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Youth Staff Training Program i Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

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Youth Staff Training Program i Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

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Youth Staff Training Program ii Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Content Guide

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Youth Staff Training Program

Youth Staff Training Program iii Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Youth Staff Training Program iv Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

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Youth Staff Training Program v Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Acknowledgments The Youth Staff Training Program is a series of self-study training modules that form the core of the Navy Foundation Training Program for Program Assistants working with youth in sixth – twelfth grades. The competency-based training modules equip Program Assistants with the skills and knowledge necessary to be successful working with youth and include real-life situations faced by middle school and teen youth every day. To promote training consistency across Child and Youth Programs (CYP), the module format and selected activities and content are patterned after similar series of training modules developed by Teaching Strategies Inc. used by military School-Age Care (SAC), Child Development Center (CDC), and Child Development Home (CDH) Programs. We thank Teaching Strategies, Inc. for laying the groundwork and developing a self-study training format that supports Navy staff working across child and youth program areas. We also thank the Council for Professional Recognition whose “Functional Areas” form the basis of the “core competencies” for youth staff. Many people contributed to the concept, writing, and overall development of this training program. First, we would like to thank M.-A. Lucas, Director of Army Child and Youth Services, who recognized the impact staff have on the lives of military middle-school and teen youth and identified the need for quality training in the youth program. Special thanks to Mary Ellen Pratt, Chief of Army Child Development Programs / CYS Training Programs, Army Youth Modules Project Manager, for her guidance and direction throughout the development of the modules. We also want to recognize Roxanne Spillet, President Boys and Girls Clubs of America (BGCA) and Sarah Berry-Rabun, BGCA Youth Modules Project Manager, for their collaborative support on this project. In addition, we are appreciative of the encouragement and assistance provided by Kevin Montgomery, Chief of Army Youth Programs, for the development of The Youth Staff Training Program. Project content primary authors / editors: Karen Shannon, BGCA Consultant Chris Corrado, BGCA Director of Training & Professional Development

Donna M. McGrath, Army Youth Sports & Fitness Program Manager (Project Lead) Deb Marple, Army 4-H Coordinator, 4-H/Army Youth Development Project

In addition, the following served as primary authors for specific modules: Derry G. Koralek, DGK Associates (Safe) and, from the USDA/ Army Youth Development Project - Marcia McFarland (Professionalism), Dr. Jacqueline Scott (Social and Cultural; Guidance; Families, Communities and Schools) and Dr. Angela Huebner (Guidance). Content on Character Counts! and the Six Pillars of CharacterSM

1 was provided throughout the modules by Mary Jo Williams, Character Education Specialist, 4-H/Army Youth Development Project. Other contributing authors include: from Army CYS Headquarters – Nancy Campbell, Linda Harwanko, Maria Lopez Henderson, Kevin Montgomery and Mary Ellen Pratt, and from the USDA/Army Youth Development Project – Courtney Gaskins and Marianne Reynolds. We would also like to thank Army CYS Headquarters staff Virginia Brown, Nora Clouse, Bea Curl and Ingrid Osewalt for reviewing and providing feedback on the modules. This training program will allow staff to expand their knowledge about middle school and teen youth and their interests, challenges and overall development. Through the completion of the modules, staff will also have the opportunity to build skills in programming, communicating with youth and helping youth to grow and develop into productive citizens and leaders in their communities. Copyright 2006 AMWRF. All rights reserved. Photocopying or reproduction strictly prohibited except within the Department of Defense. 1 CHARACTER COUNTS! and the Six Pillars of CharacterSM are service marks of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics, www.charactercounts.org.

Youth Staff Training Program vi Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

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Families, Schools and Communities

Welcome to Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities. To provide the best possible services to youth, Youth Center staff work alongside families, schools and other community organizations. This guide will show you the importance of developing good relationships with these groups and how to draw upon parents, schools and other community resources to strengthen Youth Center offerings. The Table of Contents below will give you an overview of what you’ll be covering. Throughout this Content Guide, you’ll be directed to the companion Skill Building Journal. This journal contains a module checklist for you to use to chart your progress, a pre-training assessment as well as worksheets for each of the activities in this guide. Together, the Content Guide and Skill Building Journal will help you identify opportunities for growth and put your new ideas into practice. After you move through this Content Guide and Skill Building Journal, your final step will be to complete this module’s knowledge and competency assessments. When you have finished this module, let your trainer know you are ready to schedule them. After you have successfully completed the assessments, you will be ready to begin a new module. Section Page 11.1 Introduction 1

Overview 1 Take a Closer Look 6 Self-Reflection 13

11.1 Pre-Training Assessment 14 11.1 Learning Activities 15

A. Strengthening Your Partnerships with Parents 16 B. Encouraging Parent Participation 21 C. Utilizing Community Resources 23 Summarizing Your Progress 26

Youth Staff Training Program vii Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

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Youth Staff Training Program 1 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

11. Families, Schools and Communities

Program Assistants demonstrate their competence in working with families, schools and communities by: • providing information and support to parents, guardians and families; • offering a variety of ways for parents to participate in their youth’s life at the program; and • facilitating interaction between the youth program, local schools and the greater community.

Overview The day a young person becomes a teenager is the day they stop listening to their parents, right? Well, not exactly. The teen years are a time of self-discovery and bonding with peers, but research shows that parents still have a great deal of influence on their youth in areas of long-term importance. Even as adolescents grumble about their parents’ rules, they still look to their parents for advice on issues of character and values, education and long-term planning. But, increasingly, parents are not the only people they turn to. As youth struggle to define themselves and develop as young adults, they are searching for other adult opinions and ideas in addition to those of their parents. As a Program Assistant involved in the day-to-day lives of youth, you have a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of the youth you serve. In fact, you may find that you’ve become a role model for young people in the program. You also have a special set of youth development skills and knowledge about youth, families and the community at large. As a result, you are in a unique position to support not only the youth in the program, but their families as well. Caring and sharing: building relationships with parents In your work as a Program Assistant, you may feel you have your hands full working with youth. After all, developing and supervising youth program activities, supporting youth needs and teaching and modeling positive life skills is a big job. Why should you spend time and energy working with families too? Well, for many reasons. Forging positive partnerships with the parents, guardians and families of the youth you serve will benefit everyone involved. Parents need to feel confident in your role as a Program Assistant. They need to feel that you care about and are qualified to work with their youth and won’t steer them in the wrong direction. Parents and guardians need to feel that as a result of your working in partnership with them, an adolescent’s life will be enhanced.

