Workshop Agenda Time

Introduction: Why Formal Dining Etiquette is Relevant 15 mins

Module 1: Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses 2 hrs 5 mins

Module 2: Formal Dining Etiquette on Dining Behavior and Conversation 2 hrs 25 mins

Final Practice: Applying Formal Dining Etiquette at a Mock Meal 45 mins

Wrap Up and Next Steps 20 mins

Have you ever attended a formal dining event and thought:

• Which water glass do I drink from?

• Which of the forks at my place setting should I use to eat my salad?

• Why are there so many utensils and glasses at my place setting?

• Do I eat the bread with a fork and knife or use my fingers?

• What should I say to my tablemates during the meal?

• Am I dining appropriately in this formal setting?

• If I drop my fork or spill my drink, what should I do?

The Need for Formal Dining Etiquette

Introduction to Formal Dining Etiquette

When you complete this workshop, you will be able to:

• Identify utensils, glassware and tableware at a formal place setting.

• Explain the purpose of each utensil, including what it should be used to eat and when it should be used during a multi-coursed formal dinner.

• Set a formal place setting given the courses that will be served.

• State how to eat various courses according to formal dining etiquette.

• Define behaviors to avoid during a formal dining event.

• Describe appropriate formal dining etiquette throughout a formal meal.

• List suitable topics of conversation for various formal dining events.

• Demonstrate formal dining etiquette during a mock meal.

Video: Humor at a Formal Dining Event

Show uTube video clip from “Pretty Woman”: Escargot Dining Scene

Workshop Agenda Time

Introduction: Why Formal Dining Etiquette is Relevant 15 mins

Module 1: Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses 2 hrs 5 mins

Module 2: Formal Dining Etiquette on Dining Behavior and Conversation 2 hrs 25 mins

Final Practice: Applying Formal Dining Etiquette at a Mock Meal 45 mins

Wrap Up and Next Steps 20 mins

Module 1

Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses

By Lisa Wortman

Objectives for Module 1

Once you complete this module, you will be able to:• List formal dining utensils and when to use each utensil during a meal.

• Distinguish which place setting is appropriate for a particular meal and for each course.

• Determine your place setting according to the BMW “code”.

• Name each glass and distinguish glass locations at a table setting.

• Explain how to properly use breadbaskets and shared condiments.

• Describe how to properly eat soup, salad, shellfish, entrees, desserts and other difficult foods.

Proper Use of Forma Dining Utensils

Hold your spoon like a pencil

Place the knife between your index finger on the joint between the handle of the knife and the blade of the knife to cut meats and vegetables

Or, use a fish fork and knife if there is a fish knife in your place setting, holding it like a pencil and ensuring your grip is firm so you can remove bones, skin, etc.

Switch your fork and knife from one hand to the other after making a cut and before taking a bite of your food

Proper Use of Forma Dining Utensils

Hold your knife and fork at an angle, pivot your wrists, make the cut, place the knife to the top of your plate, switch the fork to your right hand and take the bite

The Silence Service Code tells the server you are still eating by placing your knife and fork in a way that shows there is space between them on the right side of your plate

When finished, line your knife and fork on my plate in a 10-20 position

10-20 position

Practice Holding Utensils

Practice Activity Instructions:

• I will demonstrate holding a utensil

• Then you will mimic my demonstration

• I will circulate and provide feedback

• We will practice holding each utensil until you are comfortable

Can You Set a Formal Place Setting?

Practice Activity: Creating the Appropriate Formal Place SettingObjective: Given a description of a multi-coursed meal, you will be able to select and place the correct utensils, glassware and dishes in the right locations for that meal’s formal place setting.

•A slide will outline a multi-course menu for a formal dining event.

•Use the dining ware in front of your places to setup the correct place setting for the entire meal. This includes glassware, utensils and dishes.

•You will have 5 minutes per menu and then you can see how you performed.

•We will repeat this activity 3 times so you can practice determining where utensils, glassware and dinner items are located at a place setting.

