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MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE GUIDE

Oct 27 2013 - Nov 10 2013 l Issue #210 l w

ww

.infusion.ae l EST 2005

A Note From The Editor Editor-in-chief:Talal Budebs

Managing Partner:Charl Chakacharlchaka@infusion.ae

Editor:Andy Buchanandy@infusion.ae

Sales Director:Vip PatelVip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712

Contributors:Nthayi Tshehle, GarethIsOnIt, Richard Perez, Brian Welsh, David Newsum, Pan-Arabia Enquirer Design:Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay

Grown-up stuff:Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, LLC PO Box 53443 – Dubai, UAE

Contact us:Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098

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I was lucky enough to get a phone interview with Niles Rodgers this week, and aside from the fact he’s sold 233 million records and worked with virtually everyone in the business, it was his dedication and hard work that stood out.

I’m not recommending anyone gets his 3 hours of sleep a night, but if you want to be the best, you have to sacrifice, you have to dedicate your energy and being. And looking at the get-rich, celebrity-spawn DJ culture of today, it’s not always obvious that hard work, or even work, has been involved. Hard work is trying 100 times, and succeeding just once, so for anyone looking to get their first leg up in the industry, keep at it, keep going, the door will open soon enough. That’s enough spirituality from Dalai Buchan this issue, read on for more enlightening (and not so enlightening) material…

Andy

LookingBACKRetrospective on what’s been happening in our world.

> What We Did

> Say What?

> Photo Gallery

What we did

Despite the crowd competition that any Sandance will provide, many of Dubai’s proper house and techno heads waited in anticipation for the Groove on the Grass season 2 kick off. In just a short space of time, the event has gained many fans thanks to their unique golf club location and excellent bookings (the epic Damian Lazarus party last year was a particular highlight). Importantly, it’s a home-grown event that hasn’t got any Ibiza tie-ins, shiny sports cars outside or expensive vodka tables. It’s as close to a proper Dubai rave as you’ll ever find. And they deserve a lot of props for that. Season 2 has brought some changes, including a bigger location, a second arena and a 3 headliner set up, with DJ Koze joined by Droog and Steve Bug. Sadly the outdoor sound system/volume didn’t quite do justice to the crowd, and hopefully a bit more surround sound at the next event. One big plus was the indoor arena. It seems the GOTG team have unearthed a gem of a raving venue here, the low ceiling and simple boxy layout has all the vital ingredients for a truly awesome room, with DJ Koze dropping a trademark leftfield house set. So here’s hoping the next party can bring even more people together, pump up the volume a little bit more and continue to have everyone grooving on the grass just as hard as they did last year. GarethisOnit

GRoove on the GRaSS @ EMIRATES GOLF COURSE

Looking Back

A good teacher is one who both makes the lesson fun but also instills what they convey without the student even realising. With this in mind, Dasha Rush delivered an absolute master class in techno and in DJing. Covering a broad spectrum from minimal, abstract Berlin stuff to Millsian pounders, the serene Russian was composed and confident as she pushed and pushed in whatever direction she was going at the time. When critical mass was met and it felt like it couldn’t go any further, on came the release valve that would offer respite from the onslaught. The crowd’s reaction to this? Total euphoria. The symbiosis of DJ and crowd, the call and response of energy and jubilance, culminated in a full and extremely happy dance floor right up to when the lights went on. The real bench mark for Dubai clubbing is currently being set in a dark basement in Al Barsha. - Brian Welsh

DaSha RuSh, analoGue RoomS, the Q, al BaRSha

For those lucky enough to be at the Dek on 8 for the Mi Casa Dubai debut, you witnessed something special. Not only did the 4-piece band get mobbed as they walked towards the stage to start their organic, funk-laden house set, but the front rows were sardine-packed with hordes of screaming girls. Which isn’t that surprising, as with a hit-heavy set list including ‘Chica’ and ‘La Vida,’ Mi Casa delivered a pheromone raising set that was as smooth as JSomething’s Timberlake-esque vocals. From there, it was easy for Ralf Gum to follow suit, and when he dropped his own track, ‘Take Me To My Love,’ the venue did a collective swoon. Magic.

HOUSE OF AFRIKA FULL MOON FEAT. mi CaSa & Ralf Gum @ DEK ON 8

Looking Back

It’s been a double bad week for a friend of mine.his thai wife just died from prostate cancer.

Redfoo (singer with novelty dance troupe LMFAO) has been requesting his own songs at Sydney’s Beach Haus. The DJ refused.

Just follow this account, it’s a little bit genius.

twitter.com/DJsComplaining

the name game

The new Chase and Status single, ‘Count On Me’, smashed in to the charts at number five last week, with huge airplay from Radio 1. Music industry bods always say that Radio 1 play is crucial to a single’s success so congratulations to the band for getting the station’s seal of approval. Although perhaps having Radio 1 big cheese, Zane Lowe, as the song’s co-writer might have helped. FYI: Zane and Chase and Statushave the same management.

friends in high places

old jokes home

Douche watch…

Feel old and out of date? Then don’t look at the new DJ Mag Top 100 chart as you probably won’t have a clue who any of DJs with appalling names are… No. 34 – Angerfist (pictured) No. 50 – Zatox No.83 – Wasted Penguinz No.86 – Da Tweekaz

Short and tweet

Cavalli Club

Globalfunk feat. Goldie @ The Music Room

Groove on the Grass@ Emirates Golf Course

Jay Sean @ Chi Domeland

Sandance feat. the Killers@ Atlantis

Thursday 21st NovemberSupport from MACH4 B2B KYMERA , Charl Chaka, AEON, MC Ollywood & MC Prit.Free entrance for privilege card holders from 9-10pm. AED 100 for everyone else from 9pm onwards. +21.

PRESENTS

V R e c o r d i n g s , U K

FT

For reservations call 056 799 6335 @InfusionMag I @globalfunkdxb facebook.com/infusionmagazine facebook.com/globalfunkDXB facebook.com/themusicroom

MC MOOSE

JUMPING JACK FROST

LookingFORWARDWhere we filter out the best things that are coming your way...

> local news

> Cover Story

> it's a Knock out

> fright night

> the Secret lives of DJs

Local news

IT’S BEEN THE homegrown club hit of the last year, with a packed out dancefloor at the Media One Hotel and some of the freshest house and African-tinged house known to clubbing man. And aside from the excellent residents in Just Lance, Afroboogie, Nthayi and Charl Chaka, House of Afrika has confirmed some of the African continent’s best DJs and producers for their winter line up. With Mi Casa's legendary gig still ringing in our ears, November features 2lani, one of South Africa’s finest deep house Djs on the 8th, while lady lea is no stranger to Dubai, having packed out venues across the city and arrives on November 22. As the Chemical Brothers once wisely said, it began in Afrikaaaaaaaa…

mike Skinner, the Streets main man, might have knocked his garage-come-pop band on the head, but he’s still a very much in demand man, with production credits, a brand new band – The D.O.P – while he’s also been turning his hand very adeptly to DJing. Which is where we find him in Dubai on friday november 1, as he headlines at the brand new Superheroes night at the Tamanya Terrace, promising an all encompassing night of bass and house music. Ticket cost Dhs100, and it all kicks off from 6pm.

houSe of afRiKa LINE UP REVEALED

SuPeRheRoeS GETS STREETS-WISE

houSe of afRiKa LINE UP REVEALED

Looking forward

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After the stellar launch party featuring James ‘Tech wizard’ Zabiela, Nasimi have announced their next big name headliner, with German brothers tiefschwarz tasked with getting the sand dancers moving. With their monstrous electro rework of Spektrum’s ‘Kinda New’ announcing them on the scene, the German duo have become an in-demand duo, with remixes for Depeche Mode,

Madonna and Roxy Music, while they were also chosen to mix one of the prestigious Watergate CDs. It all takes place at Nasimi on friday november 8, with tickets Dhs150 after 7pm.