One way to build a positive relationship with parents is to share day-to-day information with them. You may assume that parents know everything that’s going on in their youth’s lives. However, this often isn’t the case. In fact, youth may share more information with you than they do with their own parents! Youth may think their parents are too busy or uninterested. It may be easier for them to share things with an adult outside the family. Whatever the reason, by sharing day-to-day information with parents, you will demonstrate that you care about their youth.

11.1 Introduction

Providing information and support to parents, guardians and families.

Overview

Youth Staff Training Program 2 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Having a positive relationship with parents and families can be very worthwhile for you. Most parents care about their youth, are concerned about the challenges young people face and want to support their son or daughter as they go through adolescence. Share with them how you as an adult who enjoys working with this age group, can help youth have positive experiences, explore new interests, learn to work through challenges and appreciate achievements. Here are some ways you can support parents, guardians and families:

Make an effort to get to know parents in the program to help them feel comfortable with Youth Center staff. Example: “Hello, Mrs. Lopez. I hear from Joaquin (11) that you got a new puppy. That’s all he’s been talking about. He’s looking forward to taking care of it.”

Share interesting, positive information about each youth when interacting with parents. Example: “It’s good to see you again, Sergeant Polk. Kevin’s (12) computer skills are really improving. He used the computer to help one of his friends with homework today.” Notify parents about upcoming activities and events in the program, and encourage parents to visit the Center at any time. Example: “It’s great that you could stop by the open house, Mr. Arnold. Please feel free to come by anytime, even when there’s no special event. Also, the new parent-link Web site just went up. It lists all of our upcoming events and activities. I think you’ll really enjoy the convenience of this site.”

Encourage parents to share information about their son’s or daughter’s interests, and use this information in program planning. Example: “I’m glad you stopped by, Captain Thomas. We’re thinking about adding some new game room equipment. What kinds of indoor games does Samantha (11) enjoy?”

Respond to parents’ questions and concerns. Example: “I’m glad you mentioned your concern about Cyndi’s (17) reading ability, Mrs. Marple. I’ve noticed that she seems to squint a lot in the Youth Technology Lab. Has she had her eyes checked recently?”

Maintain confidentiality about all youth and families. Example: “Yes, Mrs. Kaplan, Mrs. Powell and I did meet to discuss her son John’s (15) behavior. I’m sure that if she wants to share what we discussed with you, she will.”

Deal effectively with angry parents through the use of appropriate communication and conflict resolution skills. Example: “It sounds like you are really angry right now, Mr. Montgomery. Please come back to the office, and we can discuss this issue privately.”

Recognize when families are under stress. Example: Hi Mr. Ramirez, “It looks like you really have your hands full since your wife deployed. You’re welcome to join our parent resource group if you want.”

Notify a supervisor when support or referrals are needed. Example: “I noticed some bruises on Karen’s (16) arms. As my supervisor, you need to know that I’ve called the abuse hotline.”

Introduce parents to others who live in the same neighborhood or have sons or daughters the same age. Example: “Mrs. Kelsey, have you met Mrs. McGrath? Her daughter is about the same age as yours.”

Overview

Youth Staff Training Program 3 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Participate in conferences with parents, program staff and school representatives as appropriate. Example: “Mrs. Lucas, thank you for inviting me to this conference. It’s important that we all work together. I’m happy to share my observations about Randy’s (17) behavior in the Youth Center.”

Communicating character As you share information with parents, try to show them that you are a person of character. Communicating character to parents, guardians and families isn’t much different than the work you do with youth. After all, every day you model the Six Pillars of CharacterSM

1 – trustworthiness, respect,

responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship. You recognize that all your actions need to reflect good character so that youth will develop these traits. Display these same qualities in your dealings with parents and you will go a long way toward building positive relationships. Parents will feel more comfortable with you and be assured that their youth’s experiences in the Youth Center will be positive and developmentally appropriate. As you think about ways to show good character, pay particular attention to the pillar of citizenship. Citizenship is about more than voting, respecting authority and protecting the environment. It also means doing your share to make a community better. A community can be defined in many ways. It may be the town you live in or your neighborhood. The Center is another type of community, and you want to make it clear that you are a good citizen of this community. Helping young people, families, schools and other groups feel comfortable with the Youth Center is an important act of citizenship. Promoting participation

As a Program Assistant, you should not only try to forge positive relationships with families, but offer ways for parents to actively participate in their youth’s lives at the program. This will help parents understand your role in the Youth Center, let them see the quality of the programs their youth are participating in and allow them to have even more influence and impact in their child’s life. This may seem easier said than done – you know that parents are very busy. So how can you encourage them to participate when there are so many demands on their time and energy? Here are some strategies for getting parents involved:

Offering a variety of ways for parents to participate in their youth’s life at the program.

Invite parents to serve on the Parent Involvement Board (PIB). Example: “Hello again, Major Campbell. Have you heard about our Parent Involvement Board? I think you would bring a very valuable perspective to the team. Would you consider becoming a member?”

Survey parents’ needs and interests and provide appropriate workshops and resources. Example: “While you’re waiting for Tessa’s (13) piano lesson to be over, would you talk to me about the kinds of resources and workshops we could provide to parents of adolescents? Your input will really help us to serve our clients better!”

Offer a variety of ways to participate in the program to accommodate parents’ varied schedules, interests and unique skills. Example: “I know you can’t volunteer to be a chaperone at the dance because you work in the evenings, Mrs. Pratt. Would you be willing to help plan the Fall Festival instead?”

