’ve got a problem. Managing money in a marriage is a “we” thing. Deci-sions should always be made together. It means you each

have a vote, but it also means you have to stand up and vote no if she wants to spend money on something silly when you guys haven’t taken care of busi-ness! — Dave

............................................

DEAR DAVE,

We had just started your plan and saved $1,000 for our baby emergency fund when our lap-top computer died. We do all of our finances online, including budgeting and banking. Should we dip into the emergency fund to replace the computer? — Erin

DEAR ERIN,

Yes, I think you should. Com-

puters used to be considered a luxury, but today many people find themselves in your exact situation. They use comput-ers not as toys or just to surf the web, but to help run their households and organize their lives and finances on a daily basis.

Now, upgrading at this point to the biggest, baddest, coolest thing on the planet is a no-no. That kind of thing is what we call a “want.” There’s a differ-ence between a “want” and a “need.” So, you need stay calm and go find a good basic com-puter that will take care of your online needs.

Trust me, you can get a good new laptop for about $300. That way, you can take care of your computing while only put-ting a small, temporary dent in your emergency fund! — Dave.

............................................

DEAR DAVE,

I’m 36, and I’ve been placed on permanent disability due to primary progressive multiple sclerosis. Is there a possibil-ity I could petition to have my student loans forgiven? Do you believe this is an issue of con-science? — Janelle

DEAR JANELLE,

No, I don’t think it’s an issue of conscience. If you’ve been offi-cially and medically diagnosed with this disease, and you’ve also been declared permanent-ly disabled, then federally in-sured student loans can, and should, be forgiven.

I’ll tell you ahead of time that it’s going to take a lot of work—regardless of the reason—to get a request like this through the system. You’ll be swimming in red tape for a while, but hav-ing the loans forgiven is only fair

considering your condition and situation.

God bless you, Janelle. — Dave

............................................

DEAR DAVE,

We recently saw a copy of our credit report, and one debt we had was listed as “charged off as bad debt.” What does this mean? — Sheila

DEAR SHEILA,

Simply put, it means you didn’t pay them. You had a debt you never paid, so the creditor never got their money, and they wrote you off as a deadbeat. I’m being facetious, of course, but in credit terms that’s pretty much what it means.

If you want to get that cleaned up, you’ll have to go to the cred-itor and make arrangements to settle the debt with them. Once you do that, it will read “bad debt settled.” It’s still not an ideal situation, but it’s much better than having “charged off as bad debt” stuck on your credit report.

Remember, you always settle a bad debt in writing. Never give a creditor or collections com-pany electronic access to your checking account, because lots of them will steal from you. I’ve seen plenty of cases where there was no written agree-ment, and a collector took out more than they said they would. Then, somebody’s house pay-ment bounced! — Dave ■

Dave Ramsey is a personal money management expert, popular na-tional radio personality and the au-thor of three New York Times best sellers – The Total Money Make-over, Financial Peace Revisited and More Than Enough. In them, Ramsey exemplifies his life’s work of teaching others how to be finan-cially responsible. For more infor-mation visit www.daveramsey.com.

SECRET SAVINgS AND SpOUSAL SUppORT


finances | 2.11

"I TALk ALL THE TIME ABOUT

SAVINg Up THREE TO SIx MONTHS

OF ExpENSES. BUT DECEpTION

IS NEVER A pOSITIVE THINg IN A

RELATIONSHIp. YOU’VE gOT TO

MAN Up AND TELL HER."

Presents...

Free Fun Activities For All Ages!

Join GCC students and instructors for an evening of fun, including dancing, singing, eating, and exploring the many programs GCC offers.

• Poetry Slam • The Apple Sessions (Mac, iPhone, iPad) •• GHRA Job Fair • Blood Pressure Screening •• Free Vehicle checkups • Learning Resource Center Tours •• Food Booths • Shadow Puppet Show • Dunking Booth •• Early Childhood Career Explorers: Kids explore careers! •• $5 (almost free!) Haircuts • GCC’s Got Talent Contest •• Promoting Job Shadowing • Using MathXL to Teach Math •• GCC EcoWarriors Recycling Contest •• Free movies • Video Scrapbooking •• Free Microsoft Office 2007 exams and more!

Session One (2:00–2:45 P.M.)Introducing Office 2010 • Writing Effective Performance Reviews • WorkKeys – Finding the Right Person for the Job • Capacity Building with Service Learning • Financial Planning: How to Stay GreenSession Two (3:00–3:45 P.M.)Project Management Course Preview • Keyboard Shortcuts for Windows & Microsoft • No More Death by PowerPoint • Business and GovGuam • Social Marketing for your BusinessSession Three (4:00–4:45 P.M.)MS Office Certification Prep • How to Build Green with LEED • How to Create a “Stress-Free” Workplace • Incorporate the Hafa Adai Spirit at Your Business • Workshop/Conference Energizers

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fitness | 2.11

If you view your teenager's romantic relationships as an area in which you should not be involved, recent research indicates that there's a better approach, as reported by Sue Shellenbarger of the Wall Street Journal.

According to the studies, the opposite-sex relationships that kids form in their teens have a surprising influence on their de-velopment. Even more significant

for us, young people tend to have healthier relationships when their parents are available and willing to provide guidance in this area — not that we pry or try to con-trol them, but we're there to lis-ten and offer advice when they ask for it.

Along with gently coaching our

children in this area, we are key models for our children of how a husband should treat his wife, as Carey Casey describes in his book, "Championship Father-ing." When you serve your bride, "your children will be watching .... They'll be 'catching' it in ways they may not even be aware of. They won't think, I'll have to re-member this for later. But some-

day they'll do something for their spouse and it will dawn on them: This is just what Dad used to do for Mom. Watching the way you treat their mother will create an invisible but indelible record in their hearts and minds."

Carey added: "I have a friend, a successful guy in Texas, who told

me, 'I never saw my mother and dad kiss until I saw her lean over his casket and kiss him after he had died.' What a missed oppor-tunity! But I'm thankful that my Pop wasn't afraid to show how he felt about Mom. I remember how I felt when I saw my dad hug Mom, or when he would do something special trying to win her favor. It was thrilling for me

to see that, and maybe that's why I'm so big on encourag-ing all dads to show affection and be thought-ful toward their

brides in front of their children. Give those hugs. Hold hands with her. Hold doors open. Dads today don't do these things enough. Have fun and be creative in com-ing up with ways to show her love and respect."

This is part of your role, dad. How you show love to your bride

— at Valentine's Day and all year long — sets a great example for your kids.

ACTION pOINTS

• Be intentional about spending "down time" with your teenag-er, or time working on some-thing together. Show that you care and you're available if and when he needs to talk.

• Do you object to your child's choice in a dating relationship? Instead of giving a mandate that she break it off — which would likely drive her even closer to that person — pro-vide your feedback on what you see that worries you, and trust your child to see it even-tually and make a wise deci-sion.

• This Valentine's Day, ask your children what qualities they're looking for in a future spouse.

