the.middle.s05e13.hdtv.x264 lol eng

8/12/2019 The.middle.S05E13.HDTV.x264 LOL Eng

1/44


2/44

you got to load up on the meats.

1400:00:31,328 --> 00:00:33,405Now, remember,when we get to King Henry's,

1500:00:33,510 --> 00:00:35,980everyone has to haveone green on their plate.

1600:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,816I'm kidding!

1700:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,759How weird would that beif I was serious?

1800:00:39,837 --> 00:00:42,108I'm going all soups.

I love their soups.1900:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,558Thousand Island, ranch,blue cheese--

2000:00:44,668 --> 00:00:46,693Brick, those aresalad dressings.

21

00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,079No, I don't think so.

2200:00:48,146 --> 00:00:49,807They have ladles and bowlsright next to them.

2300:00:50,036 --> 00:00:52,800I'm home!

24

00:00:52,981 --> 00:00:56,130Okay. I'm here. I'm starving.Let's go.

2500:00:56,225 --> 00:00:57,163Right after church.

2600:00:57,238 --> 00:00:58,519


3/44

Oh, whoa! Church?

2700:00:58,623 --> 00:00:59,822We have to go to church first.

2800:00:59,905 --> 00:01:02,455We should at least thank Godfor our squatters coupon.

2900:01:02,542 --> 00:01:04,150Oh, come on!I don't want to sit in church.

3000:01:04,234 --> 00:01:06,182I can't take Reverend Hayveron an empty stomach.

3100:01:06,289 --> 00:01:07,582No, no, no,

we have a guest minister--3200:01:07,724 --> 00:01:10,793Reverend Eric Deveauxfrom Cleveland.

3300:01:10,910 --> 00:01:12,171Very charismatic.

3400:01:12,275 --> 00:01:14,762

He and Reverend Hayver areon a minister-exchange program.

3500:01:14,847 --> 00:01:17,459Even dad likes him.He's very entertaining.

3600:01:17,569 --> 00:01:18,544I'm gonna tell you somethingright now.

3700:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,360You can't outrun the Lord!

3800:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,919Where you gonna run to, son?

3900:01:22,030 --> 00:01:27,279


4/44

Our voices will ringforeve-e-e-r

4000:01:27,382 --> 00:01:33,075 as o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one

4100:01:33,699 --> 00:01:35,630Blows Reverend Hayverout of the water.

4200:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,070Ooh. Baby sister'slooking at colleges.

4300:01:39,159 --> 00:01:39,796Let's see.

4400:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,017Purdue-- Pur-don't.

4500:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,571IU-- I don't see yougetting in there.

4600:01:45,781 --> 00:01:46,715Wait. No.

4700:01:47,043 --> 00:01:49,012No, no, no!

Don't even think about it!4800:01:49,089 --> 00:01:50,683East Indiana Stateis my school!

4900:01:50,826 --> 00:01:52,438Mom, dad, make her stop!Seriously!

50

00:01:52,561 --> 00:01:54,744You know, I-I can gowherever I want, Axl.

5100:01:54,874 --> 00:01:56,455You can't stop mefrom thinking about it.

52


5/44

00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,703I'm thinking about it right now!

5300:01:58,818 --> 00:01:59,766What?

5400:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,888In fact, I'm gonna bethinking about it all day!

5500:02:01,952 --> 00:02:03,313No. Make her stopthinking about it. Make her--

5600:02:03,403 --> 00:02:07,125- Oh, East Indiana, we will fightfor you - No! That's not--

5700:02:07,225 --> 00:02:08,889

- East Indiana, we will alwaysbe true - Don't sing our fight song!

5800:02:09,006 --> 00:02:10,988Do you see this? Do you seewhat's happening here?

5900:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,748- No. Come on. - We shall defeatthem with our tongues!

6000:02:13,831 --> 00:02:14,736No!

6100:02:17,964 --> 00:02:19,835Axl, your sister can gowherever she wants.

6200:02:19,934 --> 00:02:21,277Sue, stop tormentingyour brother.

6300:02:21,378 --> 00:02:22,955Now, come on--we got to go worship the Lord

6400:02:23,048 --> 00:02:24,382and then gorge ourselves.


6/44

6500:02:27,003 --> 00:02:28,414Who didn't wantto come here this morning?

6600:02:28,491 --> 00:02:30,193Show of hands.Come on. Be honest.

6700:02:30,279 --> 00:02:32,262You're tired, it's early.

6800:02:32,426 --> 00:02:33,670You stayed up too late

6900:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,492watching back-to-back episodesof Burn Notice.

70

00:02:37,322 --> 00:02:39,759- Put your hands down! - Okay, I see.You're being accountable there.

7100:02:39,858 --> 00:02:41,772That's what I want to talkto y'all about this morning--

7200:02:42,508 --> 00:02:43,639accountability.

7300:02:43,717 --> 00:02:45,480There's no way you'regetting into East Indiana State.

7400:02:45,580 --> 00:02:47,060I can do whatever I want, Axl.