1 CHARACTER COUNTS! and the Six Pillars of CharacterSM are service marks of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics, www.charactercounts.org.

Overview

Youth Staff Training Program 4 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Hold regularly scheduled informal family events at times that are convenient for most parents. Example: “As part of the Summer Newcomer’s Event, we’re hosting a Youth Center tent that will be located right next to the main tent. We think its location will make it easier for parents to find us!”

Provide an orientation for new parents so they can get to know staff and understand what their son or daughter will be doing. Example: “The orientation will be held several times this fall. We’re asking for command support so that parents can stop by during their lunch break.”

A bridge to the community at large

Facilitating interaction between the youth program, local schools and the greater community.

Another important role you have as a Program Assistant is in developing resources in the community, having a positive relationship with the School Liaison Officer (SLO) and knowing what resources your community offers to youth and their families. Both families and the larger community need to know that you are an important resource in working with youth. If a youth needs a referral or the family is in crisis, it’s your role to work with your supervisor and the resources you have available to find help. But keep in mind, while you want to help facilitate the necessary referrals, do not give advice. This is not your role. Here are ways you can help facilitate relationships between the youth program, local schools and the

greater community.

Share knowledge about other organizations on- and off-installation that enhance and support youth development. Example: “Hey, Ms. Donna, remember how we were talking about needing to find a place that offers youth internships? I saw an article in the paper about a local business that wants to mentor teens. I’m going to contact them and see what they offer.”

Collaborate with other youth program, school and community staff to plan and conduct programs and activities that support school-related activities. Example: “Hello, Mr. Jeff. Thank you for volunteering to be a guest speaker for our photo club. The teens working on the school year book are really looking forward to you sharing your expertise.”

Refer youth and their parents to youth programs, school programs and community resources that enhance and support youth education. Example: “Hi, Maura (18.) I have that brochure about the career night. It is sponsored by three different agencies. Why don’t you share this with your parents? Then we can talk about how to get you involved.”

Provide youth and their parents with information that will assist them with educational transition issues. Example: “Chief Petty Officer Tomlinson, you must have so much to do before the move. Lori (16) and I visited some Web sites today to learn more about her new community. We found the sites for her new school and the installation Youth Center. I know she can’t wait to share them with you.”

As you cultivate relationships with families, schools and your community, it is important to be culturally sensitive. In fact, appreciating cultural differences is one element of good character – it falls under the pillar of respect. The Social and Cultural module talks more about the importance of cultural awareness and strategies for promoting it in the Youth Center. Cultural awareness is just as important in dealing with parents as it is in working with youth, especially as you work to build positive partnerships. If you don’t take the time to understand and appreciate the viewpoints of people with different backgrounds than your

Overview

Youth Staff Training Program 5 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

own, you run the risk of accidentally offending a parent. On the other hand, if everyone working together feels respected and appreciated, you will be able to forge stronger alliances. You will also be able to understand a youth’s family life and where their parents’ views come from – and that will help you work with families and other organizations to better serve youth. As a Program Assistant, you have a tremendous opportunity to work with parents, schools and community organizations in support of youth. After all, you have day-to-day interactions with youth. You have earned their trust and respect, and while they view you as an authority figure, you have a different role than parents or teachers. Young people may tell you things they wouldn’t think to share with other adults. As a result, you can use your unique insights and youth development skills to complement the work being done by parents, schools and other community organizations. This module will discuss the importance of partnering with others and will look at ways you, as a Program Assistant, can build positive relationships with parents, get parents involved and expand upon youth program services by working with others. The following pages give examples of how Program Assistants effectively work with families, schools and the community. As you read them, think about what staff are doing and why.

Take a Closer Look

Youth Staff Training Program 6 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Take a Closer Look Now you have a broad overview of the importance of working with families, schools and communities, but how do these concepts affect you as a Program Assistant? On the following pages, you’ll find situations you might encounter on the job. As you read the situations, think about how the Program Assistants work with families, schools and community groups to deal with specific challenges with youth. Have you found yourself in similar situations? These examples are designed to help you communicate with families, offer opportunities for parental involvement and work with schools and community organizations to offer youth the best possible resources. After you read each example, you will be directed to your Skill Building Journal to answer questions. Example 1 Providing information and support to parents, guardians and families.

1. Make an effort to get to know all parents in the program to help them feel comfortable with Youth Center staff.

2. Share interesting, positive information about each youth when interacting with parents.

3. Notify parents about upcoming activities and events in the program, and encourage them to visit at anytime.

4. Encourage parents to share information about their youth’s interests, and use this information in program planning.

5. Respond to parents’ questions and concerns.

6. Maintain confidentiality about youth and their families.

7. Deal effectively with angry parents through the use of appropriate communication and conflict resolution skills.

8. Recognize when families are under stress, and know when to alert supervisors for support and referrals.

9. Introduce parents to others who live in the same neighborhood or have youth the same age.

10. Participate in conferences with parents, program staff and school representatives as appropriate.

Stephen (14) and his family have just moved to the installation. Stephen’s parents, Colonel and Mrs. Henkle, stop by the Youth Center to talk to some of the staff and take a tour of the facility. Mr. Tony introduces the Henkles to Mr. Kent. “Your son’ll enjoy being part of the Youth Center,” says Mr. Kent. “We’ve got a variety of activities and programs for his age group.” “We’re glad there is a Youth Center here,” replies Colonel Henkle. “We’re a bit concerned about Stephen making friends. He got pretty upset this time when we moved. He hasn’t been trying to make new friends at all. He just sits in front of his computer, playing games. This doesn’t help him meet other kids.” It’s sometimes difficult for young people to make friends when they move around so much,” replies Mr. Kent. “We do have a Youth Technology Lab that focuses on more than computer games. We

