l. michael hall mindlines book_ summary on reframing

8/12/2019 L. Michael Hall MindLines Book_ Summary on Reframing

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A Tease About Mind-Lines Book Page 9

In the pages to follow you will learn about the magic box of meaning, how to find it, and how to pull magical lines out ofthat box to conversationally reframing someone's thinking. By the time you end this work, you will have learned twentyexplicit ways to reframe beliefs, ideas, and understandings. This means that when you tune in to your own internadialogue of meaning-making or hear someone else's --- and you hear ideas sure to poison the mind, disrupt the emotionsand sabotage taking effective action--- you will now have at least twenty ways to transform that reality.

Talk about living with more choices and options about how to look at things! aving at least twenty ways to frame youthinking-gives you twenty different ways to feel, twenty different ways to respond.

!s an encourage me nt to work through the theoretical chapters in order to deepen your understanding and appreciationof Language as Magic (chs. 1-3 & , and to tackle the "eframing #irections chapters "#-$%, we have offered threeextensive examples of the sleight of mouth reframing that can result when learning how to detect and create mind-lines.

20 Ways to Reframe "Faiure"

The Toxic Thought: &henever I don't succeed, it really ' bothers me. It makes me feel like a failure. I (ust hate notreaching my goals for that purpose.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic&)on't reach a goal& "*B% + &eel like a failure& "I%

1) Reframe the !

The significance of not reaching your goal means that you have received information about numerous ways that will notget you there.

*.T. - *mpowerment Technolgies .//0/1# 2orth 0th treet3rand 4unction, 56 $71-0#$)ec 1, //0 www.neurosemantics.com

Cartesian Logic

What will happen if you do? (Theorem)

What wont happen if you do?(Inverse)What will happen if you dont?(Converse)

What wont happen if you dont?(Non-Mirror Image Reverse%

9
http://www.neurosemantics.com/http://www.neurosemantics.com/


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!ppendix 5 Book 8age /$ierarchy of 9anguage 5hart

ierarchy of 9anguage on the cale of pecificity : !bstraction

The 5hunking ;p 8rocess< The Big 8ictureThe orld of !bstractions

"orld of Meta-#e$el %bstractions &the 'antian (ategories) The language mechanism

&The Meta Meta-rograms * Meta-+t) that moves us upward into!greement rame-of-=eference higher level abstractions

-the >ilton Model.

Those who use intuiting to

$hat does that meaning mean to you% gather : process information$hat idea, eample descri'es this% live here in the world of the

)or what purpose ? big chunks and into &Trance&

$hat intention do you ha*e in this %

$hat does this mean to you% +istence

hen mediating, chunk up to get agreement.5hunk-up until you get a nominali@ation. +conomy

The tructures of Intuition. A )eductive Intuition< the ability totake a general principle : chunk down usinessto apply : relate to specific situations. +

A Inductive Intuition< the ability to chunk-up to find meanings, connections & Managersrelationships between the small pieces.

The chunking down process< ;nit Managers

$hat eamples/references% 0uper*isors

$hat specifically do you mean.....%

";se any meta-model specificity uestion% dministrati*e 0upport

The language mechanism>ore and >ore pecific )etails that enables us to move down

: )istinctions the scale into +ecificity--the Meta ModelThe orld of ubmodalities Those who gather information by

ensing live here. e come outigh-level !bstractions of trance when we move here.control lower-level ideas, "*dited from ierarchy of Ideasrepresentations, understandings 5opyright /$0-//C, Tad 4ames%

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2ow you can feel free to explore new possible avenues.

) Reframe the + !oo/ age 10

Interesting that you say that. hat I really find as a failure-- and I mean failure with a big - when someone doesn't reacha goal ! then (ust sits down in the dirt and uits, ! won't learn or try again. I'd call that a failure.

) Reflexi$ely %ly To +elf

)-ces that mean if you don't reach your goal in presenting this limiting and painful belief to me, that (ust talking to me wilturn you into a failure?

2) Reflexi$ely %ly to #istener

Then with that way of thinking about things if I don't succeed in coming up with a good way ofresponding and helpingyou with this distress,

will become a big failure alsoD In other words my success or failure as a human being depend on succeeding in thisconversation in (ust 1# right way?

3) (ounter-xamle Framing

hen you think about some of your successes- and how good and resourceful you feel about them, you mean if youmispronounced a words or failed in any aspect of any goal surrounding that, that such would turn you into a failure?