7500:02:47,186 --> 00:02:48,840In fact, I am gonna pray to God

7600:02:48,938 --> 00:02:50,885that I get intoEast Indiana State.

7700:02:50,974 --> 00:02:52,074What?Don't you dare do that.


7/44

7800:02:52,165 --> 00:02:52,923Dear God--

7900:02:53,026 --> 00:02:54,221- Stop doing that.- You can't control me!

8000:02:54,363 --> 00:02:55,703Fine--I'm gonna double-pray

8100:02:55,774 --> 00:02:56,738that you don't goto East Indiana.

8200:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,012- Don't you dare!- God, please--

8300:02:59,536 --> 00:03:01,662When you seea stranger on the street and...

8400:03:01,787 --> 00:03:03,630- God, please don't let her goto East Indiana State. - Stop it, Axl!

8500:03:03,727 --> 00:03:04,359Ow!

8600:03:05,713 --> 00:03:06,540Mike.

8700:03:06,742 --> 00:03:08,555Oh, you havefreakishly strong fingers.

8800:03:08,759 --> 00:03:11,073Hey! Knock it off.

8900:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,419I'm serious.

9000:03:12,572 --> 00:03:14,580- God, please don't--- Ow! Don't you--


8/44

9100:03:14,657 --> 00:03:17,003Axl, Sue! Stop it!Stop it right now!

9200:03:19,027 --> 00:03:20,933I c--

9300:03:25,554 --> 00:03:27,889At any rate,the Lord loves you.

9400:03:27,983 --> 00:03:30,028He loves your friendsthat didn't make it, either.

9500:03:32,044 --> 00:03:32,949Hi.

96

00:03:34,602 --> 00:03:36,279You're the Hecks, right?

9700:03:36,509 --> 00:03:38,967Could I see you for a moment?

9800:03:41,331 --> 00:03:44,885Let me just saywe are so sorry about earlier.

99

00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:46,821This will never happen again.

10000:03:47,002 --> 00:03:48,553I-I nevertalked to my family

10100:03:48,650 --> 00:03:50,848about not throwingsacred books in church,

10200:03:50,976 --> 00:03:54,148but, in my defense,I didn't think I had to.

10300:03:54,290 --> 00:03:56,596Folks, I don't want to take uptoo much of your time,


9/44

10400:03:56,799 --> 00:04:00,259but it seems like you're undera great deal of stress.

10500:04:00,382 --> 00:04:02,889No. We're fine.Just a regular amount of stress.

10600:04:03,006 --> 00:04:03,879Yeah.

10700:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,664Look. We kind of have...somewhere we have to be.

10800:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,950But we're fine.We are.

10900:04:08,037 --> 00:04:09,483That was justan isolated incident.

11000:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,903Well, you know,it's not just this one day.

11100:04:12,035 --> 00:04:14,886Uh, Reverend Hayver said,

you know,11200:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,759that there's been some issues,a-a little history.

11300:04:18,842 --> 00:04:19,668Am-- am I right?

11400:04:19,746 --> 00:04:21,298

- History? What history?- The van.

11500:04:21,403 --> 00:04:22,633We gave it right back.

11600:04:22,728 --> 00:04:24,732Now, I assure you--


10/44

nobody's on trial here.

11700:04:24,821 --> 00:04:27,840I just like to reach outto families in crisis

11800:04:27,985 --> 00:04:29,620and, you know,offer some counsel.

11900:04:29,717 --> 00:04:31,977As the formerassistant spiritual advisor

12000:04:32,088 --> 00:04:34,321for the Cleveland Brownsfor 1 and 3/4 of a season,

12100:04:34,494 --> 00:04:38,022

consider me hereto lift you up.

12200:04:38,198 --> 00:04:42,180But to do that,I got to able to get underneath.

12300:04:42,307 --> 00:04:43,172You know what I'm saying?

124

00:04:43,291 --> 00:04:48,351And the deeper I dig,the higher we can go.

12500:04:48,439 --> 00:04:51,593Oh, we're plenty high.We are up there in the clouds.

12600:04:52,357 --> 00:04:55,416I mean, we fight, sure,but we have fun, right?

12700:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,667We do all kindsof fun stuff together.

12800:04:57,759 --> 00:04:59,143We, um...


11/44

12900:04:59,515 --> 00:05:01,984eat... and...

13000:05:02,112 --> 00:05:02,914Come on, people.

13100:05:03,017 --> 00:05:05,311Tell him all the otherfun family stuff we do.

13200:05:06,468 --> 00:05:08,440Oh!We play Twizzlestick.

13300:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,584It's a really fun gameI invented.

134

00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:11,859It's where you're in a room

13500:05:11,949 --> 00:05:13,259and you haveone body part showing

13600:05:13,366 --> 00:05:15,327and if nobody notices youwhen they come in,

13700:05:15,437 --> 00:05:16,665you get a point.

13800:05:22,645 --> 00:05:23,781Twizzlestick!

13900:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,355Twizzlestick!

140

00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,258Twizzlestick!

14100:05:31,643 --> 00:05:34,355So, you all really get intothis, uh, Twizzlestick, huh?