• Tune into something small that your wife enjoys — a particu-lar type of chocolate, coffee, flower, music, etc. Set up re-minders for yourself to give her a small token or gift regularly throughout the year.

• Are you a divorced dad? It's still important for you to model respect toward your kids' mom and other women. Encourage them to honor her in a cre-ative way during the next few weeks. ■

VALENTINE'S DAY: WHAT'S A DAD'S ROLE?

By the Dads @ fathers.com


parenting | 2.11

WHAT ARE YOUR pLANS FOR THIS VALENTINE'S DAY? WHILE YOU'RE pLANNINg THAT SpECIAL gIFT, gESTURE, AND/OR DATE, IT'S ALSO gOOD TO REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE STILL A FATHER.

HOW YOU SHOW LOVE TO YOUR BRIDE — AT VALENTINE'S DAY AND ALL YEAR LONg — SETS A gREAT ExAMpLE FOR YOUR kIDS.

how-to | 2.11

SHOW YOUR CREATIVE SIDE BY pUTTINg TOgETHER A SpECIAL BOUqUET FOR YOUR LOVED ONE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY. IT’S REALLY EASY TO DO – READ ON.

• Treat Your Honey to a Personalized Valentine Bouquet• • Show your creative side by putting together a special bouquet for your loved one this Valentine’s Day. It’s really easy to do – read on.• • Things You'll Need:• • Selection of cut flowers that will be pleasing to your recipient• Foilage for color• Napkin and foil• Assorted colored paper and plastic sheets• Ribbon• Steps:• · Begin thinking about the flowers and foliage you want to feature in your bouquet. While the possibilities are endless, you may

want to stick with more popular kinds that are fitting for the occasion like roses.• • · Visit your favorite florist and check what types of flowers and greenery they have available. Make sure they’re in good condition

and are not close to wilting or have bruises.• • Arrange the flowers so that they are positioned just the way you want them. Try various lengths and mix in some color.• Secure the pieces together with tape, lay it on a moist napkin, and cover it with foil.• Cover the foil with plastic to prevent the water from dripping out and layer it with your choices of colored paper.• That’s it – quick and simple! You can even combine your bouquet with balloons, stuffed animals, chocolate or a love note to make

it even more special!• Photography: Eugene C. Herrera• Bouquet design: Jojo Sy-Quimsiam of Diana’s Florist

YOU WILL NEED:

• Selection of cut flowers that will be pleasing to your recipient

• Foilage for color

• Napkin and foil

• Assorted colored paper and plastic sheets

• Ribbon

INSTRUCTIONS:

Step 1: Begin thinking about the flowers and foliage you want to feature in your bouquet. While the possibilities are endless, you may want to stick with more popular kinds that are fitting for the oc-casion like roses.

Step 2: Visit your favorite florist and check what types of flowers and greenery they have available. Make sure they’re in good condition and are not close to wilting or have bruises.

Step 3: Arrange the flowers so that they are po-sitioned just the way you want them. Try various lengths and mix in some color.

Step 4: Secure the pieces together with tape, lay it on a moist napkin, and cover it with foil.

Step 5: Cover the foil with plastic to prevent the water from dripping out and layer it with your choices of colored paper.

That’s it — quick and simple! You can even combine your bouquet with balloons, stuffed animals, chocolate or a love note to make it even more special!

Floral arrangement by Jojo Sy-Quimsiam of Diana’s florist.

Photo Credit: Eugene C. Herrera

TREAT YOUR HONEY TO A pERSONALIzED VALENTINE BOUqUET

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1

4

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inspiration | 2.11

This time though, it was not just a short training session, but instead a deployment to Af-ghanistan that began almost five months prior. Marleen thought maybe she’d get a call from Nick — if he remembered or wasn’t too busy in the field.

“Nick — he was so sweet last year,” Marleen says. “He made an arrangement with my daugh-ter and had flowers delivered to me at work for Valentine’s Day. He called from Afghanistan, too — I really wasn’t expecting any of it,” she said.

“When I got home that day, my kids kept asking me, ‘did you get something today?’ It was such an emotional time for me. That had to be my most memorable Valen-tine’s Day,” the mother of three adds.

Although Nick routinely leaves for short periods of time as part

of his military duties, Marleen and the kids weren’t really pre-pared to be without Nick for over a year when he was called for deployment. The year went by torturously, as each holiday, birthday, and the couple’s wed-ding anniversary went by with Nick in Afghanistan and the rest of his family back home in Guam. Nick finally made it home right before Thanksgiving.

TOgETHER AgAIN

“This year he’s grounded — if he has to leave again for any rea-son, I’m going to beat him up,” Marleen jokingly says.

Nick has over 25 years of mil-itary service under his belt. The lieutenant colonel was the for-mer commander for the 94th Civil Support Team and was de-ployed last year as Team Chief for an Embedded Training Team

in Afghanistan. Currently, he is assigned as the J7, Chief of Joint Exercise Branch.

Even when Nick is on island, sometimes it’s Marleen’s turn to fulfill military service duties with temporary duty assignments. In addition to her full time job at George Washington High School as a teacher and now a counsel-or, the captain is a Medical Oper-ations Officer for the Guam Army National Guard Medical Detach-ment and has six years of mili-tary service. Interestingly, while the fulfillment of military service may have kept the couple apart several weeks out of the year, it brought them together over 20 years ago, when both were ROTC cadets.

FIRST SIgHT

“The first time I saw Marleen, she was reading a book under a

tree,” Nick recollects. “I remem-ber she had curly hair then and was a fellow ROTC cadet. It was almost instantaneous. Other ca-dets were telling me, watch out — she’s a feisty one — but that didn’t stop me.”

Feisty or not, Nick persisted. Although Marleen lived close to the University and would walk home, Nick always made it a point to ask if he could drop her home. He also would doodle pic-tures and write her letters and drop it in student mail for her. As Nick persisted more and more, Marleen resisted more and more.

“My friend even asked me, ‘why are you giving him such a hard time?’” Marleen reminisc-es.

Nick’s persistence finally paid off when Marleen said yes to at-tend Nick’s Commission Cere-

A LOVESTORY:

MARLEEN AND NICk LEgASpI SpENT LAST

VALENTINE'S DAY ApART WHILE

HE WAS DEpLOYED.

IT ONLY ADDED ANOTHER STORY

TO THEIR ALREADY ExTRAORDINARY

RELATIONSHIp.

By Jill Espiritu

Just last year, Marleen Legaspi was bracing herself for the fifth Valentine’s Day in a row that she’d spend apart from her husband, Nick, who was off-island again during one of the most romantic days of the year.

mony. From then, they started dating. December 1987 was the start of their lives together.

Although Nick got the girl he wanted, it was still an uphill bat-tle for him. Marleen’s mother was very traditional and did not want her daughter to date while she was in college. Marleen was to graduate first and then take care of her parents, as the youngest of 13 children in her family. To make matters worse, the young couple’s first test of long distance came when Nick was ordered to go to Germany not even a year into their relationship. There were many nay-sayers who believed their relationship would not work with the two of them apart.