4) ositi$e rior ntentional Framing

=eaching the goals that you set for yourself must mean a lot to you. I can imagine that you take that view in order toprotect yourself from messing things up and for pushing yourself t higher levels. !nd since you want that, perhaps someother attitudes about failure might help you to really succeed in your goals.

5% ositi$e rior (ausation Framing

It seems important to you to set and read goa Is. o you probably have taken on this

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limiting belief because you have had some painful experiences and you want to protect yourself against morepain. I wonder what other beliefs you could build that you would find more effective than this one?

6) First 7utcome !oo/ age 11

hat results for you when you move through life defining experiences and yourself as &failures& (ust becauseyou don't reach a goal as you want to? )o these serve you well in setting and reaching goals or in feeling

successful? )o you like those negative unresourceful feelings?

8) 7utcome of 7utcome

Imagine going out, say five or even ten years from now, after you have defined every unsuccessful attempt areaching a goal as turning you into a failure, and then living from that failure identity and feelingunresourceful... what will come out of that? ill you take as many risks? hat other outcomes from feeling likea failure would probably result?

10) ternity Framing

hen I think about this and wonder what you will think when you look back on this belief about failure when

you step over into eternity, how you will think and feel about this limiting belief as you moved through life.

11) (hun/ing 9own

!s you think about something for which you and define yourself as a failure, how do you represent this? hatpictures, sounds, feelings, and words do you use? ow do you represent the action of failing at one thing as&making& you a failure?

1) Reality +trategy (hun/ 9own

ince you seem to have bought into this way of viewing things, help me to understand this. ow specificallydoes failing at one thing on a

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painful experiences and you want to protect yourself against more pain. " wonder what other beliefs you couldbuild that you would find more effective than this one?


hat results for you when you move through life defining experiences and yourself as &failures& (ust becauseyou don't reach a goal as you want to? )o these serve you well in setting and reaching goals or in feelingsuccessful? )o you like those negative unresourceful feelings?



10) ternity Framing

hen I think about this and wonder what you will think when you look back on this belief about failure whenyou step over into eternity, how you will think and feel about this limiting belief as you moved through life.

11) (hun/ing 9own




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particular day make you a failure? hat do you see first, then what do you say about that, and next?

1) %bstracting the ! or + !oo/ age 1

o as you think about not reaching a goal and labeling it as making you a &failure,& I take it that you do this alot? Eou take a specific instance and over-generali@e it into a whole category !nd you do this so successfullydon't you ? ould you' like to fail at this success?

12) Model of the "orld Framing

hat an interesting way to think about events and in overloading them with meaningD )o you know where yougot this map about one unsuccess eually failing? )o you know that most people don't use that map to torturethemselves?

13) (riteria;alue Framing

hen you think about your values of en(oying life, appreciating people, doing your best, etc., do you not thinkof those values as more important that making the &successFfailure& (udgment about every action?

14) %llness Framing

o since everybody has failed at something al some time in life, that must make everybody v this planet afailureD

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18) cology Framing !oo/ age 1

ow enhancing do you think this belief serves people (ust learning a new skill, trying a new sport, taking a risk andpracticing a new social behavior? ould you recommend this belief as a way for them to succeed with greater ease andpositive feelings? )oes it empower or limit your endeavors?

0) Metahoring+torying and Restorying Framing

o the day that you brushed your hair but did not get every single hair on your head in (ust the right way that you wantedthem, that also made you a failure?

hen my daughter 4essica turned nine months, she began the process of learning to walk, but she couldn't walk upon thefirst attempt-nor upon the first hundred attempts. he constantly fell down. !nd she would sometimes cry. But most of thetime she would (ust get up and try again. !s she did, she learned more and she developed more strength in her legs, andmore about balance and movement, so that eventually she got the hang of it, and had a lot of fun in the process. !nd wonder if this says anything that you can ta/e and aly to yourself now.