After a hectic post-Ramadan period when new clubs opened up on a seemingly weekly basis, we have another couple of brand new venues to tell you about. First up is fleur, a high concept art club that’s opened at the Radisson Royal on Sheikh Zayed Road. Offering a trio of live singers and dancers,a Mediterranean menu, alongside an Arabic and RnB soundtrack, it opens on Thursday November 7 with Shaya,

a French finalist on The Voice, one of the main stars. At the other end of town, the Story Rooftop has just opened in Media City, a panoramic sky bar decked out with cool art and a Peruvian menu. And with audiotonic supplying the weekly Thursday tunes, we've got high hopes for this new venue.

BRotheRS GONNA WORK IT OUT

neW CluB OPENINGS

aDiDaS GetS oRiGinaladidas Originals have teamed up with the Younique team to bring you an all singing, all dancing event on Friday november 8, once more turning the Media City car park into an allmighty rave. Run DMC DJ Scratch headlines alongside BFG and Fever, while local support comes from Hollaphonic, Rone Jaxx and Soulninja, while there will be live art from Mel Pickup, Sya and Steffi Bow and an indoor mini skate park, including a skate rail. And wear adidas originals and you get free entry from 6pm.

Looking forward

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Eat or collect at our restaurant. Find us at Shop 18, Wasl Square, (opposite Safa Park) Al Wasl Road, Dubai.

Call 800 SUSHI (78744) or visit chezshushi.com

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Congratulations to the Groove on the Grass crew who

not only more than held their own going head to head with Sandance, but threw down a cracking open air techno party, more please!

Winter TV is back, with new series of Eastbound and Down, The Walking Dead, Homeland, New Girl and more. Breaking Bad who?

Mi Casa rocked it at our Full Moon House of Afrika special, watch out for this South African trio!

We’re getting our Movember on this year, and heading down to Bidibondi on November 1 to get a free professional clean shave in anticipation.

Cheapskates. Good things don’t normally come for free, but sometimes the good stuff does cost a little, so dig deep or don’t bother coming.

DJ and artist agencies that charge 'Dubai' fees, that usually involve an extra zero or two.

The chronic lack of change in this city, why else are we always asked if we have Dhs1 when we buy something?!

Looking forward

RumouRSSandance have finalized their November 15 event, with Basement Jaxx playing live alongside Chic, Jamiroquai and Rudimental, while DJ support comes from Laidback Luke, Martin Solveig and Richard Durand. Bigger than big!

The I Am Hardwell tour is set to hit Dubai early next year.

MJ Cole is set to be confirmed at one Dubai party towards the end of this year.

The Wanted have been added to the Jazz Festival line up for next February.

Attention all air guitar heroes in Dubai: Europe, the Swedish band behind ‘The Final Countdown’ and countless other soft rockers, are hitting Dubai on

November 22. Ahead of that gig alongside Ascendant, we spoke to their local support band on the night, the

mighty Boxtones, to find out how they’ll be tackling one of their biggest gigs.

Congratulations on the warm up gig, you’ve had a pretty good few months winning the Rolling Stone competition as well… Europe will be awesome. We are all really looking forward to that show. And yeah, The Rolling Stone award is a really great achievement, and we are so proud of winning it. It has opened a tonne of doors for us,

and the phone hasn’t stopped ringing ever since.

You’ve started your own Boxtones Company, and really made your band official – what led you to making that move? There are a lot of musicians in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, hell the UAE in general. A lot of them, if not all of them have day jobs.

This is our day job. This is our night job. This is full time, and it shows – we are very professional in our approach to clients, to events and to all the walks of a musician’s life in the Middle East. The company allows us to talk to sponsors, set up events of our own, perform anywhere in the region without visa problems, and do business with other companies independently - to name a few things. The main thing about The Boxtones is, what you see and hear is what you get. WE are the band, and WE are the business. (Sounds pretty arrogant, but we work hard for it!)

how hard is it for bands to break out from the cover band mold in Dubai? A lot of press lately has been getting the band

and what we do wrong (it’s mostly because they don’t ask us first before publishing). They all think we are strictly a covers band when we also write, record and perform our own material. That’s why we won the Rolling Stone Street to Stage trophy besides the massive support from our fans! To break out, you need to work your ass off… all of the time. You need to keep your act in the public eye. You need to keep gigging wherever and whenever you can. Mostly, you have to love what you’re doing, and when that stops, so should you…

and what’s the next step for the Boxtones? Releasing our new album, “In The Pockets of Clowns” in November is number one priority. We’ve worked very hard, day and night to make this the best sounding album, which will push us even harder to create musical masterpieces on the next album.

any ideas what will be on the set list for the europe warm up? It will be our own stuff for sure. The tunes we played on the Grand Final at Hard Rock Café for Rolling Stone, Sony and Virgin will definitely be on the list. We are very close to completing the album, and we have 9 tracks on it, and we will probably end up playing them all.

You’ve done a lot of corporate work as a band, are gigs like this the light at the end of the tunnel? You never stop gigging. We never stop working. There is not really a light so much as there is the next big thing. If you have conquered the world (much like Metallica has) – even then they are looking for the next project, or the next thing to do. It’s the same with us. Until you can’t do it anymore, we will be right up there, pushing ourselves for the next big thing.

how long has the band been together, and what unites you all musically? We formed in 2007 as a covers band. We performed all over the world, in all the great venues across the Middle East and Asia. Dubai is our favourite. There is so much going on here, it’s hard to keep up. Our business contacts number in the thousands now, and everyone will help you wherever they can. Musically, we are tied together by the rock element. Everyone in the band has his or her own influences, but we all love a good rock song! I think we have a good following because we all lean towards rock as a genre.

Europe, The Boxtones and Ascendant, Friday November 22, Dubai Tennis Stadium, Garhoud, tickets from Dhs200, booking@mpremiere.com, show starts 8pm.

the BoXtoneS

It’s a knock outIt’s a knock out

It’s tough to think of a man who’s taken more punches – literally and

metaphorically – than Mike Tyson. From ear-biting rampages to drug and alcohol

black outs, he’s surfed the highs and lows that the heavyweight life has to offer. And he’s now taking his story to

the stage, with a show produced by the legendary Spike Lee. We spoke to the big bruiser ahead of his 3 night run in

Dubai to find out more…

Welcome to the city – what do you know about the city (Dubai)? I know that it’s the, or one of the, fastest growing cities in the world and that the largest building in the world is in Dubai (Burj Khalifa). I also know Emiratis receive a free education, which is pretty cool and that 85% of the city is composed of foreigners.