LOVE LETTERS

“Nick wrote to me every day — if I didn’t receive a letter in the mail for a day or two, three letters would come in on the third day to catch up,” Marleen says. “These weren’t just a few lines here and there — they were seven pages long each!”

When Marleen was given the

opportunity to go to training in Germany, she jumped at the chance to be in the same coun-try as her boyfriend. She made arrangements with Nick’s friends to be picked up at the airport and brought to his place. When she arrived, Nick had been out in the field for a few weeks.

“When I got to the house, there were practically cobwebs every-where — I thought to myself, was

this placed even lived-in?” Mar-leen says. “Then I saw it — he had this altar with all of my pic-tures. There was even this life-size photo of me on the wall.”

The two eventually met up and spent some time together before Marleen had to leave. The couple continued with their relationship even when Nick was deployed to Iraq during Operation Desert Storm in 1991. There, he also

communicated with Marleen via satellite phone.

qUALITY TIME

With all the time they’ve spent apart, they’ve learned to cherish the time they have together.

“When we’re together at home, sometimes we’ll sneak in a kiss or hug each other in front of the kids and the kids will say, ‘Hello! Kids in the room!” Nick says. “We just respond, we’re your parents and we’re still in love. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

OVERCOMINg

Like any other couple, Nick and Marleen have been through hard-ship that tested their relationship. In 2002, Supertyphoon Chata’an sent floodwater that ransacked their home and destroyed near-ly everything — including Chris-tening gowns, letters Nick wrote to Marleen during their earlier years, and other family memo-rabilia. Two years later, Typhoon Tingting repeated history and left the family devastated without a

“WHEN WE’RE TOgETHER AT

HOME, SOMETIMES WE’LL SNEAk IN A kISS OR HUg EACH OTHER IN FRONT OF THE kIDS AND

THE kIDS WILL SAY, ‘HELLO! kIDS IN THE

ROOM!'”

CONTINUED ON PAGE 38

Look for little, inexpensive ways to be roman-tic, and it will pay off for your relationship in in-numerable ways.

Why inexpensive? Well, you could rent a limo and take your love to a snooty French restau-rant, or whisk him or her off to a trip to the snow-capped Alps, or rent a stadium and have the Three Tenors sing love songs for you while the New York Philharmonic plays in the back-ground. I don’t know about you, but I can’t af-ford to do that kind of stuff more than a few times a month. The rest of the time, I have to re-sort to cheaposity

Before we get into the list below, let’s look at a few notes on how to use the list:

• Weekly dates. I recommend you have a date at least once a week with your partner. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one, but at

least find some way to spend a couple hours together. If you’ve got kids, like I do, find a babysitter.

• Communicate. Romantic gestures don’t take the place of real communication. Take time to talk about your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future, your current lives, things you’re happy about, things you love about the other person, things you’d like to work on, things you’re grateful for.

• Inspiration. This list contains a lot of obvious stuff — you could probably come up with twice as many good ideas yourself. But the list doesn’t aim for originality — it aims to be an inspiration. Pick and choose some good ideas, or use it to spark some of your own. Sometimes we just need a little reminder.

• Forget Valentines. Boycott Valentine’s Day, as it makes people think they should be ro-mantic on special occasions. Instead, pick one of these ideas and do it any day of the week — no need for a special occasion.

• Write a poem.• Cook a romantic dinner.• Give a full-body massage.• Pack a sunset picnic.• Pick wildflowers on the way home.• Burn a CD with love songs.• Give dark chocolates.• Read poetry together.• Prepare strawberries with fondue

chocolate.• Snuggle together on a rainy day.• Leave little love notes everywhere.• Send a love email every day.• Take a moonlit walk on the beach.• Snuggle together while watching

romantic movies (Casablanca, Audrey Hepburn are my favs).

• Get good wine, watch shooting stars.• Bring home good coffee or a decadent

sweet.• Take a walk down memory lane — visit

some of the special places from your early days of dating.

• Make warm chocolate cake for dessert.• Make a scrapbook with photos,

mementos, and little notes from your lives together.

• Kiss in the rain.• Bring home great take-out, and light

some candles.• Fix something or fix up the house just

to make your partner happy.• Slow dance to romantic music.• Take a nap together.• Make a list of everything you love

about him or her.• Write a love letter.• Clip or email things that make you

think of him or her, every day.• Groom yourself, and try to look good

for your partner.• Take some quiet time and talk about

your day.• Feed each other grapes.• Recreate your partner’s favorite

romantic movie scene.• Pretend you’re going on a first date —

show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy.

• Create a little box with a bunch of your partner’s favorite things inside.

• Give a little token to your partner to wear, and say it’s to remind him or her all day that you love them.

• Sing a favorite song to him or her. Only do this if you can sing fairly well.

• Have dinner on the roof, with some candles. This doesn’t work if your roof slopes sharply.

• Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.

• Say I love you. In a different way, every day.

• Declare your love, very publicly.

• Enjoy fruit or berries and freshly made whipped cream.

Leo Babauta is the author

of The Power of Less and

the creator and blogger at

www.zenhabits.net, a Top

100 blog with 175,000

subscribers — one of the

top productivity and sim-

plicity blogs on the Inter-

net. It was recently named one of the Top 25

blogs by TIME magazine. Babauta is a former

journalist and freelance writer of 18 years, a hus-

band and father of six children.


live easy | 2.11

often my articles on family are about spending time with your kids, but this month we’ll talk about another important aspect of families: couples. if you’ve got a significant other, i highly recommend you keep the spark of your relationship alive and find ways to show you appreciate each other, every week and every day, if possible.

WAYS to be Romantic —On The Cheap By Leo Babauta

• 76/Circle K• Agana Shopping Center:

Casa de Essence, Gino’s, Java Junction, SM

• B&J Video, Anigua• Ben Franklin’s Craft Store• Champion Sporting Goods,

Upper Tumon• Coldstone Creamery:

Micronesia Mall, GPO• Faith Book Store• Feathers N Fins• FHP Clinic• Hava Java, Hagatna• Hertz locations• Hollywood Theaters, Guam

Premier Outlet• JB’s Ukele Hut, Hagåtña• Kim Chee, Agat• Mark’s Sporting Goods• MCV Broadband

Macheche Location• McDonald’s:

Hagatna, Tamuning• Micronesia Mall Theatres• Mobil, Participating

locations: Upper Tumon, Apra Heights, Airport, East Hagatna, Fatima, Adelup

• Opus One in Anigua• Oriental Supermarket, Agat• Outback Steakhouse• Paradise Fitness Center:

Hagåtña, Dededo• Payless Supermarkets:

Micronesia Mall & Yigo locations

• PMC Clinic• Port of Mocha, Tumon and

Micronesia Mall• PROA Restaurant• Rambies:

Micronesia Mall, Hafa Adai Exchange

• Seaside Fish Mart• Shell • SHIMBROS/Rhythm &

Brews• The Piazza, Hagatna• Town House Furniture

Store• Triple J Auto Group

Locations• Triple J Commercial Tire

Center• Tropical Living, Hagatna• Video Queen, Agat• Video Quest, Tamuning

THE gOOD FIgHTBy Jill Espiritu


good works | 2.11

THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY NEVER gIVES UpBy 2020, more than

16 million new cancer cases and 10 million deaths (from cancer) are expected. That’s what the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services Centers for Disease Control (CDC)and Prevention reports.