Twenty "ays to Reframe =#earning 9ifficulty

The Toxic Thought: &I can't learn these mind-fines because they involve too much complexity about the structure of thelanguage patterns.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic&Too much complexity& "*B% + &I can't learn& "I%

1) Reframe the !

ow interestingD hat I really find as truly complex and difficult to learn are the chaotic &word salad& that a schi@ophrenicproduces... trying to find order and structure in that-now I'd call that difficultD

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The problem may seem like that you can't learn these language patterns, but don't you think think that the real problemlies in how much effort you feel that you will have to expend to learn them? Eou can learn them, but the learning may notcome as uickly and easily as you would like it too.'


hat? I don't understand. hy do you have make such difficult and complex complaintsD I (ust can't figure out what youreally mean these complicated complaints.


owD That seems like a pretty complex analysis of your learning strategyD here did you learn to think and reason insuch a complex way?


o do you mean to tell me that you've new learned anything that once upon a time might have seemed complex to you?omehow, the existence of complexity itself prevents you from learning?


ow much awareness do you have that this belief about complexity protects you from failing to learn something new andexciting? !nd yet it also seems to protect you from taking on a new mental challenge.

5) ositi$e rior (ausation Framing

o as you slow yourself down using this belief that complexity stops you from learning,it sounds like it enables you tomove into newlearning situations cautiously without tormenting yourself with high expectations that you need learn too uickly oreasily...

6) First 7utcome

o if you use this belief and let it run your life next year you will make no further progress in learning these languagepatterns. ow does that settle for you in terms of communication and persuasion skills. Book 8age #

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learning these language patterns. ow does that settle for you in terms of your communication and persuasionskills?

8) 7utcome of 7utcome !oo/ age 13

!s you imagine not learning anything about these mind-lines by next year, and remaining unskilled in themagain the following year-what outcome will that lack of progress lead to? hat will result from getting that

result?

10) ternity Framing

hen you imagine stepping into eternity as you leave this world, and think about having backed off fromlearning-and especially from learning things that would improve your communication skills, how much do youthink you will have missed out on life, relationships, and effectiveness by having let that complexity belief runyour life?

11) (hun/ing 9own

ow do you know when to (udge something as too &complex?& ow do you represent .complex?& ow do you

know it exists as complexity and not (ust one layer of simple ideas upon another? ow does the complexitystop you from learning altogether?


hat leads you to first become aware of a complex sub(ect? If you first see or say something to yourself, whatdo you then do? !nd what comes after that? ow do you cue yourself that something has enough complexityto stop learning?

1) %bstracting the ! or +

ow do you know that you should label this or that sub(ect as &complex& and not (ust the next step in learning?

hat if you discovered that learning complexity actually involves the same mental processes as learning thefoundational principles of a field? hat if you discover that your labeling of a sub(ect as having &complexity&itselfs creates the difficulty?

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principles of a field? hat if you discover t your labeling of a sub(ect as having &complexity itself creates thedifficulty?

12) Model of the "orld Framing !oo/ age 14

ow interesting to posit learning as dependent upon complexity. )o you know where you this map? rom whatexperience did you map that difficult or layered sub(ects somehow prevent you from learning? ow does it

strike you when you reali@e that this merely comprises a map and not the territory?


hen you think about your value of growing and developing as a human being-how much more importantdoes it feel to you when you think the time and trouble you might need to take to learn a complex sub(ect?

14) %llness Framing

ince everybody has encountered complex information at some time, does that mean that they cannot orshould not attempt to learn such? ould you recommend this belief to other people? hat would happen ifeverybody on planet adopted this belief about complexity and learning?

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!s you think about believing that you can't learn complex things, how well does that belief serve you? )oes it enhanceyour life? )oes it increase your motivation and drive for learning? )oes it increase your resilience? ould yourecommend this belief to others?

0) Meta horin g+toryi n g and Restorying Framing

hen I first saw a ebrew text of the Bible thought, 'This is really a complex language. I don't know if I will ever learn this.Than I began to think about the children born to parents who speak ebrew and how that they (ust grow up with thatlanguage, and that they learn it with as much ease and effectiveness as children in other language environments learnother languages.

Thinking about that made me reali@e the error in my conclusion about the so-called difficulty of ebrew. I then reali@edthat ebrew isn't complex as much as simply different from what I already knew. o as I began at the beginning. I firstlearned the shape and names of the ebrew letters. I learned a little bit here and a little bit more there and eventually gained a level of competency that I could read a page of a text. Eet what previously would have seemed so complex nowseemed natural and easy-a piece of cakeD

Twenty "ays to Reframe (onfrontation

The Toxic Thought: &I really dread confrontation. It makes me feel anxious and scared. 5onfrontation never solvesanything, it only turns people against each other and it ruins relationships. That's why it is bad.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic

&5onfrontation& "*B% + &!nxiety, fear& "I% &)irectly saying words& + 5onflict, &bad.&

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1) Reframe the ! !oo/ age 16

If you think conflict or confrontation ruins relationships, try not avoidance of resolutions Then, one daysomething will occur that come as &the last straw& so that one of person's can't take anymore, then, &out ofblue& that one event will seemingly ruin the relationship.