14200:05:34,448 --> 00:05:36,296


12/44

- Oh... sure. - So much fun.- Not really.

14300:05:36,392 --> 00:05:37,786Love playing Dorklestick.

14400:05:38,232 --> 00:05:40,961You know what? This hasbeen great-- really helpful.

14500:05:41,068 --> 00:05:42,470But we're good.We are.

14600:05:42,554 --> 00:05:43,980It's my fault.I threw the book.

14700:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,379

But we're--we're really good.

14800:05:45,456 --> 00:05:46,205Aren't we all good?

14900:05:46,291 --> 00:05:47,908- So good.- We love each other so much!

150

00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:49,048You sure?

15100:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,391'Cause, you know,when that teakettle's whistling,

15200:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,829it's timeto take it off the stove.

15300:05:53,923 --> 00:05:55,915Yeah, but our teakettleis fine.

15400:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,555In fact, we're all heading out

155


13/44

00:05:57,679 --> 00:06:00,033to eat together as a familyright now.

15600:06:00,222 --> 00:06:02,669Okay.Well, fair enough.

15700:06:02,901 --> 00:06:07,408But if there's ever anythingyou'd like to talk about,

15800:06:07,506 --> 00:06:09,072my door is always open.

15900:06:09,175 --> 00:06:11,190Nope. This was great.Thank you.

160

00:06:11,258 --> 00:06:12,040All right, then.

16100:06:12,137 --> 00:06:13,877You guys have yourselvesa blessed Sunday.

16200:06:14,008 --> 00:06:15,813That's exactlywhat we're gonna do.

16300:06:16,344 --> 00:06:18,063Sometimes I feel invisible.

16400:06:28,412 --> 00:06:31,536So, Brick, what do you mean,you feel invisible?

16500:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,957No. He's not invisible.Just ignore him.

16600:06:34,114 --> 00:06:34,922Ignore him?

16700:06:35,026 --> 00:06:36,253No! Not "Ignore."

168


14/44

00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:37,495It's just,he says things sometimes,

16900:06:37,607 --> 00:06:38,532but don't pay attention.

17000:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,918You don't pay attention to him?

17100:06:40,017 --> 00:06:41,242No, we do, but it's just,

17200:06:41,328 --> 00:06:42,857he's insignificantin this conversation.

17300:06:42,958 --> 00:06:43,908He's not invisible.

17400:06:44,027 --> 00:06:45,095Sorry, Brick.

17500:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,515Great job, Brick.

17600:06:53,592 --> 00:06:55,033If we end upat a table by the bathroom,

17700:06:55,119 --> 00:06:56,606I will pound you.

17800:06:56,711 --> 00:06:59,436Brick, can you, um,expand a little more

17900:06:59,545 --> 00:07:00,790on what you were saying?

18000:07:00,903 --> 00:07:03,300Oh, it's just a generalizedfeeling of invisibility.

18100:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,533But I know my family reallywants to get to King Henry's,


15/44

18200:07:05,628 --> 00:07:06,963and I don't want themto be mad at me.

18300:07:07,107 --> 00:07:08,911I can already sensethe hostility.

18400:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,732- What-- That's ridiculous!- What are you talking about?

18500:07:10,833 --> 00:07:11,679Come on, Brick.

18600:07:11,797 --> 00:07:12,664You know, maybe I should

18700:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,610take a little time-outwith Brick alone.

18800:07:17,221 --> 00:07:18,383Crap.

18900:07:20,017 --> 00:07:21,507I am starving!

19000:07:21,824 --> 00:07:23,803I know, Axl.We all are.

19100:07:23,886 --> 00:07:26,829No, you don't understand.I haven't eaten in four days.

19200:07:26,975 --> 00:07:27,930I went full bear mode.

19300:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,038I literally have had nothing

19400:07:29,157 --> 00:07:32,288but a handful of Chex Mixand a plum in the last 96 hours.


16/44

19500:07:32,375 --> 00:07:34,047Let's just go.Let's leave him here!

19600:07:34,123 --> 00:07:35,897Yeah, that's a great idea, Axl.

19700:07:36,003 --> 00:07:36,757We've just been accused

19800:07:36,861 --> 00:07:38,158of treating himlike he's invisible,

19900:07:38,255 --> 00:07:40,214and now you're suggestingwe ditch him.

200

00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:41,222We can't, right?

20100:07:41,313 --> 00:07:42,609- Mike!- What?

20200:07:42,721 --> 00:07:44,268We got our worst playerin there.

20300:07:44,404 --> 00:07:45,936We're nevergonna get out of here.

20400:07:46,018 --> 00:07:47,231This is terrible.

20500:07:47,406 --> 00:07:48,870If we're in troublewith Reverend Deveaux,

20600:07:48,994 --> 00:07:50,835we're in trouble with God.

20700:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,195You know they talk.

208


17/44

00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:55,831I bet all the squattersare squatting by now.

20900:07:56,053 --> 00:07:57,170No way we're getting a booth.

21000:07:57,482 --> 00:07:59,618Look. You know what?Maybe this is a good thing.

