FEBRUARY 2015

Monthly Game

8th February 2015

Oudtshoorn Golf Club

Our second game of the year was played at

Oudtshoorn Golf Club. It was most appropriate

that we play our Annual Away game at

Oudtshoorn as it was here that thirty years

ago Southern Cape Nomads played their first

game.

Captains Report

Oudtshoorn

I really had a wonderful weekend in

Oudtshoorn. Arrived on Friday afternoon met

up with friends and had a lovely meal and a few

bottles of wine. Saturday morning did a bit of

shopping and a little sightseeing. We played at

Oudtshoorn Golf Club in their Saturday

Competition. Well done to Frankie Brown who

came 2nd and Hein Waters who was 3rd. After

the game we went to the Cango Caves Resort

where we met our Fellow Nomads and had a

“lekker” braai. I must thank Kattie and his

wife, Ilanze for all they did in arranging the

venue and evening. It was greatly appreciated.

I also thank Joan, my wife, for supplying all the

salads and eats, which were also greatly

appreciated. It was good to see the evening so

well supported and I thank all who contributed

and more importantly made the effort to

attend.

SOUTHERN CAPE

NOMADS CLUB

The Nomads Creed

No man is an island entire of itself;

Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls;

It tolls for thee

Hansie Nel is not “up the pole” .. he is at the

Cango Caves looking for his “Fellow Nomads”

so he can Braai!

On Sunday morning I arrived at the club on a

little bit the worse for wear after over

indulging the night before. After a wonderful

breakfast, however, I was raring to go. John

and I had a Pre-induction meeting with Theo

Adams before we teed off.

We were all pleasantly surprised with the

condition of the course seeing that they have

just got through a heat wave. Unfortunately

Paul Stroebel their captain could not play with

us, but he was there to welcome us. I must

thank most of our Nomads for showering

immediately after the game before enjoying

the sponsor’s brew. It certainly speeds up

prize giving. Once again I thank Flats and his

two starters for getting us off on time. To the

Pink Ladies, as always professionals, courteous

and on time thank you. I had the honour to

induct Theo Adams and welcome him to

Nomads. To Arthur Ambrose thanks for being

fines master.

Once again well done to Vice Captain Dave for

an excellent prize giving!

The next game at Mossel Bay is also our AGM

we have a few nominated candidates for the

position of JVC and I urge all members to

please make an effort to attend as your input

is important.

Ken Spencer - Captain

Southern Cape 30th Anniversary

16th/17th May 2015

Arrangements are well under way for our 30th

Anniversary weekend which will be held at

Knysna and Plettenburg Bay on Saturday 16th

and Sunday 17th May. There will be an informal

cocktail party at Knysna Golf Club on Friday

15th May and all visitors will play in the

Saturday competition. The formal Anniversary

Dinner will be held at the Knysna Golf Club on

Saturday evening. This is the occasion where

all our Founder Members are honoured so it is

important for members to make the effort to

attend.

The Anniversary Game will be played at

Plettenburg Bay and we appeal to all our

members to make suitable arrangements to be

at this important event on our calendar.

Captain Ken found his “Fellow Nomads” at the

Cango Caves and it looks as though he also

found die “Rooi Wyn”!

Match Report - Oudtshoorn

We had a field of 54 for our February monthly

game at Oudtshoorn made up of 45 Nomads, 2

propspective Nomads and 7 Guests. The

average scores per division were as follows:

A Div 29,3; B Div 31,1 and C Div 30,8. This

results in 14 Nomads having their handicaps

cut, 7 receiving shots and 24 remaining

unchanged.

Membership Report

Our current membership stands at 105

members (75 Playing members). It is very

pleasing to be able to report that we have six

waitlisted members. (Lars Jarner, Jaco

Henning, Chris Willemse, Jan Hansen, Piet

(Putty) van Rensburg and Johan Hemsedahl.

There are also two new applications (See

below).

It was good to welcome back Ken Haldane and

Jimmy Leggat after their respective

operations. I didn’t notice their names among

the prize winners so the lay off hasn’t done

them any good – YET!

WE THANK OUR

NATIONAL SPONSORS

The following gentlemen:

Michael Brown

and

Peter Yzelle

have applied for membership of the

Southern Cape Nomads Club

Any objection must be submitted in

writing to the Captain and Membership

Officer as soon as possible.

Prize Giving

We congratulate the following prize winners:

A Division - 1. Llewellyn Rheeder (V) 35 pts

2. Piers Smuts 34 Pts

B Division – 1. Ken Spencer 38 pts

2. David Eveleigh 37 pts

C Division - 1. Tinus Prinsloo 35 pts

2. Frankie Brown 34 pts

Best Playing Fourball – Cameron Boccaleone,

Les Marais, L Fourie (V) and Llewellyn Rheeder

130 pts

Best Playing Pair – Chrisleo Botha and Ken

Spencer 72 pts

Over 55 – Ken Spencer 38 pts

Worst Playing Fourball – Malcolm Butlin, Hugh

Collier,Tjoepie Pretorius and Rom Saffy 117pts

Match Box Winner – Christo Langenhoven

Tjoepie says that his playing partners let

him down badly today. He thought he

would be in the winning fourball!