) Reframe the +

Ees, speaking up and expressing your ideas feel scary, but what really evokes anxiety for me involves nospeaking up or surfacing concerns. while small and manageable, but let problems fester until they becomelarge and unmanageableD


I feel so very anxious right now, and fearful, as you say those words. Bringing this up will destroy ourelationshipD2) Reflexi$ely %ly to #istener

o if I bring up anything to you, you have to feel anxious and scared, and think it will ruin things between us?This means you would prefer the walk on egg-shells in your presence and not relate to you in an authentic oreal way?


Thank you for this confrontation - I really appreciate this. I will use this disclosure of yours to relate to you withsensitivity about how things could go awry or hurt your feelings. 4ust think what might have happened if youhadn't confronted me about thisD


o in learning to feel anxiety and fear,you probably use those feelings to come across to people in a moregentle way. !nd I (ust wonder what other ways you have also found, or could find that would further allow youto incorporate gentleness into your confrontations?

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find, that would further allow you to incorporate gentleness into your confrontations?

5) ositi$e rior (ausation Framing !oo/ age18

o your feelings of fear and anxiety makes you hold back from harsh criticism when things violate your valuesI wonder if this concern for avoiding hurt can also cause you to develop other effective conflict avoidances?

6) First 7utcome

hen you think about how you have walked on tip-toes over egg-shells with lots of people, and neverexpressed your values and perceptions how do you like the conseuences that result from that?


hen you think about the way people may take advantage of your non-confrontational style and use ofintimidation to get their way because they know you won't speak up for yourself-how do you like theconseuences that may result from that conseuence?

10) ternity Framing

hen you look back on your life and see how you couldn't speak up for yourself and how you backed off fromevery conflict and disagreement because of your belief about confrontation, and you see how you over-caredabout what people thought of you-how celebrative will you feel about that legacy or about not having lived withself-integrity?

11) (hun/ing 9own

ow do you specifically think about confrontation? ow big do you picture yourself in relationship to others?hat does the picture of confrontation look like, sound like? ow loud do you code the words in aconfrontation? hat referent experiences do you use?

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1) Reality +trategy (hun/ 9own !oo/ age 0

ow do you know to feel anxious or scared when you picture a confrontation? hy not curious and excited to discover thedifferences as you fully listen to another's viewpoint and then work out a winFwin arrangement?


ow interesting that you view confrontation in this manner-do you also view communication in a similar way? hat about

honest epression o one2s *iewpoint%


ho taught you to think about confrontation in this way? )o you think you should adopt this belief as your model of theworld? )o you know anyone else who has a different perspective the seems to enable them to producemore productiveresponses?

13) (riteria>;alue Framing

Eou obviously value peacemaking an, harmony-yet I wonder how honesty, true self-disclosure, and indepthcommunication with loved ones play with, and into, your value conflict avoidance?

14) %llness Framing

uppose everybody thought and felt anxiety and fear in bringing up things to others... would you recommend this style ocommunication? ould you think it would make the world go better?

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someone who can express yourself honestly suppose you imagined the Eou who did that with dignity, grace,and effectiveness?


ow well does this belief serve you? ow well does it make your life function to euate conf rontation withnegative relational conseuences? ow well does it enhance your life for honest communication with those

that you love?


aving (ust started to work there, I really didn't know all the ins-and-outs of the business. That became reallyevident the day that I started to load the truck. I had observed the others loading so I assumed that I knew howto do it. I (umped in the big truck and backed it up to the dock.