21100:07:59,736 --> 00:08:00,665Did you not hear?

21200:08:00,742 --> 00:08:02,869He spiritually counseledthe Cleveland Browns.

21300:08:02,972 --> 00:08:04,230

Cleveland, Mike.21400:08:04,330 --> 00:08:06,009So... yeah.

21500:08:06,161 --> 00:08:08,127Besides, it's free counseling.

21600:08:08,264 --> 00:08:09,675I mean, are we really

in the position21700:08:09,778 --> 00:08:11,437to be turning downanything free?

21800:08:11,531 --> 00:08:13,431That's a bad roadto go down, Frankie.

219

00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:14,839You can't look too closeat stuff.

22000:08:14,940 --> 00:08:17,327You pull one thread,and the whole thing unravels.

221


18/44

00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,803No good can comefrom examining your life.

22200:08:22,651 --> 00:08:24,061So, let me--let me get this straight.

22300:08:24,203 --> 00:08:25,950Your folks left youwith another family

22400:08:26,032 --> 00:08:28,122for a monthafter you were born,

22500:08:28,206 --> 00:08:29,769you still eat dinnerin a lawn chair,

22600:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,853and they made you wait 10 yearsfor a lime-green jello salad?

22700:08:34,101 --> 00:08:35,807That ain't right.

22800:08:36,238 --> 00:08:38,617Also, they never buy methe kind of toothpaste I want.

22900:08:38,806 --> 00:08:41,643Everyone likes peppermint,but I want wintergreen.

23000:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,502I've always wantedto try wintergreen.

23100:08:43,666 --> 00:08:45,111

Wintergreen!

23200:08:45,460 --> 00:08:47,248Well, don't you evertell them this stuff?

23300:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,562Well, I try, but they always


19/44

say things like,

23400:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,470"Not now, Brick.We can't hear the TV, Brick."

23500:08:53,654 --> 00:08:56,143You know, Brick,you're the youngest,

23600:08:56,309 --> 00:08:58,294so you--you're gonna have to speak up.

23700:08:58,441 --> 00:09:00,479I want to try somethingthat worked really well

23800:09:00,569 --> 00:09:03,151

for a team I ministered tocalled the Browns.

23900:09:03,248 --> 00:09:04,897I don't know what that is.

24000:09:05,585 --> 00:09:06,935It's a football team.

24100:09:07,036 --> 00:09:08,024

Oh!24200:09:08,103 --> 00:09:09,718Sports analogiesdon't work for me.

24300:09:09,828 --> 00:09:10,982Okay.

24400:09:11,316 --> 00:09:12,316

N-never mind.

24500:09:12,441 --> 00:09:13,520Uh...

24600:09:13,842 --> 00:09:15,239Let's put it a different way.


20/44

24700:09:16,872 --> 00:09:18,066If there was one thing

24800:09:18,179 --> 00:09:21,301you wished your familyunderstood about you,

24900:09:21,444 --> 00:09:22,604what would it be?

25000:09:23,073 --> 00:09:24,129Hmm.

25100:09:24,479 --> 00:09:26,300I guess sometimes I feelthat the whole family

25200:09:26,389 --> 00:09:28,580

would be happierif they didn't have me here--

25300:09:28,682 --> 00:09:30,152if I didn't exist.

25400:09:30,558 --> 00:09:31,777Wow.

25500:09:32,183 --> 00:09:33,429

Brick, that's deep.25600:09:33,890 --> 00:09:34,995That's...

25700:09:35,691 --> 00:09:37,507deep-down deep, man.

25800:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,140You got to tell them that.

25900:09:39,233 --> 00:09:40,013Really?

26000:09:40,094 --> 00:09:41,297Yes!

261


21/44

00:09:41,379 --> 00:09:43,064It's like I toldmy dear friend Bono

26200:09:43,152 --> 00:09:44,512back in the Cleveat his induction

26300:09:44,614 --> 00:09:46,273into the rock and rollhall of fame--

26400:09:46,396 --> 00:09:49,824You gotta use your voice,my man!

26500:09:49,904 --> 00:09:51,404Demand to be heard!

266

00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:53,420Now, why don't Ibring your family back in here

26700:09:53,532 --> 00:09:55,301and you can tell themhow you feel?

26800:09:56,312 --> 00:09:57,705Couldn't hurt.

26900:09:57,944 --> 00:09:59,529Yeah, I'm just, uh,checking on a few things.

27000:09:59,634 --> 00:10:01,652Um, how are you guyson the mac and cheese?

27100:10:01,974 --> 00:10:02,997Mac and cheese is good.

27200:10:03,107 --> 00:10:04,346They just brought outa fresh bucket.

27300:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,629What's the jimmy situation?


22/44

27400:10:05,745 --> 00:10:07,369If you folks will come back inand sit down now,

27500:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,767Brick has something veryimportant he'd like to tell you.

27600:10:10,473 --> 00:10:11,558Is this somethingmy wife could handle

27700:10:11,648 --> 00:10:13,197and tell us about later?