On the bright side, however, the depart-ment also states that cancer is “potentially one of the most preventable and curable life-threatening diseases … (and) more than 25 million people are surviving for years after the cancer diagnosis.” The most common can-cers worldwide are lung, breast, large intes-

tine (colon and rectum), stom-ach and pros-tate, with lung cancer as the type that causes the most deaths.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) pro-vides educational opportunities for the com-munity to learn how to prevent the disease or detect it at its earliest stage. It also provides support resources for diagnosed patients and their families. The ACS also advocates initia-tives that ultimately help reduce cancer num-bers (i.e., tobacco tax increase) and supports national research initiatives. The Guam office is located on 479 West O’Brien Drive, in the Bank of Guam - Santa Cruz building, on the first floor, suite 102.

“The American Cancer Society works in communities across the country to elimi-nate cancer as a major health problem,” says Marisha Artero, ACS Community Manager – Health Initiatives. “We strive to save lives,

help people when they need us the most and empow-er people to fight back against the disease.”

“You’ll hear about cancer or you might know people with can-cer, but you will never know the depth of cancer

until you’re told you have cancer,” says Annie Rosenberger, who was diagnosed with breast cancer on July 15, 1994. “When I first heard the words, it felt like the whole roof was caving in on me. I even told the doctor to please leave me by myself for a few minutes. I just prayed and cried many tears,” said the 73-year-old Yigo resident.

“It was just like a hammer hit me, it’s a very hard thing to hear. Right after, I still had to

go to work at Andersen Air Force Base that morning, and I remember I cried all the way to work,” she added.

It was even more difficult to inform her family of the di-agnosis. Upon hearing the news her hus-band then, the late George Rosenberg-er, immediately told her he was taking her off island for treat-

ment and care.

“When I was first diagnosed, I kept hoping it wasn’t happening to me, that it wasn’t real-ly real – almost like a terrible dream that you want to wake up from,” Rosenberger says. “I was kind of numb after hearing the news, and I never felt that way before. The reality really set in just before my surgery.”

About two weeks after her diagnosis, Rosen-berger went to Hawaii for a mastectomy and was in remission for a few years. In 2000, she had a gut feeling that something was wrong with her body and after a check up, it was revealed that her cancer metastasized to her liver. She underwent a new regimen that in-cluded weekly doses of intravenous Her-ceptin.

Although the Herceptin seemed to work, late last year, she was advised to go under a new chemotherapy regimen, this time with Taxotere.

In a collaborative study in 2009 by the Guam Cancer Registry under the University of Guam, the Department of Health and Social

HELP IS OUT THERE. www.cancER.ORg [

MARISHA ARTERO [

Services and the Guam Compre-hensive Cancer Control Coali-tion, researchers found that over 1,500 Guam res-idents have been diagnosed with cancer. And, death statistics show that on av-erage, about every two to three days, one local resident will die from the disease. Cancer is the second leading cause of death in Guam, the study states. Inciden-tally, in a release by DPHSS, heart disease ranks as

the top cause of death in Guam.

Common risk factors for cancer in developed nations in large part in-clude poor diet and nutrition and the use of tobacco, and in smaller part to infections, pollution and occupational exposures, the U.S. CDC Web site states. More than one third of cases develop from causes other than the aforementioned risk factors.

For the most fatal of cancers, lung cancer, cigarette smoking is touted as the main culprit for the development of lung cancer among Guam residents. Cigar and pipe smoking also contributed greatly, as well as exposure to second-hand smoke.

Prior to Rosenberger’s diagnosis, her link to the ACS was assisting in the coordination of military teams for past Carole Kai bed races, which at the time listed the ACS as a beneficiary. After Rosenberger’s diag-nosis and subsequent mastectomy, she participated in a few programs including “Reach to Recovery” and also availed of wigs and head cov-erings, which she used after losing her hair following her chemothera-py regimens.

“I am thankful that I’ve lived as long I have and that I’ve enjoyed my life with my family,” Rosenberger says. “There are a lot of ups I keep telling myself – not everyone diagnosed with cancer has lived as long as I have. Whatever purpose God has, I just hope I am not failing Him.”

“IT WAS JUST LIkE A HAMMER HIT ME, IT’S A VERY HARD THINg TO HEAR." — ANNIE ROSENBERgER, CANCER SURVIVOR

ANNIE ROSENBERGER [


social studies | 2.11

Q: How do you preserve the spark of romance in your relationships?HUTApEA: Our household of five children ages 1 to 10 is a busy one, to say the least. We’ve ‘low-ered’ our expectations as far as ro-mantic getaways are concerned. We would wake up early in the morn-ing when the kids are all asleep and have our together time, and really communicate. My good friend has a neat way to keep the spark, she and her husband set aside Monday lunch time as their together time. We try to do this too, but between kids’ ap-pointments, it’s a hit and miss. We enjoy it while we can, and we’re not too disappointed when we can’t. Also, we pray together as it makes us realize we don’t have to fix the world’s problems ourselves. Lastly, play Kinect together, my daughter Faith said the boxing games will work out any anger issues!

pAULINO: There are many rea-sons through the years why my wife

and I have kept our romantic flame going. Mainly, it has been the little things we do for each other. The un-expected surprises really go a long way in making for a lasting memory. You may plan some grand event or just a simple lunch, phone call or card when she least expects it.

CALMA: We have our date nights out, like going to small res-taurants. At times we have to really leave our girls at the grandparents’ house so that we have our time to-gether. Those are probably the mo-ments I look forward to. Just hang-ing out at a store, window shopping, going somewhere nice to eat and talking about future plans is the best time I spend with my wife and she enjoys that. We keep it simple.

CAMACHO: Honestly, it's al-ways difficult to find quality time with my wife Rosemarie while both

working and taking care of our three kids. We make time for each other and for ourselves. Going to lunch to-gether and having date nights, with-out the kids, it's something we make time for, to remind ourselves we're not just parents, we're also a couple.

pALMER: Spending time tog-ether, doing things you love to do. The good times spent together get you through any difficult issue you face. It takes effort from both people to be nice and be a friend to each other. Sometimes this means doing what the other person is interested in, even if it isn’t your favorite thing. Date each other at least once a month, more if you can find the time. Flirt with your spouse. Try to remember when you were first dating and bring that feeling back to your heart.

pERSpECTIVES ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIpS

OUR PANELA: Ray CalmaFifth Grade Teacher, Maria Ulloa Elementary/

Owner, Ray Calma Photography

Married to Loida for 17 years

B: Victor CamachoExecutive Director

Make A Wish Foundation

Married to Rosemarie for 12 years

C: Siska S. Hutapea, MAI, MREManaging Partner

Captain, Hutapea & Associates

Married to Edward for 12 years

D: Deanna PalmerRealtor RE/MAX Diamond Realty Married to Marvin for 25 years

E: Robert PaulinoDirector of Marketing & Business Development

Personal Finance Center

Married to Eiscelle for 12 years

EVERY MONTH, we invite everyday islanders to have a conversation about the topic of the day. Here’s what they said.