Then I began the loading. 4ust then 4im came running up yelling... I couldn't tell what he was saying, but at firstI felt humiliated that he would talk to me that wayD ho did he think he was anyway?? !s he got closer I heardhim yell, &3et the emergency brakes setD 4ump back into the truck-the truck won't hold by itselfD&

!s I looked at the truck, I saw it beginning to move... slowly, ever so slowly... but moving. !fter I had theemergency brakes pulled I reali@ed that if 4im hadn't noticed and yelled when he did, the truck would haverolled through the glass window at the bottom of the hill and through a daycare. Thank 3od he had the courageto yell at me when he didD

7/ay, there you ha$e it-twenty ways to alter reality! the following chapters you will learn how such magicworks and how to 'ecome a master magician!

htt$%&&accessn'$.com&amiguities-unn*'ogic.htm

A Tease About Mind-Lines Book Page 9

In the pages to follow you will learn about the magic box of meaning, how to find it, and how to pull magical lines out ofthat box to conversationally reframing someone's thinking. By the time you end this work, you will have learned twentyexplicit ways to reframe beliefs, ideas, and understandings. This means that when you tune in to your own interna

dialogue of meaning-making or hear someone else's --- and you hear ideas sure to poison the mind, disrupt the emotionsand sabotage taking effective action--- you will now have at least twenty ways to transform that reality.

Talk about living with more choices and options about how to look at things! aving at least twenty ways to frame youthinking-gives you twenty different ways to feel, twenty different ways to respond.

!s an encourage me nt to work through the theoretical chapters in order to deepen your understanding and appreciationof Language as Magic (chs. 1-3 & , and to tackle the "eframing #irections chapters "#-$%, we have offered threeextensive examples of the sleight of mouth reframing that can result when learning how to detect and create mind-lines.

20 Ways to Reframe "Faiure"
http://accessnlp.com/ambiguities-funnylogic.htmhttp://accessnlp.com/ambiguities-funnylogic.htm


16/30

The Toxic Thought: &henever I don't succeed, it really ' bothers me. It makes me feel like a failure. I (ust hate notreaching my goals for that purpose.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic&)on't reach a goal& "*B% + &eel like a failure& "I%

1) Reframe the !

The significance of not reaching your goal means that you have received information about numerous ways that will notget you there.

*.T. - *mpowerment Technolgies .//0/1# 2orth 0th treet3rand 4unction, 56 $71-0#$)ec 1, //0 www.neurosemantics.com

Cartesian Logic

What will happen if you do? (Theorem)

What wont happen if you do?(Inverse)What will happen if you dont?(Converse)

What wont happen if you dont?(Non-Mirror Image Reverse%

9
http://www.neurosemantics.com/http://www.neurosemantics.com/


17/30

!ppendix 5 Book 8age /$ierarchy of 9anguage 5hart

ierarchy of 9anguage on the cale of pecificity : !bstraction

The 5hunking ;p 8rocess< The Big 8ictureThe orld of !bstractions

"orld of Meta-#e$el %bstractions &the 'antian (ategories) The language mechanism

&The Meta Meta-rograms * Meta-+t) that moves us upward into!greement rame-of-=eference higher level abstractions

-the >ilton Model.

Those who use intuiting to

$hat does that meaning mean to you% gather : process information$hat idea, eample descri'es this% live here in the world of the

)or what purpose ? big chunks and into &Trance&

$hat intention do you ha*e in this %

$hat does this mean to you% +istence

hen mediating, chunk up to get agreement.5hunk-up until you get a nominali@ation. +conomy

The tructures of Intuition. A )eductive Intuition< the ability totake a general principle : chunk down usinessto apply : relate to specific situations. +

A Inductive Intuition< the ability to chunk-up to find meanings, connections & Managersrelationships between the small pieces.

The chunking down process< ;nit Managers

$hat eamples/references% 0uper*isors

$hat specifically do you mean.....%

";se any meta-model specificity uestion% dministrati*e 0upport

The language mechanism>ore and >ore pecific )etails that enables us to move down

: )istinctions the scale into +ecificity--the Meta ModelThe orld of ubmodalities Those who gather information by

ensing live here. e come outigh-level !bstractions of trance when we move here.control lower-level ideas, "*dited from ierarchy of Ideasrepresentations, understandings 5opyright /$0-//C, Tad 4ames%

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2ow you can feel free to explore new possible avenues.


Interesting that you say that. hat I really find as a failure-- and I mean failure with a big - when someone doesn't reacha goal ! then (ust sits down in the dirt and uits, ! won't learn or try again. I'd call that a failure.


)-ces that mean if you don't reach your goal in presenting this limiting and painful belief to me, that (ust talking to me wilturn you into a failure?