Congratulations on the show – what doubts did you have when first launched it? Thank you. I didn’t have any doubts about doing the show. This was something I wanted to do and was inspired to do so after watching Chaz Palminteri’s one-man show “A Bronx Tale”. It was a challenge though, being so open about my life on stage. But I love a challenge and I’m glad I did this. I love performing at this stage in my life.

and how did Spike lee get involved, and what did he teach you? Spike Lee called me right after I just did a two-week run of my one-man show in Las Vegas. Right after the show commenced, I was headed to Poland to shoot a

commercial for Black Energy drink. Spike called me and said his colleague saw the show and thought it was phenomenal. He said he wanted to bring the show to Broadway. My wife and I were so happy. We envisioned touring the show for a couple of years and eventually making it to Broadway. So to do the show for two weeks and have this opportunity was just a great opportunity. a lot of people see public speaking like this as a form of therapy – is that how you approach it? I don’t approach it as therapy but I certainly see the benefits of it. I have always been an open book. Perhaps that is why I have stirred up so much raw emotion and at times controversy because I have never been afraid to speak my mind. However, this is the first time I personally speak about the headlines that would shape

people’s opinion about me for the good or the bad. I never took control in this kind of format and told people what I thought about the headlines. No one has heard my undisputed truth directly from me. There is something therapeutic about this process I suppose. What’s the hardest thing to talk about in the show? The death of my daughter Exodus. It’s just something I will never be at ease with talking about but she deserves for the world to know about her. and what gets the biggest laughs?Oh, wow, there are a lot of big laughs. My life plays out in a lot of funny scenarios. You just have to come and see it and tell me what you thought was the funniest part. The Mitch Green stories are pretty funny though.

if people are undecided on whether to come, what’s your knock out blow to convince them?

So many people that have come to my show have later told me that they hadn’t a clue what to expect and it was nothing like what they expected. They thought they were going to see a cliche rendition of a boxer trying to be a performer. But they left with feeling like they saw a true performance. My story is touching, telling and funny. Whether you love boxing or hate it, you will love my show. It’s not just for the men. Women love the show. There is something very identifiable about my stories that transcends gender and age.

Mike Tyson, The Undisputed Truth, World Trade Centre, November 6-9, tickets from Dhs195, tixbox.com

HALLOWEENPRESENTS

Thursday 31st October6-10pm Dr Chetty I 10-1am DJ Tom Clayton

1-3am Charl Chaka 6-10pm Dr Chetty I 10-1am DJ Tom Clayton

1-3am Charl Chaka

Thursday 31st October

WIN!!!CRANK

PACKAGEFREE 24-HRS STAY

IN MEDIA ONE HOTELFOR THE BEST

DRESSED!

FREE ENTRY I HAPPY HOUR 5PM-8PMSTRICTLY 21+ I FOR TABLE RESERVATIONS: RSVP@INFUSION.AE

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Has Halloween become a ghoulish Christmas, all sold out commercialism or is it a good

chance to don your fake Vampire teeth and indulge your inner 5 year old? Either way, it’s

come to dominate Dubai’s club land, with David Newsum – dressed as a slutty nun – arguing it’s a good thing, while Andy Buchan, in his usual jeans and t-shirt combo, steadfastly

refuses to get involved…

Whatever the Halloween equivalent of Scrooge is, I’m that man. Aside from some vicious rumours at university, dressing up has never been my thing. Dressing up is something kids should do, and perhaps something middle aged couples indulge in to re-light their flabby bellied love lives (intense shudder), but that’s about as far as things should be taken. Yet every year, Halloween – and the surrounding hype – has grown and grown into a Frankenstein-esque monster. There’s not even a choice now, Halloween is so big and overpowering that it’s slowly

andy Buchan

sucked up virtually every venue in town into its PVC meets Smurfs black hole. Checking on Facebook, my Holloween invites start on October 24 at Blue Marlin (Blue Marlin, is no where safe from this zombie invasion!), with dozens more over the next week, and I’m writing this a full 2 weeks before the actual event. And apart from a few crappy cobwebs and a particularly ugly greeter who’s been told to don a conical hat and magically become a witch, what sets them all apart? Greed. Pure, capitalistic, greed is good, lust for money. Spend a fortune on the best costumes (and we’re not talking about a roll of toilet paper wrapped around your head to create a zombie here), and you could possibly, perhaps

David newsum

just make the money back with a share of the Dhs30,000 prize money on offer at most venues. There’s no magic, there’s no soul, there’s no deeper meaning: clubs and bars get to play the ‘Monster Mash’ on endless loop while morons dressed up as Minions sweat like morons in a Minion costume and laugh outrageously – and more than a little hollowly – at the hilarious get ups, before heading home with nappy rash, chafed nipples and a Dhs3000 repair bill. In fact, if anything, Halloween is a very clever ruse between promoters and struggling fancy dress companies, who have developed a sickly symbiotic relationship and feed each other’s bank accounts. But where does it leave those who don’t belive in Trick’n’Treating beyond puberty? Nowhere, because the black magic has been cast so far and wide that anyone who doesn’t get involved is automatically a Scrooge, an outcast on a night when the outcasts are supposed to King. Something has gone very, very wrong indeed…

It’s that time of the year again when dressing up as a transvestite Transylvanian fiend is considered socially acceptable. When a women can pop out wearing a nymphomaniac nurse’s outfit looking like she’s just shared a moment with a chicken and Alice Cooper circa 1969. When looking

out onto Dubai’s dance floors you could take Sophie Ellis Bexter very literally. What’s not to love about Halloween (apart from trying to remove fake blood from your clothes for the next six months)? Most of the time Dubai's club land takes itself far too seriously for what ultimately should be a form of escapism from the drudgery of people’s mind-numbingly meaningless lives. Each Halloween people have to put effort into choosing their costume, getting their costume, spending time getting ready etc. Then, because of the effort they’ve put into the night everyone is already excited before they’ve necked there first Brain Hemorrhage shot or heard the first rendition of ‘Thriller’ for the evening. This is good. Halloween is also a great social leveler; last time I checked Dior didn’t do vampire outfits and so the richest person cannot simply buy his way to the top of costume table. The person willing to put in time and effort into the night will get the most from it. Models and bottles Halloween most certainly is not. This is a welcomed rarity in Dubai. Speaking from personal experience the last two Halloweens I’ve gone out dressed as a women. Don’t judge, I’ve got the tits for it and my legs look great in a dress. I

know this may have broken one or two social taboos (and maybe laws) in this country but the number of people (apart from the security who tried to kick me out of Nasimi) that laughed and smiled with me is what dressing up for Halloween is all about. It was a lot of fun for all involved and this ultimately, in its purest form, is what every evening should be about but so often isn’t in Dubai. Some guy even bought me a drink before he realised I had an Adams Apple the size of a fist. Not everyone in this world has the confidence of a cruise missile, people sometimes need an alter ego to hide behind, one they can blame if they do the social equivalent of blowing up a school full of disabled orphans. Throughout history people have hidden behind outfits to make their evenings more enjoyable; from masquerade balls of yesteryear to today’s pimps and hoes parties. People like to escape; to become something they’re not, or to let their naughty alter ego bubble to the surface without fear of retribution. For want of a less cheesy saying they want to literally “live the dream” even if that dream involves a plastic pitchfork and giant upturned collar Eric Cantona would be proud of. Halloween is the perfect excuse to do this. Now where’s my dress?