27800:10:18,544 --> 00:10:19,609Go ahead, Brick.

279

00:10:19,701 --> 00:10:21,743Tell your teammateswhat you told me.

28000:10:22,199 --> 00:10:23,753It's safe, my man.You got this.

28100:10:29,030 --> 00:10:30,982I really wantthe wintergreen toothpaste.

28200:10:31,782 --> 00:10:33,726Um... okay.

28300:10:33,821 --> 00:10:35,318W-wait. H-hold on.

28400:10:35,524 --> 00:10:37,035Go on, Brick.

28500:10:37,578 --> 00:10:39,179What else?

28600:10:40,460 --> 00:10:41,647Oh. Right.

28700:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,074


23/44

See, 'cause you always say

28800:10:43,165 --> 00:10:45,185we're gonna get wintergreen,but we never do.

28900:10:45,283 --> 00:10:46,657You just get peppermint.

29000:10:47,185 --> 00:10:49,397No. No. No.

29100:10:49,528 --> 00:10:53,044Brick, remember what you saidabout how you feel?

29200:10:53,134 --> 00:10:56,561About how you thinkthey wish you weren't here?

29300:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,647No, I-I think if I getthe toothpaste, I'm good.

29400:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,952I mean, it really all comes downto the toothpaste.

29500:11:03,576 --> 00:11:04,487

I think we can do that.29600:11:04,595 --> 00:11:05,519- Wintergreen it is. - Absolutely.- I had no idea.

29700:11:05,610 --> 00:11:06,422He--

29800:11:06,524 --> 00:11:08,435

Okay, well, this has been great.Thanks for all the help.

29900:11:08,547 --> 00:11:09,442Well, okay.

30000:11:09,537 --> 00:11:12,215If you ever want to talk,


24/44

my door is always open.

30100:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,241That's what I do here--

30200:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,258any time a family's in crisis.

30300:11:16,581 --> 00:11:18,872All right, you know,I-I just have to say one thing.

30400:11:18,964 --> 00:11:20,913I feel likewe've gotten a bad rap.

30500:11:21,004 --> 00:11:22,412I don't knowwhat Reverend Hayver told you,

30600:11:22,503 --> 00:11:25,445but we are nota family in crisis-- at all.

30700:11:25,525 --> 00:11:27,549So... spread the word.

30800:11:29,311 --> 00:11:31,939I got drunk at a party

and danced inappropriately.30900:11:42,565 --> 00:11:44,855Sue, what are you talking about?When did this happen?

31000:11:44,999 --> 00:11:46,458Well, it was about a week ago.

31100:11:46,570 --> 00:11:48,804

Remember I went to that partyfor J-P-La?

31200:11:48,968 --> 00:11:51,504There was this lemonade, and...

31300:11:51,783 --> 00:11:55,922I don't know what happened,


25/44

but I got so drunk!

31400:11:57,532 --> 00:11:58,609Hey, you like that?

31500:11:58,708 --> 00:11:59,869It's got alcohol in it.

31600:12:00,057 --> 00:12:03,867So, you just took a sipand you spit it back out?

31700:12:03,937 --> 00:12:04,609Yeah.

31800:12:04,711 --> 00:12:06,193I don't think you were drunk.

319

00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,798Oh, no. I was.

32000:12:07,892 --> 00:12:09,450It affects me differently.

32100:12:09,547 --> 00:12:12,400My body's not full of alcohol,like yours!

322

00:12:12,797 --> 00:12:15,226Threads, Frankie.Threads.

32300:12:15,316 --> 00:12:16,571Something happened.

32400:12:16,807 --> 00:12:19,155I had reduced inhibitions.

325

00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,602You don't know what I did.You didn't see it.

32600:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,917I did a terrible,terrible thing.

327


26/44

00:12:24,053 --> 00:12:26,148I don't even want to say it!It was so horrible!

32800:12:26,254 --> 00:12:27,458Sue.

32900:12:29,258 --> 00:12:30,677I twerked!

33000:12:37,484 --> 00:12:38,355A-- aah!

33100:12:41,475 --> 00:12:42,291See?

33200:12:42,389 --> 00:12:43,379That's exactlywhy I don't want her

33300:12:43,489 --> 00:12:44,567at East Indiana State.

33400:12:44,687 --> 00:12:45,445Are you gonna send me

33500:12:45,535 --> 00:12:46,582to some six-monthmilitary camp

33600:12:46,686 --> 00:12:49,792where they scream at youand make you crawl through mud?

33700:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,069I may need that!

33800:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,720Well, I think we've got a handle

on the problem now.

33900:12:53,784 --> 00:12:55,704It's twerking and toothpaste.

34000:12:55,791 --> 00:12:56,761Thanks, Reverend.


27/44

34100:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,602No! I thinkI really need help.

34200:12:58,693 --> 00:13:00,562I feel likeI'm headed down a bad path.

34300:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,035I think I need a one-on-onewith Reverend Deveaux.

34400:13:04,259 --> 00:13:05,382Brick got one.

34500:13:07,814 --> 00:13:09,758By this point,even I had reached my limit.