Take a Closer Look

even have a 4-H Technology Group that works on special computer projects. What else is he interested in doing in his spare time?” “He enjoys music mixing,” says Mrs. Henkle Mr. Kent smiles, “Great, we have dances here and always need DJs to help out.” “The teens also enjoy spinning in the teen lounge during the week. Even though it gets a bit loud, we know teens love music,” Mr. Tony adds. “When’ll Stephen be stopping by?” “Tomorrow after school,” replies Colonel Henkle. “We’ll talk to him tonight and tell him about the program here.” “Great,” Mr. Kent says. “I’ll give you a call at the end of the day and let you know how his day went. Would that be helpful?” “How thoughtful of you,” replies Mrs. Henkle. “I’d really appreciate that very much.” “We’ll send you our monthly program schedule. That way you’ll know when programs and activities are scheduled. We also have family nights that’ll be fun for both of you!” says Mr. Tony. The Henkles thank them for their help. They look excited about what they have learned about the Youth Center. Stephen visits the Youth Center the following day and receives a tour from Mr. Kent, who tells him about the Youth Technology Lab, the possibility of being a DJ for an upcoming dance and also about the music program in the lounge. “This is awesome, thanks! I think I’d like to check out the Youth Tech Lab and look into the DJ stuff too,” says Stephen. Two of the other youth overhear their conversation. “You know how to DJ?” asks Melissa (15.) “Sure do,” Stephen replies. “What’re your favorite tunes to spin?” asks Tyler (14.) As the three continue talking, Mr. Kent starts to walk away to allow them to get to know each other. “Oh, don’t forget Stephen, the 4-H Technology Group meets on Friday of this week. Hope to see you there!” “Thanks. I’d like that a lot!” says Stephen. At the end of the day, Mr. Kent calls the Henkles to inform them of Stephen’s first day at the Youth Center. He tells them how well he got along with the other youth and about an upcoming dance. He suggests they come as chaperones so they can see Stephen in action. “Stephen was a huge hit. All the youth wanted to find out more about him,” says Mr. Kent. “Before he left, he also stopped by the Youth Technology Lab. He’s going to join the 4-H Technology Group on Friday.” “I guess we can finally stop worrying!” says Colonel Henkle. “Thanks for your help!”

Youth Staff Training Program 7 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Take a Closer Look

Youth Staff Training Program 8 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

“It looks like he’ll fit right in,” says Mr. Kent. “And as long as we continue to communicate about Stephen, he’ll be fine.” “By the way, I see you’ve got soccer leagues. I’d be interested in coaching,” says Colonel Henkle. “Great,” replies Mr. Kent. “We’re having a meeting in a few weeks. I’ll let you know the day and time.”

Go to the Skill Building Journal and answer the questions for Example 1 in Section 11.1, Take a Closer Look. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Example 2.

What’s next?

Take a Closer Look Example 2 Offering a variety of ways for parents to participate in their youth’s life at the program.

11. Invite parents to serve on the Parent Involvement Board (PIB).

12. Survey parents’ needs and interests and provide appropriate workshops and resources.

13. Offer a variety of ways to participate in the program to accommodate parents’ varied schedules, interests and unique skills.

14. Hold regularly scheduled informal family events at times that are convenient for most parents.

15. Provide an orientation for new parents so they can get to know staff and understand what their youth will be doing.

Because she has to work second shift, Staff Sergeant Shannon has been concerned that she isn’t able to spend enough time with her daughter, Mary (13.) She stops by the Youth Center to complete a permission slip for Mary to attend a trip on Saturday. “Hi, Sergeant Shannon! Good seeing you! How’re you doing?” asks Ms. Joanna. “Doing well, thanks. I wanted to make sure you got this permission slip. Mary keeps reminding me about this trip, so I thought I’d stop by and complete it,” says Sergeant Shannon. “Everyone’s excited about the trip. I’m glad Mary will be going. How are things going with you?” Ms. Joanna asks. “Good, just busy at work,” Sergeant Shannon replies. “I’m working the second shift, and feel like I don’t have enough time to spend with Mary. I really wish I could spend more time with her. It’s just hard right now until I get a first shift again. I know she loves to come to the Youth Center, so I’d hate to take that away from her.” “Gee, I can understand that,” Ms. Joanna replies. “One solution might be for you to get involved here. We’ve got a Parent Involvement Board. We’re always looking for parents who can volunteer for some of our special events.” “I never thought of that,” says Sergeant Shannon. “My time’s really limited, but I’ve got a few hours to help out. Mary loves coming here and participating in the activities, and if I have the opportunity to help when I can, then I can spend more time with Mary.” “As it turns out, we need a couple more parents to help out on the trip this weekend! They’ll be returning by 2:00 p.m. Would that work for you?” asks Ms. Joanna. “Actually, yes, it would! What a great idea,” says Sergeant Shannon. That night before dinner, Sergeant Shannon tells Mary that she would like to spend more time with her and that the Youth Center needs some volunteers for the trip on Saturday. “Would you like us to spend a little more time together?” asks Sergeant Shannon.

Youth Staff Training Program 9 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Take a Closer Look

Youth Staff Training Program 10 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

“Sure, Mom. That’d be great. I’d like to spend more time with you too! And I think the other kids will like you. You’re fun for an older person!” Mary says as she laughs. “Older person? Hmmm, I guess I can take that as a compliment,” Sergeant Shannon says with a smile back to Mary. “When my schedule changes, we’ll have much more time to be together. And when it does, I might even look into joining the Youth Center’s Parent Involvement Board.” “That’d be awesome,” says Mary. “I love you, Mom.” “I love you, too, Mary,” says Sergeant Shannon, giving Mary a big hug.

What’s next? Go to the Skill Building Journal and answer the questions for Example 2 in Section 11.1, Take a Closer Look. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Example 3.

Take a Closer Look Example 3 Facilitating interaction between the youth program, local schools and the greater community.

16. Share knowledge about other organizations on- and off-installation that enhance and support youth development.

17. Collaborate with other youth program, school and community staff to plan and conduct programs and activities that support school-related activities.

18. Refer youth and their parents to youth programs, school programs and community resources that enhance and support youth education.