Djing – all glamour, Deadmau5 Twitter beefs and sold out gigs? Well, maybe, but for most of Dubai’s decknicians, it’s a part time gig, something they slot into their hectic life in between work, eating, sleeping and everything else. And first up in our behind-the-scenes look at DJs and promoters other lives is Something Big main man, dubstep and DnB fanatic Omar Shaker who’s an investment banker in the real world…

The secreT

lives of

DJs

What’S YouR DaY JoB?I work as an Investment Banker for a major international bank. Specifically I oversee the financing of mega multi-billion infrastructure projects such as airports, seaports, schools and hospitals.

anD What Do You Do at niGht?A lot of partying and socialising with friends plus of course ensuring that planning and execution of events at Something Big runs smoothly.

hoW DiD You Get into DJinG/PRomotinG, What inSPiReD You?Music has always been a way of life for me and seeing Drum & Bass acts in the late 90s such as Ed Rush & Optical, Ray Keith and Bad Company smash the floor to thousands of true heads is definitely what got me into DJing. Event promotion was a natural progression, as I wanted to be involved in the scene further still.

Do the SKillS fRom YouR full time JoB Come in hanDY foR YouR otheR JoB?Laughs… They should in theory but don’t in practice. I have a tendency to get overexcited and always go well over budget

for every event at Something Big. We have had a number of events with two or even three internationals when the turnout would be very similar using only one. I don’t care as I always want to give Something Big fans maximum value.

anD Do YouR fRienDS/ClientS at WoRK KnoW What You Do at the WeeKenD/at niGht?Yes they do and are extremely supportive. Some of them have even attended and enjoyed the music despite the underground nature of the sound!

hoW Do You JuGGle the time anD the eXtRa StReSSeS?Like a clown who’s life depended on it!

CoulD YouR PRomotinG/DJinG eveR BeCome a full time JoB?The opportunity is there but I don’t want to take it. Specifically with promotions at the moment I have total creative freedom to book whoever I want with no financial worry as my banking job pays the bills. If I depended on promotions then I would be forced to make safe bets when booking artists, which is boring and not what Something Big is about.

What’S the lonGeSt You’ve haD to WoRK StRaiGht, anD hoW manY CanS of ReD Bull DiD it taKe?Actually not as long as some people might think. Probably 18 hours, although such days are far and few in between (average day is 9 hours). In terms of Red Bull wouldn’t even begin to compete with the number that I consume at events/festivals which is a silly disgusting number.

haS YouR niGhtlife JoB eveR affeCteD What You Do DuRinG the DaY, eveR PoWeReD all the WaY thRouGh to the neXt DaY at WoRK?I am very disciplined in that work time is for work and personal time is for Something Big. That said though there have been a few occasions where I have gone straight from work to meet the international artists and then a 2 day drinking bender event ensures severe pain by Saturday afternoon!

Something Big feat. Kryptic Minds and Bifidus Aktif, Catwalk, Thursday November 7, Dhs100

facebook.com/SomethingBigDubai

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ON THE RADARON THE RADAR

NOVEMBEr 15Sandance feat. Jamiroquai/Chic, Atlantis

NOVEMBEr 15Alicia Keys, Media City Ampitheatre

NOVEMBEr 22Sunny Vibe Up feat. Craig Charles, Dusk Terrace

NOVEMBEr 22Sunny Vibe Up feat. Craig Charles, Dusk Terrace

PARTY GUIDEFor a full list of what’s on, please head to infusion.ae. Please submit your listings to andy@infusion.ae for possible inclusion.

NOVEMBEr 22House of Afrika feat. Lady Lea

DECEMBEr 6 Infusion We Are 8 feat. Africa Bambaataa and Josh Wink

DECEMBEr 13Creamfields, Abu Dhabi

FEBrUAry 14 redfest feat. The Lumineers

FEBrUAry 14 Dubai Jazz Festival feat. Jamie Cullum

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MonDAy 28

infuSion PiCK! THE FRIDGE CONCERT SERIES, SINGER/SONGWRITER SHOWCASE Some of the region’s most talented artists perform live on stage. 8pm, Dhs50.

CluB ClaSSiCS, BouDoiR All the classic house and electro cuts courtesy of DJ Destroyer. 10pm-3am.

hiP hoP monDaYS, CiRQue Du SoiR Bustling early-week party with excellent hip hop vibes from start to finish courtesy of DJ Bliss. 10pm-3am.

inDuStRY niGht, Xl BeaCh CluB 50% discount for industry people, with free entry for couples and ladies all night. 7pm-3am.

maniC monDaYS, ZinC Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pm-midnight happy hour. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.

thRive in GoeS PinK, DeK on 8 A Breast Cancer awareness event, with fashion, art, graffiti, comedy and give aways on the night. 7pm-1am.

TuesDAy 29B:luSh, meDia one 4 free drinks for ladies, with Da Sendri dropping funk, soul, disco and house. 7-10pm, free.

BaRaSti Hugely popular ladies night, with a Dhs50 entrance fee getting you free flowing bubbly all night. 6pm-late, Dhs50.

CiRQue loveS funKY houSe, CiRQue le SoiR Sean Finn headlines this night dedicated to the finest funky house. 10pm-3am.

en voGue, aRmani PRive Darko De Jan takes control of this high class ladies night, with complimentary mojitos until 1am for ladies. 10pm-3am.

PRettY little SinGeRS, viP RoomA themed karaoke night, with complimentary cocktails and canapés for ladies from 9-12.

WeDnesDAy 30DiamonD WeDneSDaYS, Xl BeaCh CluB Radio 1’s Brooklyn and DJ Shero on the urban soundtrack, with free Diamond cocktails for ladies until 1am. 9pm-late. Weekly.

the ultimate laDieS niGht, ZinC One of the most popular ladies nights in town, with free bubbly for ladies before

1am, and house, electro and hip hop. 10pm-late. Weekly. Ladies free, men Dhs75 after midnight. Weekly.

inDuStRY niGht, moviDa DJ Mitchell and DJ Nick Waters play back to back at this free entry Industry night. 11pm-3am. Weekly.

noBu 5th BiRthDaY, atlantiS The esteemed restaurant turns 5, with resident DJ Smokingroove in charge of the deep house birthday tunes. 10pm, Dhs595.

ThursDAy 312liv, Palm Sofitel The 10,000 square foot, 3 level club with an impressive LED light set up plays pop, house and Top 40. 10pm-3am. Weekly, Thursday and Friday.

analoG Room, Q unDeRGRounD All things electronic, at this cult weekly Thursday night spot. 9pm-3am, Dhs75. Weekly.

BliSS on funK, BliSS lounGe Smokingroove headlines dropping jackin’ tech house, with Alex Amoralez on support. 8pm-3am.

Boo, DeK on 8Tom Clayton and Charl Chaka drop ‘Thriller’ beats, plus dressing up prizes. 4pm-3am, free.

BouDoiR Free shots for ladies until 1am, and commercial RnB and house. 10pm-3am. Weekly. Conan manCheSteR, loCa Foot-tapping funk, soul and rock and roll from Conan Liquid. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

DeeP CRateS, CaSa latina Popular vinyl-friendly hip hop, funk and soul night. 10pm-3am, free, free wine for ladies, 10-12. Weekly.

halloWeen, atlantiS BeaCh A monster Dhs30,000 is up for grabs for the best costumes, with ghoulish tunes from Tim Cheddar and Soulninja. Dhs100 after 9pm, 7pm-2am.

halloWeen, iRiSh villaGe The Maple Jacks and DJ Marky Mark supply the tunes with prizes for the best-dressed and Halloween games. 6pm-late, free.

