Family

An Intimate Look Into The

Erickson/Foster/Joyner/Foster-Adams/Kempton

Family

General ly, fami ly can be ident i f ied as

“networks o f people who share the i r l ives over

l ong per iods o f t ime bound by t ies o f marr iage ,

b lood , law, commitment , l egal o r o therwise ,

who cons ider themselves as fami ly and who

share a s igni f i cant h istory and ant i c ipated

future o f funct ioning as a fami ly” (Galv in , e t

al . , 2012 , p 8 ) .

For the purposes of this project, I will

explore my immediate family (husband

and children as well as that with my

parents and siblings).

All quotes and textual references uses text: Galvin,

K.L., Bylund, C.L., and Brommel, B.J. (2012).

Family Communication Cohesion and Change. 8th Ed.

Glenview, IL: Pearson Education, Inc.

A photo f rom Easter Sunday back in 1997 . In th is

pic ture conta ins members f rom both my mother and

fa ther ’s s ide o f the fami ly* . A l l aunts and unc les as

we l l as cous ins are present f rom both fami l ies . At th is

po int , however, there are a few members who are no

l onger part o f the “ fami ly” due to d ivorce .

*Photo is missing my mother’s parents

Foster Family: Annual trip to Funtown/Splashtown

My father’s parents, one of his brothers and most of the grandchildren

and great grandchildren. Also in this picture are two of my siblings

and their partners (one homosexual relationship and the other

bringing a child from a previous relationship to the family); my

cousin’s daughter and her half siblings; and my other uncle’s girlfriend

and her grandchildren.

This is demonstrative of the extended definition of “family”

Foster Family

To the left: my father,

and his brother’s, Uncle

Guy and Uncle Steve

To the right: my father’s

parents, Nana and Grampy

Erickson Family

Below in the back row: Uncle Dick,

Uncle Bob, and Uncle Donald

Middle: Mom, Aunts Cindy & Eileen

Front: Nana and Grampy

Above: My mother’s parents and most

of their grandchildren and great

grandchildren.

Family To the right: my mom

and dad

To the left: Missy “Squeezie”,

Mikie, Me, and Dawn (oldest

sister)

The Four of Us

&

Our Families

Joyners

Steve, Dawn and Addison

Fosters

Tara and Adrianna Thomas, Mikie,

Brady, Griffin, Michael and Meghan

Kemptons

Chris, Me, Logan and

Paycen

Foster-Adams

Steen and Squeezie

More of My “Family” Some members are b io log i ca l / lega l

and o thers are not

( there are s t i l l some not inc luded)

Level of Cohesion Cohesive

Connected

Level of Adaptability

Rigid Families Structured Flexibility Flexible Chaotic Families

FOSTER KEMPTON

While I grew up, as a Foster, in a very structured

environment, I find myself as a parent (Kempton

train), I am more of in the middle of structured and

flexible. Having young children contributes some to

this positioning.

Boundaries

Our family (with my parents and siblings as well we that

with my husband and children) preach and practice open

boundaries; flexibility, free flow of information and

exploration of differences have been and are encouraged.

Interdependence While growing up and even as adults who have started

our own families, there is still an interdependent.

While the degree of interdependence has decreased,

the change one member makes influences us all,

especially emotionally

Having a young family, with daughter 5 and 3 years of

age, our interdependence is very high. A bad mood or

rough day will impact all of our evenings

Creation of Communication Patterns Family Communication Rules

The communication rules

we were taught growing

up appropriate titles for

elders, what language was

appropriate to use and in

which environments, etc.

Unspoken rules between my siblings and I was one

of reliance and dependence. With my older

siblings’ responsibility of after school care, we

trusted and respected the role they had in our

lives; these relational rules are now more of a joke

to us all as adults.

Creation of Communication Patterns Family Communication Rules

Our regulative rules have, for the most part

remained in tack; such rules keeping everyone in

the loop with one another’s life activities.

Growing up,

constitutive

rules such as

demonstration of

affection were

taught through

teasing or

rough-housing

with one

another.

Creation of Communication Patterns Family Secrets

Secrets between my oldest

sister Dawn and I encompass

many functions. We rely upon

on another for support, honesty

and sounding boards.

Defense

Maintenance

Privacy

Bonding

Creation of Communication Patterns Family Communication Networks

Balance between high

face/voice communication

and high mediated

communication

For the most part now that

we are all grown adults,

the chain is horizontal

Creation of Communication Patterns Family Narratives

Narratives have developed,

across generations to be

something shared by

grandfathers with their

grandchildren. Beginning

with my grandfather’s stories

and now my father’s stories

with his grandchildren.

Relational Maintenance Celebrations and Ceremonies

Many traditions in our

family surrounding

celebrations and

ceremonies are of high

importance and occur

frequently

Relational Maintenance Relational Currencies

Staying in touch

Aggression

Food

Favors

Time together

Positive verbal statements

Self disclosure with my husband

Listening

Nonverbal affect displays

Touch

Food

Favors

Time together

*My husband and my brother and his children are absent from the above photo

Specific Role Functions

There truly is a balance

between my husband and I

to provide for our children

in all aspects (basic

resources, kinship

maintenance and family

management, nurturance

and emotional support;

individual development and

gender socialization)

Power

My father primarily holds the power bases, but as we’re grown there is less dependency upon one another

My sister controls the power process through manipulation, persuasion and threats

Power in my family (parents and siblings) resides primarily

in the hands of two people

They both

share in the

power

outcomes

Influence

Direct: reasoning and asking

Indirect: withdrawal and hinting

This process occurs when family members use their power to try to

change other’s behaviors or beliefs.

Decision Making

“Because family

relationships are both

involuntary and lengthy,

members may use

negative messages that

ironically function to

maintain the family

system while reinforcing

separate identities of

members” (p. 195).

My sister is in a position of power, influence and

decision making because most members of the

family would rather do as she wishes than be

without her as a member – based upon consensus

by most and accommodation by few.

Conflict Styles

Chris and I represent a more

collaborative style of conflict

between ourselves.

When in conflict with our 5

and 3 year old, we aim for a

compromise (if applicable).

To maintain family

collectiveness, my

relationship with

Squeezie falls into

the accommodation

and avoiding styles.

Conflict style amongst the six of us is primarily

compromise. With the exception of my relationship

with Squeezie and the minimal involvement of my

brother (due to life and schedule, rather than

exclusion or chosen withdrawal).

Unresolved Conflict

“We doubt that the

cessation of arguing

means that conflict has

been resolved” (p.223).

Per my family interview results, there

is an apparent, but never spoken about,

unresolved conflict between my brother

and parents.

There is a

commonly

known and

accepted

unresolved

conflict

between my

sister and I.