19. Provide youth and their parents with information that will assist them with educational transition issues.

Mr. Juan has been assigned to assist, Ms. Jan, in the Homework Center for the week. Mr. Juan has noticed that Kyle (15) has been struggling for the past two days on his math homework and seems very frustrated. “Hi, Kyle,” he says as he walks up to him and leans over to see his work. “How’s it going?” Kyle looks up and just shrugs his shoulders. Mr. Juan waits a bit, then says, “Looks like you’re having a tough time with that assignment.” “It’s really hard, Mr. Juan,” replies Kyle. Tina (15) who is sitting next to Kyle chimes in. “I’m having a hard time too. Kyle and I just can’t figure this out. Half the class is really struggling. We’re all good students, but this is really over our heads.” Mr. Juan tells the youth that he’ll look into the situation. He tries to help them so that they can complete as much as they can. After the youth leave the Center, Mr. Juan has a discussion with Ms. Jan. “A few of the youth seem to be having a hard time completing their math homework. Do you think we should contact the School Liaison Officer and ask him to check with the school to see what’s happening in that math class?” asks Mr. Juan. Ms. Jan agrees that they should find out if other students are having challenges with the math assignments. During the call, Mr. Sam, the School Liaison Officer, explains that he has found out that many students have in fact been complaining about the difficulty of recent math assignments, and the school has come up with a plan to assist those who are struggling. “We know it’s a tough class, but the school offers assistance to students who need it,” says Mr. Sam. The next day, Mr. Juan talks with the youth. “Hi, Kyle and Tina. Got some news for you on that math class. Apparently, some other students are also having problems completing assignments. The good news is the school has come up with a way to help everyone. Students who are excelling in this area will come over to the Center to help you with your math homework. Does this sound like something you’d like to be involved in?”

Youth Staff Training Program 11 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Take a Closer Look

Youth Staff Training Program 12 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Kyle and Tina look at each other and smile. “Sure! When do we start?” ask Kyle. “Now that I know you’d use their help, I can make arrangements for them to be here beginning tomorrow. Would that work?” responds Mr. Juan. “Yep,” replies Tina. “Thanks for your help, Mr. Juan.”

What’s next? Go to the Skill Building Journal and answer the questions for Example 3 in Section 11.1, Take a Closer Look. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Self-Reflection.

Self-Reflection

Youth Staff Training Program 13 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

Self-Reflection What is a family?2 Think for a moment about what the word family means to you. Do you think of different kinds of family relationships? Who makes up your immediate family? What about your extended family? Is the community part of your idea of family? Without even thinking about it, Program Assistants bring firsthand experiences to their role in working with families. Your own experiences growing up or having children of your own naturally influence how you view families, what you think a family should look like and how you feel parents should raise their adolescents. It’s natural to draw upon your own experiences. However, you need to be aware of how those experiences may be shaping your interactions with parents and youth. Parenting can be a difficult job The families of the youth you work with may resemble those from your own experiences, or they may be very different. For example, youth may be growing up with a single mother or father or with a stepparent. During times of deployment, youth may also experience life in a single-parent family as the remaining spouse attempts to parent alone. The stresses families experience can make parenting a very difficult job. It may help to remember that all parents want the best for their sons and daughters and that they are probably trying as hard as they can to be good parents. They too are guided by their own experiences growing up in a family. In addition, because of military families’ frequent moves, extended family members such as grandparents, aunts and uncles may not be available to offer the support and advice that less-mobile civilians may receive. Before you begin the learning activities in this module, spend a few minutes thinking about how your own views and experiences may affect the way you work with families. Think, too, about the importance of modeling good character by respecting others and accepting their differences. Understanding youth’s families – and your own attitudes about parenting and family life – will help you better understand and support the youth you serve. Also consider the role of the community. How do schools, community agencies and other youth groups help you in your work with youth in the Youth Center? 2 Activity adapted from Module 11: Families, The School Age Staff Training Program, developed for Department of the Army by Teaching Strategies Inc., 1994.

What’s next? Go to the Skill Building Journal and answer the questions for Self-Reflection in Section 11.1. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with the Pre-Training Assessment.

Pre-Training Assessment

Youth Staff Training Program 14 Module 11: Families, Schools and Communities

11.2 Pre-Training Assessment

Before you can move forward in any area of life, you need to know where you stand. How could you begin improving your ties to families, schools and community resources without a clear sense of what you need to work on? To give you that sense of where you are now, a pre-training assessment will help you look at how you currently work with these groups. This assessment will measure the knowledge and skill areas that you will be studying, and it will help you pinpoint areas for improvement. Ultimately this assessment, and other checklists in the Skill Building Journal, will help you develop a plan for your own skill development. Don’t worry – this assessment is not a test. It will not be graded or judged. Rather, it is a tool for you, an opportunity to identify knowledge and skill areas that you may want to improve. As you answer the questions, be thoughtful and honest with yourself. That’s the only way you can get a true picture of your needs and create a useful plan of action for your professional growth.

Go to the Skill Building Journal and complete the Pre-Training Assessment in Section 11.2. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with the Learning Activities.

What’s next?

Self-Reflection

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Learning Activities

11.3 Learning Activities

Section Page

A. Strengthening Your Partnerships with Parents 16 B. Encouraging Parent Participation 21 C. Utilizing Community Resources 23

Summarizing Your Progress 26

Learning Activity A

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A. Strengthening Your Partnerships with Parents

In this activity, you will learn to: • identify ways to develop positive partnerships with parents; • use different techniques to promote effective communication with parents;

and

• use your communication and conflict-resolution skills to effectively deal with parents.