34600:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,099I mean,I'm all for free therapy,

34700:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,804but I was starving.

34800:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,119Aren't parents supposed tosacrifice for their children?

34900:13:17,651 --> 00:13:18,696Fine.

35000:13:21,902 --> 00:13:22,819Ew!

35100:13:22,916 --> 00:13:24,305What is this?!

35200:13:24,414 --> 00:13:25,673Wintergreen.

35300:13:25,997 --> 00:13:26,876Oh.

35400:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,605


28/44

I guessI don't like wintergreen.

35500:13:30,114 --> 00:13:30,781Oh!

35600:13:30,882 --> 00:13:32,387And then, one time,someone called

35700:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,371asking us to participatein a short survey,

35800:13:34,485 --> 00:13:37,498and I told them we were busy,but we weren't.

35900:13:37,664 --> 00:13:39,712

I totally could havetaken the survey.

36000:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,273I was votingfor the Teen Choice Awards,

36100:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,058and I voted twice.

362

00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,164I just love Kaley Cuocoso much.

36300:13:45,293 --> 00:13:46,610Thank you.

36400:13:49,001 --> 00:13:51,245Did you even know she was goingto this party the other night?

36500:13:51,474 --> 00:13:53,060Yes, I knew she was going.

36600:13:53,414 --> 00:13:54,951Did you knowthere'd be alcohol?

367


29/44

00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:58,042Yes, I knew there'd be alcohol,so I rushed her right over.

36800:13:58,158 --> 00:13:59,754But first, we stoppedat my dealer's house

36900:13:59,836 --> 00:14:01,456and did some pot.

37000:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,457I'm just saying--she's getting to the age

37100:14:03,535 --> 00:14:05,078where you got to keep your eyeon these things.

372

00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:07,957Oh, I do?She has two parents, Mike.

37300:14:08,027 --> 00:14:09,870I took her to dinner.She likes cheeseburgers.

37400:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,309Ohh! Don't talk about food.

37500:14:12,389 --> 00:14:15,325Oh, sweet, sweet cheeseburgers.

37600:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,391Yeah, you're such a great dad.

37700:14:16,470 --> 00:14:18,027You threw a bookat our son's head!

37800:14:18,097 --> 00:14:19,179I didn't throw it hard.

37900:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,954That old ladypopped right back up.

380


30/44

00:14:22,399 --> 00:14:23,242Y-you know,

38100:14:23,348 --> 00:14:26,423I-I don't think fake gigglingwhile being tickled

38200:14:26,536 --> 00:14:27,822counts as a sin.

38300:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,527No? Are you sure?

38400:14:29,695 --> 00:14:30,961Positive.

38500:14:31,179 --> 00:14:34,653Look, Sue, middle schoolcan be a tough time.

38600:14:34,737 --> 00:14:35,610I'm in high school.

38700:14:35,774 --> 00:14:36,638Really?

38800:14:36,749 --> 00:14:38,024Freshman?

38900:14:38,097 --> 00:14:39,233Junior.

39000:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,452Wow.

39100:14:40,570 --> 00:14:41,549Anyway, my point is,

392

00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:45,673I've never met a moreupstanding, conscientious,

39300:14:45,869 --> 00:14:48,901and loquacious young woman.

39400:14:49,178 --> 00:14:50,850


31/44

So, you think I'll be okay?

39500:14:50,929 --> 00:14:53,443I do. I do.I really do.

39600:14:53,711 --> 00:14:56,174But your dooris always open, right?

39700:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,405Well, semi-open.

39800:14:57,503 --> 00:15:01,216You-- l-limited,uh... office hours.

39900:15:01,316 --> 00:15:04,012But, you know, Reverend Timtom

is always here, too.40000:15:04,129 --> 00:15:05,307Save some stuff for him.

40100:15:05,390 --> 00:15:06,571Okay.

40200:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,942When you borrow my car,

put some gas in it!40300:15:12,039 --> 00:15:13,210Oh, we're gonna talkabout cars.

40400:15:13,302 --> 00:15:16,891You drove my car for three dayswith the parking brake on!

405

00:15:34,538 --> 00:15:36,046We can see you, Sue.

40600:15:36,235 --> 00:15:38,057Okay. You got me.

40700:15:38,173 --> 00:15:39,545That's one point for you.


32/44

40800:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,102Doorknob!

40900:15:43,906 --> 00:15:45,939You didn't say "Twizzlestick"before I grabbed the doorknob,

41000:15:46,052 --> 00:15:47,613so now we both get a point.

41100:15:47,932 --> 00:15:50,492Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious.

41200:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,578Ha!

41300:15:51,850 --> 00:15:54,140

You didn't say "Twizzlestick"while I was saying that,

41400:15:54,272 --> 00:15:56,281so another point for me!

41500:15:56,375 --> 00:15:58,626Sue, no one wants to playyour stupid game!

416

00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:00,968Wow.Are you grumpy.

41700:16:01,309 --> 00:16:03,742Sounds like somebody should gotalk to Reverend Deveaux.