JamRoCK halloWeen SuBlime Calypso, dub, reggae and urban from Sir Taz and DJ Crown Prince, with table prizes for the best dressed. 10pm-3am, ladies free before midnight.

SoCio, DeK on 8 A brand new post-work night with Dan Chadwick, Jonny Thornhill and more on rotation, dropping funk, disco and house. 5pm-2am.

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FriDAy 1+971, manSionNew EDM focused night, with Nitesh on the decks. 10pm-3am.

aKon, Cavalli CluB The big name RnB and hip hop star returns to Dubai, with a headlining show at Cavalli. 7pm-3am.

aRmaDa niGht feat. PRotoCultuRe anD aleXanDeR PoPov, Xl BeaCh CluB Hands-in-the-air trance sounds from the long-running label. 3pm-3am, Dhs100. Weekly.

infuSion PiCK! AUDIO TONIC FEAT.HOT SINCE 82 & THE FREESTYLERS, 360 The hottest man on the house market returns, with Breakin’ Even downstairs with the ‘Push It Up’ Freestylers duo. 4pm-3am, free.

BRunCh Beat SeSSion, BahRi BaR Ambient and chilled out grooves from Jeli Maniago. 4-8pm. Weekly.

Blue maRlin feat. CiRColoCo With Dan GhenaCia, DYeD SounDoRomAnother Ibiza-centric weekend at the Ghantoot beach club, with DC10 favourites Ghenacia and Soundorom headlining. 11am-11pm, reservation@bluemarlinibiza-uae.com

infuSion PiCK! DROP DREAD FEAT. TIPPA IRIE AND MUNGO HI FIS, CASA LATINA More reggae and dub action as Brixton reggae singer Tippa Irie performs live, with the Deep Crates Cartel on support. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

fReaKS anD BeatS, CiRQue Du SoiR Nick Tohme heads up this weekly night, where entertainment is at the fore. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

ffRiDaY, moviDa Residents Nick Waters and Mitchell are joined by guests at this high end Sheikh Zayed Road club. 11pm-3am. Weekly.

folloW fRiDaY, vanitY (al muRooJ Rotana) Urban tunes courtesy of the Real Flava DJs. 10pm-3am.

holY noiSe halloWeen niGht, RatSKY, holiDaY inn BuR DuBai Nervecell, Tartarus and Maticrust play live, with support from DJ Storm. 7pm-3am, Dhs70.

houSe of afRiKa, DeK on 8 More Afro-tech at this hugely popular weekly house night. 4pm-3am, free.

JaY Z, Du aRena The Formula 1 concerts begin, with the none-bigger hip hop talents of Mr Jay Z. 7pm, race holders only, tickets from Dhs395 thinkflash.ae

maSSive uRBan fRiDaYS, SenSation Shef Codes and friends hold it down with urban tunes all night. 10.30p-3am, strict dress code no trainers or flip flops. Weekly.

movemBeR, BiDiBonDi It’s time to flex your moustache muscles, as Movember returns, raising awareness for men’s health issues, with Bidibondi offerin a Clean Shave event to kickstart the moustache madness. 10am-1am.

neveR Get out the Boat, JeBel ali Jixo and Danz join resident Matthew Charles on this bi-monthly boat party. 1.30-6pm, guestlist only via info@wearedumm.com.

infuSion PiCK! SUPERHEROES FT. MIKE SKINNER, TAMANYA TERRACE The Streets star, and record label mogul turns to DJing, promising a bass heavy set with support from Kasparov and Under The Moon. 6pm-2am, Dhs100.

no.1 fRiDaYS, n’DulGe Urban, hip hop, dubstep and EDM from this popular long-running night. 10pm-3am, ladies free before 11pm, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

sATurDAy 2411, PeoPle BY CRYStal DJ Bliss and friends are back closing the weekend in style with their urban, hip

hop mashup, this time with a Caps’n’Kicks theme. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

aBRi anD the funK RaDiuS, SuBlime One of the funkiest bands in town play originals and covers at the WTC venue. 9pm-late. Weekly.

BaleaRiC, DeK on 8All day, early evening party, with Balearic classics on rotation, with brunch 2-6pm, and happy hour 5-8pm. 2pm-10pm, Dhs240 for brunch. Weekly.

Blue maRlin SatuRDaY BRunChWind down your weekend with live cooking stations and free flowing Spanish sangria. Weekly. 1pm-5.30pm, Dhs240-285, reservation@bluemarlinibiza-uae.com

GooDlife, ShimmeRS lounGe (mina a Salam) The perfect end to the weekend, with Buff Wise dropping a Balearic mix of chill out, electronica, funk, soul, disco and more. 4pm-late, free. Weekly.

homeGRoWn, 360 Funk and soul through to house vibes with Conan Liquid and Tristan Bain, with a 6-8pm happy hour. 6pm-3am, free. muSe, Du aRena The second night of post-racing concerts features the ‘Supermassive Black Hole’ rockers Muse. 7pm, race holders only, tickets from Dhs395 thinkflash.ae

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infuSion PiCK! DEPECHE MODE, DU ARENAAnd closing the post-Formula 1 concerts is pivotal UK electro rock band Depeche Mode, who’ll be dropping two hours of stone solid classics. 7pm, race holders only, tickets from Dhs395 thinkflash.ae

MonDAy 4the fRiDGe ConCeRt SeRieS, Kamal muSallamThe hugely talented Arabic Fusion artist plays his oud live, alongside Flamenco fusion artist Karen Lugo. 8pm, Dhs50.

WeDnesDAy 6BliSS on DefeCteD, BliSS lounGe The JBR beach side bar gets the Defected Records crew in town for an official label night. 8pm-3am.

infuSion PiCK! MIKE TYSON, THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH, WORLD TRADE CENTRE The one time heavyweight bruiser takes to the stage, recounting his life and the various ups and downs. 8pm, Dhs195.

infuSion maGaZine eXPeRienCe feat. PaDDY fReefoRm, 360One of our favourite UK DJs

returns for another house masterclass, with support from Charl Chaka. 6pm-3am.

ThursDAy 7lauGhteR faCtoRY, movenPiCK hotel, JBRScott Carpuro, Prince Abdi and Steve Gribbin are in charge of the laughs at this long running, excellent night. 8pm, Dhs140.

miKe tYSon, the unDiSPuteD tRuth, WoRlD tRaDe CentRe The one time heavyweight bruiser takes to the stage, recounting his life and the various ups and downs. 6 and 10pm, Dhs195.

SomethinG BiG feat. KRYPtiC minDS, CatWalK Another slamming session of DnB and dubstep, as Kryptic Minds are joined by Bifidus, one of Europe’s up and coming DJs. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

FriDAy 8auDio toniC native, 360 Conan Manchester kicks off proceedings for the brunch, before Danny Kwang and Mr Mr do the honours downstairs, with JC, Rich Showell and Russ Cooper dropping deep, tech house upstairs. 4pm-3am, free.

lauGhteR faCtoRY, movenPiCK hotel, JBRScott Carpuro, Prince Abdi and Steve Gribbin are in charge of the laughs at this long running, excellent night. 8pm, Dhs140.