Ready…

Meal 1: Formal Place Settings

Meal 2: Formal Place Settings

Review of the BMW Code

Bread

Middle/mealWater

B – BUTTER PLATE

M – Main Plate or Middle

W - Water

Using Formal Dining Glassware

Glasses are at the right of your place setting and are arranged in the order that you will use them

The white wine glass is closest to your plate, assuming you will have white wine with an appetizer or your first course

The red wine glass is directly behind the white wine glass and has a larger bowl

Using Formal Dining Glassware

The water glass is the large goblet behind both wine glasses

There may be a champagne flute in the back of the glass arrangement to be used during dessert usually

When drinking water, grasp the bottom of the water bowl and the the top of the stem with enough fingers to make it secure while drinking

When using glasses with stems, pick the glass up by the stem

Etiquette on Shared Table Items

If you are served a roll, break one piece off the bread at a time, close and low to the bread plate, and butter one piece at a time

Eat one piece at a time, taking small bites

If butter comes in a shared dish, take some butter and place it on your bread plate with your butter spreader; then pass the dish to your right

If a breadbasket or other shared condiment or dish is placed closest to you at the table, it is your responsibility to circulate the basket or item around the table passing to your right

Let’s Eat

How to Eat Different Courses in a Formal Dining Meal

How to Eat Shellfish

If the tail is left on the shrimp, you can pick it up with your fingers

If the shellfish is served with a cocktail fork and cocktail sauce, use a spoon to place the sauce on your plate and dip the fish in the sauce with the cocktail fork

If it is a larger shrimp, spear it with your fork, take several bites and leave it on your fork

If shellfish is served in a bowl, hold the base of the glass and spear the shrimp from the liner, placing the shrimp on a plate and eating it with your fork

If you order clams, oysters or anything that comes in a shell, use the cocktail fork to the right side of your place setting

Use your fingers if fish is served in the shell by holding the shell with your fingers, spear the shellfish, twist the item and place it in your mouth

If the shellfish has no shell, simply eat with your fish fork

If you want lemon on the fish, spear the lemon with your cocktail fork, squeeze it with your other hand and ensure it does not squirt on others.

How to Eat Fish

The fish course may be served whole, steamed and with the head and tail on

The fish knife has a slightly different shape than traditional dinner knives

Hold a fish knife like a pencil Remove the skin from the fish with the knife Use the point on the fish knife to cut down the backbone of the fish, pull

the skin away, cutoff the head and tail of the fish and move them to the side of the plate

Once the skin and tail is removed, you may put the knife down and eat with the fish fork only

Even if the fish is not served whole, a fish knife and fork may still be served

Use the fish fork and knife to remove any bones you find in the fish

How to Eat Soup

Your soup spoon is the outermost spoon to the right side of your Dip the soup spoon from a 12 o’clock position on the plate and move the soup spoon

across the edge of the plate Wipe any spills off the bottom of the spoon before sipping it Drink soup from the edge of the spoon that faces you, not from the point of the spoon Between bites when using a soup plate, you may leave your soup spoon on the plate Position yourself at the tables to be successful at eating the soup – use about two widths

of your hand to measure between the edge of the table and your stomach Maintain a straight spine while eating, leaning only slightly if necessary Do not hunch over the bowl, overfill the soup spoon or rest your arms on the table Leave the soup spoon in the soup plate when you are done eating that course Eat soup served in a soup cup in the same way, but always place your soup spoon on

the liner rather than on the saucer, which is too small Leave the spoon on the liner between bites and when you are done with the soup as well

How to Eat Salad

The salad fork is to the left outside and is slightly smaller than the entrée fork

You have the option of eating salad with a fork alone or a knife and a fork

If using only the fork, use the side of the fork to cut different bites of the salad and put them in your mouth

If using both the fork and knife, cut one bite of the salad, placing the knife at the top of your plate between bites

Switch the fork to your right hand and eat the bite that you just cut; continue with this cutting and eating process until finished with the salad course

Whether you eat with the fork only, place the fork and knife parallel to each other in the 10-20 position on the plate when you are finished with the salad course

How to Eat an Entrée

Wait staff will always serve dishes from the left and clear them from the right and glassware is always filled and removed from the right.