41800:16:03,885 --> 00:16:05,172He's really good.

41900:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,077He doesn't walk away,like dad does,

42000:16:07,186 --> 00:16:08,407when you talk to him.

421


33/44

00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,146Did he feed you in there?You seem really up.

42200:16:12,528 --> 00:16:13,526Axl.

42300:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,422- You doing okay, Mike?- Mm.

42400:16:18,523 --> 00:16:19,907You seem a little on edge.

42500:16:19,989 --> 00:16:20,777No, I'm fine.

42600:16:20,848 --> 00:16:23,632It's just... we have someplace

we got to be.42700:16:23,762 --> 00:16:26,146Well, there's no timelike the present, Mike.

42800:16:26,311 --> 00:16:28,682- Right.- No. Listen to me, Mike.

429

00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:32,319There's no timelike the present.

43000:16:32,473 --> 00:16:33,785It's a gift, my man.

43100:16:33,869 --> 00:16:36,648That's why they call it"The Present."

43200:16:36,741 --> 00:16:37,256Ah.

43300:16:37,341 --> 00:16:39,466Open it up. See what's inside.You feel me?

434


34/44

00:16:39,545 --> 00:16:41,663- Uh... sure.- Okay, good.

43500:16:41,796 --> 00:16:43,949Now, what I always like topreach back home in Cleveland--

43600:16:44,047 --> 00:16:45,417y'all knowI'm from Cleveland, right?

43700:16:45,518 --> 00:16:46,453- I've heard.- Uh-huh.

43800:16:46,536 --> 00:16:47,769What I always like to preach

439

00:16:47,878 --> 00:16:49,537is that when a team or a couple

44000:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,916have a good relationship,the whole family will benefit.

44100:16:54,028 --> 00:16:56,875But it must... start... here.

442

00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:59,203Mommy and daddy.

44300:16:59,292 --> 00:17:01,557Quarterback and star receiver.

44400:17:01,862 --> 00:17:02,562Hmm.

44500:17:02,650 --> 00:17:05,983

Now, Mike, is there anythingabout your past

44600:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,730that you'd like to talk about?

44700:17:08,279 --> 00:17:09,391Nope.


35/44

44800:17:09,872 --> 00:17:11,867Anything about your family?

44900:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,254Nope.

45000:17:13,391 --> 00:17:15,734H-how about your relationshipwith your brother?

45100:17:16,024 --> 00:17:17,128Who told you I have a brother?

45200:17:17,253 --> 00:17:18,296Never mind. Moving on.

45300:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,027

Frankie, what about you?45400:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,100Oh. Uh, I think I hada pretty great childhood.

45500:17:23,183 --> 00:17:25,257Yeah, but it--it can't be easy now.

456

00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:29,646Three kids, family on a budget,your work, you're stressed.

45700:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,552Yeah.

45800:17:30,659 --> 00:17:31,814Yeah, life can be overwhelming,

459

00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:33,469a-and you just needto let it out.

46000:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,390Mm-hmm.

46100:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,679


36/44

And you're alsoat that stage of life

46200:17:35,781 --> 00:17:37,589where you not onlyhave to take care of your kids,

46300:17:37,718 --> 00:17:39,421but your parentsneed you more now.

46400:17:39,516 --> 00:17:40,484Am I right?

46500:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,668That's true.That's definitely happening.

46600:17:42,920 --> 00:17:43,752

Mm-hmm.46700:17:43,995 --> 00:17:46,700Can't be a lot of timefor you in there. Hmm?

46800:17:46,820 --> 00:17:49,685Mom is the toughest jobin the world,

469

00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:53,471and you do havea great husband here in Mike.

47000:17:54,053 --> 00:17:55,387I do.

47100:17:56,455 --> 00:17:58,203I love him so much.

472

00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:02,057Oh.

47300:18:02,173 --> 00:18:03,405Okay.

47400:18:03,732 --> 00:18:05,048It's okay.


37/44

47500:18:05,821 --> 00:18:07,197It's all right.

47600:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,192So, you ever meet Lebron?

47700:18:11,501 --> 00:18:12,370Twice.

47800:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,661Hmm.

47900:18:14,822 --> 00:18:15,721God, what I wouldn't give

48000:18:15,812 --> 00:18:18,140for some Thousand Island soup

right now.48100:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,537Oh, I can't believe I came homefrom college for this.

48200:18:20,629 --> 00:18:22,881I just spent the entire dayin church.

483

00:18:22,981 --> 00:18:24,561I don't know.I actually feel better.

48400:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,132I'm glad we came.I feel renewed.

48500:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,649It's a whole new start for me.

48600:18:28,763 --> 00:18:29,949You ate in there, didn't you?

48700:18:30,066 --> 00:18:31,460I know you ate!What did he feed you?!

488


38/44

00:18:31,552 --> 00:18:33,103Ohhh...God, I'm lightheaded.

48900:18:33,634 --> 00:18:34,804Oh, wow.

49000:18:34,974 --> 00:18:36,326I'm spent.

49100:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,120So, who's ready to eat?