PARTY GUIDEinfuSion PiCK! ADIDAS ORIGINALS PRESENTS UNITE ALL ORIGINALS, P7 CAR PARK, MEDIA ONE HOTEL The legendary car park parties return, with DJ Scratch joined by Hollaphonic and more. 6pm-2am, Dhs100 after 8pm, free if you wear adidas Originals.

miKe tYSon, the unDiSPuteD tRuth, WoRlD tRaDe CentRe The one time heavyweight bruiser takes to the stage, recounting his life and the various ups and downs. 6 and 10pm, Dhs195. Repeated Saturday.

infuSion PiCK! PLUS MINUS FEAT. TIEFSCHWARZ, NASIMI Another big beach booking, as deep house duo Tiefschwarz headline, with local support. 7pm-3am, Dhs150.

RoCK nation feat. S.t.e.l.l.a.R, muSiC RoomA 12 artist line up, with everything from acoustic rock to thrash metal on the bill. 7pm, Dhs70.

WonDeRlanD fRiDaYS, Xl BeaCh CluB Greg Stainer and DJ Rudy K drop pool side beats at this fancy dress, Alice in Wonderland themed party. 3pm-3am, Dhs100 for men.

infuSion PiCK! HOUSE OF AFRIKA FEAT 2LANI, DEK ON 8 Another African tinged house music showdown, with 2Lani The Warrior headlining from South Africa. 4pm-3am, free.

sATurDAy 9SatuRDaY ShoWCaSe, 360 Some of the best local DJs and live acts soundtrack the setting sun, and close the weekend in style. 6pm-late, free.

infuSion PiCK! THIS IS VINYL, DUCTAC A vinyl only affair with various stalls selling hard to find raritites, with several DJ sets during the day. Midday-7pm.

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Music news...haRDWell DOES IT THE EASY WAY

maCCa TRIES HIS HAND AT BUSKING

THE KING IS DEAD, long live the King, as another DJ is crowned the winner of the DJ magazine top 100 poll, otherwise known as who has the biggest marketing budget. And David Guetta’s reign at the top didn’t last long, as Dutch DJ, and Tiesto’s young protégé, hardwell has been named as the most popular DJ in the universe, as well as the youngest ever winner of the award. The old school are still represented with Armin Van Buuren, Tiesto and Guetta in the Top 10, with Deadmau5 and Daft Punk just behind, but this year’s poll is a who’s who of the EDM scene, with Avicii, Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike, Nicky Romero, Steve Aoki, Afrojack and Dash Berlin all commanding spots in the Top 10. What does it all mean? Not a great deal, but you’ll no doubt be seeing a lot more of those names in Dubai soon. Check out the full results here: djmag.com/top100.

As the sole remaining Beatle (sorry, Ringo, you don’t really count any more), there’s a lot of pressure on Paul mcCartney’s head. But not that you’d know it as Macca, at the pensionable age of 71, still has the lust for life of a teenager. And he proved it recently as he wowed crowds at Covent Garden with an impromptu busking gig. In fairness, he did alert fans with a typically groovy Tweet – ‘I’m getting ready to pop up in Covent Garden at 1pm today. Oh baby!’ – but there were still thousands of fans there to hear him run through material from his new album.

muSiC BiteS“So, that’s where the money goes.”

The Encore newsletter, a weekly entertain-ment title, reveals that Warners have just signed a ten year lease to pay $16M Per Year for new offices in ‘an ultra-expensive old skool power location’ in midtown Manhattan.

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Leading clubbing portal Ibiza-voice published another less than ecstatic assessment of Ibiza’s latest summer season this week, in which they declared ‘the striking truth is that Ibiza has closed its doors to new music’. “It would be fair to say that such thing as “the sound of Ibiza” hardly exists anymore,” Ibiza-voice added, “It resembles too much the sound of Beatport top 100.” Their report emerged just days after Beatport CEO Matt Adell blasted their own download charts declaring in a Twitter Q&A with customers. ‘Top 10 is based on what people buy,” said Matt, “Taste aside. if you DJ only the top 10 you’re a boring DJ.” He also responded interestingly when asked his views on the future of EDM. “EDM” is a genre-fad, Electronic Music is forever,” he suggested.

Like DJ Sneak and Deadmau5, Justin Bieber is never far away from controversy on our music news pages, and it’s his turn in the limelight this issue following a bare-chested brawl in a South Korean nightclub. EDM star Michael Woods was DJing at Eden when a shirtless Bieber stormed

the DJ booth with his entourage and demanded that the house DJ start playing hip hop. After Woods succinctly told him to ‘f*ck off’, Justin then decided to throw a punch at Michael Woods’ tour manager, before ducking behind his own guards. Woods, like a pro, then carried on his set, before the next DJ took over and started playing hip hop, where upon Bieber got back into the DJ booth and – still shirtless – started MCing over the top. The Priory awaits you young Bieber, the Priory awaits…

iBiZa-voiCe BLASTS BEATPORT BALEARIC

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MONSTER MIDDLE EAST Tel: +971.4.883.04.05 Email: support@monsterme.com www.beatsbydre.com

Album Reviews...RAVE. It’s a strong word, conjuring up days-long illegal parties in the early 90s, as well as misplaced journalistic enthusiasm (see nu-rave). It’s an evocative word, and one that Chase & Status look to bring to life with their third studio album. And while it might be a little disingenuous for two hugely successful producers behind beats for pop stars like Example and Rihanna to claim to be all about the rave (when they’re both too young to have experienced the 90s heyday), Brand New Machine is a powerful argument. Opener ‘International’ showcases their ultra modern blitzkrieg dubstep production, while the following track, ‘Count On Me’, is so in debt to the M25 rave scene, all it’s missing is a smiley t-shirt and a befuddled copper wondering what everyone is doing in a random field. From there, the London duo head to garage territory (‘Blk & Blu’), punishing trap (‘Machine Gun’) and album closing funk and soul (‘What Is Right’ featuring Nile Rodgers). And in doing so, they’ve ticked off virtually every dance genre that’s emerged since the rave revolution with serious style, proving they’re fully up to the task of keeping the rave spirit alive and kicking.

ChaSe & StatuS – BRanD neW maChine Drum and Bass/Dubstep/Electro I chaseandstatus.co.uk

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SOME ALBUMS RESONATE on their first listen. Stick on the Beatles’ White Album and if it doesn’t hit make you fall in love with music, then you clearly deserve to be David Guetta’s toilet seat in hell. But some take repeated listens to worm their way into your head, to reveal their inner beauty. Which is where we find Four Tet’s latest album. At first listen, it’s too glitchy, too hard, too random, and too awkward. But second, and third and fourth listens reveal a more sensitive side, and one that’s more club orientated than previous albums. With garage and rough house beats embedded from the start, it’s an album full of false starts, dead ends and sonic twists: ‘Kool FM’ starts off life as a bare bones beats and bass joint, before emerging as a breaks and MC heavy hitter, while ‘Aerial’ grows from a kaleidoscopic sound into a jazz-fuzzy freak out. But indulge these false starts, these dead ends and the album makes sense, as the free-form club tracks merge and evolve into one of his best albums yet.

fouR tet – Beautiful ReWinD House/Garage/Electronica I fourtet.net

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DJING ISN’T JUST about technical trickery, being able to do the behind-your-back monkey juggle scratch while throwing out gang signs, nor is it about playing the biggest and brashest tunes (nor, conversely, about playing the most obscure tunes you can find). DJing is first and foremost about tune selection. It’s about creating a sequence of music that flows, that energises, that pulses with pneumatic rhythm. And Charl’s second mix for South Africa record label Heads and Tails demonstrates his tune-spotting talents, as 25 deep and tech house numbers are deftly dropped into a two hour mix. Featuring cuts from Miguel Migs, Oliver $, Hector Couto and Hauswerks, there are enough established names to give the mix instant credibility, but the real heart of the mix is in its crate-digging depths, as 90s sounding house cuts from Tristan Da Cunha and Tom Flynn’s ‘Do You Like Bass’ give it real heart and soul – not to mention proper dancefloor vibes. Deftly moving from early doors deep house into more jackin’, funk-fried tech house territory, and all mixed live on CDJ 2000s, the follow up Odyssey mix is no frills DJing at its best, with the music front and central, and the party on the dancefloor.