Be aware of where the waiter is during the meal because there are times when you need to move slightly to accommodate a waiter

Use the Silence Service Code if you are still eating a course and leave the table, by placing your fork and knife crisscross with the fork pointed up on the plate, leaving space between the utensils

When eating a meat entrée, make one cut at a time and eat each piece before cutting the next piece and taking a bite

Between cutting the meat, place your knife on the upper edge of the plate Remember to switch your fork to your right hand to eat and to the left hand

while cutting with your knife When finished with your meal, place your silverware parallel and close together

on the plate to signal you are done eating

Dessert and Coffee

The dessert fork is used in the left hand as an anchor to hold various items in the dessert service in place, while the spoon scoops each bite

If you choose to use only a fork or a spoon, that is appropriate too Between bites, place the fork and/or spoon on the plate Coffee is usually offered during the dessert course Turn your cup upside down if you do not want the beverage and pass your hand

over the top of the cup, telling the server “No thank you” If you want cream or sugar, ask the person who is closest to the item to pass

them If the items are closet to you, start circulating them around the table If the serving piece has a handle, point the handle towards the person receiving

it Stir tea or coffee quietly if required with your spoon, placing the spoon on the

liner Tea may be brought in an individual serving pot with a teabag Remove the teabag with your spoon and place in on the liner

Eating Difficult Foods

• There are three ways to eat spaghetti without making a mess:1. You can eat spaghetti with a fork, using the side of your fork to cut pieces of the

spaghetti, then eat it2. You can roll two or three strands of spaghetti on the end of your fork and eat it

carefully 3. You can ask for a spaghetti spoon and use to roll the spaghetti in a controlled

fashion

• Use your fingers to eat finger-foods like corn on the cob, eating as neatly as possible

• Take a few bites at a time, put the item down, eat some other items and then continue to eat that item

• Hands should be placed in your lap to the napkin immediately after eating messy food

• Wipe your fingers on your napkin after you have picked up finger-foods and clean off excess food from your hands

Practice: How to Eat a Course

Practice Activity Instructions:

•I will name a course and you will practice eating it using the formal dining utensils and dishes in front of your place setting

•I will circulate and provide you with feedback

•We will continue this activity repeating the process through four courses that I will announce as we progress through the practice exercise

Best Practices from Module 1

Remember the BMW code to locate your bread plate, meal and water glass Use your utensils from the outside of the place setting inward with each course Glassware is used closest to you first and working your way backward through

the meal Circulate bread and condiments to the right if the items are closest to you When eating shellfish and fish, use the cocktail fork, fingers when appropriate

and the fish knife and fish fork to skin and remove the fish’s bones, tail and head Eat soup from the side of the spoon facing you, ensuring not to spill it Cut items one piece at a time, then take a bite before cutting another piece Switch your fork and knife from one hand to the other when cutting and eating Place utensils in the 10-20 position to indicate you are still eating Place utensils in the soup bowl, or parallel and close together on the plate for

other courses to indicate you are finished eating Always place items and condiments on the liner when not in use not on the

tablecloth after they have been used

Break

You have 15 minutes to take a break

Workshop Agenda Time

Introduction: Why Formal Dining Etiquette is Relevant 15 mins

Module 1: Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses 2 hrs 5 mins

Module 2: Formal Dining Etiquette on Dining Behavior and Conversation 2 hrs 25 mins

Final Practice: Applying Formal Dining Etiquette at a Mock Meal 45 mins

Wrap Up and Next Steps 20 mins

Module 2

Formal Dining Etiquette on DiningBehavior and Conversation

by Ellie Rest

Objectives for Module 2

When you complete this module, you will be able to: List different types of events where formal dining etiquette is used.

Explain what behaviors to avoid while at the dining table according to formal dining etiquette.

Describe basic principles of formal dining etiquette involving how to behave and interact with others while dining.

Identify what to do if there is a dining mishap according formal dining etiquette rules.

Generate a list of appropriate topics of conversation to engage in during various types of formal dining events.

Determine how to behave in various formal dining situations while applying formal dining etiquette.

Why is Dining Behavior Important?

Formal Dining Etiquette involves: Using utensils, glassware and shared items appropriately. Eating courses using the right tools and techniques.

But, it’s much more than that…it includes:But, it’s much more than that…it includes: Avoiding dining behaviors that demonstrate poor etiquette. Applying formal dining etiquette principles and techniques to

various dining situations to exemplify etiquette protocol. Interacting with dining attendees appropriately and

professionally according to formal etiquette rules.