Then with that way of thinking about things if I don't succeed in coming up with a good way ofresponding and helpingyou with this distress,

will become a big failure alsoD In other words my success or failure as a human being depend on succeeding in thisconversation in (ust 1# right way?


hen you think about some of your successes- and how good and resourceful you feel about them, you mean if youmispronounced a words or failed in any aspect of any goal surrounding that, that such would turn you into a failure?


=eaching the goals that you set for yourself must mean a lot to you. I can imagine that you take that view in order toprotect yourself from messing things up and for pushing yourself t higher levels. !nd since you want that, perhaps someother attitudes about failure might help you to really succeed in your goals.

5% ositi$e rior (ausation Framing

It seems important to you to set and read goa Is. o you probably have taken on this

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limiting belief because you have had some painful experiences and you want to protect yourself against morepain. I wonder what other beliefs you could build that you would find more effective than this one?


hat results for you when you move through life defining experiences and yourself as &failures& (ust becauseyou don't reach a goal as you want to? )o these serve you well in setting and reaching goals or in feeling

successful? )o you like those negative unresourceful feelings?



10) ternity Framing

hen I think about this and wonder what you will think when you look back on this belief about failure when

you step over into eternity, how you will think and feel about this limiting belief as you moved through life.

11) (hun/ing 9own




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painful experiences and you want to protect yourself against more pain. " wonder what other beliefs you couldbuild that you would find more effective than this one?


hat results for you when you move through life defining experiences and yourself as &failures& (ust becauseyou don't reach a goal as you want to? )o these serve you well in setting and reaching goals or in feelingsuccessful? )o you like those negative unresourceful feelings?



10) ternity Framing

hen I think about this and wonder what you will think when you look back on this belief about failure whenyou step over into eternity, how you will think and feel about this limiting belief as you moved through life.

11) (hun/ing 9own




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particular day make you a failure? hat do you see first, then what do you say about that, and next?

1) %bstracting the ! or + !oo/ age 1

o as you think about not reaching a goal and labeling it as making you a &failure,& I take it that you do this alot? Eou take a specific instance and over-generali@e it into a whole category !nd you do this so successfullydon't you ? ould you' like to fail at this success?


hat an interesting way to think about events and in overloading them with meaningD )o you know where yougot this map about one unsuccess eually failing? )o you know that most people don't use that map to torturethemselves?


hen you think about your values of en(oying life, appreciating people, doing your best, etc., do you not thinkof those values as more important that making the &successFfailure& (udgment about every action?

14) %llness Framing

o since everybody has failed at something al some time in life, that must make everybody v this planet afailureD

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ow enhancing do you think this belief serves people (ust learning a new skill, trying a new sport, taking a risk andpracticing a new social behavior? ould you recommend this belief as a way for them to succeed with greater ease andpositive feelings? )oes it empower or limit your endeavors?


o the day that you brushed your hair but did not get every single hair on your head in (ust the right way that you wantedthem, that also made you a failure?

hen my daughter 4essica turned nine months, she began the process of learning to walk, but she couldn't walk upon thefirst attempt-nor upon the first hundred attempts. he constantly fell down. !nd she would sometimes cry. But most of thetime she would (ust get up and try again. !s she did, she learned more and she developed more strength in her legs, andmore about balance and movement, so that eventually she got the hang of it, and had a lot of fun in the process. !nd wonder if this says anything that you can ta/e and aly to yourself now.

Twenty "ays to Reframe =#earning 9ifficulty

The Toxic Thought: &I can't learn these mind-fines because they involve too much complexity about the structure of thelanguage patterns.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic&Too much complexity& "*B% + &I can't learn& "I%

1) Reframe the !

ow interestingD hat I really find as truly complex and difficult to learn are the chaotic &word salad& that a schi@ophrenicproduces... trying to find order and structure in that-now I'd call that difficultD

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The problem may seem like that you can't learn these language patterns, but don't you think think that the real problemlies in how much effort you feel that you will have to expend to learn them? Eou can learn them, but the learning may notcome as uickly and easily as you would like it too.'


hat? I don't understand. hy do you have make such difficult and complex complaintsD I (ust can't figure out what youreally mean these complicated complaints.


owD That seems like a pretty complex analysis of your learning strategyD here did you learn to think and reason insuch a complex way?


o do you mean to tell me that you've new learned anything that once upon a time might have seemed complex to you?omehow, the existence of complexity itself prevents you from learning?


ow much awareness do you have that this belief about complexity protects you from failing to learn something new andexciting? !nd yet it also seems to protect you from taking on a new mental challenge.