Q: Sometimes the best gifts are the kinds that money can’t buy. How do you put that into practice?HUTApEA: My husband is willing to wake up in the middle of the night when the youngest ones are awake and cater to them. He knows I’m not the type that can go back to sleep immediately. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot to me. I would cook the comforting Indonesian meals for him, and he really appreciates this. He would also send me emails on his daily devotionals.

pAULINO: My wife and I juggle

our family, careers and community involvement among other things. So, trying to find time for ourselves is always a challenge. The best gift we give to each other is our time. Some of the best moments together are just talking and catching up with one another reaffirming our love and sup-port. My wife says little stolen mo-ments like an unexpected hug really go a long way as well.

CALMA: Gifts that money can’t buy are my communication and my

focus on my wife and what’s go-ing on in our lives together. Being a schoolteacher, wedding photogra-pher, and outdoor enthusiast, I'm away from my wife for quite a while. So, I think that my time by her side, making her laugh, and just putting my focus on us during those mo-ments is what she really cherishes the most.

pALMER: Listen to a story for the tenth time. Help get that old project done together with a smile and give

a back rub.

CAMACHO: I don't know if you call it a gift, but I love to cook and I truly enjoy my wife coming home to a home cooked meal after a long day at work. Also we enjoy spend-ing time together driving around the island, going to the beach, or just hanging out with the kids in our lawn watching the sunset. Those moments are little everyday gifts we sometimes take for granted.

Q: Which love songs mean the most to you?HUTApEA: “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion. I was away in Sydney and my husband (then my boyfriend) was in Jakarta. It’s a great love song! The other two would be Maroon5’s “This Love," and Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’."

pAULINO: My top three songs are Robert Palmer’s “She makes my day," Steven Curtis Chapman’s “I will be there” and Allison Kraus’ “When you say nothing at all.” These songs expressed exactly how I felt and still do about my wife Eiscelle. It documents the journey of our relationship through the years. “I will be there” was a song my wife sang at our wed-ding ceremony that expressed her commitment to marriage.

CALMA: “I'll be there” by Edwin McCain. The song truly expresses that no matter what, we will be by each other’s side. I love the song

“And I love you so.” We have been side by side in everything, busi-ness, late night exams, off-island trips, the birth of our three beauti-ful daughters. Those simple words

of "And I love you so" holds the greatest meaning and purpose. Fi-nally, "You are the One” by Chris Cuevas is a song that I always played in my car when I was at-

tending the University of Guam while my wife and I were dating. We played it everywhere we went. When we got married we made this one of our wedding songs.

CAMACHO: “For the Love of You” by the Isley Brothers is a clas-sic R&B song which nobody really knows all the lyrics and no one can really sing well, but we all try! It was playing at our wedding. “I Will” by The Beatles, the best band ever. It’s a great song in its simplic-ity and meaning. And finally, “Ev-ery Little Thing She Does is Magic” by the Police. It’s not really a love song, but lyrically it has love song written all over it.

pALMER: All of them! Any song that allows us to slow dance, be held, and feel our hearts together.

“I WILL” BY THE BEATLES, THE BEST BAND

EVER. IT’S A gREAT SONg IN ITS SIMpLICITY AND MEANINg.

— VICTOR CAMACHO

SEN. MANA SILVA TAIJERON

By Hernalin Analista

LET LOVE BE THE SOURCE OF YOUR FASHION INSpIRATION THIS MONTH.

LADIES, MAkE IT A pOINT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SHApE IN ORDER TO BETTER AppRECIATE THE WAY YOU LOOk IN YOUR CLOTHES. AND SINCE LOVE IS IN THE AIR, DON’T FORgET TO SpRUCE Up YOUR WARDROBE WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF pINkS AND REDS.

IDENTIFY YOUR SHApE 1 Finding a dress that best flatters you depends on how well you know your shape and how much you understand what styles will help to improve your look. Although there are various body shapes, the most common are: the hourglass, rectangle, triangle and inverted triangle.

Model is wearing a strapless red and black dress by Speechless.

BECkY VILLAgOMEz

style 2.11

0 THE FIT IS IT Opt for well-tailored pieces. Avoid clothing that appears too bulky, too large, or too small.

Model is wearing black jacket by English Laundry, white shirt by Van Heusen, black and gray tie by Alfani, and khaki pants by Ralph Lauren.

TOp CHOICE [

If your shape resembles an inverted triangle, then your lower body tends to be fuller and/or wider than your upper half. Wearing a dress with a full skirt for example, works best for your figure, as the style will add to the lower body and give the illusion of fuller hips.

Model is wearing a gray faux fur vest by Material Girl, pink and grey dress by Tweeze Me, and chandelier earrings by Style & Co.

BECkY VILLAgOMEz

Men, if you’re aiming to dress to impress, first think about how you’re going to spend Valentine’s with your other half. You’ll want to match your honey’s level of dressiness, the venue(s) you’ll be going to, and the type of activities you’ll engage in.

SUIT Up, MEN! 1

This grey suit and necktie with pink accents will be the perfect match if your loved one decides a fancy dinner is in order.

Model is wearing a gray pinstripe blazer and pants by Tommy Hilfiger, white Van Heusen shirt, and an Alfani multi striped tie.

28 the high road | JanUarY 2011

MATTHEW REEL

[ qUALITY MATTERS Choose your materials wisely. Look for high quality fabrics. Fine clothing materials not only give the impression of wealth, they also promote the longevity of your clothes.

TOP RIGHT: Model is wearing a printed black, brown, and beige shirt by Alfani, black trouser pants by Sequin Hearts, tweed sleeveless vest in black and gray by Michael Kors, and clipped earrings by Charter Club.

TOP LEFT: Model is wearing a green sweater by Ralph Lauren, plaid shirt by Ralph Lauren, and blue pants by Ralph Lauren.

RIGHT: Model is wearing a yellow shirt by Ralph Lauren and khaki shorts by Ralph Lauren.

MATTHEW REEL

THE CASE FOR COMFORT ] Does your date prefer a casual dinner coupled with a movie? Then jeans and a sweater are perfectly acceptable.

Model is wearing Levi’s Silver Tab blue jeans and an Alfani red knit sweater.

CURVE CONTROL1

When your shape is more like a rectangle, too many styles will leave you looking boxy. To achieve a shapelier figure, try wearing shirtwaist dresses or a fitted dress with little or no waistline. These styles will help you appear curvier.

Model is wearing a pink ruffled spaghetti strap dress by City Studio and fuschia bracelets by Fossil.

CASUAL FUN1

Planning to go dancing after a quiet meal? A dressy long-sleeve shirt and slacks won’t constrict your movement on the dance floor. And, it still looks like you made an effort to please your date.

Model is wearing a pink and white striped shirt by Izod and Ralph Lauren khaki pants.


