Create Your Big Life Revolution

Copyright 2014, Shirley Billson Limited

10 Ways to Get What You Want (Without naffing people off)

Trust me when I say I am an expert in knowing how to piss people off.

I could have won multiple sequential world records in it, had that been an event on

offer. However, I have learned!

And I want to share my top tips with you. You can use these tips in relationships with

partners, children, employees, colleagues and bosses! It works a treat.

…so here goes:

1. Tell people EVERY time they do something you like or value and let them know

how good at it you think they are. (They will automatically do more of it without

nagging or cajoling – as long as you praise with heartfelt meaning!).

2. Stop telling people what NOT to do and what you DON’T want. You’ll just get

more of it!

3. Let go of the ‘they should have known that needed doing/I wanted that/that was

important’ and follow step 4.

4. Clearly, calmly and directly ask for exactly what you want – without whinging,

whining, using a silly voice. (Hint: this is especially powerful with men. They

expect – and respond to - clear communication).

Create Your Big Life Revolution

Copyright 2014, Shirley Billson Limited

5. Don’t underplay what you want (like the size of your salary, fee, the relationship,

the time commitment).

6. Say EXACTLY what you want and know what you would move to, but never agree

to something you know you don’t want from the outset. In other words, know

your boundaries and limits – and STICK to them.

7. If it seems like an easy thing to do, do something for someone else – and let

them know you’ve done it – but without any expectation of something in return,

even praise. You will gain such kudos.

8. Stop saying yes to things you genuinely don’t want to do, or don’t have time for

(limits and boundaries again).

9. When you say no, suggest an alternative way they could get what they want (if

you know one).

10. Resist giving an exasperated list of all the reasons why you are saying no!

Bonus tips

Let go of rationalising why you should stay in a certain job/relationship or place -

or why you shouldn’t let go of something because you’ve already invested so

much in it. Every time I have done this, life has been MUCH better on the other

side. If something keeps on not feeling right, it probably isn’t. If every cell of

your being resists where you are or who you are with – change it.

Do deals – and commit to honouring them 100%. For example, say you work

from home and your children are constantly interrupting you. Instead of using

Create Your Big Life Revolution

Copyright 2014, Shirley Billson Limited

distraction, bribes and non-specific promises (“I’ll play with you later”), commit

to specific agreed outcomes…e.g. “I’m really busy right now and must finish this

report/make these calls, etc. It will take me around x hours/minutes and I need

quiet to do it. If you can do x with y till (time agreed), then I will play that game

with you/drop you at your friends/take you shopping/etc.

You must be totally honest and totally reliable and stick to your agreements for

this to work; but do that – and everyone will feel happier. Honest!

If you’d like to discuss ways you can work with me, drop me an email:

shirley@shirleybillson.com