5) ositi$e rior (ausation Framing

o as you slow yourself down using this belief that complexity stops you from learning,it sounds like it enables you tomove into newlearning situations cautiously without tormenting yourself with high expectations that you need learn too uickly oreasily...

6) First 7utcome

o if you use this belief and let it run your life next year you will make no further progress in learning these languagepatterns. ow does that settle for you in terms of communication and persuasion skills. Book 8age #

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learning these language patterns. ow does that settle for you in terms of your communication and persuasionskills?

8) 7utcome of 7utcome !oo/ age 13

!s you imagine not learning anything about these mind-lines by next year, and remaining unskilled in themagain the following year-what outcome will that lack of progress lead to? hat will result from getting that

result?

10) ternity Framing

hen you imagine stepping into eternity as you leave this world, and think about having backed off fromlearning-and especially from learning things that would improve your communication skills, how much do youthink you will have missed out on life, relationships, and effectiveness by having let that complexity belief runyour life?

11) (hun/ing 9own

ow do you know when to (udge something as too &complex?& ow do you represent .complex?& ow do you

know it exists as complexity and not (ust one layer of simple ideas upon another? ow does the complexitystop you from learning altogether?


hat leads you to first become aware of a complex sub(ect? If you first see or say something to yourself, whatdo you then do? !nd what comes after that? ow do you cue yourself that something has enough complexityto stop learning?


ow do you know that you should label this or that sub(ect as &complex& and not (ust the next step in learning?

hat if you discovered that learning complexity actually involves the same mental processes as learning thefoundational principles of a field? hat if you discover that your labeling of a sub(ect as having &complexity&itselfs creates the difficulty?

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principles of a field? hat if you discover t your labeling of a sub(ect as having &complexity itself creates thedifficulty?

12) Model of the "orld Framing !oo/ age 14

ow interesting to posit learning as dependent upon complexity. )o you know where you this map? rom whatexperience did you map that difficult or layered sub(ects somehow prevent you from learning? ow does it

strike you when you reali@e that this merely comprises a map and not the territory?


hen you think about your value of growing and developing as a human being-how much more importantdoes it feel to you when you think the time and trouble you might need to take to learn a complex sub(ect?

14) %llness Framing

ince everybody has encountered complex information at some time, does that mean that they cannot orshould not attempt to learn such? ould you recommend this belief to other people? hat would happen ifeverybody on planet adopted this belief about complexity and learning?

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!s you think about believing that you can't learn complex things, how well does that belief serve you? )oes it enhanceyour life? )oes it increase your motivation and drive for learning? )oes it increase your resilience? ould yourecommend this belief to others?

0) Meta horin g+toryi n g and Restorying Framing

hen I first saw a ebrew text of the Bible thought, 'This is really a complex language. I don't know if I will ever learn this.Than I began to think about the children born to parents who speak ebrew and how that they (ust grow up with thatlanguage, and that they learn it with as much ease and effectiveness as children in other language environments learnother languages.

Thinking about that made me reali@e the error in my conclusion about the so-called difficulty of ebrew. I then reali@edthat ebrew isn't complex as much as simply different from what I already knew. o as I began at the beginning. I firstlearned the shape and names of the ebrew letters. I learned a little bit here and a little bit more there and eventually gained a level of competency that I could read a page of a text. Eet what previously would have seemed so complex nowseemed natural and easy-a piece of cakeD

Twenty "ays to Reframe (onfrontation

The Toxic Thought: &I really dread confrontation. It makes me feel anxious and scared. 5onfrontation never solvesanything, it only turns people against each other and it ruins relationships. That's why it is bad.&

Formula - the Toxic Magic

&5onfrontation& "*B% + &!nxiety, fear& "I% &)irectly saying words& + 5onflict, &bad.&

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1) Reframe the ! !oo/ age 16

If you think conflict or confrontation ruins relationships, try not avoidance of resolutions Then, one daysomething will occur that come as &the last straw& so that one of person's can't take anymore, then, &out ofblue& that one event will seemingly ruin the relationship.