Parents and staff should become partners Youth, staff, parents and the program all benefit when staff and parents communicate and partner with each other. Note that when parents are discussed in this module, it really means the youth’s primary care giver. This could be a step-parent, foster parent or whoever has been designated as the youth’s guardian. When you forge a relationship built on trust and respect, parents feel comfortable sending their son or daughter to the Youth Center. They are secure in the knowledge that their adolescent is participating in safe, challenging and healthy activities when away from school and home. As a Program Assistant, you benefit from the support of the family. Think about how much easier it is to work with youth when their parents support program activities and field trips and value the work you do! Finally, and most importantly, a strong partnership benefits youth. Youth Center staff know information about the new skills a young person is developing, who his or her friends are, the activities he or she enjoys, and how he or she deals with challenges. By combining this information with parents’ knowledge and concerns, both parents and staff can gain a more complete understanding of a young person and work together to support his or her interests and needs. A strong partnership will also help youth feel confident that both their parents and the Youth Center staff are connected to them in positive ways. So how do you begin developing this all-important partnership? Obviously you can’t just snap your fingers and make it happen. Like any relationship, partnerships with parents take time to develop. However, you can start by trying to understand parents’ needs. Try to look at the Center from a parent’s perspective: What are the benefits to them in having their adolescents come to the Youth Center? Do they feel they can easily contact you or other staff if they have a question or concern? Are they treated well when they come to the Youth Center? What resources are provided to them? Ultimately, parents need three things to have a positive working relationship with the Youth Center:

staff they trust; good feelings about the Youth Center; and solutions to problems.

Staff they trust Would you feel comfortable sending your son or daughter to spend the day with someone you didn’t trust? Neither would the parents and guardians of youth in your program. Therefore, from the day a youth enters the program, you should begin working to gain their parents’ trust. The efforts you make will pay off – the more parents recognize the valuable contributions you can make to their son’s or daughter’s

Learning Activity

Learning Activity A

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life, the better they will feel about their adolescent coming to the Youth Center and the more likely they will be to support the program. In order to trust you with their son or daughter, parents need to feel confident that you are a qualified staff person interested in the welfare of their adolescents. They need to know that you care and will steer youth in the right direction. Much of this trust will come naturally with time. The more time you spend in getting to know parents and letting them get to know you, the more they will come to trust you. But you can speed this process along. How? By making every effort to draw parents into the program and by providing information about yourself to parents. You can let them know your background, experiences, interests and how much you enjoy working with youth. Here are some other strategies to help you cultivate parents’ trust:

Let parents know they are important to the success of both their adolescent and the Youth Center as a whole.

Let parents know that you are not doing them a favor by serving them; they are doing you a favor

by giving the Youth Center the opportunity to serve their youth.

Treat parents with respect and provide superior service in all your interactions with them. Good feelings about the Youth Center Developing partnerships with the parents of young people can be difficult. Unlike school-age children, adolescents are not required to be supervised during the non-school hours unless requested by parents for middle school age youth. Therefore, many parents do not see the need for their son or daughter to participate in Youth Center activities. In addition, because adolescents are more independent than school-age children, they often get to and from the Center on their own. In many cases, parents have no reason to come into the Youth Center at all! Despite these difficulties, it is essential that parents have good feelings about the Youth Center and your role in their son or daughter’s life. Both parents and staff have different information about individual youth. Parents know their son’s or daughter’s relationship with other family members, his or her likes and dislikes, how he or she adapts in new situations, how he or she is disciplined, and his or her goals and dreams. This information is valuable as you work with youth. So take the extra effort to connect with parents and make them feel good about the Youth Center. As a Program Assistant, you should look for ways to let parents know that the Youth Center is more than a recreation center; there are many excellent programs and they are always welcome. You can encourage parents to volunteer in the program. Perhaps they have a skill to share. Or invite them to come in and observe programs such as talent shows, award ceremonies, 4-H demonstrations and other activities that will foster relationships and commitment between you, parents and youth. Solutions to problems Parents can be your biggest installation supporters. Commanders will support the Youth Center when parents can articulate its value. But how do you demonstrate value to parents? First, learn about them. What are their interests? What kind of work do they do? How do they feel about their son or daughter participating in the program? What stresses are they facing? Let them know how you will work with them to share information about their son or daughter. Explain their opportunities for involvement and

Learning Activity A

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encourage them to participate at some level. These strategies will help parents think of you and the other Youth Center staff as valuable resources in the community. If parents do not drop by the Youth Center, think about ways to get information to them. Develop information packets to be mailed home, distribute a calendar of events to family workplaces, visit workplaces during lunch hour, schedule time at the newcomers’ briefing, partner with the local Parent/Teacher Association (PTA), or design a Web site. Be creative! Once you have established trust and parents feel good about the Youth Center and are aware of its resources, you are on your way to becoming important allies. Here are some more suggestions for fostering a positive relationship:

Respond to parents’ concerns or questions. Such concerns are important to parents and therefore should be acknowledged. Example: “Yes, we are taking a canoeing trip this weekend. I understand your concern about your daughter’s safety. I’m a certified canoe instructor and a lifeguard, and I’ll be going on this trip. I’ve been taking youth on these trips for three years. We always take extra adults and review the rules with the whole group before getting on the water.”

Help parents focus on their son’s or daughter’s accomplishments instead of their shortcomings. Example: “Well, maybe Tim (13) didn’t score the winning goal. But he did tell me he got an “A” on his algebra quiz yesterday. Isn’t that great?”

Share problems when you need to work together to help the youth. Example: “Tina (18) seems really down lately. She doesn’t seem to be her usual bubbly self. Have you noticed this at home too?”

Acknowledge events and transitions in families’ lives. Example: “Congratulations on your promotion! Tomika (15) said you are going on a trip to celebrate!”

Keep in touch when the youth is ill or absent. Example: “Hello, Mrs. Wayne. How is Marcus (12)? We’ve missed him at the Youth Center.”

Maintain confidentiality when parents share something private with you. Example: “I’m glad you told me about this. It really helps me to understand why Jackie (15) acts this way. I understand this is very personal information. My director and I will keep this confidential.”