49200:18:38,199 --> 00:18:38,984- Food!- Me!

49300:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,577Whoa, whoa, whoa.

W-we're just getting started.49400:18:40,659 --> 00:18:43,259What this team needs nowis one more big huddle,

49500:18:43,406 --> 00:18:44,544where we lay outsome goals--

496

00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,237No! No way!

49700:18:46,328 --> 00:18:48,405Look, I don't know whatyou think is happening here,

49800:18:48,505 --> 00:18:51,345but I got to tell you,this is not a family in crisis

49900:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,095or whatever--like, at all.

50000:18:53,171 --> 00:18:55,100I mean, yeah, some of the time,we can't stand each other,


39/44


40/44

I mean, right?

51400:19:18,643 --> 00:19:21,049That's... basicallywhat Jesus is saying.

51500:19:21,184 --> 00:19:23,090I knowit's not pretty to look at,

51600:19:23,207 --> 00:19:24,367but we get the job done.

51700:19:24,459 --> 00:19:25,443It's like a...

51800:19:25,742 --> 00:19:27,444like a crappy-lookingfootball team

51900:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,548that manages to win 10 gamesevery season.

52000:19:29,644 --> 00:19:30,706We win ugly.

52100:19:30,912 --> 00:19:32,600It's just how we roll.

52200:19:34,629 --> 00:19:38,036Wow! Well said, Axl.

52300:19:38,122 --> 00:19:41,975To have a-a young manback up his team like that

52400:19:42,086 --> 00:19:43,507gets me right here.

52500:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,713I really feel that.

52600:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,187You know, I don't, uh...

527


41/44

00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:51,784throw this type of complimentaround often,

52800:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,978but you guys aresuch a tight-knit group...

52900:19:55,992 --> 00:19:58,254You remind me...

53000:19:59,286 --> 00:20:01,620of the '87 Browns.

53100:20:03,003 --> 00:20:04,996Best of luck, Heck family.

53200:20:05,555 --> 00:20:06,835Go get 'em.

53300:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,612- He bought it.- Way to go!

53400:20:12,702 --> 00:20:13,494Whoo! Axl!

53500:20:13,575 --> 00:20:14,986Young man.

53600:20:15,164 --> 00:20:17,000- Whoo! Come on. Whoo!- Let's eat.

53700:20:17,834 --> 00:20:18,625Come on, come on, come on!

53800:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,890You go Oriental, I'll go Indian.

Sue, you're on desserts.

53900:20:21,975 --> 00:20:23,435Axl, you hitthe carving station.

54000:20:23,530 --> 00:20:25,463I got the soups!


42/44

54100:20:25,814 --> 00:20:27,797Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

54200:20:27,903 --> 00:20:29,058Right here.

54300:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,275Mmm. Okay.

54400:20:36,420 --> 00:20:37,919Take an egg roll,dip it in this hot cheese,

54500:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,557and chase itwith a sprinkle cookie.

546

00:20:39,646 --> 00:20:40,730Mmm!

54700:20:41,391 --> 00:20:42,826Hey, here's to Axl

54800:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,714for finally getting usout of that place.

549

00:20:44,803 --> 00:20:45,941- Mm.- Cheers!

55000:20:46,034 --> 00:20:47,902- To Axl!- Whoo-hoo!

55100:20:47,988 --> 00:20:48,797Got to hand it to you--

55200:20:48,883 --> 00:20:50,170that thing about"A million times a day

55300:20:50,259 --> 00:20:52,830showing what family'sall about"-- that was genius.


43/44

55400:20:52,909 --> 00:20:55,243I had to bite the inside ofmy cheek so I wouldn't laugh.

55500:20:55,336 --> 00:20:57,265I didn't know you couldput words together like that.

55600:20:57,366 --> 00:20:58,968But I always told youyou had a good imagination.

55700:20:59,101 --> 00:21:00,646You should take a writing classin school.

55800:21:00,724 --> 00:21:02,343Yeah. Well, uh...

55900:21:02,537 --> 00:21:04,847actually, I wasn't justsaying it to get out of there.

56000:21:04,926 --> 00:21:08,834I, uh... kind of...sort of meant it.

56100:21:15,289 --> 00:21:17,361It's okay.

They're happy tears.56200:21:17,515 --> 00:21:18,754- Right?- Mm-hmm, yeah.

56300:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,199I'm so happy.

56400:21:20,323 --> 00:21:22,466

Who knows why Axl saidwhat he said.

56500:21:22,564 --> 00:21:25,084Maybe he was hallucinatingfrom lack of food.

56600:21:25,166 --> 00:21:26,391


44/44

Maybe he meant it.

56700:21:26,482 --> 00:21:27,349All I know is that

56800:21:27,428 --> 00:21:29,745in the game of Twizzlestick,Parenting Edition,

56900:21:29,878 --> 00:21:31,490we were on the board.

57000:21:31,866 --> 00:21:37,295Sure, we were losing 476 to 1,but that 1 sure was sweet.

57100:21:39,731 --> 00:21:45,086Sync and corrections by n17t01www.addic7ed.com

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