ChaRl ChaKa – oDYSSeY volume 2 House, Deep House, Tech Housemixes.beatport.com/mix/odyssey-vol-2-mixed-by-charl-chaka/102256

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haim – DaYS aRe Gone Indie/Rock Haimtheband.com Being the next big thing clearly hasn’t done much harm for female US trio Haim. A power-pop trio raised on live music from a young age, they combine soft rock, pop rock and sultry elements of R&B to create a modern day Fleetwood Mac sound. Lead singles ‘Forever’ and ‘Falling’ are their radio-worthy calling cards, but this 11 track album is full of tracks that are as playful as the Haim ladies themselves.

KinGS of leon – meChaniCal Bull Indie/Rock kingsofleon.com On the verge of a breakdown, the Deep South brothers/cousin combo of Kings of Leon decided to take a break from touring the world and all the excesses associated with it. And those years off spent starting young families have done wonders, re-invigorating the band, once more giving their pop sound a punk power up. Their 6th album is full of interesting dynamics, with frenzied Stooge like rock (‘Don’t Matter’) sitting side by side with softly building stadium anthems like ‘Beautiful War.’ Strap in, and enjoy the ride.

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DJ

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eDm DJ and the Spin Dubai resident, Boris Jetski is more than just the best named James Bond DJ in the world…

www.facebook.com/clubbeats

one thing you might not know about me is… I’m a passionate entrepreneur, always looking for opportunities in multiple fields.

my worst ever job was… I’ve been fortunate enough to follow this simple piece of advice most of my life: “find something you love to do so much, you’d do it for free, then find somebody to pay you for it.” - DJ AM, R.I.P. I did also sell magazines over the phone for 2 months before I quit at the age of 16...

my favorite ever record is... The Prodigy – Breathe.

DJing is much like... Sex, only you are doing it with everyone in the club, at the same time!

Dubai’s clubbing scene is... Always one step behind. Music goes in cycles and Dubai is still into RnB/HipHop when the rest of the world is riding the EDM wave.

i’m really proud of... How much I’ve accomplished in life despite my age.

What track could you drop in every set? House of Pain - Jump Around. Works wonders as a quick hitter even in EDM sets.

i can’t live without... Music? Too cliché? Let’s just say I’m a survivor.

my biggest DJ achievement to date is... How far I’ve made it in Dubai relying solely on my DJ skills. I moved here only 2 years ago without any connections or pre-arranged gigs / residencies, and now I’m getting bookings on a regular basis.

if you could DJ in any decade which would it be... 2020, Hopefully EDM has landed Dubai by then, maybe the World Expo hype does something good for our nightlife.

if i could go back-to-back with any other DJ it would be... Chuckie, talk about a party in the DJ booth! Love his energy and I think our styles would work well together!

soundcloud.com/borisjetskiacebook.com/BorisJetski

SubandrioPioneer DJ of the year, 2013

Amir Sharara soundcloud.com/amirsharara

DJ KirkCaramel Lounge

1. Slam The Door - Patrik Carrera (Subandrio Remix)2. Jamie Stevens - Forign Utopia (Subandrio Remix)3. One Dxb Aka Subandrio - Nature Calls (classic Drm & Bass Mix)4. Wippenberg - Drumster (original Mix)5. Subandrio - Dubai (original Mix)6. Guy J - Easy As Can Be (Subandrio & Nishan Lee Mix)7. Mattew Jay - Boreal Dust (original Mix)8. Colombo - Telequinesis (original Mix)9. Ruiz Sierra - The Grays (original Mix)10. Dadive - Casual Expansion (album Edit)

1. John Ashby - Kordz (Hady Tarek)2. Bob Sinclar - Summer Moonlight (A2A Remix)3. Tensnake feat. Fiora - See Right Through (Original Mix)4. Motez - Ride Roof Back (Club Edit)5. Green Velvet - Bigger than Prince (Hot Since 82 Remix)6. Sonic Future - Move Your Hips7. Thomas Langner - Little Things 8. David Penn - Rock N Rolla 9. Joris Voorn - Ringo (Original Mix)10. Amr Mohey - Killers Eye

1. Miguel Puente - Small Proposition (Mat.Joes Gangsign Remix) 2. Louie Fresco - New Hateration (MK Remix) 3. The Mekanism - Good For U 4. Karma Kid - In My Arms 5. Scott Diaz - This Vibe 6. Sonny Fodera, Wally Callerio - Everything 7. Seb Skalski feat Nick Sinckler - I Can’t Complain 8. Wattie Green - Gettin It 9. Ignacio Robles - Never Gonna Let You Go 10. Disclosure feat Keable - Voices

1. Audio - Headroom VIP 2. Camo & Krooked - All Night 3. Danny Byrd - Bad Boy (Back Again) 4. Zomboy - Terror Squad 5. Camo & Krooked - Rock Paper Scissors 6. Blacks - Gassed (Spooky Remix)7. Camo & Krooked - Journey Through Sound 8. Lung - Crystal Ball Gazing 9. Klangkarussell - Sonnentanz (feat. Will Heard) [Sun Don’t Shine / Jakwob Remix] 10. SLUGGERS - Rolex

DJ JABBassworx + 1Up Residentsoundcloud.com/J_A_B

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Finally, a humane (kinda) solution to your roach problem – strap a backpack to them, and turn them into your remote controlled bug. Using impulses sent through a Smartphone app, it can stimulate the bug’s antenna making it turn on command. The inventors claim it’s humane, but we’re not too sure many people would be too bothered about supergluing the electrodes to its head, or inserting a wire through it’s thorax. The kit is now available for $99, look out for a superbug invasion in your home soon!

WE ALL LIKE to savour that last mouthful of desert, but what happens when that last bit is cruelly denied to you? Well, one Czech diner, who’d been thrown out of a restaurant as it was past closing time, then returned shortly after, sliced a hole in the door with a chainsaw – yes, you read that correctly – before making his way to his table and his half-finished desert. He now faces up to a year in prison, with no sign of early profiterole, sorry parole, in the near future.

“My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.”

The immortal words of Winston Churchill, who recently won a public vote for the best put down in history.