Our wonderful “Pink Ladies”.

IMPERIAL/MFC CHALLENGE

After his score of 38 at Oudtshoorn, Captain

Ken is now the new leader in the in the latest

“Top Ten” Standings! Our new name on the

list this month is Les Marais.

Name Points Ave Pts

1 Ken Spencer 257 32,1

2Twycross Steve 255 31,9

3 David Eveleigh 255 31,9

4 Tjoepie Pretorius 255 31,9

5 Chrisleo Botha 252 31,5

6 Arthur Ambrose 251 31,4

7 Les Marais 249 31,1

8 Mannfred Swiggelaar 248 31,0

9 Hugh Collier 248 31,0

10 Harris Tannah 247 30,1

e still on We wish you all a speedy

recovery.

Ken Haldane

e back Nigel

Tipping

Nationals 2015

Our National Tournament will be held in five

weeks time and the team is practising hard

with every intention of reclaiming the Bert

Hunt Trophy which we lost last year. We have

a full team with reserves and with Dave Meyer

as the new captain we are looking forward to

taking the Champagne Nationals by storm.

Nomads Playing Calendar

2015

15th February - Oudtsdhoorn

8th March - Mossel Bay(AGM)

21st - 27th March - Champagne Nationals

19th April - George (Gold Cup)

1st – 4th May - Zim Nationals

16th – 17th May - Plettenburg Bay

S Cape 30th Anniversary

14th June - Knysna

12th July - George

17th – 19th July - Border 35th Anniversary

(Fish River Sun)

6th -9th August - Botswana Nationals

14th – 16th August - Fancourt – Seaboard

20th September - Goose Valley

4th October - Knysna

22nd – 25th - Swaziland Nationals

6th – 8th November - WP 50th Anniversary

22nd November - Mossel Bay

6th Dec - George

2016

17th January - Kingswood

21st February - Plettenburg Bay

6th – 11th March - S Cape Loerie Nationals

(Knysna)

20th March - Oudtshoorn

10th April - George (Gold Cup)

Emil Moller is still on LOA We wish him

a speedy recovery . We welcome back

Ken Haldane and Jimmy Leggat. It was

good to see them at Oudtshoorn.

Who says Kattie isn’t a Ladies Man? Seen

entertaining the ladies at Cango Caves!

Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't

kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will

kill any man who does.

Nationals 2016

All arrangements are progressing smoothly and our coordinator, Flats Huisamen is cracking the whip to ensure that his committee keep their eyes on the target and make our “Loerie Nationals” an unforgettable experience

Presentations

February Birthdays!

We wish the following Nomads a very happy

birthday on their special day this month:

14th Dan Fairley

17th Anton Izaakse (Snr)

24th Greg Abrahams

Remember the Loerie Nationals

Nomads 51st Nationals

Tournament

Knysna Golf Club

6th to 12th March 2016

Steve Twycross receiving his well deserved

silver salver for his forty pointer and Colin

Bock receives his five year tie.

Welcome to new Nomad Theo Adams. We

wish him a long and happy association with

our club.

60th High School Reunion

He was a widower and she a widow. They had

nown each other for a number of years being

high school classmates and having attended

class reunions in the past without fail. This

60th anniversary of their class, the widower

and the widow made a foursome with two other

singles. They had a wonderful evening, their

spirits high with the widower throwing

admiring glances across the table and the

widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he

picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry

me?" After about six seconds of careful

consideration, she answered, "Yes,... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the

widower. But the next morning he was

troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say

"No?"

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he

just could not recall. He went over the

conversation of the previous evening, but his

mind was blank. He remembered asking the

question but for the life of him could not recall

her response. With fear and trepidation he

picked up the phone and called her. First, he

explained that he couldn't remember as well as

he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

As he gained a little more courage he then

inquired of her. "When I asked if you would

marry me, did you say "Yes" or did you say

"No?" "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes I

will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart

skip a beat. Then she continued: "And I am so

glad you called because I couldn't remember

who asked me!" (Thanks Jan v Straten)

Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?

Answer - So the English can understand

them.

An American Indian on horseback came along

and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She

climbed up behind him on the horse and they

rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that

every few minutes the Indian would let out a

Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed

from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at

the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-

e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. "What did you

do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the

service-station attendant. "Nothing," the

woman answered. "I merely sat behind him on

the horse, put my arms round his waist, and

held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall

off."

"Lady," the attendant said, Indians don't use

saddles."

Technical Point

Meraai sê vir Gatiep: "Djy moenie dink djy sal by die

hemel se hek kan ingaan as djou asem so na drank

stink nie!" Gatiep: Dja Meraai, djy hou djou

baaaie slim né. Maar daar is n technical point van

hemel toe gaan wat djy nie van weetie. My asem

ganie saamie, ek blaas hom mos hier yt!"

(Thanks Barry Danvers)

A blonde chick gets a job as a physical education

teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the

end of the field standing alone, while all the other

kids are running around having fun, kicking a

football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak

to him. 'You ok?' she asks.