Overall, formal dining etiquette is exemplifying the character of a lady or gentleman, no matter what occurs during the event.

Formal Dining Etiquette Applies To:

Business meetings and company-sponsored events Business interviews for a job or with potential clients Celebrations, ceremonies, customs and services Fund raisers and charity events Awards, recognition and honorary events Formal dinner parties with friends or family Fine-dining restaurants

Video: Bad Dining Etiquette

Show Video of Bad Etiquette at:http://www.monkeysee.com/play/2249-Basic-Dining-Etiquette-Table-Taboos

Dining Etiquette Behaviors to Avoid

NEVER:

Start a course before the entire table is served

Make comments that are sexual, derogatory or discriminatory

Call-out other attendees’ poor dining etiquette

Speak while chewing, eating or drinking

Drink alcohol in excess

What behaviors did you see in the video that show poor dining etiquette?

Dining Etiquette Behaviors to Avoid

NEVER:

Answer or make phone calls or leave the volume up on your phone

Reach across place settings or eat off other attendees’ plates

Season your food before tasting it first

Switch name cards at an event that has pre-set seating arrangements

Take medication or discuss your health at the table

Video: Proper Formal Dining Etiquette

Show Video of Appropriate Dining Etiquette:http://www.monkeysee.com/play/2246-Basic%2DDining%2DEtiquetteS

Formal Dining Etiquette Rules to Exemplify

Wait until the host sits down before taking your seat

Males should assist females in sitting and getting up from the table by pulling out the chair and pushing it in as the female sits

Immediately place your napkin on your lap once seated

Excuse yourself by quietly stating “excuse me”

Place your napkin on your chair if you leave the table

Signal to the server when he or she is nearby if you need something

Only stand during a toast or when excusing yourself from the table

What were some best practices you observed in the video of formal dining etiquette?

Etiquette Rules to Exemplify (cont.)

If a shared item is placed in front of you, always circulate the item to your right at the even if you are not using the item

Ensure the item fully circulates around the table before taking a helping

Always pass the salt and pepper together as a pair

Cut food into small pieces that are easy to chew and take small bites

Order simple foods that are easy to eat and not messy

Keep pace with the table by ending your meal if everyone else is finished

How to Appropriately Deal with a Mishap

If you drop a utensil, never pick it up

If you spill food, leave it and don’t try to hide it

If you spill a drink, don’t try to clean it up; get a server’s attention who will clean up the spill

If you are served the wrong dish, wait until a server approaches and quietly explain the error

If you are allergic to a food, do not announce it at the table; politely ask the server if there is another option

If you spill on yourself or have something in your teeth, politely excuse yourself and clean up in the restroom

Activity: Dining Scenarios and Reactions

Practice Activity: Determine How to Respond in Various Dining Scenarios

Objective: Determine and write down how you would react to various formal dining scenarios applying formal dining etiquette principles.

10 minutes

Group discussion about how to react to different scenarios on the worksheet using formal dining etiquette.

Fill-in this Scenario Worksheet individually on how you would react to each scenario applying formal etiquette rules.

using formal dining etiquette.

10 minutes

Scenario Worksheet

THEN

Ways to Enhance Dining Conversation

Read and watch current new and events

Research the company, charity, clients or event’s purpose

Think of interesting, unique or intriguing stories that will entertain others

Ask open-ended questions and listen to the answers attentively

Respect other people’s opinions and perspectives

Thinking before speaking, using simple language and choosing your words carefully

Avoid interrupting other people

Don’t dominate the conversation

Avoid controversial topics

Activity: Dining Conversation Topics

Practice Activity: What Topics of Conversation Are Appropriate?

Objective: Adapt the rules of formal dining etiquette to various types of events and determine appropriate topics of conversation to discuss that demonstrate your knowledge, respect and engage others.:

Group’s Formal

Dining Event

Assign 1 Event Card per table with different formal dining events

Teams have 10 minutes to discuss and flip chart 5 key topics of conversation for the event

5 Topics of Conversation

Each team presents for 5 minutes on their 5 topics

Teams include an explanation for topics

Repeat until all groups have presented

Best Practices in Dining Conversation

Prepare for the event by researching charity, company, attendees and the event’s purpose and/or objectives

Respect other dining cultures and customs, using words carefully

Ask engaging questions to clarify responses and show understanding

Listen attentively and let people finish what they are saying

Participate in discussions and invite others to join the conversation

Make good eye contact when speaking to others

Make an effort to speak to everyone at the table

What were some best practices you discussed at your tables about having a conversation using formal dining etiquette?