KILLER CaKe

RoBoRoaCh

Looking Closer

Doha: Following a shocking expose into the abuse of migrant workers in Qatar printed in The Guardian recently, the gas-rich state has chosen to hit back, accusing the UK newspaper of exploiting its own journalists. In a statement released this afternoon, Qatari officials claimed that the newspaper was involved in the “gross mistreatment of its editorial staff,” many of whom, it asserted, “were living in squalid conditions”. “Over the years, this supposedly respectable broadsheet has increased its use of freelancers, many of whom are paid less than twenty-five English pence per word,” it claimed, adding that such writers had to “provide their own equipment and often risked severe back problems in later life through excessive hours spent hunched over a laptop”. Qatar also attacked the editing of the paper, which it claimed was unjustly aligned in the favour of breaking news and not for the benefit of its writers. “Sometimes, journalists will spend hours labouring over an article, which will then be pulled at the last minute by unscrupulous editors should a major news story come through, or sometimes edited down to a mere fraction of its original size, often with outrageous typos.” The statement concluded that alcohol abuse was “rampant” among The Guardian’s workforce.

The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is the Middle East’s premier source of satirical news. This means that it’s entirely made up and not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.

QataR aCCuSeS the GuaRDian of eXPloitinG JouRnaliStS

panarabiaenquirer.com

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Beat th e bulge

by Vip Patel

What’s the most important thing a DJ press photo should do?You should always try to incorporate the personality of the DJ’s style of music into the photographs. Check with the DJ what types of music he plays, what sort of style he has. Also make sure you consider the DJs own ideas for the shoot, but do tell him if he is way off mark.

DJing is just one part of being a success behind the decks – you have to market

and promote yourself well, and a large part of that is having some kick-ass press photos that represent your style. And one of the best in the business is Wesco Taubert, who’s taken press pics for DJ Bliss, Charl Chaka, rod Lee Winters and many, many more…

how important is finding a good location? and what’s a good location in Dubai, are obvious shots like the Burj or the beach a no no?I believe everything is possible, as long as you don’t get caught! The Burj Khalifa and other buildings require permits. I try and avoid those buildings, but if they happen to be in the picture, it’s hardly my fault.

Personally, I prefer cool and stylish locations such as

Satwa Creek and Bur Dubai. You won’t have any problems there.

Blue Steel poses – cool or not? how do

you get a natural feel?You need to bring feeling

into the shoot. This may be a little difficult in the beginning,

Beat th e bulge

but trust in the photographer really helps here.I am more the cool, fun guy, joking with my models to help them relax. Some colleagues work in a more dogged manner and take the job too seriously, which shows in their photographs…

Should props like decks, headphones etc be used?In the 90s, decks and headphones were acceptable or even cool, but nowadays, it’s a complete no no. The focus needs to be on the artist. Equipment can feature, as long as it’s in the background.

and what about if you take an action shot from a club, what should be considered?I avoid shooting in a club. That is more event photography and is the perogative of event photographers. We have some amazing event photographers here in Dubai such as Cindy Mellissa, Angela Baker, Kirill and so on. They do an excellent job and wonderful photographs. I prefer to stay out of it.

how important is the camera that’s used, can an iPhone camera work?I really would not recommend iPhone pictures for a press shoot. I do all mine with a Samsung S4 or a Nokia Lumix. Don’t worry, I was just joking. You really should avoid press photos with an iPhone, especially if they are Instagram’d, they really don’t come across as professional. Always get a professional with a good camera to do your press shoots for you.

any other advice people should be aware of?Well, don’t eat too much the night before the shoot… haha. Seriously, though, don’t save at the wrong end and hire a cheap photographer for your professional pictures, but do invest a little in a proper professional shoot. After all, your photos are representative of you and you would want your pictures to be cool and professional. And…don’t take pictures on the iPhone!

www.wescotaubert.com

Coolthis issue we pit two of the new residents from one of the

coolest joints in the uae, the o1ne Yas island club. Going head to head at this cool graffiti joint are Dimix and lil t…

DimiX vS lil t

have you ever used your name or fame to get out of trouble?I don’t usually get into trouble unless it’s with a cop or something. And he

sure doesn’t know my nickname so I think I lose on this question!

Though, fame helps me a lot to stay out of trouble: I take song requests!

It got me out of trouble but I never used it myself.

my nickname at school was?I’ve been DJing since the age of 14, so my nickname has been the same

since then: Dimix!T.

have you ever injured yourself at work?Not that I can remember! Hit my knee once while jumping in

the DJ booth at SKYBAR Beirutmy best claim to fame is…

To be down to earth, sociable and friendly with everybody, apart from

the cops (I just don’t like them!). I never claimed fame.

Describe your best track in 5 words…Words cannot describe the feeling. It gives me Goosebumps every time.

have you ever been arrested?Of course! I once took a Lifejacket out of the plane in London when I was on

my way to the States. Long story…No, and hopefully never.

Your answer to everything is… Chill. Maybe, I’ll tell you later.

tell us your best one-liner...

Life is what you make it. Live everyday like it’s going to be your last…

What’s the best insult you could give each other?

Hello!! (out loud, with an ironic smile).Just like this one :) We never insult each other.

The verdict: We just hope there aren’t any Five Oh reading Dimix’s answers, as despite his aversion to authority, he’s the winner. High fives all round.

MOVIE PREVIEWSThE FIFTh

ESTaTE

Yet another fine acting performance from Brit thespian Cumberbatch, as he plays the role of Julian Assange, and the fall out from the Wikileaks revelations. Classification: PG-15Director: Bill Condon Starring: Benedict Cumbertach, Daniel Bruhl, David Thewlis

Bad Grandpa Take one seven year old, one very grumpy, badly behaved grandpa (Knoxville) and plenty of outraged rednecks and Americans, and you have a belated follow up to the smash-and-grab Jackass series. Classification: PG 15Director: Jeff Tremaine Starring: Spike Jonze, Johnny Knoxville

MOVIE PREVIEWS

LaST VEgaS

Four long in the tooth child hood friends celebrate a bachelor party in Las Vegas for one last blow out, reliving their glory days in this heartwarming, funny and touching film. Classification: PG 13Director: Jon Turteltaub Starring: Robert De Niro, Robert Douglas, Morgan Freeman

DISCLAIMER: Film release schedules are subject to change, please check reelcinemas.ae, grandcinemas.com and voxcinemas.com for full schedules.

thor 2: the Dark World More hammer-swinging fun as Thor must face his greatest enemy yet, in this darker, grittier follow up to the Marvel comics all action original. Classification: PG 13Director: Christopher Yost Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman

OCTOBER 31

NOVEMBER 7

the angry monkeys’ views are his own, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of infusion magazine.

DJS ARE D*CKS DJs are d*cks, that’s an I, not a U by the way, they’re not small, pointless animals, usually with big bills attached (actually, they do sound quite similar…)

DJs are d*cks for several reasons. They automatically think they’re better than you. You’re in a club, and the artbiter of cool is who has the best music taste (or if you’re in Dubai, which douche has the biggest table and, conversely, the smallest d*ck). And ergo – or should that be ego – they’re automatically at the top of the d*ck food chain.

They’re the ultimate snob, they share their music but some even refuse to let people even know what they’re playing. They treat your requests with disdain (you just played a Whitney Houston remix, so was a Madonna request so out there you had to point and laugh?), and they believe their own press and paid-for social interaction to the point their swollen heads would struggle to pass beneath the DIFC arch. They ultimately think they’re gods, that their hunched back dedication to scouring Beatport instantly makes them a better person than you, the humble clubber. Faithless weren’t right, God isn’t a DJ, for what God would think it’s acceptable to drop a Rihanna remix into a ‘deep house set’...

Monkey Out...

2LANI THEWARRIOR

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