) Reframe the +

Ees, speaking up and expressing your ideas feel scary, but what really evokes anxiety for me involves nospeaking up or surfacing concerns. while small and manageable, but let problems fester until they becomelarge and unmanageableD


I feel so very anxious right now, and fearful, as you say those words. Bringing this up will destroy ourelationshipD2) Reflexi$ely %ly to #istener

o if I bring up anything to you, you have to feel anxious and scared, and think it will ruin things between us?This means you would prefer the walk on egg-shells in your presence and not relate to you in an authentic oreal way?


Thank you for this confrontation - I really appreciate this. I will use this disclosure of yours to relate to you withsensitivity about how things could go awry or hurt your feelings. 4ust think what might have happened if youhadn't confronted me about thisD


o in learning to feel anxiety and fear,you probably use those feelings to come across to people in a moregentle way. !nd I (ust wonder what other ways you have also found, or could find that would further allow youto incorporate gentleness into your confrontations?

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find, that would further allow you to incorporate gentleness into your confrontations?

5) ositi$e rior (ausation Framing !oo/ age18

o your feelings of fear and anxiety makes you hold back from harsh criticism when things violate your valuesI wonder if this concern for avoiding hurt can also cause you to develop other effective conflict avoidances?

6) First 7utcome

hen you think about how you have walked on tip-toes over egg-shells with lots of people, and neverexpressed your values and perceptions how do you like the conseuences that result from that?


hen you think about the way people may take advantage of your non-confrontational style and use ofintimidation to get their way because they know you won't speak up for yourself-how do you like theconseuences that may result from that conseuence?

10) ternity Framing

hen you look back on your life and see how you couldn't speak up for yourself and how you backed off fromevery conflict and disagreement because of your belief about confrontation, and you see how you over-caredabout what people thought of you-how celebrative will you feel about that legacy or about not having lived withself-integrity?

11) (hun/ing 9own

ow do you specifically think about confrontation? ow big do you picture yourself in relationship to others?hat does the picture of confrontation look like, sound like? ow loud do you code the words in aconfrontation? hat referent experiences do you use?

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1) Reality +trategy (hun/ 9own !oo/ age 0

ow do you know to feel anxious or scared when you picture a confrontation? hy not curious and excited to discover thedifferences as you fully listen to another's viewpoint and then work out a winFwin arrangement?


ow interesting that you view confrontation in this manner-do you also view communication in a similar way? hat about

honest epression o one2s *iewpoint%


ho taught you to think about confrontation in this way? )o you think you should adopt this belief as your model of theworld? )o you know anyone else who has a different perspective the seems to enable them to producemore productiveresponses?

13) (riteria>;alue Framing

Eou obviously value peacemaking an, harmony-yet I wonder how honesty, true self-disclosure, and indepthcommunication with loved ones play with, and into, your value conflict avoidance?

14) %llness Framing

uppose everybody thought and felt anxiety and fear in bringing up things to others... would you recommend this style ocommunication? ould you think it would make the world go better?

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someone who can express yourself honestly suppose you imagined the Eou who did that with dignity, grace,and effectiveness?


ow well does this belief serve you? ow well does it make your life function to euate conf rontation withnegative relational conseuences? ow well does it enhance your life for honest communication with those

that you love?


aving (ust started to work there, I really didn't know all the ins-and-outs of the business. That became reallyevident the day that I started to load the truck. I had observed the others loading so I assumed that I knew howto do it. I (umped in the big truck and backed it up to the dock.

Then I began the loading. 4ust then 4im came running up yelling... I couldn't tell what he was saying, but at firstI felt humiliated that he would talk to me that wayD ho did he think he was anyway?? !s he got closer I heardhim yell, &3et the emergency brakes setD 4ump back into the truck-the truck won't hold by itselfD&

!s I looked at the truck, I saw it beginning to move... slowly, ever so slowly... but moving. !fter I had theemergency brakes pulled I reali@ed that if 4im hadn't noticed and yelled when he did, the truck would haverolled through the glass window at the bottom of the hill and through a daycare. Thank 3od he had the courageto yell at me when he didD

7/ay, there you ha$e it-twenty ways to alter reality! the following chapters you will learn how such magicworks and how to 'ecome a master magician!

htt$%&&accessn'$.com&amiguities-unn*'ogic.htm
http://accessnlp.com/ambiguities-funnylogic.htmhttp://accessnlp.com/ambiguities-funnylogic.htm

l. michael hall mindlines book_ summary on reframing

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