'Yes,' he replies.

'You can go and play with the other kids, you know,'

she says.

'It's best I stay here,' he says.

'Why's that, sweetie?' asks the blonde..

The boy looks at her incredulously and says:

"Because I'm the goal keeper !!!

Do What is Right!

Whilst strolling round the Harbour this

morning about 11 am, I noticed a terrorist who

slipped from the quayside and fell into the

water.

He was struggling to stay afloat because of all

the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't

get help he would surely drown. Being a

responsible British citizen, and abiding by the

law of the land that requires you to help those

in distress, I informed the Police, the

Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even

the Fire Dept.

It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and none of

the authorities have yet responded. I'm

starting to think I wasted four stamps.

The Lighter

Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline

when Mick pulled out a cigar. Finding he had No

matches, he asked Paddy for a light.

'Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Paddy replied and

then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a

Bic lighter 10 inches long.

'My God, man!' exclaimed Mick, taking the huge Bic

lighter in his hands. 'Where'd yew git dat

monster?'

'Well,' replied Paddy, 'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a fecking Genie?' Mick asked..

'Ya, sure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says

Paddy.

'Could I see him?' Paddy

opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops

the Genie.

Addressing the Genie, Mick says, 'Hey dere!

I'm a good pal of your master.

Will you grant me one wish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie. So

Mick asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie

disappears back into the tackle box leaving Mick

sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the

sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the one million ducks Mick yells at

Paddy, 'What the hell? I asked for a million bucks,

not a million ducks!'

Paddy answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da

Genie is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked

for a 10 inch Bic?'

The truth at last!

"Some years ago, nearing dinner time at the

White House, our regular cook fell ill and they

had to get a replacement on short notice. He

wasn't the smartest looking guy, in fact he

seemed a bit dirty. Bill voiced his concerns to

his Chief of Staff but was told that this was

the best they could do on such short notice.

"Just before the meal, Bill noticed the cook

sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and

again complained to the Chief Of Staff, but he

was assured that many Chefs did that.

"Dinner went okay, although Bill thought that

the soup tasted a little funny. By the time

dessert came, he started to have stomach

cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and

worse until finally the President had to excuse

himself. "By now, he was desperately ill with

violent cramps and was so disorientated that

he couldn't remember which door led to the

bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out

from the pain when he finally found a door that

opened. "As he unzipped his trousers and ran

in, he realized to his horror that he had

stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with

his trousers around his knees.

As he was about to pass out, this naive girl

bent over him and heard President Clinton

whisper in a barely audible voice: "Sack my

cook!" "And that is how the whole

misunderstanding occurred."

Thanks Errol Frylink)

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go

shopping for me and buy a carton of milk and if

they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back

with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons

of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector

tycoon: "I have some good news and, I have

some bad news....

The tycoon replies: "I've had an awful day,

let's hear the good news first?

The lawyer says: Well your wife invested

$5,000 in two pictures this week that she

figures are worth a minimum of $2-3 million".

The tycoon replies enthusiastically: "Well

done... very good news indeed! You've just

made my day; now what's the bad news??"

The lawyer answers: "The pictures are of you

with your secretary".

Did you hear about the Irish

newlyweds who sat up all

night on their honeymoon

waiting for their sexual

relations to arrive!

The Ultimate in Suicide Counselling

A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff

trying to get the nerve to jump off.

A homeless drunk stopped and mumbled, “If

you're about to kill yourself, how about a shag

before you go?"

The woman was angry and said,

"No! Push off you filthy old bastard."

The tramp turned to leave and said,

"No problems, I'll just go and wait at the

bottom then."

Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Mick, is

that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle

piece?" "No," he said, "but I'm gettin' closer all the

time."

A Nomad was heard telling his mate that his

wife was driving him to drink. His mate replied,

“You’re so lucky, I have to walk to get mine!

See you on the tee at Mossel Bay Golf Club

on Sunday 8th March 2015 for our next

monthly game followed by our AGM.

Your Scribe..

Southern Cape Nomads Club

2 Southern Cape Nomads Club

2014/5 Committee

Captai

n - Ken Spencer

Past Capt - Steve Twycross Secr

Treasurer - Berti Harris

Southern Cape Nomads Club

2014/5 Committee

Captain - Ken Spencer

Vice Captain - Dave Meyer

Junior Vice Captain - Marcel Meiring

Immediate Past Capt - Steve Twycross

Secretary - Austin Graves

Match Secretary and

Treasurer - Berti Harris

Prizes - Terry Dimatellis

Membership - Flats Huisamen

Handicapper and

Junior Golf - Tannah Harris

Equipment - Douw de Lange

Golforama - Les Marais

Sponsorship - Ferdi de Lange

Club Liaison and

Newsletter - John Lees

Hugh Collier receives his Checkers/Wine

Boutique hamper from Capt Ken.

What a star! At every game with a big smile

on her face – We thank, Anastasia, our own

special “Castle Lite Lady”!

Can anyone help an old man with the price

of a coffee?