CREDITS

• Men’s and Women’s Clothing & Accessories: Macy’s

• Models: Becky Villagomez, Mathew Reel

• Venue: Hyatt Regency Guam• Photography by: Eugene C. Herrera• Stylist: Hernalin Analista• Make-up: Hairdresser by

Kimberly, Sapphire Estrallado

By Michael San Nicolas


smart money | 2.11

What always gets me is that I do this on her birthday, Mother’s Day, our anniversary, and Christmas, so by the time Valentine’s Day comes around again I am fresh out of ideas and a little lean on the wallet. All of us know that there is no way around it, we just have to get creative.

The hardest part about running out of ideas on how to show people how spe-cial they are is that we oftentimes default to spending more. After all, who wouldn’t love the expensive handbag or the glittery gems and shiny gold jewelry? Luckily I have found out after five years of marriage that expensive things, while appreciated and welcomed, don’t need to be a consistent way to express how important someone is to you. Here are some ways that I have come up with to make valentines affordable and special.

TAkE STOCk

First, take a step back and actually think about what your other half would really ap-preciate. For me, I know that it is more of my time, and the extra effort to make the day warm and intimate. What I am plan-ning is a nice home-cooked meal by yours truly of my wife’s favorite "Mike meatloaf," with candlelight and a pretty rose, while our two children are babysat by Grandpa and Grandma (we’ll celebrate V-day early to make this work for everyone). I plan a lot of hand holding and “footsie," eye gazing and open expressions of love and appreciation. To polish off the night I’ll give in and watch a “girlie” movie with her on the couch, and breakout a bottle of coconut oil for a long-overdue foot massage. The key is not to do anything different (I do these things for my wife every now and then), the key is to do all of it on that day, and make the effort to

show your other half how much they matter.

BE SENTIMENTAL

Another great Valentine’s gift would be to think back to what you did years ago when you were both broke but able to make the most of the moment. I remember buying a couple of roses, a balloon, and a pretty can-dle and setting it all up on my wife’s desk before she got into her class at UOG. If she wasn’t on maternity leave, I’d probably con-spire with her co-workers to set it all up for me before she got into the office in the morning. Here’s a secret: ladies always love to have their man express his mushy head-over-heels love out in the open, especially on Valentine’s Day.

My wife once made up a bunch of cou-pons for me, with a whole lot of different things that she knew I liked. Whenever I wanted something, all I had to do was whip out my coupon and she was stuck! Funny thing is, they turned into cute bargaining chips that I could wave around and trade for something else. Nothing is more fun for me than watching my wife try to “sell” me

something or to negotiate why she “needs” what she does. This special gift turned into something that made Valentine’s Day ex-tend throughout the year.

In a nutshell, Valentine’s is all about mak-ing the one you love feel special, and feel-ings are more impacted by what we do and how we do it rather than how much we spend. This Valentine’s join me and be a broke valentine, and find out just how much more appreciated it is by that special someone, and the bank account you both share! ■

Michael San Nicolas is a Wealth Manager

with BG Wealth Man-agement Services in the Bank of Guam, and serves as a Finan-cial Advisor with an ed-ucational certificate in Financial Planning. A proud husband and father, Michael is the author of "A Father's

Hand: Lessons for Life from Father to Son.”

I really start to get nervous When February comes arounD. thIs Is the tIme that I have to make sure that I go the extra mIle to make my lovely WIFe Feel specIal.

it’s that easy

Along with the New Year's resolutions you read about in the Jan-uary edition of The High Road, com-mit to achieving good "eye health" as well!

pROTECT YOUR EYES FROM THE SUN

Wear ultraviolet-blocking sun-glasses when outdoors and es-pecially when on the water. The sun is always shining bright-ly in Guam! The conjunctiva, or thin layer of tissue covering the whites of the eyes, is susceptible to sunburn. Do not stare direct-ly at the sun or at the sun's re-flection, as this can damage the rod and cone photoreceptors in the retina. Permanent vision loss may result!

pRACTICE EYE DISEASE pREVENTION AND gET REgULAR EYE ExAMS

Most diseases that cause blindness, like glaucoma and di-abetes, can be treated, or their progression slowed down with the proper diagnosis and man-agement. While there is no cure for some eye conditions, there have been major medical ad-vances for age-related macular degeneration, glaucoma, and cataracts. By visiting your eye doctor on a regular basis, you can catch eye problems in their early stages when they are eas-ier to treat.

For most people a "regular" eye exam means every 12-24 months. If you wear glasses or contacts and are happy with your vision, it’s probably all right to wait a couple years between visits.

For diabetics, an annual exam is an absolute must! High blood sugar levels eventually damage the blood vessels of the retina, leading to leaking vessels, ab-normal vessel growth, and po-tential vision loss.

pRACTICE gOOD EYELID HYgIENE

It is actually quite common for the eyelid margins to become in-flamed and irritated.

This condition is called bleph-aritis, and it is largely unrec-ognized as the symptoms are generally mild and tolerable.

Dry eyes are one of the symp-toms of blepharitis. The eyelid margins may also become red and itchy, and you may feel like your tears are thick and sticky.

To help with symptoms of blepharitis and dry eyes, I advo-cate a 3-step eyelid hygiene pro-cess, which includes (1) warm compresses applied to the eye-lids, (2) a gentle eyelid mas-sage with your fingertips, and (3) cleaning the eyelid margins and eyelashes with baby sham-poo and a Q-tip or washcloth. This process helps to loosen the blocked meibomian glands re-store a healthier tear film.

pREVENT AND TREAT DRY EYES

Do you spend hours at a time in front of the computer?

Are you an avid book-reader or

TV addict? These activities de-mand visual attention, and as such, we tend to blink less as we are focusing on the visual stimuli at hand. This promotes the evaporation of our tear film, leading to dry eyes. Cornea dry-ness is irritating — it can feel like there is sand or grittiness in the eyes. Compounding the dry eye problem is the fact that as we age, our tear production nat-urally decreases, and blepharitis becomes more problematic.

Make a mental note of when you have dry eye symptoms, and if they are worse during certain task-specific activities. Be conscious of blinking ade-quately, and if necessary take short breaks to replenish your tear film. Try using artificial tears before and during these ac-tivities… I like to recommend Genteal or Refresh eye drops. Generally I do not recommend Visine as an artificial tear, as this is primarily a vasoconstric-tor and does not treat the under-lying dryness.

pRACTICE gOOD CONTACT LENS HYgIENE

If you wear contacts, take them out every night! Despite the "ex-tended-wear" labeling of some types of contact lenses, most ophthalmologists will recom-mend taking out your contacts every night for cleaning. Hav-ing a contact lens on the eye

decreases the oxygen delivery to the cornea. It also sets your eye up for infection. The worse cases of corneal ulcers I have seen were the direct result of improper contact lens hygiene. Also remember to NEVER, EVER store your contacts in tap water! A particularly nasty organism called acanthamoeba can de-posit on your lenses from the tapwater, and cause a horrible cornea infection.