Communication skills are critical for your work Communication is one of the most important skills you need to have as a Program Assistant. The Communication module teaches the importance of active listening skills. In addition to helping you work with youth, active listening skills are critical for helping you to defuse conflicts with other adults. Despite your best efforts, the reality of working with youth means there may be times when you are confronted with an angry parent. Parents may be angry for many reasons. Perhaps they don’t agree with a program activity that is being offered; maybe they think the Youth Center is to blame for a bad habit their son or daughter has acquired; maybe they don’t agree with or understand the code of conduct; or maybe they don’t think you should have sent their son or daughter home. Whatever the reason, you need to be ready to deal with their frustration.

Learning Activity A

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Several de-escalation techniques are crucial to remember when confronted with an angry parent:3

1. Ask the parent to step aside to talk privately. 2. Let the parent blow off steam before proceeding. Don’t interrupt. Let them vent. 3. Listen attentively to everything the parent has to say.

4. Let the parent know you are paying attention.

Acknowledge the fact that the parent is angry. “You seem really upset about this issue.” Acknowledging their anger is not the same as agreeing with their position; it simply shows you recognize their emotional state.

Try to defuse their anger by letting them know you want to get their issue addressed.

“I really want to answer your question. Please tell me what happened.”

Paraphrase the issue back to the parent to ensure you understand what is being said. “So what I hear you saying is that you are upset because Jerrod (13 years) was sent home from the Youth Center yesterday and you were not notified? Is this what you’re saying?”

5. Propose a solution to the problem.

At this point you’ll proceed in one of two ways: either the parent will have calmed down enough for you to continue with the steps below or you’ll ask that the parents meet with the Director or someone else in charge. The more immediately the parent can meet with someone in charge, the better. Clarify the situation without defensiveness. State the facts about what happened. If proper procedures were followed, there should be no need for defensiveness. “It’s true that Jerrod was sent home from the Center yesterday. He threw a punch at another youth. We have a strict policy against violence in the Center that is outlined in the code of conduct that Jerrod signed. He has been warned several times about controlling his temper. When he was asked to leave, we tried to call the number listed on his registration form, but there was no answer. No alternate contact number was given.” Allow the parent to respond to your clarification. “I guess we did forget to update Jerrod’s registration form when we moved into our new house. I thought my work phone number was in there – I guess I was mistaken.” Offer to work together with the parent to correct the issue. Under no circumstances should you ever blame the parent for the youth’s behavior. Such blame will only weaken your partnership. Instead, offer ways of assisting. “I would be happy to meet with you and your wife to talk about Jerrod’s behavior. If we work together, maybe we could come up with some ways to help him control his temper.”

3 Adapted from, “Customer Service Training”, Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

Learning Activity A

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As you deal with an angry parent, keep in mind simple conversation tips:

Treat their concern as legitimate. Respect their point of view. Repeat what they say to ensure understanding. Be willing to hold back your opinion. Show flexibility in proposing a solution. Separate the person from the problem.

Remember that the ultimate goal of communication is understanding. This is especially true when a parent has a problem or is making a complaint. A win-win partnership Strengthening your relationships with parents may sound like a lot of work, and it’s true that it can be challenging. But as a Program Assistant, you already use many of these relationship-building strategies every day. Many of the skills and strategies you use to develop and maintain close ties with youth can be extended to their parents. And the pay-off to stronger relationships with parents – having staunch allies, uniting to help youth and being able to defuse conflicts – is definitely worth it.

Go to the Skill Building Journal and complete the worksheets for Activity A in Section 11.3. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Activity B.

What’s next?

Learning Activity B

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B. Encouraging Parent Participation

In this activity, you will learn to:

• identify ways to involve parents in the program.

Let parents know how they can become involved Getting parents involved in Youth Center programs can be challenging. It’s not that parents aren’t interested in getting involved. Far from it. Most parents want to be involved in their youth’s life through the program, but they aren’t sure what to do. While some parents have flexible schedules that allow them to be volunteer coaches or chaperones on field trips or at dances, other parents may not have such flexibility. They still need to know that there are many ways to contribute to the program. Some parents may want to have an ongoing partnership at the Youth Center. Other parents may be interested in volunteering for a special event once or twice a year. Either option involves them with the Youth Center and provides interaction with their son or daughter. As a Program Assistant, you should work with other staff members to create a variety of options for parental involvement. You’ll find the best results come when you can match parents’ interests, skills and schedules. So don’t take a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, seek out information from the parents themselves. For example, when parents register their son or daughter, ask them to fill out a short checklist or questionnaire listing ways they might assist with the program. If parental consent is not needed for Youth Center participation, this questionnaire could be mailed to the parents after the youth registers. Here are some suggestions for helping parents become involved in your program:

Hold orientations for new parents and youth several times a year. Because of frequent relocations, more than one orientation is needed. Try to become a part of the “newcomers’ briefing.”

Invite parents to share their interests and talents.

The parents of the youth in your Center have a wide range of skills and interests, and they might be willing to share these with youth. Invite them to teach a workshop on painting, woodworking, needlecraft or cooking, or to share travel videos or talk about job preparation.

Organize special family nights at the Youth Center.

Have any combination of parent-youth career nights or parent-youth sports tournaments. Get the youth involved in recruiting their parents to come!

Organize a series of parent workshops on topics related to raising adolescents.

Learning Activity

Learning Activity B

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You can survey parents to find out what topics would be of most interest to them. Work with your local FFR or 4-H Extension office to get materials.

Provide a copy of a frequently updated wish list of resources, materials and people you

would like to have at the program. Parents might make contributions themselves or put you in touch with businesses, community organizations or individuals who would be willing to contribute time, talents and materials.

Inform parents about CYP Parent Involvement Board in which they may participate.

Inform parents when CYP Parent Involvement Board meet and encourage them to attend and provide input.

A valuable resource Both you and the youth you serve know that the Youth Center is a terrific place for young people to explore their interests, learn new skills and have fun. Parents, on the other hand, may have only a vague picture of the Center and may not appreciate all it has to offer youth and families. The programs speak for themselves, so encourage parents to get involved and get an inside look at the Center’s benefits. Parental involvement is great for everyone. Youth have the chance to spend time with their parents while involved in activities they enjoy. Parents gain a complete understanding of the youth program as well as the opportunity for family time. And while parents are discovering all the great things the Youth Center offers, you’ll get a better understanding of how parents – with their diverse set of skills, talents and interests – are a valuable resource for the program. As you learn more about the parents of the youth in your program, you might find that the possibilities for their involvement are endless.