Key Takeaways from Module 2

Formal dining etiquette: Applies in various types of dining events

Involves eating techniques, behaviors, interactions and overall dining performance

Avoid behaviors that would be embarrassing and give poor impressions

Focus on why you are at the event, what makes a good impression and how dining etiquette rules can be adapted

Use formal dining etiquette principles to show professionalism, courtesy and graciousness.

Prepare for formal dining events by planning appropriate conversation topics that will engage others, demonstrate your listening and inquiry skills, and display confidence.

Break

You have 15 minutes to take a break

Workshop Agenda Time

Introduction: Why Formal Dining Etiquette is Relevant 15 mins

Module 1: Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses 2 hrs 5 mins

Module 2: Formal Dining Etiquette on Dining Behavior and Conversation 2 hrs 25 mins

Final Practice: Applying Formal Dining Etiquette at a Mock Meal 45 mins

Wrap Up and Next Steps 20 mins

Final Practice: Mock Formal Dinner

Practice Activity: It’s Time to See Formal Dining Etiquette in Action!

This is an informal individual assessment, so I can observe the application of your formal dining etiquette principles and techniques in practice. You will get feedback on your performance, but this is not a graded activity.

Instructions:1.Sit at your assigned place card, using formal dining etiquette throughout this activity from when you sit to when I tell you it is over.2.Your place settings are set for a pre-fixed meal that will appear on the slide.3.Act as if you were attending a real formal dining event, using appropriate conversations, manners and techniques to “eat” each course.4.I will announce when a course starts at which point you should use your utensils appropriately, pretend to cut and eat the meal or eat the soup. 5.Use as many techniques as you can as you go through the meal.

Final Practice: Mock Formal Dinner

Instructions (cont.)6.Use appropriate dining behavior and conversation during the course and pretend to eat the course until I instruct you to stop.7.Once utensils are placed on the dishware to indicate you are finished with your course, I will tell you to move used dishware to the center of the table. 8.Continue applying formal dining etiquette and “eating” each course per my instruction until the entire meal is completed.9.To make things interesting, I will randomly handout “Instruction Cards” to individuals who must follow the instructions on the card without revealing the card to anyone else. I will be observe how you and your tablemates respond to a situation. 10.At the end of the meal, we will discuss best practices and I will provide you with feedback.

Any questions?

First Course: Butternut Squash Soup

Second Course: Seared Scallops

Third Course: Beet Salad with Avocado

Fourth Course: Roasted Guinea Hen

Fifth Course: Cheese Course

Sixth Course: Chocolate Soufflé

Workshop Agenda Time

Introduction: Why Formal Dining Etiquette is Relevant 15 mins

Module 1: Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses 2 hrs 5 mins

Module 2: Formal Dining Etiquette on Dining Behavior and Conversation 2 hrs 25 mins

Final Practice: Applying Formal Dining Etiquette at a Mock Meal 45 mins

Wrap Up and Next Steps 20 mins

Best Practices of Formal Dining Etiquette

Be able to accurately locate and use your dining utensils, glassware and dishware for various courses,

Know what to do and what not to do when interacting and behaving during a formal dining event

Prepare to attend a formal dining event by reviewing utensil use, eating techniques, formal dining etiquette do’s and don’ts and topics of discussion

What were some key takeaways from your formal dining experience? Does anyone want to share formal dining etiquette rules that were easy or difficult

to remember ?

Next Steps

Use the Formal Dining Etiquette Job Aid as a resource and reference to recall foundational knowledge

Contribute to and visit the class website at: http://lisawortman.com/EDTEC572/ for useful resources, tips and to share your experiences moving forward

I will post your contributions of best practices and what your learned to this site

Fill out the class evaluation so we can incorporate your feedback and modify the class to improve it

Contact me with questions at dining.etiquette@sdsu.com