WEAR EYE pROTECTION

Staying active and fit does not come without risks! Racket sports like racketball, and team sports like basketball are the perfect set up for traumatic eye injuries. Do the right thing and wear the appropriate eye protec-tion for your activity. Ensure your children are doing the same.

For those with poor vision in one or both eyes, you should be wearing glasses ALL the time, and the lenses should be made of polycarbonate material that is shatterproof.

DON’T IgNORE OMINOUS EYE SYMpTOMS

Flashing lights, floaters, dark spots in the vision, vision loss, sudden blurry vision, eye pain and redness, and double vision are all symptoms that should prompt an urgent visit to your eye health professional. ■

7 WAYS TO kEEp YOUR EYES HEALTHY IN 2011

By Peter Lombard, M.D.

Peter Lombard, M.D. comes from a family with strong medical ties to Guam. He is a Lieutenant Commander in the

US Navy and was recently assigned to Naval Hospital Guam as the only military ophthalmolo-gist on the island. He attended the US Naval Academy for

undergraduate training, and completed medical school at Johns Hopkins Univer-sity. The statements expressed here are his own and do not necessarily represent the views of the US Navy or US Govern-ment.

WEAR UV BLOCkINg SUNgLASSES WHEN OUTDOORS AND ESpECIALLY WHEN ON THE WATER.


see clearly | 2.11

If you love the taste of authen-tic Italian pizzas and pastas, then you’ll love the Al Dente Ristorante located in the Hyatt Regency Guam.

The restaurant boasts scenic views of Tumon Bay and provides a romantic setting for those wanting a nice, cozy dinner or lunch. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the Al Dente Ristorante will serve as the perfect romantic venue for you and your loved one. Chef de Cuisine Jo Ong said there are plans in the works for Valentine’s Day. “I will be serving up a special romantic six-course set menu,” she said. Be sure to look out for her special menu on what is coined as the most romantic day of the year.

The Al Dente Ristorante has served thou-sands of locals and visitors since its opening in 1993. The restaurant was one of the first to open in the Hyatt Regency Guam when the five star hotel also opened its doors eighteen years ago. When customers walk into the Al Dente for the first time, they’ll instantly be drawn to the dark wooden floors, furniture, and fresh white linen.

“The design of the restaurant is contem-porary with an open kitchen, meaning the guests can watch their food being prepared by the chefs. The interior colors used inside the restaurant are earth-tone with wood and leather accents to convey a warm and friend-ly ambience,” said Ong.

The Al Dente Ristorante has much more to offer than traditional pastas and pizzas. Ong said the lunch buffet features a good selec-tion of antipasto and even has a wide selec-tion of food tailored for vegetarian diets. “I can say that we have the best Italian antipas-to buffet on the island…as for dinnertime, people can expect good food, friendly service and an upscale dining experience,” she said. Every week, Ong comes up with a Chef’s spe-cial for lunch and dinner. She said some of the more popular menu items are the pizzas

dining out | 2.11

A

B

D

E

F

C


By Suzanne Perez

baked in a beech oven, the grilled lamb, Certified Angus Beef tenderloin fillet, veal saltimbocca, lobster and various pasta dishes.

The highly recommended appetizers are the Caesar salad, seafood platter and antipasto misto. Despite the vast array of menu choices, Ong has her favorites.

“My personal favorite item on the menu is the Chilean sea bass. It’s good for those who are health conscious,” she said.

The dish is served with vegetables - no starch. Another personal favor-ite of Ong’s is the lamb which she described as, “tender and juicy.” Al-though there are other Italian restaurants on island, Ong said what sets the Al Dente Ristorante apart from the others is their extensive wine list. This is perfect for those who enjoy a nice glass of wine with their dinner.

Ong said the restaurant can accommodate up to 108 guests for din-ner and up to 98 for lunch. The buffet lunch costs $22 and for dinner, the average check ranges from $40 to $60. The hours of operation are Lunch: Monday-Friday 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. and Dinner: Daily 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Call for a reservation today.

g I

H

IMAgES OF TASTE

A: Smoked Salmon. B: Chef de Cuisine Jo Ong. C: Pepper Crusted Ahi Tuna. D: Oysters. E: Grilled Beef Antipasto. F: Tomato, Mozzarella and Basil in Extra Virgin Olive Oil. G: A Portion of the buffet at Al Dente. H: Green Asparagus with Shaved Parmesan. I: Marinated Prawns


inspiration | 2.11

Perfume and cologne are pop-ular gift choices for Valentine’s Day, but purchasing them can be an intimidating task for some.

Fragrances safeguard against odors and they can also become your special signature scent. If you want to be mysterious, choose a scent that has more of a musky smell. If you want to be cheerful, choose a light, floral or citrus-scented perfume. These are just guidelines and not strict rules.

HERE ARE OTHER TIpS YOU MAY FIND USEFUL:

• Perfume or cologne may smell wonderful when sprayed into the air, but once it’s sprayed onto your skin, it may not react well with your body chemistry. Use a tester to spray it on and keep tabs on how it smells a few hours later.

• If you plan to give it as a gift - and it won’t be a surprise, take your other half shopping with you, so you can make the choice together.

• Evaluate each perfume for scent and allergic reaction. If

you get an allergic reaction, it won’t matter if it smells good.

• Be subtle about applying per-fume or cologne. Try not to exceed two sprays per appli-cation.

• If you have a regular cologne bottle, avoid splashing it on. Apply one finger over the bottle opening, tip it over and evenly apply it to your favorite applica-

tion points.

• Application points are behind your ears, the glandular points on your neck, your inner wrists or behind your knees. Some people prefer to mist the air in front of them, and walk into the fragrance.

• Refresh no more than once in the day or night for light scents that don’t have much staying power.

• Once you purchase your fra-grance, make sure to keep it away from heat. Storing it in your car is a definite no-no.

Not sure what your honey will like? Kathy Walker, Store Manag-er for the Fragrance Outlet at the Guam Premier Outlets, offered these suggestions. They’re all top sellers.

FOR HIM gIVENCHY pLAY:

Amyris wood, patchouli, berga-mot and citrus.

BVLgARI MAN:

Lotus, bergamot and violet leaf; middle notes are vetyver, woodsy

notes and sandalwood; base notes are cashmere wood, ben-zoin, white honey.

VERSACE MAN EAU FRAICHE:

Lemon, rosewood, carambo-la, cedar leaves, tarragon, sage, musk, amber, sycamore wood

FOR HER ED HARDY, HEARTS & DAggERS:

Blood orange and juicy Gala apple meet violet leaf while en-ergetic waves of mango, apple blossoms, and pink jasmine join.

BEYONCé HEAT:

Radiant floral bouquet of mag-nolia, neroli and red vanilla or-chid balanced with a kiss of luscious blush peach.

ED HARDY BORN WILD:

Dewberry and cassis buds blend with the power of magno-lia and peach blossoms to create a whirlwind of intoxicating aro-mas. ■

THE OF LOVE FRAgRANCE IMpAIRED? DON'T WORRY

home again.