What’s next? Go to the Skill Building Journal and complete the worksheets for Activity B in Section 11.3. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Activity C.

Learning Activity C

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C. Utilizing Community Resources

In this activity, you will learn to:

• identify other organizations on- and off-installation that enhance and support youth growth and development; and

• recognize the role of the School Liaison Officer.

Identifying resources The goal of every Youth Center program is to offer youth activities and information that will positively support and enhance their growth and development. Schools, clubs and many other community organizations have the same goal. Partnering – the process of sharing resources such as staff, trainings, facilities, transportation and ideas – allows both parties to expand their offerings, reach more people and achieve common goals. Think about the schedule of programs and activities that you offer now. What resources do others contribute in order for you to deliver those programs and activities? How could resources help you expand program offerings on- and off- installation? Who does the Youth Center partner with to support programming on- and off- installation? The community has resources such as bowling alleys, pools, libraries, golf courses and individuals with skills that could make a huge impact on your Youth Center programming. Don’t forget that schools as partners also offer lots of important resources such as help with tutoring. Programming that supports and enhances youth development and growth While the majority of a youth’s time is spent in school, school is not the only place where youth learn new things or gain new life skills. Youth Center programs and activities should not duplicate the school day. Instead, what you offer should build upon and support what goes on in school. For example, Homework Centers and Youth Technology Labs are designed to provide support to military youth’s education and their continued growth and development outside the classroom. Other Youth Center activities teach valuable life skills such as communication, conflict resolution and cultural sensitivity. Of course, the Youth Center isn’t the only organization offering programs and activities to military youth. There are many others. Your Youth Center is not in competition with these organizations – just the opposite. After all, even by partnering the Youth Center cannot meet all the needs, desires and interests of its youth. One of the signs of a quality youth agency is that it is staffed with caring adults who get to know the youth and take a personal interest in their well-being. One of the best ways you can help youth is to know when and where to refer them to other organizations. Afraid you won’t know where to refer them? Don’t worry! Knowing how to help them find out is just as important.

Learning Activity

Learning Activity C

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For finding help and resources for youth, you will want to research on- and off-Installation resources. Look within your own community for on- installation partners such as the Chaplain’s office, health clinic, NEX, and counseling and community center. Your off-installation community also has lots of possible resources such as community recreation programs, retail stores, fitness centers, community colleges, trade schools and other youth serving organizations. All of these resources have potential to help you provide solutions for youth and their families and to identify opportunities for youth to expand their horizons (i.e., through possible internships with local businesses.) While you might not immediately use a resource you have found, knowing what’s available to youth and their families is an important role you have as a Program Assistant. Supporting youth transitions Military youth experience a tremendous number of transitions. The adolescent years are a time of great change, what with physical development, the move from middle to high school, work, and the emotional and social development that comes with being a young adult. For military youth, add to these changes the transitions that come with moving. The Youth Sponsorship Program is required by law to assist youth who move from one installation to another. Moving is a significant emotional event for youth, and changing schools may be the hardest transition of all. Consequently, providing parents and youth with information that will assist them in relocating and changing schools is extremely important. The School Liaison Officer is charged with providing this information and assistance to parents and youth. However, as a Program Assistant, you also play a role in supporting youth’s transitions. You can do this by providing stimulating activities and programs, offering referrals and by taking a personal interest in youth. The connection with schools Since the Youth Center serves youth during non-school hours, you may not feel that you have a close connection with local schools. However, a strong partnership between schools and the Youth Center benefits everyone. School is a major part of young people’s lives, and there are many ways for you to support youth in their schooling. For starters, your Homework Center and Youth Tech Lab offer academic support. But there’s more. The Youth Center can offer youth invaluable emotional and social support. As military youth face yet another new school, they may be very nervous. Will they make new friends? Will they have to eat lunch alone? You can work with youth new to the community to ease these fears. After all, you work with Youth Center members on a daily basis. By introducing newcomers to other youth with similar interests, you’ll give them a social group and help them feel more comfortable going to school. You can also work with youth who are facing an upcoming move by helping them research their new community or contacting their new Youth Center. In some cases, you might not work directly with the local schools, but you have a resource that is your direct link to them – the School Liaison Officer (SLO). The SLO will keep staff informed about school happenings and opportunities for partnerships. For example, are there special projects youth are doing that you can expand upon in the Youth Center? Does the Homework Center have the appropriate materials for school assignments? If youth are complaining about a teacher, let the SLO know. They can help.

Learning Activity C

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Collaborate and capitalize When resources are limited, collaborations benefit everyone. The unique demands of military life are too great for one organization to provide every answer or meet every need. By working together, however, the youth program and other organizations with similar goals can ease the transitions that military adolescents face. Whether you choose to work closely with school contacts, community clubs or other youth organizations, investigate the resources available in your community. You’ll find yourself a greater resource to parents and youth as a result. For additional information on working with community organizations / partnerships refer to modules 13, 14-I, 14-II.

Go to the Skill Building Journal and complete the worksheets for Activity C in Section 11.3. When you are finished, return to this guide and continue on with Summarizing Your Progress.

What’s next?

Summarizing Your Progress

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Summarizing Your Progress You have now completed the learning activities for this module. Whether you are an experienced Youth Program Assistant or a new one, you have probably gained new information and developed new skills for working with families, schools and other community organizations. Summarizing your progress will give you a chance to analyze what you have learned. A summary sheet has been provided in the Skill Building Journal to help you do this. Your final step in this module is to complete the knowledge and competency assessments. Let your trainer know when you are ready to schedule them. After you have successfully completed both assessments, you will be ready to start a new module. Congratulations on your progress so far.

What’s next? Go to the Skill Building Journal and complete Summarizing Your Progress in Section 11.3.

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