“Losing a house twice real-ly humbles a man,” Nick says. “I’ve seen other folks’ marriages go south because of hardship. We had some really hard times with the house, but we found that if we just talk things through we can work it out.”

“It usually goes to us reflecting back to when we began our lives

together — the feelings we felt then,” Marleen says. “I be-lieve that as long as we have a strong foundation, we can put anything on it and build."

“I’m just so grateful to have him,” Marleen adds, choking back some tears.

As much as possible, Nick and Marleen will sit down with their children and plan any

family outings together. The cou-ple will also schedule in some needed alone time. Now that Nick is back from deployment, he has rolled out the calendar and made it a point to map out the important occasions for which he must try to remain in Guam with his family.

One of the first few occasions? Valentine’s Day!

continued from page 19

“I BELIEVE THAT AS LONg AS WE HAVE A STRONg FOUNDATION, WE CAN pUT ANYTHINg ON IT AND BUILD."

ask the bone doctor | 2.11

DEAR DR. FITzSIMMONS,

I’m approaching my 40s and have started thinking lately about how my bones will be when I become a senior citizen. Is there any-thing I can do now to prevent Osteoporosis? Are there any warning signs?

– Cynthia

HI CYNTHIA,

This is a great question. Osteoporosis is a very broad topic, but I will try to highlight the most important points. The national osteo-porosis foundation (NOF) recommends test-ing a patient’s bones using a bone density test in all women greater than 65 years old and men greater than 70 years old. Adults older than 50 who have had a fracture should also be tested. Women and men 50-69 years old should also be tested if they have multiple risk factors for osteoporosis (this is determined by your primary care doctor). There are other special medical conditions that can cause os-

teoporosis in patients less than 50, but these are not common. Incidentally, Medicare will cover most bone density testing in people greater than 65.

The NOF has also made guidelines for os-teoporosis prevention. All individuals should consume at least 1,200 mg of calcium per day by diet or vitamin. The NOF also recom-mends a daily intake of 800-1000 IU of vita-min D per day whether by diet or by vitamin. Regular daily exercise is also recommended. This can decrease the risk of fall, strength-en bones, and improve posture and balance. Walking 30 minutes per day in patients great-er than 60 has been shown to decrease the risk of hip fracture. Patients should see their primary care doctor before starting an exer-cise program.

Prevention of falls in the elderly will also de-crease hip fractures and checking home safe-

ty and using canes or walkers when needed is advised. The NOF also strongly advises pa-tients to avoid smoking tobacco as this is det-rimental to bones. Moderate alcohol intake is fine, but three or more drinks per day can weaken bones so avoid excessive use of al-cohol.

Thank you for your question,

Dr. Sean Fitzsimmons ■

Sean Fitzsimmons, M.D. has completed an orthopae-

dic surgery residency at Mount Sinai Hospital and an orthopaedic sports medicine fellowship at Lenox Hill Hospital, both in New York City. During his fellowship he worked with the New York Jets, New York Island-ers, and Division I and II college soccer and basketball teams. He has training in the latest arthroscopic treat-ments for shoulder problems and knee ligament recon-structions. His office is in the Guam Medical Plaza in Tamuning.

If you have any questions for Dr. Sean Fitzsimmons, you can send them to [email protected].

HOW I CAN FI gHT OSTEOpOROSIS WHILE I'M STILL YOUNg?

Success is hard to accomplish by yourself. Failure, on the other hand, is usually a one-person activity.

In last month's column, I wrote about going public with my ef-forts to lose 100 pounds. It was an admission of how much I've struggled with losing weight and a declaration that I was going to stop hiding it.

What I didn't realize was this — the article was an open call for help to anyone who was will-ing.

Incredibly, ‘anyone,’ turned out to be nearly everyone I know — and even people I've just en-countered on Facebook or my blog. Their simple encourage-ment has proven to be more help than I could have imagined.

It begged a few questions, however. Why hadn't I done it before? Why do so many people choose to suffer on their own in-stead of turning to others? Why don't we ask for help when we need it the most?

Pride, shame, or previous trau-ma could be a cause. It could be a product of conditioning as well.

WHAT IS IT?

Asking for help isn't an ad-mission of weakness. It's an act of trust. It's a show of respect. Even the smallest bit of it can change a life. Don’t take it lightly — it’s powerful stuff.

WHY DO IT?

Somebody had to show you how to change a tire. Whoever it was, that lesson probably saved you from getting stuck many times over since then.

Without them, you’d be stand-ing by the side of the road, help-less and scared in the face of

oncoming traffic.Eventually, in all areas of life,

we all find ourselves stuck in other ways.

We can feel mentally broken down and helpless in the face of oncoming disaster. Whether you have problems with addic-tion, stress, health, money, re-

lationships, work, parenting, or other kind of struggle — the ef-fect is the same. You feel lost, alone, and immobile.

That feeling, as strong as it may be, though, is a lie.

Help is out there and it can get you going again. If you want it, all you have to do is ask.

HOW DO I ASk?

Contrary to some opinions, people who ask for help aren’t mere whiners. They aren’t just looking for charity.

They don’t do it to seek at-tention. If you need help, you shouldn’t think of yourself that way either. Whatever your rea-sons are for doing it alone, you need to give yourself permission to seek help.

If you are honest about your struggles and your desire to move forward, then you’ll more easily find the help you need. People are often more gracious and understanding than we give them credit for.

WHAT HAppENS NExT?

An instant solution is some-times the result. Most of the time, though, help takes the shape of a good listener and a shared experience. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s

the first step toward overcoming hardship.

You may have to look beyond friends and family. Don't over-look professional assistance like doctors, lawyers, clergy, and therapists.

If the first person you ask won't listen, don't give up. There are plenty of people in this world, you'll find support somewhere.

Speaking of which ...

SOMEBODY ASkED ME FOR HELp! WHAT DO I DO?

Congratulations! Someone is coming to you with hope and trust.

Don’t sigh. Don’t be annoyed. Don’t think about your own problems. Your only obligation here is to listen without judge-ment. What ever help you can offer is much more than they had before they came to you.

You say you can’t help? Non-sense. Help can take any of the following forms and a thousand more: encouragement, advice, referrals, comfort, sharing a story, a hug, a direction, prayer, understanding, and a willing ear.

ISN’T IT TOO gOOD TO BE TRUE?

Maybe. But you'll never know unless you ask. ■

Carlo Cariño is the Editor of The High Road. He is a writer, illustra-tor, cartoonist, and graphic de-signer. He lives in Yigo with his wife, Juvy. You can follow his 100-Pound Challenge at www.itsjust-carlo.com.

HELp! I NEED SOMEBODY!AMAzINg THINgS CAN HAppEN WHEN YOU REALIzE YOU'RE LESS ALONE THAN YOU THINk.

By Carlo Cariño


editor's note | 2.11

ASkINg FOR HELp ISN'T AN ADMISSION

OF WEAkNESS. IT'S AN ACT OF TRUST. IT'S A SHOW OF RESpECT.

http://www.itsjustcarlo.com

http://www.itsjustcarlo.com

the high road | guam's guide to elevating your life | february. 2011

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